Title: Starry, Starry Night
Author: RealmofRed
Pairing: Gil/Nick
Rating: R
Warnings: character death
Note: Song: "Vincent" by Don McLean. I took a small liberty with one word in this song.
Summary: Grave Danger songfic.

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Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and gray
Look out on a summer's day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul



Gil sat at his kitchen table, a glass of Glenlivet scotch in his hand. He took a deep swallow, letting the liquor burn its way down his throat. The events of the last week kept playing through his mind like a bad dream on repeat. The images of Nick in the coffin, trying desperately to stay alive, then slowly losing hope of rescue. Watching him say his final goodbyes into the tape recorder, not being able to hear him, but able to read his lips, the words pouring forth in a desperate stream of I love you's and I'll miss you's and Grissom I'm sorry I disappointed you until his words became screams of pain as the ants ravaged his body. Having to leave the lab when they finally found the location of Nick's burial, having to turn away from the only proof they had that he was still alive.


Now I understand
What you try to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now.



Knowing that Nick's air was running out, that he would slowly suffocate if they did not find him in time, everyone hurrying, hurrying, trying to remove the sandy earth from the top of Nick's plexiglass prison, only to brush away the last layer of earth and see what was left. Grissom closed his eyes at this last vision, wincing with pain that burned deep into his soul. The top of the inside of the coffin was red, blood red, covered with the remains of Nick's skull and brains. When the coffin was opened Nick's gun was still shoved under what remained of his jaw and face, his cold, ant-bit hand gripping the handle in an aptly-named death grip. Grissom barely remembered turning away and vomiting into the dirt.



For they could not love you
But still your love was true
And when no hope was left inside
On that starry, starry night
You took your life as lovers often do
But I could have told you Nicky
This world was never meant for one
As beautiful as you.



Back at the lab, having to listen to the final words of Nicholas Stokes. Bile burned in Gil's throat and stomach, churning, but it was something that had to be done. Locking himself in the A/V lab, slipping the tape into the player, putting on the headphones, closing his eyes. Listening to Nick's voice, saying goodbye to his parents, hey mom and Cisco, this is a lousy way to say goodbye, but its all I have. Telling his fellow CSI's that he knew they did the best they could to find him. Nick telling Grissom that he didn't mean to disappoint him, then the screams of pain as the ants attacked, and the click of the recorder being shut off. Then the sound of it coming on again, Nick's voice wracked with tears and pain, breathing labored, just a few more words of parting. Nick's breath hitching as he tried to get the words out, telling Grissom that he wished he could have told him how he really felt, that he had been in love with him ever since he had started at the lab, but was too scared to admit it to himself, much less the great Gil Grissom. Hearing Nick's voice crack as he told Gil he loved him, and he would miss him, and that he hoped that he would get this message, and gee Gil, I guess I let you down again, didn't I, as the recorder shut off for the final time. Grissom knew what happened next, didn't want to imagine it, but it was burned into his brain ever since the last of the dirt was cleared away to reveal the fate of Nick Stokes.



Now I think I know
What you try to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they're not listening still
Perhaps they never will.




finis

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