Title: Stay Forever
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Ryan Wolfe
Fandom: CSI: Las Vegas /CSI: Miami
Rating: PG-13
Table: 3, csi50
Prompt: 27, Stay
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Ryan Wolfe, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Greg sighed softly as he rolled over in bed, propping his head on his elbow and gazing at the man sleeping so soundly and peacefully beside him. He'd had another of his bad dreams, and after that, he needed to see Ryan, to make sure that his lover was still here.

It hadn't been one of his usual nightmares -- one from out of his distant past that could make him scream and feel like the helpless victim he'd been back then. No, this one had been a new kind of nightmare, one that he knew was born of his doubts and fears.

He'd been caught up in the dream so deeply than when he awakened, he could still feel the pain of his loss, the feeling of despair that had washed over him in that bleak place he'd been trapped in. Greg closed his eyes, reminding himself that it had only been a dream, and not the truth.

In that dream, Ryan had left him, saying that he couldn't stay here and that he had to return to Miami. He had been alone, unable to stop his lover from walking out of his life, desperately wishing that there was something, anything, he could do to make Ryan stay with him.

And there hadn't been. There were no words he could say to bring Ryan back, to make him turn around, change his mind, and stay here. He'd had to watch the man he loved leave him, every moment stretching out into a eternity that he knew would never end.

He would spend the rest of his his life alone and unloved, mourning what he could never have. He might be touched by other people in a superficial, physical way -- but no one else would ever have his heart. There would never be another Ryan. There couldn't be.

Ryan was the only person who had ever held his heart in the palm of their hand -- or ever could. And now, that heart was crushed into dust, shards of nothingness that Greg knew could never be put back together again. He was shattered, destroyed, with no hope of ever finding happiness.

Closing his eyes, Greg took a deep breath, then another, as he reached out to lay one trembling hand on Ryan's bare chest. Ryan hadn't left. He wasn't gone; he was still here, in Greg's bed, in his life, in his heart. He wasn't going to leave. It had only been a horrible dream.

Ryan was here to stay; he had no doubt of that, at least not when he was awake and cognizant of all that was going on around him. It was only when he slept and let his defenses crumble to the ground that those kinds of visions attacked him.

They definitely knew how to get to him, Greg thought, raising a hand to rub at his eyes. That was the best way to make him feel unnerved, to send fear scurrying through his soul. Just the thought of losing Ryan made him quake with terror and want to run and hide.

That wasn't going to happen, Greg told himself firmly. Not now, and not ever. Ryan would stay with him; they would be together for the rest of their lives, a united front against anyone or anything that might try to tear them apart. They were a part of each other, and always would be.

He couldn't help but wonder why these dreams had been hitting him so hard lately; was there something in the back of his mind that refused to come out, some fear that he kept hidden from himself, some reason for him to believe that he had to worry about losing his lover?

No, there couldn't be. Greg discounted that idea as soon as it took form in his mind; there was nothing in his subconscious that made him fear that his boyfriend wouldn't stay with him. There was nothing for him to worry about, nothing to be afraid of.

The one thing that still frightened him was the thought that Ryan was the sort of person to take risks at his job, to throw himself into the path of danger to protect people, even if they were complete strangers. It was one of the traits that made him the person he was.

Greg loved him for that quality, but it also scared the hell out of him. The last thing he wanted was for Ryan to take any chances that might result in him being snatched away, taken to a realm where Greg couldn't follow him. That thought chilled him to the bone.

He couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to Ryan. All he wanted was for the man he loved to stay with him, for them to build a life together, for the happiness that they'd been working towards to wrap itself around them and keep them safe in their own private heaven.

He wanted to stay with Ryan for the rest of their lives, to never leave his boyfriend's side. Even though they couldn't be with each other every second of every day, they were still partners both at work and in their personal lives, and that was more than he'd thought he would ever have.

How had he gotten so lucky as to have someone like Ryan in his life? Greg smiled as he trailed soft, gentle fingertips down his boyfriend's cheek, loving the slight roughness of razor stubble on Ryan's jaw. He loved everything about this man, the softness and the strength all rolled into one.

Ryan was his heart and soul; this man was everything to him, and more. Ryan was the part of himself that he'd thought he had lost so long ago, a part of him that had broken and that he'd thought he would never recover. But finding this man had made him whole again.

He didn't believe that anyone else could have possibly made him feel like this; there was only one Ryan in the universe, one man who he could love like this for the rest of eternity. They belonged together; there was no doubt in his mind, or in his heart, that he'd found his place.

The two of them staying together wasn't something that he would ever take for granted; Greg knew that a good relationship took work, and that they wouldn't always sail along as smoothly as they were now. They'd have their arguments, and their differences.

But Ryan would always stay with him -- there was no reason to doubt that fact. Ryan loved him, needed him, and wanted to be here. Even if they fought, he knew that they would always find a way to build bridges across any chasm that might separate them.

His boyfriend had said more than once that he would stay forever, and he believed Ryan with all of his heart and soul. Just as he would stay by Ryan's side forever, through thick and thin, whatever trials life might find to throw at them. For better or worse, until the end of time.

Greg closed his eyes as he relaxed, still snuggled close to Ryan. The nightmare was gone now, and he knew that it wouldn't come back tonight. No matter what those bad dreams tried to tell him, he and Ryan would stay together forever -- and they'd let nothing tear them apart.

***