Title: More Than You Know
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Ryan Wolfe
Author's Note: Continuation of Tears in the Rain.
Fandom: CSI: Vegas/CSI: Miami
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Ryan Wolfe, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Ryan blinked when the alarm clock buzzed; he reached over to turn off the alarm, hoping that it hadn't woken Greg, but knowing that it probably had. After their sleep had been interrupted by his boyfriend's crying jag, he wanted Greg to get as much rest as he could.

Turning back to his boyfriend, Ryan saw that Greg was awake; the other man looked up at him, giving him a wan smile and then holding his arms out. Ryan couldn't resist that gesture; he leaned down to slide his arms around his lover, feeling Greg's arms slip around his waist.

"I'm sorry about last night," Greg whispered, his voice sounding thick with sleep. "I-I don't know what was wrong with me. It's like .... everything just felt like it was too much, y'know? Like I might lose you, and like I was putting you in danger by being with you."

"That's how I feel about you too, baby," Ryan said softly, raising a hand to smooth Greg's tousled hair back from his face. "But we can't be apart, not at a time like this. We need each other. I don't know if I'd be able to make it through all of this without you."

"I don't want to be away from you, either," Greg said, sniffling again and sounding dangerously close to tears when he spoke. "But I can't help thinking that if you didn't have to deal with worrying about me, this might be a lot easier for you."

Ryan shook his head firmly, tightening his arms around Greg's slim waist. "No way am I going to be without you at a time like this," he said, refusing to back down. "If you're with me, then I can do my best to keep you safe. I'm not counting on anybody else to do it for me."

"I don't want us to be away from each other," Greg murmured, shaking his head. "I just think it'd be less worry for you, not having to deal with protecting me. I can take care of myself, Ryan. That day in the park .... He just surprised me, that's all."

"I know, babe, but I'm not going to be without you," Ryan told him, his voice soft and gentle. "Think about it. Can't you see that it would be a lot harder for me not to have you right here by my side? I'd just worry about you even more if you weren't."

"I'd worry about you, too," Greg said, his voice catching in his throat before he went on. "I wouldn't be able to do anything but sit around and wonder if you were safe. I'd probably be calling you every half hour, at least. So yeah, it's better for us to be together."

"How could you ever doubt it?" Ryan asked with a smile. He reached out to run his fingertips across the silver hearts that rested against the base of Greg's throat, then the gold hearts at his own. "Besides, we're bound together now, Greg. We couldn't leave each other even if we wanted to."

"I could never leave you permanently," Greg protested, shaking his head. "That wasn't what I meant, Ry. I just thought it might be safer for you if we weren't together temporarily, until we can catch this guy. But ... that could take a long time, couldn't it?"

"Yeah, it could," Ryan said, his tone sober. "And I couldn't be away from you for that long, Greg. I'd die of a broken heart if that happened. Even if I knew we were going to see each other at work, and that we'd eventually be together again, it wouldn't be the same."

"I won't get upset about something like that again," Greg told him, his voice barely a whisper. "I shouldn't have gotten all weepy about it in the first place, because I know it's not going to happen. We're never going to be apart, Ryan. I couldn't deal with it if we were."

"Neither could I," Ryan answered, his throat tightening on the words. "I love you so much, Greg. I love you more than you know. More than I could ever put into words. If I wasn't with you, I'd wither away and die. I know it. I couldn't live without you."

Greg's response to his words was to move closer to him, his thin arms tightening around Ryan's waist, holding him closer. Ryan closed his eyes, burying his face against Greg's hair, wanting to sit here and hold the man he loved forever.

Unfortunately, they couldn't do that; they had to get ready for work, take showers, get dressed, and leave to start another night at the crime lab. But for the moment, they had a few moments to revel in the joy of being together, in their closeness and unity.

He didn't want to loosen his grip on his lover, but he knew that he had to. Slowly, reluctantly, Ryan pulled away from Greg, wishing that they could both call in to work and stay home in bed all night, shutting out the world and just being together.

Greg sighed softly, looking down, and Ryan was sure that his boyfriend was thinking the same thing that he was -- that they should be able to stay at home tonight, to remain locked in each other's arms and not have to face seeing dead bodies and crime scenes.

"At least we have each other to come home to," he said softly, sure that Greg would know what he was talking about. It still amazed him that their thoughts could run along much the same lines, and that they could even manage to use the same words at times.

"I wish we could tell everybody we work with how we feel about each other," Greg sighed, his hands curling into fists. "It's not fair, Ry. You said that your lab in Miami didn't have any rules about people who worked together not dating. It should be that way here, too."

"Different labs, different rules," Ryan sighed, shaking his head. "I wish it was that way here, Greg. It would make things so much easier for us if they were. But they're not, and we've got to obey the rules that are laid down for us if we want to keep working together."

"I know," Greg said with a sigh, sitting up slowly and swinging his long legs over the edge of the bed. "But I just wish they'd take that stupid rule away. I keep worrying that you're going to get tired of having to hide how we feel from everybody around us and you'll --"

"What?" Ryan asked, getting to his feet and pulling Greg up to stand beside him. "That I"ll get tired of being with you and find somebody else?" He didn't need to see the hesitant, affirmative nod of Greg's head to know that was what his boyfriend had been thinking.

"Now you're just being crazy," he said softly, pulling Greg into his arms again. "I love you more than you know, Greg. More than I can say. More than anything. That stupid rule might be annoying, but it's not going to make me leave you. I'd never do that. Not for any reason."

"Nothing would ever make me leave you," Greg whispered, tears shining in his eyes again. "I'd die before I'd leave you, Ryan. If I didn't have you, then I might as well be dead. Nobody else could ever be what you are to me. And I don't want to know what it would feel like to lose you."

"You're never going to lose me, baby," Ryan said, his own throat tightening as he spoke. "Please don't keep thinking like that. We're going to catch this guy, without either one of us getting hurt. And we're going to be together for the rest of our lives."

"Not just for our lives," Greg told him, managing a smile. "Until the end of time. For all of eternity. If that's not too long for you to look ahead, that is," he added, his tone sounding more teasing and less worried now. He tilted his head to one side, smiling as he did so.

It was amazing how his boyfriend could go from being serious to teasing in just a few seconds, Ryan told himself, returning Greg's smile. But those quicksilver mood changes were just one of the things that he loved about Greg. He would never be bored with this man.

He loved Greg more than he had ever thought himself capable of loving anyone; his passion for this man had shocked him at first, but now, it was something that he couldn't live without. Being with Greg was as necessary to him as drawing breath.

If he wasn't with Greg, then he wasn't living. They didn't have to be by each other's sides every second; it was just the feeling of knowing that he was with this man, that Greg loved him as much as he loved Greg, and that they would never allow themselves to be parted.

He loved Greg more than anyone could possibly ever know, more than anyone had loved another person. Ryan didn't know how to put the love he felt into so many words, but it resided in his heart -- and he was sure that Greg could feel that love just as intensely as he himself did.

"Come on," he told his boyfriend, smiling as he leaned forward to press a gentle kiss against Greg's parted lips. "Let's go take a shower and get ready for work." Without waiting for an answer, he headed for the bathroom, knowing that Greg would be following close behind.

***