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Title: Pushing Papers
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Gil Grissom
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Rating: PG-13
Table: Un-themed 7, mission_insane
Prompt: 10, Paper
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Gil Grissom, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Gil sighed as he looked down at the papers on his desk, knowing that he had to get them taken care of and out of the way before Greg came home from work this morning. He didn't want anything to interfere with the time he could spend with his boyfriend.

He couldn't help wondering what Greg was doing, if he was all right, or if he was in the middle of a crime scene that could be potentially dangerous. For what felt like the millionth time, a part of him wished that he was still working at the crime lab.

But he couldn't go back, he told himself wistfully. He'd made a clean break as far as the job was concerned; he was doing something he loved, and he had no intention of going back to a job that could be so stressful and could make him feel as though he hadn't accomplished much.

It was sad that he could feel that way, when he knew tht he'd brought a lot of criminals to justice and given a lot of families closure. He didn't deny that, but still, sometimes all he could focus on was the people he hadn't managed to save, the cases that he hadn't solved.

Even when he'd been working at the crime lab, there were times when he felt like nothing more than a paper pusher -- just as he was feeling at the moment. Unfortunately, no matter what job he seemed to have, it felt as though paperwork comprised a great deal of it.

He had more paperwork to do now than he had when he was leading the crime lab, he thought with a sigh. But at least this was something that he loved doing; the paperwork at the crime lab had felt more like an intrusion on his time than an extension of his job.

Greg didn't like doing paperwork, either, and Gil didn't blame him. That wasn't something that any of the CSIs preferred doing -- they all liked ot be out in the field, doing their job, feeling that they were helping the victims of the crimes they investigated.

Of course, doing some of the paperwork could help them catch clues that they might not have found at first; he'd done that himself several times when he was working at the crime lab, and he had to admit that all of the paperwork they found themselves doing wasn't always a bad thing.

But for the most part, it wasn't something anybody liked. No one wanted to feel like a paper pusher, especially not when the part of their job that they loved the most was being out at a crime scene collecting evidence. But it was something that came along with the job.

Greg had always been good with the paperwork, actually, Gil mused, sitting back in his chair and letting his thoughts drift back to when the younger man had first started working at the lab, in the DNA department. Greg had been the best DNA tech that the crime lab ever had.

In some ways, it had been a shame that he'd wanted to work out in the field and become a CSI -- but Gil didn't blame him for that. Greg wasn't the kind of person who was meant to be kept inside four walls -- he was a damn good CSI, and he was invaluable to the team.

Even so, there were times when he wished that Greg hadn't followed his dream and gotten out of the lab. He didn't like the idea that his boyfriend was out there at crime scenes every day, making himself all the more vulnerable to the men who had kidnapped him.

No one was going to leave Greg alone at a crime scene after what had happened; Gil knew that. Everyone was looking out for him, more than they usually did -- his colleagues had his back, and Gil knew that his boyfriend was well-protected when he was working.

But the thought that Greg was out there in the open still made him uneasy. He didn't want to think about what could happen, but his mind inevitably led him there -- and he didn't like the thoughts that sprang into his head. They were too disturbing, and too hard to get rid of.

Honestly, he'd like it a lot better if Greg had stayed in the DNA lab, if he'd been content to simply be a tech and hadn't wanted to be out in the field with the CSIs. But it was far too late to wish for that now; Greg had been a CSI for years, and he wasn't going back to the lab.

Really, he wouldn't wish that on his boyfriend, because he knew that Greg didn't want it. He still enjoyed being in the DNA lab at times, but he knew that Greg liked the freedom he had as a CSI, the variety of things he got to do, rather than being in a lab all day long.

He wanted Greg to be happy, and his boyfriend would never be satisfied to be back in the DNA lab all day. He also wouldn't be happy simply pushing papers around on a desk, even though that would be a lot safer than being out in the field day after day.

If only he could keep Greg himself, be assured that nothing would happen to his boyfriend! Gil thought with a heartfelt sigh. But he couldn't wrap Greg in tissue paper and keep him safe; he had to let the man he loved make his own way in the world, even in dangerous situations.

He would always be there to protect Greg in every way he could, of course, but he couldn't be by the other man's side every moment of every day. And he couldn't insist that Greg only do things that would keep him within the realm of safety; he couldn't hold his boyfriend back.

As hard as it was for him to accept the fact that Greg couldn't always be kept completely safe, he had to let the younger man make his own decisions, and do what he wanted to do. He had to support Greg in every way that he could, and help Greg put the past behind him.

There was no way that Greg would be happy pushing papers, any more than he himself was. As much as he hated the thought that his boyfriend was vulnerable to people who might want to hurt him, he had to try to stop worrying and let Greg do his job.

He would be home at any moment now; Gil brightened as he pictured Greg walking through the door and smiling at him. All he wanted right now was to wrap his arms around his boyfriend, to hold Greg and kiss him, to ask how his work shift had been, and what had happened.

When Greg got home, he would be able to put aside his own paperwork, even though he hadn't finished it yet. He wasn't going to worry about it until tonight, when Greg left to go to work, and he had time alone again. It was more important to spend time with the man he loved.

They had so much lost time to make up for -- and Gil intended to do just that. The trauma that Greg had been through might have set them back a little as far as making up for that lost time, but they would eventually get to the point where it wouldn't be an obstacle.

And he would stop worrying about Greg's safety at work, and wishing that his boyfriend was back in the lab spending more time with paperwork than out in the field collecting evidence, he promised himself. He had no right to wish for that, and Greg wouldn't want that for himself.

Gil sat up straighter when he heard Greg's car pull into the garage a moment later, a smile spreading across his features. It was time to leave pushing papers behind for the day, and enjoy spending time with the man he loved. All of his worries could wait until later -- much later.

***