Title: Talk To Me
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Ryan Wolfe
Fandom: CSI: Vegas/CSI: Miami
Rating: PG-13
Table: 3, csi50
Prompt: 33, Talk
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Ryan Wolfe, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Greg looked over at Ryan as he settled onto the couch next to his boyfriend, wondering why Ryan seemed so tense and keyed up. The danger they'd been in was past; Santos was in jail. He wasn't going to break out; they had nothing to worry about on that score.

So why did Ryan still seem so nervous? Was it because he'd put himself in the path of danger when Greg hadn't wanted him to? Greg knew that was probably the cause of his boyfriend's anxiety, but that danger was past now; there was no use dwelling on it.

He hated to think that Ryan was reluctant to talk to him about anything; he didn't want any barriers to exist between them, and if Ryan was uncomfortable talking about this, then he might feel equally uncomfortable about any future concerns that came up.

Greg sighed softly, wondering just how to bring up the subject. He had no idea what to say; just starting a conversation about what they'd been through out of the blue seemed far too abrupt, and he didn't want to make Ryan more edgy than he already was.

"What's the matter, Greg?" Ryan's voice was soft, but Greg could hear the worried undertone behind those words. "Even if you hadn't sighed like that, I had the feeling that something was bothering you. We might as well get whatever it is out in the open. Talk to me."

Ryan turned to face him, lines of worry creasing his brow, looking as though he wanted to get up and run away. Greg reached out to take his boyfriend's hand in his own, twining their fingers together, squeezing Ryan's hand gently as he searched for the right words.

"I'm just glad all this is over," he said softly, wishing that he didn't feel like he was dancing on eggshells. One wrong word, and he might light the fuse of the powder keg that he sensed was lurking somewhere beneath Ryan's quiet exterior, just waiting to explode in their faces.

"So am I," Ryan said, shaking his head. "I'm still not happy about having to go through with that plan, but it worked in the end, and I guess that's really the only important thing. I might have been in trouble there for a few minutes, but the cavalry showed up when I needed them."

Greg couldn't help but smile at his boyfriend's words. "That's exactly the way I would have put it," he said softly, squeezing Ryan's hand again. "I didn't like the idea of you being alone with that bastard, but it's all worked out okay, so I have to admit that your plan was a good one."

"I know you didn't want me to get anywhere near him after what he did to me in Miami," Ryan began, his green eyes focused on Greg's face, as though he was trying to see into his lover's soul. "But I had to, Greg. If I hadn't, we wouldn't have caught him."

"He told us more than we thought he would," Greg murmured, feeling torn between two extremes of emotion. He hated to admit that Ryan walking right into the path of danger had been the right thing to do, but he had to admit that without it, Santos would still be a threat.

"Yeah, and I might end up having to go to Miami and testify -- and then everything that he did to me is going to come out," Ryan said, breaking their eye contact and looking down at their clasped hands. "I'm worried about that, Greg. I-I don't want it to be public knowledge."

"I don't either," Greg said, wishing that he could think of some way to keep what had happened to Ryan out of the public eye. "But if talking about it in a courtroom is going to help make sure that Santos stays in prison with no parole, won't that be worth it?"

Slowly, Ryan nodded, closing his eyes and sighing. "Yeah, I guess it would be -- I just don't want people to pity me," he whispered, his voice catching on the last few words. "I couldn't stand that, Greg. I don't want anybody to look at me and feel sorry for me."

"I don't think anybody's going to do that." As he spoke, Greg realized that his words were the truth; there didn't seem to be anything about Ryan that anyone would pity. He was an attractive man who had a good life; there was no reason for him to be a figure of pity for anyone.

Yes, Ryan had been through a horrible experience -- but he had lived through it, he'd come through on the other side -- and that had made him stronger. He might have some scars hidden on the inside, but that wasn't something that the rest of the world had to see.

It wasn't something that either of them needed to dwell on, Greg told himself. If he brought up the fact that he hadn't been comfortable with Ryan's plan, whether it had worked out or not, he would only make his boyfriend feel guilty about all that had taken place.

There was no reason to put Ryan through that. He didn't need to feel guilty; after all, they'd achieved their objective, even though Greg had been through more than a few anxious moments himself when Santos had discovered the wire. Still, it had all worked out well.

"Ry ...." He swallowed hard, lost for words for just a few moments, until they seemed to tumble out of their own accord. "I'm proud of you. Most people wouldn't have had the guts to do what you did today. You're a hero in my eyes for being strong enough to take such a risk."

"I wish I hadn't had to make you worry like that, babe," Ryan said softly, leaning forward to gaze into Greg's eyes again. "But I had to do it. That risk was worth it, to keep you safe -- and me, too -- in the future. It was the only way to be sure we'd get him."

"We couldn't have been sure that it would work -- but I'm glad it did," Greg answered, raising a hand to stroke Ryan's cheek. "And now we don't have to worry about him any more. Just about whether or not you'll have to testify -- and there's no guarantee that you will."

"I hope not." Ryan shook his head, sighing again. "But I'm glad we've gotten our feelings about it out in the open." He smiled, squeezing Greg's hand again. "It's good to know that I can talk to you about anything, Greg. It's a good feeling to know that I'm not alone any more."

"You can talk to me about anything that's on your mind. You know that," Greg told him, his voice soft and gentle. "No matter what it is, Ryan. There aren't any secrets between us. No boundaries and no barriers. And if there are any, we'll eventually break them down."

"I know we will, babe." Ryan's voice was equally soft, a loving look in his deep green eyes as he gazed at Greg. "There might still be a few barriers, but I hope they'll come down in time. I-I'm just not ready for that yet. But I will be. One day."

"There's no hurry," Greg murmured, wondering how the conversation had come around to this. It wasn't something that he was really ready to talk about at the moment; he wanted to steer their discussion to far less serious matters that wouldn't affect their future together.

"Come on," he said, standing up, Ryan's hand still clasped in his own. "Let's go spend some time in bed. I think we've earned some relaxation after today." He tugged Ryan to his feet and into his arms, the need for any more talk vanishing the moment their lips met.

***