Previous part of Lost and Found

***

The next day Nick decided he was not as sore as he had been after the first time and he was very happy about well how things were progressing.  It wasn't until he was walking to the row of shops that Gil had told him about that he realised he hadn't spent a moment thinking about the fact that he.  Had.  Been.  Penetrated. 

It had been a huge burden for him all these years and his refusal had definitely blighted his sex life, if not his love life.  He'd spent months, years, worrying about it and it all it took was Heather saying, 'why don't you just try it?'.  So he'd had to have some therapy and had to tell his Mom and Dad but it had all worked itself out and he now had a man.  A man he loved so much he could hardly believe it.  And now, armed with a list of ingredients he was going to test his American on the unsuspecting French.

After Gil had left for work he'd googled French recipes and decided on a Chicken and sausage cassoulet.  It was simple enough; it would take some time to prepare and cook but he had all morning to prepare it and they wouldn't be eating until early evening.  Gil would be home soon after one.

Nick had written the all ingredients down on a piece of paper when he realised that it was a lot of stuff.  When he re-checked the recipe he'd copied out the amounts for twelve people.  He chuckled.  Good job he'd realised now and not after he'd bought all the food.  He checked all of Gil's cupboards to see what he had and soon realised that all the herbs and spices he would need were there together with the pots and pans.  All he had to buy was the fresh food.

He found the shops exactly where Gil had said they were and he was in luck.  All the shop assistants he encountered were women. Now he knew that he was sociable but he'd learned at an early age that he could charm women...never his sisters of course.   He smiled and shrugged and uttered, 'je suis désolé, je ne parle pas Français'...and he was off and running.  Within the hour he had all of the purchases he needed.  Including a six pack of Buds...a French meal with some cold beer.  He could live with that and he bet Gil could too. 

He also saw another shop and smiled...he would be able to prepare a surprise for Gil after he'd gone home.

He couldn't print the instructions so had to keep referring to his laptop but everything was prepared and ready to cook an hour and a half later.  He never believed the preparation times, even if he knew what he was doing it would have still taken him an hour and the recipe said twenty-five minutes.

As he finished he looked out the kitchen window and snow was starting to fall.  He smiled, although he was used to snow fall in Texas it was a rare treat in Vegas.  Even as he looked at the snowfall it turned to the sleet that Gil had said was forecast.  Icy and cutting into you if you were out in it and Nick shivered even though he wasn't cold.

Nick had texted Gil during the morning and told him to text him back when he was a few minutes from home and Nick would make him a hot chocolate to warm him.  He did exactly that and the steaming mug was waiting for him.

Gil came into the small entrance and started to take off all his outdoor clothes while Nick waited for him so they could kiss without Nick getting wet. 

"Man, you've bought the cold in with you."

"It is bitterly cold.  I think I'm as cold as my old Californian bones have ever been."

Nick hugged him and put his face against his and felt the freezing skin.  "Come and sit by the gas fire...I put it on a few minutes ago, although once you're warmed through it's plenty warm enough in here without it; your hot chocolate awaits you.  Thank God we don't have to go out again today.  When that's gone down I'll get us some soup...I bought some crusty bread to have with it and about five I'll start dinner...eat about seven, that okay?"

"Excellent.  The tables are turned.  You're taking care of me like I did you in Las Vegas."

"I am, aren't I?  I googled a traditional French recipe and managed to get to the shops and back before the weather turned; I think you'll like it but you're going to have to wait.  It's a surprise and it's all prepared to go in the stove."

"Sounds intriguing.  I think you're a better cook than me...I enjoy it but tend to deviate from the recipe and the stuff ends up being a bit hit and miss!"

"You did okay back home.  Here you go."  Two chairs were pulled close to the gas fire and Nick handed Gil his chocolate.

"Ahhh...warming my hands."  He smiled as he wrapped his hands around the mug.  "You didn't encounter any problem in the shops then?  Did you use the phrase I made you practise?"

"Yeah, I did.  All of them were women..."

"...so they fell over backwards to help you once you'd smiled at them?"

"Something like that."  Nick grinned.

"It may come naturally to you, sweetheart, but you certainly know how to utilise your gift."

"I do, don't I?"  He grinned.  "Though in my defence that didn't start taking shape until I left college and had to start fending for myself.  A smile works wonders and disarms most people, especially if you come over all helpless...to women anyway.  Doesn't work so good on men."

"Works on me."

"Good, it's supposed to."

"Walking back from classes I was thinking about us, Nick.  When we get back to Vegas.  Have you thought about it?"

"A lot.  I thought it would be good to put both our houses up for sale and buy a place that's ours..."

"...exactly what I was going to suggest.  A fresh start."

"Yeah.  Nothing too big, but a nice place with a yard.  I thought I could have a greenhouse and grow our salad stuff and if it was big enough have a vegetable plot.  What's wrong?"  Nick thought Gil looked shocked.

"Nothing, Nick. Nothing at all.  That had never crossed my mind but it would be great.  Maybe we should have solar power too...make the most of our environment."

"Yes, there is that.  I was thinking more along the lines that your own grown stuff tastes better and is probably better for you and you know where and when it came from.  We don't have to get a Prius do we?"

"No.  Why?"

"I rented one in Dallas...didn't think much of it."

"We'll all have to consider alternate energy sources before long.  Supplies are finite."

"Until then I'll take my chances with a truck."

Gil smiled at Nick.  Nick was a contradiction.  "Have we time for sex this afternoon?"

"Of course.  I'll get the soup ready."

"I'll turn this fire off.  I'm burning up now."

Nick had bought a tub of soup that was supposed to be fresh so he heated it up and served it with the bread.

"Come and get it..." Nick called from the kitchen and Gil came in and they sat at the little table.  "Here you are...minestrone soup."

They sat and gingerly ate the piping hot soup.  By the time they'd finished, Gil had taken off his sweater and was in shirt sleeves and Nick had dumped his sweatshirt and was in his tee shirt.

"I'm sweating.  Shall I turn the thermostat down?"  Nick wanted to know as he exaggeratedly mopped his brow,

"Yeah...a couple of degrees." Gil took the empty dishes to the sink and peered out of the window.  "The wind is still whipping the trees around; I'm pleased we're staying in and even more pleased we're going to bed." 

Once naked and cuddled in bed they kissed and touched and almost lazily made love.  Nothing too energetic since they were full from their lunch.  But they were loving and gentle and when they lay in each other's arms spent and relaxed and on the verge of sleep, Gil whispered to Nick.

"Do you still want to get married?"

"Why, don't you?"

"Don't answer a question with a question.  Do you?"

"Why not, you just did?  Do you?"

Gil moved his head and kissed Nick on the lips.  "More than anything."

"Me too."

"That's settled then. We could go up to Canada and do it...won't carry much weight in Nevada, but it'll be for us."

"That's the best idea you've ever had."

"I know."

"We mustn't have too much sleep...have you set your alarm."

"No...hold on..."  Nick reached over for his iPhone and set it for one hour. 

"Should we wear wedding rings do you think?"

"Yeah.  They're a symbol of commitment aren't they?  I want that."

"Me too."

"That's settled then."

"Yeah.  It is."

***

The cassoulet, or stew, was a stunning success and Gil was astounded.  He knew Nick made pastas and sauces from scratch but this was a complex dish with a lot of ingredients and it was beyond perfect.  There was also twice as much as they needed so Nick prepared two sizable portions for freezing.  Gil said he would have one on Saturday evening after Nick had gone home so he could eat food that Nick had prepared.  Of course Nick was annoyed at Gil for even speaking about Saturday since Nick was trying to blot it out of his mind.

Gil acknowledged his mistake but far from trying to block it out it was at the forefront of Gil's mind all the time...that their time together was passing so fast...too fast.  He knew he would be very depressed when Nick walked away from him through passport control at Charles De Gaulle.  He knew he would have to consciously focus on New York...only five weeks away.  He knew that even then they would have to part again after just four days...but one thing he also knew was that once he arrived back in Las Vegas he was going nowhere.  Maybe a few overnight stays here and there but that would be it...he was not leaving Nick for any length of time ever again.

The Sorbonne had already approached him about taking his course again next year, but he would turn them down.  There was other work and since he had his pension and a good amount of savings...he didn't need to work at all, never mind come back to Paris.

"What are you thinking about?"  Nick wanted to know.

"Work when I get back to the States."

"We've talked about this before.  A forensic consultant.  What if they ask you to come back to Paris?"

Nick had asked and he couldn't lie.  "They already have but I'm not coming back."

"But you love the work."

"I love you more.  A lot more, actually."

"I wouldn't turn it down...I mean it's not that long away is it..."

"...you want me to come and leave you?"

"No.  No, I don't.  But if this is work that you love and want wouldn't it make sense to do it while they want you?"

"But the separation?  I can only just bear it now and the thought of being away from you makes me feel sick."

"We could visit each other."

"Nick, the cost of doing that would make it nonsensical for me to come over in the first place.  They pay well, but what point would it be earning the money all that way from home if we're then spending it flying back and forwards."  Gil knew he had a good point and it had only just come to him.

"The money angle is important, but isn't your work more important than money...and I'm working too...I make good money and have plenty of overtime."

Gil looked at Nick.  "No.  Sorry.  I'm not coming back here once this contract is over.  If I can find work here I can find work in the States."  To his surprise Nick smiled.  "What it is?"

"Just testing, to see if you really wanted to come back here...but you definitely don't do you?"

"Nicholas Stokes!  How could you?  I thought for a moment or two you were trying to deliberately get rid of me."

"Never."   

"Good job.  I'm going nowhere...without you."

"As long as I know.  Here let me tidy the dishes...I didn't prepare a dessert, I figured we'd be too full.  I am...there's ice cream..."

"...you bought ice cream?  Oh no."

"What's the matter?"

"I have avoided buying ice cream since I returned to Paris...calories, Nick.  And you know I love ice cream."

"It's a vacation; okay so you're at home but it's still a time to have a few indulgencies."

"You're my indulgence."

"There is that."

"That cassoulet was great and I am so full I could burst."

"Same here.   Ideally we should go for a walk and get some fresh air...but..."

"Too cold.  What's the plan for tomorrow?  The weather's supposed to be the same."

"I was going into Paris to do some sightseeing...take some photographs...but if the weather's bad I don't want to walk around and taking pictures won't be any good.  I think the best thing to do is to see what the weather's like in the morning.  The cold's okay and the wind, but I don't want to be out in the freezing wet sleet.  If it is okay are you going to meet me when your classes are over?"

"I will.  You could go into the city regardless of the weather because there are a lot of places to visit indoors."

"I suppose.  I'll see."

"You could always take in the Mona Lisa again...see if she does anything for you second time around."

"Hey...yeah, that's a really good idea."

Gil looked amazed and was about to say he was sure Nick would appreciate it more when he realised he'd been had and held his hands up.  "I fall for it every time."

"You do.  Come on let's cuddle in the couch and watch incomprehensible TV.  Might be some sport."

They found and watched a soccer match and it managed to keep their attention for an hour or more but then both of them were getting drowsy so decided on an early night and with Gil spooning Nick they quickly fell asleep.

The next morning Gil went off to work and Nick had a plan.  He would make some dinners for Gil and freeze them. He knew he loved Nick's pasta dishes.  So he decided on a lasagne and a couple of chicken dishes.  He went out to the shops again to get what he needed and it was much brighter than it had been the day before...colder but it didn't look as if it would sleet, so Nick decided he would make his meals for Gil and then go into the city and wonder around and be a tourist.

In two and a half hours the meals were made, two lasagnes and two chicken arrabiatas.  He cleaned up and showered and he was off out.  He texted Gil to tell him and they arranged to meet by the entrance to the Metro station they used to get into the city.

Nick was pleased with his pictures and he had a plan...but he was keeping it to himself.  A surprise for Gil here in Paris and one for when he got home.  But it was very cold and although he was wrapped up well he could do with something more.  He looked around a shopping mall he came across and found a store and bought an oversized blue and black striped beanie cap; it was an extravagance for what it was, but it was cashmere and on an impulse bought a red and black striped one for Gil.  When he emerged into the city street again his ears were warm and protected.  If it was good enough for David Beckham it was good enough for him... and Gil.

He checked the time and made his way back to the metro station where he was meeting Gil.  He didn't go up to the entrance but waited some way away.  When he saw Gil he started taking pictures hoping to catch different angles of his lover.  When Gil caught sight of him, he grinned in his direction and Nick thought he'd got the perfect shot.

"Hey, love the hat.  Is it warm?"

"Great.  Here, got one for you."  He gave his package to Gil.

"A beanie, I think that's what they're called, for me?"  Gil didn't look too convinced.  But he pulled it out of the bag and pulled it over his bare head and ears.  "It is warm...makes a difference straight away. It's a good job it isn't yellow and black stripes I'd look like a demented bee."  He grinned at Nick and Nick stepped back and captured another shot of Gil.  "Why all the photographs?"

"Well, I can show that one around the lab."

"Do I care?  Not at all.  If they ask me why I'm grinning from ear to ear tell them it's because I was looking at the man I love."

Nick grinned his own grin back and leaned forward and kissed Gil. "Let's go get a drink."

"That's a priority."

They found a little café, with a table and two spare seats indoors, and both ordered hot chocolates with cream.  And a pastry.

"If you stay here any longer than a week I'll be putting all the weight back on."

"If I stayed here longer than a week, you'd be in the gym and training every day."  At Gil's raised eyebrows Nick nodded and then they both chuckled.

"I'm not going to get away with anything am I, when I get home?"

"No way, man.  It is my interests to keep you healthy and in good condition..."

"...you make me sound like a dog!"

"Well, same principal.  Good food and plenty of exercise keeps a dog young and healthy."

"Will I have to go to a vetinarian to get my nails trimmed and get my shots?" Gil was laughing.

"It can be arranged.  Gil?"

"What?"

"When we move in together can we get a dog?  Or two?  I've always wanted one but with the shifts and hours I work..."

"...I would love that.  Mutt or pedigree?"

"I suppose we should get one from the pound.  Give a good home to a disadvantaged dog."

"It's a deal.  As soon as we're settled in our new place."

"Wow!  Our new place!"

"Sounds pretty good, doesn't it?  Do you worry about the speed of it all?"

"No.  Do you?"

"Well..."

"...you still do?  But we've known each other for years..."

"...I know. I know.  It's just that I have never...and I mean never done anything so quickly..."

"...you married Sara..."

"...don't interrupt.  I was saying that I have never done anything so quickly that felt so right for me.  I just get a bit jittery sometimes that you'll come to your senses..."

"...Gil fucking Grissom."  Nick leaned over the table towards Gil and in a hissed whisper continued.  "Don't you fucking dare think that I am going to walk out on you...for Chrissakes haven't I told you often enough that you are the one for me?  Well, haven't I?"

Gil was taken aback because Nick was clearly angry.  "I know you have and I believe you, but it is my own insecurities here, Nick, that are coming into play."

Nick glared at Gil and then shoved his chair back and got up and walked out of the café.  His chocolate and pastry untouched.

***


Gil was momentarily shocked and immobilised but then fumbled for some money and left it on the table as he got up and moved as quickly as he could around the tables to get out.  He was having some difficulty negotiating the tightly packed table, chairs and customers but Nick had just got up and walked out without any problems.  Gil was thinking this as he made his way outside.  Nick moved easily and confidently through life even with the baggage he'd carried around for so long.  Gil stumbled and hesitated all the way.  If ever there was an analogy of how they had lived their lives then the café represented it.

Gil looked around the busy street and just caught a glimpse of Nick as he turned a corner.  He ran, or at least jogged, up the street to catch him up and by the time he turned the same corner he'd made some progress catching up...thankful that he was much fitter than he used to be.  He thought about calling after Nick but then decided that could spook him to run and that would be it...Gil would never catch him.  He was steadily catching up on Nick who looked as if he was walking very purposefully with his head down.  But then Gil caught a break...

Nick stopped and turned towards a shop window and looked as if he was staring at something intently.  It was what Gil needed so he sped up and was beside Nick in about twenty seconds.

"Nick. Nicky. Please forgive me?"  He almost shouted at Nick, pleading, but didn't touch him but then Nick turned towards him and Gil could see that he was crying.  He almost flung himself into Gil's arms and Gil held him very tightly and made a split second decision to keep his big mouth shut. Neither man spoke as Nick cried and Gil was on the verge of tears.

"It's cold."  Nick mumbled.  Gil let him go and Nick pulled a handkerchief from his jeans pocket and blew is nose and wiped his face and then pulled his new beanie from his pocket and pulled it on his head.  He reached into Gil's pocket and pulled Gil's out and gave it to Gil who smiled at him and put it on.

"Shall we find another café and try and get a hot drink?"

"Yeah." Gil slung his arm around Nick's waist and guided him along the street.  It was Nick who glanced up a side road and saw it.

"McDonald's...let's go get a burger and fries."

"Good idea." The place was packed but as they stood in line two high chairs at a side bench became available and Nick nudged Gil to get them.

"I'll have the biggest cheeseburger they do and large fries and a large coffee.  Please?" Nick smiled a little smile and nodded. 

Gil sighed and took the seat taking off his anorak and putting it on the back of the chair.  He'd opened his mouth once too often, obviously.  God knows why; how many times had Nick told him he loved him and wanted him and had they not been discussing buying a place together and having not one, but two dogs.  But he was right when he said it was his own insecurities...he just could believe that this was all true and that he had found someone and it was great.  What the fuck was he trying to do?  Send Nick away...wear him down so he could then look in his mirror and say to himself, 'I told you so Gil Grissom; there's no fool like an old fool.  It was all too fucking good to be true'.

"Here.  They call it a Royale with cheese.  Just like in Pulp Fiction."

"Yes.  They have metric weights here." Nick nodded.  He took off his anorak and did the same as Gil and then they set about opening their usually forbidden feast.  Nick unwrapped his burger and took a bite out of it...filling his mouth.  Gil started with some fries but then did the same.

"There's something very satisfying about a McDonalds despite their reputation."  He said when he could speak. Nick nodded since he was still eating. 

They finished the rest of their meal in silence and Nick got rid of all the packaging leaving them nursing their coffees.

"I'm sorry.  Me overacting, throwing a hissy fit.  You can tell I'm the youngest of seven and gay..."

"...not you, Nick.  Not you at all.  I just don't know what's wrong with me.  I know you love me and I know you'll stay with me.  But...it's as if I need to protect myself from the hurt just in case you do leave...even though I know you won't.  I can't explain it; it's almost a subconscious desire for us to fail so I can be right. I...  I don't know, Nick.  I never want to let you go and yet I know this very type of behaviour is the quickest way to kill your love for me."

Nick put his hand on Gil's. "Not going to happen.  I don't know why I suddenly jumped all over you anymore than you know why you said it...but I was thinking while I was walking along and that's why I stopped.  What you need is some therapy...don't raise you eyebrows at me...you must have low self-esteem if you think, deep down, I will leave you.  You need to speak to Heather, or some other therapist."

Gil chuckled, humourlessly.  "It's coming back to bite me on my ass, isn't it?  I was all very keen for you to sort out your problems and look at you...you have succeeded spectacularly and here I am stuck in a rut.  You're right.  Absolutely right."

"Heather?"

"Heather."

"I wonder if you could have therapy by Skype?" Gil laughed at that.

"I could always ask her.  We could do a three way session with you telling her how I behaved."

"Do I need to?  Aren't you honest enough?"

"I hope I am.  I am honest when I say I want to be with you until the day I die."

"'Til death do us..."

"Yes.  And when we do marry...  I think if we are married I will know that you intend to stay around and I...maybe...will feel more secure. What do you think?"

"Yeah. I'm good with that."  Nick grinned.  "A pair of gays giving Tom a run for his money in the amateur dramatic department."

"I deserved it and maybe it was good for you to do it...bought me to my senses quick enough when I thought you were actually leaving me."

"I was never going to leave you...it was only a fight.  A domestic disturbance.  I reckon we're going to have a few of them over the years."

"I don't like arguments.  I've never really had any experience. Mom and Dad never did...that I heard anyway...difficult if it's conducted in sign language."  He chuckled.

"There was always some argument or other going on at our house.  Occasionally Mom and Dad would have a set to...but mostly it was the girls squabbling with each other and this boyfriend or that boyfriend.  But they'd be forgotten an hour later."

"I don't want to learn how to argue."

"Well that's okay by me...means I'll always win!"

Gil frowned.  "I never thought about that.  Maybe I should take lessons."

"No way.  I want to have the upper hand; I always want you to come chasing after me...and don't you ever forget that."

"I won't.  And I always will.  Shall we go home?"

"Yeah, man.  It's Thursday!"

***

Gil was pensive all the way home and Nick felt guilty.  He knew he'd thrown a fit but he was fed up with everything being perfect between them and then Gil throwing a wrench in the works with his wondering if Nick was going to stay around.  But then he thought it wasn't the first time and it was unlikely to be the last so he just had to go with the flow and shout at Gil from time to time.  He hated running out on him but at least Gil knew that he was pissed and maybe it had shocked him enough to address the problem.  If it was a problem.  Perhaps Gil just needed time to adjust to the best thing that had ever happened to him, because let's face it...he had been alone all his adult life and finding love, as they both had, so recently...was probably a shock.

As they walked from the Metro to his apartment Gil spoke.  "You've been thinking about it haven't you?"

"Yeah, and you have, I know."

"Yes.  I'm an idiot. I'm just going to have to apply some positive thinking to it all.  We are together.  We love each other.  There are no obstacles, at all, to our being together.  I'm going to start repeating that to myself at regular intervals.  What do you think?"

"I think it's a good idea.  I was thinking that this is a huge change in your life and you're pretty old...so it takes time to adjust to the fact that you do have someone and that someone isn't going to go away."

"Pretty old?  Huh?  May I remind you, young Stokes, that it's Thursday?"

"I know.  I'm real excited and hard, man, despite this fucking wind."  They both laughed.  As they arrived at the apartment's main doors Nick looked at Gil as he pulled off his hat.  "You know...you look good in your beanie."

"You think?  Should a man my age be wearing one?"

"Yeah, you should.  You need to keep warm."

"It was a good buy.  I have a couple of hats but they'd both blow away in this wind."

They walked up the stairs unzipping their coats and reached the door.  "First in the bathroom, I need to get ready."

"Straight away?"

"Right now."  Nick leaned in and just gave Gil a quick kiss.  "This minute."  And Nick was gone.  Gil stood there for a few minutes leaning against the door.  He needed to hold onto Nick.  Now and forever.  He shook his head at his overblown romanticism.  But it was true.  Absolutely fucking true.

He heard the shower start and smiled.  Tonight was the night...he glanced at his watch.  Nick's Omega.  It was just before seven o'clock.  He needed a drink.  He went to his cupboard and poured himself a small brandy and smelled the golden liquid and then tossed it back in one gulp, his eyes smarting from the burn.  He then went to the bedroom and found out a condom and the lube...checking there was sufficient in the bottle for his purpose this evening.

"Finished."  Nick called from the bathroom and Gil went to the door.  "I've washed all those pesky little places; I'm as clean as I'll ever be."

"I'll get undressed and into the shower then.  You okay?"

"You know I am.  Are you?"

"I am.  I've had a brandy.  Fortification."

"Fortification for fornication?"  He laughed and Gil shook his head.  He went back into the bedroom and stripped off and passed Nick as he came out of the bathroom, earning his dick a tweak from Nick.  He actually felt a weight of responsibility about this.  It was Nick's first time and how it went could have repercussions for Nick.  Gil wasn't really worried if Nick didn't want to be penetrated ever again...assuming they were successful.  Nick enjoyed making love to him and they would have a full and varied sex life without it...but Nick was adamant that it was what he wanted.  All these thoughts kept Gil flaccid.  He wasn't exactly worried.  But it was the responsibility of it...

When he'd showered and dried he went into the bedroom and found Nick lying across the bed, wantonly stroking himself.

"What have you been doing, man, jerking off?"

"No, I haven't.  I have been weighing up the responsibility of this and how it's going to be for you."

"I think, Dr Grissom, that you're overthinking this.  You've done it before.  Right?"

"Of course."

"Just checking.  So I know all about it, man I've read about it until I'm sick and tired of reading and I want to do it.  I know, I know it can be painful the first few times.  I am as prepared as I'll ever be.  Oh, and one last thing?  This afternoon, I think that was me being a bit...you know...nervous about tonight.  Not you at all."

Gil smiled.  Nick was giving him a deliberate out.  "No, sweetheart, that was me being an ass.  I have form."

"Talking of asses, get yours over here."

"Coming."

"Not yet, I hope."

"That's so funny.  See, I'm laughing?"  Gil was smiling and he dropped his damp towel by the bed and crawled onto the bed and was on all fours hanging over Nick.  Those brown eyes were swimming with lust and Gil's dick, so quiet so far suddenly sprang into action.

He leaned down and kissed Nick, long and hard.  Then pulled away and lay by his side and let his hands move over the hard muscled body until he reached Nick's cock.  He gently pumped and twisted and rolled it in his fingers and Nick sighed contentedly.

"You want me to lie on my stomach?"

"I think for your first time it's probably best.  Let's not get carried away and run before we can walk."

"Okay, babe."

They kissed again and lay together, their cocks between them.  Nick pulled away and rolled onto his stomach and then looked back at Gil.  "Like the first time with the dildo?"

"That's it."  But before he used any lube Gil started kissing and licking around Nick's hole.  Rimming.  Nick was squirming and moaning and pushing his ass into Gil's face.

Gil held on to each cheek and pulled the hard muscled flesh apart to get his tongue closer; he could taste both the soap from the shower and the musk that was part of Nick's uniqueness.

"Man, I'm so hard it's hurting."  Nick moaned from beneath Gil.

"Okay."  Gil wanted Nick to be boneless but he wasn't going to prolong the agony.  But the more relaxed he was the better...easier it would be.

He started the process of lubrication using his fingers and getting as much as he could in and around Nick's anus.  He tried squirting some directly onto the ass hole but it didn't go in since the muscle was tight and he couldn't hold it and squirt at the same time.  But he made sure it was as lubricated as he could make it and used his fingers to stroke Nick's prostate a few times.  He didn't want him to come but he wanted him to feel as good as he possibly could.  When he was satisfied he sat back a little and reached for the damp towel.  He wiped his fingers and then reached for the waiting condom.

"What're you doing?  Having a sleep?"

Gil slapped an ass cheek but not very hard.  "I'm tooling up."  Nick giggled at the expression.  Gil rolled on the condom and then reached for the lube again.  He plastered the condom with lube, every bit of it, and he could the feel the heat of the fluid on his own dick.  He wouldn't last long, but then Nick didn't need that, not the first time.

"This is it...relax, baby, as much as you can and do the things you did when I used the dildo, pant and push back on me.  Nick, if you don't want me to go on say 'stop' and I'll withdraw.  There's no shame in it the first time, you might need time to adjust, just...well...go with the flow."

"Gil?"

"Mmmm?"

"Are you going to talk me to death?"

"You're brave, Nicky.  I'll give you that."  And he chuckled as he positioned the head of his cock at Nick's entrance and pushed.

The head was easy and Nick was relaxed.  Gil kept up a stream of, 'yes', 'that's it', 'relax', and hoped that he was soothing Nick.  But as he pushed deeper Nick became less relaxed as the pain started to make its presence known.

"Ahhh.   Agh!"  Nick thought it felt as if his ass was being split open.

"You okay?"

"Don't stop."  Nick spoke, obviously through gritted teeth.  His breath ragged.  "Don't fucking stop."  He could do it.  He kept repeating that to himself.

"Not going to, just keeping it steady...deep breaths, Nick, and try and will yourself to relax."

"Yeah..."  Fucking relaxing was about as far from his mind as Texas.  His hard-on was gone and he thought maybe his balls had shrunk...he'd never felt less like sex in his whole life.  Shit.  "Fuck.  Shit.  Fuck.  Fuck.  Shit." 

Gil stopped but then started again gently easing himself into Nick.  He was sweating so much it was running down his face and dripping onto Nick's back.  He could feel his scalp prickling from the sweat in his hair.  He was desperate to pump into Nick but was gritting his own teeth and using huge reserves of self-control not to just push all the way into Nick.  But he was more than half way.

"You okay?"

"Don't stop.  Don't."  Demanded Nick, but still through gritted teeth.  He was going to do it.  He was going to do it.  Whatever it took.

"Not going to...just resting.  I have to pull out a little to push back in."  Gil pulled out and put another generous dollop of lube around his dick and then pushed it straight back it...going a little faster that he had but only as far as he'd been before.

Gil closed his eyes and concentrated and pushed a little, pulled back a little and then repeated it but he had to keep resting or he would have rammed himself into Nick and come there and then.

"Geeeezzzzz...  Fuck.  Shit."  Nick's plaintive cries came as Gil was almost home; his voice was trembling with emotion.

"Nearly there babe, nearly there."  And even as he spoke he was suddenly sheathed up to the hilt in Nick.  "I'm there Nick.  As far as I can go.  I'm there.  You okay?"  He gasped out each word.

Nick nodded into his pillow.  Gil thought he may have stuffed some of it into his mouth.  "I'm going to pull out and start pumping, Nick.  Tell me to stop at any time and I'll pull out, you know that.  You did great.  Great baby."

"Do it."  Although Nick was screaming inside his head to make Gil stop.  He felt as if his whole ass was on fire and burning.  He'd never recover.  As Gil pulled back he had a moment's relief but then he pushed back in and he very nearly called out but sank his teeth into the pillow.

For a few more pushes it was agony and Nick had tears streaming from his eyes but then, as Gil withdrew he caught Nick's prostate and it was like lightning.  One moment agony and the next the strangest feeling he'd ever had.  A burning...definitely a burning...but of intense pleasure, in his ass, shooting up his spine, boiling his blood.

Gil detected it immediately; a relaxation within Nick and realised that maybe he'd been able to stroke Nick's prostate.

It hurt like hell and yet it felt good. His cock started to fill and in a few strokes he had a hard-on once again and Gil was moving faster but the edges of pain and pleasure were being blurred.

"Nick, I'm not...going to last...I've got to...come..."  And Gil started pumping a little more vigorously and called out, 'Nick', as he came.  He hands fell onto either side of Nick as his body slumped forward but with a supreme effort he didn't fall and kept himself inside Nick.

Nick moved his left arm across so he could balance his weight and reached down to his dick with his right hand and pumped himself to orgasm with just a few strokes.  He cried out and he collapsed, pulling Gil with him.  Gil pulled his semi hard dick out of Nick and he groaned loudly.   Gil fell to the side of Nick and tried to get his ragged breathing under control, he was so hot he thought his skin was on fire.  Gil reached for the towel and wiped his hands and then rolled the condom off and let it fall into the towel to the floor.

Nick rolled onto his side and wrapped an arm around Gil's body. They just lay there and Gil became aware that Nick was crying, just gently, into his chest.

Gil hugged him tight.  "I'm so sorry for hurting you, Nick, I'll never do it again, I promise I'll never do it again."  Tears were leaking from Gil's eyes.

But Nick sprang up and lay on his back staring at the ceiling.  "No!  It hurt like hell, yes.  It fucking hurt like hell, but I've done it, babe.  I've done it.  I'm free.  I'm free after all these years...I'm finally free to be me!"

***

Nick was sore.  There was no way he could protest that he wasn't, but he really wasn't bothered.  It felt as if something inside him had been released and his muscles were loose, his whole body seemed relaxed and he tried but couldn't explain the actual physical feeling to Gil, but it didn't matter because Gil understood.  As Nick lay on the couch, on his side, Gil tried to rationalise everything
"I think if you really look back on your life Nick, you will remember that that was how you were immediately before the assault.  You were young and happy and hadn't got a care in the world.  Since then everything you've done has, in some way, been clouded by that one event.  Even if it was in your subconscious.  You craved a closeness in your life that you felt could only be expressed by penetration but you felt you couldn't do it...so it became a vicious circle.  But you chose to break that circle and everything since has fallen into place."
"That's it.  I think you're right.  But why, Gil, why did it take me over thirty years to do it?"
"I don't know.  A combination of things made now the right time.  I don't think you can beat yourself up about it...that's as bad as me and my insecurities.  It is over and what you need to do is concentrate on the future....as I am trying to do.  That future is us."
"Yeah it is.  I am going to let you do it...I know I've got to get used to it and it hurt, fuck, it hurt, but then at the end there was this...feeling.  Indescribable."
"That's the feeling that'll keep you going.  And it will ease, I promise you.  You need to eat some apricots...I've got some dried ones."
"What for?"
"Keep your bowel movements soft..."
"...man!  You are gross!"  Nick had already rubbed around the outside of his ass with some Vaseline...on Gil's advice.
"You'll thank me for it tomorrow."
Nick was quiet for a few moments.  "Where are they?"
"In the cupboard over the microwave."
Nick rose, very gingerly, from his position and padded into the kitchen.  Gil heard him rummaging in the cupboard and he came back out reading the packet.
"Why apricots?"
"They are a natural laxative.  In their dried state...as are figs and quite a few fruits, but apricots are about the best."
"How many and how long?"
"You're not constipated are you so maybe four or six and about eight to ten hours."
Six hours.  Nick had to get up at three in the morning.  But it didn't hurt like he had expected so Gil was right.  As usual.  He was cold when he got back into bed and cuddled up to Gil for warmth. Gil woke at the cold body beside him.
"You okay?  You're cold."  He mumbled.
"Apricots."
Gil chuckled.  "Hurt?"
"No."
"Good."
"Go back to sleep."
"Mmmm."
Friday was their last full day together.  Gil had classes in the morning and Nick went into the city on a final sightseeing spree.  It was cold but bright and the wind had dropped so he took a bus tour.  Hopping on and off to explore various places...and so he didn't have to sit for too long.  He had a few apricots in his pocket to take during the day.  A sensible approach, Gil had called it, and Nick had to agree.
Nick was going back to the apartment to meet Gil and this evening they were going to dine at a very fancy restaurant.  Nick had packed his best suit and had bought a new silk tie for the occasion.
As he walked back to the apartment his cell buzzed with an incoming text.  'I am home. G xxx'
'2 minutes away. N xox' Nick stopped for a moment to text back.
When he walked through the door Nick could smell the hot chocolate and discarding his anorak and shoes he went into the kitchen just as Gil was about to walk out with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate.
"Hey.  How you feeling?"
"Good.  Not too bad at all.  Taking apricots at regular intervals."
"I have a special treat; I found some marshmallows in a little boutique...candy store...and they're in your chocolate...so don't choke on them."
"It's been years, man."  He leaned and kissed Gil.  "Love you."
"Thank God for that.  I was worried the pain might give you second thoughts."  But this time Gil was laughing as he spoke.
"I thought maybe I should get another boyfriend with a smaller dick."
Gil smiled broadly.  "I'll take that as a compliment whether or not it was intended as one."  They settled down on the couch to sip their indulgence.
"Have you eaten?  I don't think we can count of big portions tonight...this is the home of nouveau cuisine after all...but at the same time you don't want to spoil your appetite."
"No; not since breakfast.  Shall I make a sandwich? Cheese?  Cold cuts?"
"Tunafish maybe?"  Gil raised his eyebrows.
"Wow, you've got a tin of tunafish for me?  I'll go make the sandwiches."  He slapped Gil's thigh as he got up and Gil very nearly spilled his chocolate.
"I don't want it yet...not immediately after hot chocolate.  Maybe half an hour."
"Maybe after a quickie?"
Gil was sipping his drink and spluttered.  "A quickie?"
"Yeah...dick only.  My ass is out of bounds."
Gil laughed.  "I'm up for that...very nearly anyway.  My ass, of course, is not out of bounds."
"Aw man, you spoiled it.  I was going to...make love to you tonight as a going away present."
Gil's eyes shone with a look of pure love as he looked at his young lover.  "I'm sorry, sweetheart, it was a joke."
"It's okay, babe, we were always going to do it anyway...last night..."
"Don't talk about it.  Finish your drink and then kiss me senseless with chocolate lips."
"Now that sounds very nice way to spend an afternoon."
After an afternoon of sex and a little snooze afterwards they were ready to go out at seven.  Nick had packed everything he wouldn't need either that night or tomorrow.  They had to be at the airport for seven in the morning for his flight out at ten. 
The table was booked for eight but Gil thought they could have a drink beforehand and had ordered a taxi to take them into the city; they were waiting in the lobby of the apartments.
"Man, no expense spared."
"It'll be warmer than walking to the metro in all our finery.  You do look good."
"I don't feel it; to be honest I'm not a fan of a button down and tie.  I feel trussed up tighter than a turkey at Thanksgiving.  You, on the other hand, wear a suit well and look distinguished."
"Well I am a university lecturer after all."
"I am honoured."
"You should be.  Here is it."
When they alighted at the restaurant, Nick was pale.  "You okay?"  Gil wanted to know.
"It's a good job I haven't eaten yet...I've never experienced a ride like that before."
"No.  I think my love of roller coasters helps me...taxi drivers are notorious in Paris."
"Can we go back on the metro...please?"  Nick was clearly very unnerved.
Gil laughed.  "Okay.  If we have plenty to drink the cold won't be so bad.  Come on...let me spend some money on you."
"I can live with that."
Gil noted that Nick was obviously feeling quite shaken by the ride because he had a brandy in the bar.  Gil couldn't remember Nick ever drinking liquor.
"This is really good.  Very smooth.  Usually the only liquor I drink is JD...bourbon.  I've had a scotch with Dad a few times...but brandy settles you stomach, right?"
"You really feel that bad?  Are you okay to eat?"
"You ever known me to turn down food?  I think it's my nerves more than anything...I'm a bad passenger anyway."
"You let me drive you around."
"You drive...sedately."
The maître'd bought a menu for them each and it was in English, which surprised Gil but Nick never commented except that he looked at it for a few moments and then leaned over to Gil and whispered to him.  "There are no prices on my menu...and it's fancy so it's going to be real expensive."
"Really?  That's interesting."
"Why?"  Nick gave Gil a quizzical look.
"Because in a restaurant of this standard a man is given the menu with the prices and a woman would be given a menu like yours...which leads me to believe that the maître'd is an excellent judge of his clientele.  He knows I'm the dominant male and you are my plaything!"
"You're joking me?"  Nick was aghast.
"Of course I am, calm down; but I think he has correctly concluded that we are a couple."
"Rightttt..."  Nick sat back in his chair and eyed Gil up suspiciously. 
"What now?"  Gil was smirking.
"Nothing.  What are you having?"
"It all looks delicious...I can't decide...what about you?"
"The crab and the lamb."
"Oh."
"What's matter?"
"Decisive."
"Well they sound real good.  I don't have crab or lamb very often so..."
"Okay, I'll have the Tomate Provençal and the sole.  Wine?"
"White?"
"Okay.  I'll ask for his recommendation."  Nick huffed.  "What now?"
"It'll be the most expensive."
"Nick!  You're worth every cent."
"Sorry.  It's a bit odd having a meal bought for me...well on this scale anyway."
"Well relax and enjoy it...this is kind of place you visit...only...very occasionally."  Once in a lifetime, Gil was going to say but he didn't want to put off Nick....and in truth he knew it would be expensive when he'd made the reservation, but he wanted to do something really special for Nick.
When they were shown to their table Nick looked around and the tables were set out so beautifully he couldn't fail to be impressed.  This was about the swankiest place he'd ever seen and then some.  And he was very aware of the eyes of quite a few women and even some men tracking both of them across the room.   He was really pleased he had made an effort with his suit and tie...anything less and he would be glaringly out of place.  
When they were seated, waiters bought food and drink to their table efficiently and unobtrusively.  Nick guessed this was the kind of service you were paying for...but that was before he started to eat his food.  He could not fault any of it...it was incredible.  The tastes, the textures...okay, he could have done with a bit more of it all but this obviously was how the other half lived.  The wine was simply the best he'd ever tasted.
All through the meal they talked about little tales from their lives...at work...as children...and as they sat and tried to decide on which dessert to have Gil suddenly stopped and looked at Nick.
"Nick, what do you say we get married..."
"...we already said we would, in Canada..."
"...I know.  But how about we set a date...in the summer?"
"This summer?"  Nick looked at Gil and slowly, as the information sank in, he gradually started to grin.  "We could.  We definitely could."
"We could.  Marry in Canada and take a vacation there as a honeymoon."
Nick laughed.  "It's a deal; shall I...I mean you're still going to be here in France...shall I start planning?"
"That would be a good idea.  You make excellent plans."
"Yeah, I do, don't I?"
Both men chose a dessert...a pear poached and flambéed in brandy for Nick and a raspberry brulee concoction for Gil.  They finished with coffees and brandies.
Nick, while he wasn't exactly drunk, wasn't exactly sober either.  Gil was happy to pay the bill and tip generously.  His suggestion about getting married so quickly had been impromptu but he was pleased with himself.  He was going to lay all his ghosts to rest...he had Nick now and he was all he would ever need...well, Nick and a job in the States.

***

They didn't go to bed immediately but sat in their robes in the sitting room sipping tea.  They weren't unduly sad since they were both thinking that they'd had a great week together.
 
"We've had a great week together...well apart from me being sick and then throwing a gay fit in café."  Nick put his thoughts into words.
 
"All part of life's rich tapestry."
 
"Mom says that, where it from?"
 
"I don't know."
 
Nick pulled back from where he was cuddled against Gil.  He looked shocked.  "You don't know?"
 
"I don't know everything."  Gil laughed.
 
"Man, I thought you did.  My illusion's just been shattered...I'll have to think, very
seriously about this marriage now."
 
"You will?"
 
"No...probably not."  They were quiet for few minutes and then Nick spoke again.  "Gil?"
 
 "Mmmm?"
 
"You know in the restaurant..."  Gil waited for a few moments but Nick was quiet.
 
"What about the restaurant?"
 
"You know what you said about the head waiter guy...giving me the woman's menu?  Do you...I mean...what you said..."
 
"What, Nick?  Tell me."
 
"Dominant.  You said he knew you were dominant.  Are you?"
 
"Am I dominant?"  Gil was puzzled.  "I'm not dominant am I...I don't think...ahhh...you mean as in Lady Heather's Domain...BDSM?"
 
"Yeah."
 
"No, I'm not.  The sexual aspect of Heather's domain always fascinated me but I think I'm pretty straightforward sexually...what do you think."
 
 
Nick actually giggled.  He guessed it was the drink.  "Don't think you're straight man."
 
"There is that."  Gil chuckled and hugged Nick closer.  "I don't want to go to bed to sleep and miss your last night."  Unfortunately his statement was met with a huge yawn from Nick.
 
"Sorry.  Gone tired all of a sudden...the drink...man, I can't remember the last time I drank so much."
 
"It will help us both sleep.  Are you happy, sweetheart?"
 
"Yeah, never been happier, babe.  You know that.  I've done it...been penetrated and hey...managed it before my fortieth birthday.  Hey..."
 
"I know what you're going to say...our birthdays...get married then?"
 
"Yeah!"  Nick looked impressed. "It would be great...and no chance of forgetting our anniversary...unless you forgot my birthday and then you'd be remembering the divorce."  Nick added for good measure.
 
"You just need to get the time off work..."
 
"I'll put it in the book the moment I walk through the door.  What if you get a job?"
 
"I won't get one before our wedding...I'll stipulate and I might not even get a job...times are tough."
 
 
"You will, no sweat."  Nick yawned again and this time Gil joined in.
 
"Come on...let's spoon for our last night together."
 
"Yeah, sounds good."
 
They were up and about in good time, even after less than six hours sleep.  They shared blow jobs before showering and then ate some toast and drank a coffee and at ten minutes to six the C1 was packed and they were ready to go.  In Gil's little hallway they shared their last private kiss and hug.
 
"I love you, Nick."
 
"I know you do and I feel loved.  Funny but I don't think I feel as bad as when you left Vegas."
 
"Because problems have been sorted out and we know we have a future together.  We've got New York in five weeks, Easter weekend, and then I'll be home...for good, on May twenty-ninth."
 
"It's only the month after next."
 
"Correct.  Come on, it's time to go."
 
They were walking into the main concourse at Charles de Gaulle at ten past seven.  After Nick booked in they went to a café this side of immigration for a quick breakfast before Nick had to go through security and passport control.  In the event neither felt like eating so had another coffee each and shared a croissant.  Nick had four dried apricots left and ate them...making Gil smile.
 
"Insurance.  Flying's no good for your gut."
 
"That's a very sensible thing to think about."  Gil smiled.
 
"I am sensible." Nick agreed.
 
They'd lost their earlier easiness, parting was not going to be any easier than before and they both realised it.
 
"Do you need anything for your flight? Magazines?  Candy?"
 
"I don't think so.  If I get bored I can watch a film, or three...play games on my laptop.  Might get some sleep.  I'm back on night shift tomorrow night so my sleep pattern is going to be all over the place.  But the first thing I'm going to do is book my vacation for August.  Shall we get married on my birthday or yours?"
 
 
"Definitely yours...it's your fortieth."
 
 
"I thought that."  He grinned.  "Can't believe I started this year as a single man with no prospects and now I'm getting married in less than five months' time to a University lecturer.  You, Dr Grissom are a very good catch.  Are you still okay about going to Texas for July fourth?"
 
"I am indeed.  I need to meet your family.  They need to meet me."
 
"Yeah."
 
"I was thinking about our marriage.  How about asking your Mom and Dad and my Mom...no one else...to come to our wedding?  They could be the witnesses."
 
"I was thinking exactly the same!  Great minds.  Christ Gil. I'm going to miss you."
 
"I know sweetheart.  Just concentrate on New York.  It'll go very quickly.  We have so much to look forward to...the rest of our lives..."
 
"...together."
 
"Together.  Come on you'd better go through.  I'll stay and watch you take off...we can text each other."
 
They stood just to the side of where Nick needed to go through passport control.  They hugged and whispered their love for each other and after about five minutes Gil gently pushed Nick away from him.  "You must go."
 
"I know. I'm going..."  Nick took a huge breath, kissed Gil on the mouth, just briefly but firmly, picked up his bag and backed away and then turned and went through the archway to stand in line for passport control. 
 
Gil leaned on the wall where they'd been standing and closed his eyes to try and remember the kiss Nick had just given him.  After a few moments he looked towards where Nick had gone but he was out of sight.  He felt sick and bereft.  Cold, even though it was very warm in the concourse.  He decided to plan what he was going to do for the rest of the day.  First he would go and have a swim...his first since a week yesterday and he would swim until he was exhausted. Then he would go to his office at the Sorbonne and catch up on his neglected work.  He might not take that many classes but he sure had plenty of case work and home work from his students that needed assessing and marking.  He would need to catch up on his one to one tutorials; he'd missed a week's worth of them but he would do that over the next two weeks. 
 
There was plenty of work for him to do and while he was doing it he knew he would break off and keep thinking of Nick.  But he would survive; they both would.  It was stupid to be melodramatic over this separation especially when there was so much they had to look forward to.
 
Nick went through security and grumbled to himself at the inconvenience of it all...but at the same time glad they were checking everyone and everything so thoroughly.  While he was putting on his boots he thought about Gil waiting at the airport for his flight to take off and it seemed a little ridiculous.  Wasted time since Gil had a lot to work to catch up with at the University.  And it wasn't like they were together.  He collected all his paraphernalia together and re-packed his carry on duffel bag and found a seat in the waiting area. He was going to text Gil.
 
'Babe finally thru security and already missing you so much.  Don't stay at the airport it will make you and me even more upset.  We will be so close and yet too far apart so go home and do your work.  I will miss you every single second until I see you in NY. Ily Nxox'
 
He waited a few minutes and then his phone buzzed. 'I was also thinking it would probably be best; waiting will make me even more maudlin.  I'll go home and then walk to the swimming pool and have a good swim. And then on to my office to get some work done. Keeping busy but all the time thinking of you.  We are like a pair of love-sick teenagers! Ily G xxx'
 
'LOL. Love sick but not exactly teenagers. Nxox'
 
'Speak for yourself.  I feel younger than I have in many years. All because of you, my love. G xxx'
 
'You say the best things. Now go and enjoy your exercise. Don't overdo it. All my love. Nxox'
 
'Going now.  Text when you board and then when you get to Dallas and we can speak when you get home.  Call me whatever the time. Ily G xxx'
 
'Ok. Take care in your little car.  Speak soon. Ily Nxox'
 
Nick texted when he boarded before he switched off his iPhone.  He had an elderly quiet couple beside him and he slept of and on for seven hours, only waking to eat everything that was put in front of him.
 
At Dallas.  He had two messages form Gil.  'Bon voyage. Ily G xxx' and, 'Did 100 lengths may have to sleep all afternoon. Have come to my office to work but have no appetite for it; picking up work staring at it and putting it down again. Missing you too much at the moment. Ily G xxx'
 
While he waited to take off again, Nick texted back. 'At Dallas managed to sleep and eat a lot of the way. Pissed off now. Miss you too much. There is a present for you under your pillow. Ily Nxox  P.S. Apricots still working. No discomfort at all on the flight. Nxox'

***

He opened it quickly but carefully and then laughed.  It was framed photograph of Nick in Paris grinning at the camera wearing his blue and black striped beanie.  Gil chuckled and held it against his chest.  Trust Nick to be so thoughtful but there again, he'd slipped a little something into Nick's case, but he wouldn't tell him, he would find it when he unpacked.  Gil hurried back to his desk to text Nick before he had to switch off his cell again.
 
'It's wonderful.  I love you in your hat you look very sexy and so very handsome. Thank you sweetheart. Ily G xxx'
 
'I thought you'd like it.  I have one of you too!  Ily N xox'
 
'How did you get them done and framed so quickly? G xxx'
 
'There is a camera shop where you told me to do the shopping and luckily the man spoke perfect English. Just had him d/l the two pix from my camera's chip. N xox P.S. Got to turn off my cell now. Not long to LV. Ily N xox'
 
Gil sat at his desk staring at the picture of Nick.  He wasn't so sure his own picture wearing his hat would look quite so good.  He was too old for something so modern but hell he was worn it today since it was so warm and comfortable.  And that's what counted.
 
Marie-Auguste had called him earlier that evening.
 
"Hello Gil, how are feeling?"
 
"Lonely."
 
"I thought that you would be.  Come over tomorrow for a late breakfast...a brunch, if you will.  You can cry on my shoulder."  Gil could hear the fun in her voice but there was only one problem with that.
 
"I feel as if I really could cry."
 
"Oh, mon cher.  Then I will be your friend and you can cry, I will mop up your tears."
 
"Thank you.  What time shall I come 'round?"
 
"About midday...I will cook omelettes and then we can eat chocolat together and watch a film, what do you say?"
 
"It had better be a comedy or I will be crying..."
 
"...we will see, I have many American films."
 
"See you at midday and thank you for trying to cheer me up I appreciate your efforts."
 
"It is what friends are for. Non?"
 
"Oui.  Vous êtes un bon ami.  Au revoir."
 
He texted Nick about his invitation.  'Marie has invited me to brunch tomorrow to take care of me now you've gone. Wish you were coming with me and that you could take care of me. Can hardly wait until NY.' Ily G xxx'
 
Nick chuckled when he saw the text as he waited to disembark at McCarron and then texted back. 'I'm in lv waiting to get off the plane. There are a lot of things to do. I'm going to start researching what we have to do about getting married and will call Mom and Dad and tell them and ask them to leave the dates free to come and be our witnesses.  I bet they will come – they owe me! :O| Do not forget to ask your Mom. Getting off plane now will text again in luggage reclaim. Ily N xox'.
 
Gil had been asleep for hours on his couch when his cell buzzed. He was happy Nick was on terra firma...however safe it was to fly he was still happier when he and Nick were on the ground.  He texted back. "Fell asleep on couch waiting for you so will go to bed now and you must rest as much as you can you are on graveyard tomorrow night. Miss you and love you. G xxx'.
 
Nick read the message and texted back.  'Sweet dreams and they had better be about me.  Slept a lot of the way back and I feel good. Will probably stay up all night so I can sleep tomorrow. Ily N xox'.
 
Gil calculated the time and texted back.  'It is 5am now and I need to sleep in my bed for a few hours. If you are staying up I will skype you at 2am your time, but text me if you do go to bed. Cannot wait to see you, even if it is on a computer screen. Ily G xxx'.
 
Nick had already forgotten about the time difference. 'Man, go to bed, you should not have stayed up. Ily N xox'.
 
Gil chuckled at his orders. 'Bossy.  But I don't mind because I love you. G xxx'.
 
Just then Nick suitcase arrived on the carousel so he didn't text Gil back figuring he needed to get in bed and have some quality sleep.  Nick loaded his truck up and drove home. 
 
His home was quiet and lonely and cold so he set his heating higher and made a drink of tea and took it upstairs and took a quick shower to wash the grime of travelling away.  He dressed in some sweatpants and a long sleeved tee and felt almost instantly at home although he thought it was no longer a proper home without Gil.  He collected his mail and put it on the kitchen table and made another drink before checking it through.  Bills. All of them and they always came together.  But then he didn't get much post anyway...his sisters e-mailed or texted...and no one else would write to him unless they wanted his money. 
 
He then hauled his suitcase upstairs and started to unpack.  He almost immediately found two packages wrapped in delicate tissue paper and tied with fancy string and little bows.  No tags.  He knew immediately what one of them was.  His dildo.  He opened it and smiled as he examined it; after all he knew where it had been...
 
He didn't know what his other present was but sat down on his bed as he gently unwrapped the small hard package.  Funny, he thought, that they'd both left presents for each other.  The tissue paper removed he was staring at what he thought was a small red leather ring box that had seen better days but there was a note folded with it so he opened it and read it.
 
'My darling Nick
 
This was my father's signet ring and Mom gave it to me when I was eighteen. You don't have to wear it if you don't want to but I do want you to have it as a token of my love.  I hope you will now realise that I know you will never leave me because I would never entrust this ring with anyone other than you.  I told Mom and she was in full agreement.  I could not give it to you before because it was in Paris when I was in Las Vegas and then I thought I would slip it in your case to be a surprise for you when you got back home.
 
I do not think I will ever have adequate words to tell you just how much I love you or be able to show you just how much you mean to me but this ring has been my most precious possession for all these years and you are the only person who has ever been precious enough to me for me to be able to part with the ring.
 
I love you, Nick.  Now and forever.
 
Gil.'
 
Nick hadn't even looked at the ring in the little red box but he was crying and his tears were rolling down his cheeks.  He had to get up to fetch some toilet paper to wipe his face and blow his nose.  He came back to the bed and read the note again and didn't cry again but smiled and then he wiped his hands along his sweats and gingerly opened the box.
 
The ring was a gold band with a small stone in the middle.  It looked like a diamond.  Nick plucked it out of the box and looked at...though the box was worn the ring looked like new.  But, of course, Gil's father had died when Gil was nine, so maybe he didn't wear it for very long.  It was small and Nick put it against the fingers on his right hand.  It would fit his ring finger where his frat ring was, so he took that off and pushed it onto the finger.  It was tight but once it was over his knuckle it fitted perfectly.  It was time to abandon his frat ring and wear this.  Although, if it was precious to both Gil and his Mom would they want him to wear it?  He was an advocate of 'rings were made to wear'.  But he'd check it out with Gil but he was leaving it on for time being and kept glancing down at it and re-read Gil's note several times.
 
He had never been happier in his entire life.  He knew that much...

***

Nick spent until two in the morning catching up...he did his washing and then went through his e-mails.  He had kept an eye on them in Paris; just in case there was anything urgent from his family or even work, but there was nothing.  He wrote a long travelogue about Paris to his Mom and Dad and a less reverent one to his twin sisters and answered a couple more.  He prepared his bills and when he'd finished he made himself an omelette...hoping his eggs were still fresh, but they cooked okay and tasted good so he wasn't worried.  He'd go to the supermarket in the morning, after Gil and before sleep...  He was getting fidgety waiting for Gil.  He didn't think he was missing him as much as he had when Gil had gone to Paris...because so much had happened in their week together...predominantly their plans to marry.  And then Nick realised that he could start his research there and then.
 
With a mug of fresh tea at his side he sat at his computer again and googled.  No residency tests were required but you needed to book your date and have your details to hand...birth certificates and passports as far as he could see.  Divorce papers if you were previously married.  Not applicable.  He made a note of the numbers to call in Vancouver...he'd decided on the flight home it would be ideal base to start a honeymoon and easy to get to for their parents...if they could be persuaded to go.  He'd done all that in twenty minutes.
 
He also made a note to ask Gil relevant details when they spoke...he checked the time, that was in another twenty minutes.  And he must ask about his vacation days as soon as he got to work; he would tell Catherine why and hope to sway her to let him have the time off.  He went to take a piss at a quarter to two and then hung around his computer waiting for Gil to call him up.  He was seven minutes early.
 
"Nick, so good to be able to see you once more."
 
"Gil, babe, the ring!  It's so great, look."  He held up his hand so that it appeared on screen.
 
"It looks as if it fits."  Gil sounded very pleased.
 
"It's perfect. It was tight to get on but that's good, it isn't going to fall of...Gil, can I wear it?"
 
"What do you mean?  Of course you can wear it that's what rings are for."
 
"Well, you've never worn it..."
 
"...it doesn't fit...never has; my fingers are too big and I really didn't want to have it altered but it's obviously perfect for you."
 
"What about your Mom?"
 
"What about...oh, you mean you wearing it?"
 
"Yeah."
 
"Well, although she never said anything about me not wearing it when I e-mailed her about giving it to you, she was all for it and actually said it would be good to see it being worn for a change."
 
"You must ask her about being a witness...before I go to bed I'm going to call Mom and Dad and ask them."
 
"I think it would be good if you asked my Mom as well...you know Mom and I just amble along but if you were to ask her, I think she'd be...touched."
 
"If you think it'll be okay I've got a signing lesson on Tuesday before work...I forgot to practise though, I should have done some with you!"
 
"Furthest thing from my mind while you were here with me.  I miss you...yesterday was pretty bad but at least I was so tired in the end I could hardly keep my eyes open and I've just slept well."
 
"Are you going swimming again?"
 
"When we finish here...then back here and try and do a little work before walking over to Marie's...I think I have to watch a film with her and I've requested a comedy because I don't want to have to weep in front of her..."
 
"...have you seen The Shawshank Redemption?"
 
"No, why?"
 
"She's got that I saw it on her shelf.  They reckon it's the best film never to get an Oscar...it's a pretty good.  I think you'd enjoy it."
 
"Then I'll ask to watch it. I love my picture you left me...you look so good...I don't think the beanie flatters me like it does you."
 
"It does.  Makes you look warm and cosy."
 
"Warm and cosy?  Makes me sound as if I'm in my dotage...and there's no need to agree that I am..."
 
"...as if.  Hey, I need some information.  Your passport number and your birth certificate.  What do you think about Vancouver?"
 
"Good choice.  We could go along the Rockies or take a cruise for our honeymoon...I don't think we'll see any whales in August though."
 
"Not in the Rockies, we won't..."
 
"...you think you're so funny."  But Gil laughed.  "My birth certificate is upstairs in your spare room...it was in my safe and I brought it back when I went to get my watch for you.  It's in a folder in the top drawer of the dresser.  I'll go get my passport, hold on..." 
 
Gil disappeared from the screen and it gave Nick a few minutes to think about their conversation.  Easy.  Comfortable.  Nick was of the opinion that they were made for one another and everything they did together confirmed it.  He glanced down at his ring again.  He would wear it on Tuesday and see what Betty said, he didn't want to offend her.  So he wouldn't wear it to work until he'd spoken to her.
 
When Gil came back they talked a little longer about the flight, Marie-Auguste, Gil's work and all the minutiae of their lives.  But their minutiae were important to them both because they were both interested and concerned for each other.  This talking went on for over an hour and in the end Gil called an end to it.
 
"I need to go swimming and get back and go to Marie's and there's no time to do any work now...and I have the feeling I will be a little drunk when I get back so work will very likely be out of the question."
 
"Don't forget to drink plenty of water and take some Tylenol."
 
"Yes, Dr Stokes."
 
"It works."
 
"I know it does.  I love you, Nick.  I love that you like the ring..."
 
"...I don't like it I love it..."
 
"...what about your frat ring?"
 
"I've moved on.  Just this ring on my right hand and a wedding band on my left hand.  That's enough for me."
 
 
"You must look at rings for us...matching?"
 
"Of course.  Gold or platinum?"
 
"Whatever you want, you have such good taste.  You did choose me."
 
"Someone had to..."
 
They always hated finishing their calls but they arranged to do one again on Wednesday after Nick had been to see Betty.  It was always more difficult when Nick was working the graveyard shift.
 
After the call he made a list of groceries he needed and then settled down to watch a film he'd found. An old western with Clint Eastwood, 'Unforgiven'; he remembered seeing it years ago and it was critically acclaimed but he gave up less than half way through, it was too dark for his happy mood so he found an old basketball game and watched that instead.
 
At regular intervals he'd suddenly remember his ring and hold his hand up to look at it.  He loved it.  He hoped he would be able to wear it all the time.  He started to feel tired around five in the morning and he wanted to go to the supermarket at six when it opened, so did a few basic exercises, only on his living room floor; just some crunches and sit-ups and he could feel his muscles pulling after only a week of missing work-outs.  He took a cool shower and dressed and was out of the house at ten minutes to six and at ten past he was parking up near the front entrance of the supermarket as one of its first customers of the day.
 
He was a regular and he knew where everything was; he took his time checking for freshness and checking ingredients.  He didn't need a great deal but he spread it out for getting on for an hour although he did keep checking his ring, in case he'd lost it. Since he didn't have Betty's permission to wear it out of the house it would be a major calamity if he did lose it.  He also daydreamed about their new place and what he would be able to grow if their yard was big enough.  He paid for his groceries and ambled back to his truck and was back home and unpacked at twenty minutes to eight.  He thought about calling Texas but since there were an hour behind he thought it was bit early even for him Mom...so he did his ironing.  He hated ironing but once it was done that was it...then he would call home and see what hid Mom had to say about him getting married.

***

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