Title: The Odyssey
By: Dee
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 51157
Pairing: Gil x 2 OMC Gil/Nick
Characters: Gil Grissom, Nick Stokes, and a few other familiar and unfamiliar faces along the way!
Warnings: V.AU and v.fluffy!
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: In my dreams they are like, totally mine!
Unbeta-ed: All mistakes will be mine

***

Gil Grissom was dissatisfied with everything; his work and his private life, such as it was.
 
 
Everything.
 
He couldn't pick one thing that had made him this way; it was an accumulation of events, his age maybe; all the things that had happened to him over the years gradually squeezing the life out of him.
 
 
He'd had a long and secret liaison with Sara, a member of his team.  He'd even proposed marriage, but he was increasingly at a loss with her bizarre depressive state, and if he had difficulty sharing, she made him seem gregarious.  She had become disillusioned with the work and left, leaving him with a letter.  They'd kept in touch, but she wanted everything from him and didn't appear to want to give anything up for him.
 
 
She came back, but not for him.  For Warrick.
 
 
Warrick's murder.  Warrick, who'd sailed so close to the wind in the months before his death, but had suddenly rediscovered his life just hours before the end.  For him to die at the hand of someone they all knew; to die in his arms.  Made it all so futile.  It made him, Gil Grissom, question his whole life dealing with sudden death as a puzzle, when death suddenly became personal.
 
 
 
Sara had been a comfort in those very dark days, if only because he could touch her and have warm living human contact when his last contact had been with Warrick's bloody carcass.  But she'd gone again and, once again, had asked him to go with her, give up everything and go with her.   He couldn't do it; he felt he had to give a little comfort, such as it was, to his team.  Some continuity.
 
 
He didn't know if the team appreciated it or not, he'd been far too removed from them for too long to really know what they really wanted.  And, since he didn't even know what he wanted, it seemed pointless trying to second guess what others wanted.  They didn't appear to need him anyway.
 
 
He didn't do atmospheres but he was pretty certain that the team had withdrawn from him when they'd found out about him and Sara.  He shouldn't have done it, he knew that, he was her supervisor, but it had been Sara's choice to keep it under wraps.  Now he was trying to think why she wanted the secrecy, he couldn't remember, exactly.
 
 
Now his most pressing problem was what to do next.  Stay.  Leave.  Do nothing.  That last option was the most likely scenario; he did that most times in his life, nothing.  Mostly it had worked, he supposed.
 
 
But now everything was wrong, his life, his work...not that they were separate things.  He had no specific 'life' outside work.  Everything was connected to work; even Sara.
 
 
But now he thought that he had to do something.  Something; before it was too late.  He was wallowing in the same sort of depression that Sara had, and he couldn't cope with her then any more than he could cope with himself now.  He felt he'd invented the word indecisive; how inadequate he felt, when he could lead major crime investigations to successful conclusions, but couldn't conduct his own life with any direction or decisiveness.
 
 
Even his office, a sanctuary he'd loved for many years, meant nothing to him anymore.  He was depressed; perhaps he should do what he'd told Sara to do, consult a professional, take some anti-depressants.
 
 
 
The very thought of telling, of speaking to a stranger about his life appalled him and actually made him feel physically sick.  It was no wonder Sara had balked at the idea, he wasn't prepared to go down that route either.
 
 
He'd taken a sabbatical to decide what to do about Sara and him.  When he'd returned he'd proposed to Sara, thinking they had as good a stab at happiness as anyone else.  If he believed in it enough then it would happen.  If Natalie Davies hadn't intervened maybe they would have eventually married.  Probably.  Possibly.
 
 
That's what he'd do...apply for a sabbatical again.  Recharge his batteries, think about it all and decide what to do.  Gil Grissom chuckled, grimly, as he remembered a very old joke...'he used to be indecisive, now he was in two minds'.  That was him.
 
 
Catherine would take the team on despite her faults, and she had a fair few, she was good at supervising, as long as she didn't allow herself to get carried away with crackpot ideas.  Reverse forensics, what the hell was that anyway?
 
 
There were so many times in the last years that he'd referred to Warrick as 'his rock', and it had been true, Warrick was calm and sensible, but had an inherent disposition to addictive behaviour.  In the end it had caused his death, he just couldn't leave some things alone.  No matter that he was right, in the end he'd died to prove it and dead men didn't win prizes for being right.
 
 
There was Greg, who was like an eager puppy, so willing and desperate to be loved.  Gil knew that Greg had an outstanding brain and he was good in the field, but he'd never be great like he'd been in the lab.  But he supposed that Greg was the nearest to a son that Gil would ever have...except he didn't feel fatherly towards him at all.  Indulgent for his impishness.  Admiration for his intelligence.  No, Greg would not really be a son of his, perhaps a favourite nephew.
 
 
And Nick?  Whenever Gil thought about Nick he almost cringed at his own behaviour; he tried not to think about it too much and had, for a couple of years now, tried to behave better towards Nick.
 
 
He'd treated Nick badly over the years and both men knew it, and yet Nick took it all and never complained to anyone.  At least he didn't think he had, because Nick was stoical.  He got on with the job; always tried to improve and he never made the same mistake twice.  He had a kind heart and an ideal disposition for the job.  Gil had never even heard him speak about his abduction.  And Gil couldn't speak to him about it.
 
 
So Gil was positive that Nick had never complained about him because otherwise he would have been fired for bullying, of that much he was sure.
 
 
As Gil thought this, he sighed.  He needed to get away.
 
 
Getting the sabbatical wasn't as easy as last time.  They were still one guy down on the team, even with Greg's improvement in the field and his promotion to CSI 3, Riley was still in need of close supervision.  She reminded him of Sara, somehow, there was something not quite right with her, but he was damned if he was going to get involved, supervisor or not.
 
 
Ecklie was adamant that he could not be spared for any length of time.  So Gil resigned and Ecklie immediately capitulated.  Gil knew it amounted to blackmail.
 
 
Gil wanted twelve months away, Ecklie offered three, they compromised on six months, and Gil's assurance that he would return.  Gil hadn't given one thought about what he might do, for the first time in his entire adult life he had time off and no specific plans.  Perhaps that was a good thing; perhaps it gave him some breathing space - to do nothing.
 
 
And so, he did nothing of any consequence at all for three weeks.  He tidied his house and garage; threw out a lot of clutter, even old clothes and bedding and towels went to Goodwill.  He sold his old Mercedes, gathering dust for years in his garage.  He didn't get the best price, but times were hard for a lot of people.
 
 
After three weeks he'd seen no one from the lab.  He really hadn't been expecting anyone to drop by, but he had no calls either.  He wasn't really surprised, since his leave of absence had been dropped on them at a shift's notice, but it confirmed what he'd thought...that he'd become so far removed from them that he was of no consequence to any of them.
 
 
He tried not to be hurt but he knew in his heart of hearts that he was.  He also knew he had no one to blame but himself.  At a loss as to his next move, he did something he would never normally consider; he booked a vacation...a proper vacation.  He would be hard pressed to remember when he'd last done something as impetuous.  He booked a flight to Athens.  His return flight was left open.
 
 
He was going to travel light and intended to go exactly where his feet carried him.  He didn't pre-book any hotels or rooms and he purchased two books to start his journey, 'The Rough Guide to Greece', and a Greek phrase book.   He told a neighbour who said she'd housesit, cancelled subscriptions and utilities but left enough money for his bills to be paid.  He also made sure he had access to his funds.
 
 
And then he left.

***

Athens was hot and crowded, somewhat like Las Vegas, but the ambience defied description.  This wasn't artificially created, it was real.  He found a room in a small hotel in a backstreet, no air conditioning, but clean.  They washed his clothing each day for a little extra.  By day he explored and by night he sat in street cafes and watched the world and the people go by.
 
One evening, nearly a week after arriving he was eating dinner in a crowded café when a middle aged couple asked if they could share his table.  He agreed and they spent a pleasant evening making small talk.  Gil found that it came easier on this vacation than ever before, he wasn't known and didn't have to live up to any expectations.  He was very gradually relaxing.
 
The couple were on vacation from England and since their children had grown up and fled the coop, they spent weeks each summer island hopping; buying a ticket for a ferry to an island, staying for a few days and then moving on, going wherever they fancied, no worries, no pressure.
 
As Gil listened to their tales of their little adventures he knew that it was exactly what he wanted to do and as they parted, Gil had already decided that it was his next step in his journey.  He made an early start the next morning and caught the bus to the port of Piraeus and looked at the ferry schedule and consulted his 'Rough Guide'.  
 
His next stop would be Tenos.  He chose to sit on the upper deck of the ferry and just relaxed and enjoyed the sun and the wind on his face.  He felt more alive and exhilarated than he had for years.  Suddenly he heard excited shouting and he felt compelled to follow everyone else to the ship's rail.  There below, in the perfect turquoise blue sea, a school of dolphins swam alongside the ferry, diving and playing for their audience.  Gil found himself laughing out loud at their sheer exuberance.  When the ferry and the dolphins parted company, Gil remained at the ship's rail.
 
He could not remember when he'd laughed so much and so happily.  He simply could not remember.  He tried to tell himself that his tears were of happiness.
 
On Tenos he took the offer of rooms from a woman on the quayside.  She walked him to her house and said that she would give him breakfast and for few Euros more he could eat his evening meal with her family.  In her broken English she explained that both her sons were trying to speak better English, so they could practice on him.  He readily agreed.
 
He ate so much he thought he might burst and the boys spoke nearly as good English as he did.  He wandered down to the small harbour after dinner for a drink in a taverna.
 
He chose one where he could sit outside, listening to local men discussing a subject that caused raised voices, anger and laughter in the space of each minute.  They made the bars in Vegas appear almost sedate.
 
He sipped his beer and watched the twinkling lights of the fishing boats out at sea.  The moon and stars were as clear as he'd ever seen them. 
 
A young man came into the bar and Gil frowned, he thought he knew him and for a few moments tried to think where he'd seen him before.  When realisation hit him, he chuckled to himself; this young man was the double of Nick Stokes.  He could well be his brother.
 
Gil's eyes followed him as he spoke to the men he knew in the bar and ordered a beer. He was well-known and well-liked given everyone's reaction to him.  He was Greek.
 
Still chuckling to himself Gil resumed his fishing boat watch when he suddenly found himself being addressed.
 
"Hey, you're American and all these nosey piss artists want to know who you are and what you're doing here?"
 
Gil was taken aback, the young man, although he'd thought he was Greek, was more likely Australian, given his accent.
 
"Well, yes, I am American, Gil Grissom from Nevada, and I'm here on vacation just travelling around doing...nothing."
 
He proffered his hand and the Australian took it and introduced himself.
 
"Nikolaos Papadopoulos, but you can call me Nik.  I'm visiting all the rellies here in Greece but I'm from Melbourne, Australia." 
 
"I...I...I..."  Gil was totally unable to speak and just held onto the hand of Nik Papadopoulos
 
"Are you alright, mate?  You look like you got slapped by a roo's tail."
 
"Yes.  Oh, yes.  No.  Sorry."  Gil took a huge breath and started again.  "When you walked in I was struck by how much you look like someone from back home, you could be brothers, and then your name, Nikolaos...well the guy you look like, I mean, really look like, is also called Nick."
 
"You're joking me?  Really?"
 
"Yes."
 
All the patrons in the bar were watching this exchange and Nik turned around and obviously told them what Gil had just said, they talked and nodded and discussed this piece of information like it was a crucial piece of evidence.  Gil stared at them as they pontificated over the information.
 
"Don't mind them mate, they're just happy to have something other than politics and politicians to discuss."
 
"I don't mind, I really don't."
 
"So this Nick, he a mate of yours?"
 
"Friend.  Well, he's actually one of my team back at work."
 
"What work do you do, Gil?"  Nik had pulled a chair out and joined Gil at his table.
 
"Forensics.  I work for the Police, examining crime scenes?"
 
"Is that right and this Nick, he does that too?"
 
"Yes, why?"  Gil sensed something change with the young Australian.
 
"Well, I can tell you that this coincidence thing is getting to be weird, because I'm a cop in Melbourne, a detective"
 
"That's very odd."
 
Gil realised that the patrons had gone quiet obviously picking up on the extra information that Nik now had.  Nik laughed as he turned back and told them of the new developments and once again they chose to discuss at length the odd coincidences of the Australian Greek boy and the man from America.
 
It was nearly two in the morning when Gil staggered back to his rooms, trying desperately, in his slightly drunken manner, to be quiet.   He didn't succeed.
 
The next morning he was up for breakfast, but had to wear his sunglasses while he ate breakfast in the courtyard.  The boys giggled and the mother smiled at Gil.  "Did you have a good time with Nikos?
 
"Nikos?  How do you...?"
 
"Everything, we know.  No secrets.  My neighbour, cousin of Nikos comes to tell me you and he drank at George's.  Big friends, you going to fish today."
 
Gil laughed.  "Yes, I am, I'm meeting Nik at ten in the harbour.   He's going to show me how to fish, but George says he knows less than me."
 
"George is right.  George knows everything.  He is cousin of my husband."
 
"Is everyone related?"
 
"Very small island."  She laughed.
 
At ten, Gil was waiting for Nik.  He had bottled water, bread and cheese and fruit. He'd remembered to bring his sunhat, high protection sun oil and his camera.
 
At ten past ten Nik ambled up looking in a similar state to Gil. "I should have said eleven; God, is it brighter today or is that me?"
 
"Oh, I think it's definitely brighter, I thought that."  And they both chuckled.
 
"Here's the boat.  A sweet little Sheila."
 
"Sheila.  That her name?"
 
"No girls are Sheila's and boys are Bruce...don't ask, it's an Aussie thing.  No, this little beaut is called, 'Persephone'."  He looked at the tiny boat with the fancy name and then at Gil.  They both burst out laughing.
 
"Shhh, we'll offend Uncle Stavros, it's his pride and joy, and he's only let me take her out in honour of you being an American."
 
"He likes me?"
 
"No, American football."
 
"Right."  Both Gil and Nik were having serious problems containing their mirth.
 
Nik untied the rope from the capstan and nodded to Gil to get in.  He was unsteady, and the boat rocked quite considerably, but he managed to get in and sit on one of the benches.  Nik threw the rope into the boat and clambered in after it; he sat at the back of the boat by the outboard, but used an oar, stored in the boat, to push the boat away from the quay and around the other little boats all set in a row. 
 
In a matter of two minutes, Nik fired up the little outboard motor and they chugged off into the very blue Aegean Sea.  The boat rocked gently on the tide-less sea and Gil made himself comfortable and watched the harbour disappear as they rounded the headland. Gil felt an exhilaration that he was certain he had never experienced before. 
 
He was, very suddenly, a man at peace.

***

Their fishing trip was memorable for at least one thing - they didn't catch one fish.
 
"I thought you were going to teach me the traditional way to fish?"
 
"Easy on the sarcasm; it's been years since I did this."
 
"No kidding?"
 
"You think you could do better?"
 
"I couldn't do any worse."
 
"Right.  Look let's find a beach and have some tucker."
 
"Tucker?"
 
"Tucker's food, mate."
 
"Right."
 
They found a beach and ran the boat ashore, it had no anchor.  They ate their lunch lazing on the beach, and then they dozed in the shade of a cliff as the sea gently lapped at the shore.
 
Gil was as content as he'd ever felt and the thought of ever going back to Las Vegas made him slightly nauseous, although, he conceded, that could have been the drink from the night before.
 
When they chugged back into the harbour from their fruitless fishing excursion, the men agreed to meet up later and have a meal at a fish taverna owned (naturally) by one of Nik's relatives...a cousin.
 
They were dry and tingling from the sun and wind and the sea spray.  For the first time in such a long time Gil actually felt happy to be alive and to be enjoying himself.  He wondered just where it was along the way that he'd forgotten how to have fun, to relax.  Maybe, he decided, he hadn't forgotten...he'd never really learned.
 
Fun and relaxation that's what it all was; he latched onto Nik, well, Nik kept asking him and then telling him what they were going to do that day or that evening.  They explored the island, they met what seemed like hundreds of Nik's 'rellies', and Gil learned new Greek and Australian words and phrases every day.  Following Greek conversations was just not an option though, the sheer speed of Greek delivery staggered Gil.
 
On the fifth day, Nik suggested going out in the boat again.  This time to go to an isolated beach only accessible via the sea; they could take a picnic and swim and relax all day and catch the rays.
 
So armed with substantial amounts of food and water, and a few beers in a cool box, they set off.  They took nearly an hour in Persephone to get to the beach and it was truly glorious - soft caramel coloured sand framed by the turquoise sea and sheer cliffs and shade that moved around the cliff as the sun moved in the sky.
 
When they'd sorted everything out and laid out towels Nik started undressing as did Gil, but Gil had swimming trunks under his shorts.  Nik had nothing.  He made no attempt to put on any trunks and, as far as Gil could see, hadn't brought any anyway.
 
"Leaving your jewels wrapped up then?"
 
"It never occurred to me that I wouldn't need trunks."  Although Gil didn't take them off.
 
"Don't want your donger getting sunbaked, yer wowser!"
 
"This Australian is nearly as bad as Greek.  I can get 'donger' and 'sunbaked' but why on earth am I a 'wowser'?"
 
"Prude, mate, keeping it all hidden."
 
"Right."  Gil, not wanting to appear to be prudish, pushed his trunks down and stepped out of them.  Not exactly comfortable, he hoped he was behaving as if he was totally, cool.
 
"We can go skinny dipping.  Nothing better than letting 'em all hang out as long as yer don't get stung by something nasty.  I don't think there's anything fatal in these waters." 
 
"Skinny dipping?"
 
"Don't tell me you don't know what skinny dipping is..."
 
 "...oh, I know what it is; it's just not something I've done for...I don't know, fifty years?"
 
"God, you are a wowser."
 
"I am?"
 
"Sure you are."
 
"Whatever you say."
 
They lay side by side and gathered their breath after the exertion of preparing to sunbathe.  Gil suddenly realised that he should plaster his donger, and his balls, with sun cream, or his jewels could be seriously compromised.  He chuckled.
 
"What?"
 
"Sun cream...on my donger."  He leaned over to his back pack and retrieved the bottle and poured a copious amount into this hand.  He applied it to his penis and scrotum and then thought that the whole area needed to be plastered, so poured more cream and set about the task. He was aware that Nik was watching and smirking.
 
"What?  I don't want to get burned and, as I said, these bits haven't seen the light of day for fifty years or more."
 
"It's okay, it's just you're paying very serious attention to the task in hand.  You don't actually relax much, do you?"
 
"No, I don't, not normally, but I have these last few days."
 
"Yeah.  Let the stuff soak in a bit and then we'll have a swim; it looks real inviting and it'll be warm too, although it might get colder further out.  You okay swimming?"
 
"Yeah, fine.  Well, I used to be, I haven't had a swim in years.  I used to live by the sea in California; moved away twenty years ago."
 
"Like riding a bike, you won't have forgotten." 
 
"You can do lifesaving?"
 
"Probably."
 
"That's very reassuring."
 
"Come on, last one in's a dickhead."  He dashed off into the sea running through the shallow water until it was deep enough to dive and then he stroked out with a powerful crawl.
 
Gil followed behind, sedately, already reconciled to being a 'dickhead'.  He chuckled again; a lot of the 'strine' slang was fairly obvious, and he certainly knew what a dickhead was.
 
The water was warm and the sand was soft beneath his feet.  Hundreds of tiny little fish were instantly swimming around his feet and he watched them, fascinated by their movement, as if they were one mass.  Nik and him couldn't even catch one fish between them the other day and here were hundreds of them still blissfully unaware of the human predator.
 
Nik was quite a way out already, and Gil thought he'd better take the plunge and hope that he could still swim.  He dived into the water and he, too, easily fell into the rhythm of the crawl.  It was like riding a bike. The water became much colder and a deeper blue as he swam away from the shore.  He steadied himself and started the breast stroke, always his favourite stroke and one for which he had considerable stamina.  Although when he had that stamina he'd been a lot younger, and a lot fitter.
 
Nik was treading water ahead of him, and Gil swam alongside and he rested too, looking back at the shore and their belongings already quite a distance away.
 
"You remembered then?"
 
"It's a good job I did; it didn't look as if you were anyway near enough to save me from drowning."
 
"You whinge like a Pommie."
 
"I take it that's not a compliment?"
 
"No way.  Cooled down enough to sunbathe?"
 
"Yes."
 
As one, they then used a lazy breast stroke action to propel them to the shore.  As Gil emerged from the water the cold had made his penis shrink.  He turned to Nik to make a comment and noticed immediately (it would have been impossible to miss) that Nik had an erection, well, at very least, half of one.  Since Nik was looking downwards, Gil didn't think he'd seen him look, so he looked ahead and tried not to think of anything.
 
They were shaking their bodies to rid them of the excess water and Gil picked up a towel to wipe his face and dry out his ears.  He wasn't sure he should have put his ears under water, but hadn't thought about it until this moment.
 
Nik shook himself like a dog might, and Gil knew that his erection was now fully fledged, there was nothing half-hearted about it.  Gil swallowed.  Was this embarrassing?  Gil didn't know; he wasn't embarrassed, at least he didn't think he was.
 
"You want a little action then, Gil?"
 
"Action?"  What did he mean; Gil's breath hitched slightly.
 
"Oh, come on, man on man, just something to pass the time of day under the sun."
 
"I'm not gay."
 
"Oh.  Oh.  Oh, well, I'm really sorry. I thought you...  Well you talk about this Nick all the time, I thought you were. My gaydar must be getting weak away from the...you know, the scene back home.
 
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to give you that impression."
 
"Not your fault, I mean you didn't do anything, I just thought you were, because of this other Nick.  You do love him, don't you?"
 
"Love him?  No...no...I don't..."
 
"You sound dead sure of that; not."
 
"I don't, I mean, I don't...think I do...I'm not gay."
 
"Doesn't stop you from loving someone, Gil.  Hell, it doesn't stop you from having a bit of slap and tickle, but if you're not up for it..."
 
"I've never done it."
 
"So what are you saying here, you wanna give it a go, or absolutely not?"
 
"Errr...neither; let me think about this."
 
"Okay, we've got all day."   Nik lay back on his towel, his erection faded a little but was still hard enough to be lying up along his stomach.
 

***

Gil lay back too.  He'd been having fun and relaxing, and now all the walls had come tumbling down.  Nik was apparently gay, or bi-sexual, or even straight but not averse to a little 'slap and tickle'.  No, he was gay, he'd said he had gaydar and that Gil had pinged it.  Well he hadn't said that exactly, he'd said that Gil talking about Nick, Nick Stokes, had pinged it and that he'd thought that Gil was in love with Nick Stokes.  How ridiculous was that?
 
He wasn't in love with Nick, was he?  No, it wasn't possible.  Why would he be in love with Nick?  He wasn't gay, but then why did he talk about Nick all the time?  As he thought these thoughts Gil knew that most of his conversations about back home had centred on Nick.
 
"What's that noise?"  Nik sat up and laughed at Gil.  "I reckon it's your bloody brain cranking up a few gears; needs oiling, mate."      
 
"I'm thinking; you've given me enough food for thought."
 
"Well, try this for size."
 
Without waiting a moment, he bent over Gil and kissed him on the lips.  Gil was taken aback; it wasn't unpleasant, in fact it was very chaste.  Nik pulled back and smiled at Gil and Gil was struck immediately just how like Nick Stokes he really was.  Without a pause Gil put his arm around Nik's neck and pulled him down to him and they kissed.
 
And kissed.  For a few minutes.  When Nik's tongue pushed its way into Gil's mouth and explored, it didn't meet any resistance.
 
When he pulled back up for air, laughing, Nik glanced down at Gil's erection which now was just as proud as his own.
 
"It didn't take you long to catch on then?"
 
"Apparently not.  Am I gay, do you think?"
 
"No idea, mate.  I bet you're not entirely straight though, because a straight guy would have clobbered me."
 
"You are gay?"
 
"Yes, sir; that's why I took this leave of absence you know, for three months, to get over a break-up; been with a guy for eight years and he up and left, got himself a younger model and I'm only fucking thirty three for Chrissakes."
 
"Do your Greek...rellies know?"
 
"About the gay - that would be a 'no'.  Well I think it is, I've never told them and although Mom and Dad are just about okay with it, they're not exactly paid-up members of the fan club.  So Gilberto, you wanna try a little male on male action, nothing involving the freckle, so don't panic."
 
"What in God's name is 'the freckle'?"
 
"Your asshole?"
 
"The freckle.  Right.  What do you propose doing, or what are we..."
 
"Let's play it by ear.  You don't like, you stop me...okay?"
 
"I'm okay with that."
 
"For a straight guy you're being very accommodating, you're not going to pull a fast one are you?"
 
"What do you mean by that?"
 
"Get me all lathered up and then scream 'abuse'?"
 
"No, I'm not."
 
"Okay."
 
"Okay."
 
"Bloody hell, I've gone all nervous now."
 
"Here."
 
Gil put his arm around Nik's neck and pulled him down again.  They kissed softly and this time Gil's tongue went in search of its counterpart.  They gently wrapped their tongues around each other's.  Gil was thinking a little as he enjoyed his first proper kiss with a man.  Enjoyed.  That was the key, this was enjoyable.  He wasn't worried about clashing their teeth together or pushing too far or not far enough, he was just enjoying it.
 
Nik pulled away and smiled down at Gil.  "I think you've got the hang of it."
 
"Kissing's kissing isn't it?"
 
"Yeah, what about this?"  And he latched his mouth on Gil's right nipple, tugging and teething and licking and in moments Gil was squirming under him.  This assault was far greater than any other he'd encountered from a woman...women tended to be fairly gentle, with him anyway.  This was not gentle.  It wasn't painful.  It was firm and it was arousing...his last thought, as he bucked up towards Nik. 
 
He pulled Nik's head up from the nipple and brought their mouths together into a punishing kiss, hard and demanding and Nik bucked his hips against Gil's side and Gil felt the heat and hardness of another man's erection for the first time.  Was he worried?  Was he panicked?  Was he hell!
 
Receiving encouragement, Nik moved almost on top of Gil and began pushing his hard-on against Gil's stomach.  Gil started matching his thrusts and Nik pulled back from him to grasp Gil's erection.
 
Gil gasped.  The strength and size of the hand was like his own when he jerked off, but it wasn't his own hand.  It was another man's hand...and it was great.
 
Gil took the opportunity to attack Nik's neck and Nik moved to let him, murmuring as Gil licked and nipped around his ear, his neck and his jaw, ending back on his lips.  Nik pulled back from Gil.
 
"You've caught on quick."
 
"It's not any different, is it really, it's just that you're...we're...both men."
 
"Yeah.  I'm gonna come really fast, you wanna do that, and then later we can do it again."
 
"Later?  I'm twenty years older than you."
 
"You'll be okay, wait and see."  He smiled and pushing his body up grasped both penises together, causing Gil to buck his ass off the ground.
 
"Be careful not...to get...sand...hurt...."
 
"Too bloody true.  I've got no lubricant; where's your sun cream?"  He leaned over Gil to get at his back pack to retrieve the cream and let go of the penises.  Gil was immediately bucking up for him to hold his hard-on.  He wanted this.  Fast, like Nik had said.
 
Awkward as it was, Nik flicked the bottle open and squirted cream onto Gil's hand, and then guided the hand, quite willingly, to their erections, so that Gil could feel them together.
 
He did so and rubbed the cream around them; this was an enlightening experience.  With women he could only imagine what they felt, but now he knew what Nik would be feeling, he had terms of reference for this.
 
"Good?"
 
"Yeah.'  Breathless and whispered, it was all Gil could manage.
 
Nik put his hand over Gil's and together the hands followed that time honoured tradition, pumping, twisting and tugging at their hard-ons.
 
Nik was kissing Gil again, and pushing his tongue nearly down Gil's throat; it wasn't unpleasant, it was an all-consuming sensation for Gil, as if Nik wanted to be as close as he physically could be to Gil.  This was causing an overload of his senses.  When Nik had finished with his mouth and tongue, and maybe even his tonsils, he transferred his attention and his mouth back to Gil's nipples and nipped and sucked at them until they felt swollen, but Gil couldn't feel much else than the hardness and desperation to pump and expel from his penis.  The feeling was indescribable; hard and throbbing and as hot as he'd ever felt it; just too much to even take in, the desperation to pump.
 
He was right on the verge and repositioning his fist even tighter and faster around both penises with Nik's hand also in the equation, he knew that the journey had begun.
 
Gil bucked wildly into their joined hands as Nik did the same.  Nik was repeating the word 'yes' over and over in increasing intensity until he was virtually shouting it; Gil was less vocal but equally intense but strained out an 'arghhh' as his ejaculation overtook him and streams of semen flew out of his penis and over their hands and their stomachs.  Not one second later, Nik's fluid did the same, taking almost the same trajectory.
 
Nik almost fell on top of Gil as he gasped for breath, the heat of the semen joining the heat and sweat of their bodies.  Gil could hardly breathe with Nik on top of him, but had neither the breath nor the energy to tell him to move or to shove him out of the way.
 
Luckily for him, just as the lack of oxygen was causing him to see stars, Nik rolled off him and onto his back alongside Gil.
 
"Not bad..."  He gasped.  "...for a beginner and you didn't clobber me or stop me."
 
"Not bad at all.  What have I been missing?"
 
"Some great sex."
 
"You could be right."
 
"Right; last one in the sea's a wuss."  He jumped up with renewed energy and ran into the sea making a great deal of splashing water.  "Come on; rinse the jizz off before it dries in the heat."
 
"Are you polluting the beautiful sea?"
 
"You think a couple of ounces of jizz is going to hurt when you have tankers spilling millions of gallons of crude?  Don't tell me you don't take a slash in the water."
 
"Piss?  Well, I haven't done for many years, I can assure you."
 
"You will before the day's out, because if you do it on the beach it'll stink."
 
"Good point."
 
"So get that substantial ass in the water."
 
"Are you calling me fat?"
 
"Yeah, you could do with losing a couple of stones."
 
"I've just...just had sex with you and you're calling me fat.  What's a stone, sixteen pounds?"
 
"Fourteen.  Well perhaps only twenty pounds then.  It actually suits you, but you should think of your health."
 
"So I'm fat and in poor shape, anything else?"
 
"Nah, that'll do for now."  He splashed Gil as he made his way into the water and so Gil retaliated.  They had a fight with the water and fell exhausted into the shallow water to catch their breath.
 
"I really like you, Gil."
 
"I really like you, Nik."
 
"I'm not in love with you or anything, this is just, you know, convenient."
 
"So, fat, unfit, a convenient fuck.  Anything else?"
 
"Well we ain't fucked...yet."
 
"No."
 
"Don't panic, I wouldn't expect a holiday romance to put out for me."
 
"Thank God for that.  I think that may be a step too far, at the moment."
 
"Gil, I'm going to Skiathos the day after tomorrow, more rellies, on my Dad's side this time.  Do you want to come with?"

***

Gil didn't have to think about the invitation for long.  "I'd like to, if it's not too much for you to take a fat old man with you."
 
"Now I never said you were old."
 
"No, you didn't.  How old was your partner?"
 
"Thirty four.  The guy he went off with is twenty six.  Been knocking him off for six months, I'm a fucking detective and never suspected a thing.  I came home one day and he was waiting for me, all packed up.  That was it.  You know, I never once cheated, not once, and when he'd gone all our so-called friends came out of the woodwork and told me some pretty sordid tales. 
 
"I kinda fell apart and was on the sick for a couple of weeks and then pulled myself back together and went back to work.  Anyway, we have the option to apply for unpaid leave every three years, so I asked for four months and got it...hence the trip to see the land of my ancestors.
 
"And here you were waiting to be converted.  You're the first guy since Ali.  Alistair.  He's an architect.  I kept him for two years while he got his business up and running and I have nothing to show for it except a unit that's too expensive for me to run on my own.  I don't know whether to sell or see if I can get a paying guest, you know, a young rookie or something."
 
"A unit, is that a house?"
 
"An apartment.  It's bonzer, that's 'great', near the beach."
 
"If you sell it, will he want some of the proceeds?"
 
"Apparently not, he must have felt some guilt 'cause he's signed it over to me.  But if I did sell it, he might come back and see if he can get something out of it.  I've just...lost my trust, you know?"
 
"I understand."
 
"So this Sara then, are you upset about her?"
 
"No.  Dented pride, I think, more than anything.  I asked her to marry me, and I can't sit here next to you and tell you why.  If I loved her, really loved her, don't you think I would have been bereft at her leaving me?  Like you were for Alistair?  I wasn't; in retrospect I was relieved.  I might well have married her and stuck it out just because that's what you do, so really it's a good thing she left."
 
"Do you still see her?"
 
"No.  She's doing scientific work on a project in Costa Rica."
 
"What about this Nick, my twin?"  He laughed.
 
"I've treated him badly for years.  He's very good at what he does, but you'd think he was in need of remedial training the way I treated him.  I can see that now.  I think I need to apologise to him."
 
"Will you tell him?"
 
"Tell him?"
 
"That you've got the hots for him."
 
"I haven't got the hots for him."
 
"I beg to differ.  You're supposed to be straight and talk about this guy all the time, hardly mentioning that your fiancée walked out on you.  You've never done the dirty with a guy before, but I look like this Nick...and I'm called Nik, and you're over me like a rash...a queer rash, that is, mate.  You get my drift?"
 
"I think you've made a major leap of interpretation."
 
"You think?"
 
Gil looked away, suddenly aware that Nik, this Nik sitting in the water next to him, may well have hit the nail on the head and he, Dr Gil Grissom, famous for his deductive powers, had totally missed the point for what, a dozen years?
 
"Let's get something to eat and drink.  Sex is a great appetiser."
 
"Yeah.  Got to watch my figure, though."
 
"Hit a nerve there, have I?"
 
"Maybe you have.  Maybe I've been a fool for years and years, and sitting here, naked as the day I was born, talking to a comparative stranger I'm realising that I've been a fucking idiot.  It's a sobering thought."
 
"Yeah.  Come on, let's have a tinnie."
 
"A tinnie?"
 
"A tube, a four x, a beer, man.  God, don't you speak English in America?"
 
"Not this kind of English.  Besides which, the beer is in bottles."
 
"Ooooh, aren't we rattled now."
 
"No.  I'm not at all rattled, Nik.  Actually, I think you might have done me a massive favour."
 
"That's good, man, that's bonzer."  He grinned...just like Nick, Gil thought.
 
The men ate a hearty lunch and drank two beers each.  They lay on their towels at the bottom of the cliff for a little shade and dozed in the heat.  Nik reached over and held Gil's hand and Gil squeezed his fingers.  As he fell asleep he realised that he felt more intimate with Nik lying naked on a Greek beach than he'd ever felt with Sara, with anyone before.
 
When they awoke they went out to swim again.  Just doing a few lazy stokes to stay afloat.
 
"Ready for round two, Gil?"
 
"Don't know."  He was breathless after his exertion, but even as he said it he felt a surge of blood to his cock.  He smirked at Nik, who laughed, having understood immediately, what had just happened to Gil.
 
Nik struck out with a fast crawl back towards the beach.  Gil followed sedately, using the breast stroke.
 
On the beach Nik introduced Gil to the masculine art of fellatio.  Now, Gil was no stranger to a blow job, and had often pleaded with Sara to use her mouth on him since he was liked the feel of a tongue; she had grudgingly obliged, occasionally.  But this...this was in a different league.  Altogether.
 
Nik's mouth was hot and wet; he used his tongue and his teeth and lips to nibble at the skin.  He was a man, blowing a man, so understood what a man liked and was obviously well versed in the art.
 
The sensations that Gil was experiencing caused him to call out to God to help him cope.
 
Nik stopped to laugh. "I don't think he would actually approve of this."
 
"Shut up and get on with it.  I'm going to come very quickly, should I pull out?"
 
"I guess you're clean, so I'll probably swallow.  You going do the honours for me?"
 
"It would be unfair not to...I don't know about swallowing though."
 
"You can spit."
 
"Will you stop talking and get on with it.  It's fucking bonzer."
 
Nik couldn't do anything for a little while as he laughed at Gil's extremely poor imitation of an Australian accent.
 
But then he continued working his way around the rock solid cock.  He held Gil's cock tightly in his hand and then he licked the head and tried to push his tongue into the slit; he chewed the head, not that gently, but Gil couldn't have cared less, as he gasped for breath.  Then he licked the shaft and teethed along the underside and moved back to the head and chewed and pulled at the tight foreskin and pushed his tongue under the skin and then as Gil's knees began to give way and he had to reposition his feet to steady himself, Nik swallowed him.  Gil bucked into the mouth, the hottest mouth he'd ever known in his life.
 
Nik was sucking and blowing with ferocious force and Gil was groaning.  He could feel Nik's tongue swirling around his cock.  He was trying, desperately to hold off his orgasm, but the experience of it all, the heat, the wetness; it was almost too much to bear.  His cock was throbbing and it was fit to burst, the pressure almost unbearable.
 
And then Nik swallowed some more and the tip of Gil's cock was sucked down into Nik's throat and Nik was humming, he was fucking humming around the hard flesh and Gil was coming.  Unexpectedly; taking him by surprise as he sent spurt after spurt down Nik's throat.  He didn't know what was hotter, the throat, his cock, his balls, his belly or the sun on his head.
 
He howled as he climaxed and knew that he would have to sink down onto his knees, if not his back.  He was spent, fully, completely, more so that he'd ever been in his life.
 
Gil started to crumble and Nik let his cock go. Gil sank down to his knees and he was seeing stars and gasping for breath.
 
"Hurry up and get your breath; I'm dying here, man, God, to feel a hot mouth again.  Come on."
 
"H...hardly breathe here, you've done...that.  Be a minute...hold on." Gil sat back from his knees, onto the towel he'd been standing on.  "I won't be able to stand and do it."  He reached over and grabbed a bottle of water and took a long drink from it, little dribbles running down his chin.
 
"That'll be my jizz in a minute.  I take it you liked that?"
 
"That was just about, no, it was the very best blowjob I've ever had - thank you very much, Nik."
 
"You're welcome.  Ready?"  He swung his hard-on into Gil's line of vision.
 
"As I'll ever be.  Never done this before, so bear with me."
 
"Can't go wrong.  Do to me what you like being done to you, that usually works."
 
"I'll try but you'll have to excuse my lack of experience. This is the first time in my fifty-two years that I've ever had another man's cock in my mouth."
 
No sooner had he finished speaking than he did the deed.  Engulfing as much of Nik's erection into his mouth and licking.  He pulled back. "God, Nik, it's really salty from the sea."
 
"Quit whingeing and suck it up."  And he unceremoniously stuffed his cock back into Gil's mouth.
 
So Gil did what he thought Nik would like, just as Nik had done to him a few minutes ago. The licking, the chewing, the sucking and a few pumps and twists with his hand to go with it all; he didn't think he could suck the penis in as far as Nik had done, but nevertheless he really tried and judging by the sounds Nik was making, he wasn't being totally unsuccessful.
 
Nik was getting more vocal again and shouted out, "Jeez, Gil, I'm coming." 
 
No sooner had Nik said it, he was doing it; Gil's mouth was flooded with ejaculate, over and over again. He thought he would gag just from the amount that was being pumped into his mouth, but he swallowed, automatically, and he didn't drop down dead, so swallowed all of it as it streamed into his mouth and he was pleasantly surprised; it was salty and viscous but not in the least obnoxious.  He licked the drips off the end of a now almost flaccid penis as Nik pulled out.
 
"Man, look at you swallowing first time and cleaning up afterwards and, if I'm not mistaken, Gilberto, you have yourself another little boner."
 
Gil looked down at himself and gave himself a tug.  "Nothing there; what he really wants is a tinnie and some sleep."
 
"He's got a good brain on him, little Gilberto."
 
Nik flopped down beside Gil and then reached for the cool box and took out two beers and handed one to Gil.  They popped them open and drank the still cool beers straight down.
 
Gil reached for his sun cream and applied some to various parts and then lay down. 
 
"Wake me up before you go."
 
"Will do; I won't leave without you, I promise."
 
And they slept again.

***

The next day they just lazed around the town and met up with all of Nik's relatives as he said his goodbyes to them.  That night there was a huge party at Stavros' fish taverna and it seemed to Gil that all these Greek islanders were his family too; he felt happy and relaxed and, he had to admit, more than little drunk.  There was no way his system could keep pace with these party-goers.
 
When they left on the early ferry for Skiathos, after only three hours sleep, Gil felt every one of his years and more.  He wasn't absolutely certain that he would hold on to the contents of his stomach.  But he settled in a seat on the top open deck and immediately fell asleep. There he remained, alternately dozing and drinking terrible coffee from the on-board shop, until the ferry berthed at Skiathos.
 
He was annoyed to have missed the journey northwards, and some spectacular views and many more dolphins as they sailed from the Cyclades to the Sporades islands, but his hangover took precedence.  He was more than a little pissed at Nik too, who'd drunk at least twice as much and had as little sleep as him, but still seemed disgustingly chipper!
 
Another round of rellies greeted Nik.  This time, Gil, Nik's, 'best friend from America' was invited to join them and stay at the villa of his Uncle Dimitris.  They were taken to the other end of the island from Skiathos town, only a matter of about eight miles, from one end of the island to the other, but in a top of the range Mercedes.  These were the wealthy rellies.
 
The villa was magnificent, overlooking the bay of Koukounaries.  It was truly breath-taking and Gil was speechless.  Of course, that could have been because of the lack of brain and mouth coordination.  He made a secret promise to himself, there and then, to lay off the drink.  He could do without it, at least for a few days...or today...
 
They were shown to separate, but adjoining, rooms in the villa overlooking the plush green hillside.  They shared the same balcony and when Gil opened his windows and shutters to look out, he found Nik already on the balcony.   He grinned at Gil and nodded from his balcony door to Gil's.
 
"Easy access."
 
"Oh, God, not under your Uncle's roof?"
 
"Sure.  A bit of excitement; you need a little excitement in your life and I need a little diversion.  This'll do nicely."
 
"Nik, what on earth have I let myself in for?"
 
"A bloody bonzer time, Gil, my mate."
 
"I'll tell you now that I'll not be able to get an erection due to the stress you'll put me under, and I'll fail to pleasure you as well."
 
"You think?"
 
"No.  I don't know what's got into me."
 
"You're a cock teaser, Gilberto, a regular little cock teaser."
 
"Hey, who are you calling 'little'?"
 
"Not you, okay?"
 
"Okay."
 
"So, shall we get towels and go to the beach?"
 
"As long as it's not secluded enough for you to seduce me.  I need to sleep."
 
"Jeez Gil, you slept for hours on the ferry.  But it's a public beach, but don't bother with your cozzie, 'cause it a nuddy beach.  And don't crack a fat either."
 
"So it's a nudist beach and I don't need my shorts.  But what in fuck's name is to 'crack a fat'...fart?"
 
"Nope, a hard-on, a boner..."
 
"...give me strength."
 
"You'll get your strength up sleeping and then tonight a big party at Cousin Elizabeth's house."
 
"Another party?"
 
"Yep, bonzer ain't it?"
 
"Yes, bonzer."
 
"Don't sound so enthusiastic."
 
"I'm sorry, that's mean of me when I've been invited into your Uncle's home...but I've had one more party already than I've had in maybe ten years...or longer."
 
"No worries I was only giving you a gobful."
 
"Thank God for that."
 
Nik moved to where Gil was standing and aligning his body with Gil's, he kissed him on the back of the neck.
 
"Later."  He growled in to Gil's ear and the hairs on the back of Gil's neck stood to attention. And then there was his penis... 
 
They spent nearly three weeks based at the villa, but caught the ferry out to Skopelos and stayed with yet more relatives for a few days, and then on to Alonissos.  Unbelievably, there were no relatives on this island but a very dear friend of Nik's father lived there and they spent time with Aristos and reminisced about the old days.
 
Nik's father, also Nikolaos, and Uncle Dimitris and Aristos had all gone to Australia as young men.  To make their fortune.   All three of them had done well; Dimitris had returned to Skiathos and built up a little business empire, with his fingers and family in many different pies.  Aristos had returned because of poor health and had wanted to die 'at home', only he hadn't.  He'd been back for eleven years and seemed hale and hearty, living a good life back on the island.  Nik's father had decided to stay in Australia. All three men had married Greek girls though, even out in Australia.
 
To Gil, who was an only child with only one uncle, his mother's brother, and two cousins, the sheer numbers of the Papadopoulos family was almost overpowering, and yet all of them, without exception, accepted him as a friend of Nik's.  If they suspected more, then they didn't say and didn't appear to care.
 
When Nik was exhausted with his rellies and they with him, he decided to move on and have a proper holiday with Gil.  He explained about Mykonos.  An island that had made its tourism name by being gay friendly.  An island where no one cared if you held your lover's hand even if that lover was the same sex.
 
Nik explained that he'd never experienced that sort of freedom at any time, he was always very careful about how he conducted himself in public.  Especially as a cop, he needed to be, and so he was, discreet.
 
So the thought of being openly gay and not caring about who might see appealed to him.
 
Gil, on the other hand, wasn't so sure. 
 
He'd only known about 'the gay', as Nick called it for a matter of a few weeks, and he was a private man anyway.  No one knew about him and Sara for a long time...well over a year, and they wouldn't have known then if she hadn't been kidnapped.
 
So as they said their good byes to the myriad relatives, it was with some trepidation that Gil clambered aboard the small Olympic Airlines island hopper.  They would have taken the ferry, but Uncle Dimitris had purchased the airline tickets for them.
 
The plane didn't fly at a great altitude; it was propeller driven - so there were some great views to see out of the small windows.
 
Once through customs at Mykonos airport, they picked up a taxi and asked the driver to take them to some good rooms; taxi drivers always knew the best places...usually their own.
 
Gil had no intention of discussing his return to Las Vegas with Nik, so it came as a surprise when at dinner that night, in a little taverna in a tiny whitewashed alley, Nik broached the subject himself.
 
"Gilberto, what are you going to do when you go home?"
 
"I have to go back to work, but I don't know if I'll stay in the lab or look for something else..."
 
"...no, not about work, about Nick, my doppelganger?"
 
"Oh, Nick?"

***

Nik laughed.  "Yes, 'oh, Nick'.  What are you going to do?"
 
"Well...what do you mean?"
 
"Now don't be obtuse, Gilberto, you know very well what I mean.  You need to tell him.  You need to spell it out for him, and if you're lucky you could find yourself a Nikolaos doppelganger all of your own.  If he tells you to 'fuck off', at least you'll know the lie of the land.  But doing nothing is not an option and yet why do I feel that is exactly what you planned on doing...sweet FA."
 
"Sweet FA?"
 
"Sweet fuck all, Gil.  You want to forget about all this, don't you, but let me tell you, you won't forget and it'll keep gnawing away at you.  Tell him Gil.  Get it over and done with as soon as you get back.  Please?"
 
"You ask so nicely." Gil was being sarcastic, but Nik chose to ignore it.
 
"Yeah.  I can't believe you're so...naïve, Gil, you're nearly twenty years older than me and I'm so much more street-wise, and I don't mean just 'gay wise'.  You may be an intellectual and a regular brain box, but your life skills suck."
 
"I know."
 
"There you go.  So I'm telling you what you need to do...what you've got to do; you have a chance here.  Okay, it might be a slim chance, but you've got to grab the bull by the horns before it tosses you a bum deal."
 
"Right.  I know I do.  It's easy for you to say it though, isn't it, when it's me that's got to do it.  And you're right, I would rather suffer the, suffer...the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune...than confront a problem in my life."
 
"Bloody Hamlet got stabbed with a poisoned blade, and every bugger died.  This isn't a tragedy, Gil, not yet."
 
"How come you're being all serious and sensible?  I've not seen this side of you before."
 
"Because I like you, Gil, and want you to be happy.  I know that, whatever you say to the contrary, you want this Nick.  The only way to resolve the dilemma is to tell him and find out if he wants you back.  If you don't do that, you'll just drift around being pathetic and wondering if you're destined to be unfulfilled and unhappy; and let's be brutal here shall we...you're not getting any younger and it's about time you tried.  If he says 'no' then at least you'll know and it'll be all over...but at least you will know, and you can try to move on."
 
"Well thank you Dr Papadopoulos, I'm the one that usually gives the lectures."
 
"Am I wrong?  Am I?"
 
Gil hesitated and thought for a few moments, but he couldn't deny it.  "No, you're not."
 
"So will you do me a favour?"
 
"Should I be suspicious?  Should I say 'no'?"
 
"It's up to you."
 
"Go on then, what favour?"
 
"Make me a promise that you'll speak to Nick as soon as you get back to Las Vegas.  Do it, get it over and done with.  Promise me, because I know you're the kind of bloke who won't break a promise."
 
"I won't break a promise, but I don't know if I can promise you."
 
"God, Gilberto, how old are you?"
 
"I know, I know, but it's just not that easy, I..."
 
"...it is that easy; just promise me you'll do it, you can work out what to say when you're flying back, and then do it, as soon as you get home."
 
Gil knew that this Nik was right, he'd go on thinking about Nick Stokes and his life would be as empty as it had been before he left.  This was a chance.  It wouldn't kill him; it might embarrass him, but he'd live.
 
"I promise."
 
"There, that wasn't so bad was it?"
 
"You have no idea."
 
"Shall we give the club a miss and have an early night; what d'you say?"
 
"Yes."
 
That night, lying in the crisp white cotton sheets of the Pension, Nik and Gil made love for the first time.  They'd had plenty of sexual encounters during the weeks they'd been together, although there had been no penetration.  There still wasn't any penetration, but there was tenderness and a loving that they hadn't shared before, and Gil understood what Nik had been saying.
 
He could love Nik, but Nick Stokes stood between them and always would. 
 
As Gil lay in Nik's arms he felt warm and secure; perhaps this Nik was the answer.  But even as he lay there he knew that he wasn't.  He was saddened by the revelation, but he understood what he must do for his own sake and for Nik Papadopoulos.  He would keep his promise and confront...no...ask...no, tell Nick; he would tell him how he felt.  First and foremost he would apologise for all those times he'd made him look foolish and for all those times he appeared not to give a damn about him, his cases, or the shit that had been thrown at him.  He owed it to both Nik and Nick to do this.
 
As he fell asleep he actually felt a little easier.  He'd made a decision and he would stick with it.
 
Nik recovered his fun the next day and they hired a boat and went around the coastline trying to find a secluded beach; no such luck, it appeared that every gay couple on Mykonos, and then some, had had the same idea, only hours earlier.  Nik wouldn't intrude on anyone else's private beach, so they ended up on a public beach.  It wasn't so bad; there was a beach bar and ice cold beer and umbrellas to shade them from the fierce sun.  The temperature had risen a lot in the last few days and what had been wonderfully hot days were now turning into scorching days.  The only let up was the wind, apparently most Greek islands benefited from this warm wind.  The meltemi.
 
Gil was also attacked by the humidity.  The Nevada desert heat was dry with very little humidity and he rarely broke into a sweat but here he was sweating up a storm.
 
"Quit whingeing, it's good for you to sweat the impurities out."
 
"I'll have you know that I have no impurities, I'm as clean as the driven snow."
 
"Likely tale.  What about all the drink you've poured down your throat?"
 
"So've you."
 
"I'm not denying that...I'm sweating it out like a man, you're just whingeing like a pommie."
 
"A pommie, that's an Englishman?"
 
"A Brit anyway."
 
"I'm going to do it, Nik; you know, talk to Nick Stokes."
 
"Change the subject why don't ya?"
 
"Sorry, but I made that promise and I just wanted you to know I'll keep it."
 
"Bonzer.  Want to throw some more impurities down your neck?"
 
"Of course."
 
That night Nik did take a reluctant Gil to a night club.  'Fizz'.
 
It was loud and packed, but thankfully air conditioned.  Men buzzed around Nik like bees around honey.  But, and Gil was staggered, there were men who were hitting on him, too.  Nik seemed quite free and easy and was dancing and...smooching...Gil thought that described the sort of making out they were doing on the dance floor.
 
When a man slipped his arm around Gil from the back and whispered a few words in his ear, he thought he might actually faint.
 
"Sorry?"  He was flustered and hadn't understood what the man had said to him.
 
"Ah, you are American."  The man said in a very heavy, Gil guessed, French accent.
 
"Yes."
 
"I am French, but spent many years in New Orleans.  Are you here alone?"
 
"No, I'm not."
 
"Oh, then I'm sorry."  He smiled the most seductive of smiles at Gil and left him.  Gil didn't know what to feel; the man was maybe forty five years old and very good looking and Gil was taken aback at being approached by a man.
 
"Hey, Gilberto, looked like he was having a crack at you; why'd he leave."
 
"I told him I was here with you."
 
"Oh, right, even though I've been neglecting you.  You're a funny man, queers like to party and this is harmless fun; you could have danced with him and snogged him too."
 
"Thank you for your permission, but I prefer my men one at a time."
 
Nik looked at Gil and then burst out laughing and couldn't stop, Gil was trying hard not to join in but it was infectious and soon the pair of them were helpless with laughter.
 
They left the club about three in the morning and the party was still in full swing, but both men were tired since they'd had a heavy day sunbaking and drinking tinnies.
 
As they left the club, the Frenchman was by the door.  "You're leaving early; I hope you have enjoyed my club.  Please visit again.  Here, have some passes."  He handed them four free passes for the club.
 
"That's good of you, mate, thanks."
 
"An Australian, with an American...let me guess, a holiday romance."
 
"Yeah, sort of...we met on Tenos and have been travelling a bit.  So how long have you had this club?"
 
"Three years.   Will you come back?"
 
"Yes, mate, we will.  I'm Nik, this is Gil."  Nik offered his hand which the man took.
 
"Henri Thierry."  He took Gil's hand and held it very firmly for longer than he should have and smiled at Gil until Gil squirmed.
 
"Pleased to meet you, Henri."
 
"I am very pleased to meet you...Gil."  Gil swallowed, this was a huge come-on and he knew it.
 
"Well he's pleased to meet you, Henri, but he's with me, at least until next week, and then you can have him."
 
"Really, then I look forward to that; boys."  He smiled very knowingly and left them.
 
"Did you just rent me out to that guy?"  Gil didn't know whether to laugh or hit Nik for trading him off to the French guy.
 
"Keep your dick in your pants; I'm doing you a favour.  I leave next Monday and that guy wants you, an older guy, experienced.  It will do you good to see what the gay scene is like.  He'll look after you alright, he can't wait to get into your pants and he's obviously an influential guy.  Don't dismiss him out of hand.  Have a little fun."
 
"I don't think I want to have any more fun, you're enough for me here and I...well I might have Nick when I get back home."
 
"Wait and see, I bet he wants you Gilberto, and talking of want I think I do too, come on let's have a quickie down here."  And he tried to drag Gil around the back of the club.
 
"No.  No.  There's no way, Nik.  No way."
 
"You sure?"
 
"Completely and utterly.  Wait until we get back to our room."
 
"Okay, just this once."
 
They had sex, they had fun.  Gil was as tanned as he'd ever been, at least since he was a child.  He felt good and happy and then it was Monday.
 

***

Nik was flying out on the ten-thirty island hopper to Athens.  He then had a five hour wait at Athens before catching his flight home.  In all probability this would be the last time the two men would meet.  Neither man was under any illusion that what they had was anything more than a holiday romance, a fling...but for Gil the fling had been life changing.
 
Nik had made Gil promise to stay at the Pension and not come to the airport with him.  They'd exchanged e-mail addresses and promised to 'keep in touch'; Nik had demanded to know how Gil got on with the other 'Nick' and Gil promised to keep him in the loop.
 
When the taxi arrived, they were sharing a hug, in their room.  Gil could see that Nik was trying desperately not to cry.  Neither man wanted to put any emotions on display.
 
"It's been great, Gil."
 
"It's been great."
 
"What have you got to do?"
 
"Tell Nick, I know, stop nagging.  Thank you for everything, Nik.  I mean that, I feel as if I've actually moved on with my life for the first time in twenty five, thirty years.  I hope you find the man of your dreams."
 
"You and me, both."
 
"You and me, both."  Gil chuckled.
 
"Bye."
 
"Bye, Nik. Thank you."
 
And he was gone, just like that.  Gil, doing as he was told, remained in their room.  He sat down on the bed and took several deep breaths, but that didn't stop the tears he'd never shed before over a lost love from rolling down his face.  He let out a sob and fell back onto the bed and curled up into a ball.  And wept.
 
He must have fallen asleep again because the next thing he knew there was a gentle knocking at the door.  The cleaner wanted to clean his room.  He let her in and wandered outside; he leaned on a wall and looked across to the bluest sea he'd ever seen.
 
He hadn't 'loved' Nik, he was sure, because that huge elephant in the corner of every room was always going to be in their way.  The elephant's name was Nick Stokes; Gil wasn't even sure he loved Nick Stokes either, but he needed to find out.  And Nik was a good guy, but they weren't really that compatible, a holiday romance Henri had called it and he was right.   But nevertheless Nik had been responsible for awakening a side of Gil that Gil hadn't even suspected existed.  A latent homosexuality?  Who'd have guessed, not Gil, that was for sure, and yet once it'd been pointed out it had seemed the most obvious thing in the world.
 
Nik Papadopoulos had awakened Gil, as if he'd been sleepwalking for most of his adult life.  Now that he was fully awake, maybe, just maybe, if he was really lucky, Nick Stokes would keep him from falling back into that lethargy.  The trouble was...Gil had never believed in luck.
 
He would spend one more week on Mykonos and then catch the ferry back to Piraeus and once in Athens, arrange his flight home. There was no real rush, he still had months of leave left, but it was over.  He needed to get back and get on with his life.  He hoped it would be a new life, a different and happier life.
 
That evening he wandered down into Mykonos town and looked for a taverna to have an evening meal.  He wanted to go somewhere that he hadn't been with Nik; he didn't want to remember things they'd done together.  He stopped when he saw some prints in a shop window and went in to take a closer look.  Moments later he felt a tap on his shoulder.
 
"Gil?"
 
"Henri."
 
"I saw you walking alone and followed you in here.  Your young Australian boy, he's gone home?"
 
"Nik?  Yes, he has."
 
"Would you do me the great honour of having dinner with me?  I would be very happy to entertain you, to take your mind off your departed friend."
 
"That's very kind of you, but to be honest I think I would like to spend some time on my own."
 
"I was not being kind, Gil, I was being selfish.  But I do understand that you wish to mourn your lost...friendship.  Perhaps I could make it a little less painful for you.  I know an excellent kitchen, you will enjoy the food, I know it."
 
"Really...I don't think..."
 
"...there is no need to think, just a little conversation and excellent food and drink, what more do you need to keep you occupied?"
 
"I...I...we..."  Gil was truly floundering; he'd never been so blatantly seduced in his life, he was blushing like a pubescent boy, despite his age.
 
"There is no need to explain; please come with me."  Henri turned and left the shop and Gil, amazed at himself, quite dutifully followed him.
 
"It is a little walk, but it is a wonderful evening, is it not?"
 
"It is, but I've found that most evenings are beautiful.  It hasn't rained or even been cloudy since I arrived in Greece."  Gil was talking about the weather, the fucking weather.  He was incredulous.
 
"I must call home and tell them we have a guest for dinner."  He made a call on his cell phone speaking in French.
 
They walked slowly along narrow streets and it became less and less like a tourist area and more and more like a local area.  They came into a small but beautiful square, a church dominating one side with trees and a small fountain in the middle.  Houses made up the other three sides, villa type houses, shaded by plane trees and shrouded in bougainvillea.
 
Henri opened a heavy wooden door to one of the villas and gestured for Gil to enter before him.  Gil walked into a marble floored hall, dominated with a huge ornate staircase and doors to other rooms.
 
"Please, follow me."
 
Henri walked past the staircase to the back of the hall and threw open two more wooden doors...into a courtyard, bedecked with flowers and plants and small trees.  A small but very ornate fountain gurgled away in the centre and a wooden table and chairs nestled in the light of the remaining evening.  Candle lamps had already been lit to illuminate the courtyard.
 
Gil had to smirk; this was about the most romantic place he'd ever seen.  If Henri really did wish to seduce him, he couldn't have started off any better.
 
"You are smiling, Gil, you like the surroundings."
 
"Yes, they are very...beautiful."
 
"I am pleased that you should find my little piece of heaven to be beautiful.  My sister, Marion, lives with me as my housekeeper and cook.  She will not meet you, she has many difficulties in her life but I hope that she finds peace here with me, caring for me.  I can assure you that her meal will delight you.   She enjoys nothing better than pleasing people with her culinary skills."
 
"Then I will be delighted to eat her food."  Gil was taken aback at his response, for a moment he believed he'd been not only seduced but hypnotised by this smooth operator.
 
"An aperitif, Gil?  I enjoy a gin and tonic before my meal, but please, tell me what you would like,
 
"Actually a gin and tonic sounds just fine...very refreshing."
 
"Indeed."  Henri went to a discreet bar behind the table and a few minutes later a drink materialised.  "I have taken the liberty, Gil, of preparing the drink.  I hope the mix is to your liking.  Santé!"
 
"Santé."  Gil sipped his drink.  "It's perfect, but that's what I expected."
 
"I am pleased.  I have selected a Rose wine for our meal; I hope you don't mind a light wine to accompany our meal.  I find that Rose wines are having a renaissance."
 
"I wouldn't know; I'm afraid I'm not much of a connoisseur, I tend to like what I like."
 
"And that is good, not pretentious; pretending you like something because it has a 'label', a reputation.  I am a Frenchman and drinking Rose may qualify me for a walk to the guillotine."
 
"That bad?"
 
"The very worst.  Ah, I think dinner is about to begin, we have a cosmopolitan menu that I hope you will enjoy."  A young Greek man arrived with the first dishes.
 
"I have absolutely no doubt that I will."
 
The meal began with fried feta cheese parcels with choux pastry; they melted in Gil's mouth and were accompanied, as ever with a salad.
 
The main course was lamb, so tender it fell from the bone without the use of a knife. It had been cooked in a wine sauce and all manner of delights accosted Gil's taste buds, tomatoes, mushrooms, vegetables and the delicate flavour of herbs. The dish was served with rice and fresh vegetables.
 
But for the dessert, Marion excelled herself with a concoction of meringue and cream and raspberries, covered in a hot raspberry coulis.  Gil wasn't absolutely sure he'd not died and gone to heaven especially when Henri told him what the dish was called Heisse Liebe...or Hot Love...                  
 
"I thought you would like such a dessert."
 
"Why?" 
 
"I don't know; it just came to me."
 
They had spent the meal between eating and sipping their wine talking amiably about their work, their life, all small talk that Gil would have denied that he was capable of undertaking; such bonhomie was so totally out of character that he was stunned at his own behaviour.
 
The meal finished with a very fine French brandy and scalding hot black coffee, and although Gil knew he wasn't as drunk as he had been in recent weeks, he wasn't sober.
 
He sat back in his chair and gazed at the night sky through the trees.
 
"That was a truly magnificent feast, I would like to thank your sister for her cooking skills, if you would tell her from me - I don't think I've ever had a finer meal."
 
"I will tell her, you will make her very happy indeed."
 
"I think I must go now.  I have enjoyed your hospitality enormously, Henri, not just the food, but your company and the ambience."  Gil thought he may well be much drunker than he'd originally thought.
 
"Of course.  If you don't mind, I will walk with you to the town; it is time for my business to begin."
 
"That would be good; I may need a guide to find my way."
 
"The alleyways are very confusing, it took me many months to memorise the path to my home."
 
Henri accompanied Gil to the junction, where he would go to his club and Gil would go to his Pension.  Gil held out his hand and Henri looked at it and smiled and grasped Gil by the shoulders and gently kissed each cheek and then pressed his lips so gently to Gil's lips that Gil was hardly aware of them.
 
"Until tomorrow?  I will meet you for lunch at George's, on the beach, you know it?"
 
"Yes."
 
"At two o'clock.  Until then."  And he was gone, leaving Gil watching his retreating back.  Holy shit, if he hadn't been strung along like a virgin.  What had Nik called him...vanilla?  That was him, alright.  'Vanilla', and there was a word for Henri too...Lothario.
 
Gil walked up the path to his Pension and fumbled for his key.  He got ready for bed and looked at the bed and the absence of Nik in it.  What would Nik think of tonight's escapade?  'Bonzer', that's what he'd think.   He settled on the bed and pulled the one sheet up onto his shoulders. He was asleep before he thought another thought.

***

The next day he sauntered as slowly as he could down to George's taverna on the beach; he didn't want to be seen as being eager.  He'd spent time in the shower that morning wondering if he was being disloyal to Nik and Nick by being so smitten with the Frenchman.  And yet hadn't Nik told him to 'have a little fun' with the man?
 
He arrived at two fifteen and as casually as he could muster, since his innards were doing somersaults, he made his way to a table right at the end of the wooded bar, where Henri was sitting watching the activities on the beach.
 
"Henri."
 
"Gil. I am so pleased you came.  You worried me when you were late; I thought you would be a punctual man."
 
With just those few words, Gil felt ashamed, he was normally a punctual man and Henri had known that about him and yet here he was attempting some sort of 'coy' behaviour.
 
"You're right, I'm sorry; my bad manners after your wonderful hospitality."
 
"Please don't worry, it is nothing."  A waiter hovered beside the table.  "What would you like to drink, Gil, I have this wonderful fruit cocktail and would you believe it, it has no alcohol in it at all.  I like to pretend at lunchtime, or I find myself drinking too much."
 
"Sounds perfect."  The waiter left as quietly as he'd arrived with their order.  Gil settled in the chair beside Henri, looking out on the beach and the sea.
 
"I enjoyed last evening with you very much, Gil, and my sister was ecstatic that you enjoyed the food that she prepared."
 
"Not just 'enjoyed', it was a great meal and she has a real gift."
 
"She has, she worked in the best restaurants in Paris for many years but unfortunately she had some...problems.  Now she prefers to remain anonymous.  It is her choice."
 
"Then I feel privileged to have eaten the food she prepared."
 
"I will tell her this, she will enjoy the praise."
 
They sat in silence for a few minutes, Gil's drink was delivered and he sipped at it, a concoction of many fruits, he guessed, but not overly sweet.  It was refreshing.
 
"Would you care to dine with me again this evening?"
 
"I feel that I'd be imposing on your hospitality."
 
"Oh no, you would not.  Gil, most of the men...boys, that come to this island hold no interest for me.  But you...a man in his prime, with intelligent and interesting conversation is such a rarity that I am...overjoyed...to offer you my hospitality, as much as Marion is to cook for you."
 
"Then I cannot refuse, thank you."
 
"Thank you.  Tonight I will not go to the club."
 
Gil, looking out to sea, raised his eyebrows at that statement, he might be new to the gay game, but he knew when he was being set up.  He wasn't, actually, upset by the proposition.
 
"Could I ask you a personal question?"
 
"You may ask."
 
Gil knew that he might not answer.  "It's just, I'm just surprised that you are alone, Henri, you seem as if you should be with someone."  Gil thought he was digging himself a hole here, but he was very surprised by Henri's response.
 
"I was with a man for seventeen years, Jean-Phillipe; we ran a restaurant and bar in New Orleans for many years.  I loved him a great deal and we stayed together, but how do you Americans say, 'he couldn't keep it in his pants'.  He loved me and not them and so we stayed together.  He was HIV positive, even when I met him, and he developed Aids; I nursed him until he died, and then came here to lick my wounds.  Marion, too, had her problems at the same time, so it seemed like a good idea to do something entirely different.  So I, we, did."
 
"I'm very sorry for your loss."
 
"I missed not only him, but all the problems we had, all the arguments and all the nursing I had to do, it consumed my life and when it was over I was left with a void.  Marion...well..."  Henri looked around, leaned forward and lowered his voice. "...Marion killed her lover for being unfaithful; she spent eight years in jail and came out a broken woman.  She cannot face people anymore, she spent eight years never once being alone and now she cannot bear to be with anyone.  I know that you will be discreet about this information."
 
Gil was stunned at the revelation regarding Marion.  He hadn't given it that much thought, he just assumed she'd had some mental health problems.  But when Nik had seen Henri, he'd seen a man with knowledge and power.  In truth, he was no more than Gil, leaving behind turmoil and looking for peace.  He wondered if Henri did want to sleep with him or just have someone to talk to, to enjoy the company of a man...and not a 'boy'.
 
They spent a couple of hours in the taverna just chatting, drinking the fruit drinks and eating a toasted sandwich each - a guilty pleasure for Henri, he would not dare to tell Marion that he had done such a terrible thing.
 
At four o'clock, Henri decided that he had an excellent idea for the evening, he had a small yacht, they could take it out to sea...not too far, but far enough from the lights of the island to star gaze and Marion could prepare a picnic for them  Henri said he always enjoyed picnics under the stars.
 
"I bet you do."  Gil retorted and Henri laughed and patted his hand.
 
So at seven, on the dot, the two men boarded the small yacht - if Gil had been expecting anything bigger he hid his surprise, it had a galley and a combined eating and sleeping area and a head. 
 
Henri loaded what seemed like boxes and boxes of food and drink, but he said it was just because they were insulated that they looked as if they held a lot of food, although, Marion did take into account that they might be shipwrecked for days on end.
 
Gil laughed but Henri shrugged.  Gil looked suddenly serious and then Henri laughed.
 
It was a great deal more comfortable than the sweet little Persephone, and Gil remembered fondly the excursions he and Nik had taken in the little boat.  Henri set sail, or started the engine, and they made a fairly sedate exit from the harbour out into the sea and growing darkness.  The boat was lit with low powered lights that gave off an eerie glow, but, Gil concluded, they were very atmospheric. 
 
The warm wind still blew across the sea and when the lights of Mykonos town had faded into the distance, Henri stopped the motor and dropped anchor.  The boat rocked gently on the swell and the quietness of their surroundings made both men take a few minutes to absorb the peacefulness of it all.
 
There was just enough space on deck for two padded deck chairs and a table.  Henri insisted on preparing the table for eating, as instructed by Marion.  So Gil sat back and sipped a glass of white wine.
 
And what a feast Henri laid out on the small table.  A little of about everything in the whole world as far as Gil could see.  All cold dishes, there were savoury pastries, pates, cheeses, salad, cold smoked fishes, freshly baked bread, lathered in garlic butter, that was still warm, wrapped in its foil.  There were dips; of course there was tzatziki and taramosalata, but others, too.  Henri warned Gil to leave enough room for the sweets. 
 
"I see what you mean about being out at sea for days, there's enough here to last that long."
 
"Marion would never think of just putting a piece of bread and some cheese and fruit in a hamper...she has to go, how do you say, 'the extra mile."
 
"I can see.  It won't go to waste, will it?"
 
"Oh no, we will have it for breakfast, n'est pas?"
 
Gil laughed.  "Very probably, and the leftovers for several meals after that."
 
"Yes, we can share."
 
"Yes."
 
"May I kiss you now, Gil?"
 
"If the way to man's heart is through his stomach, shouldn't I be kissing Marion?"
 
"You tease me.  It is awkward on this boat, maybe not such a good idea after all."
 
"Are you saying I'm the first you've brought aboard?"  Gil was sceptical.
 
"This boat, yes."
 
Henri stood and moved the table from between them and then turned his chair around so that he was alongside Gil but facing in the opposite direction.
 
"A little invention and here we are."
 
Henri took Gil's right hand in his left and rubbed the back of the hand.  "I have wanted to touch you so badly since that first night in the club, you are the first man to...arouse me so...for a long time.  He released Gil's hand and slipped his hand behind Gil's neck and gently pulled Gil towards him.  When their lips met their eyes closed and as they leaned forwards towards each other, they shared their first proper kiss.
 
Henri took charge, assaulting Gil's lips with tugs using his teeth and licking along the lips to soothe them before plunging his tongue into Gil's mouth.  Gil used his tongue to run up and down the invading tongue and tasted the wine that Henri had so recently been sipping. They pulled away from each other to catch their breath.
 
"I want you, Gil.  Do you want me?"
 
"I think so, yes.  But I'm not experienced in these...in this...I must tell you that Nik was my first lover, male lover."
 
Henri drew back, clearly surprised.  "I had no idea.  I am sorry, it you do not wish to continue, please say."
 
"I do Henri, I do; but I am what Nik called, 'vanilla', so please don't expect too much."
 
"It would be my pleasure to continue, Gil, are you sure?"
 
"Absolutely, Henri, absolutely."  To prove his point he pulled Henri back into a kiss and made sure he was in no doubt.
 
When they parted again, Henri laughed.  "I am going to enjoy you, Gil...Gil.  Come, we must make up the bed; there is no room up here and I'm old enough to appreciate a little comfort."
 
"I'm with you, but we have to put the food away, we don't want Marion's food to go to waste."
 
"Oh...how dare you be so practical?"  He laughed, and they set about putting the food back into the containers.  When it was all packed away, they carried it down into the cabin.  The bed was pulled out where the dining table and bench seats were.  Henri put the food in cupboards and went back up on deck to tidy up and ensure the lamps were extinguished, but the boats lights were left on.
 
"I must be getting old, Gil; I should have just ravished you and damned the food to hell...it would have fed the fishes."
 
"And if we do get stranded, what would we eat?"
 
"Each other, as I intend that we should do so now."
 
"Really?"
 
"Ah oui, mon ami.  I think we'll have to undress ourselves in this confined space. Mon Dieu, this is sexy is it not?"
 
"'Not' I think is the right answer...and why are you suddenly using French?"
 
"Moi?  Oh, Gil, I am embarrassed, this is not how this should be, it should be smooth and sexy and not on a tiny rocking boat."
 
"Please don't be embarrassed, Henri.  Isn't this perfect, just us and the Aegean, the stars, okay we can't see them...we can look out of the window...porthole."
 
Gil started laughing and so did Henri.  Collapsing on the little bed, both men laughed until tears flowed. 
 
"I thought you were the smooth operator and I was the vanilla guy."
 
"It is supposed to be that way.  I think I am doing French men the world over a disservice.  We do have a certain reputation to uphold."
 
"I'm sure you do.  I'm going to try undressing now, okay?"
 
"Spoken like a man used to being in charge."
 
"Yes, now come on, get ready yourself or I will be seriously worried about your reputation as a...lover."  Gil suddenly realised the position he was in, about to sleep with...well the euphemism didn't really apply, he was about to have a sexual encounter with only his second ever man.

***

Henri could see that Gil was overthinking.  "What do you think of now?"
 
"This.  Me.  How my life has changed in a matter of weeks."
 
"It is entirely for the better.  Men are so much better than women, not so much trouble at all."
 
"Really?"
 
"No, not really, but it sounds good, does it not?"
 
"Yes, I suppose it does."
 
"Gil, let me make love to you?  S'il te plait?"
 
"Oui, je le voudrais."
 
"Mon Dieu..."
 
"...no, no, don't get too excited that's about all the French I know."
 
"I am excited, you excite me."
 
Gil blushed; he actually blushed.  They had both undressed to their boxer shorts.  Henri took Gil's face in his hands and kissed him, tenderly.  Gil leaned into Henri and fully returned the kiss.  They were being gentle with each other, and yet Gil marvelled at the firmness of the kiss; the way Henri, and Nik for that matter, were so firm with their lips, as if they had a real purpose to fulfil.
 
Henri broke their kiss and gently pulled Gil onto the bed, until they were lying side by side.  And then he assaulted Gil's mouth once more.  Gil thought about the men in his new life.  Nik's kisses were firm, but wet and sloppy and consuming, and now Henri's kisses were firm and dry and totally different, but still consuming...except that here he was kissing Henri and thinking about Nik and wondering if he'd ever get to kiss Nick...
 
"Is everything to your liking, Gil?   You seem distracted."  Henri had pulled away from him and was looking at him in the dimly lit cabin.
 
"I'm sorry Henri, I was momentarily distracted; you're only the second man I've ever kissed and I was musing on that fact."  A little white lie.
 
"I must be losing my touch, no one should be distracted by anything other than my kisses; I am worried."  Henri did look quite hurt.
 
"I'm sorry Henri; it's no reflection at all on your kisses.  Here."  Gil pulled Henri back towards him and kissed him as tenderly as he could.  He really didn't consider himself to be a 'kisser'; he couldn't remember any woman complimenting him on his kissing techniques.  Certainly Sara never had.  He was thinking again instead of concentrating, so he blanked out everything but the feel of Henri's lips on his own, and lay back and enjoyed it, pulling Henri almost on top of him.
 
Henri was murmuring as he kissed Gil, once more nipping and sucking at his lips. His tongue found its way into Gil's mouth and Gil used his own tongue to duel with the interloper, even pushing his tongue into Henri's mouth. 
 
Gil felt relaxed and comfortable with Henri, maybe not as excited as he'd been with Nik, but this was a different experience.  Henri pulled back to look at Gil and smiled and then attacked his neck, kissing, nipping and licking around from ear to ear and tickling Gil's skin with the tip of his tongue.
 
Gil chuckled and pushed Henri away from him just a little, so he could reciprocate along Henri's neck and then he moved down to Henri's nipples, sucking and pulling at first one and then the other using his teeth to tease and his tongue to soothe.  Henri was still murmuring, in French, Gil surmised.
 
There was no doubt that Gil was extremely aroused by Henri and his rock-hard cock was testament to that.  His mouth was nipping along Henri's jaw and along his windpipe and then up to claim Henri's lips once more.  And then down to Henri's nipples and Henri quickly followed suit licking and sucking at Gil's nipples.
 
But both men had firmly stayed about their waists until Henri suddenly grabbed his cock and almost savagely twisted and pumped it several times.  Gil couldn't help but groan out loud at the pain...no, the pleasure, no, the pain, he couldn't quite decide but his cock was in no doubt.  It loved the attention. 
 
Gil thought that Henri would use his mouth then and proceed to 'blow him', as Nik so eloquently used to say.  But no, Henri had other things on his mind.  His head and mouth moved below the cock and kissed and nipped almost savagely at the skin on Gil's inner thighs, and once again Gil's brain had difficulty deciphering the signals...was it painful or was it pleasurable.  He really couldn't decide either way, but one thing he was absolutely sure of - he didn't want Henri to stop.
 
And Henri didn't stop; Gil was almost senseless now and was lying back on the little bed trying to decide whether he really liked this or not.  Not, of course, that he wanted Henri to stop, he was sure of that and his cock was utterly convinced, but it was so new; so different.  Nik had never been this persuasive...or invasive...
 
Henri took each of Gil's balls in his mouth and pulled and sucked at each of them in turn, Gil's backside left the bed and he groaned out, "Henri, for God's sake do something with my cock!"
 
"Let him wait, it will make him more grateful."  Henri replied, his French accent so much more noticeable.
 
"Torturer."
 
"Mais oui."
 
Henri moved now to lie between Gil's legs and bent down once more to target not the cock, no, he had to wait, this time it was his perineum, behind his balls.  The sensitive skin was licked and wet and then nibbled a little.  Henri moved back and grabbed both Gil's legs and held them up and apart and once more dived down to his prize.
 
Now Nik had kept this area out of bounds as a sort of unwritten rule.  Gil's brain was not firing on all its pistons since so much blood had been diverted to his thrumming cock, beating out its own tune to Gil's heartbeat.  But he was aware of the proximity of Henri's mouth to his...
 
"Jesus Christ!"
 
"S'not bad, eh, Gil?"  Henri pulled back to look up at Gil, who's eyes were screwed up and who's breath was coming in huge gasps.
 
"No.  No."  Was all Gil could manage.
 
"You want me to stop?"
 
"NO.  No."
 
"I thought not."
 
All Henri had done was lick Gil's anus.  A long lick that tickled and incensed the bundle of nerves around the tight sphincter muscle.  Henri bent over Gil again and tried the same action and once more elicited almost the same reaction from Gil.  He licked and then pushed the tip of his tongue through the muscle. 
 
Gil gasped again, but this time his opened his eyes and he knew he didn't want this.  He wasn't ready.  Maybe some time; but not here and not now...and not Henri.
 
"Please Henri, stop."
 
"Of course.  But what is it?  You do not like?  I am clean...I have no infection."
 
"I never thought you were anything but...I do like, it's not that, it's too soon for me.  Please, I'm sorry."  Gil just wasn't ready to be penetrated.  Nik had never tried and said he wouldn't and Gil just didn't feel that he should let Henri...despite what they were doing and he wouldn't deny that it was very pleasurable, but he just wasn't ready...he didn't feel ready.  For that.
 
He was suddenly aware that Henri was speaking.  "I'm sorry, Henri; way to kill the mood."
 
"I would not, for a moment, do something with which you are not happy, Gil.  Here, let us lie a little and talk, shall we?"  Henri lay down alongside Gil and put his hand behind Gil's shoulders to move him towards him.  Gil rolled over onto his side and looked at Henri in the lamp light.
 
"I am so very sorry for ruining a good thing, Henri, please forgive me."
 
"Of course I forgive you...but there is nothing to forgive anyway.  You cannot do something that will make you feel bad, Gil, if it is not right for you, then it is not right for me."
 
"I have a lot of...issues...I think that's the word everyone uses nowadays.  Apart from anything else, I never realised that I'm gay, or at least bi-sexual.  Less than a year ago I was ready to marry a woman and I know, I knew then, that I didn't really love her, but..."
 
"You got carried away.  I think maybe you just wanted to be with someone, because your life was empty and society still dictates that a man should be with a woman."
 
"Yes.  But, I never dreamed that I was gay or...  Never.  But it took all of one minute for Nik to seduce me and not much longer for him to realise that I'm actually in love with a man; a man back home."
 
"Ahhh.  That does explain a great deal, mon amour."
 
"Well I'd like you to explain it to me, Henri, because for the life of me I don't understand it."
 
"The French philosopher, Pascal, said, 'Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne connait point'; you understand?"
 
"No, sorry, I don't."
 
"The heart has its reasons which the mind knows nothing of."
 
"Oh yes, I see.  Actually, it's ridiculous, but it's right.  I knew nothing at all about me, and yet when it was pointed out by a young man I hardly knew, everything fell into place.  How could I have been so blind, so stupid?"
 
"You are a man and men make mistakes.  We all do - it is the nature of man.  We should try and learn by our mistakes, but still we make them, often the same mistakes over and over again.  But at least, Gil, you have now discovered your mistake, you try to right it, no?"
 
"I will.  I promised Nik that I would and I will keep that promise.  I think I am an honourable man; I hope that I am, it's all I have left.  I was blind to this part of me, but now that I know, I will try my very best to right the wrongs I have done.  To one person, particularly."
 
"To this woman in your life?"
 
"No, actually she left me, she couldn't understand my indecision and I couldn't explain it, not that we talked about it much.  I'm not a 'talker'."
 
"You are doing well enough now."
 
"Yes, yes, I am, and I'm so sorry, I shouldn't be worrying you with my sad life."
 
"It is not a sad life if you have realised your mistake, it will not be sad if you can change your life.  I feel very honoured that you can share this with me; it makes me feel as if I can be your friend.  I am sad that you will not be more than a friend because I believe we could be, I don't know, much more than friends?"
 
"In another life, if this spectre of my mistake, my intolerable behaviour, was not looming in my vision all the time.  I must try to right the wrong, Henri; it's something I must do."
 
"I understand.  It makes me want you more, do you understand that?"
 
"You're a sucker for a hard luck story?"  Gil chuckled against Henri's shoulder.  "Sorry."
 
"It is true, you are, how do you say, 'on the money'.  I spent all those years with Jean-Phillipe, I loved him and he constantly belittled me, he constantly flaunted his lovers in my face, he constantly made me feel worthless, and when he was dying I held him and he said I was a fool, a fool for loving him, for putting up with him, and a fool for nursing him on his death bed.  I still love him and I cannot explain why."  Henri's voice cracked as he spoke of his lost love.
 
"We don't seem to be able to choose very wisely, you and me.  But perhaps one day you will find the man who will love you and not hurt you and I might find a love I have wanted for so long."
 
"This man you love, he is gay?"
 
"Not that I'm aware of."
 
"Oh."
 
"But then neither was I until a few weeks ago."
 
"Oh.  If this man does not return your love, Gil, would you come back?"
 
"I don't know.  I would like to say, 'yes, I will', but I don't know."
 
"Thank you for your honesty, you could have said 'yes' and I would have waited."
 
"Henri, I thought you were so sophisticated and a role model for gay...I don't know...chic, and here you are, just the same bundle of insecurities as me and the rest of us."  Gil kissed Henri gently, on the cheek.
 
"I know it; I know it."  He chuckled and hugged Gil tighter to him.  "But at least I hid it well, you thought I was sophisticated, you said?"
 
"Yes I did, you are, actually."
 
"Thank you, I like that you thought that I was."
 
"You're welcome." 
 
Gil was aware of the gentle rocking motion of the boat and was being lulled to sleep, comfortable in the arms...not of his lover...but his friend.

***

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