Title: Misunderstandings/Confusion
By: lewis771750
Pairing: Cath/Sara

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NOTE: It will quickly become obvious why there are two stories here, and just why they have these titles I hope. Thanks to mrswoman for asking for the complimentary story - the pair work really well together IMO, and I wouldn't have done it if she hadn't asked.
Challenge: Misunderstandings/Confusion
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine, but I am taking them out to play if that's OK with everyone.
Spoilers: Season 3 and Upto 'Getting Off' I guess.
Words: 364

I feel hurt, dazed and confused. We've never had a totally exclusive relationship, although we are the only women for each other, but the occasional flings with men have always been just that. But this new guy, Chris, something's very different about him.

For a start he's the first one Catherine has seen more than once, making special arrangements that might be called a date in other circumstances. That hurts.

Then there's the annoying fact she's not talked to me about this one yet. I only knew she was off with him again because I'd seen him drop her off the first time, and pick her up the second. It's not like I'm spying on her, honest. But when you get dropped at one lover's house and picked up from the same place that lover also works, not forgetting the fact that that lover is a trained observer and investigator. Well you put two and two together and see what you get…

I haven't really got the grounds to be jealous. All that time during my serial one-nighters with Hank she stood back and let me get on with it. She knew and accepted I was having a broody phase, fantasising about having a child. Hank might have made a good father; he was certainly in the running. When the wheels came off that particular fantasy she was there to pick me up, calm me down and take me back to her bed and remind me of her place of primacy in my heart.

She knows, at least I think she knows, how much I love her. I know she loves me. But somewhere, deep down inside me, that little worm of jealously and doubt is stirring. I will have to be on my guard not to let the things I want to say slip out and make Catherine start to doubt me. I will equally, and possibly more deftly, have to be on my guard to not let Catherine know just how confused I am, how little I understand her actions. Clinging to her right now might just drive her away forever, and that would be worse than this transient pain, wouldn't it?




Title: Confused and Dazed
Challenge: Misunderstandings/Confusion
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Sadly they are still not mine, not will they ever be. I am doing it all just for fun.
Spoilers: Season 3 and Upto 'Getting Off' I guess.
Words:390

Poor Sara. I know she knows about my current obsession with Chris, I've done my best to not even try and hide it from her, but I'm afraid I'm still hurting her.

He's only a fling, a temporary obsession, someone I need right now, but won't need next week. Well, at the most, if I'm honest with myself, won't need next month.

I love Sara, ‘truly, madly, deeply' to quote a film title, but there are a few things she can't do for me. Actually, there's only one thing that Chris can do for me that Sara can't, but just at the moment that is the thing that I need to hear, to feel.

You see Sara is eight and a half years younger than me. Normally that doesn't matter, but Chris is a year and a bit older, and we have very similar memories of childhood television, news items and the like. For a little while, that's comfortable and fun. Chris has been around enough to be old-time Vegas and he's still in the world that I was in when I first came here. We can reminisce about the same people, the same things, in a way I just can't with Sara.

If I'm honest, the sex is pretty damn good too. Not so good as it is with Sara, there's just no intimacy, no loving touch. I'm not looking for more, not really; he'll be gone next week, next month, and the intimacy and love with Sara will be exactly what I want. But just for a little while the rawness and urgency of our lust for each other is strong. That's good for me, makes me feel young and vibrant again.

I don't really want to go back to being twenty, you couldn't pay me enough to do that, but just for a while Chris is seducing me with that illusion.

I know I need to be careful of Sara, if I'm not I could drive her away forever, and that would be a disaster. She's always the queen of my heart, my one true love, but just for this while, my heart is rebelling. Tonight, I'll be with Chris. Tomorrow, I'll explain it all to Sara. I'll see just how much freedom my queen will give me, how much I can play, without risking losing her.

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