Title: Mutual Need
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Ryan Wolfe
Fandom: CSI: Vegas/CSI: Miami
Rating: PG-13
Table: 3, csi50
Prompt: 44, Need
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Ryan Wolfe, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Greg looked up from the report on his desk, sighing softly and rubbing his eyes. He felt as though he'd been writing the damned report all night, when in fact he'd only been sitting here with it for ten minutes or so. But without Ryan in the office, time seemed to drag by.

He knew that his boyfriend was in the trace lab, checking on some evidence they'd taken there. He would be back in just a few minutes. But without him here, the office had an empty feel to it, one that Greg had never noticed before Ryan had become his partner.

When he'd first gotten this office space, he'd shared it with Nick. But that had been a while ago, when he was a CSI Level Two, and before Nick had moved up a bit. He hadn't been angry that his friend had chosen to use another office, and at the time, he'd been glad for the solitude.

But now, he was used to having Ryan here, constantly at the desk right across from his, working right by his side. It was a good feeling to be able to look up and see the man he loved, sitting so close to him, so strong and solid, and so real.

He hadn't realized until he had first set eyes on Ryan how much he needed someone in his life, how much he wanted to be loved. He hadn't been special to anyone for a long time -- if ever -- and he needed to feel that he was appreciated, that someone needed him.

Greg sighed again, propping his chin in his hands and closing his eyes. Just thinking about Ryan made him feel warm inside in a way that nothing else possibly could; he'd never felt like that about anyone, not even people he'd thought that he might be in love with in the past.

That had just been puppy love -- or infatuation. It hadn't even come close to the real thing, he told himself with a smile. Now that he was with Ryan, he knew what real love was -- and now that he had it, he was never going to let it slip away.

A sudden thought occurred to him, making his eyes snap open and a frown furrow across his brow. He'd never thought of himself as being needy before, but could he possibly come off that way to Ryan? And would his boyfriend get tired of dealing with that?

The thought that Ryan might feel that he was too needy, that he could back away because of it, made Greg's blood run cold. He couldn't suppress a shudder that ran through his body, the sudden lump in his throat that made it hard to breathe for a few moments.

Losing Ryan wasn't an option for him. He'd come close to having it happen a few times since they'd been together, and the last time, when Ryan had been in that warehouse alone with Santos and the wire had been discovered, he had thought his life was over.

Even though he'd had confidence in Ryan's ability to take care of himself -- after all, he had been a cop in Miami -- he hadn't been able to rid himself of the fear that this time, his boyfriend was in over his head, and that he might have miscalculated the odds.

Fortunately, that fear hadn't come to fruition; Ryan had gotten out of that situation safely, and with any luck, Santos would never be a threat to them again. Still, there were times when Greg couldn't help but wonder what problem fate would throw at them next.

Maybe it was ridiculous for him to need Ryan so much. He shouldn't put that kind of a weight on his lover's shoulders; he didn't have the right to make Ryan responsible for his happiness. He had to make that happiness himself, not depend on someone else for it.

But the fact remained that he needed Ryan in his life; he needed the love that his boyfriend gave him, a love that he'd never thought he would find. He needed that comfort, that security, of knowing that he was loved and wanted -- and that Ryan needed him, too.

He'd tried not to let that need show at work; he knew that they couldn't afford to let Ecklie find out about their personal relationship. But he was sure that anyone who knew him well could tell what he felt for Ryan every time he looked at his boyfriend.

Nick knew; he had no doubt about that. But Nick wasn't the kind of person who would go out of his way to destroy their happiness; he wasn't going to say anything to Ecklie or to anyone else. Nick was one of the many people at the lab who thought the "no dating" rule was idiotic.

Had he become too needy since he'd been with Ryan? Greg's frown deepened at the thought; he didn't want to go down that path. He didn't want to be the kind of person who didn't feel that they could do anything without their significant other having a hand in it.

He'd never be like that, he told himself firmly. Yes, he needed Ryan -- but he wasn't incapable of making his own decisions without his boyfriend. He still had his independence and his own identity, while being in a relationship that made him happier than he'd ever been.

If he asked Ryan how he felt about the issue, he was sure that his boyfriend would say the same thing. The two of them weren't joined at the hip; they were together, but they didn't hold each other back in any way. Instead, they gave each other other the confidence to fly.

All right, so maybe he was needy in some ways, Greg thought with another soft sigh. But they were all good ways, weren't they? He didn't try to monopolize Ryan all the time, or keep him from being himself. And Ryan didn't do that to him, either.

He didn't mind being needy in some ways -- and he was sure that Ryan didn't mind him being that way. If he wasn't needy when it came to physical affection, then they wouldn't be as close as they were. That wasn't a bad thing, not at all.

Their mutual need had been part of what had brought them together -- and he knew that neither of them could ever regret that. They'd both found the perfect person to assuage those needs; so many people never found anyone who was exactly right for them.

Some people might think that it was too needy of him not to feel complete if he wasn't with Ryan, but Greg didn't care what they thought. He wasn't going to make any excuses for the fact that he needed the man he loved; for him, that was simply the way things were.

Looking down at the paperwork on his desk, he took a deep breath and picked up his pen. He had to get this report done, and then he could go to the trace lab and find Ryan. The sooner this was done, the sooner he would be with his love -- and that couldn't be soon enough.

***