Title: Birds, Bees and One-Eyed Aliens
Author: Kimmychu
Fandom: CSI: NY
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Danny/Flack
Series: 1) Nine Months, 2) Nine Months: An Interlude, 3) Nine Months: Drabbles
Content Warning: Hmm. Cute overload.
Spoilers: Naah. Just for my story, Nine Months.
Summary: "Bah-ba, where do babies come from?"
Disclaimer: Danielle technically belongs to me. Since Danny and Flack's DNA is inside her... does that technically make them mine too?

***

The very first time Danny asked his parents how babies came about, he guessed he was around six years old. Like most kids in the world, he got the stork story. Of course, he knew no big white bird carried him to his childhood home. His older brother Louie had been more than happy to describe the entire baby-making process in lurid detail when he was four.

It was one thing to have asked his big brother about sex when he was merely a toddler.

It was something else to be asked the same thing by his two-year-old daughter, thirty years later.

"Mama?"

Danny turned around from the kitchen sink where he was washing the dinner dishes, smiling at his dark-haired, little girl. She sat in a white high chair with checkered cushions at the kitchen table with her other dad. Flack's mouth was open wide while Danielle spoonfed him banana-flavored pudding from her own bowl. And somehow, their baby girl's bib was now around the homicide detective's neck.

The CSI's smile widened into an amused grin.

"Mama!" Danielle said again. The spoon in her chubby hand went up and down as she waved her arm to get Danny's attention.

"Yes, sweetie?" Danny almost couldn't reply properly. Flack following the moving spoon with his gaping mouth was really comical.

Danielle let out a high-pitched giggle, distracted for a moment by her taller father's antics. Once Flack became motionless, she stuck a spoonful of pudding into his still wide open mouth, giggling some more. After a second, as if she suddenly remembered she had to ask something important, she looked back at Danny. Her large, blue eyes were wide in innocent anticipation.

"Where do babies come from?"

Yellow pudding shot straight out from between Flack's lips, splattering all over the square kitchen table.

Danny's lower jaw sagged, and an odd noise escaped his throat.

"Aahhh, bah-ba spit everywhere!" Danielle laughed shrilly. Her rosy, round face crinkled in a huge grin.

Flack wiped his mouth in a frenzied manner, and sputtered, "Danny! Did ya hear what she said!"

By now, Danny was pursing his lips, torn between wanting to pull at his hair, screaming in terror, and laughing till his stomach hurt. He tugged on his black tank top, crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah."

The homicide detective smiled and cooed at the smiling toddler, then pivoted around so Danielle couldn't see his face. Horrified was a major understatement to describe Flack's expression.

"She wants to know where babies come from," Flack whispered in a panicked tone, gesticulating wildly with his hands. "Where babies come from!"

"Where babies COME FROM!" Danielle squealed loudly. She was as excited as Flack was terrified.

Danny couldn't keep it in anymore, and cackled until he had tears in his eyes.

It was hilarious. He had been expecting his little girl to ask him about the birds and the bees … ohh, in fourteen years' time, at least. He should have known better than to assume that things would go the way he thought they would.

Danielle would never have existed if that was so.

And he couldn't ever imagine a life without his daughter. Ever.

"Bah-ba, where do babies come from?"

Uh oh. Their baby had switched over to interrogating Flack instead. Flack could never deny Danielle's imploring, doe-like eyes.

"Uhm … uh," Flack mumbled. "Babies … uh, lessee …"

Danny broke into a snicker at Flack's dumbfounded face. Ohh, this was going to be good.

The homicide detective, dressed in a pale blue t-shirt and jeans, scratched nervously at his chin. Then, Flack's blue eyes widened. Danny could literally see the metaphoric light bulb lit up above his lover's head.

"Babies! Yeah, of course daaaaaaddy knows where babies come from!"

Danny slapped a hand over his eyes, shaking his head even as he smiled. He knew what Flack was going to tell their little girl already -

"See, babies come from this veeeeeery special place in the sky, like - like … uh …" The taller detective sucked on his lower lip for an instant. "Heaven! Yeah, they come from heaven, see, and when it's time for them to come down to earth … this big, white bird with biiiiiig wings called a stork carries them from heaven to here!"

Flack ended his explanation with a toothy grin at the toddler.

Danielle stared at her daddy with wide, curious eyes and parted, moist lips for a minute. After that, she turned her head to gaze at Danny, aiming the same look at him.

There was a taut silence in the kitchen.

All of a sudden, Danielle laughed.

"That's not what Unca Hawk said!"

The grin instantly disappeared from Flack's visage. "Uncle Hawkes?"

Danielle stuck a finger into her mouth, giggling again. "Yeah!"

Flack's eyes narrowed. "And what did Unca Hawk say, exactly?"

The toddler grinned at her dad, a lovely smile that caused Flack's somewhat serious expression to falter and his lips to twitch. She looked at Danny, who grinned in return, and then back at Flack once more. She angled her head to one side, seemingly weighing up whether Flack was actually cross about something, or simply playing with her.

"Unca Hawk said babies come when a man and a woman have sex!"

Danny had to clamp a hand over his mouth to stop himself from bursting with laughter. It was the way Flack's eyes were bugging out of his head, and how his mouth was wide enough to fit a rhinoceros in it, that cracked him up so much more than Danielle's statement.

Their daughter was completely oblivious to Flack's reaction, continuing to babble about many other things that her Unca Hawk had told her.

"And then - and then, Unca Hawk said that eating broccoli makes your poopoo smelly!"

Danielle seemed to find this incredibly amusing, and squealed with laughter, hiding her face behind small hands. A moment later, her hands slammed down on the tray of her high chair.

"Mama!"

Danny took a deep breath. Uh oh, why did he have a bad feeling -

"Mama, what's sex?"

It was Flack's turn to explode into strident sniggers.

The CSI smiled sweetly at his daughter. Unlike Flack, he had excellent finesse at dealing with these matters. Once he was ready for it anyway.

"It's something I'll tell ya about when you're older." Danny ambled over to the child's high chair and picked her up to hold her in his arms, shushing her with a raspberry kiss to her cheek.

"But, mama, I wanna know …"

"Noooo, I'll tell ya when you're older. That's that."

If there was one thing his daughter inherited from him character-wise, it was definitely his stubbornness.

"Bah-ba! What's sex?"

Danny smirked extensively at Flack, who gazed around the kitchen with a mock innocent expression on his face, acting like he didn't hear Danielle's question. Heh. Danny stuck his tongue out at his lover. Chiiiiiicken.

The taller man stuck his tongue out at Danny too. His eyes were clearly crinkled in good humor.

"Mama, what are you doing with the phone?" Danielle asked as she clung to Danny with her arms around his neck.

"I'm callin' Uncle Hawkes, baby."

Danielle instantaneously perked up, bouncing in his one-arm grip. "Unca Hawk! Unca Hawk! Can he come later to play?"

"We'll see, won't we?"

The ring tone traveling through the earpiece to Danny's ear was rather soft. The beeping sound went on for a few more seconds, and then Hawkes picked up.

"Hi, Danny!"

"Hiiii, Doc," Danny said in an uncharacteristically cheerful tone.

Eventhough the former ME was many, many blocks away from their apartment, evidently, Hawkes could tell Danny had a wicked smirk on his lips.

"Uhm, hey … w-what's up?"

"Are ya free for breakfast tomorrow?"

"Well, s-sure, it's Sunday … uhm." Hawkes paused. "Is there something wrong, Danny?"

"Wrong? Of coooourse there's nothin' wrong." Danny glanced at Danielle, nuzzled her cheek. "I just wanna invite Unca Hawk over for breakfast, right, baby?"

"Unca Haaaaaawk!"

Hawkes chuckled upon hearing Danielle's joyful yell. "Hiiiii, Danielle."

"So, you're gonna come over, right?" Danny said into the phone.

"Of course, thank you." Hawkes was quiet again. "Uhm … are you … sure nothing's wrong? You sound a little … strange."

"Noooooo, I'm fine, just peachy," Danny said in his odd, over- jolly voice. "Oh, and Hawkes?"

"Uh, yes?"

"Have ya told your loved ones lately that ya love them?"

"Uh … I … uhm … yeeaah, I have," Hawkes replied tentatively.

"Goooooood. Then I'll see ya tomorrow mornin'."

Flack was gesturing at him to hand over the phone.

"Oh, Don wants to talk to ya," Danny said, then passed the phone over to the other man.

The homicide detective placed the phone against his ear and got right to the point.

"Hawkes … you are so deadmeat. Bye bye."

Once Flack disconnected the call, Danny sent him a mock frown.

"That was mean."

"Ohh, says the guy who was givin' Hawkes the third degree Italian mafia style." Flack's retort was ruined by his amused smirk.

Thankfully for the two fathers, Danielle let out a gigantic yawn, settling herself on Danny's chest and shoulder. Within seconds, she had closed her eyes and was fast asleep.

"Man." Flack gazed at the slumbering toddler in Danny's embrace with all the love in the universe. "Ya gotta wonder how they just fall asleep like that."

"Yeah." Danny kissed Danielle on the top of her head. "Let's put ya to bed, sweetheart."

OooooooooO

Somewhere in the city of New York, in a nice, comfortable apartment, Hawkes sat on his couch, still holding his phone in hand.

And with his big brown eyes all wide in fear, he said to himself, "Uh oh."

He bit his full lower lip.

"I knew I shouldn't have told Danielle where babies really came from."

Fin.

***

Next story in series - Tea Time.