Title: Settling
Author: Kuroi Neko-kun
Pairings: Mac/Danny
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: The CSI pie is CBS's, not mine.
A/N: I guess I am so in love with this pairing I had to continue on it. My friends did ask me why I wrote it close context to Speed's death. I didn't realize that till now. I seriously don't know the color of Mac's eyes. But I think it's green. Continuation to 'Do you hear me?', 'Sensitivity' and 'Almost'. Oh and Danny's POV.
Summary: A gunshot wound can change your life. And with one month of thoughts in his head, Danny brings the subject up of really settling with Mac, physically and emotionally.


***

I never expect one month to fly as fast as it did. I still remembered being laid up in bed because Mac openly refuse to let me move an inch. He said he was guilty and seeing me like this reminded him of his actions… or non-actions. Well, it's not his fault so he had nothing to be guilty about. What happened to me on the field wasn't something that we'd expect but it happened. I, for one, least expected to get shot in the chest and live. I don't know what happened but the doctors said I almost died. I fought to live because of Mac. The incident, however, changed me. Not in a bad way, as one would think. I realized how much I hadn't done in my life. During that month of resting, I called my mom but she already knew what happened to me. Having a family of cops helps with the explanation. But my mom was worried just the same. She even asked me whether I found love yet. I said I did, not ready to admit who it was but I said I did. She didn't press me to show them who the person is but told me that she was happy that I did. The thing about my mom is that she's the most open minded mom I've ever had. She told me that she didn't mind if it was a guy or a girl, as long as I'm happy. Well, I'm glad for mom, I guess. The other thing that I realized I hadn't done was sitting down and talking to Mac about our relationship. I mean, so it's only been two months in it, one month where no sex was involved, but it's long enough to say that we need to make some plans. During that month of sitting around the house, I noticed that the boxes of things from Mac's house hadn't been unpacked. That irked me a bit and I have yet to bring the subject up. Maybe I did rush things. My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening. Climbing out of bed, I got up, just to see him. Mac loosened his tie and placed his bag onto the side table. I sighed before coming out of the room and greeted him.

"Hey," I whispered, slipping my arms around his waist. Mac gave me a half smile before kissing my forehead. I don't know why but I love it when he does that.

"How was your day?"

"A whole day of budget meetings," Mac said," They think that we're working too hard."

"Personally, I think you're working too hard," I pointed out," But hey, I have no say in the workplace. I'm just a first grade CSI who is in love with his supervisor."

"Danny, you're starting to sound like a wife…" he said, mock glaring at me.

"You clean up like one," I shot back. He smiled. True enough, Mac does the household chores on the weekends. I'm hopeless with the broom and dustpan. Flack once told me that I put the Mess in Messer. Heh.

"Right now, I would like to get cleaned up and have a nice meal before I go to bed with my lover," he said, smiling.

"Good, I cooked," I said. The look on Mac's face was priceless. If it was a picture, I'd dub it 'horror-struck'.

"You… didn't… right?"

"Why? You don't like my cooking?" I asked, crossing my arms across my chest and cocked my head to the side.

"Do I need to remind you what happened the last time you cooked?" No, Mac. I perfectly remembered.

"This time I didn't use barbeque sauce as a substitute for anything. I swear." Mac took his time for thought before following me to the kitchen.

"Come on, say it," I said, looking at Mac. I made meatloaf and it didn't turn out as bad as I expected. Mac looked surprised at first but as he ate, he didn't say anything. Now, as he was done eating, he stared at me.

"It's good, Danny. I'm glad that you made such a wonderful dinner," he said before getting up to clear his plate. I grabbed his arm, wanting him to sit.

"Mac, there's something we need to talk about," I said as he sat down again. I took a breath before finding the right words to say it.

"We need to start unpacking your boxes," I finally said. He raised his eyebrow in response.

"That's it?"

"And change your address," I pointed out. Now Mac shifted his weight, looking at me.

"Anything else Danny?"

"It's about time you let me go to Claire's grave with you," I said softly. This was the one that got Mac to stare at me.

"Danny… I…"

"Mac, I'm not rushing into this but I need to bring this up."

"Why?"

"Because I realized that there are a few things I haven't done." I looked at him, blinking back tears. I can't cry in front of him but my heart was wrenching for some reason.

"I love you, Mac," I said," And I almost left you alone. I fought to live for you. Because I love you."

"Danny," he said, coming over to me. He stood over me and lifted my chin, staring straight into my eyes. I could see the tears glistening in his green orbs.

"Thank you," he whispered. A tear streaked down his cheek.

Mac had five unopened boxes lying abut in the apartment we lived in. Five. Three were marked 'Work items'. I gave him a look before turning back to the boxes. Upon his insistence, I wasn't allowed to carry anything and I had to wear the shorts that I was in the first time I helped him move.

"So what do you want to do first?" he asked, looking down at me. I sat cross-legged surrounded by his boxes. As a response, I grabbed a cutter and slid open the tape on one of the 'Work items' boxes. Inside were four large binder files.

"Mac, that better not be tax papers…" I said. Mac shot me a look before taking out the binders. All of them were marked 'Reports' followed by a year. In fact, all three boxes were filled with the binders.

"Supervisors need to keep copies of all case reports for reference," he offered as explanation when I picked up one.

"Okay, the spare bedroom is an office," I announced, looking at the files.

"Why are you making the decisions?"

"Because technically this is my apartment," I shot back. Mac rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, technically, I'm your supervisor," he retorted.

"That's why you need an office," I pointed out," We'll shop for furniture later."

"We? Danny, I haven't agreed to the idea yet." He frowned at me. I grinned. I just like the way he frowns when he's annoyed. I'm not going to say cute because I'll never admit of anything being 'cute' and Mac doesn't categorize as cute in any angle. I just like it.

"It's settled, Mac." He looked at me before shrugging. He knew there was no way he was going to win this argument. He excused himself as he carried the files to the spare bedroom. When he returned, I held up the cutter again and opened the bigger boxes of the last two. Apparently, 'Personal Effects' to Mac is all the personal information he has for himself.

"I was expecting at least a lamp," I muttered before rummaging through the box despite his protests. At the bottom, I found a photo album. Ha! I quickly opened it. The first picture I saw was Mac as a kid.

"Aw…" I said, annoying him. I flipped through it. There were pictures of his family, Mac in high school, Mac with his high school friends, Mac with his prom date (wow, he HAS taste), Mac in the Marines, Mac with all his Marine chums, Mac's wedding photos… The last page of it was a newspaper clipping of 9-11 from the New York Times, The obituary for Claire Taylor. I looked at Mac who had this pained expression on his face. Closing the album, I placed it back in the box. My throat was suddenly dry as I looked at Mac from behind my glasses. I got up from my position and picked up the small box that was really light and handed it to him. I knew what was in there. A beach ball that Claire blew up. He threw away everything but that beach ball. I was about to walk away when he grabbed my arm.

"Maybe this was a bad idea," I mumbled, looking at him. He placed the box down before turning to me. He kissed my forehead.

"Nothing is a bad idea," he said. I gave him a humorless smirk.

"Just really good ones overshadow the lesser ones, right?"

"That and some people react to it because they don't like it."

"So is this a bad idea?"

"No. It's a good one."

I looked at Mac uncertainly. He hadn't spoken to me since we went into the car. By right, today I had a doctor's appointment. Mac had taken the day off to accompany me, something he always does. He wordlessly got into the driver's seat and waited for me to climb into the passenger side. I tried to break the silence with light conversation but he didn't speak to me. He just kept his eyes on the road. I knew something was wrong but I didn't' know what it was. My answer did come in a different form. Mac turned the curb and entered into a cemetery. He parked the car before turning to me. I looked into his green eyes, seeing more than just pain but the hardship of this.

"Mac…"

"Danny, I loved Claire more than anything in the world but I lost her. If things never happened the way it did, I would have never even considered loving you." I saw him swallow before taking a deep breath.

"I'm sure that she'd want me to move on and learn to let go. You have to meet her for that to happen. I owe her that," he continued. I gave him a small smile before reaching out to caress his cheek. As I did, he closed his eyes before kissing that hand.

"I love you, Danny," he said.

"I love you too, Mac," I said. He smiled at me before moving to get out of the car. I followed and waited for him. Mac had gone to the trunk and took out a box. Specifically, the box containing the beach ball. I gave him a look.

"Can't keep her breath for long, Danny," he explained. He led the way, weaving about through gravestones. I glanced at a few. 'Loving son', 'gone too soon', 'Dearly missed'… It makes me wonder what will be put on my stone. 'Helluva Mess' would be good though it'll be a joke for Flack. Well, maybe 'Best Lover in the World'. I'm sure Mac can agree with that. Jokes aside, I think not having a grave stone at this early age would be the best. I'd hate it if 'Gone Too Soon' would be placed as a marker of my memories. Mac stopped before grabbing my arm. I slowly walked to the grave stone. I saw the words and couldn't help smiling.

Claire Taylor
Beautiful Daughter, Loving Wife

"Danny Messer," Mac said before taking a breath," Claire Taylor." He took out the beach ball from the box and handed it to me. I gave him a look. Mac wants me to release Claire's breath.

"Do it, Danny," Mac said. I opened the stopper of the beach ball and lightly squeezed out the air from it. Mac watched me until all the air was deflated from the ball. We stood in silence before Mac spoke again.

"Now she's finally free, Danny." I smiled before reaching out for Mac's hand and held it tightly.

"At least she'll know you're in good hands," I said. Mac turned to me and kissed my forehead.

"I know," he answered before smiling at me.

End