Title: Nothing Matters But Happiness
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Carlos Moreno
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Rating: PG-13
Table: Emotions, mission_insane
Prompt: 1, Happy
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Carlos Moreno, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

It didn't matter what kind of a stink Fin tried to cause.

All that mattered was that he and Greg were happy with each other. His past was firmly in the past, and no matter what Fin might think of him, he'd closed a door on that past. Besides, she had been the one to firmly end that liaison.

He had no blame for that, and he wasn't going to feel guilty about it, Carlos told himself firmly. There was no reason for him to feel bad. Fin had been the one who had wanted to end it, and, truth be told, by that time, he hadn't wanted to be with her, either.

There were times when he wondered why he'd ever been with her. She was bossy, and the most selfish person he had ever known. She hadn't cared about his pleasure at all -- she had only wanted to get what she wanted. He couldn't have mattered less to her.

She had used him, and then thrown him away, like a used tissue that she thought nothing of once she was ready to discard it. That had shown him what she was -- nothing but a user, and one that he had been a fool to become involved with in any way.

Thank goodness he hadn't loved her, Carlos told himself with an inward sigh. If he had, then his heart would have been involved, and he might not have jumped at the chance to be with Greg. Then he would have missed out on the best thing that had ever happened to him.

He was happier with Greg than he'd ever been with anyone. People might find that hard to believe, given the fact that they didn't always work the same schedules, but they were making it work out. And soon, he'd be on the night shift permanently.

He'd requested that as soon as he'd started seeing Greg, but it was taking a while to come through. Carlos frowned at the thought; he didn't like the fact that he and Greg didn't see as much of each other as they could because of their working hours.

But that wasn't something he could change at the moment; he would just have to wait until that transfer to night shift came through. He worked nights once or twice a week, but he and Greg didn't always end up on the same cases, which was another annoyance.

He knew that realistically, they might not be on the same cases that much once he was working nights. Still, that didn't seem to matter so much when he looked at the fact that they would finally be on the same schedule, and would be able to see more of each other outside of work.

He wanted to spend all of his time with Greg, for them to be able to be together whenever they wanted. But that wasn't going to happen until they both retired -- and that wouldn't be for a long, long time, Carlos thought with a sigh.

Not that he really wanted to take an early retirement, and he was sure that Greg didn't, either. His boyfriend loved his work -- that was something that anyone could tell when Greg talked about being a CSI. He was so enthusiastic about it.

Carlos couldn't help but smile at that; he loved seeing Greg at work, watching him exercise that brilliant mind by doing what made him happy. He was amazed by Greg's intellect; he'd rarely ever seen anyone who was so good at what they did for a living.

He himself was happy being a cop; he always had been. He had known from the time he'd entered the police academy that he was making the right decision for himself; this was what he had been meant to do, and he got a lot of satisfaction from it.

But there had always been something missing in his life, some intrinsic part that he'd never quite been able to put his finger on. He had drifted through a few relationships, with both men and women, never knowing just what it was that was missing from them.

Now that he'd met Greg, he knew what had been missing. He had never been truly happy in any of those relationships because he wasn't in love. He had liked the people he'd been involved with, and even managed to convince himself that he was in love with a couple of them.

He knew better now. He'd never been in love, not truly in love, before Greg Sanders had come into his life. He had held his heart back, always instinctively knowing that the people he was with weren't the one he was meant to spend a lifetime loving.

Greg was the one for him; he'd known that since the first time they had kissed. Maybe he'd even known it the first time their eyes had met, the first time that he had truly seen Greg and felt a spark between the two of them.

He had met Greg before, of course -- but they'd never really looked at each other, and he had never allowed himself to think that Greg could be interested. He'd even thought for a while that Greg was straight -- he wasn't blatant about his sexuality, after all.

What had brought the two of them together? Carlos asked himself. What was it that had made him take a second look at Greg and realize that he wanted this young man in his life? What was it about the two of them that shot sparks whenever they were near each other?

He smiled at the questions going through his head, pushing them away. He didn't really need to know the answers to any of them. All he needed to know was that he loved Greg, and that Greg loved him. Nothing else really seemed to be all that important.

Did anything in life really matter but happiness? Carlos had to stop to think about that; of course, there were things that had to be important, like being able to eat, pay rent and bills, and have a roof over your head. Those were the necessities.

But he was discovering that for him, love was also a necessity in his life for him to be happy. Until he'd met Greg, he didn't think he'd ever really known true happiness. He'd been content, yes, but until he had found love, real happiness had eluded him.

How many times in the past had he tried to tell himself that he was happy, that things were working out fine for him -- and known that he was lying to himself, and that there was something missing form his life? There were too many of those times to even begin to count them.

He'd discovered that without having real love in his life, he was simply marking time, treading water, staying in the same place emotionally and never moving forward. His shallow relationships didn't make him happy, and in the end, they didn't mean much.

Then Greg had appeared on his horizon, like a bolt from the blue, and he'd discovered what real love could feel like. He'd never looked back since then, and he never wanted to. There was no reason for him to look back at the past.

The past was over and done; he might have regrets here and there, but he would never let that past color his future with Greg. He only wished that Greg would have come into his life sooner -- and that he had never sullied himself by being involved with Fin, however briefly.

Of course, Greg didn't hold that against him, and never would. He wasn't that kind of man. He would look at any of Carlos' past involvements as being water under the bridge -- after all, they'd happened before he and Carlos had ever met, so they weren't important in the long run.

What was important was the two of them, together, and the future that they would build. Carlos had to smile at the thought; he and Greg would be together for years, for decades, building a life together. They would grow old together, and still love each other just as much.

Carlos had never felt that way about anyone before. He'd never met anyone who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, to grow old with, to be together until death did they part. That thought brought him up short, his dark eyes widening in surprise.

Was he actually thinking about marriage? He settled back into his chair, turning the question over in his mind. Well, of course he was -- but that was somewhere down the road. His relationship with Greg had just started. Marriage was quite a ways into the future.

Though if he was honest, he did want to marry Greg -- eventually. It wasn't something they needed to think about now; he wanted to take their relationship one day at a time, to enjoy things as they were. He was in no hurry for more of a commitment.

For now, they had each other -- and they made each other happy. That was all that really mattered to him at the present, and all he needed to know. They didn't need anything more than that, at least not right now. The future was still ahead of them, with all kinds of possibilities.

He was sure that they'd be even happier when that future finally arrived.

***