Title: Sixty to Zero
By: postnotice
Pairing: Nick/Greg & others
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Nuh.
Warnings: Other pairings.
A/N: For Jennifer, again; happy very belated birthday, bb! My brain was a mess writing this. I'M SO SORRY. And for the sake of the story, I threw some other stuff in there. There'll be another part to this, mebbe three. I'll see how it goes.

Basically, the other pairings are all basically nameless, except for the thing about Wendy and Hodges, but that's less blatant.

Since Henry started at the lab, he's acquired the bad habit of walking in on awkward situations. For example, on his first day, he'd walked in on one of the new lab techs, clad in only a bikini, with Warrick pressing her against the wall and doing some very r-rated things to her.

At least, he's pretty sure that's who he saw. He's not totally certain. Either way, it makes for an awkward relationship with all parties involved. He became very good at faking through the awkwardness with the girl, who was only on his shift for another three weeks before the higher-ups in the lab found out about her affair with Warrick and switched her to opposite shifts, but Warrick always has been a frightening guy to him. Intimidating; he's big, he's smart, and he gets more girls in a weekend than Henry's gotten his whole life, so, yes, Henry's nightmares are filled with men like Warrick Brown tearing him to pieces. Which clearly has nothing to do with Henry walking in on them, but deflecting the issue is something Henry does best.

That's not even the worst of it. If that were all he'd come across in the lab, he'd call himself a lucky man. No, Henry's luck seems to be the type that works in infinite loop; God forbid he ever get a slice of good luck.

For the first twelve months of his employment at the Vegas crime lab, Henry found himself in a plethora of situations he'd rather not see, ever. Finding Ecklie in the garage after shift with his ex-wife, reconciling and apparently making up for their past differences still manages to give Henry the creepy-crawlies. That's more of Conrad Ecklie than Henry ever wanted to see, and more than he'd ever planned. Seeing the guy once a day is already enough, seeing that much was a bit of an overdose.

Archie wasn't as bad – Henry didn't see it as much as he heard it – thankfully, but still, Archie's moaning still plays on a loop in his head every single time he talks to him – which is becoming less and less as time goes on. It freaks Henry out, okay? And Henry sees Archie a lot. Archie is normally a pretty confident guy when it comes to girls – something Henry is both amazed and jealous about, but Henry's not like Hodges so he doesn't act like a jackass about it – and that kind of confidence embarrasses Henry when he even thinks about it happening.

Still, Henry figures it's some sort of blessing in disguise that he never found out exactly who was making Archie make those noises. It's the least the universe can do for him; it's already awkward enough trying to talk to people he doesn't know.

Intimidating.

Once, he walked in on Catherine having phone sex. Okay, not so much walked in on as walked in to when he was getting to his car. Henry figures it's bad news that he parked next to her. He couldn't even fake his way out of it, and ever since, Catherine keeps giving him these knowing smiles. And, y'know, it's kind of difficult trying not to sound like an idiot when he knows she knows he knows.

Oh, and Wendy… well, Wendy's on again, off again crush on Hodges is something Henry has accidentally found himself in the middle of too many times for comfort. He's walked in on Wendy's surprises – and Hodges' surprises, if we're being fair – so often, he's almost sure that Henry's the reason they haven't worked out, not because of Hodges's all around general sour personality and over-confidence and Wendy's almost blatant obliviousness.

Life seems to be giving him a bit of a break, though. For eight and a half weeks, he's been awkward-free, and he's finally starting to hold actual conversations with people. He's not hip or cool – and he still doesn't get dates, unfortunately – but it's getting better. He doesn't feel like he's intruding on enemy territory every time he takes a bathroom break.

All runs of good luck must eventually end, though, because Henry finds himself in the middle of what appears to be an affair between Nick Stokes and Greg Sanders after he returns from his two days of leave for his parent's anniversary.

Right in the middle unfortunately means right in front of, because there's no way that Henry's going to be able to get past them in the bathroom without interrupting them. Not that that seems to be an easy feat – Henry doesn't look for very long, but he's pretty sure that the way Greg's tangled together with him isn't usually suitable for public places.

"Uh, guys?" Henry says uncertainly; his voice is higher than normal, but it still breaks the two apart. Nick seems to be at a loss for words and exits the bathroom before Henry can fully realize what's going on. Greg grimaces, but follows, too, without even a mutter or frown or anything to Henry.

Henry's a little too shell-shocked to comprehend what's going on, and his bladder has long since caved in on itself. The entire basis for his trip to the restroom now gone, Henry follows them out and wanders back to his lab, worried that the image of Nick and Greg sexing it up in the bathroom is going to haunt him for the rest of his life.

Five minutes later, in which Henry hasn't done much but stare at the counter tops and machines around him, Greg joins him, a half-grin on his face. He definitely looks a little more presentable, now, compared to moments ago when his hair was a mess and his shirt was riding up his chest.

"Sorry about that," he says sheepishly, scratching at his neck and standing awkwardly at the front of the lab room. "I thought I'd locked the door."

Enthusiastically nodding his head, Henry says, "Sure," but no amount of physical compensation can make up for how dull his voice sounds.

Walking towards him, Greg chuckles as he says, "Nick's pissed."

"Sure."

Silence follows, but not by choice. Henry's mind works hard trying to find something to say to make the awkward stop, and Greg's mouth opens and closes as if he can't decide what's best to say.

"We don't normally—"

Henry shakes his head. He's not sure what to look at. "I didn't think so."

"It's just, we haven't gotten time off together in a long time, and—"

Another nod. "Oh, sure, right, I bet-" Henry stops while he's ahead. Honestly, he thinks he's better off.

"You won't tell anyone, will you?" Greg finally asks, tapping his fingers on the tabletop and looking up at Henry from under his eyelashes. "We're still kind of flying under the radar."

If Henry even breathed a word of Greg's relationship with Nick, Judy and Jacqui and all the other women of the lab, save for maybe that sourpuss on days that Henry worked with one weekend, would be all over him scrambling for details. Which, yes, is good in its own way, but Henry's already scoped out many of the women at the lab, and they're nothing special enough for Henry's family to approve. And, y'know, not his type or anything. Not that he can afford to have a type when he's this old…

Besides, if Henry wanted to be that guy, he could have had the entire lab eating out of the palm of his hand when he first saw Warrick getting it on with the lab tech girl. The other technicians kill for that sort of thing, especially the girls, who seem to be equally divided between teams of Nick and Warrick. Any story involving those two could easily make front page of the Crime Lab tabloids. Especially if they were involved the same way Greg and Nick were a moment ago…

And Henry can imagine exactly how that story would fan out.

Greg's still looking at him expectantly, almost worried, so Henry hurries to shake his head. "No way! Your secret's safe with me."

Greg beams widely, and then claps Henry on the shoulder. "Thanks! Nick's still… unwilling to let it spread out around the lab. We really appreciate this."

With that, he leaves the lab and jogs back to catch up with Nick. Henry watches for a few moments, just in time to see Nick wave back at him in a silent thanks, but Henry barely smiles in response.

The entire situation is going to be difficult to remedy. He'll probably have to deal with the image burned into his mind for a long time.

Time to reset the counter.