Title: It's Only Natural
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Logan Echolls/Ryan Wolfe
Fandom: Veronica Mars /CSI: Miami
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Logan Echolls or Ryan Wolfe, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

"I wish there was something I could do to change the past," Ryan said quietly, looking into Logan's eyes, his dark, intense gaze holding the younger man's. "But there isn't, Logan. All I can do is be here for you in the future. I hope that's enough."

Logan nodded hesitantly, swallowing back the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. What he would have given to hear any of his friends in Neptune say that .... But he'd never told any of them just what his father was doing to him. They'd never known.

Maybe he would have heard those comforting words from Dick, or any of his other friends, if he'd let the wall that he was always so careful to keep up between them break down. Maybe he would have had the support he needed, instead of having to run away.

No, it was best that he'd left that city and started an entirely new life, he told himself firmly. If he had stayed there, then he would have been struggling with bad memories forever. And he wouldn't have been comfortable coming out and being honest about himself.

He didn't pull away when Ryan embraced him again; he felt strangely comfortable in this man's arms. He wanted to sink into that embrace, to forget everything about the past and let himself believe, in only for a few minutes, that it could all go away.

Logan closed his eyes, feeling absurdly safe and protected in Ryan's embrace. He wanted to let himself go limp, lose himself in the feeling of Ryan's arms around him, tell himself that there was no way he'd ever be hurt again as long as this man was holding him.

That wasn't true, of course. Ryan could keep him safe in some ways, but there would always be predators like his father out there. And he would have to be on the lookout for them. That was one of the many lessons his father's behavior had taught him well.

He sighed, raising his head from the other man's shoulder and meeting Ryan's gaze again. Now that he'd begun to talk about the past, he knew that he had to get everything out into the open at some point. He didn't want to keep any secrets from Ryan.

What? he asked himself incredulously. Why did he feel so safe with this man? He'd told himself that he wasn't going to fall into anyone's arms, that he had to keep a wall up between himself and anyone he might happen to get friendly with until he knew that he could trust them.

That wall had already broken down with Ryan. Logan instinctively felt that he could trust this man; there was nothing about Ryan that gave off any warning signals. Even his embrace was warm and comforting, with no overtones of insistence to it.

Ryan could easily have expected more from him than just talking about his past. He could have insisted that there be more of a physical aspect to them being here together tonight. But he wasn't doing that. He was simply doing what he'd said he would, being here for Logan.

He didn't feel intimidated by Ryan at all; he felt as though he'd known this man for his entire life, that he was perfectly safe in Ryan's presence. That was saying something; he hadn't expected to feel that way around any man he didn't know well for a long time.

Somehow, it was easy to feel comfortable around Ryan. Maybe it was because he worked for the police; even though Logan had never maintained a great amount of respect for some of them, he felt that he could go to the law when he needed help or protection.

But Ryan wasn't just the police, he reminded himself. Ryan was the man who had an interest in him -- and the man who he was attracted to more than he'd ever been to anyone else. This could be a very personal relationship, not just a casual friendship.

He was more than a little surprised when Ryan raised a hand to gently caress his cheek, those dark eyes not leaving his own. He felt drawn into those eyes, unable to look away; it was as though he was falling into those twin pools, drowning in them.

Clearing his throat, Logan stepped back for a second time, feeling a little uncomfortable. What was he going to say now? He'd gotten the worst of it out of the way, but now he felt vulnerable, exposed, as though he might have said too much too soon.

Ryan was still looking at him, those dark eyes filled with compassion and caring. Logan had never had anyone look at him in that way before; even his closest friends back in Neptune had never regarded him with such a look of tenderness in their gazes.

Was this man falling for him? It certainly seemed that way, but Logan didn't want to take anything for granted at this early stage. After all, Ryan hardly knew him -- and he wasn't ready to commit himself to any kind of an intimate relationship.

More importantly -- was he already starting to fall for Ryan? He wouldn't have thought it was possible, but this man fascinated him in a way that no one else ever had. And he couldn't deny that he wanted to be with Ryan. He didn't want this man to leave tonight.

That was crazy, Logan told himself sharply. Of course Ryan had to leave. He had to go home; he had to be at work tomorrow morning, didn't he? He couldn't expect Ryan to be with him all the time, no matter how attractive that idea might be to him.

Ryan was regarding him with a curious expression, a slight frown starting to form on his features. Logan gave him a wan smile, wishing that he could find words to explain how he was feeling without sounding as though he was pushing the other man away.

"Ryan, I ...." he began, but was stopped by Ryan placing a finger against his lips and shaking his head. The other man smiled, surprising Logan by leaning forward and brushing soft lips against his mouth, the kiss as light and gentle as a summer breeze.

"I understand that you're not ready for more than being friends," he murmured, his voice soft and a little regretful. "I'm just asking you to give me a chance, Logan. I want us to be more than friends, but I can understand that you want to take it really slowly. I can be patient."

"I hope so," Logan answered, the words coming out before he could stop them. "I do want to be more than just friends with you, Ryan. I'm just -- not ready to get intimate. It's too much, too fast. If we can take things slowly ...." His voice trailed off; he looked down, blushing.

"Hey, don't worry about it," Ryan said, his voice gentle. "We can go as slowly as you want, Logan." He took a deep breath, hesitating before he spoke again, and Logan looked up again, their gazes meeting. He was surprised by what he saw in Ryan's face.

This man obviously wanted him, Logan thought, feeling his heart thump in his chest. He'd never been so painfully aware of that heartbeat; it almost felt as though that organ was trying to jump out of him and launch itself directly at Ryan.

He might as well face it. He wanted Ryan. The idea almost shocked Logan; he hadn't expected to feel such a strong sexual attraction towards this man. But it was there, whether he was entirely comfortable with feeling it or not.

But they still needed to take it slow. He wasn't ready to jump into bed with anyone, not even someone who attracted him more than anyone else ever had. He wanted to get to know Ryan better, spend time with him, let their relationship take a natural course.

"It's only natural that you should want to take it slow," Ryan continued, reaching for Logan's hand and squeezing it gently. "I'm not going to rush you. And you don't have to talk about anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. But I'm glad you told me about your dad, Logan."

"So am I," Logan admitted with a soft sigh. "I've kept that inside for way too long. It feels like a burden's been lifted away from me now that I've actually told somebody about it. But I'm not ready for a therapist or anything like that yet, okay?'

Ryan nodded, smiling and squeezing his hand again. "If you ever are, then that's your choice," he said softly, his gaze not leaving Logan's face. "But for now, I'll try my best to be whatever therapy you need, if you feel comfortable talking to me."

"I do," Logan said, surprised to realize that he was telling the truth. "I trust you, Ryan." That was a big step for him, he told himself. He'd never trusted even his closest friends to know the truth about what his father was doing to him. Ryan was the first person he'd told.

Now that he'd told one person, would it be easier to tell others? Was it only natural to feel lighter, as though there had been a weight lifted off his shoulders? Or was that just because he felt such trust in Ryan? Maybe in time he would find out.

They had time, Logan told himself, returning the gentle squeeze of his hand. They had all the time in the world. And something told him that this relationship was going to progress a lot faster than he'd thought. Somehow, it just felt natural.

***