Title: I Live To Love You
Author: Jaxson K.
Pairing: Nick/Gil
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I own nothing!

***

Gil decided it was time to start doing some Spring cleaning. He told Nick that he wanted to tackle some of the bigger chores on his days off, and also that he wanted to get rid of some of the clutter from the closets and cabinets.


 

Nick decided to start in the guest room closet. It was piled high with boxes, and some of these were not labeled. So, as he took boxes off the stack, some of them had to be opened and sorted so nothing important got thrown away.


 

It was in one of these boxes that Nick found some of Gil's personal papers and some really old journals. For the most part Nick ignored these, but there was one journal in the bottom of the box that caught his eye. There was really nothing special about it, but Nick felt that it was something he should look at.


 

For the most part the journal contained entries regarding cases Gil was working at the time, and every now and then Nick came across his name or the names of his co-workers regarding said cases. Toward the back of the journal Nick noticed his name came up more frequently regarding both work and personal entries.


 

After checking the date at the top of the page, Nick realized that this was around the time that he was struggling with his feelings for Gil, and was afraid to tell him. He also realized that Gil was having the same problem regarding him.....

…..the more I am around Nick, the more I want to tell him how I feel. I don't because I am afraid he will reject me, and I don't know that I could handle that.....


 

Nick knew that feeling all too well. He had almost the same thoughts when he thought of Gil. As he read further, he found part of a letter addressed to him from Gil that was never sent. When he read it, it brought tears to his eyes.....


 

…..can't you tell by the look I get in my eyes every time I see you? Do you feel the warmth each time your hand brushes mine? I promise that if you were to kiss me just one time, you would feel it there also. Even if you do reject me at least I know that I still know how to dream. Nicky, we could be so good together. I long for the day I can tell you these things in person. Hopefully, I'll have that chance. Just remember, I live to love you..... Gil


 

Nick put the journal back where it came from. When Gil came home, Nick made love to him like he never had before. When Gil asked what was up, Nick replied: “I'm livin' to love you, Peanut!”


 

END