Title: Love Returned
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Gil Grissom
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Rating: PG-13
Table: Un-themed 6, mission_insane Prompt: 10, Unrequited
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Gil Grissom, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.***
Greg sighed and put down the book he'd been reading on the history of Vegas crime syndicates, stretching his arms above his head. It was time to take a break; he felt a little cramped from sitting on the couch, even though he was enjoying the book.
It wasn't something he did often, sitting quietly for hours just reading and relaxing. But since he'd become involved with Gil, reading was a pastime he was starting to enjoy a lot more -- and Gil had a vast collection of books on subjects that he was interested in.
So many things had changed for him since he'd gotten involved with Gil, Greg reflected, leaning his head back against the couch cushions and staring up at the ceiling. The biggest one was moving in with Gil, of course. That hadn't been something he'd thought would happen.
It had felt so natural, moving in here and becoming part of the fabric of Gil's life. It was as though the two of them belonged together, and always had -- even though he'd thought for so long that his feelings for Gil would always be unrequited.
Sometimes he still felt that this was all a dream, that he could snap his fingers and it would all end. That he would wake up in his bed back in his old apartment, with an empty vista stretching out in front of him, another day at work that seemed interminable because Gil wasn't there.
All of that had changed. He never had to feel that he didn't want to go in to work because Gi's presence wouldn't be there to brighten his day; he might not be able to see his boyfriend at work any more, but he knew that he'd be coming home to Gil.
He had the best of both worlds, really, Greg told himself with an inward smile. He had the job he loved, the job that he would never want to give up, and he had Gil, too. It had been a long and winding road to get here, but he finally had his heart's desire.
He would have definitely chosen another way for them to get together, he thought, pushing the images that crowded into his mind back and trying to ignore them. He didn't want to remember just what had happened for Gil to finally declare his feelings.
Gil was still insisting that he see a therapist, but Greg had resisted doing so. He had a hard enough time talking about what he'd been through to the man he loved, the person who was closest to him -- how could be discuss it with a complete stranger?
Maybe he would give in and take Gil's advice, he told himself. Maybe. But at the moment, he felt like he was getting along just fine without spilling his guts to some shrink. And he wasn't ready to let anyone into his head -- the only person who had that privilege was Gil.
He'd always been willing to let the older man delve into his mind, even when they'd first started working together. He could still remember just how he'd felt the first time he had seen Gil, the first time they had shaken hands when he'd first come to the Vegas crime lab.
He had fallen head over heels at first sight, Greg thought with a soft sigh. Well, maybe not right at first -- it had taken him a while to realize that he was in love, even though there had been a strong sexual attraction on his part from that very first meeting.
He had thought that his feelings would always be unrequited, that Gil could never possibly feel the same way about him. He'd thought that he would spend his entire life wanting Gil Grissom and knowing that he would never be able to have what his heart desired most.
But somehow, through some miracle of fate, Gil had felt the same way. And he'd apparently had those same feelings of desire and even love when they'd been working together, just as Greg had. They'd just never had the guts to admit as much to each other.
Why had they wasted so much time dancing around each other, both of them thinking that their feelings were unrequited and always would be? Greg sighed as he blinked up at the ceiling, wishing that their pasts could have been different.
If he'd just had the nerve to tell Gil how he felt, then they wouldn't have spent so much time apart; Gil wouldn't have married Sara and spent a few years feeling that he had to settle, rather than having what he really wanted. And he himself wouldn't have been so lonely.
He didn't want to think about all the time that had been wasted. Besides, it didn't really matter. Maybe the two of them had needed to grow and change before they could be together. Maybe they had needed to go through all that they had to appreciate each other.
As soon as the thought came into Greg's mind, he rejected it. He hadn't needed to be kidnapped and raped to know that he loved Gil and appreciated being with him. But that was what had brought Gil to him -- and what had prompted Gil to finally tell him how he felt.
It still stunned him that Gil had been nursing an unrequited love for him over all these years, just as he had for the other man. Gil Grissom loved him, had loved him for a long time. It was still hard for him to wrap his head around that fact sometimes.
But it was true. Greg couldn't help smiling at the thought; Gil loved him. He could say it over and over to himself, again and again, until the words jumbled in his mind and didn't seem like separate words any more. Gil loved him. Gil wanted to be with him.
It was like a magical mantra that he held close to his heart and repeated whenever he needed to lift his spirits. Just knowing that the words were true, that his love for Gil wasn't unrequited and never had been, could make his heart soar to the heavens and beyond.
Was there a word for that kind of happiness? Greg didn't think so. He was positive that no word had ever been invented to ever fully describe the happiness he felt when he was with Gil, the love that poured out of him towards the other man. A love that was returned in kind.
There had probably been all kinds of little signs as to how Gil had really felt about him when they were working together, indications of Gil's emotions that he'd never been able to speak aloud. And he had been blind. He hadn't noticed them.
He'd simply let himself go on believing that Gil couldn't possibly feel the same way he did, that he would never have the man he wanted. And if Gil hadn't decided to finally take the bull by the horns and talk to him about those feelings, he might never have known.
Would he himself have ever had the nerve to tell Gil how he felt, even once he knew that the man he loved was free and available? He couldn't answer that question. And he would never know, because he would never have to be the one to make that first move.
Gil had been the one with the courage to step forward, to declare how he felt. He'd been the one with the strength to break down the barriers that had stood between them -- and Greg would be forever grateful that he'd been brave enough to do so.
His love had never been unrequited, he told himself. Gil had always loved him, just as he had always loved Gil. It didn't matter that they'd been apart for so long. Now that they were together, they had the rest of their lives to make up for all of the lost time.
The thought brought another smile to his face as he stood up and stretched again, picking up his book and returning it to the shelf. Then, humming a soft tune under his breath, he went to the kitchen to start dinner, knowing that the man he loved would be home soon.***
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