Title: Never Alone
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Ryan Wolfe
Fandom: CSI: Las Vegas/CSI: Miami
Rating: PG-13
Table: 3, csi50
Prompt: 28, Lonely
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Ryan Wolfe, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Ryan glanced up at the clock on the living room wall, a slight frown marring his brow. A moment later, he shook his head, laughing wryly at himself for doing so. Greg had only been gone for a few minutes. He probably wasn't even in the grocery store yet.

They'd realized when they had gotten home from work and decided to make breakfast that they were nearly out of milk, so Greg had volunteered to run out to the grocery store and get a gallon. Ryan had agreed, but now he wished that he'd gone along.

It wsn't that he felt he had to keep an eye on Greg all the time, he told himself with a sigh. Now that Santos was out of the picture, he didn't feel that his boyfriend was in danger; it was perfectly safe for Greg to drive a couple of miles to the grocery store by himself.

But he liked being with his boyfriend as much as he could. Even though they worked together, and spent almost all of their working hours in each other's company, that still wasn't enough for him. He wanted to be with Greg every moment of every day.

Even when they were sleeping, he couldn't roll over to one side of the bed and not be cuddled against Greg. He had to have his arms around his lover, or at least have one arm thrown across his body as they slept. Though more often than not, Greg snuggled into his arms.

Ryan had no idea why he felt that he always had to be close to Greg; it wasn't something that he'd ever experienced with any other lover. In fact, with most of the people he'd been with, he'd felt the need to have quiet time away from them more than to be with them.

Maybe it was because he'd spent so much of his life being lonely, he told himself, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the couch cushions. How many times had he told himself in the past that he was destined to be alone, to never find the right person to love?

He had lost that attitude when he'd met Greg; he had known from the first time they met that he was meant to be with this man. But that didn't take away all of the lonely years, all of the time when he'd been so sure that he would never find anyone and never be loved.

He had been so sure when he'd left Miami that he was going to be alone while he was in Las Vegas; he'd thought that if he wanted company, he would simply .... well, hire it. He'd done it before, so there was no reason that he should feel guilty or embarrassed about such a thing.

What he hadn't counted on was meeting the person who completed him, the other half of his heart and soul. Greg had hit him like the proverbial ton of bricks; he'd fallen in that first second of gazing into those beautiful brown eyes, and he never wanted to get up again.

When had he first resigned himself to being lonely? It had probably been after the whole incident with Sam, finding out how she had left him to take the blame for a murder that she had committed. It was then that he'd realized how long he had been reaching out to the wrong people.

He had never loved her. He'd never even really wanted to be with her -- not for the right reasons, anyway. He had only wanted some companionship, a way to not be alone. If it hadn't been her, it would have been someone else. She had just been convenient.

How could he have ever thought he cared about someone like her? She had proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that she cared nothing about him, even as a friend. And looking back, he should have realized how she had been playing him all along, as well as the rest of the team.

Ah well, that was all behind him now, Ryan told himself firmly. He was here in Vegas, far away from Miami, and he was no longer alone. He would never have to be alone again. He had found the person who was his other half, the person he was destined to love.

But those years of being lonely had taken their toll. He realized that by the way that he was always just a little nervous whenever Greg wasn't around, whenever he had no idea where his boyfriend was or what he was doing. He was more than a little paranoid.

Ryan's lips twisted in a wry smile as he thought back to the early days of his relationship with Greg, the time when he'd been so sure that Greg wanted to be with that slut Morgan. He had almost destroyed their relationship through his own paranoia. He knew better now.

Greg loved him -- and him alone. He was sure of that. His boyfriend wouldn't have wanted those collars -- even though Ryan thought of them more as necklaces -- if he didn't want them to belong to each other in every way possible. He would never doubt Greg's love again.

He had no reason to doubt Greg's commitment to him. He should have known that the attentions had all come from that bitch, and not from Greg. His boyfriend wasn't the kind of person to sneak around -- he would break up with someone first rather than treat them so shabbily.

Ryan's hand went to the necklace around his throat, his fingers tracing the heart that lay at the hollow of his neck. He loved those necklaces; they were proof of the commitment that he and Greg shared, the outward symbol of how they belonged to each other and no one else.

Loneliness had become a thing of the past when he'd met Greg. He would never have to feel that way again; he'd never have to wonder if he would ever find the one he was meant to give his heart to. He'd already given his heart, freely and openly.

Greg had given his heart, too. They were a part of each other, in a way that neither of them had ever been with anyone else. Ryan was sure that even if he'd never met Greg, he could never have been this way with another person. No one else could ever be what Greg was to him.

If he'd never come here, and never met Greg, then he would indeed have been lonely for the rest of his life. He wouldn't have settled for second best. He would simply have been alone, and never have known the bliss of being with the person he was destined for.

Thank goodness that hadn't happened, Ryan thought, shuddering at the idea. He couldn't imagine what his life would be like now if Greg wasn't in it. He might be happy with his work, but there would have always been something missing, a part of him that was empty.

That wasn't going to happen, he told himself, smiling as he let a picture of his boyfriend form in his mind. He'd found love and happiness, and he would never have to be alone again. In the end, that was all he wanted, and he had all that he could have ever asked for.

***