Title: Tremble
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Ryan Wolfe
Fandom: CSI: Vegas/CSI: Miami
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Ryan Wolfe, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Greg looked up from his desk as Ryan came into their office; he couldn't help smiling when he saw his boyfriend. They'd spent the last couple of hours apart; he'd been busy with paperwork, and Ryan had been working in the lab.

But even when they weren't in the same room, he knew that Ryan was somewhere in the building. That gave him a good feeling; he knew that he could easily find his boyfriend, that Ryan was within reach. It made him feel safer, more secure.

Why should he need that feeling of security so much, especially now that he and Ryan were wearing those promise rings? he asked himself. He had no more doubts or fears about Ryan leaving. His lover wasn't going to do that. Ryan was here for the long haul.

Still, he liked knowing that his boyfriend was around, even if they didn't have the freedom to express their feelings for each other openly when they were at work. He could at least known that Ryan was safe, that he wasn't off somewhere risking his life.

"What are you looking so serious about?" Ryan asked as he leaned against the door frame, his arms crossed over his chest. "You smiled when you saw me, then all of a sudden you looked like you had some thought that made you all depressed."

Greg shook his head, surprised to hear that his emotions could be written so clearly on his face. "No, not depressed," he denied, glancing at the clock on the wall and seeing that it was nearly time for them to clock out and go home. "Just thinking, that's all."

"I hope it wasn't thoughts about us that put that worried look on your face," Ryan said softly, coming into the room to stand beside Greg's chair. "You don't have anything to worry about on that score, Greg. You never will. I promise you that."

"I know," Greg whispered, looking up at the man he loved. What was it about Ryan that could make him tremble at his boyfriend's nearness? Why did this man have such an effect on him, not only his heart, but on his body as well?

Whenever Ryan touched him, it was as though an electric shock went through his body; he wanted this man more than he would have ever thought it was possible to want anyone, even though he still hadn't been able to let Ryan make love to him.

When was his stubborn mind going to let go of what had happened so long ago in the past, and realize that his future was with Ryan and that there was nothing for him to be afraid of? It already felt like they'd wasted far too much of their time together.

Ryan laid a hand on Greg's shoulder, looking down at him with a slight frown furrowing his brow? "Greg, what is it?" he asked, his voice soft, barely above a whisper. "I can tell that something's bothering you. Don't say it's nothing, I know you too well for that."

Greg sighed, looking down at the paperwork on his desk and shaking his head. "I was just .... thinking about us. About the past. Wishing that I could just let it go and we could be .... closer," he faltered, slowly looking up at Ryan again.

Ryan shook his head, squeezing Greg's shoulder gently. "Greg, don't worry about that," he murmured, his dark gaze not leaving Greg's face. "It'll happen when it's the right time. You'll know. I don't mind waiting. Believe me, you're worth waiting for."

Greg laid a hand on top of Ryan's, twining their fingers together for a few brief seconds before letting go. He glanced to the window of their office, relieved to see that the blinds were down; no one who was walking by in the hallway could have seen the gesture.

"I could feel you shudder when I put my hand on your shoulder," Ryan said, his voice still low. "That's why I thought there was something wrong. For a second there, I thought you didn't want me to touch you. Did I do or say something to make you mad at me?"

Greg's eyes widened in surprise; he shook his head vehemently, denying Ryan's words. "No! That wasn't a shudder, Ryan. I just .... I tremble every time you touch me. It's because I want you so much that even the slightest touch has an effect on my body."

"I'd like to have even more of an effect on your body," Ryan told him, bending down so that his mouth was near Greg's ear. "I want to make love to you, Greg," he whispered, his words making Greg tremble again. "I want to be inside you. I want us to become one."

"I want that, too," Greg whispered, unable to speak any more loudly. "I want us to be part of each other in every way we can be. I'm just .... scared, Ryan. I remember how it felt when he --" He broke off, shaking his head and swallowing hard.

He didn't want to be so terrified of making love. He didn't want to remember how much it had hurt when he'd been raped -- not only the physical pain, but the feeling of being violated, of being betrayed by a man he had trusted and had thought would never hurt him.

It was different with Ryan, Greg told himself. Ryan wouldn't ever do anything to harm him in any way; he wasn't anything like any other man he'd ever dated. Ryan loved him. Ryan was a part of him, in a way that no one else had ever been or could ever be.

"You don't have to be afraid," Ryan murmured, still speaking very softly into his ear. "I'd never hurt you, Greg. You know that. But I'm willing to wait until you're ready. I'm not going to rush you into anything. I can be as patient as I need to be."

"I don't deserve you, do you know that?" Greg told him, feeling tears rise behind his eyes. Ryan had been so patient, so loving, never getting frustrated with all of the waiting. He'd never once tried to push Greg into anything the he didn't want or wasn't ready for.

"No, I'm the one who doesn't deserve you," Ryan said, straightening up and shaking his head. "I don't know what I did to have you in my life, but I'm the luckiest guy in the world -- and I'm never going to forget it. Not for one second."

Ryan raised his hand to trail soft, gentle fingertip across Greg's cheek, making him tremble again. Ryan's touch was so soft, so gentle -- how could he keep this man waiting for what he should have freely given a long time ago? It wasn't fair. Not to either of them.

"I think it's going to happen sooner than either of us might have expected it to," he said softly, his gaze locking with Ryan's. A shiver went down his spine at the thought -- a shiver of anticipation, not fear. He was actually looking forward to letting Ryan make love to him.

"I hope it'll be soon -- but if it's not, then that's okay, too," Ryan told him, cupping Greg's cheek for a moment before running his fingers through the other man's hair. "I can wait, Greg. We're going to take this at your pace. It'll happen when you're ready."

Greg nodded, not trusting himself to speak for a moment. How could he not trust this man with every fiber of his being? He had no doubt that Ryan would make this amazing for both of them. There was no reason for him to be scared, or to hold back any longer.

He wanted to curl into Ryan's embrace, to feel his boyfriend's arms around him, holding him close. But this wasn't the place to do that; he would have to wait until they were at home. Then he could be naked in Ryan's arms -- and let this man have his way with him.

The fact that Ryan could make him tremble didn't scare him, or bother him -- no one else had ever made him feel this way, and it was exciting, not frightening. His trembling wasn't caused by fear, or hesitation, but by the anticipation of being with Ryan.

All he wanted was for them to go home, for Ryan to undress him and take him to bed -- and maybe this would finally be the day when he let go of his inhibitions, when he could push all of his fears away and let Ryan become even more a part of him than he already was.

"Come on, babe, let's go home," Ryan told him, stepping back and reaching for his jacket where it hung over the back of a chair. "We can talk about this more there, where nobody can hear us. Or maybe we won't just be talking. Maybe we'll be doing."

"Sounds good to me," Greg told him, getting to his feet and feeling another shiver of anticipation run through his body. This time, his trembling definitely wasn't caused by fear -- this trembling was due to excitement, and his eagerness to be behind closed doors with the man he loved.

***