Title: Too Weird
By: Bob
Pairing: Greg/Robbins
Rating: PG

***

He's not going to tell anyone. He's never going to tell them, because it's just way too weird. Some of them know he's bi--Sara because she saw him with his boyfriend at a club, Cath because she's just observant like that.

He wishes he didn't still get crushes like this, not least because it makes him feel like a kid, like he's still fourteen and living with his mom. And not least because it always seems to be on the *worst* people. He shouldn't be surprised and he tells himself that--after all, it's not his fault that most of the people he works with are so damn out of reach, so much older, so much more experienced. Even Nick and Sara. And Nick he used to have a crush on, when he first worked at the crimelab. Still does, when he's between boyfriends (or girlfriends). Nick's convenient to hero-worship like that, especially with that smile and that *ass*.

But he's not even going to *think* about this one, because it's way too weird even for him, the king of weird.

Funny, because he doesn't even see Robbins all that much. The coroner stays in the morgue and the labtech stays in his lab like a good little puppy. He thought it was rough when it was Grissom, but he muses that that was probably easy, since it's more than obvious that the boss would never reciprocate or even understand the concept. Smart guy though he is, he's got some kind of social anencephaly.

Greg's going to be glad when his hormones switch their target, because he's been having to run more errands than usual down to the morgue, and that's just not good. It's creepy down there and besides, Robbins is there, too, with his way too melty smile that ticks Greg off with the way it makes him feel all weak. It's getting worse all the time: last night he had a fucking *bizarre* dream where he actually *kissed* Robbins, and his beard was all thick wiry bristle and he smelled like formaldehyde and vicks vaporub.

He's made up his mind--he isn't even going to think about this, he's just going to focus on Nick's awesomely cute ass (preferably naked) until this whole thing goes away.

Because it's way, way too weird.