Title: Reflections Of The Past
By: Bobbie
Fandoms: CSI: Miami/CSI/Without a Trace x-over
Pairings: Speedle/Caine, Gil/Nick, Jack/Martin
Rating: NC-17
Archives: Yes, please
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. The song belongs to Meatloaf.
Warnings: M/M slash, Language, Tears, Mild Angst, POV.
Author's Note: I was thinking on this all week and decided to type it out. Big thanks to my wonderful beta.***
Looking back at that week now is like waking up from a nightmare and watching it fade away with the dawn. I still don't know what triggered his reaction but I'm glad to have been there for him when he needed me the most.
The case we had been working on was one of the worst in my memory but Horatio seemed to be especially disturbed by it. I could see the toll he was paying for holding his emotions in check and had decided to call in our friends.
"Timmy."
I started at the softness in his voice and glanced up from the Trace report in front of me only to notice how tired the slim, red headed man standing in the doorway looked. His sky blue eyes held something in their depths that I didn't like so I rose and went to his side.
"Let's go home and bum around, okay?"
Stunned and a little worried by H's request, I merely hung up my lab coat and left the building by my lover's side silently, nerves settling in and mind racing wildly. I knew that something was wrong and climbed into the H2's passenger seat while Horatio slid behind the steering wheel, eyes staring at the road ahead of us as we pulled out into traffic.
"Whats wrong, H?" I asked him as he sighed and drove to my favorite resturant. " Are you feeling okay? "
Horatio stopped at a light then drove off and turned left before pulling into the resturant's parking lot, engine clicking off as he turned slowly in his seat to face me. The pain in his eyes tore into my spirit and caused him to look away.
"Today was my last day at the Lab ,Timmy." He answered quietly as I sat up straight and gave him a surprised look. " Don't look at me like that Babe, all right? Its just time for me to move on thats all."
(This couldn't be happening.) I thought numbly, watching him sit there and study me. ( I have to prevent this from happening.)
"Why don't we take some time off?" I said quickly, taking his broad hand in mine as he looked at me and stared into my eyes. " You know, it'll give us a chance to relax and get a fresh look at it."
"Timmy..."
"Please don't resign, Horatio." I practically pleaded, tears in my voice as he sighed again and glanced out at the passing cars. " You love this job! Why do you want to throw all those years of hard work away all of a sudden?"
He shrugged his shoulders and replied," Because I love you more then this job and I want us to have the time to start a family."
"Then lets take a vacation to distance ourselves from here." I said as he smiled warmly and nodded. " At least for a while anyway. If you still feel the same way when we come back home, I'll happily follow you wherever you want and support you in your new career choice. Deal?"
Horatio gave me a quick kiss to my unshaven cheek and slid out of the vehicle to enter the resturant as I called Calleigh to explain the entire situation to her carefully, glad that she was agreeing with me.
Ten minutes later, I found H coming out with a box in his hands and a grin on his face as I opened the door for him. He placed the crude carrying case on my denim - clad lap before sinking into the seat behind the wheel.
"I ordered your favorite meal, Timmy." He teased gently as the smell of warm garlic and fresh cheese wafted from the cardboard conainer I was holding as we headed for home. "We can stop for ice cream to if you want."
"Maybe later?"
The ride home was filled with talk about our impromptu vacation and where we should spend it but I could still detect the pain in his voice. The vehicle pulled into the driveway slowly to reveal two figures standing on our front porch.
"Is that Jack and Martin standing there?"
I had called them to let the older man know what was going on. I didn't actually expect the two FBI agents to show up with their bags in hand looking worried. We climbed out and went over to greet them warmly while Jack followed us inside, smiling.
"You two surprised us." Horatio said, getting plates and untensils out as Martin helped. " I'm glad you called me Jack."
The dark haired, stocky agent shrugged and got the iced tea out before joining us as I dished out the food.
"You look in need of a vacation ,Horatio." Jack observed as we ate lunch and H nodded.
"So do you."
I smiled at Martin as he grinned back and we spent the rest of the day planning what would turn out to be the best vacation ever. Of course, I didn't know it at the time.
Later that night found me studying the older man next to me and kissing the fair skin gently, causing him to wake up. The moonlight made Horatio look like a cast off angel and took my breath away as he lifted his eyes to my face quietly.
"Keep that up and I'll get even."
I shook my head and listened to the sounds coming from the guest room as H seized the opportunity to pin me against the matteress, straddling my hips with a triumphant smile crossing his face.
"I'm going to make you come crying , Timothy." He said softly, eyes full of mischief as I shivered excitedly at my first name.
I settled in against the pillows, wrapped my arms around the slender back, and gave him a cocky grin as he returned it.
"Most doctors agree that sex is a great stress reducer, Love." I whispered as he reached down and pressed his lips to mine. " Care to test it out?"
The low growl he made in his throat told me that I was about to find out if it was true or not first hand as he rummaged through the drawer and handed me a familiar tube as I gladly prepared him, teasing H lovingly.
"Paybacks are Hell, Timmy, and its time to pay for waking me up."
I watched him shift lower and groaned loudly when he slid his cock into me in one thrust, filling me completely as he held still.
"Move ,H."
H chuckled then claimed my mouth before he began fucking me slowly, reaching between us to stroke me in time to his thrusts. I loved this man more then myself and he returned it ten times over as we moved together in the fading moonlight, moans and groans forming a gentle rythm of the night.
"H, I'm ---"
"Let go for me baby." H crooned in a hoarse voice, speeding up his thrusts as I tensed. " Timmy,come for me."
I cried out his name as my climax ripped through me and vaguely heard him shout my name when he came deep within my body, collapsing on top of me as he caught his breath. I ran a hand through his hair tenderly and caused him to look up at me as I kissed the sweat away.
"I love you, Horatio." I purred as he pulled out and cleaned us up with a towel that was kept near by before taking him into my embrace. " I really do."
"I love you to Timmy."
"Feeling better?"
" Mm-hmm."
The sun wasn't even up yet when I felt him shake my shoulder roughly until my brown eyes opened and he combed his fingers through my raven hair softly.
"Get up and pack, Timmy." He said,pulling his faded black denim jeans and Harley t-shirt on as I sat up slowly and groaned at the time. " We're leaving in ten minutes."
I took a quick shower, got dressed, and threw some clothes in a sports bag before joining the other three men waiting in the living room as I took in Horatio's outfit. The old denim jeans, even older t-shirt, sneakers, and black leather biker's jacket made him look so rebellious that nobody would have pegged him as the day shift supervisor of the Miami-Dade CSI Unit.
"Lets load up and hit the highway." Horatio said, helping Jack with our clothes.
I hung back with Martin to lock up and grab the coolers before glancing at the brown haired agent in confusion.
"Where are we going Marty?"
The other man laughed and replied simply." Two words Speedy: ROAD TRIP."
I was in shock but climbed into the front by H as we buckled in and pulled out. But where were we going? The question answered itself when Horatio reached over to flip the passenger's visor down as an envelope fell onto my lap.
"Open it love." he said as I did and stared in disbelief at the tickets in my hand. " You didn't think I'd forget your birthday did you sweetie? Thats where we're going."
"But this is in Vegas ,H." I replied, safely tucking the tickets into the glove box and studying him." It'll take --"
"We're on vacation, Tim. Remember?"
Thats when it hit me. Was he joking last night? No, the pain and hurt in his voice was too raw to be fake. So did he have this planned out in advance but just needed to be pushed into it? I decided to ask H about it later and smiled at him broadly as he switched the radio on.
The station played classic rock and among his favorites so I smiled while talking with Martin, relaxing while we left work behind with each mile.
"Hey Horatio." Jack said as I glanced out at the scenery going by." Remember Wood Stock?"
"Best summer of my life, Jack." Horatio chuckled. " Especially the motorcycle ride up."
My brain disgested this little known fact about my companion quietly. ( Horatio went to WoodStock?) I thought, smiling to myself. ( On a motorcycle no less. Bet he even had a tattoo.)
"You can't runaway forever
But there's nothing wrong with getting a good headstart
You want to shut out the night
You want to shut out the sun
You want to shut away the pieces of a broken heart
Think of how we'd lay down together
We'd be listening to the radio so loud and so strong
Every golden nugget coming like a gift of the Gods
Someone must've blessed us when he gave us those songs
I treasure your love
I never want to lose it
You've been through the fires of Hell
And I know you've got the ashes to prove it
I treasure your love
I want to show you how to use it
You've been through alot a pain in the dirt
And I know you've the scars to prove it
Remember everything that I told you
And I'm telling you again that it's true
When you're along and afraid
And you're completely amazed
To find there's nothing anybody can do
Keep on believing
And you'll discover baby
There's always something magic
There's always something new
And when you really really need it the most
Thats when rock 'n'roll dreams come through
The beat is your's forever
The beat is always true
And when you really need it the most
That's when rock'n'roll dreams come through...for you...
Once upon a time there was a backbeat
Once upon a time all the cords came to life
And the angels had guitars even before they had wings
If you hold onto a chorus you can get through the night
I treasure your love
I never want to lose it
You've been through the fires of Hell
And I know you've got the ashes to prove it
I treasure your love
I want to show you how to use it
You've been through alot of pain in the dirt
And I know you've got the scars to prove it
Remember everything that I told you
And I'm telling you again that's it true
You're never alone cause you can put on the phones
And let the drummer tell your heart what to do
Keep on believing
And you'll discover baby
There's always something magic
There's always something new
And when you really really need it the most
That's when rock 'n 'roll dreams come through
The beat is your's forever
The beat is always true
And when you really need it the most
That's when rock' n 'roll dreams come through...for you.."
Horatio smiled at us and pulled into a gas station for supplies as our friends hopped out,leaving us alone.
"Were you serious about quitting the Department last night?" I asked as he gave a slow nod. "Why? You've worked these hit and runs before."
H sighed and held my gaze with his own as I understood everything instantly.
"The victim looked like you." He finally said softly, voice near breaking as I reached over to place a hand on his knee. " All I could think about when I saw the raven hair and grungy t-shirt was that it was you lying there. You had gone out for doughnuts, remember?"
I closed my eyes and cursed mentally at that. Of course he would've been worried, I had left my cell phone that morning and thats when it made sense.
Delko told me about Horatio getting sick at the scene and how he swore that if I hadn't been standing before him, he would've testified to the fact that I was the one who was dead.
"I should've seen it sooner, H."
Horatio shrugged, drew in a breath, and, releasing it slowly, replied, " Its okay,Timmy. I calmed down once I knew you were safe."
"Thats right." I said, smiling. " I called you on your cell phone because I was running late."
The two agents climbed back in and we were off down the highway. I sensed that the mood of the trip had changed as Horatio relaxed more and even took us skinny dipping in Colorado which earned Martin a case of Poison Ivy.
The road trip to Las Vegas was fun and it helped Horatio clear his mind enough to rethink everything as Gil Grissom and Nick Stokes let us stay with them for the convention's duration.
I had to coax my boyfriend to actually stay away from the Crime Lab and kept him busy by going to the majority of the casino shows. H loved the David Copperfield one and vowed to get out more at home. Before we knew it, our two weeks were nearly up and we had to head back to Miami although I had the feeling that Horatio and I would be returning shortly.
On the morning before we had to return to Florida, I came into the living room early and heard Grissom talking with Horatio quietly in the kitchen.
Crouching out of sight, I heard every word clearly and felt relief rush through my system as the two men discussed their worst cases.
"It'll be all right you know."
"I know Gil." Horatio replied, voice filled with love. " I'm grateful for Tim sticking by me like he does. He means everything to me."
(You mean everything to me too H.) I sighed mentally, rising to my feet.( More then you'll ever know.)
I silently retreated to our room and got packed, grinning to myself about the journey back home. Pulling my t-shirt on, I shook my head and knew that I had finally found someplace to call home. Who would've guessed that it was with my boss?
Chuckling softly, I zipped up my jeans and went into the kitchen for breakfast, reflecting on the entire time even as Horatio drew me into a hug.
Epilogue
(Horatio's POV):
That trip changed me drastically and it made me realize how much of a difference that Tim made in my life. God, I love him and will anything to make him happy.
Isn't love supposed to be like that? Tim wants to adopt but I told him we could wait for a little bit longer because we need to think of how much having a child to share our lives will impact on our jobs.
Yeah, I know that sounds cold but I'm only concerned about the child's welfare with our schedules and crazy hours. Well, maybe someday soon we'll have that chance to be parents but for now I'm content with our life as it is.
Besides, its already complicated enough so why add to it?
The End
***
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