Title: What He Needed
By: postnotice
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Directly after the end of Big Shots. Nick asks why Greg told the DA to go easy on Aaron James.
Disclaimer:  I don't own CSI.

The night seemed to never end. Greg had to deal with the mother of the boy he had killed because of the stupid murder that linked Aaron James to the girl who died on the street. It swam around in his mind, and he knew that the guilt of killing a person would stay with him until the day he died - and then some, whether the family kept coming into his life or not.

All he wanted to do was go home, where Nick probably already was, considering he hadn't been in the lab all day. He had felt like breaking down when news first hit him, that Aaron James was linked, but Nick wasn't next to him, only that stupid DNA tech that replaced him was, and he didn't want to cry on her shoulder. And what the hell was her name, anyway? Mandy? Wendy? Even after he called them the right name, he still managed to mix them up.

He was thankful that it was a slow night and when Grissom came into the locker room at the end of Greg's shift he only wanted to ask him if it was true. If he had really told the DA to go easy on Aaron James. He didn't give out the entire story, mostly because he didn't think it mattered much. Well...to Grissom at least. Of course Grissom cared about him; he cared about everyone on his team.

He just didn't care about Greg in the way Nick could. And Nick's comfort was what Greg needed right now. This entire thing - the Demetrius James incident, the trial, the civil suit, and now this - was killing him inside and he knew Nick was the only one who would listen without doing anything else except whisper in Greg's ear and say everything was going to be okay.

Which was what Greg needed.

So as he made his way out to where his car stood, he was surprised to see a note stuck to the windshield. He wondered what it'd be doing there, but seeing as the top read 'Mr. Greg Sanders' he automatically ruled out Nick as the author.

He read through the letter, beginning to become angered and losing control of emotions. He let out a deep breath and climbed into his car, throwing the letter next to him and resting his head against the steering wheel.

Greg's cell phone rang as he let out a ragged sigh, and he picked it up. Nick. A smile grew on his features as he picked up the phone. "Sanders,"

"Hey, are you off shift yet?" came the Texan's voice, settling Greg's mind at once. The Texan always had this hold over him, and it had taken him four years to understand why. After which, he told Nick, and they began dating. After two and a half years, they moved in together.

"Yeah, I'm..." Greg thought it best to leave it out until he got back home. "...Just leaving," he started the car and began pulling out of the parking lot, wishing he would've stayed to talk to Nick for a few moments.

"Is there any chance you can pick up something for dinner? I forgot I was supposed to go shopping tonight," there was a hint of guilt in Nick's voice. "I'm sorry, it slipped my mind,"

"Yeah, it's alright. We'll have to go tomorrow after shift," Greg replied, happy that Nick couldn't see his face. The CSI was amazing at reading expressions - especially his - and he was relieved they were talking about dinner. "Any ideas?"

"I don't know. Something easy. You sound beat, I'm sure we'll end up getting to bed before our normal time," Nick's voice was slightly concerned. "Are you alright? I heard some things going around the lab..."

Greg sighed; Nick noticed. Trust the CSI to notice. Alright, fine. "Can you wait until I get home? I don't feel like talking about it over the phone,"

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence before Nick replied, voice soft. "Alright, G. I'll see you when you get home..."

"Yeah...you too. I love you," Greg smiled; he loved saying those words to Nick, even though he hadn't done so to anyone other than family a long time beforehand.

"Love you, too. Now come on, get home."

" Alright...Bye," Greg shut his phone after Nick's reply came, and threw it on the seat next to the letter as memories came rushing back. Someone honked a horn somewhere, jolting him from his thoughts. He looked in the rearview mirror to see Sara, waving him ahead.

He pulled out, still wondering if he should've said anything.

---

When he arrived home half an hour later, after getting pizza and beer for dinner, he finally opened the front door to his and Nick's temporary home. It was temporary because they had decided that when they were ready to have kids, they wanted a bigger house.

Greg set the bag and six pack on the counter, resting his head in his hands on the counter. "Hey," a voice said in his ear, arms snaking around his waist. "I didn't expect you for another half hour," Nick kissed the side of his head, taking in his scent. Greg smiled and closed his eyes, glad to finally be back in his lover's arms.

"Sara honked at me until I left the parking lot,"

"Yeah, yeah...I can see her do that," Nick pulled away, but not before planting another kiss against Greg's hair. Noticing the alcohol, he spun the younger man around. "This really got to you, didn't it?" Greg nodded, pulling Nick into a hug and squeezing tightly. "G, I can't do a good job of listening if I can't breathe," he gasped out, though deep down, he liked Greg hugging him so tightly. It made him feel loved. Sure, he loved hearing the words come from Greg's house, liked how they sounded on Greg's tongue, but he liked the feeling of being loved.

Greg pulled away with a smile, turning around to grab a knife to assist him as he ripped apart the pizza wrapping. Nick let out a low whistle. "Yeah. Grease and alcohol. Definitely got to you," he leaned around Greg and kissed him, setting the knife from his hands. "Settle. Everything's going to be okay," he kissed Greg again, giving him a reassuring smile, and pulled away, moving to sit at the island in the middle of their kitchen.

Greg threw the pizza into the stove, making sure Nick had heard correctly when he told him to preheat the oven before setting the timer. "I want this entire thing to go away. I'm sick of having to deal with them...the mother especially. And...the kid...he's just...I..." he shook his head, words defeating him. He turned to Nick, who was leaning on his elbows, looking at the floor. He glanced up at Greg and nodded slowly, telling the dirty blonde-haired male he could continue. He didn't. He walked into the living room and flopped down on the couch.

"I've told you this a million times, G; you did what you had to do. If he hadn't've been beating that kid, you would've been okay, he would still be okay, and the mother wouldn't be so pissed. It's not your fault," Nick's voice seemed to echo in Greg's head. No matter how many times his lover would tell him that, he couldn't seem to wrap his head around the fact it may be true.

"Yeah..." he mumbled. The letter suddenly popped into his head. "There's a letter the mother left on my windshield. It's sitting on the counter," Greg motioned, but knew Nick didn't see it.

Before he heard another word from Nick, the timer went off and he moved to get it. "No, stay there, I'll get it," came his boyfriends reply. Greg settled back into the couch. Moments later, Nick had managed to bring two plates, two beer bottles, and the letter over to the living room coffee table. He set them down, throwing the letter down. "You told the DA to go easy on him?" Greg nodded, opening the bottle and taking a long drink from it. "Why?"

Greg was silent as he thought of his answer. Nick opened his own bottle, prepared to give the young CSI as much time as he needed. "I...It went back to my mom. The mother said that Aaron was all she had left...Mom wanted four kids and only got one, you know? So...I guess it just hit a bit close to home, knowing that was the case. She lost one of her children, and to have the same guy going up against the one who...who killed her other probably isn't going to sit well with her,"

Nick gestured to the letter. "She seemed okay,"

Greg shook his head, setting the bottle down and cradling his head in his hands. "Yeah, until Aaron does something really stupid and gets himself locked up in jail for the rest of his life. Then where do I stand? She'll think I'm on the case and do everything in her power to say I'm only doing it because I've got something against her family," Nick rested his hand on Greg's forearm, the warmth getting Greg's mind to slow down a little.

"What happens in the future is going to happen. If Aaron decides to make bad choices, we'll just have to follow the evidence. There's no use in trying to fake out that it was someone else. The mother's going to have to deal with the fact that her two sons were criminals on her own. We're not therapists; we just get the guy who did it behind bars," Nick's voice was soft and Greg knew he meant well, but he couldn't stop the next line from entering.

"She's just going to think I'm framing him, Nicky," Nick smiled inwardly at the use of his nickname - it sounded so much better hearing it from Greg than anyone else. "She already asked what I had against her and her family. I know she'll just demand another person or another lab to work on it, just so she knows I don't have any say in what happens,"

Nick noticed the break in the end of his sentence and managed to pull the crying male into his arms. "What happens is going to happen, Greggo. You can't stop that. If Aaron makes bad choices, that's really his own fault. You just follow the evidence, find out what happened, and peg it to the right guy. It's not your fault if he's involved,"

Greg clung to Nick's clothing and finally let tears fall from his face. "Yeah, but...I just..."

"I know," Nick whispered, kissing the top of his lover's head. "I know,"

"I wish it wouldn't've happened,"

"I do too,"

The letter was forgotten on the coffee table as Nick comforted Greg in his arms, still open, as though it was waiting for closure.

Which was what Greg needed.

And, thinking back on it, Greg was pretty sure that's what he got.

Mr. Sanders -

I know what you told the DA. I can't tell you how thankful I am. I may not always seem like much of a compassionate person, but I'm sure you get that way after losing a child. I'm not saying that I want to be friends or anything more, I'm just telling you that I'm very grateful. I know my family has good intentions; it just doesn't always show.

I'm very sorry all of this has happened to you. I wanted to blame you because I couldn't stand blaming my own children for any crime. Which isn't fair. Demetrius did do that to you and to the victim, I just didn't want to see my baby do such a thing.

I'm very sorry for all the trouble my family has caused. I only thank you for your patience, strength, and determination. It may show Aaron not to interfere with the law.

Signed,

Mrs. James.