Title: Tattoo
Author: 10th-letter
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: PG-13
A/N: My first attempt at angst. I hope it's bearable. This is stepping out of my comfort zone. Enjoy! (?)
Summary: After a fight, Nick and Greg break up and Nick is willing to do whatever it takes to repair the relationship. Even if it means doing something he never thought he'd ever have to do.

***


"You're unbearable, Stokes!" shouted Greg, picking up a nearby mug and visibly restraining himself from hurling it against the wall.

"I'm unbearable? I'm unbearable?" Nick shouted. "I'm not the one who get's his balls in a bunch every time his partner happens to talk to someone else! For someone so gentle you sure have a strong jealous streak!"

"I have a strong jealous streak? The first time I talked to Bobby outside work, you beat the shit out of him!" yelled Greg.

"I did not! Greg, he was copping a feel! No one has the right to touch you like that except me!"

"Oh, so now I'm your property?" shouted Greg.

"That's not what I said and you know it!"

"That's what you meant! I want you out of my house before I call Dispatch, or so help me I'll hide your body the way only a CSI can!"

Nick was at the door before Greg could finish his sentence, as Nick slammed the door Greg hurled the mug at the door, shattering it into pieces. Sighing, the thin CSI grabbed a nearby broom and dustpan and swept up the shattered ceramic. He picked up a particular large piece and fell to the floor crying. It was a picture of him and Nick on the beach by his parent's home in California. Under the picture were the words: "Together Forever".

~~~

Nick's alarm buzzed for the seventh time that morning. Groaning, he slammed the snooze button one more time. It was useless, he was already awake and five more minutes wouldn't have helped his emotions any. He sat up in his bed and buried his head in his hands and silently wept. He laughed bitterly. He had done so much crying over the past two months that he wasn't sure he had any tears left. His life without Greg had been torture. He couldn't sleep, he barely ate and even Riley was beginning to comment that he had lost weight. Throwing back the covers of his bed, Nick shuffled to his shower. Opening his closet to lay out his clothes for the day, he saw a dark green button-down shirt lying in a heap on the floor. Picking it up, he looked at the label. It wasn't his size. Nick sniffed the shirt and recognized the scent immediately.

~~~~

"Nick, stop!" laughed Greg, fixing his favorite green shirt. "If you make me laugh too much, I'll burn breakfast!"

Nick ignored his lover and kept kissing Greg's neck. "I don't care." Nick said. "You." Kiss. "Smell." Kiss. "Like" Kiss. "Tommy Hilfiger" Kiss. "And bacon." Kiss. "But most importantly, bacon."

"You know, for someone who puts up such an 'aww-shucks' persona at work, you're a very odd man, Nick Stokes. I must be rubbing off on you." Said Greg, smiling and gently shoving Nick out of the way so he cold scrape the bacon off the pan and onto his lover's plate.

"You are rubbing off on me. Three times a week and more if you're horny. Maybe you could rub off on me before shift?" asked Nick, sitting down at the kitchen table.

"God, I love you." Smiled Greg. "First thing's first. Eat up, you're a growing boy."

"Yes, Daddy." Said Nick, laughing.

"Oh, maybe we can use that in bed later."

***

It didn't work. Nick had hoped that he'd be assigned a particularly hard case that he'd be able to use to occupy his mind. Maybe he'd even be teamed up with Riley or Wendy, and he could use training them as an excuse to get his mind off Greg. As if the fates were laughing at him, he was working a breaking and entering with Greg. It had been the most torturous shift of his life. They said nothing to each other the entire night. It wasn't until they were packing up to leave that Nick worked up the courage to talk to Greg.

"You left this at my place." Said Nick, removing the green shirt from his locker and tossing it behind his shoulder to Greg.

"Thanks." Replied the younger man, not bothering to look up from his shoes. The shirt fell to the floor, unnoticed.

"Greg. I can't take this anymore. We need to talk." Blurted Nick, turning around.

"There's nothing to talk about." Replied Greg, still staring at his shoes.

"Yes, there is. I admit that there's a lot in my past I need to work through and I have problems, but I'm not the only one." Said Nick.

"Oh that's rich." Started Greg, finally turning around. "You apologize for being a jealous bastard and you still manage to insult me. Face it I'll never live up to your ideal."

"That's not want I meant at all, Greg and you know it." Said Nick, closing the gap.

"Of course it is. Look, I'll admit I have my problems too, but until you work yours out, there's no future for us." Greg turned to leave, not bothering to look at Nick.

Nick sighed and sat down on the bench, hard. He knew he couldn't lose Greg. As annoying as the younger man sometimes was, he managed to bring out a side of Nick that no other previous lover, male or female, had managed to evoke. The image Nick had spent his whole life cultivating of the ladies man wasn't an entire lie. He had dated women before. Some of them he even loved. But ever since he had first met Greg, no other woman had been able to satisfy him. His last attempt to find a woman that would create the same feelings in him that Greg had been able to evoke from a simple glance was Kristy. Looking back, Nick knew that he was trying to find a woman for all the wrong reasons. Nothing clicked with them. It was pure, animal lust. Nick needed the release and Kristy had needed the protection. Simply put, they each used the other. Once things had calmed down after Kristy's death, Nick began a series of one-night stands in the numerous gay bars in the city. He had had no trouble finding willing young men to bend over for him, but he had felt the same void that he had with Kristy. At that point, he and Greg were only colleagues. Barely even friends. But just talking in the DNA lab was enough to make Nick realize that there was someone out there for him. That someone had just happened to be Greg.

"You ok, Nick?" came Catherine's voice from the doorway.

Nick sniffed. "Yeah, Cath. I'm fine."

"Bullshit. Lindsay pulls that move with me all the time." Said Catherine, sitting down next to Nick on the bench. "Come on. Tell me what's wrong, Nicky." She said, rubbing Nick's back like she had her own daughter's so many times.

"I screwed up, Cath. I screwed up bad." Said Nick, staring at the floor.

"What do you mean, Nicky?"

"I saw Greg and Bobby talking outside work one night." Explained Nick.

"So? They've been close for a while now."

"Well, I saw Bobby, gettin'a little too close to Greg." Continued Nick. "At one point, Bobby leaned forward and grabbed Greg's package and kissed him."

"Oh. I thought Bobby was married." Said Catherine.

"He is, I've met his husband before. He's a nice guy."

"Tall, black hair, Boston accent?"

"Yeah, Mike O'Leary. Maybe O'Leary-Dawson. I don't know how they worked out the last names. But I saw Bobby kissin' Greg and I just lost it. I beat the shit out of Bobby and got in this huge fight with Greg."

"So that's why I haven't seen Bobby around. But what about you and Greg?"

"We broke up. This was all two months ago. Me, Bobby and Greg all had an IAB inquest and we haven't talked to each other since."

"And do you want it to work out?" asked Catherine.

"Of course! Cath, I've never been as happy with Greg as I have been with anyone else. He makes me feel like life's worth livin'! When I woke up next to him I- I" Nick stammered.

"You felt like no matter what went wrong in the world, you could handle it because you had this amazing person in your life?' asked Catherine.

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"It's how Warrick made me feel." Catherine smiled sadly. "You need to talk to him, show him how you feel."

"I've tried. He wants nothing to do with me." Said Nick.

"Then prove to him that you still love him." Explained Catherine, mindlessly scratching her ankle. Just below the sock-line was a small tattoo of a weeping willow.

Nick turned his head just in time to see the small green picture. Smiling he finally looked Catherine in the eyes. "Cath, you've just given me an idea!' blurted Nick, jumping up and running out the door.

"Um, you're welcome?" shouted Catherine to a now empty hallway.

***


"Yeah, I want these three letters and this date on my left bicep. Oh and could you put this underneath the date" Said Nick unfolding a piece of paper. He pointed to a picture on a laminated page. "That type of writing's perfect."

"Ok, just follow me and we'll get started." Said the small woman. Her hair was jet-black and her arms and legs were covered in tattoos. "So what made you decide to get this? That is, if you don't mind me asking."

"I don't mind. I was recently in a fight with someone really close to me. This is hopefully a way to show them that I still care." Said Nick, trying not to pay attention as the machines started powering up.

"Do you still care about them?" asked the woman.

"Yes. With all my heart."

"And you think getting this will help?"

"It won't hurt. So to speak." Joked Nick.

The woman laughed. "So, I hear an accent. Where you from originally?"

"Dallas. My dad's a judge, and my mom helps out at the church. Yeah, as if I wasn't talking to them before, getting one of these would do it."

"You'd be surprised what families can survive if you just give them the chance. Your family loves you, no matter what they say."

"Yeah, I'm sure you're right. Still, I'm the youngest of seven kids, so by the time they got to me, they were kinda tired."

"Seven kids?" said the woman, surprised. "I have one brother and that's too much."

"I have one brother and five sisters. After a while we had to set up a schedule for who got the bathroom in the morning and when."

The woman laughed. "I can imagine. There. We're all done." She said, rubbing some lotion on Nick's arm. "The mirror's over there if you want to look."

Nick walked over to the ceiling-to-floor mirror and smiled, a tear of happiness slid down his cheek. "This is perfect."

"I'm sure he'll love it." Said the woman.

"'He'? How'd you know?" blurted Nick.

"Hon, most of my job is listening to people and hearing their stories. It helps them take their minds off the needles pouring ink into their flesh. Plus I've heard so much since I opened the shop that I've become a good judge of character. Relax, Tex. Your secret's safe with me" said the woman, miming zipping her lips.

Nick smiled. "Thanks. He used to call me Tex all the time."

"Well, if that doesn't work, the new ink sure will. Good luck."

***

"Greg! Open up!" shouted Nick, pounding on the younger man's front door.

"And why should I?" shouted Greg in response.

"Because I need to talk to you! Because there's something I need to show you. Because..." Nick took a deep breath and shouted at the top of his lungs, "I love Gregory Hojem Sanders!"

Inside, Greg smiled and unlocked his door. Nick panted and smiled. "We still need to talk."

"Of course. But I need to show you something." Without waiting for a response, Nick whipped off his shirt.

"Nick, that's not going to work. It helps, but it's not going to work. Too much has happened and – what happened to your arm? It's covered in bandages!" said Greg.

"That's what I wanted to show you." Nick winced as he removed the bandage. His arm was still read, but the letters, number and picture were clearly visible. Greg let out a small gasp. Written in a simple black font were the letters "GHS" and the date "5/5/75"

"My initials." He smiled. "And my birthday. Nick. I. I'm not sure what to- what's this underneath the numbers?"

"I did some searchin' around online. It's a White-Throated Dipper. It's the national bird of Norway."

"Wow. Nick, that's incredible. But you're family hates tattoos."

"They also hate homosexuality. Me havin' a tattoo is the least of the problem. I wanted to be able to have a reminder of the most important person in my life. I wanted to remember the only person in this world to make me feel complete. I wanted to remember the love I feel when I'm with you. Greg. I know I have problems. I know I have issues. But I love you and I can't bear to be without you. Will you take me back?" asked Nick, tears in his eyes.

Greg sniffed and took a deep breath. "We have a lot still to work out, but yes, Nick. I can't bear to be away from you anymore. Greg embraced Nick and hugged him tighter then he had in their entire relationship. Greg looked Nick in the eyes and smiled. "I'm sorry too." Greg leaned in and kissed Nick deeply and passionately, savoring the taste he had missed for too long. "Do you forgive me?"

"How could I not?"

***