Title: Insomniac
By: angstytimelord
Fandom: CSI: Las Vegas/CSI: Miami
Rating: PG-13
Table: 1, 52_challenge
Prompt: 9, Insomnia
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Ryan Wolfe, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Ryan sighed as he threw the covers back and sat up in bed, careful not to wake Greg. He hated dealing with insomnia; there were times when he felt as though he barely got any sleep, and he knew that sooner or later it would start to affect his work.

He could always take little catnaps for half an hour or so at work, and they made him feel refreshed. But in time, he would end up crashing and sleeping for at least a good ten hours when he came home. Greg had commented on that several times.

Ryan knew that his boyfriend worried about his insomnia; he worried about it himself. But there really didn't seem to be much that he could do about it; he'd lived with it ever since he'd worked for the crime lab in Miami, and he didn't think it would go away any time soon.

With another soft sigh, he slipped out of bed, carefully pulling the covers back up so that Greg wouldn't get chilly and wake up. He didn't want his boyfriend to have to deal with sleeplessness, too; it was enough that one of them had such a problem.

He padded softly into the living room, bending down to pet Wolfie as the puppy raised his head and looked up at him questioningly. Satisfied that all was well in his little world, the dog curled up in his basket, going back to sleep almost as quickly as he'd awakened.

If only he could fall asleep as easily as Wolfie could, that would be one less thing to worry about, Ryan told himself wryly as he went into the kitchen. He opened the fridge, reaching in for a cold bottle of water, then returned to the living room and sat down on the couch.

Why was his insomnia coming back to him so badly? During the first few months of his relationship with Greg, he'd been able to sleep well -- but then, that had probably been because the feeling of someone next to him was comforting, and a good inducement to sleep.

The insomnia had come back during the encounter from his past, but that was to be expected. He'd been under a lot of stress then, and at the time, Greg hadn't slept well, either. He'd been glad when that was over and their lives returned to normal.

Ryan raised the bottle of water to his lips and took a long drink, closing his eyes and letting himself relax. He had no idea why insomnia was attacking him again; he and Greg hadn't had anything unsettling going on in their lives lately. He'd though the sleeplessness was past.

He didn't have any subliminal worries; everything was going great with his relationship, and they were moving along well at work, too. The only fly in their ointment was the fact that they still had to sneak around and not tell anyone that they were romantically involved.

Maybe that was what had been causing his insomnia, he thought with a frown. It was stressful, not being able to let their work colleagues know about their relationship; they always had to watch what they did and said, and it wasn't always easy.

He knew that Greg hated not being able to tell his closest friends that he was in love; lately, they'd started to tease him about his invisible boyfriend, and he was having a hard time dealing with that. People wanted to meet the man he was dating -- and he didn't know what to say.

Ryan knew that it infuriated Greg not to be honest with the people he was closest to about who he was having a relationship with -- that kind of deception went against everything his boyfriend believed in. He didn't like it, either, but for the moment, it was a necessity.

if they were open and honest about their relationship, they could either both lose their jobs, or be torn apart at work. One of them would be moved to day shift, and they wouldn't be able to work together as partners any longer. Neither he nor Greg wanted that.

He didn't want to work at the crime lab any more if Greg wasn't his partner. He loved his job, but there were other things he could do -- where he wouldn't have to put his own life on the line every day, and wonder if his boyfriend was having to do the same when he was at work.

He would be under even more stress than ever if he didn't work right by Greg's side; he would worry about Greg, wonder if he was okay, and what he was dealing with throughout the day. No, the stress that he was under now was infinitely preferable.

Ryan didn't doubt that it was stress making his insomnia come back, but he had no idea how to banish that stress from his life. It had dissipated a lot since he'd been with Greg; he had been under a lot more stress when he'd in Miami and lived alone.

If feeling stressed out some of the time was the price that he had to pay for having Greg in his life, then he'd gladly pay the price. He couldn't imagine his life without Greg; he never wanted to go back to the loneliness that had been so much a part of his life in Miami.

Loving Greg ensured that he would never have to deal with that kind of loneliness again. He and Greg would never forsake each other; his boyfriend would never leave him, and he certainly wasn't ever going to leave Greg. Ryan was more sure of that than he'd ever been of anything.

He would just have to learn to compartmentalize his stress better -- and learn to deal with the insomnia. He only hoped that it wouldn't spread to Greg; he didn't want his boyfriend to lose sleep because of him, and he really didn't want to feel guilty over that.

That kind of guilt would only cause him even more insomnia -- and that was one thing he didn't need. And in truth, him being up all night would keep Greg awake, too. His boyfriend would worry about him. It would be a vicious circle that had no end.

Ryan closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the couch cushions. He was starting to feel sleepy now; if he was lucky, he'd be able to crawl back into bed without Greg even knowing that he had left. If his lover woke up, he could just say that he'd been to the bathroom.

Tossing the now-empty water bottle into the trash can, Ryan got to his feet and padded back down the hall to the bedroom, smiling as he stood in the doorway for a few moments and watched Greg sleep. Hopefully, in just a little while, he'd be joining his boyfriend in dreamland.

Ryan smiled as he moved across the room and slipped beneath the covers, turning on his side to slide his arms around his sleeping lover and pull him close. Within just a few moments, he had indeed joined Greg in slumber, his dreams uninterrupted for the rest of the night.

***