Title: Wide Open And Waiting For Something
By: karachilovaa14
Summary: Nick and Greg are tired of being alone, and are willing to give it one last shot. Post-ep for Kiss Before Frying.
Rating: NC-17
Warning: Slash, profanity, and a semblance of smut.
Genre: Romance/Drama
Spoilers: Major Spoilers for A Kiss Before Frying. Minor spoilers for Stalker, Play With Fire, Inside The Box, Grave Danger, Fannysmackin', Living Doll, Dead Doll, For Gedda, For Warrick, and Meat Jekyll. Also some Brokeback Mountain references.
Disclaimer: I don't own CSI blah blah blah...
Author's Note: Fooey! It took me AGES to write this! I started the night that Kiss Before Frying came out and I've only JUST finished! That's like three and a half months =D So, if for no other reason except that I put a lot of effort into this, and because I'm practically BEGGING you to, please review this. It would really mean a lot to me!

***

Look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive
Look me in the heart and tell me you won't go
Look me in the eye and promise no love's like our love
Look in the heart and unbreak broken

Greg sighed; as comforting as it was to have Nick's naked body spooning his, it didn't make the pain go away. "All I want to do, all I've ever wanted to do, is find love and settle down," complained the Californian, waving his arms about. Nick reached over Greg's body and grasped his wrists gently, bringing them down to rest on the bed. "I know I've made some stupid decisions where my love life is concerned, but why'd I have to fall for Rita von Sociopath?" he spat, bitterness seeping from his voice.

"Yeah, you're not very good at falling for the right people," muttered Nick, turning on to his back, and staring up at the fan.

Greg shivered at both the loss of contact, and Nick's self-derogatory statement. He still remembered, in perfect detail, the day he and Nick had broken up. It had been four years ago, and even though, over time, they had perfected the 'just friends' routine, no one Greg dated felt right, not the way Nick felt right. Ellen didn't make him laugh hard enough; Riley didn't flirt quite right; and none of the almost-serious two week boyfriends and girlfriends fucked him the way Nick did.

Greg turned on his other side, facing Nick. He propped himself up on his elbow, and lay his other hand on Nick's bare chest. "Our breakup wasn't entirely your fault," he murmured. "We both made some bad decisions."

"I cheated on you, G."

Greg shrugged. "I dated Ellen, didn't I? Or...Rita; whatever her name is."

"That was after we broke up."

Greg shrugged. "What's the difference?"

Nick nodded slowly, and turned to face Greg, mirroring his position. Despite the serious conversation, Nick had to admit that Greg's legs tangled up in his felt so familiar and so good. But he knew, that just because they had fallen into bed together, didn't mean that everything was alright between them. It didn't mean that everything that had happened would disappear. Nick had still slept with a bartender and Greg had still gone out with a stripper. And then there was everything else in between...

"Did you love her?" Nick couldn't help but ask. Something not quite like curiosity, and not quite like jealousy surged through him.

"I guess so..." replied Greg dully."I think that, in time, I could have loved her."

"Did you sleep with her?"

"No," Greg replied quickly. "I almost did, but I couldn't go through with it. You know that I don't believe in sex on the first date."

"You slept with me on our first date."

"Yeah, well, she's not you," Greg snapped, covering up his bashfulness with anger.

"So...she was just a fling to you?"

"No! I don't have flings!" objected Greg. Nick winced at Greg's implications: that Nick did have flings. And could he argue? No. No matter what Greg said, they both knew that it was Nick's fault they ended it.

"Look, Nick," continued Greg. "I don't know what happened with Ellen, okay? I just know that it fucking hurt!"

"Greg...You know I would never hurt you like that," Nick breathed.

"Not intentionally," Greg muttered, his voice seeping with bitterness.

Nick winced; Joe: the biggest mistake of his life. Nick and Greg had had some big fight (Nick didn't even remember what it was about), and Nick had ended up at a bar. When he was too drunk off his ass to drive, Joe the bartender offered to take him home. But not Nick's home, Joe's home. And they got it on, and things got fucked up. And then... Greg moved out and it was over. And now, Greg was in his bed after a few days with that peach-smelling skank, and what were they supposed to do now? They couldn't go back, no matter how hard they tried. They couldn't just pretend that none of it had happened.

"Why'd ya stay?" asked Nick quietly. Greg looked up at him, a silent question drawn out on his face. Nick elaborated. "After I... fucked Joe, you waited a week before walkin' out on me. Why?"

Greg shrugged, still sleepy despite the post-coital nap they had taken earlier. "It took a while for me to grasp that it had really happened, that you had really cheated on me," admitted Greg quietly. Guilt pricked at Nick, and just as he was about to reply, Greg continued. "When we first got together, I remember thinking that you were the one for me. I was so sure of it...Jesus Christ that seems like such a long time ago."

"It was," breathed Nick, trapped in his own memories. "We got together right after the lab explosion, remember?"

Greg nodded. "You gave to my house saying you knew how it felt to be thrown out of a window, and you helped me work through things.

"We talked it through, and you started calling me whenever you had a nightmare," continued Nick.

"And you would come over, and then one day... I kissed you," finished Greg with a nostalgic sigh.

The two men sat in silence for a moment, both basking in their own memories. Greg couldn't help but think of all the good times they had shared, each memory making him miss Nick even more. But he refused to verbalize his thoughts; he knew if he said it out loud it would just make him fall in love with Nick even more. He couldn't fall in love with Nick; not again. Not after the twelve months of hell he went through after their breakup.

"Remember our first time?" said Nick, eventually. "We were together for a whole month before we worked up the nerve to go out in public. So we went on our first date to some fancy Japanese restaurant-"

"Musaki," interrupted Greg, both hating and loving Nick for talking about that night.

"Yeah, whatever," dismissed Nick, reminding Greg why they broke up in the first place. Some things never changed. "We came back to your place, and it just happened," continued Nick dreamily. "It was our first time with guys, and none of us knew shit. We were flounderin' round like a pair of catty whompus crusties!"

Greg laughed; even after dating Nick for four years Greg didn't understand half of his Texas slang. "I owe that to your surprisingly small package," joked Greg, grinning. It felt good to crack jokes like nothing had changed.

"Ya little ingrate," Nick mock-snarled, lunging for the younger man.

"Hey!" yelled Greg, scurrying to the corner of the bed. "I was just kidding! You know what they say," Greg put on a Texan accent. "Everythin' is bigger in Texas."

"And you better not forget it," growled Nick, yanking the blanket off his not-quite-lover. Greg rolled his eyes, and shuffled closer, pulling the blanket back over himself.

"But, seriously, we really were floundering crusties—or whompusses...or whatever. But now look at us," Greg breathed, sobering up. "You know my body better than I do."

Nick stared at Greg, open-mouthed. For a moment, he couldn't speak. The love, longing and pain in Greg's eyes was overwhelming. The joking around, the sentimentality, the stare that meant more than any words could, they were all glimpses into Nick and Greg's past life together. A life that Nick obviously wanted back; a life which Greg refused to let himself want back.

"I threw my life away when I slept with Joe. Come back to me, G. We could be happy together," begged Nick, his fingers fluttering over Greg's cheek.

"We were happy together," exclaimed Greg, "for four marvelous years. But then you cheated on me, Nick! You don't know what hell I went through! For an entire year after the breakup I spent all my time at work or at home drinking booze. I can't go through that again! I got hooked on drugs in college, and nearly got raped because of it!" screamed Greg. Nick sobered up, remembering how after a hard case, Greg had told him all about how he had been a heroin addict and only after a close encounter with a real creep, did he go cold turkey and suffer through the worst pain he ever had to bear. "When I started drinking I was scared shitless that I wasn't gonna be able to stop! But I did stop. I moved on! Now you gotta too!"

"Don't you think I've tried?" snarled Nick, angry at the accusation. "Why do you think I cheered you on with Ellen?'Cause I thought if you moved on I could move on!"

"Oh you cheered me on, huh?" scoffed Greg. "No, you told me to catch 'the pop-fly hit right to me'," he continued mockingly, shaking his head in disbelief "Then you decided to be an ass and gloat over your 'I told you so' moment. But you weren't ever a little jealous, right? Just 'cheering me on'!"

"Well it's not like you really moved on either," accused Nick, hating the sarcasm in Greg's voice. "Stop shitting me, G! I know you too well for that! You were so hell-bent on getting over me that you were completely blind to everything Ellen did! You weren't blind in love, you were blind in tryna get out of it!"

"And it didn't work," muttered Greg, knowing every word of what Nick said was true. "Nothing fucking works with you."

"Greg... I made a mistake. I'm the kinda guy who wears his heart on his sleeve. So I got emotional, and I got plastered, and I fucked things up. But it was the biggest mistake of my life. I know that," Nick paused, and chewed at his bottom lip. He sighed and shook his head resignedly. "I'm sorry, G. I'm the reason everything's so messed up right now."

"It wasn't your fault; not entirely," said Greg with a sigh. Another reason they didn't work out: Greg was too forgiving. His mother told him that all the time. Nick pulled so much shit, and Greg just put up with it. Although he wouldn't admit it when they were dating, in hindsight, Greg realized that Nick did some things that would have ended any relationship: Nick almost broke up with Greg because of one PDA in front of Sara who already knew about their relationship anyway; he went to New York for a conference, and didn't think to tell Greg about it, as thought Greg wasn't even slightly significant in Nick's life; when Greg confronted him about what happened with Joe, Nick punched him hard enough to bruise. And even then Greg didn't walk out. It was only after Greg's mother came to visit, and gave him a long lecture about how Nick and Greg were doing each other more harm than good, did Greg finally end it. And she was right; Greg had looked at himself in the mirror long and hard after that conversation, and he saw changes in himself that he didn't expect to see for years: the bruise on his cheek was bad enough, without the weight loss, the stress lines, the dark circles under his eyes. The three and a half years Nick and Greg spent together had made Greg feel younger than ever, but their last few months together had made him age ten years.

But that wasn't to say that Greg didn't make his own share of mistakes. And however stubborn he had been four years ago, he was now ready to accept his own mistakes. He had wanted Nick to come out to his parents, and to their friends at the lab. He had wanted to move in with Nick, buy a dog, maybe think of adopting a kid. They had been together for four years, and Greg was ready to move on in their relationship. Greg already practically lived at Nick's, only going home to collect his mail. Greg's parents had known about their relationship, and were completely supportive. Knowing his own parents had his back, Greg was certain that's Nick's would be equally supportive, even though, deep down, he knew he was comparing apples and oranges. Push turned to shove, and they started having more fights than Greg could count. Both men were already emotionally strung out from their jobs and the Demetrius James incident, and trouble at work and at home stressed them out even more. Every case was ten times harder for both of them: every rape, every dead child, every abuse victim. And Greg was ashamed to admit that he had used every bad case as ammunition against Nick, by fighting with him when he was already riled up because of a case.

"Sure, you slept with Joe, but you did it for a reason, remember? I fucked things up, Nicky; you just took it the last stretch home."

"Yeah, well, I shoulda toughed it out," muttered Nick.

"I don't know, Nick," argued Greg quietly. His fingers trailed down Nick's biceps, and he inhaled sharply, forcing himself to calm down. "Maybe you did the right thing."

Nick pulled away from Greg like he'd been burnt. "You mean, you're happy we broke up?"

"Of course I'm not happy, Nick! But I should be happy, shouldn't I? I just had sex with the man who might be the one for me, years after we convinced ourselves that we were 'just friends'! But, that doesn't mean that by falling into bed together, all our problems are gone! And it doesn't mean I'm happy, Nick! And neither are you! Maybe... maybe we're just not right for each other—

"We're perfect for each other! I love you!"

"And I love you," Greg admitted hesitantly, sure that he was setting himself up to be heartbroken again. "But sometimes, love just isn't enough."

"Stop with the overused clichés would ya!"

"Nick, we can't keep pretending! I can't pretend that what you did with Joe doesn't bother me, and you can't pretend that what happened with Ellen didn't bother you!" yelled Greg, sitting up in bed.

"Joe was a mistake!"

"And so was Ellen," spat Greg, leaning back against the headboard. "But maybe we are too. Maybe this is a mistake." Nick looked at him desperately, shaking his head, him lips parted in a silent 'no'. "Nicky...I can't do this anymore," begged Greg. "I don't I could stand another broken heart."

"I'm not gonna break your heart again, G. Not this time."

"You've broken my heart too many times, Nick. And I'm not just talking about the break-up..." said Greg vulnerably. "Every time you wanted to fuck, even when I was too tired or stressed out. Every time you came home from work, stressed out, but refused to talk about it. Every time you were pissed at me about something stupid like loading the dishwasher wrong! Every time you fell asleep when I needed advice!" Greg paused, breathing hard. He forged on, his voice dripping with venom as he accused Nick again and again. "Every time I woke up from a nightmare all alone, because you were too busy watching football! Every time you threatened to break up with me, or made me feel like I wasn't good enough for you! Every time you fought with me because I flirted with you at work, even though you know I flirt with everyone! Every time you asked waitresses for their number just so that the guys wouldn't think you were queer!" He spat out the word like it made him sick, and Nick swallowed down his discomfort. "Every time, Nick! Every time my heart broke a little bit more!"

Guilt ate at Nick, but at the same time, anger rose in him. "You think it was so easy living with you, huh Greg? What about all your uncalled for spurs of insecurity? How do you think it felt when you kept doubting my fucking love for you? Or when you kept pushing me to come out to my family, even after my cousin was kicked out on his ass by Uncle Jack, 'cause he was caught makin' out with a guy? Do you think it was easy watchin' your parents take care of you when my parents didn't give a rat's ass? Not to mention that your Dad accused me of abusing you three times while he was here to visit! Do you think it was easy? Do ya? Answer me!"

"Stop yelling at me," said Greg through clenched teeth. His voice was steely, not betraying his fear. His heart was beating wildly in his chest, and although he hated to admit it, part of him was afraid that Nick was going to hit him again.

Nick sighed tiredly, his anger dissipating. "I'm sorry, G."

"See!" said Greg emphatically. "This is what I mean! We can't go through one night without fighting! We're both too hot-headed! We're not good for each other, Nicky!"

Greg shook his head angrily, and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He stood up, needing to get away.

"Yes, we are!" insisted Nick. He reached over the bed, and gripped Greg's wrist. "We're great for each other," he continued softly, tugging at Greg's wrist. Greg sat back onto the bed with a soft thud. Nick let go of Greg's wrist and entwined their fingers together instead. He squeezed Greg's hand encouragingly, but Greg refused to look at him. He sat with his back to Nick, but kept his feet planted firmly on the hardwood floor. "Think of the good times, G."

Greg shook his head vehemently, not wanting to be reminded of their lives together. He couldn't let Nick remind him of everything he once had. He had to forget, even though the not-quite-make-up sex earlier had brought back memories with frightening accuracy.

When Greg didn't respond, Nick egged him on. "Remember, G? Like the time your parents surprised us with a visit while we were getting it on in the shower? Or when you bought tickets to see Les Misérables for our one year anniversary, and we ended up not goin' cause I had set up a picnic at Lake Mead? Then you got pissed at me, cause you were sure we'd find a dead body out at the lake!" Nick chuckled. "And we were foolin' around, and somehow you ended up face first in the water-"

"And you freaked cause you thought I was drowning," said Greg wistfully.

"And when I came to help you up, you pulled me down too"

Greg half-turned around and grinned at Nick. "And then we did find a dead body in the water," the two men said in unison.

Greg's smile slowly melted away, and he shook his head slowly. "This isn't good for us, Nick. You inviting me over, and me kissing you, and...Why'd you let me do it, Nick? Why'd you let me start somethin' that you know isn't going to end right?"

"What if I don't want it to end?" Nick rasped. He spun around, and gripped Greg's shoulder in a vice grip. "Huh, G?" he continued, yanking Greg down on the bed, so that he was half lying down. Greg pushed his feet down onto the ground, needing the reality check, but didn't move to sit up. Nick flipped onto his stomach and lowered himself down, so that his face was just barely touching Greg's. He kissed a line down Greg's forehead and nose, his mouth fluttering over Greg's skin like a ghost. Greg gasped when Nick's butterfly kisses suddenly increased in intensity as he captured Greg's lips passionately. Nick pulled away gasping, only to twist around so that he was lying directly over Greg. He initiated another violent kiss, and pressed his entire body into Greg's.

Greg arched upwards into Nick, and moaned into his mouth. His entire body trembled with desperation, and he snaked his shaking hands around Nick's neck. The pair continued to exchange sloppy and needy kisses. Nick twisted his hands in Greg's cropped hair, enticed by the hot, sticky skin beneath him.

They broke apart, both panting for breath. Greg stared into Nick's eyes, emotion rolling off him in waves. That hard core make out session had more emotion in it than the sex earlier. It reminded Greg of their earlier days, when they were too uncertain to get past second base. Then, as suddenly as it had left him earlier, his apprehension was back.

"What are we doing, Nick?" whimpered Greg.

When Nick saw the desperation and the smallest, tiniest, hint of tears in Greg's eyes, he backed off, pushing himself off Greg and into a sitting position. Greg stayed where he was, his hands on either side of his head, just begging Nick to pin them down and ravish Greg again. But he stayed where he was, knowing that Greg needed his space.

Nick stared at Greg and Greg stared at the ceiling. Their own heartbeats pounded loudly in their ears, beating in time with the seconds that passed. Nick knew that no matter what Greg said, they were meant for each other. The Love was everywhere, for fuck's sake! If Greg just accepts what's staring him in the face, instead of over-thinking like he always does, we could be getting in on right now! Although Nick wasn't all for the sex like he had been before he met Greg, right now, he couldn't help but get turned on by his naked almost-boyfriend lying uncovered on his bed. It had been so long since Greg had been in his arms, and then Greg's fall-out with that skank stripper had brought them back together. And Nick didn't think he could let him go, not again. He needed this. But now he needed to give Greg what he needed. Nick thought wryly that, even if they were terrible at all the other relationship stuff, they pulled off compromise pretty damn well.

"Okay, G," said Nick diplomatically. He got out of bed and started getting dressed. "You go shower, and I'm gonna make us some pancakes." He buckled his belt and walked over to Greg, who was sitting up in bed looking confused. Nick caressed his cheek gently and smiled. "We'll talk over breakfast, okay? And figure all this out. It's gonna be okay. I promise," he whispered, and grazed his lips over Greg's in a barely-there kiss.

Nick turned, ladle in hand, when he heard Greg enter the kitchen. He couldn't help but stare at the sight before him. Greg stood in the doorway, his cheeks red and his eyes hazy from the shower. His lips were parted slightly, as he breathed in the scent of blue berry pancakes. Greg's light blue t-shirt was bunched up around his shoulders, and his jeans were unbuttoned, and hugged his body low on his hips, leaving the waistband of his grey Abercrombie and Fitch boxers uncovered. His belt was unbuckled, and hung loosely from the belt loops of his jeans.

A small smile fluttered across Nick's face and he took a step towards Greg, dropping the ladle unceremoniously onto the counter top. His smile broadened, and his hands lifted involuntarily to hook his fingers in Greg's belt loops and yank him closer for a mind-numbing kiss. But Greg pulled away at the last minute, taking a hesitant step backwards. Nick winced; it was a harsh reminder that Greg wasn't his boyfriend anymore. It wasn't his right to bend down and button up Greg's jeans like he used to when they were together. It's wasn't his right to just pull them off, and fuck Greg on the kitchen counter. It wasn't his right to run his hands through Greg's dripping wet hair. It wasn't his right to lick the water off Greg's neck. It wasn't his right to strip off Greg's clothes and admire his body over breakfast. It wasn't his fucking right, because Greg wasn't his fucking boyfriend anymore.

"Breakfast's ready," said Nick with a forced smile. The ice was broken, and an excited grin encompassed Greg's face, as he brushed past Nick to get the orange juice. Nick inhaled sharply when Greg's bare skin brushed against his in a barely-there touch. Even now, after years of passionate kisses and love-making, it was the small, chaste touches that sent shivers down Nick's spine. He whirled around, and threw himself against Greg just as he closed the refrigerator door. His lips met Greg's violently, and he shoved him into the refrigerator hard. Greg groaned, whether in pleasure or pain, Nick wasn't sure. Nick's hands ran up and down Greg's chest, and he moaned into Greg's mouth when he felt Greg leg snake around his and pull him closer. The carton of orange juice slipped out of Greg's loose grip and fell to the ground with a loud thud, startling them both. The spell broken, Greg pulled away, and brought his face up to Nick's ear. Nick shivered when he felt Greg's wet hair press against the side of his face.

"You're so fuckin' persistent,' Greg slurred breathlessly, his breath dancing across Nick's ear.

Greg pulled away and rolled his eyes dramatically. Lifting his shirt up from where it had fallen on the floor, he stared at the carton on the floor, and the puddle of orange juice pooled around it, finally deciding not to pick it up. He held out his shirt in front of him and frowned at the large orange juice stains on it. His feet and the bottom of his jeans were growing sticky because of the spilt juice, and he groaned at the prospect of having to change yet again.

"I'll go change," he said with a sigh.

"And I'll lay the table," replied Nick warmly, leaning in for a small peck while Greg was off-guard.

"Get away from me, you asshole!" exclaimed Greg, pushing Nick away from him. He pouted, but his lips twitched in a shadowy smile. "Bye Tex," he said flirtatiously as he left the room.

Nick cleaned up the floor, and placed the carton of juice on the table, along with the pancakes and a couple of forks. He paused; when they were together, he and Greg usually ate breakfast out of the same plate, but now they had broken up. Nick contemplated taking out another plate for Greg, when the latter zipped into the room, sat down, and started devouring the pancakes without a thought. Nick blinked; well that was settled.

Greg was now dressed in one of Nick's Texas A&M sweatshirts and a pair of Nick's jeans that were way too big for him. "I tossed my clothes in the hamper okay?" He said between bites. "And I can't find my jacket. I guess it got lost somewhere between me showin' up at your apartment, peach in hand, and you tearing off my clothes. And speaking of that peach...God these are good," said Greg taking another bite. Nick's pancakes always distracted him "Speaking of that peach, I never did finish eating it. Not that I want to, especially when I can eat these heavenly pancakes instead. My point is, you should probably find it before it rots and stinks this whole place up."

Smile turned to grin as Nick listened to Greg go on and on, all the while devouring the pancakes with a passion. "You're adorable," purred Nick, staring that Greg fondly. Greg looked up and frowned, tilting his head to the side comically. A small pink tongue darted out to lick his lips and then he shrugged and returned to his food. Nick shook his head in amusement and started to dig in, knowing that in just a few minutes Greg would finish all the pancakes regardless of whether Nick had had his share or not. Not that he minded. On the contrary, Nick loved that Greg was so passionate about his pancakes, especially because they were about the only thing he knew how to cook.

Greg suddenly stopped eating and pushed the plate away. He looked up at Nick and frowned in concentration. Once again, like every day for since they first got together, Nick marveled at how much Greg had changed and matured. From a zany, obnoxious lab rat, to the scared little boy he was after the lab explosion. From a tactless CSI wannabe to a seasoned investigator. And then this: this grown man who Nick was so damn proud of. With his cropped blond hair, and his chiselled features; with his serious and yet humorous nature. This beautiful young man had somehow surpassed all of them; he was as efficient at his work, and somehow, through it all, he was the only one who always kept it together. Who would have thought that that crazy lab tech would turn into this amazing, charismatic, compassionate, calm and collected young man? He knew exactly who he was and exactly who he wanted to be. He was perfect.

"You're beautiful," said Nick affectionately, reaching across the table and placing his hand over Greg's on the table.

But Greg ignored Nick, still staring at him, over him, through him and past him. "Look at us," said Greg finally. Nick frowned and looked down at himself and then up at Greg. He raised an eyebrow in confusion. "No! I mean just... look," interjected Greg, grabbing Nick's jaw and turning his face to look into his eyes. "One night together, and we've already slipped back into relationship mode. Well, we can't just do that! If we want this to work, then we have to do it right!"

Nick swallowed heavily. "So you do want to get back together?"

"What? I..." Greg trailed off as he realized what he had just said. He closed his eyes and sighed angrily. "I don't, I don't know what I want, okay?"

"Hey," Nick said gently. "Calm down. I know this is hard, jumping back into this so soon after an encounter with your very own femme fatale. And I sorry, if I'm rushing you, I just...I've missed you," he finished with a shrug.

"I know, I know. I...I've missed you too," Greg admitted with a blush. "I've missed waking up in your arms. I miss having someone to come home to each night. I miss the house," Greg looked away from Nick bashfully, and started playing with the edge of the table cloth. "Even though I never moved in, this place was more of a home to me than the apartment."

"This place isn't the same without you," admitted Nick. "I...I never sit in the arm chair," confessed Nick, not meeting Greg's gaze. When they were together, there were days when Greg would take up permanent residence on that ratty old armchair; eating, working, sleeping and writing on it. "Not once since you left. 'Cause...it was your chair. Still is."

Greg nodded even though Nick couldn't see him, because they were both looking pointedly away from each other. This was the first time they had ever admitted to each other how they had really felt after the break up. Until now, every day had been a mad struggle for Nick and Greg to show one another how 'happy' and 'okay' they were. Every day was a facade of fake dates, fake smiles and fake happiness. But the truth was that without each other's company and support, every case was that much harder to handle, every nightmare was that much harder to forget, every funk was that much harder to overcome, and after every bad day it was that much harder to control the tears.

But after he and Nick broke up, Greg still had Sara to confide in...right? No. Because a few weeks after their breakup, Sara was kidnapped, and then Greg found out from Grissom, that he and Sara had been in a relationship. Greg had confided in Sara about his entire relationship with Nick, from the first kiss to the day they broke up; from the pre-relationship hope to the post-relationship pain; from when the longing turned to love and the love turned to pain to when the pain turned to longing all over again; from the times when Greg wasn't sure Nick wanted to be with him, to the times he wasn't sure he wanted to be with Nick; from the day he declared he and Nick were done, to the day he realized he didn't want them to be done. And finally, to the day he realized there was nothing he could fucking do about any of it; to the day he accepted that he would never ever be happy with Nick again...until today.

But Greg hadn't known a thing about Sara's relationship with Grissom. Not a fucking thing. Not that's that what's he told Nick. No, as far as Nick was concerned, Greg had known all along, just, you know, 'not in so many words'. So why'd he lie to Nick? Well, because, he should have known for one. Sara was his best friend, and he was hers, and he should have fucking known. And then, there was always that little string of pride that wanted him to remind Nick that he was fine, that he was a-okay, even if he had just lost his boyfriend, the most important person in his life, and was feeling increasing isolated from his best friend too; even if he felt more alone than ever, because the only people he could ever confide seemed to be slipping through his fingers like sand. Nick had to know (or at least had to think) that Greg's life was fucking perfect, because if Nick knew even an ounce of the truth, than Greg knew he would go crawling back to Nick without a thought, and that's not what he needed. Even if that's what he was fucking doing anyway.

"I don't know," said Nick finally. 'I don't know why I fucked Joe. I guess...I guess I was just so angry. At you, at myself, at my parents...I just-I couldn't handle it all anymore."

"So you cheated on me," said Greg, his voice tight with suppressed anger. Nick opened his mouth to speak but Greg cut him off. "Just listen to me for a minute! I know I wasn't the easiest person to live with back then, but I needed you," he choked emphatically. "And you weren't there!"

Nick closed his eyes, shame overcoming him. Not only had he done the worst possible thing he could, not only had he cheated on Greg, he had done so just a couple of months after the beating, when Greg was still wracked with pain and fear and guilt and nightmares. "I know, I know, I know. And that's the one thing in my life that I regret more than anything. I'm—"

"You're what, sorry? I know you're sorry, Nick! And I'm sorry too, for everything! And I know that you love me. I know that you loved me every day for the four years we were together. But that doesn't change the fact that you cheated on me. You fucked someone other than me, while we were still together. You stuck your fucking cock into someone else's ass, and do you know how that makes me feel?"

"No I don't," admitted Nick quietly. He met Greg's gaze, a question stretched out in the silence between them. How does it make you feel?

Greg's eyes narrowed slightly, and chewed at his bottom lip. He took a deep breath, and Nick knew he would get his answer. He could see it in Greg's eyes. "At first, I couldn't believe it," Greg began, his gaze turned deliberately away from Nick's. "I wouldn't believe it. And then... when it finally sunk in, and I broke up with you... I spent every moment wondering what happened that night. If you called out his name when you came. If the sex was better with him. If he pleasured you the way I did. If...if you loved him more than me..." Greg swallowed, his Adam's apple faltering as it bobbed up and down uncertainly. His throat felt uncomfortably tight. "After that... I...I don't know. I missed you so much, but I knew that I could never talk to you the same way, or kiss you the same way, or touch you, or feel your skin against mine. And, having to see you every fucking day, while knowing that you weren't mine, that was... that was hell."

Nick squeezed Greg's hand supportingly, as if to say, I know I felt the same way. But he didn't say a word, mostly because he didn't know how. Since they had broken up, Nick had always thought that Greg was happier without him; that was how Greg made it seem. But now he was finding out that Greg had been as heartbroken as him; as heartbroken and as lost and as empty. And did that mean that there was some hope for them? Did it mean that Greg wanted him back? That maybe this was going to end in more than just an awkward one night stand that they never spoke of again?

"You know what the worst part was?" said Greg, drawing Nick's attention back to him. "That it was so easy to forgive you. I kept justifying what you did because... because I refused to believe that you would have cheated on me without a fucking good reason. And then, it just became so hard to stay angry at you, and that made me angry at me. Because, because I just kept explaining everything away, to... to Sara, to my mum, to myself. And I was so fucking angry at myself for not being angry at you... and, and that scared me. Because if I couldn't stay angry at you, then I would want you back. And I was scared to want you back, because I knew I couldn't have you back."

"What about now?" Nick said softly. "How do you feel now that you know you can have me back?"

Greg looked away and licked his lips. He shook his head in a jerky, involuntary motion, as though he was trying to scatter his thoughts. "I'm still scared." He nodded matter-of-factly, but Nick detected the slightest nervous tremor in his hand as he curled it into a fist around the tablecloth.

"Greg," he said slowly, drawing out the word in a way that made Greg shiver. This voice held a mixture of amusement and concern, and it made Greg want to smile and cry and scream and laugh and... dammit. "Greg, I love you. I've loved you for years before we got together, and I've loved you for years after we broke up. And I still love you, Greg. I will always love you."

"I know," said Greg softly. He swallowed heavily. If he could just drown in those words, he would die a happy man. "And, honestly, that's what scares me. If you loved me then, and you love me now, and if you ch-cheated on me then... how do I know you won't cheat on me now?"

Greg stared at the red checks on the table cloth, and traced them idly with his fingers, hating the way they trembled. "Greg, look at me," commanded Nick gently. How was Greg supposed to defy him when Nick spoke to him as if to say, 'Don't worry, G. It's your choice. You don't haveta look at me if you don't want to,' while still screaming out, 'Please, please, please Greg. If I don't see your beautiful chocolate eyes right now, I might just shrivel up and die'?

Greg looked up and saw tears in Nick's eyes. He swallowed back his own tears, and realized that even after four years he could still feel Nick's pain stronger than even his own. Fucking soul mates right?

"Greg, I know this doesn't count for much," Nick struggled. "I know that what's done is done. But... but I haven't slept with anyone since we broke up. All the dates, the one night stands, the hook-ups... fucking lies." Nick shook his head sincerely. "I haven't fucked anyone since you left."

"I fucked people," said Greg absentmindedly. He was too caught up in what Nick had said to extinguish that spark of defiance in himself—and the words had just slipped out. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like..." he trailed off when he realized that Nick wasn't angry, just curious. Greg licked his lips and forged on. "I never had any one night stands. All the people I slept with, they all seemed like the real deal at the time. And now," Greg barked out a bitter laugh. "Now I can't even remember their names." He opened his mouth to continue but hesitated.

"Go on," Nick said encouragingly, and Greg wondered how he could be so calm. Greg had gone ballistic when he heard about Nick's affair with Joe. He had even punched his way through the kitchen window—and Greg was rarely violent. And Nick, whose anger was uncontrollable, was calm as ever.

"I would never have admitted it at the time, not even to myself, but... all I ever did was think of you with I was with my..." Dates? Fuck buddies? Lovers? Significant others? "Sexual exploits... Does he smell like Nick? Does she taste like Nick? What's Nick doing right now? Does Nick know I'm out of a date? Does Nick miss me? Does Nick love me? Does Nick want me back? Does Nick want to fuck me? Does Nick know that I'm thinking of him, while fucking what's her face?" he laughed humourlessly. "So yeah, I guess I never really got over you."

Greg clasped his hands together on the table, and leaned forwards subconsciously. Nick curled his hands into fists and forced the urge to devour Greg there and then. There was something very flirtatious about the defiant look in Greg's eyes and his thin lips, pursed into a pout. Nick could almost disregard what Greg had just said, except that he could see that Greg's attractive stance hid a bristling challenge, because he had just admitted on moving on after the break up, and fuck if Nick could disregard that. But he was going to keep his cool—he wasn't going to punch the table, or the fridge or, God forbid, Greg. Not this time.

Nick closed his eyes and struggled against the strange tightness in his chest and throat. He tried not to think of Greg in bed with someone else, but it was becoming increasingly difficult not to think of his soft skin under someone else's body; his skillful tongue in someone else's mouth; his soulful eyes staring into someone else's; the soft little moans that were so very Greg flowing out of his mouth because someone else was pleasuring him...

It was him feel sick. And not just because of the thought that Greg had been with someone else, but because he finally understood how Greg had felt when Nick cheated on him. Shame burnt through his stomach like acid, and for a moment Nick was sure he was going to be physically ill. He stood shakily and poured himself a glass of water. He pressed the cool glass to his forehead and leaned against the counter, eyes closed. He just needed to think.

Greg seemed to know what Nick needed, because he didn't say a word. Nick could still feel Greg's eyes boring into his own closed eyes, but if he squeezed his eyes tight enough, a funny sort of pressure built behind his eyes and in his head and he could stop thinking about Greg too much.

Nick drew the glass away from his forehead and drank the water quickly, before putting the glass down on the sink with a little more force than necessary. He swiped a hand across his face and wiped away sweat and condensed water from his forehead. He slid down the counter until he felt the cool kitchen tiles under his fingers. When Greg turned in his chair to face Nick, the older man titled his head back to stare into Greg's eyes. He curled his fingers into fists and felt his pulse in his palm. He counted away fifteen heartbeats like seconds, and still Greg didn't say a word, even though he looked like he wanted to.

"Maybe it's good that we slept with other people," said Nick eventually, when he was sure Greg wasn't going to speak his mind. "I mean...you were the first man I ever kissed, let alone fucked, and you said you hadn't got past third base with a guy before me. Maybe we both needed to experiment with other guys. Maybe this was the only way for us to realize we were really only meant for each other."

"Those are a hell of a lot of maybes, Nick," said Greg with a wry smile. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his thighs, his hands clasped together. "You make it sound like the only problems we had were in the bedroom."

Nick shrugged. "Love starts with lust, and lust springs from attraction."

"Yeah, well, I think last night proved that we don't have any trouble in the sex department. And I'm pretty sure we're past the attraction and lust stages."

"Well, then Greg, if we've already wooed and been charmed, and if we've already had sex, and if we've already exchanged I-Love-Yous then what's left, except the happily ever after?" When Greg looked pointedly away from him, Nick sighed in frustration. "I don't see what the problem is, G"

"Well, just cause you can't see it, doesn't mean it's not there," he retorted.

Nick sighed, and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I don't want to quit you, Greg..."

Greg scowled and looked away, but a flush rose on his cheeks nonetheless. Nick was playing dirty. Brokeback Mountain had always been their movie, and it wasn't right of Nick to bring it up now, thought Greg. But now, how could he stop the memories from flowing out of his head like lyrics from an ancient song that he somehow still remembered?

It was the day before Greg's first night back at work after the lab explosion. Hours before shift, he had sat on his bed, drowning in questions: what should he wear? What time should he come into work? Should he take his meds now, or after shift? What would everyone say? How would he deal with being in that lab again?

It was overwhelming and more than a little scary. Without thinking Greg had called Nick, and he had shown up outside Greg's apartment within minutes. Half an hour later, Nick had picked out clothes for Greg, gotten him to take his meds and talked out pretty much every ounce of nervousness from him. His hands finally stopped shaking.

With still a couple of hours to go before shift, Nick and Greg had settled down on the couch to watch some television. Daytime TV sucked, as usual, but for once Greg was thankful of the fact, because it meant that the only thing think to watch was Brokeback Mountain, and maybe it was the gratitude Greg felt towards Nick in that moment, or maybe it was the dopey effect of his meds, or maybe it was just the two very good looking men fucking on television, but suddenly Greg's mouth was on Nick's and Nick nails were digging into his skin, and desperation squirmed in the air between them.

They had spent the next few hours making out on Greg couch, and were late for work. Even halfway through his shift, Greg still felt a little weak in the knees and he pretended it was because of the lab explosion. Grissom gave him a couple more days off, and Nick called in sick. They spent the next two days lying in Greg's bed kissing and touching and staying one step away from sex.

And since then, once a year on their anniversary they would lay in bed together and watched Brokeback Mountain until each others' warmth and comfort invited sleep.

"Well, if you can't change it, you gotta stand it," retorted Greg, echoing Nick's Brokeback Mountain reference.

Nick clenched his jaw and sighed. "Don't you think we've been standin' it for long enough?"

Greg smiled sadly and nodded. What Nick said was true. After four years of handling everything together, whether it was lab explosions, or kidnappings, or beatings, it was hell trying to make it on their own. When Warrick died, all Nick wanted to do was fuck Greg until he could forget, and when Nick was shot, it took all of Greg's willpower to keep himself from smothering Nick with kisses. His hands had been shaking so bad that he didn't dare take them out of his pockets. And then having to watch Nick struggle through the aftermath of the shooting had made Greg feel sickened, and not being able to help him made it all the worse.

It was things like that which made him think that maybe they were better off together. There was the pain of fighting, and hurtful words and actions, but there was also warmth when they needed comfort, sex when they needed a release and laughter when they needed hope. And what did he have now?

Greg's psychiatrist's favourite question was 'If you died today, would you be satisfied with your life?' Honestly, Greg used to think it was a pretty shit question, but maybe he needed to stop avoiding the inevitable. He and Nick had cheated death enough times, and maybe it was time to accept that he really could die at any time. And the truth was, he wouldn't be satisfied with his life. After all, what did he have? A job he was beginning to hate? An ex-boyfriend he was still in love with? A thousand lost opportunities? And what for? So that he could be blown through a window, and almost beaten to death? So that he could be shot at because of his own girlfriend? So that he could be lied to and used? So that he could pretend he wasn't madly in love with the man sitting in front of him? So that he could live a lie? So that he could exist in the lie, because whatever this was, it wasn't living.

Nick waited for Greg's response, and when it didn't come, he finally gave up. "Maybe you should go," Nick said with a tired sigh. He stood and made his way into the living room, hoping to escape Greg's penetrating gaze. He wasn't going to cry in front of Greg.

Greg sat in the kitchen for a moment after Nick had left the room. After the initial shock of Nick's words wore off, he rushed to his feet, and practically bounded out of the kitchen. "Nick, wait!" he almost shouted. Nick halted in the doorway to his bedroom. "Just..." Greg faltered. "Come and sit down for a minute."

Nick complied, and made his way to the couch. He sat down and looked up at Greg expectantly. Greg chewed at his bottom lip and then sat down on the edge of the coffee table in front of the couch. "Nick, when I'm not with you, I'm not me," Greg said slowly. He bit his lip and tried to make more sense. "What I mean is, I feel wrong when we're not together. Like I'm some whole other person. When we were together, everything hurt ten times more...but after we broke up, I stopped feeling anything. Everything seemed dulled. Cases stopped getting to me, and it started becoming hard to even care," Greg rested his elbows on his knees and held his face in his hands. "I was so... apathetic that I didn't even cry after Warrick died. I didn't shed a single tear."

Greg looked up at Nick and smiled sadly. "I guess, I just want to be able to feel again. And I know that that's a pretty selfish reason to want to be with you but..." Greg stared at Nick with a dark lust in his eyes. "But I want to feel you again."

Nick licked his dry lips, and swallowed back his emotions. "Greg, I... I don't think I understand," muttered Nick. He leaned forwards and held Greg's hands in his, squeezing the warm, slender hands between his. "Honestly," he said with a nervous laugh, 'This all seems a little surreal. Are you... are you trying to say that you want to get back together?"

"I'm trying to say that," Greg paused, trying to voice his thoughts properly. He looked at his hands curled up in Nick's, and suddenly felt so safe and warm that a lump rose in his throat. He blinked back tears. "I'm saying that I'm sick of feeling like this. I'm saying that I hate who I've become without you. I'm saying that I need you, and-and I want to do more than just get back together. I want to...I-I don't know what I want."

Greg stood and raked his hands through his hair. Then he looked at Nick, really looked at him, and the frustration and tension seemed to melt away. "I want to do this," he said simply.

Nick watched as Greg padded up to him and straddled his legs with the gracefulness of a cat. Nick bit back a groan as he felt Greg's weight settle in his lap. He slid his hands under Greg's shirt and gripped the warm, dry skin on his waist. Greg eyes never left Nick's, as he moved closer and closer until his lips were inches from Nick's. "God, I've missed this," he murmured huskily. His eyes fluttered shut and his lips met Nick's slowly, as though they had all the time in the world. Nick moaned and bucked upwards, wanting to feel Greg on every inch of his skin. But Greg pushed him down again, and hummed in displeasure. He wanted this to last.

Greg broke away from the Nick and left Nick begging for more. A smug smile played across Greg's lips, and then he was pulling his sweatshirt off. He tugged of Nick's shirt too, but slowly and easily, not with the desperation that he had last night. This wasn't about lust, it was about exploring familiar territory. It was about being home again.

Greg trailed a hand lightly down Nick's chest and followed it with his eyes. His lips were parted slightly, and red from their kiss, and it made Nick's arousal painfully obvious. Greg looked into Nick's eyes and saw his need echoed in them. He closed his eyes, and all but lunged at Nick, hugging him with all his might. Nick's arms circled around his back and squeezed. The skin to skin contact made him shudder, and he didn't want to ever let go.

"Jesus, Greg," Nick murmured thickly, burying his head in Greg's soft hair and breathing in his scent. Suddenly needing more contact, he lifted his hips and pulled off his pants and boxers, and then tugged off Greg's as well. Greg laughed quietly, as Nick lowered them onto the couch and they lay curled up together. Greg rested his forehead against Nick's warm chest and closed his eyes. He smoothed his palm over Nick's heart and felt it beating calmly against his hand. For once, there was no mad rush for condoms and lubricant. Unlike the night before, it was contact they needed, not sex.

Nick rested his chin on the top of Greg's head and wrapped his arms around him, pressing him flush against his body. He pressed his palm against Greg's back, caressing the rough, scarred skin. He closed his eyes and just held Greg close. A faint smile shadowed across his face when he realized that they would do this every night from now on.

"Greg," Nick said eventually. "Tomorrow at work, we're going to tell everyone about us." Greg's head shot up and he cast Nick a disbelieving look. "Well, not everyone... just our friends. The people we know aren't going to get us fired," he said with a nervous laugh. The truth was he was shit scared about how people we going to react. But he would push his fear aside, because he had to show Greg that he wasn't ashamed of him.

"Nick..." Greg didn't know how to express his gratitude. "I...God, I'm such a bastard. I've been so insensitive about your parents, just because my parents are so supportive. I'm surprised you didn't walk out on me! How can I-"

"Shh," Nick placed his finger on Greg's lips to silence him. "I don't care about what happened then. We both made some stupid mistakes before. I'm just glad that you understand now. I'm glad that we're not going to let little things get in the way of our love for each other."

Greg smiled. "I love you."

"I know," replied Nick with a warm smile. "You always say so... even when you don't mean to."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Greg said with a playful pout.

"It means," Nick said slowly, tapping Greg's nose gently. "That I knew, after last night's sex, that you were more in love with me than you thought."

Greg scowled, but after a moment he smiled flirtatiously. "So what gave me away, huh?" he said seductively, his hand stroking Nick's dick. "When I came screaming your name, or because I came into your mouth."

"Speaking of blow jobs," Nick said breathlessly, feeling his erection grow. "Oh God...Greg...Do you think you could...?" he broke off into a strangled moan.

"I thought you'd never ask," said Greg huskily as he lowered himself so that his head was near Nick's cock. He took the head into his mouth and sucked in a way that only he could. He laughed into Nick's erection when Nick's hands fisted and pulled at his hair. Nick moaned, and rocked forward into Greg's mouth. He was this close to coming...

They both jumped when Nick's cellphone rang, but Greg didn't stop. Nick stretched out his hand and fumbled for his phone on the coffee table. He checked the caller ID. "Greg..." he words were swallowed up in another moan as Greg continued to rock his world. "Greg, it's Catherine...You have to...You have to stop," he choked out. "Greg!"

"Just pick up the phone, Nick," said Greg as he finally pulled away. He licked Nick's cock from tip to base. "But don't me stop. I'm on a roll here."

"Greg," Nick growled, as the phone continued to ring. "Get the fuck off me."

Greg laughed lightly and finally pulled away, letting his forehead rest on Nick's stomach. Nick breathed a sigh of relief and answered the phone. "Stokes," he said breathlessly.

"Hey Nicky," came Catherine's voice on the other line. "Listen I know it's your day off, but I might need you to come in," she said apologetically.

Nick was about to reply, when he felt Greg's mouth slink across his dick again. Oh fuck, he thought, as he fought the urge to moan out loud. He shot Greg an alarmed look, but Greg just smile cheekily.

"Nick?" Catherine asked doubtfully when he didn't respond.

"Uh.. yeah," Nick breathed, trying hard to glare at Greg, although that was pretty difficult. "Yeah t-that's fine...Oh God..." he moaned loudly, and Catherine stifled a laugh.

"You alright there, Nicky?" she asked, her voice a mix of sarcasm and amusement.

"Yeah...I'm fi—Oh fuck..." He burned in embarrassment and yet, he couldn't control himself. If anything, the whole situation was turning him on in a twisted sort of way.

"Look," said Catherine, trying to be diplomatic but failing miserably. "I take it you're in a...compromising position, so I'll, uh, call Sara. You take your time."

Nick groaned. Fuck you, Greg, he thought, and then regretted it as the thought only aroused him more. "Thanks Cath, I'll uh...oh fuck, Greg..." he bucked forwards into Greg and felt himself losing control. A second later he came into Greg's mouth, and moaned again when Greg swallowed it all.

"Greg?" Catherine all but shrieked. "Did you just say Greg?"

"Oh shit..." said Nick, his words drowned out into Greg's mouth as he kissed Nick, so that Nick could taste his own cum in Greg's mouth. He scowled at Greg when he finally met his eyes, but the smug and excited look on Greg's face made him grin. Greg collapsed on top of him and began kissing a trail down his chest. Nick suddenly laughed loudly into the phone, and his embarrassment disappeared. "Yeah," he said with a breathless grin. "Greg fucking Sanders just gave me a blow job! Can you believe it?"

Catherine laughed serenely. "No, actually! I mean, Greg always tickled my gaydar, but you!" she laughed again. "Well, you boys definitely fueled my fantasies for a while!" Nick couldn't stop laughing, despite that it was slightly disturbing that Catherine had fantasies about Greg and him getting it on.. He was just so ecstatically happy; happy that Greg and him were back together, and that Catherine had taken it so well.

"Well," continued Catherine. "How about I let you two get back to business. And," she laughed again. "Why don't you just take the night off? Have fun boys!"

Nick hung up and let the phone slide to the floor. Greg lifted his head off Nick's chest. "Sorry," he said cheekily, obviously not at all apologetic.

"You little shit!" exclaimed Nick, with a grin plastered on his face. He pushed Greg off his chest and tickled him mercilessly. Greg cowered into a corner and kicked out at Nick, who held him down efficiently. "Please, Nick...please," he begged breathlessly between laughs. Eventually Nick stopped and covered Greg's mouth with his own. Then, as a half-hearted punishment for what Greg had done, Nick all but sat on top of him, squishing him into the corner of the couch. "Can't... breathe..." exaggerated Greg, pretending to wheeze melodramatically. Nick got off Greg, and moved to the other end of the couch.

"What now?" Greg hummed contentedly, moving a little closer to Nick.

"Now," murmured Nick sleepily, as he moved closer still. "Now I ask you to move in with me."

Greg smiled serenely, and shuffled closer, so that they were inches apart. "And now I say, I thought you would never ask."

"And now I kiss you," said Nick, closing the distance between them Greg pressed his forehead against Nick's, and they lay down again, their bodies curled up together contentedly. Nick's eyes slid closed, but he could feel Greg's gaze on him.

"I hate this," said Nick suddenly, opening his eyes to meet Greg's. "You're wide awake, and I'm about ready to pass out. Go get me a condom and some lube so that I can make you come and we can both get some sleep."

Greg laughed, shaking his head slowly. "Nah. I'm still sore from last night, and plus, I don't want to have to clean up the couch later." Nick scowled, and his eyes slid shut of their own accord. "You get some sleep," continued Greg gently, placing a kiss to Nick's forehead and sliding off the couch. "I've got some work to do anyway."

Nick pried open one eye and watched Greg get into his boxers, and toss his other clothes into a corner. "Yeah? And what work would that be?"

Greg grinned sheepishly, giving himself away. "I was not calling Sara!" he exclaimed, but under Nick's incredulous gaze, he gave in. "Okay, fine. But she'd want to know what's going on." Nick just shook his head with a knowing smile, and closed his eyes, sleep a second away.

Greg grabbed his phone from the side table and was about to sneak out the room, when he suddenly had the urge to turn around. He smiled and felt his heart constrict almost painfully when he saw Nick stretched out on the couch, his mouth ajar, and the light from the window turning the soft, whispery hair on his arms and chest a reddish-blond. He couldn't help himself; he put the phone down and make his way to the armchair, his armchair, and leaned back in it, watching Nick with quiet, relieved eyes. He smiled and watched Nick breathing until his own eyes slid close and he welcomed sleep for the first time in four years. Because this time, he wasn't going to wake up alone.

Brick by brick we can built it from the floor
If we hold on to each other we'll be better than before
And brick by brick we'll get back to yesterday
When I made your body shiver and when you took my breath away

Title's a lyrics from Matchbox Twenty's The Difference. Also, did anyone notice that ALL the post-eps for Kiss Before Frying are The Love fics?