Title: The Problem with Secrets
Author: Escargoat
Rating: FRT (PG-13 for those still using that system)
Pairing: Gil/Nick
Summary: Nick and Grissom are involved, and Nick isn't happy that Gil wants to keep it a secret.
Author's Note/Warnings: Season 8. Set after “You Kill Me.” “Cockroaches” never happened. This can be read as a stand-alone piece. If you want to, you can also read it as being in the same universe as my first two stories “Guilt” and “Resolution” as it fits the same timeline.
Disclaimer: CSI belongs to CBS and all those fine people that created it. I'm obviously not making any money off of this, nor would I want to.

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Gil shifted uncomfortably in his chair. It wasn't fair really. He didn't want to be doing this in the first place. He had told Nick as much. The problem was that Nick had hidden depths to him that Gil had never imagined. Namely that he could turn into a frigid iceberg on command. 
 
It wasn't fair. Nick was fifteen years younger. If anybody had to cave in due to lack of nookie, it should have been Mr. Express-Your-Feelings. Of course, laughing at Nick when the younger man had announced his intentions of cutting off all carnal acts probably had not been a wise idea.  
 
It had started out simply enough. They had been seeing each other for a while. Things had been progressing nicely. Nick's more open personality had meshed with Gil's reticent one. Things were beginning to get serious, they both agreed on that. Where they differed was on what to do about it. 
 
Nick wanted to tell the world.  
 
Gil wanted to buy a nice duplex so they could live together without anybody realizing they were “living” together. 
 
Gil could still hear the argument ringing in his ears: 
 
“I don't like hiding who I am, Gil!” Nick shouted. 
 
“You had no problem hiding a few weeks ago!” 
 
“Well that was a few weeks ago. Things have changed,” Nick tried to calm his voice down to a more reasonable level. 
 
Gil then made his bad move of the fight. He had chosen to take the first jab that flew to his mind, “Really? What changed exactly? You decided you liked taking up the ass? Or did you just decide that I wasn't a complete eyesore to have hanging off your arm for a date.”  
 
It was not a very prudent comment to make and pretty much guaranteed that Gil was getting nowhere near said ass for very long time. 
 
What it had been meant to do was point out Nick's own reticence about his sexuality. It had been meant as a setup to have Nick give a comeback about Gil's desire to remain in the closet. That point Gil would have easily rebuffed by pointing out that he was a very private man and that he had hidden his relationship with Sara.  
 
Nick glared at Gil with hurt and wounded eyes instead of making a nasty comeback. Gil felt like shit. 
 
“You asshole,” Nick finally spit out. 
 
“Nicky…” 
 
“NO! Don't you dare 'Nicky' me. We're in a relationship here, and I get a say in it. I'm not Sara. I don't want to lie to the whole world, and I sure as hell am not giving up my career for you just because you like to be private. You know full well that the only reason that you and Sara got off so easy was because of what happened to her, and I've already been abducted and left for dead where nobody could find me.” 
 
“I'm not saying that you don't have a say, Nick,” Gil softened his tone and put as much remorse as possible into it. 
 
“Look, just, quit talking okay. I'm just, I'm just too mad at you right now. I'm going home.” Nick summarily grabbed his keys and stalked out the door. 
 
Gil spent the rest of the day moping on the couch waiting for Nick to comeback and retrieve the jacket he had left behind. He didn't. In fact, Nick did not return for five days. That left Gil with only Hank for company, and after the second day the dog refused to let Gil pet him. Apparently Hank blamed Gil for Nick not being there, or maybe it was just Gil projecting perceptions onto the dog. He didn't know and quite frankly, he didn't care. 
 
By the time day six rolled around, Gil had convinced himself that returning the jacket was a perfect excuse to go over to Nick's house. Never mind the fact that Nick had several other jackets. Never mind the fact that Gil had seen Nick wearing those other jackets to work, and that the one he was returning wasn't even one of Nick's favorites. 
 
A crisp, “What do you want?” was all the greeting Gil got when he rang the doorbell. 
 
“I came to return your jacket. I thought you might like to use it.” 
 
Nick had crossed his arms in defiance and snorted. 
 
“You know I'm no good at this,” Gil would have winced at the whine his voice took on except for the fact that he was hoping that it would gain him sympathy. 
 
“Maybe you ought to try a little harder. It always seemed to work for you where your job is concerned,” was Nick's stony reply. 
 
“You aren't my job, Nick, you're… You're special to me, and I don't want to lose you.” 
 
Nick's expression melted slightly at that, and it gained Gil entrance through the door. 
 
“I was thinking today,” Gil paused as he tried to figure out exactly what he was going to say. 
 
“You ever have a day when you don't think?” was Nick's acerbic response. 
 
“Yes, I believe you walked out on me because of it.” 
 
Nick's stare softened, and Gil congratulated himself on saying the right thing. 
 
“You said you were thinking?” Nick prompted. 
 
“The success of a relationship is often based in compromise. We have differing viewpoints on what should be happening. I believe that we can find a mutually satisfying agreement.” 
 
“That your way of saying, 'I'm sorry I was an ass. You're right?'” 
 
“Yes.” 
 
“I shouldn't forgive you.” 
 
“I know.” 
 
“Why do I want to?” 
 
“Because you're a better man than I am.” 
 
Nick snorted, “You mean I'm more of a desperate girly man.” 
 
“No. Nobody thinks that you're a 'girly man.' Just because you like to bottom, it doesn't mean that I think you're weak. I was protective of my privacy. I lashed out at you unfairly. I'm sorry for that. I'm not good at sharing, and I'm not good at sharing you. I don't want us to get complicated by them.” 
 
“Gil, sometimes complicated is good. Why can't you see that? You like complicated in almost everything else that you do.” 
 
“I know. I also know how important this is to you. I want to try to fix this.” 
 
They had talked for a while after that. Eventually Gil talked Nick down from telling the whole world to telling Ecklie and maybe Nick's parents. Gil had been very proud of himself for how good of a settlement he had gotten for himself. He felt good right up until Nick pushed him away when he leaned in for a quick kiss. 
 
“I think I've given you enough for one night.” 
 
“Nicky, I don't understand,” Gil had been truly surprised. 
 
“I'm not stupid. I know who is getting the better end of the bargain here. The only person you have to tell is Ecklie. I'm gonna have to tell my folks because you sure can't tell them for me. I can't tell Warrick or Greg or Catherine. And knowing you, you'll forget to tell Ecklie. So no nookie until you tell him.” 
 
Gil had smiled at that. “I'm not going to forget to tell him,” he had assured as his hand began to creep around Nick's waist. 
 
“Then you don't have to worry about it for much longer,” Nick had rejoined as he grabbed Gil's questing hand and returned it to its owner. 
 
Gil had chuckled. “Nick…” 
 
“I mean it. You go on home now and get some rest.” 
 
Nick had not gone so far as to physically push Gil out, but he had quickly ushered the older man. The door had slammed shut before Gil got the chance to try for a goodnight kiss. 
 
Problem was that Nick was right. Gil forgot the first night. It was just too busy. The second night the whole shift worked a double. It just kept going. Truthfully, Gil hadn't noticed that so many days had passed. He'd gotten engrossed in a couple of detailed cases, and Nick was no longer mad at him, so the constant tension wasn't there. Well, it wasn't there until the end of a shift when Gil would belatedly realize that he'd forgotten to tell Ecklie again.  
 
Nick was steadfast on his word. No nookie meant no nookie. Gil thought he'd gotten more casual touches from Brass lately.  
 
It had all come to a head at the end of the shift yesterday. Nick had been leaning oh so casually up against the wall talking to one of the new female detectives. She was a strawberry blonde with a dancer's body and a beautiful smile. She also had very seductive body language when she flirted.  
 
Nick had rewarded her efforts with a smile. Oh, it hadn't been one of his charming ones. In fact, it barely differed from the more polite ones that he would give just about anyone. But he had looked right at Gil when he smiled. He had wanted to let Gil know that he was flirting with the younger woman. 
 
Nick wasn't the cheating type, and Gil did not get jealous. After all, that hadn't been Nick's point. The point was that Gil wasn't getting that smile or any of its better cousins. And he wasn't getting any because he hadn't talked to Ecklie. 
 
It was at that point that Gil's hormones had circumvented his Ecklie loathing brain to create a very simple equation. Not talking to Ecklie was causing Gil not to get any; ergo talking to Ecklie would get Gil some.  
 
He had gone straight to his office to make an appointment. 
 
That, of course, brought him to Conrad Ecklie's office waiting for his 'superior' to get off the phone. 
 
“Gil, what can I do for you?” Conrad finally asked. 
 
“Well, I have a problem.” 
 
“Really?”  
 
“You know that I've been spending more time with Nick.” 
 
“Yes. I'm surprised. I've heard rumors that you've been quite sociable lately. Mr. Stokes must be a good influence on you.” 
 
Gil shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “I believe that my more personal relationship with Nick might become a liability to his career.” 
 
Ecklie looked confused at that. “I'm not the devil, Gil. I'm hardly going to take it out on the poor guy because he's friends with you.” 
 
“That isn't what I meant. I meant that I might be losing my, ah, objectivity towards him as a result of our more intimate relationship. And Catherine hasn't been able to practice her supervisory skills as much since she was moved back to night shift. I think that it might benefit them both if Catherine were to handle some aspects of managing him.” 
 
“You think that you can't supervise Nick because he's your friend,” Ecklie stated slowly. 
 
“Yes,” Gil opted for the quick answer. 
 
“Your intimate friend,” Ecklie stated even more slowly. 
 
Gil kept his face neutral.  
 
“Does Nick know about this?”  
 
Gil frowned, “Of course Nick knows I'm talking to you.” 
 
“No, I mean does Nick know that he's your intimate friend, or is this like Sara, and I have several years to go before you start having sex with him.”  
 
“What?” 
 
“Gil, your definition of relationship differs a great deal from the majority of the Western world.” 
 
“I, we, he's fully aware of my romantic intentions towards him and is an active recipient of them.” 
 
“Good God Grissom! Do you have to keep fishing from the company pier?” 
 
Gil shrugged. “If it helps, I don't think either of us intended for this to happen.” 
 
“Oh, I know that Stokes didn't intend for this to happen. It's you I'm not so sure about. Do you have any idea what kind of position this puts me in? One employee is funny. Two is suspicious. On the other hand, I can't react too harshly because it'll make it look like the department is homophobic. Yet, if I give only Nick to Catherine, it's like an insult to her leadership capabilities.” 
 
“I'm not using my position to seduce my employees, and believe me putting you in a difficult position was hardly my goal.” 
 
Ecklie ignored him. “Wait, who else knows about this?” 
 
“Nobody, except, I think Nick might have told his parents.” 
 
“Good! Keep it that way. We'll have Catherine start doing Nick, Warrick and Greg's performance reviews. You'll give her some of that paperwork that you always forget to fill out. We'll make it look like an advancement for Catherine, no thought of Nick's sexual preference involved.” 
 
“Didn't you just make that decision based on it?” 
 
“Gil, you've slept with two of your direct reports. You don't really have room to take the moral high ground right now. Not, mind you, that Nick isn't a vast improvement from Sara.” 
 
“What?” 
 
“Sara was a loose canon.” 
 
“Are you still bitter about that fight you had with her a couple years ago?” 
 
“Leopards don't change their spots. Look, Gil, thank you for telling me. Now get out of my office.” 
 
Dazedly, Gil pushed himself out of the chair and wandered into the hallway. He felt slightly guilty about how Ecklie was using his relationship with Nick. It was a solution, and it wasn't necessarily going to hurt anybody, but still, it wasn't fair to Catherine. Maybe Nick was right, maybe they should've told everybody. That way there wouldn't be any second guessing when the truth came out. 
 
Still the damage was done. Ecklie had ordered him to keep his mouth shut for the time being, and as was pointed out, Gil really didn't have much room to bargain with at the moment. 
 
Gil pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. Suddenly he didn't really feel like getting laid.