Title: I Belong To Yesterday
Author: Jaxson K.
Pairing: Nick/Gil, others
Rating: R
Summary: Sometimes things have to be sacrificed to hold on to what you've got.

***

Now that it's all said and done, I have to say that I'm glad it's over. I don't think about it much because it still hurts too bad. Of course your own mistakes are the ones that hurt the most. Let me see if I can keep it together long enough to make you understand what happenend.....

I met Nick shortly after I got to Vegas. I went to work at a convenience store that Nick stopped at all the time, and we became fast friends. We hung out sometimes after work and on our days off, and we had a lot of fun. I even got to know Warrick and he was a cool dude. Nick and I used to drive the rest of the guys crazy with Texas-isms and stories about back home. It wasn't long until I noticed my feelings toward Nick started changing. I ignored it at first, b ut as time went on, it became harder to do.

By the time I realized that what I was feeling for Nick was real, he was starting to talk a lot about Gil Grissom. I knew who he was, having been introduced to him at a party that Catherine was having. Then Nick started talking about Gil more seriously, and I couldn't take it anymore. I started spending less time with Nick, and more time alone. When Nick asked me to be one of the groomsmen at his and Gil's ceremony, I turned him down. I know I hurt his feelings, but I had to do it that way.

After the ceremony was over, I saw Nick even less. That was fine with me because it hurt me so to see him. Then, things really got bad. Greg Sanders and I had been friendly, and one drunken night, I screwed up and spilled my guts about my feelings for Nick. That was the biggest mistake I could have made! The next morning I realized what I had done, and I panicked. I grabbed what I could and left. I stopped long enough to withdraw my money from the bank, and headed east. I made really good time the first day, and was doing pretty well the next until just outside of Colorado Springs, Colorado. My car started giving me trouble, and I had to find a garage quick. I knew I didn't have enough money to fix the car and keep going so I fixed the car and took a part-time job in a diner bussing tables.

I'd been there a couple of months when one day I was finishing up from the lunch run. I heard the bell above the door and then I heard the one voice I really didn't want to hear. I heard Nick talking to Gil! I ran to the back and told my boss that I wasn't feeling well, and that I was taking the afternoon off. I snuck out the back and was hurrying to my car when I heard Nick call my name, "Matt!"

I was only 5 steps from my car, and wanted so badly to get in the car and drive off. Instead, I stopped and turned to face Nick.....

"Where the hell have you been, Matt? I've been looking everywhere for you....."

"Well, looks like you found me, Nick....."

"Just what in the hell is going on with you? You started acting weird, and then you turned me down about being in the wedding, and then you just took off."

"Nick, have you talked to Greg?"

"Yeah...he was going on about how you were in love with me, and I told him he was full of shit....."

"Nick, he told you the truth....I am in love with you!"

I watched as the shock registered on Nick's face. I hated to do this to him this way, but I had no choice.....

"How long?"

"Since before you started seeing Gil. I couldn't get up the nerve to say something, and when I did, it was too late. I kept it to myself because I didn't want there to be any problems."

"Surely we could have worked something out....."

"I don't think so, Nick. You were clearly happy with Gil, and I wasn't gonna mess that up."

"Matt, are you gonna come home?"

"No, Nick. I don't belong there anymore. I don't have a place there now. Truth is, I belong to yesterday, and that's where I need to stay."

With that, I got into my car and drove away. I went back to my little rented room and gathered my belongings. I pointed my car toward the east again, and drove. I eventually settled in the Midwest, and as far as I know, Nick and Gil are back in Vegas......

END

***