Title: Worth Waiting For
By: Fran Holland
Pairing: Nick/Gil and Gil/Gibbs (NCIS)
Rating: NC-17

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I first met Gil Grissom in 2001, when I was forced to go to a seminar in Chicago.  We met in the hotel bar and wound up catching a Cubs game that same night.  After the game, we had a few more drinks and we wound up in bed together.  To this day, I cannot tell you who made the first move.  Over the years, we’ve become friends as was as lovers, for lack of a better word.   We’ve tried to get together at least twice a year, mostly at conferences and seminars, sometimes just a three day weekend, but we talk about once every two or three weeks. 

I knew about his relationship with Sara, her leaving and the subsequent marriage.  Quite frankly, I was shocked when he left the Vegas crime lab to go find Sara and marry her.  I never thought he loved her, she was more of a colleague that he had a lot in common with. 

Over the years, I came to realize that the person he really loved was a guy named Nick Stokes.  It never failed that Stokes’ name would come up in just about every conversation we had.  I knew how deep his feelings were when Stokes got kidnapped a few years back.  I called to ask Gil a question and he was not himself.  When I pressed, he broke down and cried.  Later on, I watched the news and monitored the events leading up to Stokes’ rescue by none other than Gil Grissom.  Hell, at one time, I even had McGhee getting satellite feeds for me. 

A month later, we met in Kansas City for a three day weekend because I wanted some good ribs.  The sex was intense that whole weekend.  Gil wanted it rough and I gave him what he wanted.  I truly think he was trying to exorcise his love for Stokes.  Apparently, the guy is a white bread, Texan heterosexual.

Three weeks ago, Gil called.  I really expected our relationship would be over now that he was married, so I was surprised when Gil asked if I was coming to a seminar in Atlanta.  I had not been planning on it, but I wasn’t one to turn down a weekend of hot sex, especially with no strings attached.  You can imagine the director’s surprise when I, of all people, asked to go to a lecture series on DNA Extraction in Rape/Sexual Molestation Cases.  He signed off on it, only because he knew I needed some continuing education classes to make the unit look good.  When the unit looks good, he looks good.

So, here I was in the hotel bar, waiting on Gil.  I had requested a room adjoining his, with the excuse that I was working on a paper with him.  Hotel reservations clerks don’t check things like that, so I only had a door separating me from all the sex I wanted.  I checked in about an hour ago and had been nursing a scotch since then.  That is another thing Gil and I have in common.  We both love scotch, in fact, I had a bottle in my room for later. 

I saw Gil before he saw me, so I could observe him to see if married life was treating him well.  Apparently not.  He had bags under his eyes and looked so tired.  He’d lost weight too.  He gave me a small smile when he finally spotted me.  I held my glass up in a mock toast.

“Long time, no see.”  I said with a small smile of my own.

“It’s good to see you, Jethro.”  Gil held out his hand and I gripped it firmly. 

“Hungry?”  I said, indicating the restaurant across the lobby.

“Not for food.”  Gil muttered and I laughed.  Standing, I tossed a ten on the table and followed him out of the bar.  Because of what we both have observed over the years, we did not touch or even acknowledge each other in the elevator.  Cameras are everywhere these days.  I stopped on the third floor and got off, Gil rode up to the fourth floor where our rooms were and by the time I had walked up the flight of steps, he was already in his room.  I let myself into mine and opened the latch on my side of the door leading to Gil’s adjoining room. 

He came at me so fast that I didn’t know what hit me until I was on my back in the middle of my bed, with his hand rubbing my crotch.  His kiss was hard and bruising, so I responded in kind.  It did not take long before we were both naked and thrusting our hard cocks at each other.  Taking the lead, I turned my body so my mouth was poised over his erection and mine was seeking his mouth.  When I felt his hot mouth on me, I wrapped my lips around the head of his cock and swirled my tongue around it several times.  He groaned and began to push his hips up.  I took him all in and felt his throat open to take me in deep.  It felt so good. 

I only released him enough to slick up my finger with spit and went back to work on him.  When I rubbed my wet finger against his puckered hole, he grunted and pushed out.  Roughly, I pushed it inside of him and I could feel his hands gripping my ass tightly and pulling me down onto his face.  In and out, my finger fucked his ass, while my hips pistoned up and down on his face, pushing my cock deep in his throat.  God, it felt so fucking good, I was going to come.  My finger found what it was seeking and I pushed against it.  Gil bucked beneath me and his hot cum hit the back of my throat.  I gave a grunt and my own semen shot into Gil’s mouth.

I rolled off and just laid there panting.  I could hear Gil’s raspy breaths and ran my hand up and down his thigh.

“I didn’t think a newlywed would be this horny.”

Gil gave a bitter laugh and rolled off the bed.  He strode over to the window and looked out into the darkness.  I sat up and watched him for a few seconds.

“I’m going to assume that married life wasn’t what you thought it would be.”

He turned and walked back to the bed.  He grabbed one of the pillows and leaned it against the headboard before lying back down.  He gave me a sad smile.

“I don’t love her, at least not like that.  Now, I’m stuck.  I can’t hurt her.”

“The only thing worse than divorce is a bad marriage.”  I said sagely.  One of my old drill sergeants had told me that and it made a whole lot of sense to me.

“It’s not really a bad marriage.  I just don’t want her physically.  I can only fake it so much.  I’ve gotten good at the “I’m old and don’t have those needs anymore” speeches.”  He gave a snort of laughter.  “She recommended I try Viagra.”

I couldn’t help it, I burst into laughter.  The man that had just pumped a load of cum down my throat certainly did not need the little blue pill. 

Shaking my head and still chuckling, I got up and poured us both a scotch.  We clicked glasses and tossed it back.  After finishing the bottle, we were both laughing about the string of commercials on television about male enhancements.  Gil did a great imitation of ‘smiling Bob’.

We woke with the sun streaming in the window and both of us checked the clock on the nightstand at the same time.  Sighing with relief, we both let our heads drop back down on the pillows. 

“When is your first lecture?”  I mumbled and realized my mouth felt like it was full of cotton.

“Not until nine.”  Gil’s reply was muffled by his pillow.

I closed my eyes against the glaring sunlight.  Feeling Gil moving on the bed, I opened one eye.  He was sitting up with his feet on the floor.  I reached out and rubbed my hand up and down his strong back. 

“Let’s fuck.”

He turned and let his gaze wonder over the sheets still covering my groin.  My morning erection was visible. 

Gil stood and moved over to my duffle that was lying open on the dresser.  He opened the side zippered pocket, the one where I always kept the supplies, and pulled out the bottle of lubricant and the box of condoms.  He tossed me the lube, while he opened the box. 

“Twelve?  I guess you were expecting to get lucky.”  Gil gave me a comical leer.

“We may have to get some Viagra to use all twelve.”  I said dryly and he burst out laughing.        

Gil and I have never discussed who was a top or bottom.  We both just went with it.  Today, I felt his need to be in control.  I understand what it’s like to be stuck in a loveless marriage.  Unfortunately, he is the one that must make the decisions, I can’t help him with his marriage.

Snapping open the top on the lubricant, I squirted some out into my palm.  Gil held out the condom and I shook my head.  His eyes dropped from mine and focused on my hand while I spread my legs and worked the lube around and in my hole.  I glanced down at his erection and smiled.

“Don’t just stand there.  Come fuck me.”

Gil ripped open the condom and slipped it on his cock without taking his eyes from my finger sliding in and out of my ass.   He crawled onto the bed and knelt between my legs.  I lifted my hips and wrapped my thighs around his waist, pulling him to me. 

He gripped his cock and pushed the head inside me.  There was an instant of pain and I grunted.  He stopped and met my eyes.

“Just fuck me, Gil.”  I said through clinched teeth. 

He pushed again and his cock slid all the way in.  His hands gripped my thighs and he pulled out a few inches, only to push back in slowly. 

“Feels so good,” he murmured.  He continued to slowly move in and out of me.  It felt great, but I wanted more and I knew he needed more.  My hand moved to wrap around my cock and I began to pump it.

“Harder, Gil.  Harder.”

All this time, Gil had been watching his cock moving in and out, but with my words, he met my eyes again.

Without a word, he thrust into me, faster and faster.  Both of us were grunting and moaning in pleasure.  It felt amazing.  My hand was pumping my cock and I felt my balls began to draw up as my orgasm approached.

“Yeah, yeah.  You’re gonna make me come.”  I ejaculated seconds later and Gil watched as the streams of cum splashed onto my stomach and chest.  I felt lightheaded, but managed to squeeze my ass around Gil’s cock.

He slammed into me again and cried out.  He continued to fuck me and I knew he was milking out every drop of cum. 

After he had pulled out, he flopped down next to me on his back.  I removed the condom from his deflating cock and got up to flush it.  My knees were weak and I wanted coffee.  No, I needed coffee. 

“I’m getting in the shower, it’s eight-fifteen.”

Gil sat up.  “Right.  I’ll see you in a few.” 

As I was turning on the shower, I heard the door separating our rooms shut.  It only took me a few minutes to do my morning ritual and dress.  Knocking once, I opened the door and grinned.  I had caught Gil bending over and pulling on his boxers. 

“Nice view.”

“If you’re good, you can have it later.”  Gil said with a laugh.  I sat back on his bed and grabbed the remote.  Gil finished dressing while I watched the morning news.

Fifteen minutes later, coffee in hand, I found a seat in the second row of tables while Gil found his at the lecturers’ table up front.  I thought he looked sexy as hell with his reading glasses sliding down on his nose as he observed the milling crowd. 

I was just about to open my handbook and see just how boring this seminar was going to be, when I saw Gil’s face register, what appeared to be, shock and his face visibly paled.  I tried to follow his gaze, but there were just too many people trying to find seats. 

“Excuse me, may I sit here?”  Looking up into the most beautiful, brown eyes I’ve ever seen, I just nodded dumbly.

“Nick Stokes, Las Vegas Crime Lab.”  He held out his hand.  I shook it and returned his warm smile, managing to act as if I didn’t know him from Adam’s housecat.

“Jethro Gibbs, NCIS, Virginia.”  So, this was the famous Nick Stokes.  I glanced quickly up at Gil and was met with a stony face.  Well, he obviously wasn’t happy that Stokes and I were sitting together.  Surely, he could not be jealous. 

Nick followed my gaze and grinned.  He waved at Gil.  “I used to work with Gil Grissom.  He’s amazing.  I hope we can have dinner or something tonight and catch up.” 

I had observed Gil’s slight wave back and wondered what the odds were of Stokes picking this seat out of all the others. 

“I’m sure he’ll find time for an old friend.” 

“I hope so.”  Stokes’ eyes returned to Gil, who was avoiding eye contact with our table.  Turning slightly to watch Stokes, I caught the longing in his eyes.  Well, well, the feelings may be mutual. 

The first speaker took the podium and two and a half hours later, we broke for lunch.  I had barely stood up when I saw Stokes already heading towards Gil.  I eased back into my seat to watch.  Stokes had grabbed Gil’s hand, shaking in enthusiastically and slapped him on the back.  They spoke for a few moments and Gil nodded.  With a grin, Stokes walked back to the table.

“It’s a date.”  I cocked my head to one side and raised an eyebrow. 

“So, a date, huh?”  I could not resist.

Nick Stokes blushed deep red.  “I…I…didn’t mean…didn’t mean a date…like…that.  I don’t think Griss is like that.”

“Are you?” 

“NO.  No. “  Stokes shook his head violently.  He protests too much.  Besides, he didn’t meet my eyes when he said no.  I could read body language very, very well and I knew a lie when I heard one. Yes, indeed, this could get very interesting.

“Well, I’m glad you’ll get to spend some time with your old friend.”

Since Gil and I had made plans to meet at the bistro across the street from the hotel for lunch, I just walked over and got us a table.  He entered the restaurant a few minutes later.

“What did you talk about?”  Gil all but shouted at me.

“What are you talking about, Gil?”

“You and Nick, what did you talk about?”

“And what grade are you in now?”  I could not help teasing him. 

He ran his hand through his hair and sat down.  “Sorry, I just did not expect to see him here.”

“He was really excited about seeing you.”  The waitress came over and took our order and he waited until she had gone back into the kitchen before speaking again.

“He’s just a friend, nothing more.”  Gil said softly.

“Do you want it to be more?”

“It’s a mote point, Jethro.”

“If you say so.  He sure is hot though, I wouldn’t mind…”

“Knock it off.”  Gil said angrily.

“Just pushing your buttons, Gil.” 

He looked contrite and managed to smile at me.  “Sorry, Nick is just a sensitive subject with me.”

“Do you want my advice?”  I asked.

“Do I have a choice?”  He chuckled.

“No.  Not really.  My advice to you is to go for it.”  When Gil began to shake his head, I continued.  “Hear me out.  What have you got to lose?  You aren’t his supervisor anymore, hell, you don’t even work there in any capacity.”

“Did you forget that my wife works there?  With him.”

I shrugged my shoulders.  “Look, Gil.  You are unhappy.  You’ve been unhappy since you left Vegas.  I understand the reasons behind your leaving but you’ve got to do what is best for you.”

“You don’t understand why I left, Jethro.  I left because I could not see Nick day in and day out, not being able….God, I love him and I just couldn’t stay anymore.  Sara was just a good excuse to leave.”  He looked stricken.

“Oh, God.  She was an excuse.  I can’t believe I’ve done that to her.  She’s a good person.  She really loves me.”

“Maybe you should tell her the truth.” 

Gil pressed his hands over his face.  We both remained silent until the waitress brought our lunch.  I changed the subject and he was soon acting like his old self.

The afternoon lectures were actually interesting and with Stokes sitting next to me, practically drooling over Gil, it made for an amusing afternoon. 

“So, what time is your date?”  I asked while we were gathering our handbooks.

“Six.”

“Well, good luck then.”

“Thanks, man.”  Nick gave me a warm smile and waved as he left the conference area.

I left myself into my room and tossed my books onto the desk.  With Gil having plans, I was at a loose  end.  Maybe I’ll just have something from the room service menu and watch television.  A knock on the adjoining door startled me.

“Come on in.”

Gil walked through the door.  “Hey.”

“Hey.  You look nervous.”

“He’s just a friend.  I’m fine.  Really, it’s just dinner.”

“You keep telling yourself he’s just a friend and maybe we’ll both believe it someday.”

“I just called room service for another bottle of scotch.  Will you sign for it while I get a shower?”

“Sure, liquid courage, huh?”

Gil was still shaking his head when he closed his bathroom door.  I stripped out of my clothes and tossed on a pair of sleep pants and decided to watch television in Gil’s room while I waited.

I hadn’t even sat down and gotten comfortable when there was a knock on the door.  When I flung the door open the only thing I could say was, “Fuck.”

“I’m sorry, I was looking for Grissom’s room.”  Stokes made a show of looking at the brass numbers on the door.

“Uh.   Yeah, well.”

“Jethro, pour me a glass of scotch and bring it in here, I’ll even wash your back.”  Gil’s voice came clearly out of the bathroom.

“Shit.”  I muttered.

Stokes paled.  “Oh.”

Then he straightened his shoulders.  “Guess you had a good laugh over my date remark, huh?  I’m glad I could amuse you both.”  He turned and without thinking of what I was doing, I grabbed his arm.  He took a swing and grazed my chin with his fist. 

“Settle down, Stokes.”  

“Fuck you.”

“Look, I didn’t tell Gil about our conversation.”

“Yeah, right.”

“Hey, what’s going on?   Where’s my drink?”  Gil’s voice once again sounded out of the bathroom.

“You better get him his drink and let him wash your back.”  Stokes said snidely.

“Listen, you little shit.  That man in there loves you.  You.  Not me.   I’m just a substitute, always have been.  We’re friends, that’s all.”

Stokes looked at me with his mouth hanging open. 

“Oh, shit.”  I couldn’t believe what I said.  Gil was going to kill me.  But hell, what was I supposed to do? Let him leave?  Let him walk out of Gil’s life?

“I don’t believe this.”  Stokes ran his hand through his hair.

“Believe it.”

I heard the water shut off and felt a moment of panic.  “Gil’s gonna kill me.”

“Why?”  Stokes still looked shell shocked.

“Jesus, Stokes.  I just spilled his biggest secret to you.”

The bathroom door opened and Gil walked out with a towel around his waist.  “Why didn’t you bring my….Nick.   Nick, what are you doing here?  It’s not time…”

The three of us stood there mute for a short time.  Stokes and Gil were still in a state of shock, so it was up to me to ease us out of this situation that could go to hell in a hand basket fast.

“Gil wasn’t expecting you until six, so we were just having a drink.”

Nick gave me a look that could have caused some men to shrink.  “Yeah, a drink and whatever else came up?”

“Nicky…please.  You don’t understand.”   Gil pleaded.

Thinking on my feet, I tossed out, “So, you jealous, Stokes?”

“Fuck you.”  He was a hot number when he was pissed off.

“Jethro, please go.”  Gil’s agitation was very apparent.

“No, I will not go.  It seems to me that we have a situation that needs a bit of defusing.”

“There is no situation.”  Stokes turned on his heel and once again, I grabbed his arms and spun him around.  This time I was ready for the fist and blocked it.  Before Stokes knew what hit him, I had him jacked up against the wall with my arm under his throat.

“Listen to me very carefully, Stokes.  You and Gil are going to have a conversation.  He’s going to talk and you are going to listen.  Then you can talk and he can listen.  I’ll act as your mediator.  So, get inside the room before someone calls hotel security and that wouldn’t look good for any of us.”

I let him go and he glared at me.  He had balls, I’ll give him that.

“Jethro, please just let it go.”  Gil was staring at the floor.  Probably praying it would swallow him up.

“Gil, go put some clothes on.  No one can take you seriously when you’re wearing a towel.”

Gil flushed a deep red and snatched some clothes out of his suitcase.  The bathroom door slammed shut behind him.

I channeled my old drill sergeant and got in Stokes’ face.  “You will give him a chance.  You will pay very close attention to what the man says and act accordingly.  That man in there loves you.  Always has.  Since he couldn’t have you, he settled for me.  We’re fuck buddies.  That’s it.  There is no need to act like a jealous teenage girl.”

Surprisingly enough, the tension seemed to leave his body.  “If he loves me, why’d he go and marry Sara?”

“Maybe because he thought you were Texas white bread straight.  Ever think of that?  Maybe he assumed he didn’t have a chance with you.  Ask him, Stokes.”

I turned and shut the door and then took a seat on one of the beds.  Thank God the maids had been in to change the bedding.  I don’t think Stokes could have taken an unmade bed and the musky smell of two men rutting in the sheets.

Gil emerged from the bathroom dressed in sweatpants and a LVPD t-shirt.  He looked very unsure of himself.  I looked from one to the other.  They just stood there, looking everywhere but at each other.  Well, it was time for me to go to work.

“Will you both sit down.”  Gil sat woodenly down on the corner of the bed opposite of me.  Stokes sat in the straight backed chair by the desk.

When nothing was forthcoming from either of them, I said, “Gil, why don’t you start?”

Gil gave me an evil look but cleared his throat.  “Nicky…Nick, I’m sorry you had to find…”

“Find out what, Grissom?  That you’re fucking some guy while you married to Sara, but you supposedly love me.  What does that make you?”

“A stupid, old man.”

Well, that took the wind out of Stokes’ sails.  He leaned back and stared at Gil like he was really seeing him for the first time.

“I loved you from the first time I saw you.  I even told you once, but you wouldn’t remember.  After you were…taken…afterwards in the hospital, I sat with you while your parents got something to eat.  You woke up and looked at me and I just said it.  You smiled and closed your eyes.  There was a part of me that hoped you wouldn’t remember and then there was the part that hoped you would.  After you came back to work, I distanced myself from you and gave in to Sara’s infatuation for me.  I told myself that we would be good together.  We shared the same interests.  She loved me and I loved her, but I wasn’t in love with her.”

Gil took a deep breath and sat there staring at his hands.

“Where does he come in?”  Stokes said quietly.  Since he was giving me a nasty look, I assumed I was the ‘he’ he was talking about.

Gil looked at me and smiled wanly.  “Jethro is a friend.  One of the best friends I’ve ever had.  We have helped each other through some rough times.  We have sex on occasion, but we both know we aren’t in any type of relationship.  He’s the only one who knew my feelings for you and I think he guessed them long before I confided in him.”

I returned his smile and then turned to Stokes.

“Look Stokes, Gil may not have handled things neat and pretty, but he does love you.”

“What about Sara?  I won’t be your…hell…I don’t even know what you want, Griss.  You’re fucking married.”

“Nick, after this…” Gil held up his hands to encompass the room, “I can’t stay married to Sara.  It was a mistake from the start.  I have many regrets and marrying her when I loved you is the biggest.  I’m truly sorry if I hurt you.  Maybe I don’t deserve you or Sara. ”

Gil hung his head and swiped at his eyes with the back of his hand.  I can’t stand to see a grown man cry.  Was Stokes made of stone?  Gil just handed him his heart on a platter and he’s just sitting there staring at…why in the hell is he staring in Gil’s suitcase.

He got up from the chair and walked slowly over to it.  Gil raised his head at the movement.  Stokes reached in and picked up a framed picture.  I couldn’t see who or what was in the picture from where I sat, but it sure seemed to have an effect on Loverboy.

Still holding the picture he stared down at Gil.  “When did you take this?”

“About two weeks before I left.  I used to drive by your house sometimes.  I guess that makes me a stalker.  I was surprised you were outside and remember trying to come up with some reason I was driving down your street if you saw me.”

I stood quickly and snatched the picture from Stokes.  That picture sure made me stand up and pay attention.  Stokes was washing a pickup truck, wearing nothing but a pair of khaki shorts that rode pretty low on his hips.  It was a side view so I could see his nice six pack and even nicer pecs.

My eyes must have shown my appreciation because Gil yanked the frame from my hands and put it face down on the bed beside him.

Stokes sat again.  “When did you start driving by my house?”

Is that all the little shit could come up with to say?  If I were closer, I’d smack him on the back of his head.

“After Nigel Crane.  At first, it was just to make sure you were safe and then…”  Gil shrugged, “and then it was more than that.”

Stokes was biting his lower lip.  DiNozzo did that when he was nervous or had something really deep on his mind.

This was my time to bow out.  I knew they didn’t need a mediator anymore, just intimate conversation.  So, I stood and moved between the two, facing Stokes, I said, “I’m going next door to have a drink and watch some tv.  I like the volume pretty loud, so don’t worry about me overhearing any…discussions.”

Turning, I patted Gil on the shoulder and left, taking the bottle of Scotch with me.

True to my word, I turned on the tv…loud.  After pouring myself a Scotch, I leaned back on the headboard and tried to focus on the screen.  Who was I kidding, I was dying to know what was going on next door.  If Stokes hurt Gil, I might have to do some hurting of my own. 

I must have fallen asleep because I was startled awake by someone pounding on the wall.  Once I was really awake, I realized it was just ‘someone’.  My headboard was on the same wall as Gil’s headboard.  I couldn’t help but grin.  Apparently Stokes and Gil came to an understanding.

By the sound of it, they were communicating very well.  I reached over and grabbed the remote to turn up the volume some more.

The End

 

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