Title: Lie to Me
By: lewis771750
Challenge: Virtual Rewind, Buffy Titles, no word limit.
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Not mine, Jerry and the people at CBS would never be quite this twisted:) But it is all just for fun, honest.
Spoilers: Play With Fire, Crash And Burn, Lady Heather's Box, Lie to Me (Buffy, season 2).
Words: 2,790
AN: Well you did say no word limit! Again iTunes pulls an incredibly apt choice of music first time.

***

Sara woke up feeling confused and slightly disoriented. She was in her bedroom, but something wasn't quite right. It wasn't only the slight buzzing in her head from drinking a bit too much the night before, something else was wrong, out of place.

She rolled over to try and see what it was and found she couldn't move, she was held tightly in a pair of arms that tightened as she had started to move. Although it was constricting, the attention felt loving and caring rather than forceful and deliberately restraining.

As she was considering what to do, how to find out who was holding her like this, the first clear memories of the night before started to rise.

It all started when she'd asked Gil to go to dinner with her. Her narrow brush with death when the lab exploded had made her reassess her priorities. The sense of living in the now, Carpe-ing the Diem to mangle a phrase, wouldn't last, but whilst she'd been living that way she'd been brave enough to make her move. She thought it would let them end the tip toeing around one way or another, and that it would be good for her. Either she could move on single and look for someone else to fill the lonely places in her heart, or she could move on with Gil filling that role, perhaps for their rest of their lives.

However, she hadn't got the answer that she'd hoped for. His face as he'd said no was the burning image in her head right now. He'd gone on to say he didn't know how to deal with what was between them and so, it wasn't quite a crushing defeat, at least he'd felt something towards her, he just wasn't prepared to act on it. But that sense of living in the now hadn't deserted her, at least she knew where she stood, even if it wasn't really where she'd hoped she would.

That said; Sara had still been desolated at his rejection. She'd managed to maintain an outwardly calm demeanour as she made her way back to the locker room. There, she sat down and let the tears flow, not able to hold them in any more. She hadn't been sobbing, just crying, tears rolling down her cheeks, but she'd turned partially away from the door so people passing in the corridor wouldn't see. She'd been lost enough that she was startled when a hand touched her shoulder, not having heard anyone come in.

She jumped, trying to wipe the tears away until the voice had registered. It wasn't the words, "Sara, what's wrong pet?" but, more precisely, the pitch of the voice that registered; she knew that voice by heart. Here was Catherine offering her support in her moment of need again.

Sara turned around, letting Catherine see the tears on her face. Catherine reached out to brush them away before sitting down next to her.

"What's up Sara, why are you crying?" she asked softly, tenderly.

"I grabbed the bull by the horns, asked Gil out to dinner. To discover, that although he had the horn he didn't want to use it." Sara answered. "'I don't know what to do about this' was what he told me" she went on, initially imitating Grissom's tone of voice and cadence of speech with startling accuracy. Catherine didn't know whether to smile at the wonderfully mixed metaphor and the skilful impersonation or be angry at the off-hand way he'd treated this special woman.

"Drink again?" she asked, knowing that Sara would catch the reference back to their drink after she'd found out about Hank and Elaine. She didn't want to think about how the prospect of spending more social time with Sara made her feel, particularly now. It was obvious that Sara was only interested in men, and although Catherine had always been bi she wasn't really out in this job. She couldn't face the bigotry and misunderstandings that the legislation said was illegal but human nature still produced, especially since her job within the police force.

Sara looked up gratefully. She hadn't come here expecting this, thinking Catherine had already left, but she wasn't going to turn down time with this intriguing woman. Yes, they fought, they probably always would, but the fighting was part of what tied them together, the differences between them complimenting each other even as they didn't always understand each other.

During the drive to the bar the pair of them sat quietly. Catherine wasn't sure what to say, while Sara was using the time to reassess her priorities again, to sort out what to do with the void that knowing Gil wouldn't be her lover had left.

- - - - - - -

In the bar, nursing their third beer the atmosphere had changed. It wasn't only alcohol loosening their tongues; the pair had slipped into an easy rapport, trading stories of former loves lost and the inadequacies and foibles that had caused the split. It could have been really bitchy, but it was more a sharing of past pain than a real assassination of anyone, something they were both happy to maintain. Suddenly, unbidden, the tears welled up in Sara's eyes again. Hank and then Gil in short order was too much for her to bear without tears. Catherine leaned over, holding the taller woman to her, letting the emotions run free. Suddenly she heard words between Sara's sobs.

"Catherine, please, tell me it'll all be alright. Tell me it's worth this pain. Lie to me if you need to, but please."

Catherine was rather taken aback. She didn't quite know where to go with this at first. Then she gathered her wits.

"Sara, honey, it will be alright. Pain is part of what tells us we're alive. It's part of growing physically and emotionally. It *is* hard as we go through it, but it is worth it in the end. If they cause you that much pain it shows you're able to open up and relate to people. That's important. The fact that they can't see how special you are, how much you have to offer makes it their loss, not yours. The right person *is* out there for you somewhere." Catherine could tell this wasn't quite working. She was telling the truth as she saw it, but Sara had said lie to me, she wanted the platitudes, she wanted something more. Suddenly Catherine realised what Sara wanted to hear. She wasn't sure she could do it, but perhaps it would be good for them both.

"The good guys wear white, and the bad guys are easily distinguished by their black hats or their horns. Good always triumphs, the bad guys are sent away for the right crimes and we all go home and sleep safely with the one we love." Tears sprang to Catherine's eyes as she said these words. She was lying, they both knew it, but she was identifying and in a roundabout way actively forgiving Sara for the thing that Sara still hadn't forgiven herself for; the failure to identify Eddie's killer. Sara looked up, smiling through her tears and said, "Liar."

At this point Sara was brought out of her reverie; her memory of last night interrupted by a sudden noise from behind her. It was just a grunt, a noise made in the depths of sleep, but it brought her back to the here and now. Something else penetrated Sara's mind. She was in bed with someone else and she was naked. What had happened the night before? She was remembering being turned down by Gil, being comforted by Catherine, and now here she was naked in bed, with someone! Who? Rather than doing the smart thing of trying to see the arms that were holding her, or even leaning back, trying to judge the size of the person holding her that way, Sara decided to enjoy the sensation and continue replaying the events of the night before to see if that would help.

In her mind's eye she could see herself looking up into Catherine's tear-swollen eyes as she finally admitted, however perversely, some of her emotions about Sara's failure to secure the evidence for Eddie's murder. Sara was stunned to have heard the forgiveness for her failings in Catherine's voice. There was pain to be sure, but Catherine forgave her, which made things seem much better. Not quite sure why or how she found herself moving in, kissing Catherine's eyes, kissing the tears away. Catherine didn't draw back; in fact she seemed to revel in the kisses. Sara wasn't sure how it happened, perhaps never would be, but as she drew back to change eyes and kiss the tears in the other eye away her lips landed full on Catherine's lush lips rather than her eye. Catherine's lips parted beneath Sara's kiss, and Sara opened her mouth too, tentatively extending her tongue to explore Catherine's mouth.

Sara really didn't know where this had come from. She'd always fancied Catherine, knowing their fighting was in part a denial of her own attraction. But she never dreamed that Catherine might feel the same way. The moan that rumbled out of the blonde's throat as Sara invaded her mouth reassured Sara that Catherine was enjoying this, that she wanted this too. The kiss intensified. Catherine was responding, returning the kiss, sharing her passion and showing Sara in so many ways that it was a mutual feeling.

Suddenly the next part of the night came crashing back to Sara's memory. The hands roaming in the bar, stimulating each other, teasing and exploring in equal measure. The sensation of cupping Catherine's breast in her hand, rubbing the nipple through the fabric of her shirt and bra, yet still feeling the nipple grow rock hard beneath her touch. The wonderful sensations as Catherine returned the compliment, stimulating her nipples before slipping a hand under Sara's tank top to reach up and grasp her breast directly, skin on skin contact for the first time.

She remembered with such clarity, the moment that, sitting next to each other, leaning against each other and enjoying that sensation led to hands disappearing under the table and stroking each other's thighs. Remembered that stimulation leading directly to their legs slipping further apart and then, gloriously, simultaneously, they slid their hands up each other's thigh and cupped the waiting mound through their trousers. It couldn't have been better timed if it was choreographed, and the twin jolts that ran through their bodies, felt by the other through the contact of their shoulders was magical.

Sara could also remember what came next: a drink whilst they tried to decide what to do. Both of them were panting with desire, wanting a release, needing to express their true feelings for each other. But, suddenly, reality came crashing down. They'd moved a little apart and were wondering how to express their love and whether they should, could, take it further as quickly as they had come this far. Sara was about to speak, had already opened her mouth in fact, when she realised that Catherine was looking past her, over her head. Sara swallowed her words and turned round. Coming towards them was her recent potential beau, Gil Grissom, with a half-smile on his face.

As suddenly as her feelings had changed the night before, Sara instantly needed to know what had happened. She'd been mutually seducing and being seduced by the woman she had been denying her attraction to for the last three years when the male object of her diverted passion walked in on the pair of them. There were all sorts of outcomes, any or all of which could have been disastrous. Leaving Catherine to spend the night with Gil, flaunting Catherine in front of Gil, a quick ménage a trois with her boss and her co-worker, running from both of them and picking someone else up. What had she done?

In her panic Sara still didn't do the smart thing and look or ask, she fled back into her memories, trying desperately to skip forward to a time where she could remember the resolution.

Snippets of conversation between the three of them came back.

"I'm sorry for bluntly saying no like that" from Gil.

"Maybe I should leave you two alone?" from Catherine.

"I want you both to stay" in her voice.

"I need you Cat, not him, please?" pleading in her voice. Sara tried to slow the rush through her jumbled memories of the later part of the night, to focus in on that moment and what went around it. The memories expanded, filling her mind's eye once more.

Catherine was standing up, picking up her purse and looking like she wanted to leave. Gil wasn't with them, and although Sara couldn't see him she knew he was in the bathroom. He'd been apologetic and then clumsily flirtatious. She'd not responded, didn't think she'd encouraged him, but from the look on Catherine's face it was obvious that she thought Sara was about to turn back to Gil for the comfort and love she'd craved for so long. Sara knew that would never work, not now she knew Cath returned her feelings of desire. Hence the pleading in her voice:

"I need you Cat, not him, please?"

"Are you sure? I want you too, but I don't want to be some rebound one-nighter. It might not be forever, but I want that shot at forever with you. I can wait until you're sure that's what you want before we do anything we might regret. Even if that means waiting whilst you're making sure that Gil isn't the one you want. I'd rather do that than just have tonight and you regret it, or try to forget it in the morning." Catherine rambled in reply.

Sara looked up, made her mind up. "I've been attracted to you since the first moment I saw you Cat, you just blew me away. The fights are because I care about you too much to let myself show it. Chasing Gil and Hank; that was because they were there, and I could never admit how I felt about you. They weren't you. Chasing male co-workers is bad enough, but chasing another woman, well I've been there, done that and got the scars to show for it. I couldn't risk it again. If you still want me knowing that, I will come with you now and will do everything I can to make it work forever. It's your choice Cat. You can have me now, with that commitment if you want?"

During this outpouring of emotion Catherine's face had changed so many times Sara wasn't sure what was going on. The final look was one of horror though, and Sara could feel the tears returning, stronger than ever before. Catherine was going to reject her too, twice in one night was more than her new Carpe Diem attitude could bear.

Just as the tears started to fall she heard a movement behind her. A deep voice said, "I never knew you felt that way, but after hearing that I'm not going to be second best. I'll see you in work tomorrow, both of you." Gil's arm reached over the seat, grabbed his coat and then departed from Sara's blurry field of vision. Sara sat in shock, had she really just told her boss that he was second best? Had she just outed herself and Catherine to him? And what would Catherine think now? The tears continued to flow, but her cheeks burned with embarrassment. Catherine might very well never talk to her again either. Sara wished the ground would open and swallow her up.

Her mortification was interrupted, again with the touch of a small but beautiful hand on her shoulder. She looked up into Catherine's face, struggling to focus through the tears that were still falling. Catherine was smiling at her, leaning in to kiss her, pulling her to her feet and saying that she loved her. Sara could remember it all now. The taxi ride home, back to her apartment. The frenzied shedding of clothes as they undressed, eager to see each other naked for the first time. Exploring each other's bodies with eyes, fingers, tongues, lips. The explosion into simultaneous orgasms at the end of the night, then curling up together, whispering endearments and expressions of love.

The person still holding her tight was Catherine. Just Catherine.

Sara relaxed, felt the press of Catherine's breasts against her back, felt the stirring as the strawberry-blonde woke and leaned forward into Sara's field of view, kissing her and saying "Good morning lover."

***