Title: Look My Way
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Steve McGarrett
Fandom: CSI: Vegas/Hawaii Five-0
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Steve McGarrett, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Greg sat on the beach, staring out at the waves and resting his chin on his knees. He wasn't seeing the panorama in front of him, however; the only thing he could focus on was the man who he hadn't been able to get ouf of his mind since they'd met.

He'd spent the last two days getting to know how the 5-0 team worked, and he didn't think that he'd have a problem fitting in with them. They were a good team who knew what they were doing, and they all seemed to accept him as a new member.

The only problem with the situation was that he couldn't keep his eyes off of Steve. Whenever the leader of their team was anywhere near him, he felt lightheaded, short of breath, dizzy and completely unfocused, like a kid with his first crush.

He hadn't felt like this since he'd first met Nick Stokes when he was at the Vegas crime lab, Greg thought wistfully. That had been the beginning of a long relationship that hadn't panned out; Nick hadn't been able to reconcile himself to being in love with a man.

They'd hidden their feelings for each other for a long time, but Greg had finally gotten tired of having to do so. The final straw had come when Nick had told him that he didn't want to come clean about their relationship to anyone -- not even to his family.

He had made a lot of excuses, but the truth had been that he was ashamed to be with a man. He wanted everyone to think that he was straight -- which, for Nick, meant "normal." Greg hadn't been able to live with being anyone's dirty little secret.

So he had thought it best to make a clean break, to get away from Vegas to a place where Nick couldn't follow him and try to talk him into staying in a relationship that was never going to be open and honest. He wasn't going to live his life in that way.

Greg sighed, closing his eyes and letting the sound of the surf envelop him. He had thought that coming here to Hawaii would open up an entirely new personal life to him, and he'd sworn to himself that he was going to be a free agent for a while and play the field.

And of course, what did he do but fall in love with not only someone he worked with -- but the man who happened to be his boss, as well. Sighing, he shook his head, annoyed with himself. Of all the people to fall head over heels for, he had to pick that one.

But he couldn't control his emotions, he told himself. If he was attracted to someone, he couldn't simply turn that off and act as if the attraction didn't exist. He'd spent years struggling with doing just that, trying to pull himself away from Nick.

He'd told himself that he wouldn't do that here, that if he felt attracted to someone, he would be upfront and honest about those feelings. But he hadn't expected to be hit with such a strong attraction to the man who was his boss, the one man he shouldn't get involved with.

Unless he was horribly mistaken, that attraction was returned. He hadn't given any indication that he knew Steve was watching him throughout the last two days, but he'd seen the covert glances coming his way. He knew that he was being observed.

The looks that Steve had been giving him had nothing to do with how well he was doing his job. Greg knew those kinds of looks all too well; Nick had thrown them at him when they had been working together. They were looks of interest, unable to be held back.

He had been doing the same thing all day, and it was inevitable that there had been times when their eyes met. Greg had always been the first to look away; he didn't want Steve to think that he was interested. It might cost him this job if his feelings came to light.

How much longer would he be able to work with Steve and keep his feelings buried? He'd managed to do that with Nick for a few years; his feelings hadn't come out front and center until he'd been training to be a CSI and move out of the lab.

When those feelings had finally been acknowledged, it had felt as though a huge weight was lifted away from his shoulders. Now, that weight was squarely back in place, and it seemed heavier than ever. It wasn't a weight that he wanted to deal with again.

But if Steve wasn't looking his way, if there was no current of interest running between the two of them that seemed to sizzle with untapped electricity, wouldn't he be disappointed? He wanted those looks, wanted to know that Steve might feel the same.

If he did, then it would be a lot easier to let his own feelings show -- even though he wasn't sure that he would take the plunge to become involved with someone he had to work with again. He'd been burned too badly the first time; those memories still stung painfully.

Just thinking of all the plans that he had made for his future with Nick could still bring tears to his eyes. He had thought that they would spend the rest of their lives together, that they would be proud to be with each other -- not that Nick would want to keep him a secret.

He should have known that was the way things would turn out when Nick had wanted to be so secretive about everything concerning their relationship, Greg thought with a sigh. He couldn't have spent the rest of his life like that; it wouldn't have been fair to either of them.

The longing looks that he'd sent and received with Nick were nothing compared to the way that Steve had been looking at him, though. Nick's looks had been secretive, furtive. Steve's were concealed, but when their eyes had met, nothing was left to the imagination.

Greg could read Steve's glances like an open book. He could tell that he was wanted -- and he was sure that Steve knew he felt the same. The only problem now was how they were going to bring those feelings out into the open without jeopardizing their working relationship.

He would have to talk with Steve about this -- and soon. He couldn't go on simply hoping that Steve was going to look his way, that their glances would meet and hold, and that everything around them would just disappear and leave their path clear of obstacles.

There no no use in kidding himself, Greg thought with a sigh. If this got out into the open, his new job with the 5-0 team could be at risk. And that was something he didn't want to deal with -- so he would have to keep his feelings under wraps, at least for the present.

What would the future bring for them? He couldn't help but wonder if Steve's interest was only piqued by someone new, and if it would die off as quickly as it had seemed to spring to life. Maybe his own feelings would do the same after they'd worked together for a while.

But Greg didn't think so. He was fascinated by Steve, in a way that he almost didn't want to admit. There was something about the man that was mesmerizing; whenever those piercing blue eyes glanced at him, Greg wanted to drop everything and just gaze into them.

If only those eyes would look his way more often! He'd noticed it a few times, but he couldn't help wishing that their glances would catch and hold, and that there would be an understanding between them that had no need to be spoken aloud.

That was what he had always wanted with Nick -- but it hadn't happened. Nick had been too adamant about keeping what they shared a secret -- and he hadn't been able to live a lie. It was better that they had parted, since Nick couldn't accept and embrace who he was.

The only way to be sure that Steve was interested was to ask him about it. But he couldn't do that at work -- so hopefully, he could come up with some way to talk with the other man alone. And if he was lucky, things would progress from there.

He wasn't going to risk losing his job, or to have his own interest made public before he knew the lay of the land, Greg told himself. First, he was going to find out what the prevailing attitude to his sexual orientation would be -- and then he would act accordingly.

If he discovered that his colleagues would have a problem with him being gay and dating Steve, then he would have to set his sights on someone else, he thought, regret sweeping over him. He wasn't going to be a dirty little secret. Not here. Not again.

But if Steve was interested, and if, as Greg hoped, he was looking for more than just a brief fling .... His spirits rose and soared to the sky as he lifted his head to take in the view around him, the beach, the sun, the sand, the waves rolling in to the shore.

The next time Steve looked his way, he would meet that look with one of his own -- and hope that Steve would respond to it favorably. If he did, then they could move forward -- and if he didn't, then he would have to push his feelings for the other man as far away from his mind as he could.

But he didn't think that would be the case. Greg smiled as he got to his feet, heading back to the lobby of the building he'd rented an apartment in. He was fairly sure that before long, he and Steve would be sharing a lot more with each other than just those longing looks.

***