Title: Uncharted Territory
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Nick Stokes
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Rating: R
Author's Note: Mentions of rape/torture.
Prompt: #415, Fate
Series: 1) The Word Is Out, 2) In the Light of Day, 3) Property, 4) Flames of Hell, 5) Bottles and Broomsticks, 6) At the Killing Edge, 7) Into Your Arms
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Nick Stokes, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Greg opened his eyes slowly, blinking a little in the darkness. Someone had pulled the shades down, blocking out the bright sunshine -- he was grateful for that. The last time he'd awakened, the sun had been right in his eyes, and he'd thought he was blind.

Cautiously, he sat up, his gaze searching the room. He'd half-expected Nick to be there, which was silly -- Nick had to go to work, after all. The department wasn't going to give him time off just because one of the people he worked with was in the hospital.

It was still hard for him to believe that Nick Stokes had said that word to him, the one word that told Greg all he needed to know. Mine. Nick didn't just care about him as a friend; Nick wanted him. Nick actually loved him.

No, he couldn't say that. Not yet. The four-letter word hadn't been mentioned, but Greg couldn't help thinking that it was there, lying unspoken beneath everything they could say at the moment. Nick loved him. Nick wanted them to be together.

Greg hugged that knowledge to him like a talisman that would keep him safe through any kind of trouble. Nick returned his feelings. He'd never have thought that was possible, if he hadn't heard that one word from Nick's lips. Mine. Nick had said that. He'd meant it.

Maybe he was still a little high from the painkillers he'd been given, but he felt ridiculously happy, in spite of his aching, bruised body. Nothing that Shane could possibly do to him could take away the happiness of knowing that Nick Stokes loved him.

Greg shifted his position, wincing as the movement aggravated a bruise on his hip. It was going to be a while before most of those bruises were gone and he could sit down comfortably -- or even lie down without flinching. Shane had really done a number on him.

He shivered as the memory coursed through his mind again; it was something he didn't want to remember, but that he knew was going to come back to him in every nightmare he had for the next several months -- hell, probably for the next few years.

Maybe he would never be able to put what Shane had done to him out of his mind. Maybe it would always haunt him -- and maybe it would intrude into his relationship with Nick. Because he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the two of them would be involved.

He didn't want to think about how it wouldn't be possible for them to tell anyone else that they were seeing each other; he didn't want to acknowledge the fact that they couldn't be open about their feelings and still work together. They could worry about that later.

Why would fate bring them together like this -- then make sure that they couldn't be open with their best friends about their relationship? Greg closed his eyes and raised a hand to his head; thinking about it was giving him one hell of a headache.

But the thoughts wouldn't go away, no matter how he tried to push them from his mind. What if Nick didn't want to be with someone who he couldn't be openly in love with? What if their relationship got off to a start now -- only to be derailed later because of department policy?

Great, Greg thought with an inward groan. Now he not only had to deal with the aches and pains of his burns, as well as the torture that Shane had inflicted on him -- but a headache, too. If only he could get more painkillers and pass all of his time in a drug-induced coma, life would be great.

No, it wouldn't, he told himself sternly. He wasn't a coward; he'd never been the kind of person to run away from his problems, even if he did have some ingenious ways of avoiding them at times. He had to deal with this one head-on, grapple with it until he found some answers.

The first thing he had to think about was how he would deal with going back to work. That wasn't going to be easy; at the moment, he didn't even want to think about being in the lab. Just the thought of working in the place where he'd almost been killed gave him the creeps.

But it wasn't as though he could avoid the lab forever. He had to go back to work -- and he had to face his fears. Nick would be so disappointed in him if he didn't, and the last thing he wanted was to see Nick look at him with any kind of disapproval.

It wouldn't be easy to deal with the pity he knew that he would see on people's faces, either. Everybody was going to see him in a different way -- as a victim. And he didn't want that. He couldn't stand the idea of people pitying him, feeling sorry for him, talking behind his back.

Was that why Nick had said those words? The thought hit Greg with the force of a brick wall, making his eyes widen and his breath catch in his throat. Maybe Nick wasn't really in love with him. Maybe Nick only felt sorry for all that he'd been through, and was trying to make him feel better.

No, that couldn't be, he told himself, his mind frantically searching for some other explanation as to why Nick had said those words. Nicky wouldn't do that. He wasn't the kind of person who said things he didn't mean. Nick wanted Greg to be his. Mine. That was the word he'd used.

Nick didn't pity him -- Nick loved him. It was foolish to let some random little voice speaking from the back of his mind convince him that Nick only felt sorry for him. If he believed that, then maybe his own love for Nick wasn't as strong as he'd thought it was.

He knew that wasn't true. He loved Nick with all of his heart and soul; he'd loved Nick from the moment they'd first met, from his first day in the crime lab. Nick had been his whole heart and soul from that moment until this one. And he always would be.

What quirk of fate had brought him to Nick and made him fall in love with someone who he'd thought was so unreachable? And why had fate suddenly decided to smile on him and let him know that Nick felt the same? Why now, when he needed that love and support the most?

He'd never needed Nick as much as he needed him now. He didn't want to tell his parents what had happened; they would freak out completely, and probably insist on coming here and fussing over him. He didn't want that. He just wanted the support of a .... a friend.

Was this what fate had intended for him, as a way to bring him closer to Nick? Greg winced as he shifted his position again, wishing that he could lie on his back to avoid irritating the bruises on his hips. If this was fate's plan, he wished that it had been a less painful one.

If only he and Nick could have admitted how they felt about each other before he met Shane, then none of this would ever have happened. Greg's eyes filled with tears at the thought; he squeezed them tightly shut, forcing the tears back before they could fall.

There was no use crying now. He'd survived what Shane had done to him; that was the important thing. He had no idea how his body might be marked and scarred, but he hoped that there wouldn't be any outward scars to match the inner ones he would always bear.

Had Shane been part of what fate had intended for him -- or had he just stepped off the path that should have led him straight to Nick? Was what had happened to him his own fault for being with Shane when he'd known that his heart belonged to someone else?

Greg raised a hand to his head again; it was aching more than ever, the headache starting to pound behind his eyes. He didn't want to think about whether or not this was his fault. It was over and done, and he had to move on, instead of dwelling on what Shane had done to him.

That was going to be much more easily said than done, at least while the physical pain was still with him. He couldn't move without pressing down on a bruise -- and turning over onto his stomach or sitting up was agony. Without the painkillers, he'd have gone crazy.

But he couldn't exist on painkillers for the rest of his life; he was going to have to find a way to get past this without their help. The physical pain wouldn't always be with him, but Greg knew that the scars would remain. They weren't simply going to go away just because they couldn't be seen.

Sooner or later, he'd have to talk to Nick, to find out if the other man had meant what he'd said. And he would have to accept what fate decided to mete out to him -- whether it was a life with Nick as his lover, or simply settling for the two of them being friends.

Could he do that? Greg wondered. Would it be possible for him to be no more than friends with Nick, after the way their buried emotions had come to the surface in the past few days? That would remain to be seen, after he'd talked with Nick and found out just where they stood with each other.

It was frightening to think that he was headed into uncharted territory with Nick -- but exhilarating, too. The two of them could be stirring up a hornet's nest of problems for themselves by becoming involved, but Greg had the definite feeling that they wouldn't regret it.

Whatever path that fate intended for them to take, he was ready to start. He just had to patient and wait for Nick to get back from wherever he'd gone so they could talk. He only hoped that once they did, they would both say the words that each of them needed and wanted to hear.

***

Next story in series - Out of the Woods.