Previous part of Up in Smoke.
***
THURSDAYNick waited nervously in the waiting room of his therapists' office. Diane was talking to Greg getting his side of what had happened. She had already talked to Nick and had agreed that coming and talking to her together was a great plan.
But then again she was a therapist, of course she would say that.
Truth be told Nick had been looking forward to tonight's session. He knew this was a big step toward getting Greg to trust him and the sooner Greg trusted him the sooner they could move on in their relationship
"Nick" Diane stuck her head out the door, "we're ready for you"
Nick hurried in and sat on a brown leather couch next to Greg. Diane sat across from them in a darker brown club chair.
"Alright, now that I've spoken to you each briefly. I want you to tell each other why you reacted the way you each did. Nick why you got so angry and Greg why you were so hurt by Nick. For now I'm just going to play moderator."
"I'll start," Nick ventured. "Well part of the reason I acted the way I did is because I like you and I felt like the person I liked was revealed as a fake."
"I was also upset about the money aspect of it I hate people who are all about the money. I became a CSI to help people not to make money. When you moved from the lab to the field despite the pay cut I really respected you for that."
"Do you still respect me?" Greg was staring at his hands
"What?" Nick shook his head trying to shake the confusion out.
"Do you still respect me? I told you that my family basically scammed millions of dollars from Bender."
Greg wasn't meeting his eyes once again while speaking and his bottom lip was trembling slightly.
Nick paused to consider his words. He wanted to tell him he didn't believe there was a scam. That Greg had been a victim and all the money was deserved, but he knew Greg would just get upset.
"I think that you were just a kid in a difficult situation. The people to blame are your parents." Greg still wasn't looking at him. "While you may have benefited from the money, you didn't set out to scam him"
"I didn't," Greg said, finally meeting Nicks eye's again.
"Didn't what?" Nick was confused again; he really spent a lot of time confused when it came to Greg.
"I didn't benefit from the money. I never took a dime of it." Greg clarified.
"OK," Nick replied. Greg cleared one thing up just to confuse him about another.
Before Nick had a chance to say anything else Greg began explaining. "About a month after the school year ended, I moved back to
"You were what 10? 11? And you moved across the country by yourself" Nick couldn't imagine that, he would have been terrified.
"I had Papa Olaf," Greg defended. "I was bummed at the time, but it was worth it. I couldn't live in that nice new apartment that was paid for with dirty money. It made me feel... dir- not good"
"I'm sorry your parents put you in that position."
"Yeah well.." Greg shrugged. "Papa always knew something happened but I never told him what. My parents sent money every month but Papa and I never cashed the checks we lived on what money he had. We weren't rich but I didn't feel guilty."
"Your parents never said anything?" Nick asked, his grandmother was 98 years old and watched her bank account like a hawk until all the 10 dollar checks she sent out at Christmas were cashed. He couldn't imagine parents not noticing when the checks they sent to pay for all Greg's expenses were never cashed. What kind of parents were these people?
"They had a lot going on with Davy and they had both reenrolled in school."
‘As if that was an excuse' Nick thought. "How long did you live with your grandfather?"
"Until I was 17, when I went to college. My parents and brother still live in
"Your parents never made you move back with them?"
"I was happy with my grandfather Nick, I could have moved back with my parents but I didn't and I've never regretted that." Greg was starting to look slightly irritated and Nick didn't want to push him further and decided to let the topic go. For now.
"Greg why don't you tell Nick now why you were upset..."
========================================
The Next Day
The rest of the session the night before had passed quickly and when it was over both men felt better; though Nick did have to stop himself from rolling his eyes several times during the session. Diane was a great therapist, there were just moments when she was a bit to... upbeat.
Greg had really liked her, he'd told Nick she reminded him of Papa Olaf who thought all things happened for a reason and was supremely optimistic.
After the session they had gone to their usual diner and had a leisurely breakfast before heading to work.
They were having a particularly slow day and Nick had snuck off to work on the Bender case. He was rereading Greg's statement for the 20th time when all of a sudden something hit him.
He spun around and pulled up Clyde Hogarsville's financial records. Nick scrolled through them until he came to the payment he was looking for.
‘Damn I was right, maybe the dates in Greg's statement are wrong... There is no way...'
Nick quickly printed off a copy of Benders financial records and ran to find Greg.
========================================
Greg was back in the DNA, something he was actually enjoying. The day and swing shift techs were very backed up, Greg was working his magic. By the end of the night he thought he could have both shifts caught up.
Some days Greg missed DNA, days like today where there was only one new case and it was a suicide. Normally he would be going over paperwork or becoming a human science experiment for Grissom. When he worked the lab slow days didn't exist; if his shift was slow either swing or day would have overflow for him to work on.
Besides working DNA was good for his ego, he was the master of the DNA lab. Wendy looked suitably impressed and his music was already irritating Hodges. Today was going to be a blast.
"Greg, can I talk to you?" Nick asked, coming up behind him. Nick startled him because he was so busy thinking, he hadn't heard him come in.
Not that he could have over his music anyway.
"Yeah man, what's up?" Greg asked bouncing around a bit with excess energy.
"Um can we talk alone" Nick looked very nervous and a little bit angry. Greg's stomach was in knots almost instantly.
"Uh sure," Greg stood up and followed Nick towards the door. "Hey Wendy, I'm going on break, I'll be back in a bit ok."
Wendy waved and then scurried to change the music while she could.
Nick led the way back to Catherine's office and shut the door behind them when Greg walked in.
"Whoa Cath's office. This must be serious." Greg took a seat while Nick began pacing.
"It is." He said stopping and squatting down so he was eye level with Greg "I need to ask you a question Greg and it's probably going to piss you off but you need to answer it. Ok?" Nick had so many emotions running through his eyes Greg couldn't even begin to classify one.
"OK..." He agreed uneasily
"In your statement you say that the weekend you spent at Bender's house was Memorial Day weekend. Are you positive it was that weekend?"
"What?" Greg said thrown completely off guard, though he really shouldn't have been.
"Are you positive that the weekend that you spent at Benders was Memorial Day weekend?" Nick repeated, an edge to his voice.
"You said you wouldn't ask about this anymore" Greg stood and walked toward the door trying to get out of there before he said something he regretted but Nick stepped in his way.
"Just answer the question Greg" he barked holding Greg by the shoulders
"Yes"
"You're positive?" Nick said, letting him go.
"Yes Nick I'm positive." Nick walked around Catherine's desk and sunk down into Catherine's chair.
"Nick?" Greg said suddenly more worried than angry "What's going on?"
"I'm sorry G. I'm so sorry" He ran his hand down his face.
"For what" Nick tossed Greg the stack of papers he'd brought in with him "What is this?"
"Clyde Hogarsville's financial records."
"OK", what am I looking for" Greg asked, the knot in his stomach tightening?
"The date he paid off your brothers medical bills. That was part of your settlement with him right?" Nick asked a strange look on his face
"Yeah it was" Greg Nodded nodded, leafing through the papers looking for the date of the pay off.
"No it wasn't G."
"What are you talking about Nick? Yes it was! How else did they get paid off?"
Greg searched for the payment around the date of the settlement but not finding it.
"They were paid off before the settlement" Nick said standing once more and moving around the desk. He took the records from him and started shuffling through them.
"That doesn't make sense Nick. When were they paid off" Greg asked. Nick didn't answer just handed him back the papers. "Nick?"
"The week before your visit." Nick said softly
"What. No." Greg franticly looked down at the file looking for the payment in question. It was highlighted on the top page.
Nick was right.
His brother's medical bills were paid off the week before his trip to the Bender estate. He dropped the papers on the desk like they burned him.
"I don't understand..." Greg stood up and backed away from the desk
"Greg..." Nick stuck a hand out toward him but Greg ducked it.
"They knew. They fucking knew..." His heart was beating frantically in his chest. Nick reached for him again probably intent on comforting him or making him sit back down but Greg was having none of that. "Don't touch me." Greg pushed Nick away and turned and ran out of Catherine's office.
Running away hadn't worked the first time but maybe he would have more luck this time. ***
Grissom wasn't in his office so Nick settled in on the couch to think.
He wasn't sure if he had done the right thing approaching Greg as he had. He'd just been so sure there was some mistake; he hadn't even stopped to think about the effect it would have on Greg if there wasn't.
They'd sold their kid. They'd sold their 10 year old to a 30 year old man...
Nick was going to bring them down. Bender and the Sanders were going to be seeing the inside of a jail cell very soon.
He couldn't imagine how Greg was feeling right now. Grissom was going to be pissed when he found out Greg had run off again. He was also going to be angry at Nick for talking to Greg before him. He had treated Greg more like a friend than a witness and while Greg would appreciate that, Grissom would not.
As if he could hear Nicks thoughts Grissom choose that moment to walk in, an irritated look on his face. "Why are you in my office?"
"I got a break in the case?" Nick stood up and walked over to Grissom's desk.
"What case." Grissom asks irritated and sits behind his desk.
"The Bender case."
"Oh," He says. "Sit down"
"I noticed that Greg said in his statement he went to Benders house over Memorial Day weekend." Nick paused for a moment not quite sure how to continue on with out sounding emotional and getting thrown off the case.
"And" Grissom prompted
"Bender paid off the brothers' medical bills the week before that."
"What!" Grissom snapped surprising Nick.
Nick opened the file and showed Grissom the highlighted portions. Grissom read them quickly before slamming the file down on his desk.
"Have you shown anyone else these documents?"
Nick flushed guiltily. "Yeah I have. I talked to Greg, I just couldn't believe parents would do something like that to their child I thought there had to be a mistake"
Grissom made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a growl
Nick gulped and continued. "So I had him confirm that he was at Benders over Memorial Day weekend."
"And then?"
"And then, I told him why and showed him the documents" Nick admits. He knew how irritated Grissom was going to be.
"What happened?" Grissom asks in a surprisingly gentle voice.
"He was really upset and then he ran out." Nick studies Grissom for a moment. Grissom looks surprisingly sad. Nick had expected Grissom to be angry not upset.
"He ran off again?" Grissom sighed.
"Yeah, but that was my fault not his. I shouldn't have approached him about a case he was involved in while he was on the clock."
"No you shouldn't have. You should have talked to me or Catherine before you approached him." Grissom looks stern once again.
"You're right. What do we do now Grissom?"
"I think that at this point we should hand the case over to
"What! No way!" Nick yells. There is no way he is letting anyone else handle this case. It's too important.
"The crime took place in New York Nick; it's their case" Grissom is right but Nick isn't ready to admit defeat.
"I know, but I don't want to just hand it over"
"We shouldn't be working on it any longer anyways" Grissom says.
"Why not?"
"Bender has millions of dollars and the Sanders aren't bad off themselves, they can afford the best lawyers. We don't want to do damage to this case because we're emotionally involved with the victim."
Nick hates to admit it but Grissom is right. In fact they should have given the case to day or swing the minute they became aware that one of their own was involved.
Nick sighed, "I just feel like we're abandoning him, we shoved him out in the open and locked the door behind him."
"And now we're giving away the key?"
Nick nodded; Grissom always understood analogies better then most human emotions.
"You can't be his friend and the CSI on his case, you have to choose." He pointed out.
Once again Grissom was right and Nick knew which he'd choose. Greg needed a friend. He needed support more than he needed a CSI right now.
"You're taking this better then I thought you would." Nick said trying to change the subject from his and Greg relationship before Grissom began asking questions again.
Grissom smirked; he probably knew why Nick had changed the subject "I don't like to be predictable"
"I'm going to go find Greg." Nick stood up.
"Call me when you find him; meanwhile, I'll update Catherine."
========================================
I run out of the lab faster than I've ever run in my life.
I run out of the building, across the parking lot and down the street. I turn down random streets, running further from the Crime Lab and Nick and that awful piece of paper.
I run until my lungs burn with pain and my legs give out. I sink down to the ground, my back braced against the wall of an unknown building.
I spend several minutes just breathing. In and out...
In and out...
In and out...
Slowly...in and out.
When my lungs stop burning and my head stops spinning, I look around. I don't recognize any of the buildings surrounding me and there are no street signs close enough to read.
I ponder where I am for a moment before dismissing it; it doesn't matter. Nothing really matters now.
So many emotions are pulsing through me at this moment, they are all building up. I feel like I'm on the brink of hysteria. I want to get up and run again; block out everything but the wind on my face and the burn of my body, but my legs feel numb and I doubt they'll support my weight.
So I just sit here, trying not to think, trying not to remember; I'm failing though. The more I try not to think, the louder my thoughts get.
I don't understand...I just don't get it, can't wrap my mind around it.
They are my parents...MY PARENTS! They are supposed to protect me; they are supposed to take care of me.
Instead; they sold me.
An intense wave of shame and disgust washes over me and for a moment, I give in and cry; but the shame becomes anger.
I'm over this. I've been over it for years; been over Bender and what had happened in that house. I'd made peace with it long ago...and now this.
My thoughts and emotions are erratic and I feel like I'm on drugs. I can't make sense of anything. Everything feels like it's spinning out of control.
So, I focus on breathing. I can control that.
In...One...Two...Three. Out...Four...Five...Six.
In...One...Two...Three. Out...Four...Five...Six.
I should be more surprised when someone plops down next to me on the sidewalk, but I'm not. I knew Nick would find me; that's what Nick does. He finds the lost.
"That was quick." I'm surprised at how steady my voice is.
"What was?", Nick asks. He jumps slightly when I speak.
"I thought it would take hours for you to find me."
"It's been close to three hours since you left." Nick's voice is thick with worry and for a moment I feel guilty before blocking it out and concentrating on my breathing again.
"It doesn't seem that long."
Nick stands back up and extends a hand to help me up. I stare at it for a moment trying to decide if I want to get up or if my legs will even support me. Nick rolls his eyes and bends over. He grasps me under the arms and pulls me up.
All of the muscles in my body feel limp and useless. My head rolls listlessly until it rests against Nicks shoulder. My face is pressed against Nick's neck; he smells good, clean and fresh. Nick holds me upright in a hug of sorts, if he lets go, I'll fall, but I know he won't let me fall.
"Christ G. you're freezing."
"I am?" I ask genuinely surprised. I don't feel cold. I don't feel anything.
"Come on I'm taking you home." He half carries, half drags me to his truck and some how manages to hold me up and open the door at the same time. Once he's got me strapped in, he starts the car and pulls away. As we drive off I take one last look at the building that I've been resting against for the last few hours.
I still have no idea where I am.
"Where?" I ask this time my voice sounds weak and thready
"Factory district, about 5 miles from the lab" Nick replies taking his eyes off the road briefly to send me a soothing smile.
"How'd you find me?"
"Archie tracked your cell; all the lab phones have GPS"
"Right" I should have guessed, I'm surprised he waited as long as he did to have Archie track my phone.
Nick reaches out and grabs my hand closest to him giving it a gentle squeeze. Nick's a touchy, feely sort of guy.
"You're still freezing." He points the vent at me and turns the heat on full blast.
I still don't feel anything.
========================================
After searching for Greg for almost 90 minutes, Nick was getting close to frantic. He had a lot of different scenarios running through his head and none of them were good.
He'd searched the crime lab from top to bottom and every place within walking distance, but there was no sign of Greg.
He even broke into his locker to see if his wallet was still there, afraid that Greg had taken a cab somewhere. Maybe out of Vegas. The wallet was still there along with Greg's keys.
Nick had called Greg at least twenty times but gotten no answer.
He was calling for the twenty-first time when he'd had a sudden realization. Archie could find Greg. He'd hurried in the direction of Archie's lab.
"Hey Arch" Nick hurries into the lab
"What can I help you with Nick?" Archie asks spinning around an excited look on his face.
"Are you busy right now?" I ask hoping he wasn't.
"Not really what's up?"
"I need you to track down Greg using his cell phone"
"That's it, man, I thought you had something exciting for me" Archie seems genuinely disappointed.
"I owe you one man" Nick claps him on the back.
Archie worked his magic and 10 minutes later Nick knew where Greg was. He'd run out of the lab yelling thank you back down the hall as an after thought.
Nick had expected Greg to be upset when he found him. Had thought he would yell and cry and rail against the world. What he found was worse.
Greg was slumped against a building staring blankly across the street. He hadn't said anything or reacted when Nick plopped down next to him; just continued counting quietly under his breath. "One two three. Four five six"
Nick thought he didn't even realize Nick was sitting next to him until he'd mentioned how quickly Nick had found him. Nick had hated how soft and disembodied his voice sounded and the vacant look in his eyes. He needed to get Greg home.
He'd been even more distressed to feel how cold Greg was and that he didn't notice the cold. Having Greg's face snuggled up against his neck was something Nick had imagined he'd like, but at the moment, didn't. Greg was cold to the touch and trembling slightly. Nick was holding him up. Greg's arms wrapped around his waist and his upper body rested against Nick's.
It was a cruel mockery of an embrace
Nick had wrestled Greg's limp form into the car and drove off. It wasn't until he felt Greg's cold clammy hand that he realized Greg had a minor case of shock. Nick had sped up a little then; he needed to get Greg home and warmed up.
Greg was a little more aware of his surroundings by the time Nick pulled into his driveway. He was able to walk on his own; all Nick had to do was lead him. Nick settled him on the couch with a quilt.
After a few moments Nick decided to make some soup. Greg needed to eat and it would warm him up.
Nick busied himself making soup, trying to block out the vacant look in Greg's eyes.
Greg had just shutdown and Nick didn't know how to get him to snap out of it. He didn't even know if it was a good idea to wake him up. Nick couldn't imagine what Greg was feeling at the moment.
He sighed as he watched the soup, waiting for it to boil. Nick pulled his cell phone out intent on calling Grissom.
"Nick you found him?" Grissom answers on the second ring.
"Yeah I just got him home"
"How is he?" Nick hears Sara ask.
"Sara?" Nick asks confused.
"I had to fill Sara in Nick, she found the case file on my desk" Grissom actually sounds guilty.
"I'm sorry, you don't have to tell Greg I know" Sara doesn't sound the least bit sorry.
"I don't know if I will, I have bigger things to deal with at the moment."
"Is Greg OK?" Grissom asks this time, he sounds surprisingly concerned.
"He's in shock I think."
"Warm him up and make him some tea or something. No coffee." Sara says shifting into CSI mode and giving Nick orders.
"I'm making soup."
"Good, I'm going to wait to talk to Greg before I pass the case to
"Alright," Nick agrees.
"Do you need anything? I can drop by after shift" Sara offers
"No, I think Greggo and I are going to bunk down for the night. It's probably better if we're left alone. I'm going to try and get him to talk."
"If you need anything." Sara says softly, sadly.
"I'll call." Nick smiled; as much as they got on each other nerves at times they were family. With the exception of Catherine none of them had any real lives outside of work. Sara, Grissom and Warrick didn't have any family left and Nick was estranged from his since coming out several years ago and Greg...
Nick broke off from that train of thought for the moment. "I'll let you know if we'll be tomorrow. OK Griss?" He hopes Grissom will give them Friday off, at the very least.
Grissom sighed "Fine I'll see you Monday at the latest"
"Thanks man, bye" He hangs up before Grissom could change his mind.
The soup began to lightly boil and Nick took it off the stove and poured it into a bowl. He grabbed a spoon and the bowl before heading back into the living room.
Greg was no longer sitting on his couch, he was standing in front of his entertainment center. He was looking at a picture that Nick couldn't make out from where he was.
"I brought you soup" Nick says awkwardly
"Oh good because horrendous betrayals are always fixed by soup" Greg growls spinning around an angry look on his face.
"I'm so sorry Greg..." Nick says softly he sets the soup down on the table and walks toward Greg.
Greg's face crumples and he lets out a choked sob. "Why Nicky? Why?" He sounds broken and Nick hates it.
"I don't know G." Nick quickly pulls Greg to him and wraps one arm around Greg's slender waist and the other cups the back of his head gently carding his hand through his hair as Greg tucks his head under Nicks chin.
Nick just holds Greg close for several minutes giving Greg all the physical comfort he can. His heart hurts for his friend.
"I just don't understand why they did this to me" Greg chokes out several minutes later as he pulls out of Nicks embrace and begins to pace. "Why?" he asks softly.
"For whatever reason they did this Greg; it's not your fault."
"How do you know" Greg yells, he's back to being angry and Nick is almost glad, angry is so much better than broken like he was a moment ago.
"I just do. It's not your fault." Nick steps toward Greg and Greg puts the table in between them
"Shut up" Greg yells.
"It's not your fault G. The only people to blame are your parent's and Bender"
"You don't know anything." Greg's starting to tremble again slightly and Nick just wants to pull him into his arms again and comfort him.
"I know it's not your fault." Nick says
"Stop it Nick." Greg growls out.
"It's. Not. Your. Fault."
"STOP IT" Greg yelled at the top of his lungs, "This isn't Good Will Hunting. I'm not Matt Damon and you're not Robin Williams. So take your soup and your cliché psycho babble and get the hell out." Suddenly, Greg kicks the table over, sending the soup flying and catching Nick in the stomach and knocking him to the ground.
It was eerily silent for a moment as Nick struggled to breath after having the wind knocked out of him.
Suddenly Greg was kneeling next to him that sad broken look in his eyes again.
"Oh Christ Nick I'm sorry... I'm so sorry Nick... are you ok?" Greg didn't give him time to answer. "Please don't leave. I'll stop yelling... I'm so sorry... Jesus I'm sorry..."
Nick pushed himself up into a sitting position "Easy Greg, I'm fine and I'm not going anywhere honey." He pulls Greg into his lap. Greg buries his face against Nick's chest and takes deep shaky breaths. Nick rubs Greg's back slowly. "Easy Honey, its OK. I'm fine and we're good."
Greg leans against Nick for several minutes breathing slowly and snuggling against him. He pulls back after awhile and looks at Nick. "Honey?"
"I'm sor-" Nick begins thinking Greg is offended by the endearment.
"No I uh liked it... " Greg interrupts, "That's what Nana Olaf always called me when I was little." He blushes slightly.
"I'll remember that." Nick smiled "C'mon hulk lets get you to bed, it's been a long night"
"I'm not tired" Greg pouts.
"Humor me."
"Ok" Greg climbed out of Nicks lap and held out a hand to help Nick up. Nick grasps it and pulls himself up. Nick stared into Greg's beautiful eyes, eyes that look so sad. He wants to fix it make everything that was hurting him disappear.
Nick is staring so deeply into Greg's eyes, he's taken by surprise when Greg suddenly surges forward and slams their lips together. For a moment Nick is caught completely off guard but quickly catches up and joins in,
Nick pulls back slightly softening the kiss. He nips Greg's bottom lip and Greg opens his mouth welcoming Nick in. It's the most passionate kiss that Nicks ever experienced. He feels it all the way to his toes and Greg's making these little noises that are heating him up even more.
After several minutes they break apart gasping for air and Greg sends him a bright smile "Should have done that a long time ago."
***
Nick laughed and Greg smiles. He loves making Nick laugh, he has a great laugh; warm and infectious. Combine that with the way his whole face lights up when he laughs and Greg is ready to start a new job; making Nick laugh."Only you..." Nick shakes his head still chuckling softly.
"Only me what?" Greg asked coyly batting his eyes at Nick.
"Only you can make me feel this way." Nick pulled Greg closer and kissed him again.
‘God he's good at this' Greg thinks for a moment before losing himself in the kiss. He could spend the rest of his life kissing Nick.
After a minute they break apart again not quite as breathless as before, Greg is disappointed he wanted to lose himself in the kiss longer. Lose himself just for a few more minutes.
"C'mon Greggo, bed time" Nick stepped back so they were no longer touching.
"I'm not five years old Nicholas."
"Greg, Its 8am. You'd be going to bed soon on a normal night."
"No I wouldn't." Greg argues, though it is true. On a normal night he'd be heading to bed in a little over two hours and he had gotten up early that evening.
"Greg you look tired so I know you are. Stop putting up a fuss"
Greg was exhausted he just didn't want to go to sleep, didn't want this moment to end and Nick to leave. He didn't want to lose control.
He felt more in control at the moment then he had all week. He was afraid when Nick left he'd lose it again. He'd break and this time there would be no Nick to find him and put him together.
Greg knew however that Nick wasn't going to give in until he got Greg in bed and tucked in for the night. What they needed was a compromise.
"Can we watch a movie?" He asked pouting slightly and giving Nick a sad little look that usually got him his way.
"Yeah," Nick agreed smiling softly, "what ever you want."
Greg smiled internally in triumph, his sad little look won again! He grabbed Nicks hand and tugged him down the hall to his bedroom.
Greg's bedroom was medium sized and pretty plain. No posters, or other decorations just a full sized bed, a dresser, a TV and a DVD player. Greg spent pretty much all of his free time at home in his study. The only time he was in his bedroom was to sleep and to get dressed. No point in decorating a room he only slept in.
He had only gotten the TV and DVD player after the Lab explosion when laying on the couch had been too painful and he was too doped up to enjoy reading in his study on the futon. In fact Nick had installed it while he was sleeping off a painkiller cocktail.
Greg changed into a pair of sleep pants and an old tee-shirt in the bathroom. When he came back out Nick was lounging on his bed still fully dressed.
"You can get comfortable you know, nothing I haven't seen before" ‘and would love to see again and again...'
"Nah" Nick said his face slightly red. "I'm... uh... comfortable like this"
"Well can you at least take your shoes off?" Greg asked feeling like he had been cheated out of his favorite treat.
"Oh yeah" Nick toed his shoes off smiling sheepishly at Greg.
They settle in and Greg gets the movie going. Pulp Fiction was in the DVD player and he's to lazy to find another so that's what they're watching.
20 minutes later Greg is fidgeting restlessly digging his finger nails into the palms of his hand as deeply as he can, he's sure their will be bloody little half moons in his palm later but he doesn't care.
He had thought that watching one of his all time favorite movies with Nick would keep him distracted. Normally he would be pointing out all the little extras and hypothesizing what was in the brief case. On a normal day he would probably be flirting with Nick maybe even cuddled up next to him on the bed.
Instead he's as far from Nick as he can get trying to hold himself together and not attract Nick's attention. If he freaks out again Nick will leave for sure and having Nick there in his bed is the only thing he has going for him right now.
He just can't make his brain shut up. He can't stop thinking about his parents. He tried to block it out but he couldn't, not even the pain in his palms could stop it.
‘There has to be some mistake, a banking error, there is no way they could have done that to me. My parents love me and they are good people. Loving parents don't sell their children.'
He suddenly had a flash of the first evening at Benders his mother sticking her head in the kitchen a slightly guilty look on her face.
‘No' he thought, pushing the memory away; trying to block it all out, block everything out but he can't and if he doesn't do something quick, he's going to lose it. He's going to burst into tears or break something.
So he does the one thing he knows will make him feel better, He kisses Nick.
Greg rolls over and climbs on top of Nick, straddling his jean clad hips. Nick opens his mouth to protest but Greg covers his mouth in a harsh kiss before any words can escape.
Nick's mouth was already open so Greg quickly darts his tongue inside and begins mapping every square inch of his Texan.
Nick is shocked by a kiss for the second time that night but quickly catches up and begins fight for control of the kiss, their tongues dueling for advantage.
Greg decides to change tactics and rips his mouth from Nicks. He begins to nip, suck and kiss his way down his jaw line to his neck. Nick is squirming and letting out quiet low little moans that are sending shivers down Greg's spine and straight to his groin. When Greg reaches the collar of Nicks shirt he moves back up his neck and begins nibbling and sucking on his ear lobe while fumbling with shaky hands to unbutton that damn shirt.
The second he gets Nick's shirt unbuttoned he pulls away and rips his own shirt off before plastering himself back against Nick. They both groan at the feel of bare skin against bare skin for the first time.
Greg continues his enthusiastic attempt to taste ever every inch of Nicks body. Planting a quick, wet kiss on Nick's lips before beginning to kiss, lick and nip his way down his neck and chest once more.
When he comes to one dusky, pebbled nipple, his smile turns evil and he latches on; biting gently. Nick again groans loudly and thrusts up, when their groins meet, Greg becomes aware he's not the only one who is hard.
Greg's own erection is throbbing and a bit painful trapped in his pajama pants and boxers. From the size of the bulge in Nick's jeans and the noises he makes when Greg pushes a hand between them and squeezes it, Nick must be dying in his denim prison.
Greg's suckles the nipple and encourages Nick to spread his legs more and make room for Greg to lie between them. Their heated groins brush together a second time causing Greg to groan loudly and Nick to grab Greg's ass and pull him closer while grinding against him even harder.
Greg lets go of Nick's nipple and begins to thrust and grind fast and hard against Nick, the pleasure building quickly. It isn't until Nick's moans begin to sound a bit strained that Greg realizes how painful it must be for him still trapped in his jeans and pulls away and scoots down and begins to unzip his jeans.
"Stop" Nick suddenly rasps out. It's the first time either of them has spoken since Greg rolled on top of Nick and began his frantic attempt to forget.
Greg instantly freezes "What's wrong?"
"We can't do this"
========================================
Nick was pretending to be deeply engrossed in the movie while Greg sat beside him on the bed brooding. He wanted to give the ex-lab tech some time to himself while still physically being there for him.
He was taken off guard by Greg's sudden hot, frantic assault.
He'd been surprised but he had enjoyed it heartily and he had begun to enjoy it even more when Greg started a trail of hot, stinging kisses down his neck and then onto his chest.
When they started to rut against each other he had experienced a heat and passion he had never experienced before. It wasn't until Greg had begun to unzip his pants that his brain had clicked on and he had stopped thinking with his dick.
He'd moaned for Greg to stop though it was the last thing he wanted to do. He wanted to strip Greg down and do bad things to him all night long.
"We can't do this" he rasped. Greg's face fell as he pulled completely away. He climbed off Nick and moved to the far corner of the bed.
"I...I thought" he stammered, a betrayed look in his eyes.
"Oh no G. I want to. I really want to." He wanted to more than he wanted to breathe. However Greg wasn't in the right frame of mind to be making these sorts of decisions and Nick felt like he would be taking advantage of him if he let him continue his seduction.
"But"
"But, I don't want to be used to help you forget. We both deserve better." Nick stood up, buttoned his shirt and began searching for his shoes.
"Are you leaving?" Greg asked his voice sounded rough.
"I think it's for the best." Nick slipped on his shoes.
"Please stay" Greg stood up and walked over to Nick. He was still shirtless and so breathtakingly gorgeous. His skin was soft and pale, like a statue. The sight of his lightly muscled arms and body made Nick's heart beat a little faster. He didn't think he'd be able to stand the temptation if he stayed.
"Greg..." Nick began in a pleading tone hoping Greg would let him go.
"Please." He grabbed Nicks arm "I'm sorry. I'm incredibly sorry. What I was doing was wrong and selfish and... I just... I just wanted to forget for a little while. Stop thinking, my head hurts from all the thinking" He let Nick's arm go and turned his back to him. "I can't take it. Everything is spinning out of control and I don't have anything to hold onto." he wrapped his arms around himself as if it would help hold him together.
Nick moved across the room and wrapped his arms around Greg from behind. "You can hold on to me." He said softly into the nearest ear "I'm not going anywhere." Greg's skin which had been so hot it felt like it was burning him while they had been on the bed was now cool to the touch. Nick pulled Greg back over to the bed and pulled him to lay down with him. Greg quickly plastered himself to Nick's side, his face buried in the juncture between his neck and shoulder.
"Talk to me G." Nick slowly stroked his hand down Greg's bare back feeling the skin change from smooth to bumpy scars from the explosion, but that wasn't important right now.
"I just feel out of control... My emotions are going hay wire. I don't think I've cried as much in the last five years as I have this week."
"It's been a bad week" Nick agreed, though bad was a bit of an understatement.
"It's been a nightmare of a week and my brain won't be quiet, I just can't stop thinking about it."
"About what, honey?" Nick asked. He knew, but he needed to hear Greg say it. Greg needed to get it out.
"About..." He pauses and Nick can feel can feel silent tears falling on his skin and Nick)
tightens the arm he has wrapped around Greg's waist.
"You can tell me." He kisses the top of Greg's head.
Greg tries again but the words just won't come and Nick can feel him shaking with frustration. "I can't... I can't," and for a moment his sobs become audible.
"Yes you can G. I know you can, you need to get this all out."
"I can't stop thinking about what he did to me...." He chokes out finally.
"What did he do?" Nick hates that he has to push Greg when he promised he wouldn't but at the same time knows that if he doesn't force Greg exorcize his demons they will eat him alive.
More silent tears though now Greg's entire body is shivering and shaking severely. "He took me into his bedroom...It was big and had a million video games and toys. We were sitting on the bed playing them and he kept moving closer and closer...The next thing I knew he was touching me and he was using my hand to touch himself..." Greg clings to him and the frantic body shaking sobs are back for a moment and all Nick can do is hold him and whisper endearments in his ear.
"I'm sorry Greggo, I know it hurt like hell to tell me but you needed to get that out honey. It was eating you up." He kisses as much of the blond head on his shoulders as he can reach.
"I know." Greg responds after a moment or two "That's not why I'm so upset though"
"It's not? What's bothering you then?"
Greg pushed himself up and out of Nicks arm so he was sitting cross legged next to him on the bed. "She knew Nick. They both knew."
"You don't know that for sure Greggo." Nick sat up leaning ageist the headboard.
"After Bender..." Greg paused and Nick nodded conveying to him he knew what he was talking about.
"After... he took me down to the kitchen and we had ice cream. My mom stuck her head in the kitchen and she had this weird look on her face, it was guilt. She hovered in the doorway for a second just watching us then she left."
Nick winces knowing exactly why she looked guilty.
"She was checking up on me, apparently I didn't look traumatized enough for her to take me home." Greg suddenly sounds angry. "Even after I told her what he did to me, when I was sobbing in the bathroom begging to go home that wasn't enough; we stayed for two more days." Greg pounds his fist against the mattress, "Two. More. Days."
"Did he ever touch you again?" It had never occurred to him Bender might have attacked Greg more then once.
"No... he had me watch him while he..." Greg gestures to his groin.
"Oh... That sick bastard." Nick spits disgusted at Bender's actions.
"They never wanted to talk about it," Greg tears up again for a moment before he takes a deep breath and continues on strong. "They swore me to secrecy told me that if I told anyone what had happened they'd take away all the money and Davy would die. Then when I got older I was ashamed and didn't want anyone to know. That's when we came up with all the cover stories. That's the last time we ever talked about it."
"Grissom is giving your case to NY, They are going to pay for what they did to you." Nick thinking that it will comfort Greg to know they will be paying for what they did to him.
"No! he can't!" Greg jumped up to his knees
"Why not?" Nick asks confused.
"They're my family Nick." He replied as if that was some sort of excuse.
"So parents who murder their kids, they don't deserve to be punished?"
"Don't twist my words." Greg snapped jamming a finger in Nick's face
"Alright I'm sorry." He held up his hands in defense "I just don't understand."
"They're my family Nick, they're all I have." He sinks back down on the mattress.
"What about your Papa Olaf."
"I'd be putting his only daughter in jail Nick, I doubt he would be too happy with me." Greg snaps at him.
"They deserve to go to jail." Nick argues reaching out for Greg's hand.
"I know... I just don't have the strength to put them there." Greg crawls closer and leans his head against Nick's shoulder.
"You have a lot of strength Greggo." Nick sooths
"I just want this to be over." Greg whispers.
"I know, but it never will be if you don't take action."
"Yes it will. I can just move on and forget all about this. I did before." Greg argues twisting around to face Nick once more.
"Yeah for awhile but it's going to come up again."
"No it won't. Not unless someone else says or does something about it." Greg pauses for a moment, "I need you to promise me, swear you won't tell Grissom what I told you. That you won't try and convince him to pass on the case."
"Greg..." Nick pleads not wanting to make a promise he doesn't think he can keep.
"Promise me." Greg orders
"Fine." Nick agrees reluctantly.
"Thank you."
Nick grunts.
"I mean it I know it's hard for you to let criminals go and it means a lot to me that you're willing to do that for me. Stay the night? No funny business; just sleep."
========================================
Grissom was woken up early afternoon on Friday by the shrill ringing of his phone.
‘Damn dayshift can't go one afternoon without me'
"Grissom."
"Grissom, its Nick." Nick sounds shaky and unsure. He pauses for several moments and just as Grissom is about to ask him what's going on, he speaks up.
"We need to talk."
***
It was only 4PM, he and Greg did not even manage to get to sleep until 10, and they should have been asleep for at least another few hours. The longer the better. Being a CSI had taught Nick to get as much sleep as possible whenever given the chance.
His hours may have been 12AM-10AM but 75% of the time, he was called in early and worked late. The city gave them a maximum of 55 overtime hours a month; usually everyone on the team was maxed-out before the month was over. Sara and Greg were usually maxed-out half way through the month. Greg was still learning and jumped at any chance to learn or practice his skills. Sara had no life.
Nick climbed out of bed slowly stretching before pulling his pants from the night before back on and going in search of Greg.
It had taken Nick nearly an hour to get Greg calm enough to fall asleep.
After Nick had agreed to stay the night, they had climbed into bed and settled in for the night. Greg had lain down as far away from Nick as possible, as if afraid if they touched, Nick would bolt.
After ten minutes of watching Greg struggle to resist the urge to rollover or move, at all, Nick had enough. He grabbed him by the waist and dragged him across the bed until they were laying next each other, hip to hip and shoulder to shoulder
"Relax; I'm not going to run screaming from the room if you touch me," Nick said softly.
"I don't want you to leave." Greg's voice was so soft Nick had to struggle to hear him.
"I'm not going anywhere," He said reassuringly. "The only reason I was leaving before is I didn't think I'd be able to resist you."
Greg rolled onto his side and leaned up on his elbow, "I'm irresistible huh?" He smiled down at Nick.
Nick grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled him down for a quick kiss, "Oh yeah."
Nick wrapped his arms around Greg pulling him to rest against his chest. "Sleep." He ordered and then began to tell Greg about a special he had just watched on animal planet a few days ago. He rubbed Greg's back slowly as he described the efforts to save the Giant Catfish from extinction. After 45 minutes and a new topic, the mating habits of Sharks. Greg had fallen asleep and Nick had soon followed.
Now less the 6 hours later Greg was up and, if the cold sheets told him anything, had been up for awhile.
Nick padded into the living room looking around for Greg. He spotted him sitting at the bar that separated the living room from the kitchen.
He was hunched over half a gallon of Ice cream and frowning. Nick tried to make noise as he walked over but still ended up frightening the troubled man. Greg jumped his frown deepening and eyes narrowing into a glare.
"I'm sorry G. I didn't mean to startle you." Nick apologized giving one shoulder a quick squeeze.
Greg sighed before forcing the frown from his face, "It's ok I was thinking to hard. What are you doing up?"
"I was worried about you, how long have you been up?"
"Not long." He sighed going back to staring at his melted ice cream
"Really?" Nick raised an eyebrow.
"Less then an hour." Greg amended.
"You need to sleep." Nick ruffled Greg's hair loving the feeling of the soft strands running through his fingers.
"Yeah, well I needed ice cream more." Greg responded in an irritated voice and tilted his head away from Nick.
"Come back to bed." Nick asked ignoring Greg's obvious bad mood.
"Don't be offended by this Nick..." Greg spun around so he was facing Nick, "But I need to be alone right now."
"Umm O.K." Nick was slightly hurt but tried not to show it.
"This sounds incredibly selfish and rude but I don't want you to leave just too... Just go away for a little while." Greg bit his bottom lip and looked up at Nick with big pleading sad eyes. Nick could not say no.
"No worries G. I'll go back to bed, you need me you know where to find me." He gave Greg a bright smile and headed back toward the bedroom.
"I think I'm going to go for a jog." Greg yelled after him.
"Alright," Nick turned, "I'll see you when you get back."
"Yeah" Greg darted forward and gave him a quick and unexpected kiss before pulling on running shoes and heading out the door.
Nick smiled softly and continued on to the bedroom.
He wished Greg had not left. While Greg was there, he could focus on him. On trying to make him feel better. Now that he was gone, he began thinking of the promise he had made the night before.
A promise he did not think he would be able to keep.
Nick saw how much Greg was hurting and he hated that he would be hurting him more. He knew that if he broke Greg's trust, especially now, Greg would never forgive him and most likely, never trust him again.
"Probably won't ever trust anyone again." Nick said to himself and punched a pillow in frustration.
On the other hand if he did not push this with Grissom, give him all the details, Bender could get away with it, he could molest another kid. Another Greg. Nick did not think he could live with that.
As heartless as it sounded he could live without Greg. It would hurt like hell he would miss the lovable ex lab tech, but he could survive it. What he could not live with was damaging Greg further. Hurting him and making him unable to trust anyone ever again. Making it impossible for him to find someone to settle down with and live a happy life. That he could not live with.
No matter what Nick did, someone ended up hurt. ‘Damned if I do, Damned if I don't'
Nick sighed and picked up his cell phone, flicked it open, dialed Grissom's number and pressed send.
Before the call had a chance to connect, he closed the phone. The second he called Grissom his relationship with Greg was over.
He paused wishing he had more time, just a little more time. He did not though it was now or never.
He it redial and when Grissom answered, voice rough with sleep and irritation, Nick almost hung up again.
"Grissom, its Nick." He paused not sure how to continue or if he should continue. "We need to talk."
"Is everything alright" Grissom sounded worried and for some reason that surprised Nick.
"Yes..." He said slowly.
"..." Grissom's silence told Nick he didn't believe him.
"No. Everything is not alright."
"What's up Nick?" Grissom sounded more alert now. More like he did at a crime scene.
"Greg told me everything last night, then he made me promise not to tell you; but I can't, not when it could get Bender of the street. When it could stop him from hurting another kid."
"Alright."
"But if I tell you, when I tell you, we're going to lose Greg." Nick hated having to do this. He didn't want to hurt Greg but he had no choice.
"What do you mean lose Greg?" Grissom sounded alarmed and confused.
"He told me what Bender did to him. What his parents made him say and do." Nick felt a sting of guilt. "He told me that everything in his life was spinning out of control and he had no on he could trust." A lump developed in his throat when he remembered the way Greg had clung to him earlier that day, "I told him he could trust me Grissom and not 5 hours later I'm about to break that trust. What do you think I mean when I say we'll be losing him?"
"Yet, despite that, you are still going to tell me." Grissom sounded calm once more and Nick could here papers rustling in the background. Nick was positive Grissom had used his slight tirade as a chance to get settled in his office.
"Yes I am."
========================================
Gil Grissom's many years of being a ciminalist had desensitized him to many of the horrible things people could do to each other. Strangers killing strangers over miniscule amounts of money; lovers scorned seeking revenge of the deadliest sorts; serial killers and serial rapists. Almost nothing shocked him anymore.
Almost nothing, every once in awhile something snuck through his armor.
Like seemingly loving parents renting out their children.
Like a mother forcing her son finish out a weekend stay after he admits to being molested.
Like a family profiting off the suffering of a kid...
Like a 35-year-old man doing anything remotely sexual with a 10-year-old boy.
While things like that snuck through his armor, they blasted through Nick's.
Grissom wasn't surprised that Nick had spilled Greg's secret. Not when the man who had hurt Greg, who could still be hurting other kids, was free.
"Here is what we are going to do; I'm going to pass the case off to NY, before Greg has a chance to try and stop it."
"O.K."
Nick sounded weary and Grissom felt for him. "I won't tell him you said anything. He'll never know."
"No, I'm not going to lie to him." Nick sounded resolute and Grissom knew he was going to have to work to change Nick's mind.
"Nick you said it your self we'll lose him when he finds out."
"I refuse to lie to him," Nick snapped.
"Fine don't lie to him; just don't tell him right now."
"What?"
"Catherine often tells me that there is a time and a place for things." If the situation weren't so serious, Grissom would have been amused that he was quoting Catherine. "Now is not the time to tell Greg. Tell him later when he isn't as upset by the case, after he has recovered a bit from this latest blow."
Nick was silent and for a moment, Grissom had thought he had hung up until he heard him breathing slowly into the phone.
"Nick, I think that if you tell him right now you won't just lose him, you'll break him."
"I know that" Nick snapped his breathing speeding back up. He was quiet once more the soft sound of his breath Grissom's only clue he hadn't hung up. "I'm sorry Gris... It's just that not telling him is just lying passively... It's what his parents did."
"His parents whored him out. You are trying to help. The two are completely different." Grissom said surprising himself with his angry tone.
"It just doesn't feel right. He might forgive me for breaking my promise to him, but he won't forgive me for lying."
"Then we will have to make sure he never finds out." Grissom said using his best ‘Boss' voice. The one that always cause Nick to jump and do as he ordered.
He hoped it worked.
***
As a kid Greg's favorite thing to do was run. Maybe it was that you didn't need a lot of expensive equipment to do it. Maybe it was because running was about as athletically talented as he got. Maybe it was because he could run circles around all the football players in high school. However, it was probably because when he was running, he could forget everything else that was going on in his life.He loved the burn of his muscles and his lungs as he pushed himself to the limit and beyond. He loved the tired shakiness after a long run that let him drift into a deep dreamless sleep. He loved the feeling of freedom and peace he got after an early morning run after shift. He loved seeing the other runners, male or female, scantily clad and sweaty.
Next to work running was Greg's favorite way to pass the time.
In high school, he joined the cross-country team, he hadn't been the best in the state, but he had been good enough to get a scholarship to a prep school in his area. A prep school that, in turn, had helped him get his full scholarship to Stanford.
Running had changed his life. Probably saved his life, it kept him focused with his eye on the prize. A life independent of his parents.
He had continued running in college though not on any sort of team and it had been his break from studying and the drama of the dorms and later his flat-mates.
Even now, at 28, running was still a huge part of his life. It was his therapy.
He ran after tough cases, he ran when he was frustrated with his training, he ran when he was excited, he ran to keep his trim waistline.
All is coworkers at the lab, techs and CSI's alike, thought that he was extremely unathletic. This was partially true. He had horrible hand eye coordination; he couldn't throw, catch or kick a ball to save his life. Running was his little secret his private time.
At the moment, Greg was running to forget. To drive his body to exhaustion.
When his legs and lungs began to burn, in that not good way, Greg knew he had reached his limit, he slowed to a jog and then to a walk. By the time, he got to his front door he began to wonder if he would be able to make it to bed.
He snagged a bottle of water from the fridge and staggered toward the bedroom. He plopped down on the bed next to Nick who appeared to be studying the ceiling intently.
Greg felt a smile stretch across his face, "3,468."
"What" Nick said a sleepy confused look on his face?
"There are 3468 of those little pointy-drip things on my ceiling."
"You counted them?" Nick looked shocked.
"No." Greg snorted. "I counted a square foot of them and then, based on the measurements of my room, I estimated the rest."
"3,468." Nick repeated the number a hint of a smile on his face.
"Yup"
Nick suddenly rolled over so he was half pinning Greg to the bed and leaned down for a kiss. It was quick and Nick pulled back in a hurry. "You're all sweaty and you smell." He declared wrinkling his nose.
"No shit Sherlock I just got back from a run." Greg rolled his eyes.
"Go take a shower man." Nick rolled of Greg plucking at his now damp shirt disgustedly.
"Can't to tired"
"But you smell."
"Think of this as practice for the next time you get a decomp" Greg smirked laughing silently at the look of outrage on Nick's face.
"You don't smell that bad" Though from the way he was wrinkling his nose you would thing he did.
"Awwww, thanks babe." Greg smirked before rolling half way over and beginning to rub his sweaty hair and face against Nick shoulder and neck.
"Ewe Greg, sick now I have to shower... "Nick rolled out of the bed and headed toward the bathroom. He paused half way there turning around slowly a grin on his face. "Want me to help you shower? We could kill two birds with one stone."
Greg blushed at the thought of a wet naked Nick. He knew Nick was joking... at least he thought he was joking...
"I was just kidding." Nick said seeming to read the confusion on Greg's face.
"I know..." Greg sat up on the edge of the bed. He studied his hands for a moment. "It's just, despite my actions last night I want to take this slow."
Nick moved to sit next to him on the bed. "We can go as slow as you need."
"I haven't done this kind of thing before..." Greg admitted looking up at Nick.
"Done wha- Oh... Ohhh. I'm glad you told me." He squeezed Greg's hand.
Greg was confused, he wasn't even quite sure what he had meant but Nick seemed to know. "What exactly do you think I've told you?"
"That you've never, you know done it with a guy"
Greg's mouth fell open in shock and it took him a second to recover, "WHAT! No! I've done it. I've done it tons of times!" There was an awkward pause for a moment and Greg realized what he'd just shouted out. "No that's not right what I mean is I've done it you know an uh normal number of times... and I've always used a condom. Not that I've been having sex with strangers or anything. I had at least gone on a date with all the men I slept with."
"So you slept with them on the first date?" Nick's mouth was twitching slightly.
"No... well sometimes but not always...Usually not...Most of the time not." Greg nodded as if agreeing with himself.
Nick burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" Greg asked relieved Nick wasn't running out the door.
"You."
"I'm glad you find my apparent slutyness funny." Greg smiled.
"Relax G. I know you're clean, we get tested every 3 months at work and the last testing was 3 weeks ago."
"I could have slept with 5 guys since then."
"Have you?"
"No." Greg really didn't know why he'd brought that up.
"Then why bring it up? You're clean right?"
"Yes! Of course I am."
"So am I, I don't care if you sleep with a ton of guys before me, as long as from now on it's only me."
"No worries there, I only want you."
"Good we're agreed then." He leaned over for a sweaty kiss. "What did you mean earlier if it wasn't about sex?"
"I've never done a relationship before." Greg explained, "I've dated men and women, but I've never had a relationship."
"Never," Nick looked surprised.
"Never 4 dates is my limit. I want more then that with you, that's why I want to take it slow. I don't want to mess this up." Greg wanted Nick to understand how serious he was about him. Despite how he had acted the night before he wanted more the sex from Nick.
"Don't worry, I won't let you."
The moment was suddenly getting to serious for Greg. "Why don't you go shower I'll hop in when you're done, hopefully the feeling will have come back to my legs by then."
Nick smiled understandingly before clapping Greg on the back and standing up and heading into the bathroom closing the door behind him.
Greg was damned lucky to have found someone like Nick. He was damn lucky to have found Nick.
He was gorgeous, a gay mans wet dream; tall, dark and handsome, with a toned body and eyes that melted you from the inside out.
He was also one of the kindest and most understanding people Greg had ever met. He never gave up on anyone always believed the best in people and he forgave everyone. If Greg had inherited his Nana Olaf's psychic abilities then Nick was an empath. He was able to empathize with everyone, victim and criminal alike. Nick also managed to come off as charming and caring not condescending while he did it.
He worked hard and was dedicated to his job; loyal to the lab and his coworkers.
He also liked Greg.
At that moment Nick came out of the shower with just a towel around his waist, water droplets still clinging to his chest and abs. Normally Greg would pounce right about now, and he, and his freshly showered mate, would have hot sweaty sex. They might not even make it to the bed...
However, this was not a normal situation; Greg was trying to take this slow, that meant no sex. For now.
He licked his lips and looked Nick up and down.
"That's quite the look you've got on your face sunshine." Nick smiled knowingly.
"Just admiring the view." Greg leered.
"Well when you're done do you think you could loan me some clothes?"
Greg stood up on somewhat shaky legs and crossed the room bending over to a drawer that contained his sweats. He searches the drawer for a pair big enough for Nick. When he stood back up, he turned to find Nick standing directly behind him, a half smile on his face.
"Just admiring the view."
Greg smiles fondly. Yup he is one lucky guy.
========================================
Nick is an Ass Hole.
A complete and utter Ass Hole.
He's laughing and flirting with Greg; making plans with him about their relationship.
Not an hour ago, he broke his promise to Greg.
He was going to tell him...
He was planning to tell him...
Then he came in sweaty and smiling from his run and Nick just couldn't do it.
He couldn't lose this playful flirting.
Couldn't lose those perfect soft lips, even though they taste salty with sweat.
Couldn't lose those lingering looks.
Couldn't lose the feeling that he is the luckiest guy on earth because he thinks he might have found the one.
He wasn't ready to lose Greg.
So he smiles and flirts; he checks out Greg's ass and all the while feels like the scum of the earth.
"We going in to work today?" Greg asks walking out of the bathroom a pair of low-slung jeans clinging dangerously to his hips and a towel hanging around his shoulders.
"Ummmm s'up to you..." nick mumbles once again ‘admiring the view'
Greg apparently decides to ignore his blatant staring, "I can't sit around here all day I'll go crazy. Besides we need to talk to Grissom."
"We do? About what?" Nick asked nervously. He wouldn't be able to go with Greg to talk with Grissom about not passing the case on, not when he knew it was already too late. He wasn't that good of an actor.
"Yes, I want to let him know about us. Not everyone else just him, I know Grissom will be OK with it." Greg's voice became muffled for a second while he pulled a shirt on over his head, "and if anyone finds out and reacts badly it will be good to have him on our side. Unless you really don't want to?"
"No. No. That's fine, I wanted to let him know eventually and the sooner the better." Nick hastily agrees and tries not to look relieved.
"Good." Greg smiled giving Nick a quick kiss on the cheek before heading out of the bedroom.
Nick was an Ass Hole.
========================================
Grissom got to the office early, 6 hours early, which was a bit much even for him.
However, he knew if he was going tot get a hold of his NY counter part and fax him copies of the file he was going to need to be early.
Grissom got the case file and picked up the phone dialing the NY number
"
"Hi Mac, it's Gil Grissom, from the Las Vegas Crime Lab."
"Grissom, hello, how are you?"
"Good, yourself?"
"I'm doing well, How's your team?"
"They're doing well."
"Good Good.... So what can I do for you?" Mac said cutting to the chase.
"I've got a case for you. The crime took place in NY and all three of the suspects are NY resident."
"Fax us what you can overnight the rest."
"I would appreciate it if you could be as discreet as possible." Grissom requested.
"We always are. Is there something I should know?" Mac sounded intrigued.
"The victim is one of my CSI's. He doesn't know I've passed the case along, he just wants it to be dropped." Grissom knew that Mac, as a supervisor, understood where he was coming from. The desire to protect his subordinate but at the same time, solve the case.
"Alright," Mac said slowly, he probably hoped Grissom would give him more.
"You'll understand better once you have read the report." Grissom didn't want to have to repeat the details even one more time, Mac would have to settle for the report.
"I'll call you after I've finished reading it."
"I'll send it now." Grissom hung up the phone and headed to the fax machine.
An hour later Grissom's phone rang
"Grissom"
"I'll handle the case myself." Mac growled out, Grissom smiled internally he had known he would.
"Thank you."
Mac let out a half hum, half grunt and then the line went dead.
Grissom smiled Mac Taylor was on the case.
========================================
Nick and Greg headed over to Nicks apartment around eight so that Nick could get dress and because Greg had no food, that Nick would eat.
Nick made a gigantic breakfast: omelets, bacon, toast and pancakes.
"Man Nicky I didn't know you could cook." Greg said as they climbed back into the truck and headed to the lab a few ours early.
"Only breakfast, do you think Gris is going to be there?"
"It's almost 10 so yes, that's when he normally gets in right?"
"Yeah, that's about right."
They argued over the radio station as they normally would if they were on their way to a scene.
By the time they pulled into the lab parking lot they were listening to an oldies station. It was the only station in
Most of the time neither one broke.
"You ready for this?" Greg questioned smiling brightly.
"Yeah let's head in." Nick smiled though his stomach was in knots. ***
Grissom looked up from a cold case he was working on. "Sure come on in." Greg and Nick both looked nervous and Grissom wasn't quite sure why they were there.
Nick and Greg sat down on the other side of his desk. "What do you need?"
"We wanted to let you know that we, Nick and I, are umm" Greg stumbled blushing.
"We're dating" Nick squeezed Greg's hand a small smirk on his face.
"Congratulations" Grissom smiled glad that they were here for a happy reason.
"It won't affect our work." Greg added looking between Nick and Grissom pensively.
"I know it won't and if it does you'll hear about it."
"Yes sir." Nick and Greg rose and headed to the exit
"Greg," Grissom called; he knew that he should talk to Greg about passing the case on as soon as possible. Though, he did hate to ruin the moment. "I'd like to discuss the Bender case with you."
Greg froze in the doorway he shared a brief look with Nick before nodding and moving back into the room. Nick stood on the doorway for a second before heading out and shutting the door behind him.
"First of all, how are you doing?" Grissom asked.
"Truthfully? Horrible, I just want this to all be over." Greg sent a pleading look his way. Grissom knew what Greg wanted him to say and do, but he couldn't.
"Well it will be soon."
"Really?"
Grissom knew what Greg wanted him to say and do, but he couldn't. "Yes. I passed the case onto NY already and..."
"WHAT!" Greg jumped up out of the seat.
"I passed the case on."
"Nick said you were going to wait for me before you did anything." Greg began pacing back and forth across the room.
"I changed my mind." Grissom said taking on an air of nonchalance.
"Don't lie to me. Why?"
"I reread your statement. I don't like the idea of letting Bender continue to roam the streets."
"It wasn't that bad."
"He made a 10 year old boy touch him intimately and watch him masturbate I think it's pretty bad."
Greg froze mid-step, "What did you say?" His voice was low and dangerous.
Grissom replayed the words in his head instantly spotting his mistake. "I said he made a 10 year old boy touch him intimately and help him masturbate. "
Greg's jaw tightened he spun around and threw open the door.
Nick had better watch out.
========================================
In the last few days, Greg had been on an emotional roller coaster.
He'd been happy.
He'd be depressed.
He'd been scared.
He'd been confused.
He'd been hurt.
He'd been numb.
He'd been angry. Very angry.
Greg did not think he had ever been more angry in his entire life.
The focus of is rage? Nick fucking Stokes.
The second of hesitation before Grissom had "repeated" his words had given Greg all the answer he had needed. Nick had broken his promise.
Greg stormed through the crime lab in search of Nick. He spotted him sitting in the break room, a pensive look on his face.
He slammed the door to the room open startling Nick and the few members of swing shift in the room.
"Did you tell Grissom?" Greg demanded.
"W-what?" Nick stumbled out the look on his face giving him away.
"You heard me." Greg snapped
"Yes." Nick answered.
Greg slammed his fist down on the counter top.
"Uhhh we'll leave you two alone." A woman from swing shift said dragging her two curious coworkers behind her.
"I'm sorry" Nick reached for him but Greg stepped back.
"Shut up," Greg ordered. "Don't tell me you're sorry. You're not. "
"Yes, I am."
"If you felt bad you never would have done it." Greg turned his back to Nick, "When?"
"While you were out on your run," Greg's shoulders sagged at Nicks answer. "I do feel bad G. I didn't want to tell him but I had to. I'm incredibly sorry."
"Stop saying that. If you were sorry you would have told me." Greg turned back around, "If you were sorry you wouldn't have sat in my bed room joking around with me like nothing was wrong. If you were sorry you wouldn't have let me walk in there," He pointed toward Grissom's office. "Without any clue what was going on."
"I wanted to tell you." Nick admitted.
"But?" Greg took a step toward Nick.
"You came back and you looked happy and I didn't want to ruin that."
"So you let me make a fool of myself in front of my boss? You let me sit there and talk about how I wanted to make this work?" Nick was silent and after a minute, Greg grew tired of his silence, "Well"
"What do you want me to say?" Nick was beginning to sound frustrated.
"I don't know!" Greg snapped.
"I was going to tell you... Eventually, just not then." Nick sent a penetrating glance his way, "I shouldn't have promised you I would stay quiet."
"Why?" Greg asked though he was already sure of the answer.
"Because Bender could hurt another kid, I couldn't let that happen." Nick's voice took on a professional tone.
"This was all a case to you wasn't it..." Greg felt like someone had sucker punched him.
"No Greg not at all." Nick looked hurt by Greg's accusation but Greg blocked it out.
"Yes it was... You used me to get what you wanted." Greg paused swallowing the sudden heartache. "The second you had the chance you called Grissom and told him what I'd said." Greg shook his head ruefully, "I can't believe I was so stupid."
"It wasn't like that." Nick pled.
"I don't want to hear it. I need to get out of here. Tell Grissom I'm taking his offer up on the day off." He turned and hurried out of the building, ignoring everyone and everything just focused on getting to his car and out of the parking lot.
He managed to make it a few miles from the crime lab before e had to pull over. His entire body was trembling and he felt nauseous. He rolled down the window breathing in the cool night air.
He was at a total loss. This last blow was just too much for him to handle. He just wanted it to all be over. He couldn't handle it anymore. Every time he thought, it couldn't get any worse fate proved him wrong.
He must have been a very bad person in a past life.
Every time he got his life back together, something destroyed it again. He couldn't take it anymore. He didn't have the strength to put himself back together. Not anymore, not alone.
Nick had promised to be there for him. Another broken promise, what did it matter anymore? Why bother to pick it all back up?
He was alone and he was tired, so tired.
His cell phone rang suddenly startling him from his morbid thoughts. Greg glanced at the caller ID ‘Papa Olaf,' Greg let out a desperate giggle. That man always knew when he was feeling low.
"Hello Papa"
"What is going on my Boy?" Papa Olaf asked he sounded very worried.
Hearing his grandfathers voice, the one man on earth who had always had Greg's back was his undoing. A harsh sob forced its way out. "Everything's a mess Papa." He continued to sob for a minute before regaining slight control. "I don't know what to do."
"Hojem take a deep breath," Greg did. "Good now why don't you tell me what is going on."
"My uh coworkers found out something about me" Greg said not quite sure what to tell his grandfather.
"What happened to you when you lived in
"What? How?" Greg was in shock. Papa Olaf had seemed aware that something bad had happened to Greg in
"I've always known Hojem. I forced your mother to tell me. I decided to wait until you felt comfortable telling me yourself. I'd almost given up hope that day would come." His grandfather suddenly sounded old and weary, Greg's heart broke a little
"I'm sorry Papa... I'm so sorry... I wanted to leave but she made me stay..." Greg knew he was babbling but didn't care, "they knew Papa." He choked out, "they knew what he was going to do to me. What he'd done to me... "
"Oh Hojem." Papa Olaf sounded so sad, but the use of his pet name gave Greg some comfort.
"My coworkers found out and they already passed the case on. They're going to arrest Mom. I'm sorry Papa I tried to stop him to protect her but it was too late." Greg knew his grandfather would be upset. His mom was his only child his last link to his long dead wife.
"Why are you apologizing my boy?" Papa Olaf sounded genuinely confused.
"I'm sending you only child to jail." Greg explained, obviously his grandfather didn't understand.
"I love my daughter Gregory, but if she did what you say she did then she deserves to go to jail, for a long time." His grandfather paused and took a shaky breath "I should be the one apologizing, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, I should have insisted you stay in
"You helped me heal Papa, without you I don't know what would have happened to me." Greg owed his life to his grandfather.
"You're strong Hojem, you didn't need me."
"I'm not strong Papa..." Greg whispered.
"What else is bothering you Gregory?"
"My best friend at work."
"Nick?" Papa Olaf affirmed.
"Yes Nick. He was the lead CSI on the case, but I told him some things in friendship and he promised not to tell Grissom and he broke his promise." Greg felt a fresh wave of anger roll through him.
"What things?"
"The truth, what happened to me."
"You made him promise not to tell Mr. Grissom?" Papa sounded shocked.
"Yes..." Greg answered warily.
"Why would you make him promise such a thing?"
"I was trying to protect my parents. I just want to move on with my life" Greg defended.
"Gregory your mother is an adult she must suffer the consequences of her actions you don't need to protect her." Papa sounded frustrated a tone of voice Greg knew well.
"He still broke his promise." Greg petulantly threw in, not ready to let Nick off the hook so quickly.
"A promise you must have known he would not be able to keep." Papa argued. "Your Nick is an honorable fellow he would not have been able to stay silent, not when what he knew could get that monster off the streets."
Greg had no response his grandfather was right tough he didn't want to admit it.
"You have told me many times how honorable and how strongly he believes in justice. You can not like those traits only when they suit you Hojem, that's not fair to you young man."
"He's not my young man" Greg disagreed.
"If he's not yet he will be." Papa Olaf chuckled.
"Papa!" Greg snapped outraged and slightly amused.
"Think about what I've said Hojem. I love you." He hung up before Greg could get the last word.
"I hate it when he does that."
He spent the rest of the day driving around aimlessly thinking about what Papa Olaf had to say. He didn't want to go home half-afraid Nick would show up and half-afraid he wouldn't.
Around 4 AM, he found himself parked in front of Nick's house staring at the front door. His car was in the driveway so Greg knew he was home.
After a half hour of watching the house, he took a deep breath and climbed out of his car heading to the front door.
It was time to talk. ***
