Title: Love: Lost and Found
By: cjacsifan
Pairing: Sofia/Sara
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: CSI is owned by CBS and Jerry Bruckheimer
Summary: Sofia finds love, loses it, then finds it again
Spoilers: None
A/N: This is an AU story about how Sofia and Sara first met...My thanks to my muse Marie for the Title...Story is from Sofia's P.O.V

***

I couldn't believe my eyes when I walked into the Curtis's home and I saw the most beautiful girl I had ever seen and her name was Sara Sidle; Oh please forgive me allow me to introduce myself my name is Sofia Denton, I'm 13 years old and I'm a foster child.

The Curtis's; Joseph and Gloria are a nice couple that have no children so they decided to adopted a couple, myself and the aforementioned beauty Sara Sidle, how she became an orphan no one knows but the Curtis's told me on the way home that she is kind of shy and doesn't talk much so 'try and make a good situation out of it if you can' they told me.

As for myself I was orphaned about a year ago when my mother who was a police officer in Oakland was killed in the line of duty, my father was never really in the picture; he and my now late mom divorced when I was 2 years old and neither of them had any siblings and that's why I was put into the system...Okay enough about me now I will begin my story.

 As I said the first person I saw after being brought to my new home was Sara, a 15 year old brunette goddess with a smile that lights up a room and a gap between her two front teeth makes her that much more adorable.

"Sara, this is Sofia...Sofia this is Sara," Mrs. Curtis says introducing us, she also told me on the way home that I don't have to call either of them mom or dad if I didn't feel comfortable yet.

"Nice to meet you Sara," I say to the brunette as a reach my hand out to shake her hand.

"Nice to finally have someone to talk to...Nice to meet you too Sofia," Sara says taking my hand in hers and shaking it; her skin is so soft I almost forget to let go.

"Sara why don't you show Sofia where your bedroom is...""Yes, Ma'am" Sara says as she ascends the stairs and I follow.

"Why don't you call Mrs. Curtis 'mom' or Mr. Curtis 'dad', that's what they said I could do when I get more comfortable around them."

"That's because I'm not really comfortable around strangers...especially adults," Sara says in an tone that seemed like she was frightened.

"But you seemed comfortable around me and I'm a stranger," I state as a question more than a statement.

"That's because you aren't an adult...please can we just drop it."

I was hurt at Sara's annoyed tone, I haven't been here an hour and I'm already on her bad side.

A minute later Sara turns to me, with a puppy dog look on her face, "I'm sorry Sofia, I didn't mean to snap at you it's just that this is my third foster home is four years and it's hard for me to make friends because it seems for some reason no one wants me..." Sara then begins to cry.

"That's okay Sara, I know you didn't mean it," I say as I hug her until she stops crying.

"Thanks Sofia," she says and then to my surprise and delight she kisses me on the cheek and I feel like I'm in heaven.

I cautiously put my arm around her waist and even though I am a few years younger we are about the same height; to my surprise she hugs me tighter as we enter our bedroom, which takes up the whole upstairs.

"This is my side as you can tell," Sara shows me her side of the bedroom and I find it curious that instead of posters of movie stars and musicians she has star charts and a poster of Einstein; she notices me looking at her decor and trying not to laugh, "What can I tell you I'm a science geek."

I hug her as tight as I can and say, "You're not a science geek, you're unique."

"Thanks Sofia...oh and check out this closet," as we go into the biggest closet I think I've ever seen again I can tell which is her side; all her clothes are very dark shades of blue, black, gray and brown.

"I was never really into dressing all that girly," she says as if she can tell what I was going to say next,we then hear Mr. Curtis calling us for lunch and head downstairs and to the kitchen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the first day went off without a hitch, then it was bedtime.  It was about 3 in the morning when I heard someone mumbling, I look over to Sara's bed and see her thrashing about and punching the air as if she were punching at something or someone.

I get out of my bed and am nearly by Sara's when she starts screaming and I rush to her side, hug her tight and whisper calming words into her ear, which is something I learned at the orphanage because I had bad nightmares about my mothers' death.

Mr. and Mrs. Curtis come running but I tell them everything is fine and send them back to their room, after they are gone I try to get Sara to tell me about the nightmare.

"I'm okay Sofia, you go back to bed...I'll be alright."

"No Sara you are not alright you were having a nightmare now please let me help you...tell me your nightmare."

Sara then sits with her back against her headboard and begins to tell me about the reason she was in foster care; Her mother killed her father after she found him trying to rape Sara while in a drunken stupor, this after years of mental and physical abuse at the hands of both her parents.

It's now me that needs comforting as I cry tears of anger and pain for Sara, "It's okay Sofia, I wish I never told you this," Sara says angrily, but she's angry with herself for letting her secret out.

"It's not okay and never will be okay for a child to have to go through something that awful," I tell her through my tears, Sara calms me down and we fall asleep in each other's arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sara's nightmares became less frequent and she attributed it to me sleeping with her after a nightmare because in her words 'You protect me from my past' and over time we find ourselves falling in love with each other, but being teens heavy petting is as far as we get in the 'love making' department.

We would come home from school about the same time and if neither of the Curtis's were home we'd go upstairs and make out on Sara's bed, then there was that one time about six months after we began our 'romance' when Mrs. Curtis came home early from work.

"What in the name of heaven is going on here," WE GOT CAUGHT, both of us naked from the waist up.

We quickly put our shirts back on forgetting our bras, "I'm waitung for an answer Sara,...Well."

"Well...Ma'am it's like this..." Sara tried to explain and failing miserably.

"I had heard from Child Services you were a bad seed and now I see it for myself...I am going to call them first thing tomorrow morning and get you placed in another home."

"You...you can't do that Mrs. Curtis." I spoke up

"And why not..."

"We love each other..."

"Sofia what you were doing was wrong...Sara probably put you up to it, Sara I suggest you start packing...Sofia you are helping me with dinner, come on."

The next morning came all too soon and Sara was outside waiting with her belongings in two suitcases and a few paper bags waiting for Child Services to pick her up, once they car pulled up and the social worker got out and began leading Sara to the car, I ran out of the house before anyone could stop me ran up to Sara kissed her as deeply as I could, hugged her tight, "I love you Sara Sidle."

"I love you too Sofia Denton," see says just before getting in the car and it drives away and Sara Sidle, the first person I ever fell in love with was gone.

***

"Sofia Curtis please come down, your graduation starts in one hour and it takes 20 minutes just to get to your school," my mom yells to me.

"I'm coming mom I just have to pin my mortar board in my hair," I tell mom as I look in the mirror trying to get this stupid thing pinned into the french braid my mother had the hairdresser give me.

Yes, it's me again Sofia Denton, but since the last time I saw you alot has changed; My parents and I have moved to Boulder, Colorado, yes Joseph and Gloria Curtis adopted me that's why the difference in my last name and yes we moved to Colorado, probably because mom and dad were afraid that I would try and run away and look for Sara,which was tempting but they gave me a good home so I felt I owed that to them, but they didn't drive her completely from my life, until one day.

You see, Sara and I would keep in contact over emails, that was until mom caught me and had the computer disconnected; the last thing Sara wrote to me was that she was in her Junior year in Harvard and was going after a Physics degree; God I love that science nerd.

"You look wonderful," mom says as I come down the stairs.

"Will Andrew be at the graduation?" dad asks me.

"No dad he won't we broke up last week..."

"Oh please don't tell me that you're still hung up on that Sara girl even after all this time?"

"Yes I am...as a matter of fact,today is not only my graduation day but I am also telling you this I AM A LESBIAN...Andrew was a close friend but he knew nothing would happen between us and he was okay with that."

"You can't be serious...you're only 18," My mother says indignantly.

"I am very serious, I can vote, I can fight in a war if I choose to enlist and I feel I have the right to love whoever I damn well please...Besides after this summer I will be going away to college anyway and there is nothing you can do about it."

Both mom and dad seemed defeated, "It's not that I don't love you both, I do very much...but don't you think it's about time you let me live my life on my own terms."

"She is right Gloria...our baby has grown up."

"You're right Joseph she has, come here Sofia," my mom says as the three of us hug and head out the door to my commencement ceremony.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the commencement ceremony ends and I am hugging all my friends I look out in the distance, "No it couldn't have been her."

"Who are you talking about?" Andy asks me.

"Remember that girl I told you about...the one I met when I first was taken to my Mom and Dad's house."

"You mean that Sara girl you were in love with?"

"That's her why would she be here?"

"Well like you she probably looked you up on the Internet."

"You would have thought by now she would have met someone new and forgotten about me."

"You mean like you forgot about her?"

Meanwhile as a solitary figure gets back into the cab waiting for her, she whispers, "Congratulations Sofia...I Love You."

***

"Well look at you Miss detective," My dad says as I show him the gold badge of the Boulder Police Department detective division, he hugs me tight.

Mom and Dad had a little trepidation when I told them that when I finally made up my mind for a college major it was Criminal Justice, but after saying it was something I wanted to do for my birth mother, they immediately understood my reasoning; and of course like any set of parents they worried about me and even tried to talk me out of becoming a police officer because they didn't want to lose their 'little girl' as dad still calls me.

Of course I am happy about my getting my 'gold' as the people in the department call it but something, no rather someone is missing; Sara.  Oh, I had girlfriends in college, even brought some of them home to meet mom and dad, who were after I told them point blank about my sexuality were stunned but in the end, very supportive.  They mentioned that all of my girlfriends looked alike; all were tall, brown eyed, and had brown hair; maybe they didn't want to mention it in front of my girlfriends at the time or maybe they had just blocked her out of their minds, but all of my college girlfriend could have been Sara's twin sister.

It has been a long road to this moment in time; the four years at Mountain View State University in Idaho, then the year at the Boulder police academy, and then the three years as a uniformed officer here in Boulder; but thanks to my mom, dad, Captain Grayson who has been my commander for these past three years, not to mention all the instructors at the academy I would never had made it to this day.

"So it looks like The Boulder Police Department is going to be your home for a long time?" Captain Grayson says as he congratulates me.

"Well, I'm going to see how it goes...You wouldn't deny me a chance at a better offer if one should arise..now would you Cap?" I say and use the nickname he got during his years of service on the force.

"Of course not, but we would hate to see you go...but you do what is right for you and makes you happy."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The chance I had told 'Cap' about came to me one evening while I was looking on the Internet, I saw the listing on the Internet one evening and thought how interesting it would be to live and work in 'Sin City'.  So I called the number on the ad, sent in my resume and was accepted about a week later.

Of course my mom and dad were a bit surprised at my anxiousness to move, but I told them that I had lived nearly my whole life in Boulder and I wanted to see what other opportunities were out there, again after some consideration they said they were proud of me.

So here I am riding in a taxi heading towards Las Vegas Police Department and have an appointment with a Captain Jim Brass of the Detectives Division, the taxi stops and I get out and make my way to the information desk, "Captain Brass's office please?"

"And you are?" the receptionist asks me.

"I'm Sofia Curtis, I have an appointment for an interview concerning the open detectives position," I tell the receptionist as I show her the letter I got in the mail.

Kelly, the receptionist shows me to the office and I sit in the outer office until I see an middle aged, balding man and from the picture I saw in the wall I know it is Captain Brass, I see him talking to someone; a female that looks somewhat familiar..

"Captain Brass pleasure to meet you, I'm Sofia Curtis, I am here for my interview." I say after he is finished with his other conversation and the young woman leaves.

"Oh yes, Detective Curtis, please forgive me for not being here but I had to question a suspect with one of the CSI's here in Las Vegas."

"CSI what's that?" I ask trying not to sound like a complete idiot.

"CSI stands for Crime Scene Investigation...in Boulder where I see you are from I believe It's called SID.."

The lightbulb finally goes on in my head, "Right, the Scene Investigations Division, sorry about that I'm a bit nervous."

"Don't be, we are all one big happy police family," Captain Brass says as we begin the interview.

The interview goes better than planned, and from all indications I might have a job but Captain Brass says he has a few more interviews today and then he will let me know, "May I ask a question Captain?"

"Sure Sofia go right ahead...and by the way my name is Jim."

I smile at his allowing me to be so familiar with him, "Okay, Jim who was that I saw you walking with before the interview...because she looked familiar."

"Oh that was the CSI that I had the interrogation with...her name is Sara Sidle."

Oh my God, I found her after all these years I found Sara Sidle again...I just hope she remembers me.

***

I can't believe I am finally finished with all the stuff necessary to become a Las Vegas P.D. detective; the interview with Captain Brass, then the ones with the sheriif and undersheriff, then meeting my fellow detectives, getting my LVPD photo ID, and last but not least my new shield.  All the while hoping I would get to see Sara again and her remembering me.

"Hey Sofia, you want to come with me?" Captain Brass asks me.

"Where are we going Captain?" I ask like an idiot because I was too busy thinking about whether or not Sara Sidle would remember me to hear what he was actually saying.

"Sofia, first of all it's Jim...and second we are going to meet the CSI overnight shift team...Sara, the CSI I was talking to when you came in, is a member of that team."

"Okay Jim, you drive being that I really don't know my way round the city yet."

"No problem...let's go."

Fifteen minutes later Jim and I are pulling into the parking lot of the LVPD CSI Lab and I am getting as nervous as a cat in a dog show...of course Jim noticed it.

"Sofia don't be nervous, these people are really friendly...the only thing you might need to worry about is Grissom's spider collection.", I nearly get whiplash as I turn my head to look at him as he laughs at my reaction.

"You're kinding right?" and to my horror he shakes his head no.

As we enter the lab I can hear a commotion down the hall, "Sounds like everyone is in the break room," Jim says as he leads the way.

We walk into breakroom and the noise stops as everyone looks up to Jim and I, "Ladies and Gents, I'd like you to meet Sofia Curtis the newest LVPD detective."

First person I meet is Gil Grissom, shift leader; he seems like a very good guy, he's quiet and very business like, "Nice to meet you Sofia,"

Next is Catherine Willows, Grissom's second in command and from the looks of it the 'Queen Bee' of the bunch, "Welcome to Vegas, detective."

I then meet Nick Stokes and Warrick Brown, Nick is the friendly country boy of the group and has a brother like quality; Warrick has a ease about him that helps me relax.

I turn and then I'm face to face with the love of my life; Sara Sidle, who gives me one of those 'You look familiar but I can't remember where I know you from' looks, "Nice to meet you Sofia, I think you're gonna like it here." she says with a smile and again I am captivated by that cute gap tooth grin of hers.

"Thank you all very much."

"So how do you like our fair city so far?" Warrick asks me.

"Not bad, the only problem is...I have yet to find a place to live and my stuff is still on route from Colorado."

"No problem I have an extra room in my apartment you can use, if you don't mind using a pull out sofa for a little while." Sara says to me.

"Wow, Miss Anti-social actually trying to be nice to someone."

I was about to pounce on the red headed hag when Sara spoke up for herself, "Well Catherine you only give out what you get from others."

Looking around the room I could tell I wasn't the only one who was happy to see Catherine get what was coming to her; Nick and Grissom aso were trying to hide smiles as Catherine huffed and stomped out of the break room to who cares where, "Thank you Sara, I really appreciate the offer...I'll have Jim drop me off here after shift."

"No it's probably better that I pick you up from the Police Station after shift."

"I'll be waiting...it was nice to meet you all hopefully I will get to know you all alot better.", I tell eceryone before I follow Brass out, 'especially you Sara' I think to myself as I follow him out to his car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Five hours later and I am again nervous because Sara is picking me up and I am going to be with her at her place, I see her pull up and I get in her car, "Thanks again Sara for this," I tell her as I put the bag I brough with me in her backseat.

"No problem and I'm sorry about Catherine's pissy attitude, she is a great criminalist, even if she walks around the lab like she's the queen most of the time and can be a pain in the ass at times too."

"How do you deal with her...if that were me i'd have slammed her on her skinny ass long ago." 

"Well most of the time we only talk when we are on a case together which only happens once in a while..so tell me about yourself." Sara says pushing aside the subject of work for the day.

I tell her everything about me; even the things I would hope she remembered, and I think I see a glimmer of rememberance when I mention about my mom and dad...I then ask her about her life and she tells me everything she did that day long ago when we professed our love for each other and she tells me that I remind her of that girl and she wonders how that girl is doing now...If she only knew...she then prcedes to talk about her life after she left the Curtis house.

We get to her apartment complex and we walk up to Sara's apartment and as we walk in I can tell she hasn't changed much; black leather furniture and tan walls, I then make my way to her extra room which will be mine until I can find a place.  It is there I notice that she is giving me the same look she did at the lab.

"Like what you see...oh god Sara, that sounded like a come on I'm sorry." I say as aI feel a blush creeping up my neck to my face.

"Not to worry there's a guy Greg that works at the lab that is trying to get me to date him since I moved here...he however is not my type."

"Play your cards right detective and you may find out...oh God now I sound like I'm giving you a come on." Sara says as a cute blush reaches her cheeks.

"No need to apologize I was just returning the favor...so what's for dinner I'm hungry." I say hoping I'm not too forward.

"Well I am a vegetarian, and I'll tell you why later on, how about Chinese, there's a great place down the street from here."

"Sounds good and for you allowing me to stay here I'm buying and I want no arguments from you."

"Yes Ma'am," Sara jokes as she gets the take out menu out of a kitchen cupboard and we look it over and then order our meals, while we wait Sara goes to the spare room and gets the pull out bed ready for me.

 Dinner arrives and the food is very good; Shrimp Egg Foo Yung for me and Veggie Egg Foo Yung for Sara.  After dinner, I can see Sara is getting sleepy so I tell her to go to bed but I am not tired so decide to watch some TV, after about 30 minutes I hear a blood curdling scream and run into Sara's room.

"Sara honey, wake up you're having a nightmare..please honey wake up it's me Sofia."

She wakes up and apologizes for scaring her, "That's okay Sara, what was your dream about?"

She reluctantly tells me and I say, "I was glas I was here to protect to from your past."

Sara looks at me as if she has seen a ghost, "Oh my God, it can't be...I only said that to one person...her name was Sofia Denton, are you her?"

"Yes Sara, it's me Sofia, as I told you I was adopted and it was by the Curtis's...God since you left all I've ever thought about was finding you and loving you once again...is there a chance for us?" I ask as tears fall from my eyes.

"Sofia ever since I left you. I too have been wondering about you and now that you are here I can't tell you how happy I am to have you back in my life...Yes Sofia, there is a chance for us...I loved you then, but most importantly I never stopped loving you...I love you Sofia, you are my past...my present and my future."

"Sara Sidle I love you too...you are my past...my present and most definately my future," with that we fall blissfully asleep in each other's arms.

***