Title: Seeing Stars
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Ryan Wolfe
Fandom: CSI: Vegas/CSI: Miami
Rating: PG-13
Table: 5_prompts, Written in the Stars challenge
Prompt: D3, Expect fireworks!
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Ryan Wolfe, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.***
Ryan looked up as Greg came into the office, looking back down just as quickly. He should have known that his boyfriend was going to be angry at him; it was only to be expected, after what he'd done when they had been out working on a case last night.
He hadn't meant to put himself in danger, to be right in the line of fire. But neither had he expected any of the suspects in the case to return to the crime scene -- especially when two CSIs were there. And he hadn't thought that they would have guns.
But they had -- and he had confronted them in spite of that fact. He'd just been lucky that Brass had been on the scene, and that he'd been quick to draw his own gun. Between them, he and Ryan had managed to take out both suspects before they'd fired a single shot.
At any other time, Ryan might have felt proud of that -- but he had seen the look on Greg's face when he'd turned around to make sure that his boyfriend was all right after the suspects had both been shot. Greg had looked as though he was going to pass out.
He should have told himself then to expect fireworks when they got back to the lab and they had a few quiet moments. Greg was more than likely going to give him a tongue-lashing, tell him what he thought of Ryan risking his life unnecessarily.
He wouldn't blame Greg for doing so, Ryan thought, hoping that his boyfriend would get the angry words out quickly. He wasn't going to refute those words. He'd been stupid, acting on the spur of the moment, not thinking about anything but putting himself between those men and Greg.
Greg had every right to be angry at him, after the promises that they'd made to each other about neither of them putting themselves in the line of fire unless it was absolutely necessary. But he hadn't been thinking about his promise at the time. Only about Greg.
Ryan steeled himself for angry words, feeling Greg's presence at his side. He waited for those words to come, waited to hear the reproach in Greg's voice. He was surprised when the other man knelt by his chair, reaching to take Ryan's hands in his own.
"Why, Ryan? Why?" Greg whispered, his voice very soft, almost breaking on the words. "Why would you do something that could have gotten you killed? I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life as I was when I saw that guy turn around and pull a gun on you."
Ryan swallowed hard, finally daring to lift his head and look into Greg's face. His boyfriend didn't look angry; there were tears in those beautiful dark eyes, tears that he had put there with his actions. He couldn't bear to see Greg cry. Not over this.
"Because all I could think of was keeping them away from you," he whispered, his voice hoarse. "The only thing on my mind was keeping you safe. I didn't think about the promise I'd made you about not taking any unnecessary risks. That one felt necessary."
"I could have taken care of myself," Greg told him, not trying to hide the tears that were starting to streak down his cheeks. "Ryan, if anything had happened to you ...." He shook his head, raising a hand to wipe at his face. "You could have died, right there in front of me."
"I'm so sorry, baby," Ryan said softly, hoping that Greg had locked the office door when he'd come in. He slid out of his chair, crouching on the floor next to Greg and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. "I wasn't thinking about that promise. I was just thinking about you."
"I know," Greg whispered as Ryan pulled him close. "I know you were. But I-I thought you were going to die. I saw that guy pointing a gun at you, and all I could think of was that I was going to lose you. And I wanted to die, too. I wanted them to kill us both."
Ryan had expected fireworks -- but they hadn't materialized. He didn't know which was worse -- having Greg blow up at him in anger, or this sadness, this feeling that he had somehow broken a promise he'd made to Greg and had let his boyfriend down.
"I didn't mean to disappoint you, Greg," he whispered, burying his face against the softness of Greg's hair. "I know I should have kept my promise and not gone running into a dangerous situation. But the way I saw it, there was no choice. I wasn't going to let them get to you."
Greg nodded, gulping in air before he spoke again. "I-I wanted to be mad at you for doing something that c-could have gotten you killed," he admitted, raising a hand to wipe the tears from his cheeks. "But I can't be mad. I know you were just trying to protect m-me."
"I'd do anything to keep you safe," Ryan murmured, taking Greg's face between his hands and gazing into his boyfriend's dark eyes. "Anything. If that means putting myself in danger, then you have to accept that, Greg. I'm sorry. I know you don't want to. But it's inevitable."
He hadn't wanted to throw himself in front of a gun. But when he'd thought that those men could easily get to Greg and hurt him, something had snapped in his mind. He would have thrown himself on a live grenade if it meant protecting the man he loved from harm.
"I know you don't want to see anything happen to me, baby," he continued, swallowing hard before he could get any other words out. "But you have to understand how I feel. I used to be a cop, Greg. It's part of who I am to protect people. Especially the one I love."
"I can't be mad at you," Greg murmured, slowly disentangling himself from Ryan's embrace and getting to his feet, holding out a hand to help his lover up from the floor. "I know how you feel. I'd do the same thing for you, Ryan. I'd jump in front of a gun to save you."
"I hope you'll never have to do that," Ryan told him, moving to slip an arm around Greg's waist again. "It's not something you think about, Greg. It just .... happens. You realize in a split second that the person you love is in the line of fire, and instinct just kicks in."
"I know," Greg said softly, raising a hand to trail gentle fingertips down Ryan's cheek. "That's why I can't be mad at you for doing it. I thought I was, but I took one look at you when I came into this office, and all I could think of is how much I love you."
"I love you, too," Ryan breathed, leaning forward to brush his lips gently against Greg's. It was a good thing the office door was locked, he thought as they slowly broke apart, both of them realizing where they were. If anyone had seen them kissing, they'd be in some serious hot water.
"I'd expected some fireworks when you came in here," he admitted, shaking his head ruefully. "And I was prepared to listen to whatever you needed to say, no matter how mad you were. But it wouldn't change what I did, Greg. And I'd do it again."
"I know you would," Greg told him, his voice husky. "Just remember that I'd do it for you, too. I've got your back, Ryan. Always. Ever since the first time I didn't keep you safe, I've promised myself that I will from now on. No matter what it takes."
"Whatever happens, we'll be there together," Ryan told him, glad that the two of them had talked things out without the discussion getting heated. "If we go out, Greg, we go out together. I don't think either one of us could keep going without the other."
"I know I couldn't," Greg told him, a catch in his voice. "If something like what happened today took you away from me .... I'd rather be dead than lose you like that, Ryan. I don't want to go through the rest of my life alone. I don't think I could."
Ryan swallowed hard, feeling tears prickle behind his eyes at Greg's words. "And I couldn't live without you, either," he managed to say, his throat tightening. "Come on, let's go home and find something to talk about that's not going to make us both depressed, okay?"
Greg nodded, flashing him a smile that lifted his spirits. How could he feel depressed when the man he loved smiled at him like that? That smile could have him seeing stars -- and he hoped that he would keep viewing them for a very long time to come.***
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