Title: To Grissom
By: ButterfliesForHer
Pairing: Cath/Sara
Rating: PG
Warnins: GSR & character death
Disclaimer: I don't own them, if I did, I'd keep Catherine
Spoilers: Play With Fire, Season Three
POV: Catherine's
Summary: Catherine and Sara grow closer after a tragic accident.

***

"Shhhh. You don't need to speak, we can talk later." Sara tried to hold back her tears as Grissom shuddered from the pain.

He'd been shot in the thigh, and the bullet had nicked an artery. Blood seeped through his trouser leg and his face was chalky white from pain and blood loss.

"Promise me you'll eat something when you get home," Grissom said weakly, "You don't eat enough."

"I promise I will, right after I've made sure you're ok," she sobbed, burying her face in his shoulder.

"Sara, I don't think I am going to be ok," he whispered, and she cried even harder.

"I need you to look at me Sara, because I'm not going to get another chance to say this." She didn't move, but held him even closer to her, not wanting to believe this was happening.

"Sara. Look at me." As she lifted her head, more tears formed in her eyes and impatiently, she brushed them away.

"Sara, from the moment I met you, I knew you were something special. When you moved to Vegas, I was so happy, so excited and I really thought that we could be together. But we just never got the chance. You tried, but I was too afraid to say how I really felt. But I can't leave this world without you knowing this – I love you."

"I love you too," she sobbed. "I love you so much it hurts. And when you get better, because you will get better, we can be together." He smiled at her.

"I'm so glad you feel the same way." His eyelids fluttered and Sara panicked.

"Gris, please, you've got to try and stay awake. The EMTs will be here soon."

"Sara…it's so hard to stay awake."

"You've got to. You can't leave me here Grissom."

"Just remember Sara. I've loved you for so long, but I can't be here anymore. You've got to understand that."

"You're not going anywhere. Don't say things like that. I love you. I love you I love you I love you. Now please try to stay awake."

He groaned.

"Sara…" He whispered.

His eyes closed, just as the ambulance screeched to a halt.

"Grissom, the ambulance is here, you're going to be ok. Grissom, please, just wake up!" She shrieked.

He didn't respond.

"Grissom...please…" she tried to continue, but dissolved into sobs as the EMTs tried to resuscitate him.

"He's still not breathing," one of them yelled.

Those were the last words Sara heard before everything went black.

She dreamt she was back at the scene, but instead she leaped in front of Grissom and took the bullet for him.

When she awoke, all she could see for a moment was white. Then someone squeezed her hand.

"Sara?" It was Catherine.

"Cath, did they resuscitate him? The EMTs I mean. I heard them say he wasn't breathing. Catherine.." she began to cry again.

When she looked up, Catherine was crying too.

"No..no..NO!" She shrieked, trying to get up and out of the bed. She was too weak though and collapsed back against the pillows, sobbing.

"Sara, please, calm down," Catherine pleaded, trying to gain control of her emotions. She knew she needed to try and be strong for the younger woman, but it was too painful for words.

"Catherine, I need to know. Is Grissom…" Sara faltered.

"I'm sorry Sara. They couldn't wake him up." With that, she leant down and put her arms round Sara. Sara held her tightly and began to sob. Catherine began to cry too and together they shared the grief of losing someone they both loved.

Later, Sara was allowed home. She'd only been brought to the hospital because she'd fainted, and the EMTs couldn't leave her.

"Catherine…could I stay with you?" I don't think I can be alone."

Without a word, Catherine put an arm round her shoulders and led her out to the car.

…

The next day, Sara slept late. All the crying had drained her and she still felt weak when she awoke. Catherine came downstairs a little while after Sara had woken up.

"Where's Lindsey," Sara asked, when Catherine settled on the chair next to her.

"She's at my mother's house. I can't really take care of her at the moment." She looked at the floor. "I know it's a terrible thing to say, but it's true."

"What it is is completely understandable Catherine. You just lost your best friend; you're entitled to a break."

Catherine smiled at her, glad she understood.

"You seem a little better than you were yesterday."

"I think I'm still in shock." Sara's eyes filled with tears again. "Can I tell you something?"

Catherine nodded. She could grieve later; right now Sara was the priority. She obviously needed to get something out of her system.

"While Grissom was d…well you know, he-he told me he loved me." She buried her head in her arms and sobbed. Catherine stroked her hair for a while, trying to soothe her.

"Sara, that's beautiful, not something to cry about. I know he's gone, but at least you know how he really felt about you. What did you say after he said that?"

"I told him the truth. That I loved him too."

"That's wonderful Sara. It's wonderful because when he…left, he was happy. I know he was happy because he loved you and he knew you loved him. He may not be with us anymore Sara, but we'll never forget him. When you told him you loved him, you made him complete. At least you know you made him the happiest man in the world, even if it was just for a few seconds."

Sara looked up at her.

"As much as it hurts to think that he's gone, I know you're right. And I'll never stop loving him, so in a way, he's still with us."

Catherine nodded and Sara smiled tearfully.

"You look like you need a hug."

Catherine choked back a sob.

"I think I'd benefit more from some scotch." She went into the kitchen and brought back two glasses and a bottle of whiskey. She filled both glasses to the top with the amber liquid then handed one glass to Sara. They both raised their glasses and looked skyward. Then their glasses clinked together.

"To Grissom."

***