Title: My Own
By: Kuroi Neko-kun
Pairing: Horatio/Speed
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: -In a strained voice- I don't own them.
Summary: Horatio reveals to Speed his own...
Warning: Slash or the idea of it, anyway.
A/N: I was going through the bios again for fun when I stopped at the 'divorce' part of Horatio's bio. That got me thinking for a long time about his status. It could be long enough for him to have a kid or two. I mean the guy is forty-six, it could be possible. Oh, H's POV.

***

I knew the way I reacted was way beyond my usual rational self. I was irate, snapping at everyone for not getting results fast enough, even though it was near impossible to do what I ask them too. I drew the line when I shouted at Speed for accidentally confusing the priority of the Trace evidence he was suppose to run for me. I saw the hurt in his eyes and I realized that I was being completely unreasonable to him. And the whole lab, but when those hurt came to his eyes it slapped me on the face. My heart did a double wrench that hurt. I guess I couldn't help myself after I saw her. The girl we had found at the beach. Her neck was snapped and she was raped. She was fourteen. She was a redhead. She looked exactly like my daughter. Even though she's in Tallahassee with her mother at the moment. I had that eerie feeling when I was in the autopsy room with Alexx, collecting evidence off the girl. My eyes played tricks by flashing my daughter's face on the body. My daughter. I couldn't help wondering how she was doing. The eerie feeling mixed with my guilt and hit my stomach. I realized I haven't been a very good father to her but my own fatherly instincts attacked me with so much guilt at the moment. After my little storm off with Speed, I was confronted by the ME, the only person able to talk sense to my stubborn self at the moment, who told me to get some rest and stop snapping like an old maid.

"I know who she looks like to you, sugar, but if you don't calm down and start thinking sensibly, you won't be solving this case," she said before recommending that I take a rest on the ugly couch in my office. I took her advice and headed to the office, hoping to at least feign paperwork. But when I reached there, I walked straight to my desk and took the picture I had of her and held it in my arms as I sat on my chair. I closed my eyes and thought about all the memories I had of her. It wasn't much but it was enough to bring me a tear or two.

I didn't realize I had fallen asleep at my desk when I heard the distinct voice of Speedle hovering over me. I jolted awake, looking into the mesmerizing brown eyes of his. He looked back with concern, the first time in weeks since I saw that look on his face. Speed wasn't withdrawn of all emotion. He just kept them all inside, locked up, hardening over time, like mine. So when he showed me his concern, I paid attention, not particularly enlightened to the reason but it means that he's capable of emotion. I sat up and searched for my daughter's picture. It was on the side of the table and Speed was staring intently at it. As if sudden realization to why I was acting the way I did. He composed himself.

"Is she…" he started. I nodded.

"Yeah. Fourteen years old," I said.

"What's her name?"

"Hailey Joanna Caine," I said with a strained voice," She likes to be called Hailey Jo." Speed had a ghost of a smile on his face, appreciating that I was sharing with him, I suppose. He leaned against my desk.

"Where is she now?" he asked softly. A voice I never thought I'd hear in this lifetime. I smiled before letting him a view of this part of my life.

The both of us spent time in my office talking about Hailey Jo. I did most of the talking, animatedly as I recall each memory. Speed watched me and for the first time I realized that I talked about a part of myself to him. I stopped and stared at him as he stared back.

"Speed," I said," How long have we worked together?"

"Pretty long," he answered with a sigh.

"And how much do we know each other?"

"We don't really talk much, H," he said before shrugging," on a personal basis anyway."

"Strange, isn't it?" Speed nodded, agreeing to my notion.

"Yeah, it is."

He offered to buy me coffee which completely throw my alarms to a whole new level of mass hysteria. Speed never offered coffee with anyone. Usually, the team would do that. I was tempted to ask, "Coffee? With you?" But that will only allow Speedle's sarcasm to reach my ears so I agreed and asked him why. Just out of curiosity.

"Well, you said we don't know much about each other," he said, quoting off me. So, after shift, I agreed to drive him to the café he suggested and got us a window seat. He ordered a cappuccino and I asked for black, we sat opposite each other, taking in each other's presence. I was staring at him, capturing little images of him to just burn into my skull for my own fantasies, knowing how wrong it is to love the body of a co-worker but as long as he doesn't know…

"H?" He was looking at me, an eyebrow arched up in curiosity and bewilderment. I hitched my breath as I realized that.

"Sorry," I mumbled," I was zoning." That just caused the eyebrow to go a little higher.

"You don't zone, H," he pointed out," You stare intently at something while letting the other side of your brain process it. You were processing me." For some reason, that brought blood to my cheeks. Maybe it's because he was right.

"I can zone," I said in a feeble attempt to salvage myself. It was a good thing that he decided to drop the topic.

"Well, how long since you talked to Hailey Jo?" he asked as the coffees came.

"Well, had a long conversation with her for an hour today. She asked tons of questions about forensics and asked me whether I found love again. She doesn't want me to go back to her mother. But she found love too so Hailey thinks it's only fair. She said she didn't care if it was a guy or a girl, just as long as I did," I gave an embarrassed smile. Interested, Speed placed his cappuccino down.

"So did you?" he asked, eagerness in his voice.

"I do have my interest on someone," I said, revealing that little tidbit to him with a small smile.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yeah, really," I said," What about you?" Instead of answering, he touched my hand.

"I'm interested in someone too," he said, whispering. I smiled.

End