Title: If You Were Mine To Lose
Author: Jaxson K.
Pairing: one-sided Nick/Greg
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Greg couldn't decide what he should do. Part of him desperately wanted to tell Nick how he felt, but the other part was afraid to because he didn't want to lose Nick as a friend. He didn't know if telling Nick now would make any difference anyway. Greg was laying across the bed doodling on a notepad while trying to decide what to do when it came to him. He would write Nick a letter telling him how he felt. Then all he would have to deal with would be the fall-out once the letter was read.


 

Greg thought about it long and hard and then put pen to paper. It wasn't long before he had everything the way he wanted it, and as he sat reading what he had written, he was trying to imagine what Nick's reaction would be.....


 

Dear Nick,


 

I'm not quite sure why I decided to do this in this way, but here it is. I have something I really have to say, but I have to admit that I am too afraid to tell you face to face, so here goes...

Nick, I've had a “thing” for you for the past two years now, but I've been afraid that you wouldn't return my feelings. Nick, if you were mine to lose, I'd do my level best to make you happy. I know that in all the years we've known each other, you've never really gave me much thought. Just a friend is all I've ever been to you, but I'd be willing to let you break my heart for just one memory.


 

If I could be with you just one time, then I'd know what Heaven felt like. Nick, I know we'd be so good together, or at least I think we would. Let me know.....

Greg


 

Greg slipped into the locker room at work the next night to slip the note into Nick's locker. To say he was nervous was an understatement. He made his way to the break room for assignments and it was all he could do to be in the same room with Nick. Once assignments were given, Greg cleared out as quickly as he could to go to his crime scene. The shift proved to be fairly uneventful, and Greg finished early. Since Ecklie had been on a rampage about overtime, Catherine was inclined to let Greg go early.


 

Greg woke to the sound of someone knocking on his door. He considered ignoring it, but whoever it was sounded rather insistent. He made his way to the living room and peeked through the spyhole. Nick !!! “Oh, shit!” Greg thought as he opened the door.....


 

Greg invited Nick in and Nick explained that he couldn't stay long. He told Greg that he had come by regarding the letter he found in his locker, and he wanted to talk about it with Greg.


 

“Nick, I'm really sorry about that...I, um,.....”

“Greg, there's nothing to be sorry for.....”

“There's not?”

“No, not really....I'm flattered, but I don't swing that way.”

“Shit, Nick, I never should have said anything.....”

“G, I'm not angry. I just thought I needed to acknowledge how you feel, but also let you know that there's no chance that anything will happen. I also want you to know that I still consider you my friend. I hope my turning you down doesn't cause a problem.”

“Maybe not.....I just need some time to think about this......”

“By the way, I also came by to ask if you would be the best man at mine and Jeanine's wedding.”

“You're getting married???”

“Yeah! You remember Jeanine, don't you?”

“I thought you two broke up....”

“Not a chance...listen, bud, I gotta go, but I'll see you at work tonight, okay?”

“Sure.....”


 

Greg waited until Nick drove away before he closed the front door. He felt as though his heart had been ripped out, stomped on, and put back. He went to the phone and called into work saying he had an emergency matter he needed to take care of and would be back as soon as he could. After doing that, he fell across the bed crying his eyes out. He wondered how he could have been so foolish. Now nothing was ever going to be the same.....not ever.....


 


 

THE END