Title: Playing Games
By: reversedsam
Pairing: Cath/Sara
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimers: They're not mine, but I promise I'll have them back by midnight.
A/N: All mistakes and British spellings are mine.
Summary: Sara's never drinking again.

***

"Hey guys, I got a great game we should play."

Oh god no, not again. This is the fifth time Greg has said this tonight and he's has yet to come up with a great game.

"Okay Greg, let's hear it."

Why does Nick have to be so nice all the time?

The yearly reports have just come in and once again we are the team to beat. So Warrick decided we should all have a get-together after shift to celebrate.

So here we are, dotted around Warrick's apartment in varying states of soberness. Well almost all of us, Grissom and Brass were called out about hour or so ago, Grissom was starting to look uncomfortable anyway so it's probably best. He's getting better at interacting with us outside work, there was a time he wouldn't have even made the effort, but he did today and we're all grateful.

"It's pretty simple really, we have to describe one another using only one word, let's start with me."

Great, Greg and drink really aren't a good combination, they lead to drunken Greg and ideas like this, but he doesn't seem to understand that.

Then again, drink and I aren't a good combination either; they usually lead to drunken Sara doing stupid things.

"Okay, I'll go first." Offers Warrick "How to describe Greg with one word, hmm...strange." Everyone laughs at his choice, I got to admit, it's a good word for Greg.

"Hey, I'm not strange." Greg protests.

"You're pretty strange...but in a good way." Warrick assures him.

"I don't think I like this game any more." Greg jokes.

Catherine says he's cute, he knows she means in an annoying kid brother way, but he smiles nonetheless.

I tell him he's sweet and he is, he always tries to cheer us up whenever things are getting to one of us. He blushes a little and I ponder for a second in my semi-drunken state if I've just unwittingly undone months of giving him the 'thanks, but I'm not interested' attitude.

After hearing Nicks answer then Greg's declaration that Nick was next a thought suddenly strikes me that it'll soon be Catherine's turn. And I'll have to think of a word, one single solitary word to describe the complex mass of complicated contradictions that is Catherine.

How exactly am I supposed to do that?

I pause my train of thought to give my word for Nick; I say he's a gentleman. I couldn't think of a more fitting word for him, he's kind, caring, considerate and there whenever anyone needs him.

My mind returns to thinking of a word for Catherine. This is an impossible task, she's a million things all at once, intelligent, annoying, frustrating, infuriating, contradictory, maddening, stubborn, sarcastic, uncompromising, challenging, compelling and so very, very sexy.

I doesn't help that I can't stand the woman but have somehow managed to develop a case of full-blown lust for her.

Oh how I'd love to shut her up with a kiss the next time we argue. Just throw her up against a wall or over her desk and take her. Have her watch me touching her so she knows it's me she's moaning for, the woman she can't stand.

My mind wanders to that fantasy for a minute until I'm dragged from my thoughts by Greg declaring it's my turn.

He tells Catherine to go first and I immediately look at her, wondering how exactly she's going to describe me.

"That's a hard one, one word only to describe Sara...hmm."

While I doubt she's having the same dilemma as I am it's good to know she can't define me easily. Then again, I'd hate to think what words are running through that pretty head of hers right now. None of them complimentary I'm sure.

"Can I use two words?" Oh great, she really wants to slag me off.

She doesn't take her eyes of me as she speaks, just tilts her head in Greg's direction.

"Well, it's kind of against the rules, but since we're all half drunk and drunken people aren't good with rules I'll say yes. That and I really want to hear what you're going to say."

Me too.

"Okay, I'll say complex." She's right there. "And amazing."

Amazing? She must have had more to drink that I thought. Mind you, she could mean, amazingly annoying or amazingly irritating. There's nothing to say she meant that as a compliment. My immediate reaction is to ask her exactly what she did mean by that but I can't do that now. Especially seeing as everyone else has just accepted it and is carrying on as if she didn't just say I was amazing.

"Ow Cat, you robbed my word, I wanted to call Sara amazing." Greg protests, from him I expect it, he has a crush on me and I'm flattered. I smile at him in thanks and he blushes, yep definitely undone all my hard work.

I don't even register what Nick and Warrick say about me because I'm to busy thinking about Catherine. She threw me for a loop there for sure and the way she's been looking at me makes me think she did it on purpose, wanted to see what I'd do, how I'd react. Of course now I'll have to do as she has and say something she won't be expecting.

I ponder saying sexy as freaking hell for a second, just to shock her, but then it wouldn't just be Catherine I shocked; plus that's four words.

Although I have to admit, I'm almost drunk enough to do that. Almost drunk enough to tell her how much I want her in my bed. Almost drunk enough to describe to her, in detail, one of the many fantasies I have that she has a starring role in...Almost.

I figure, screw it I'll say whatever is in my mind, I won't think about it. If she's shocked, she's shocked.

Just as Greg says it's her turn, she sits back in her chair and looks at me, god would I love to know what she's thinking.

"You go first Sara."

I look at her for a second before saying the first thing that comes to my mind "Beautiful."

Thankfully I'm just drunk enough so I don't regret it as soon as I've said it. I know I would without the alcohol lowering my inhibitions and I probably will once I've sobered up.

I watch Warrick's eyebrow make friends with his hairline and I giggle, I bet he wanted to say that, plus, the slightly shocked expressions are amusing.

For her part Catherine doesn't even flinch, just sits there looking at me slightly strangely; not that I blame her.

Still I'm going act like I don't care, like I'm not still pondering her calling me amazing, like I don't want to ask her to explain, like I don't care what she meant by it.

Because if I did ask, she'd ask me if I really thought she was beautiful and that's a conversation I don't feel like getting into just yet.

So that's how the morning continues, we drink more, talk more and play more stupid games Greg makes up.

"Well, it's been fun but I need to go get some sleep." Nick says an hour or so later, standing and grabbing his phone "I'm gonna call a cab."

"Ask for two Nicky." Catherine says.

"Make that three." I add.

"Why don't you share mine?" Catherine asks me "My place isn't far from yours so you could drop me off on the way."

I know being alone with her right now isn't such a good idea, my self-control around her is tenuous at best, and with the alcohol lowering my inhibitions I could do something stupid. "Yeah, okay." See why is it bad ideas seem really good when under the influence?

Half an hour later I'm sitting in the back of a cab with Catherine making small talk and really wishing the driver would put his foot down. She's sitting far to close to me, the heat radiating from her body is drawing me in; I seriously want to kiss her senseless.

Thankfully a few minutes later we arrive at her place, she's about to get out of the cab but stops and turns to me "Come in with me, I'd like to talk to you."

I shouldn't, especially not when I know what she wants to talk about, but that doesn't stop me wordlessly following her out of the cab and into her house.

I follow her into her living room and sit on the sofa.

"You want a drink?" She asks sitting down next to me; kicking off her shoes.

"I'm good thanks." I've had more than enough to drink today.

"You said you thought I was beautiful." Jesus, she doesn't mess around does she. I don't know why I'm shocked; I knew she was going to bring it up.

"Yeah." Very informative answer Sara.

"Did you mean it? Or did you just say it to get a reaction from me?"

"You said I was amazing."

"And you are and very complex. Now did you mean it?"

'And I am' Just like that, no explanation, nothing, just 'and you are' well how am I supposed to take that?

"Both."

"Both?"

"Yes I said it to get a reaction out of you, but I do mean it." Why am I telling her this?

She smiles at me before continuing "What type of reaction were you looking for Sara?"

That's a good one, what type of reaction was I looking for? Did I even care what type of reaction I got? As long as I got one.

"I don't know to be honest, I was wondering why you called me amazing and I think I just wanted to shock you, because you sure as hell shocked me." Damn alcohol making me feel the need to be truthful with her.

"That's fair enough and you did get a reaction Sara."

I though for a second she was going to tell me what reaction, did I shock her? But I guess she wants me to ask.

"What type of reaction?"

She grins at me and I have no idea at all what she's thinking. I've never seen that look on her face before; I really want to know what it means.

She's lightning quick as she throws a leg over mine and settles herself onto my thighs. I can do nothing but look up at her in total and utter shock.

"Not the reaction you were expecting?" She asks right before leaning in and kissing me.

I don't respond for a second, the complete shock I feel at her actions paralysing me. That is until her tongue swipes across my bottom lip.

I can't help whimper at the action and start kissing her back, opening my mouth to her, greeting her hello with my tongue. Her mouth is so sweet; I could kiss her all-night.

Bringing my hands up to her hips, then sliding one up to tangle in her hair. I always knew she'd be a good kisser, and oh how right I was.

Our tongues start moving together and I feel the pure animal lust I have for her starting to build, making me pull her closer and push my tongue into her mouth, dominating our kiss. Shivering as she moans into my mouth.

I reluctantly pull back when oxygen becomes a problem.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that for." She says before moving her mouth to my neck.

I need to stop her and talk, see what she thinks this is. I'm not looking for a relationship here. I need to make sure we're on the same wavelength.

"Cat."

"Mmm." She mumbles against my skin before flicking her tongue over my pulse point. Oh that feels nice.

"Catherine?"

"Yeah?" She answers before gently biting down, then flicking with her tongue again. Oh god.

I have no doubt that were it not for the alcohol we wouldn't be doing this right now, all the more reason I need to make sure what 'this' is, but god she's making thought difficult.

I'm about to try once more, but she kisses me again and I suddenly forget why I was protesting in the first place.

Her hands make their way under my top to massage my breasts and all coherent though is lost.

The next thing I know we're in her bedroom with a trail of clothes behind us and any thought of stopping this is long gone.

I wake hours later with a headache and a very naked Catherine sprawled over me.

The realization of what happened between us comes screeching back to me.

Of all the times I've fantasised about her it's always been hard and fast, in the heat of an argument kind of sex; nothing like this morning.

The way she touched me, slowly and softly, caressing every part of my body, telling me how beautiful I am, how good I felt. The way she slowly kissed me and held me as I drifted of to sleep. The way my body reacted to her, how good she made me feel. My body tingles at the thought alone.

I never expected any of that and now I'm worried sick that this actually meant something to her. That a quick drunken fling was the furthest thing from her mind.

How do I explain this one? 'Thanks for the drunken fuck, but that's all it was, sorry if you got confused, bye' I'm thinking that won't be very well received. I know it wouldn't if it was me. I'm never drinking again.

Of course I could be wrong; she could feel exactly as I do. Things will be awkward for a while but then we'll get over it.

I feel her start to wake up; she pulls me closer to her and buries her head in my neck, kissing the skin there. "Mmm, morning baby." She says.

My body stiffens at her words; I'm in so much shit here. Thankfully her breathing evens out again and she falls back asleep. I need to get out of here; I can't deal with this.

I manage to untangle myself from Catherine without waking her, something I'm very grateful for.

Once up. I go about the task of finding my clothes, not as simple as it sounds, since they're all over the place.

About ten minutes later I'm slipping out of the front door. I'm just about to shut the door behind me when I realise that if I do this our relationship will probably be damaged beyond repair. That and it is just a really shitty thing to do to her. But what else can I do? Stay and be truthful? The truth is just as shitty, if not more so. Besides, it's not like I want more from this. Is it?

So I can do the cowardly thing and walk away, not having to face the consequences of what happened or I can stay and explain.

But I've never been good at relationships, so the coward in me wins and I close the door as quietly as I can, and then walk away.

***

Well way to fuckin' go Sara, way to act like a total and utter bitch. How could I? I know how much what I've just done hurts. I've had it done to me before. To abuse someone's trust like I just did is despicable.

Whatever has happened between us in the past, she deserved a hell of a lot better than that, would it have killed me to leave a note? So I didn't know how to handle it, I could have made something up; anything at all would have been preferable to what I actually did.

I walked home from Catherine's, I needed time to think, try to clear my head. I got less than half a mile before realizing I'd made one hell of a mistake.

I contemplated going back; stopping on the way to get food so I could pretend that's why I left. But I couldn't, I've never been good at lying, she'd have seen right through me in a second, then not only would I be a bitch, I'd be a lying bitch.

When I got home I headed right for the shower, standing under the almost scalding water. Just letting it wash over me, wishing it could wash away my problems and my guilty conscience; so I don't have to deal with either of them.

I checked my machine when I walked back into the living room, hoping she'd have phoned, even if it was just to yell at me.

I make a quick call to Grissom, tell him I feel sick and won't be in tonight. There's no way I can go into work as if nothing has happened. He seems shocked, tells me to call him if I need anything. I almost laugh at that, I'd love to see how he'd handle this one.

I make myself a coffee and sit on the sofa, I'd put the television on but I'm too lost in thought to take any notice of it.

I pick up my cell phone, just in case I've somehow missed a call, or a text message. Placing it back on the sofa next to me I stare at it for a minute or two, as if I can make it ring by will-power alone. Although, it should be me doing the calling.

How the hell did I let this happen? We don't even get on. I don't even like her.

Oh for Christ's sake Sara, why not just for once be honest with yourself?

What's not to like about her? She's intelligent, amazing at her job and gorgeous to boot. Besides, I seemed to have no problems with her when I was writhing under her touch a few hours ago.

So why did I leave?

Let's stick with the honesty for a while okay? Admit it Sidle, you were scared, scared senseless. Scared she might actually want you.

Why would I be scared of that?

Because she'll challenge me, call me on my shit and expect me to do the same for her. She has no trouble expressing her emotions, showing me how she feels and I wouldn't be able to shut her out or push her away, she wouldn't let me. In other words, I'd have to change, let someone in and trust them, because she wouldn't accept anything less.

The thought of that petrifies me more than I care to admit.

I've never had someone be like that with me before, people usually just leave me to my own devices, see my half assed attempts at relationships and take it or leave it, usually because they're only half interested themselves.

Face it Sara, that's why you've always pushed her away, kept her at arms length; because I know she wouldn't be happy with the teeny tiny bits of myself I give people.

Take Grissom for instance, I convinced myself I was in love with him; I didn't let him get close though. But then I knew deep down that he wouldn't try so he was a safe bet. I could convince myself it was all his fault it didn't work out, because he was so unavailable and detached emotionally.

That way I could ignore that fact that I am too. Ignore the fact that I never invest in relationships. And let's face it, if I wanted any type of relationship with Catherine, I'd have to invest; because there's no way in hell she'd let me get away with not doing so.

Plus I know I couldn't help it, she gets under my skin, always has done and I can't help the way I react to her. Somehow she always manages to make me react; bring out emotions I try so hard to control. So I'm scared.

Isn't it about time I grew up and got the hell over it?

I don't think I like this honesty thing any more.

So what do I do about it now? How the hell do I make this right?

I grab my cell phone and dial Catherine's number, my stomach starts doing star jumps and I can feel my heart rate speed up with every unanswered ring. After half a dozen or so rings I'm put through to voice mail.

Okay so maybe she isn't by her phone. Just because she didn't answer doesn't mean she's ignoring me.

I could phone the lab, they'd tell me if she was in. And then what?

Oh who the hell am I kidding, of course she's ignoring me and with good reason. I've royally screwed this one up.

Why am I even bothered? Aren't I the one who said I wasn't looking for a relationship, that it was just physical for me?

Of course she could feel that way herself; I was too cowardly to stick around long enough to find out.

What's the worst that could have happened? We'd have talked, I'd have told her how I felt, she'd have told me how she felt. We'd have agreed it was a one-time thing or maybe we'd have tried seeing where it went. Yep, plenty of reason to run away there Sara. God I'm a total ass.

I try her phone again, to no avail. I have to get her to talk to me. Not that I have any idea what to say, I just need her to know I'm sorry.

I just wish I could turn the clock back. Do this morning all over again, only this time I wouldn't give in to the panic I felt when I woke up. I'd wait till she woke up, maybe even make her breakfast and then talk to her.

There's a million things running through my head, I feel like I'm going slightly crazy.

I'm dragged from my thoughts by a knock on my door, I check to see who it is and I think my heart stops for a second when I see Catherine on the other side.

***

I open the door and just stand there looking at her, I don't say a word, just stand there. My brain doesn't seem to be working right now.

"Can I come in?" She asks.

"Oh yeah, sorry." I stand back and open the door for her. I get the feeling I'll be saying sorry a lot more before today is over.

She walks in and stands in the middle of my living room, she looks so tiny right now and I feel the overwhelming urge to wrap her in my arms and try to make everything better. I don't though; I don't think she'd appreciate that right now.

Standing here, looking at her it strikes me how much braver than me she is. She had the courage to go after what she wanted, to make a move on me. I was the one that walked out and yet here she is, this cannot be easy for her and no doubt she's looking for an explanation. I just hope I have one she wants to listen to.

I study her face looking for any hint of emotion she might be feeling, maybe give myself a second or two to prepare for whatever is coming, but she's giving nothing away in her expression.

"Can I get you a drink or anything?" Avoidance? That's a new one Sara.

"No thank you."

We stand there looking at each other, an awkward silence filling the air. I desperately want to say sorry and try to explain myself, but I'm too nervous, why can't she just yell at me or something, because I sure as hell deserve it.

"You're just going to stand there aren't you? Not saying anything. Just totally ignore the issue. Wait for me to deal with it?" Now she looks pissed, seriously pissed "That is just so typical of you." She shakes her head in obvious disbelief.

"I don't know what to say." That's not exactly true, I want to say a million things, and I'm just too scared.

"You could make up some excuse, tell me you left a note and I mustn't have seen it, tell me there was an emergency, tell me anything at all, just don't stand there saying nothing as if it's all okay. Of course you could always just say sorry, but then you'd actually have to be sorry first."

"I am sorry." I say quickly, stepping a little closer to her. "I'm so sorry; I regretted it ten minutes after I left."

"But you didn't come back did you; no you just let me wake up thinking everything was fine."

"I know, but I couldn't come back. I thought about it, I was going to make out like I'd gone to get us breakfast, but I didn't want to lie to you."

She laughs at me when I say this, unable to hide the incredulity she feels at my comment. Although now I've said it I realise it does sound ridiculously stupid.

"Oh yeah, because that would have been so much worse than walking out like that. Would have been so much more hurtful to have you there when I woke." She says, her voice full of sarcasm. "Okay, so you obviously think this morning was a mistake, you were drunk and I pretty much threw myself at you, I just don't understand why you couldn't have just explained."

"I know, it's just that I..." I have no clue what I'm doing here. I need to explain to her why I left and try to make her see I'm sorry and that I don't think it was a mistake, not now I've had time to think.

She looks seriously upset and it's all because of me. I have to make this up to her somehow.

I gesture towards the sofa; she follows me over and sits at the opposite end to me.

"Do you have any idea how much it hurt when I realised you'd gone? Left without as much as a note. I thought you'd gone for a shower, or to get coffee or something. I feel like a fool." The hurt clearly visible in her eyes is killing me; I can't believe I put it there. "Do you know how hard it was for me to show you how I felt? How long it took me to work up the nerve to do something about it. Then you do something like that. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't expecting anything, didn't want to assume anything until we'd talked, but it seems that was too much for you. I don't even know why I'm surprised; it's not as if I haven't had my share of people who weren't interested beyond sex." She sighs and shakes her head a little "I just thought..." She stops mid sentence.

I wait a few seconds thinking she'll continue but impatience gets the better of me. "You thought what?"

"I guess I just thought it would be different with a woman." She looks away from me as she finishes talking, so thankfully she doesn't see my shocked expression.

"You've never been with a woman before?" Holy shit. I feel a million times worse hearing that. First times like that should have happy memories attached. Not a one-night stand with someone who didn't even care enough to stick around for coffee afterwards.

"Never." She shakes her head and looks away again. I don't believe this.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I had no idea; I just assumed...I mean, I thought...I...shit." Very eloquent Sara.

"Oh come off it Sara, the fact that you're the first woman I've been with doesn't mean shit. It sure as hell doesn't change anything." Okay, she has a total right to be angry here.

I'm an ass, a grade A, first-class ass. How could I be so thoughtless and selfish? I will make this right, I have to.

"Why did you leave? Was it me? I know I've never been with a woman before...I mean...was it the sex?"

How can she think that? I shake my head at her before replying. "Good god no, it was amazing, you were amazing, you made me feel amazing." I tell her truthfully.

"Then why?" She asks.

I bury my head in my hands for a minute taking a deep breath and then looking at her. Okay, time to be honest with her and with myself too.

"I was scared, that's why I left, hell, I'm scared now. I don't know what to do here. I don't know how to handle this. I panicked when I woke up; I had no idea how to deal with what happened between us, so I did what I always do, I left." I say quickly, before losing my nerve and doing the usual 'defensive' routine.

"Scared?" She's the one looking shocked now.

"Absolutely petrified."

"Of what?"

God, how do I get all that in one conversation? "You, me, the possibility there could be an 'us', that you might want there to be an us and most of all because I might."

A look of confusion crosses her face as my words sink in. "You're scared of a relationship with me?"

"Yes." That about sums it up.

"But why? I don't understand."

"You've known me for almost five years now right?"

"About that, why?"

"In all of that time how many people have you seen me get close to, really close?"

She thinks for a second "I can't think of anyone."

"Exactly, it's not something I do; it's not something I let myself do. But I know if anything happened between us I'd have to let you in because you wouldn't accept anything less."

"You got that right."

"So it scared me, still scares me now. The thought of you wanting that from me is terrifying." I pray to god she doesn't ask why I have issues about this. My childhood is not something I want to get into right now.

Thankfully for me she doesn't. She just regards me for a second or two before speaking. "I should apologize as well, we were drunk this morning and I practically jumped you." Oh no she doesn't.

"Don't you dare apologize, you may remember I didn't once complain or try to stop what was happening. I'm the ass here, this is all my fault."

"I won't argue there." She says smiling. "You said before that you might want there to be an us?" I don't reply, I think I'm to scared to vocalise it, to make it real like that; so I just nod.

"I thought it had just been about the sex for you, that's why you left."

"I thought that too, but now I've had time to think, I realise it's more than that."

She smiles at my words and I'm thankful I've said something right, something she obviously wanted to hear. "It definitely wasn't just physical for me. I admit I probably wouldn't have made a move if I hadn't of been drinking. I've had feelings for you for a while now. Then when you said you thought I was beautiful I couldn't help but think there might be a chance. But instead of talking to you about it, I decided to show you." She shrugs, making me wonder if she's happy or regretful about the decision she made, although after this morning I have no doubt that she wishes she'd have spoken to me first.

I move to sit a little closer to her and tentatively bring my hand up to her face, running my fingertips across her cheek. I feel her relax into my touch and a huge wave of relief washes over me, I thought she would have backed away.

"You are beautiful, I meant that." She smiles at my words. "Do you regret it?"

"How could I? It was amazing being with you like that, better than I ever imagined." She moves my hand from her face and holds it in hers. "Even after what happened, if I had it to do again, I'd make sure we talked first, but I can't regret it."

"Do you think we could try again? Do things the right way around this time?" I ask hopefully. I think I'd really like to try.

"I don't know. I'm not sure I could take you shutting me out like that again. No, I take that back. I won't have you do that to me again. I won't leave myself open to that. I refuse to try this again if you can't open yourself up to me, let me know you."

"I'm not going to make promises I'm not sure I can keep and I won't lie, it's hard for me to open up and let people in. But for the first time in a very long time I want to, I want to try this with you; I want to let you in." I feel a sense of relief as I say that, both at the fact I managed to be honest with her and the fact I do want to let someone in, finally.

"Are you sure? You're not going to change your mind in a week?"

"I'm sure." And I am, I don't know when that happened but I am sure. Sure of her, sure she won't hurt me intentionally; sure she won't abuse my trust.

"We take this slow." She states

"I think that's best." I think I'd take just about anything she's willing to give me right now.

"Okay." She said okay, just like that my world is about to change. Who knew it would feel this good.

"So now what."

She grins at me before continuing. "You could ask me out."

The thought of a date with her thrills me beyond belief and I smile involuntarily at her words.

"Catherine, would you like to go on a date with me?" Even though she suggested I do this, I still hold my breath waiting for her answer.

"Yes, I'd love to."

"Excellent." I just sit looking at her after she answers. Amazed that I just asked her out, amazed that she said yes.

"Right, I'm tired." She says, breaking the silence.

"Oh right. You going to head home then?" I don't want her to leave. But this is all her pace now.

She regards me for a second before speaking. "Erm, if it's okay with you. I'd like to stay here." She says. She sounds nervous, as if I actually want her to leave. "I'd like to wake up with you. Start tomorrow like I should have started today."

"That's more than okay." I smile.

I take her hand and lead her to my bedroom then head to the bathroom to change, giving her some privacy so she can change.

As I change I ponder how exactly is it I went from leaving her this morning, convinced I didn't even like her, to practically begging her to try a relationship with me tonight?

A few minutes later and I'm in bed with Catherine curled up at my side, her head tucked under my chin, her arms holding me and it feels fantastic.

"Sara?" She asks.

"Yeah."

"Promise you'll be here when I wake up." I hate myself for making her feel the need to ask that.

I kiss the top of her head and wrap my arms around her. "I promise." I say, hoping she heard the honesty.

I feel her relax against me and her breathing evens out. I know right here and now that I'm falling for her. I just hope I don't mess it up.

If this is what happens when I'm honest with myself, I think I'll try it more often.

***