Title: When It's Over
Author: Jaxson K.
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I own nothing.....
A/N: This is told from Nick's POV.

***

Is this how it is when it's over? I guess so. I don't really have a lot of past experience to draw from. I've only had one serious relationship ever, and that was with Greg. He was my whole world. I never thought I could love someone like I love him. But, that's over now. I had too much baggage to try and deal with, and in the end, it destroyed the best thing I ever had.

He tried...God knows Greg did try, but even Greg's love and devotion weren't enough to battle the demons inside of me. I guess between the way I was raised and the prejudice I've seen in my life, I couldn't give the one thing that Greg wanted. He wanted to be able to tell our friends and families, and I couldn't do it. I was too afraid of the consequences.

We began to argue and fight over my inability to come out, and it eventually took its' toll. We found ourselves in that place where you tend to ignore each other instead of fighting all the time. I knew we were in real trouble when he moved into the guest room and started locking his door when he slept. He moved out while I was gone to Texas when my uncle died.

There are days when I can't bare the loneliness. I see Greg at the lab, and my heart breaks all over again. Other times I'm okay. But, I have to say, the bad times seem to always outweigh the good ones. When I'm at home, the silence is crushing. I'm so used to Greg's rock music, or the sound of a video game, or Greg talking a mile a minute. What's really bad is at night when I'm alone in our bed. I ache for Greg to reach out and hold me, but he's not there. Those are the nights when I cry myself to sleep.

You know, I could probably end all this but just bucking up and being a man instead of acting like a scared little boy. It's worth thinking about anyway.....

END