Title: Life Is A Highway
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Gil Grissom
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Gil Grissom, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Greg leaned back against the tree trunk near where he and Gil had spread out their picnic blanket, watching his boyfriend put the basket with the dishes in it back into his car. Gil had refused to let him do anything; he didn't want Greg moving around too much.

He personally thought the older man was being far too protective of him, but he wasn't going to argue. He had already long since discovered that arguing with Gil about anything would only result with him being on the losing end of the argument.

He had to force himself not to raise a hand to his chest to feel the thick bandage under his sweater; he was still healing from the surgery three days before. The doctors had told him that he would be sore for a while, but other than that, there would be no side effects.

Greg closed his eyes, taking a deep breath of the fresh air. This would probably be the last time they could go out for a picnic in the park; it would be too cold before too much longer, and the two of them had gotten into the habit of spending their afternoons sleeping.

It was amazing how Gil had fallen back into the habits of a night owl, though his boyfriend insisted that he had always been one to stay up all night and sleep during the day. Greg was sure that Gil was adapting his lifestyle to fit with his job, and he was grateful for that.

There were times when it was still hard for him to believe that the dream he'd had for so long of being with Gil had finally come true; it felt as though he was living in a dream whenever Gil's arms were around him, whenever Gil kissed him and held him.

How long had he dreamed of having a life like this with the man he'd loved for so long? Ever since they'd first met, really, he mused, not opening his eyes. He had fallen for Gil right away, though he had spent all the time they'd worked together trying his best not to show it.

He'd done a good job of that, too. He had never given Gil any indication of how he felt when they were still working with each other -- and it was only now, a few years later, when Gil had finally decided to take the first step, that they had found each other.

He had been sure that Gil would always be the person he yearned for, and could never have. When was it that his dream had come true, and Gil had fallen in love with him? He didn't know exactly when that had happened, but it had to have been quite some time ago.

It was hard to believe that Gil had loved him for all this time, and that they had hidden their feelings from each other during all of the time that they had worked together. Greg regretted that they had gone down different paths, rather than revealing those feelings.

If they had just each had the courage to tell each other what they were feeling, then they could have been together for a long time now, Greg reflected, sighing softly. Gil would never have married Sara; that part of their lives would have been spent together, not apart.

Greg opened his eyes as he felt Gil sit down beside him, smiling at his boyfriend as Gil motioned to him to move forward a bit. When Greg did so, Gil sat down behind him, resting his back against the tree trunk and pulling Greg back to lean against the older man's chest.

"What are you thinking about?" Gil asked softly as he settled back against the tree trunk with Greg in his arms. "You looked awfully solemn sitting there. I thought you might be regretting that we came out here. You're not in pain, are you?"

Greg shook his head, smiling at Gil's question. "Even if I was hurting a little, I wouldn't regret being here with you," he said softly, resting his head against his boyfriend's shoulder. "This might be last chance we have to do this before it gets cold."

"Very true," Gil agreed, closing his eyes and sighing contentedly. "I'm glad we had a chance to do this. I'd just like to know what it was that was making you look so serious. You're not still worried about cancer, are you? You've been given a clean bill of health, Greg."

"It's not that," Greg told him, drawing in a deep breath and letting it out again slowly. "I was just thinking about how we wasted so much time when we could have been together. I wish we'd both just admitted how we felt about each other a long time ago."

"Ah, but if we had, then we wouldn't be the people we are now," Gil pointed out, brushing his lips against Greg's cheek. "Being together for so long might have made us complacent. Of course, it could have gone the other way, too, and only made us closer to each other. Who can say?"

Greg frowned, twisting slightly in Gil's embrace to look up at him. "You don't really think we'd have gotten complacent about being together if we had told each other how we felt back when we used to work together, do you?" he asked, his tone anxious.

Gil shook his head, raising a hand to stroke Greg's hair. "Of course I don't," he said, his voice soft and soothing. "But there's no doubt that we would be very different people now if we had been together for all of that time. Our relationship would be different."

Greg nodded, sighing softly and looking down. "I know our relationship should be .... closer than it is," he murmured, his voice unsteady. "In the physical sense, I mean. But I-I'm not ready for that yet, Gil. It's not that I don't trust you, it's just --"

"Shhh," Gil answered, placing a finger against Greg's lips to stop the flow of words. "I understand, Greg. I don't expect you to fall into my arms after what was done to you. I'm willing to wait, and I'm not going to push you. We'll become lovers when you're ready for it, not before."

"I wish I was ready for it now," Greg whispered, blinking back the tears that had risen to his eyes. "But I can't think about m-making love without getting all panicky. I trust you not to hurt me, b-but ...." His voice trailed off, replaced by a gulp that was almost a sob.

"You will be," Gil said softly, not wanting to let Greg give in to any sort of melancholy. "You need to keep in mind that life is a highway, Greg. Sometimes we take wrong turns, and we stray from the road that we're meant to be on. But if we're lucky, then we always find our way back."

"Is that what you think happened with us?" Greg asked him, his voice subdued. "Do you think that we just took a wrong turn when you left the crime lab and married Sara? It's not that I blame you for doing that -- I just wonder what you think of the roads we've taken."

"I think we've made some mistakes along the way," Gil told him with a sigh. "Yes, I think that marrying Sara was a mistake. I cared for her, but I've never loved her the way that I love you. There's such a huge difference between caring for someone and being in love with them."

"I know it sounds selfish, but I'm glad that your road brought you back to me," Greg murmured, settling back against Gil's chest and resting his head against the older man's shoulder. "If it hadn't, I think I would have spent the rest of my life alone."

"I don't think that," Gil said softly, his fingers softly playing along Greg's jawline. "You're too beautiful for that, Greg. So many people want you -- and I think you would have eventually settled down with one of them. You'd have found somebody."

Greg shook his head firmly, his dark eyes serious as he turned his head to meet Gil's gaze. "No, I wouldn't have. If I couldn't have you, then I wouldn't have been with anybody. I might have had some one-night stands, but I wouldn't have loved anybody else."

"I don't know about that," Gil told him, sounding dubious. "I don't think you're the kind of person to pine away for unrequited love, Greg. And I wouldn't have wanted you to do that. You deserve more -- and I would want you to be happy, even if you weren't with me."

"I don't think I could have ever been really happy without you," Greg murmured, turning slightly in Gil's embrace and resting his head against the older man's chest as Gil's arms tightened around him. "I'd have always felt like there was something missing in my life. Namely, you."

"Somehow, I always knew that I would find my way back to you," Gil told him, his voice husky with emotion. "Even when I tried to be happy with Sara, you were always in the back of my mind. It just took me a while to realize that I had to go after what I wanted."

"I was always here waiting for you," Greg whispered, raising a hand to cup Gil's cheek. "I"m glad you came back. If you hadn't, then I'd still be alone -- and I'd still be thinking about you and wishing that we were together. Now I don't have to wish any more."

"I'm glad that my path led me back to you," Gil answered, a smile on his lips. "I won't to let that highway lead me away from you again. I'm right where I want to be, Greg. You should never doubt that, not for one second. I think that any road I had taken would have led me here."

Greg lifted his face to Gil's, their gazes locking; no more words needed to be spoken between them. As his boyfriend's lips met his, Greg couldn't help thinking that if life was a highway, then he hoped that he and Gil would always be driving down that road side by side.

***