Title: One Door Closes
By: lewis771750
Pairing: Cath/Sara
Challenge: Firsts and Lasts
Spolilers: None
Disclaimer: They are not mine. I know it, you know it, and they know I know it. I took them out to play and put a smile on their faces.
Rating: PG-13
Words: 399***
This was definitely the last time I was going to be in this position with that bitch.
Whenever she needed comfort, needed love, needed someone who actually understood her she would reach out to me, and like the love-starved addict I was I would let her back in. For a few days, maybe a few weeks it was good. Then the secrecy got to her, or the shame left over from that upbringing that she still tried to rebel against. Once that began, we started the downward spiral again, affection, comfort and love turning to arguments, accusations and finally a decision to separate once more.
She’d given me one gift that all the scars could never remove, the belief that people could still find me attractive. Hell, even at our worst she still desired me, she just didn’t like the fact that she desired me.
All those old platitudes, ‘there’s plenty more fish in the sea’ and the like had never really stuck me as convincing before, but I’d never lost my belief that I would put up with this on-and-off again relationship before. This time I knew in my heart of hearts that it was over, that I needed to do something different for my own sake.
So here I am, in a gay bar for reasons other than work for the first time in years. Yes I’m on the rebound, and no, this might not be the smartest thing I’ve ever done. But I need to do this, even if it is just for tonight. She’ll see it as a betrayal, as a confirmation of her worst fears about me, supporting her prejudices about lesbians in general. But I don’t care any more, I need to do this for myself and stop thinking about us. There is no more us, there never will be again.
In my wildest dreams I could never have thought I could score like this. A PVC clad sex-bomb wants me. She’s all curves, smiles, wicked moves, beautiful long fingers, lips to die for and a tongue I want to taste. Leaning in to kiss her for the first time I feel my breath catch in my throat. One of those platitudes springs to mind, ‘As one door closes, another opens’. This time it seems meaningful to me. The taste of her lips and the feel of her tongue drive those memories away.
AN The music came up on shuffle, but given the symbolism of Samhain seems highly appropriate once again.***
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