Title: Thinking of You
Author: Rpgirl
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: R
A/N: I DO NOT Own the song The Outsider, that's all A Perfect Circle.
Summary: Nick breaks up with Greg because he thinks his parents won't accept him. The team drags him to a concert, only to find out that Greg's the lead singer.

***

Nick groaned as Sara dragged him into the place. Grissom, Catherine, and Warrick taking up the rear.

"I don't want to come to this concert." Nick said, "Where's Greg?"

Sara glared at him heatedly.

"Not that it's any of your business, but he's in the band." Sara said.

The only two people who knew that Nick and Greg had been together were Sara and David. Greg had told them when they'd gotten together. Two weeks ago Nick had ended it because he didn't want anyone to know. Greg was heartbroken and he hadn't seen the ex-lab tech turned CSI in that time period.

"Why are they here?" Nick asked, as Sara glared.

"Unlike you, they actually care that he's doing something besides being a CSI." Sara said, as Greg came up to them.

He smiled at them, you could barely tell it was Greg though. He was wearing tight black jeans, a tight black shirt, and some form of bondage boots.* His face had makeup on it, along with glitter to make him shine.

"Hey guys, glad you could make it." Greg said, frowning at seeing Nick here.

"So Sanders, what's the name of this band?" Warrick asked.

"Uh..hehe...We named ourselves after a book." Greg said, "The Laughing Corpse."

"You aren't serious?" Grissom said.

"Very serious." Greg said, as David came up behind him. He was wearing something similar to Greg, but his outfit was red.

"Greg, we're about to start." He said, as he smiled at the others.

"Hi guys."

"You're in the band to?" Catherine asked.

"Yeah he plays the bass guitar." Sara said, as the others nodded.

"And like I said, we're about to start." David said, leaving.

"Thanks for coming you guys." Greg said, taking another look at Nick.

"It's no problem Greg." Grissom said, "You'd do the same for us."

"I probably would. Unless it was country...then I'd shoot myself." Greg said, as the others laughed.

"Good luck." Warrick said, as Greg left them.

The others walked towards where the barrier was, so they could get a good look at Greg in action.

"You did this on purpose." Nick said to Sara.

"You deserve everything you get." Sara retorted.

"It's not my fau--"

"Yes it is. You're so afraid about what your parents would say if they found out that you were gay, that you let a really good guy slip out of your fingers. Now that I think about it...you don't deserve Greg. He's to good for you." Sara hissed at him, going to where the others were.

Another wave of guilt crashed upon Nick, as he followed her.

A guy with long blonde hair, who was wearing all blue came out onto the stage.

"You guys know me, I'm Trey Good, the drummer for The Laughing Corpse. I'll be announcing the band tonight." Trey said, as the crowd screamed.

"The sexiest guitarist in the world, Jeffrey Robison." Trey said, as a man with black hair going to his shoulders came out. He waved and smirked at the crowd.

Nick rolled his eyes at the display. He could be at home watching football or sleeping.

"Our bass guitarist, David Hodges." Trey added, as the crowd screamed louder for David, who came out grinning widely.

'Wait...that only leaves Greg as the...'

"And the founder and singer of The Laughing Corpse is Greg Sanders." Trey said, with the other two.

Greg came out, as the loudest screams came out of the crowd. Greg walked over to Trey, who smirked at him, handing him the microphone.

"Hey everyone!" Greg said, "Sorry we cancelled our show two weeks ago! I had a bad breakup. So I used that time to make some songs for that person."

The crowd screamed louder, as Nick frowned at Greg.

"So we hope you like the new songs, if you don't...we don't really care." Greg said, as the crowd laughed.

"I didn't know Greg was in a relationship." Catherine yelled over the screams.

"Neither did I." Grissom and Warrick both voiced.

A weird tune filled the room as Greg's voice floated about the room.

'Help me if you can
It's just that this, this is not the way I'm wired
So could you please,

Help me understand why
You've given in to all these
Reckless dark desires

You're lying to yourself again
Suicidal imbecile
Think about it, put it on the faultline
What'll it take to get it through to you precious
Over this. Why do you wanna throw it away like this
Such a mess. I don't want to watch you.

Disconnect and self destruct one bullet at a time
What's your rush now, everyone will have his day to die

Medicated, drama queen, picture perfect, numb belligerence
Narcisistic, drama queen, craving fame and all its decadence

Lying through your teeth again
Suicidal imbecile
Think about it, put it on the fautline
What'll it take to get it through to you precious
Go with this, why do you wanna throw it away like this
Such a mess, I don't wanna watch you...

Disconnect and self destruct one bullet at a time
What's your rush now, everyone will have his day to die

They were right about you
They were right about you

Lying to my face again
Suicidal imbecile
Think about it put it on the fautline
What'll it take to get it through to you precious
Over this, why do you wanna throw it away like this
Such a mess, come to this, come to this

Disconnect and self destruct, one bullet at a time
What's your hurry, everyone will have his day to die
If you choose to pull the trigger, should your drama prove sincere,
Do it somewhere far away from here'

The song ended with a thunderous uproar. Nick glared at the man onstage with heated eyes.

"That was awesome...I wonder what dumbass dumped him." Warrick complimented.

Nick bit his tongue, and watched Greg onstage. He was moving his hips along to the beat of the next song.

***

Nick hated coming to this stupid concert. It made him feel guiltier than he had before. Not only that, but Greg was going to be the death of him.

"Everyone, we'd like to thank you for coming out tonight. Your support means a lot to us." Greg said, as David went up to his microphone.

"We'd also like to thank you guys for trying to get us a record deal. We don't need one, we just want to help entertain." David said, as the crowd screamed.

"We'll continue with a slower song." Greg said, as he turned around.

The people upfront saw Greg hold up three fingers. The three men nodded, before a slow tune floated through the room. The crowd was slightly swaying with the song.

"How long has this band been around?" Grissom asked, slightly taken aback by the statements.

"Since David joined the lab." Sara said, "It was hard for them to get fans. But they managed it somehow."

'Threw you the obvious
And you flew with it on your back
A name in your recollection
Down among a million, say:
Difficult enough to feel a little bit
Disappointed, passed over.
When I've looked right through,
To see you naked and oblivious
and you don't see me

Well I threw you the obvious,
Just to see if there's more behind the
Eyes of a fallen angel,
Eyes of a tragedy.

Here I am expecting just a little bit
Too much from the wounded
But I see,
See through it all,
See through,
And see you.

Cos I threw you the obvious
To you see what occurs behind the
Eyes of a fallen angel
Eyes of a tragedy

Well, oh well...

Apparently nothing.
Apparently nothing at all.

You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me at all' Greg sang, as he heard the crowd become silent.

"What was that to much?" Greg asked the crowd, who was still silent. It was far from what they were used to, they were used to the hard lyrics, not the depressing shit he just sang.

Someone started cheering, as the others joined in.

"That was a very awkward silence." Catherine said.

"It's because they're used to Greg screaming his lyrics. Not this stuff he just sang. See the guy he was seeing really hurt him." Sara said, glaring at Nick.

Nick looked at the ground, as a new song started up.

"Is this why you wanted me to come?" Nick asked Sara, who nodded.

"This is why he hasn't been to work." Sara yelled at him, as they were pushed forward a little.

"I can't help it if I'm scared my family will di--"

"You don't know if they would or not." Sara said, glaring at him.

Nick opened his mouth and then closed it.

He knew she was right, and he hated that more than anything.

He turned back to the stage, seeing Greg singing to his hearts content. Dancing around like an idiot, but having fun. He was next to Jeffrey and David, going forward and then going back. They were shifting their shoulders, and it looked really awesome.

"So he's over me now?" Nick asked.

"Nope. He's hoping you'll stop being a jackass and realize that it's stupid to worry about something like that. If your parents love you, they'll accept you." Sara said, as she screamed with the crowd.

Nick frowned, and continued to watch the show.

***

Greg smiled at the crowd widely. Giving a big smirk to his friends too.

"My lover tried to change me into something I didn't want to become. I searched for a while, and while I was, I wrote this song." Greg told the crowd, who screamed Greg's name.

"And this is advice for everyone; Do not try to change people, it won't work. You each have a special personality, and look. Never change that, even for your lover." Greg told the crowd, who stopped cheering.

"If they try to force you, then they aren't the one for you. The person you love should accept you for you, not for a fake you." Greg said, looking straight at Nick.

The band started up the song, as Greg took a deep breath.

'What if I wanted to break
Laugh it all off in your face
What would you do?
What if I fell to the floor?
Couldn't take this anymore
What would you do, do, do?

Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you

What if I wanted to fight
Beg for the rest of my life
What would you do?
You say you wanted more
What are you waiting for?
I'm not running from you

Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you

I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance
I know now, this is who I really am

Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you, you, you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you

Come break me down
Break me down
Break me down

What if I wanted to break?'

The crowd was speechless for the second time that night. Before the applause broke out, Sara started clapping her hands, whistling.

Nick was feeling INCREDIBLY uncomfortable now. Greg was looking so fucking smug. Just because he was a singer, and could sing about how much of an ass Nick was. The fucking nerve. Wait until after the concert. If the songs didn't lighten up, then Greg would be jumped. He didn't know he felt that way. He should have told him, not the fucking crowd.

'You deserve what you get...' Nick remembered, 'THEY FUCKING PLANNED THIS! Fucking conspiracy against me.'

"Enjoying the concert Nick?" Warrick asked.

"It's great. Fucking great." Nick said, through his teeth.

"I didn't know Greg could sing, or that he was in a band. Damn the lyrics are harsh. I feel bad for the jerk that dumped him. Who would try to change Greg? He's a great guy." Warrick said, as the others nodded.

Nick popped his neck, he was getting extremely pissed. Not at them, but at himself. Sara was right, he didn't know how his parents would react, and he'd kicked Greg out of his life. Knowing Greg was one of the only things that kept him sane anymore.

What a fucked up mess this was.

***

Nick had his head in his hand, sighing at still being here. Stuck with a guilty conscience, and loving the songs Greg was singing. He knew the other was meaning for it to hurt him, but it wasn't. Just make him guilty, as his friends kept on saying they felt bad for the poor bastard that was getting flamed up there.

"Thanks everyone." Greg said, laughing at the crowd.

Greg watched the crowd with intense eyes, smirking at them.

"Let's see how you can take this song." Greg told the crowd.

'You're such an inspiration
for the ways that I will never ever choose to be.
Oh, so many ways for me to show you how your
savior has abandoned you.
Fuck your God, your Lord, your Christ.
He did this, took all you had, and
left you this way still you pray never stray never
taste of the fruit you never thought to question why.

It's not like you killed someone.
It's not like you drove a spiteful spear into his side.
Pray for one who left you broken down and paralyzed.
He did it all for you.

Oh, so many ways for me to show you how your
dogma has abandoned you.
Pray to your Christ, to your God.
Never taste of the fruit, never stray, never break.
Never choke on the lie, even though he's the one
who did this to you, you never thought to question why.

It's not like you killed someone.
It's not like you drove a spiteful spear into his side.
Talk to Jesus Christ as if he knows the reasons why.
He did it all for you.

He did it all for you.....'

Greg ended the song, sticking his tongue out. The crowd cheered, as Greg started laughing with David.

"We're going to throw an old song at you." Greg said, "Does anyone remember Thinking of You?"

The crowd cheered as David smirked at Greg.

"The question is; Should we play said song, to make said crowd happy?" David asked, as Greg started laughing.

"But of course."

David started the beat, as the rest of the band followed. Greg got right infront of the microphone, in one move he pulled the microphone to him, it was leaning up against his body. His mouth right next to it as the words started coming out like liquid. David was smirking at the crowd still, playing his instrument right next to Greg.

Nick's mouth dropped at Greg.

'Okay scratch jumping him, I'm going to kidnap the little fucker.' Nick thought, as Warrick glanced at his friend.

"What? Are you shocked that he's taking up that stance?" Warrick asked.

"No. Shocked that he'd do it infront of all these people."

"We all know that Greg is anything but shy about his feelings." Catherine said.

"But still, he's acting crude." Nick said.

"To you maybe, to the rest of us it just looks like he's being passionate about the song." Sara said, smirking as the others agreed.

"Well-I..." Nick stopped talking, and settled for glaring at Sara.

"Take a picture Nick." Sara said, as Nick's mouth dropped again.

'Bitch.' Nick thought.

***

Greg frowned at the crowd.

"I would just like to say sorry." Greg said, as the crowd silenced.

"Not to you, but to the man that broke up with me. You don't deserve to get bashed, it's not your fault that everyone would be shocked if you came out. It's not your fault you're afraid of your parents approval. I should understand that." Greg said, looking at Nick.

Nick took a step back, not expecting that move. Sara's mouth dropped, as did David's. This wasn't the plan they thought of. The plan was to bash Nick, so he'd get so mad that he'd come out to everyone.

"So I'm not going to do anymore new songs. We're going with old songs for the rest of the concert." Greg said, "Guys, Rexall."

David glared at Nick heatedly before starting up the song. Greg tapped his foot in time with the beat. He was smiling faintly, still in the same provocative pose as before.

'I'm running out of room
Don't make me say it
There is nothing left in me
Don't make me
Too much for hotel rooms
Don't make me say it
Sleeping pills don't make me
There is no love left in your eyes
There is love between your thighs
Roll over say goodnight
A morning dog howl in the street
Cup filled tiny hands and feet
Napkin in the drain

I'm running out of room
Don't make me say it
There is nothing left in me
Don't make me
Too much for hotel rooms
Don't make me say it
Sleeping pills don't make me

There is no love left in your eyes
There is love between your thighs
Roll over say goodnight
I hate my life I hate my life
Never want another wife
I want the life you think I have

There is no love left in your eyes
There is love between your thighs
Roll over say goodnight
I've had enough of feeling sick
You've had enough of feeling sick
The sugar never helps
I hate my life I hate my life
Never want another wife
I want the life you think I have'

Greg ended the song, as the crowd cheered the bands name. Greg smiled at Nick, who just stared back at him.

"Remember, Pride is tasteless, size less, and weightless but it's the hardest damn thing to swallow." Greg said, as they got ready for the next song.

'He...just came out...on stage...' Nick thought, looking at his friends.

"Did you guys know?" Nick asked.

"We'd suspected as much...I wonder who he was dating though." Warrick said, as Nick turned around.

Sara was livid, this was supposed to be payback to Nick. Greg had cried his eyes out while writing the lyrics.

"You need to be glad that Greg still loves you. I don't know why or how, but he does." Sara said, sighing.

"He does?"

"Yes. I don't know why, but he thinks you'll come around...more so hopes you will." Sara said, glaring at him.

Nick nodded, looking at the stage once again.

'I can fix this.' Nick thought, smiling faintly.

***

Greg smiled at the crowd who were swaying back and forth together.

"Actually you know what...I want to do one more new song...It doesn't bash the person...I don't think at least." Greg said, frowning into the microphone.

"It's called Weak and Powerless. It is going to show how I...feel around the person." Greg said, as David played his guitar lightly. The rest of the band playing their instruments lightly too.

'Tilling my own grave to keep me level
Jam another dragon down the hole
Digging to the rhythm and the echo of a solitary siren
One that pushes me along and leaves me so

Desperate and Ravenous
I'm so weak and powerless over you

Someone feed the monkey while I dig in search of China
White as Dracula as I approach the bottom

Desperate and Ravenous
I'm so weak and powerless over you'

The crowd started to cheer, but then the song went on.

'Pale angel go away
Come again some other day
The devil has my ear today
I'll never hear of what you say
Promised I would find a little solace
And some piece of mind
Whatever just as long as I don't feel so

Desperate and Ravenous
I'm so weak and powerless over you
Desperate and Ravenous
I'm so weak and powerless
over you'

Greg finished the song, giving a thumbs up to David. The instruments stopped playing, as the crowd applauded the song.

Nick started in with the cheering. He was shocked that all these lyrics came out of Greg. It just showed that appearances were deceiving.

"Thanks everyone. We're going to try something...erm...a bit more fun and cheerful. How about that?" Greg said, "Because we sound Emo right now."

The crowd yelled their approval.

Greg started singing a song that'd he'd written years ago. The crowd singing along with him.

"You know what?" Catherine asked.

"What?" Grissom said.

"I think our Greg really fell for this guy." Catherine said, "And he's good at multitasking. I mean being a CSI and being in a band."

"I'm thinking the same thing." Nick said, "I bet the guy feels really bad for how he treated Greg...and would love a chance to apologize to him now."

At that Sara looked at Nick.

'Maybe Greg's new plan is working better than the original.' Sara thought.

***

"I'm thinking this is the last song of the night everyone." Greg said, "You've been a great crowd. I hope you've enjoyed yourselves as much as we have."

"And if you haven't, then you absolutely no heart." David said, smirking.

"Or brains." Jeffrey added.

"Point is, that we're glad we could entertain you. Here's the last song of the evening." Greg said, cuing the band up.

'Run, desire, run
this sexual being
run him like a blade
to and through the heart,
no conscience
one motive:
cater to the hollow

screaming feed me here
fill me up again
temporarily pacify this hungering

so grow,
libido throw
dominoes of indiscretions down
falling all around in cycles,
in circles
constantly consuming,
conquer and devour.

'cause its time to bring the fire down
bridle all this indiscretion
long enough to edify
and permanently fill this hollow

screaming feed me here
fill me up again
temporarily pacifying
feed me here
fill me up again
temporarily pacifying'

Greg ended the last word in a whisper. The crowd screamed it's approval, as Trey, Jeffrey, and David came up beside Greg. They all took a bow, as the crowd screamed one last time.

They ran off stage, all of them laughing very hard.

"Greg!" Someone called from behind.

Greg turned and saw Sara and the rest of the team coming up.

"Greg, that was awesome." Warrick said, as Greg smiled.

"I couldn't have done it without my amazing band." Greg said, as Grissom grinned.

"I liked the one..Weak and Powerless. I never knew you could sing Greg." Grissom said.

"I told you guys I could've been a rock star." Greg said, as Grissom and Catherine laughed.

"Not could've Greg, are." Catherine said, as the others nodded.

"W-Where's Nick?" Greg asked, slightly upset that the Texan wasn't with them.

"He had to jet. Something came up...he left right after your last song though." Warrick said, as Greg frowned.

"Well, we all need to go get some sleep. We all have to work tomorrow." Grissom said, letting the others leave, "Greg, I would really like to know when the next concert is."

"I'll be sure to tell you." Greg said, as Grissom smiled.

"Maybe not all rock is bad." Grissom said, leaving Greg and his band alone.

"Greg, what's wrong with you? The plan was to humiliate Nick. You just ruined two opportunities." David said.

"David, it's not healthy to hold grudges." Greg said, "Life's to short. And where would I be if I humiliated Nick?"

"In a better mood than you've been in weeks." David said.

"No, I'd be in a horrid mood. It's Nick's decision, not mine. I'm tired, so I'm not going to fight it anymore." Greg said.

"That's not the Greg Sanders I know." David said.

"Yeah well, I don't really care. If Nick wants to live a lie, he can. I'll live my life to it's fullest...even...if it means he's not in it." Greg said, shrugging.

"W-We all planned this out...and you're just going to lie back and let Nick have new girlfriends and all that other bullshit?"

"Yeah. At least he'll be happy."

David twitched before leaving Greg with the other two members.

"Greg, we don't really know Nick all that well but...he kinda seems like a jerk." Jeffrey said.

"He's not. He's a really nice guy, who is afraid of the consequences of coming out." Greg said, as Jeffrey and Trey shook their heads.

"Then he's a coward." Trey said.

"How afraid were you when you came out?" Greg asked, as Trey paled,"That's what I thought. Don't judge people, if you had a difficult time with it too."

Trey glared before leaving the stage, Jeffrey following him.

Greg just sat there for a minute, staring up at the stars. He started humming a slow tune.

"Who could say that words never hurt.
Everyday people go around always being curt.
But people know how they are underneath.
We only care about what lies beneath." Greg sang slowly.

'We only need a little time.
The time you get when you rhyme.
But who could ever understand why.
We sing they way that will make them buy.
Why don't we ever get acceptance.
Because we're different and hold a fluid stance.*" He finished, smiling at the little song he'd created.

It had made no sense to him. But it just came to him while humming. He heard a little crash, and jumped up.

Nick was standing there, holding up a microphone stand.

"Hey." Nick said, smiling slightly at Greg.

"Hi...I thought you had to leave." Greg said, as Nick shook his head.

"I didn't. I just wanted to wait till the others had left." Nick told him.

"Why?"

"Because I need to apologize." Nick said simply.

"You don't need to apologize Nicky. I was a jackass, and I didn't understand your feelings." Greg said, as Nick shook his head.

"Greg, I told you I love you over a thousand times. If I really loved you, I'd pick my family and my friends over you. Instead, I threw you away like...a rag doll." Nick said, "You aren't a toy, and you aren't supposed to be treated like one."

Greg opened his mouth to talk, but Nick held up a hand.

"Let me finish. During that concert...your songs...at first they pissed me off. I mean more than I was at Walter Gordon...but then they depressed me. Greg, I treated you like shit these last few years. I threw you aside when I didn't want you...I ignored you when I thought it wasn't important." Nick said, "But you are important...to me that is. I don't care if my friends and family hate me. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness for treating you so bad."

Greg put his hand over Nick's mouth.

"Let me talk now." Greg said, "I'm going to make this short and sweet. No, you don't deserve my forgiveness. I know this, but damnit Nicky. I have to give you it, because if I don't then I can't do this."

Greg pulled Nick into a heated kiss. Both of them melting into it. Like Greg had once said, 'Nick was fire, and Greg was ice. Nick could be an asshole when he wanted to be, and Greg could be as cold as an iceberg when he wanted to.

But one must remember that opposites attract.

***