Title: Killing Lies
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Gil Grissom
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Rating: R
Table: writers_choice
Prompt: #416, Life or death
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Gil Grissom, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.
Series: 1) Welcome To Hell, 2) Live Through This, 3) Racing Against Time, 4) Rip Him To Shreds

***

Gil regarded the house silently as he waited for the other two CSI cars to pull up behind him, wondering if he had indeed led them to the right place. He had no idea why he'd remembered this place; it had seemed to spring at him suddenly from the back of his mind.

It looked as though it was the entrance to a gaping cave mouth; the way that it had been built, anyone who didn't realize that it was actually a house that had once been inhabited might swear that it was part of the hillside it was built in front of, so cleverly was it disguised.

He could only hope that his instincts had been right, and that he had brought the team to the right place. If he was wrong, and Greg wasn't being held here, it could take hours, or even days, for them to find him. And they didn't have that long to wait.

Every moment that they hesitated could be a matter of life or death for the young CSI. And Gil wasn't willing to take that chance. All he wanted to do at the moment was storm this place, to find out that Greg was indeed here and get him out safely.

If the men who had kidnapped Greg were still in there, then it might be a lot more difficult to get him out than Gil was anticipating. The last thing he wanted was for Greg to be caught in the middle of anything -- if he was even still alive.

The thought almost made him catch his breath; a sharp pain seemed to slice through him, cutting into his heart. He wasn't going to let himself think like that. Greg couldn't be dead. He would feel it if that had happened. No, Greg was alive -- and he needed their help.

As the rest of the team congregated around him, Gil realized that they were looking to him for leadership -- something that he hadn't expected. He might not be an actual CSI member any more, but the team trusted him to do what was best in this situation.

He had to jump back into this. For Greg. He couldn't bring them this far and then turn over the reins to anyone else, no matter how much he might trust them; he had to be the one to take charge. It wasn't hard for him to do, but he doubted his ability to keep a cool head at the moment.

Taking a deep breath, he looked around at the rest of the team; they all looked anxious, and even a little scared. "This isn't like going in to clean up a crime scene," he said softly, hoping that they could all hear him. "This isn't going to be anything like seeing a body after the fact."

"This isn't just a body, dammit. It's Greg," Nick muttered, and Catherine nodded in agreement. Even Sara looked white and strained, which surprised Gil. He had thought that she would be more than happy to see the end of someone she could consider a rival.

No, Sara cared about Greg. They had been friends for a long time -- and she had known long before this how Gil felt. They hadn't really talked about it, but she had always known that she took second place and always would. She wouldn't wish any harm to come to Greg.

He was trembling as he turned towards the house; he hated looking at the place, knowing what he could very well find inside. If he had to deal with seeing Greg's dead body, he didn't think he could cope. He would fall to pieces, in front of the people he most cared about.

They wouldn't expect that -- well, none of them except Sara. They all knew that he cared deeply about Greg -- but he had always cared about all of his team members. They were all his friends, and he would try to help any of them if they were in trouble.

But this was different. This wasn't any team member -- it was Greg, the person who was closest to his heart, the person who had captured his soul from the moment of their first meeting. This was the young man he was hoping to spend the rest of his life with.

Truth be told, he was terrified that he might be doing the wrong thing by bringing the team here. What if one of the men who had kidnapped Greg had a gun to his head, or a knife to his throat? What if the team being here had signed Greg's death warrant?

Gil closed his eyes for a few moments, trying to steady himself. All that he could do was let his instincts lead him, and trust that following his heart was the right thing for him to do. He simply couldn't stand back and leave Greg's fate in someone else's hands.

He had to be the leader of this team, for one last time. He had to be the one to rescue Greg; he had to be the one who brought the man he loved out of this place. He had to take charge, to reclaim what he had walked away from when he'd thought that he had no chance of attaining his heart's desire.

He'd been such a fool to do that. He should have been honest, told Greg how he felt, and lived with any answer that he had gotten. Instead, he'd chosen the coward's way out; he'd found a substitute, and he had tried to pretend that it was enough.

Nothing would ever be enough. He wouldn't be happy until he had Greg in his bed, in his arms, and in his life. He should have realized that a long time ago, but he'd tried to fool himself into believing that he could make a life for himself that didn't include Greg.

He was more than a fool, Gil told himself bitterly. He had told killing lies to himself, and to the people around him. He had tried to make them believe that he was something he wasn't -- a normal, middle-aged man, in love with a woman. He was neither of those things.

Yes, he was a middle-aged man. That he couldn't deny. But he'd never been one to classify himself as normal, and he was ashamed that he had tried to hide the fact that he was in love with a much younger man. He should never have tried to lie to the world -- and to himself as well.

He should have stood up proudly and announced his feelings for Greg -- well, if they had been returned, of course. If they weren't .... then all he could have done was to leave the lab, and to go on about his lonely life. A life that would always feel empty at the core.

But he hadn't done that. and he'd had to live with the consequences. Though now, he was trying to rectify the mistakes he'd made -- and hopefully, rescuing Greg would be a beginning for the two of them. Gil could only hope that he was here in time.

And he could only hope that Greg was here, he told himself grimly. He very well might not be; it could have been a mistake to come here. He might be completely off base, and Greg could be somewhere else entirely, alone and terrified at the end of his life.

Taking a deep breath, he stepped towards the house; he could feel the rest of the team following him, as though they were reluctant to approach the place unless he was leading them. Only Nick seemed eager to get inside; everyone else was holding back.

Gil could understand why. No one wanted to take any chances with Greg's life, and if the men holding him captive were still inside, they could be putting him in danger simply by being here. But they couldn't just stand around and wait to see what was going to happen.

"We're going to find him, Nick," Gil said softly, his gaze meeting the other man's. "He's in there. I can feel it. And he's still alive. We've just got to be careful. We can't go rushing in like the cavalry until we know that he's not in a vulnerable position."

"He's in a vulnerable position just by being in there," Nick said, his gaze turning back towards the cleverly disguised house. "I just want to get him out and take him back home safely -- and make sure those bastards who kidnapped him never see the light of day again."

Jim Brass nodded at Nick's words; his expression was a combination of anger and worry. "Gil, we can't go in there without being prepared for what we might see," he said hoarsely. "If he's dead -- then I don't want anybody going off the deep end."

"Nobody will," Gil told him, his gaze taking in the other CSIs. "We've seen enough of this not to freak out, Jim. Even if Greg's ...." He shook his head, unable to bring himself to say the single four-letter word that would change his life forever if it was true.

Jim nodded, apparently satisfied with Gil's words. Gil only hoped that he was telling the truth; he himself wouldn't be able to hold back his emotions if Greg was gone, no more than a cold body for them to take back to the lab and process like they did so many others.

Almost as one, the team headed towards the front of the house, all of them hoping that they would find Greg alive once they were inside. Cautiously, slowly, they approached the place, each one of them praying that this life or death situation would end on the side of life.

***

Next story in series - Never Give Up.