Title: The Recovery
Author: Ann
Pairing: Catherine/Sara
Fandoms: CSI
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I have no affiliation whatsoever with this wonderful show
Spoilers: "Sex, Lies And Larvae" and "Inside the Box"
Sunnary: Sara takes care of an injured Catherine.

***

Part 1

Halleluiah! I am actually leaving at the end of regular shift for the first time in ages. Smiling, I can just hear the freshly laundered sheets of my bed calling me. As I reach the exit, I almost jump out of my skin as my cell phone rings. Looking at the display, I see Grissom's name. Crap, why couldn't it have been my sheets? He's probably going to tell me I have maxed out on overtime and have to leave the building.

"Hey, Gris. I am on my way out, I swear. . . . What? . . . When? . . . Where? . . . Is she okay? . . . I'm on my way."

I jump in the Denali and take off like a bat out of hell. I force myself to slow down at the first light. Getting into an accident is the last thing I need right now.

How the hell could this happen? The scene is supposed to be cleared by the responding officers before CSI moves in. Somebody's ass is going to be in a sling when I find out who is responsible. Catherine is my life. She just doesn't know it yet.

I arrive at the scene just as the ambulance is pulling in. I race to the backyard to find Catherine lying on the grass and Warrick in tears kneeling beside her. Catherine is unconscious and her limbs askew looking like a broken doll. I look closely to be sure she is breathing.

The paramedics rush to her side with a stretcher and their kits. They work quickly and efficiently to assess the injuries. Catherine is fitted with a neck brace and splints on her left leg and arm. She is carefully placed on the stretcher and wheeled away. The paramedics yell back their destination, UMC.

It takes every ounce of willpower not to run along with the stretcher and ride in the ambulance with Catherine. Instead, I have to take over this crime scene, Grissom's orders.

Warrick is certainly not in any condition to continue, so I suggest he go straight to the hospital. He nods and takes off running. Grissom is going to disagree with my decision, but Catherine needs one of us to look out for her in the ER.

I immediately turn toward the sound of a raised voice to find Brass dressing down a uniformed officer, quite efficiently if I may say so myself.

As I walk toward the two, I hear "I don't want to hear any excuses. You were the first officer on the scene. It is your responsibility to clear the scene. No one and I mean no one is to enter the house without your official okay."

The officer does not look the least bit remorseful for his actions or rather lack of in this case. In fact, he seems callous and indifferent about the whole situation.

I am positive of my assessment when he says "I did check the upstairs. How was I supposed to know the guy was some sort of circus performer that could balance on the outside balcony wall? He was out of my view when I checked the bedroom. We wouldn't be in this situation if a male CSI had stumbled upon the guy. That redhead has no business being in any branch of law enforcement if she can't defend herself. Matter of fact, I don't know many women who are worthy of our profession."

Before I know it, I am standing toe to toe with Officer Chauvinist Asshole. "You son of a bitch, you're the one who has no business in law enforcement. You didn't clear the crime scene properly, you let the suspect get away, and to top it off, you don't even have the balls to accept responsibility for your screw up. I can bet you ten years salary Catherine fought this guy tooth and nail, but it's a little difficult to defend yourself when you are being pushed off of a second story balcony. If she suffers any permanent damage from this, I am personally going to drag you upstairs and kick your sorry ass off that balcony."

Brass quickly steps in between the two of us before things can escalate further. "Sara, back off. I know you're upset and so am I. Go on and get to work on the crime scene. I'll take care of this situation. When I get through with this officer, he'll be lucky if he can get a job working security at the local arcade."

Trusting Jim, I walk toward the house to begin processing the evidence. My mantra becomes 'the faster I finish, the faster I can get to Catherine.'

As hard as I try to concentrate on the job, I can't seem to get my mind off of Catherine. This could have been any one of us, a simple B&E gone terribly wrong. I only wish it had happened to me instead of her.

Focus, Sara. Do what you do best. Push this to the back of your mind to deal with later.

I open my kit to begin with the first floor when I look up to see Greg and Nick entering the front door with their kits in hand. Nick takes the lead and heads toward me.

"Hey, Sara. Grissom sent us to lend you a hand. Where do you want us?"

Nick is visibly upset, but is maintaining his professionalism. Greg hasn't said a word.

I ask "Any news on Catherine?"

Nick shakes his head and says "Warrick said she regained consciousness in the ambulance. He was able to talk to her for a few seconds at the hospital before the doctors came in and kicked him out. She said she doesn't remember anything about the attack and her condition is still being assessed by the doctors. Grissom has gone to the hospital to interview Warrick and wait for the prognosis. He will make sure we are updated."

I nod my head at the news. At least she is awake.

I leave Nick and Greg to process the first floor while I move to the second level. Officer Dumbass indicated Catherine was in the bedroom alone. I'm willing to bet it was the first room she processed.

I step into the master bedroom to find the balcony doors wide open. Scanning the room for fingerprint powder, I see traces on the right door leading out to the balcony. It looks as if Catherine had just begun to dust for prints when she was attacked.

There are no signs of a struggle in the bedroom, but several plants have been knocked over on the balcony. I wonder if Catherine heard a noise and went to investigate.

Deciding to process the balcony area first, I am able to lift several prints off the balcony's ledge. Catherine had her gloves on so I'm hoping these are the suspect's and not the homeowner's prints.

After a couple of hours, I have completed work on the upstairs. Nothing is out of place in any of the other rooms. It seems all activity was confined to the master bedroom and balcony. I hope Nick and Greg were able to find something noteworthy.

I make my way downstairs to find Nick on the phone and Greg still uncharacteristically silent. I am able to catch the last part of Nick's conversation as I reach the bottom step.

"That's great, Warrick. Give her our best and tell her we'll be there as soon as we can. Talk to you later, man."

Nick closes his phone with a huge smile on his face. Patiently, I await his report.

Still grinning, Nick says "Warrick called. Catherine's going to be okay. The doctors put her through the wringer with x-rays and tests. She has a broken left arm and leg and bruised ribs, but everything else checks out. The doctor said she more than likely landed on her leg and arm and then somehow rolled with the momentum. He said there was no head trauma. Apparently, she passed out from the pain."

I guess all the pent up emotions have finally taken its toll on me as I sit on the bottom step and break down.

 

Part 2

Nick sits down and engulfs me in a hug. Looking over his shoulder, I notice Greg awkwardly shifting his weight from foot to foot.

"Um… Nick …Sara…. I'm going to put our kits in the truck. I'll wait for you outside."

After several minutes, I pull away from Nick and wipe the tears from my face. "I'm sorry about this, Nick. I don't know what's wrong with me. I guess everything hit me at once."

Nick, the perfect gentleman, says "Hey, don't worry about it. You are entitled to a melt down every now and then. Sara, you're just worried about Catherine. I know how much you care for her."

I immediately freeze. What exactly did he mean by that last statement? Was he insinuating I care for Catherine as a friend or more? I decide to shrug off Nick's comment and move to safer ground. "Thanks for the shoulder, Nick. Just don't tell anyone, okay?"

He gives me his patented 'who me?' smile and responds "Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me."

I'm sure Nick is referring to my break down and not my feelings toward Catherine. At least I think I'm sure. Great, that's all I need, something else to worry about.

Nick and I gather the rest of our things and head outside to meet Greg. Nick insists he and Greg take the evidence back to the lab while I go to the hospital. I agree, but only after engaging in a half-hearted debate.

I am halfway to UMC when I realize the possible impact of allowing Nick and Greg to bring in the evidence. This is my case; I am the lead investigator. How is it going to look if I hand the evidence off and run to Catherine?

Well, it's too late for second guessing now. I'm already in the hospital parking lot so I may as well go in. Entering the front doors, I walk toward the information desk to find Catherine has already been assigned a room. I turn toward the elevator bank when I hear my name. Crap, it's Grissom.

"Sara, why aren't you at the crime scene or back in the lab? What are you doing here?"

Double crap. I quickly explain "Nick and Greg are taking the evidence back to the lab. I thought I would swing by to make sure Catherine is okay before heading back."

Typical Grissom responds "Warrick called, didn't he? Catherine's going to be fine. There is no need for you to be here. You should get back to the lab."

I count to ten then I count backwards to one. "Grissom, if you don't mind, I would like to see for myself. I don't want the last image I have of Catherine to be of her lying on the ground broken and battered. I will go back to the lab as soon as I have seen her with my own eyes."

Clearly not happy, Grissom nods his head as he walks out of the building. And I thought I didn't have any social skills.

Taking a deep breath, I knock on the door before entering. Lindsey is seated on the bed next to Catherine. Warrick is standing on her left and an older woman is standing on her right.

They all turn to look at me as I enter and I get a funny feeling that I've walked into a discussion about me.

Warrick, Lindsey, and older lady smile while Catherine frowns. Maybe she's in pain.

Warrick begins the conversation. "Sara, the lady of the hour, we were just talking about you."

I scan all four faces, three smiling faces and one huge frowning face. This can not be good.

I respond "What makes me so interesting?"

No one responds; however, the older woman makes a beeline over to me. She extends her hand as she introduces herself. "Hello, Sara. I'm Lily, Catherine's mother."

Nice looking woman. Catherine is going to age beautifully. I grasp her hand gently and respond "Nice to meet you. Can you give me a hint as to what is going on?"

"Yes, Sara. I will enlighten you, but first, would you mind escorting an old lady down to the cafeteria for a bite to eat. Warrick and Lindsey can keep Catherine company."

This is definitely a bad omen. Evidently, she can't tell me in front of the others. I can not begin to imagine what this all has to do with me.

We make small chit chat on the elevator ride. It is apparent Lily is not going to give me any details until she is good and ready.

She picks out a sandwich and tea while I get a cup of coffee. I insist on paying as she thanks me and moves to a corner table, a far corner table.

The minute we take our seats, Lily begins. "Sara, you've known my daughter for quite a few years now so you know how bull headed she can be on certain subjects."

Talk about an understatement, but I nod my agreement.

Not missing a beat, Lily continues. "Well, she only has to stay in the hospital until tomorrow. Her father wants to hire round the clock nurses to look after her, but Catherine will never agree to it. She uses the excuse of not wanting strangers in her home, but I think she just doesn't want to have anything to do with her father."

Why would she want to shun her father? Now that I think about it, I've only heard Catherine speak of her mother. I guess there must be bad blood between the two of them. I can certainly respect her wishes. If my father were alive today, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with him either.

I nod my head for Lily to continue.

"Anyway, she is going to require quite a bit of assistance and I'm afraid I'm not physically able to provide for her needs. Besides, we would kill each other if we have to spend more than 12 hours a day together. So, I was wondering if you would consider moving in and helping."

I have to keep my jaw from hitting the table. Catherine and I wouldn't even last 6 hours together before one of us commits murder or suicide. What are these people thinking?

Before I can voice my objections, Lily says "You would be perfect. She will be sleeping when you are at work, so I should be able to handle any problems during that time. You would be home by the time she needs to get up. Warrick said your Mr. Grissom would make sure that you are able to clock out at the end of each shift. What do you say?"

I tell you what I say. You're nuts and I'm going to kill Warrick for going along with this. I can excuse Lindsey since she's not old enough to know better. And what about me? When I am supposed to sleep if I'm taking care of Catherine during the day?

I open my mouth to say no but am stopped by the hopeful look in Lily's eyes. How am I going to keep this from happening without hurting her feelings?

Oh, I know. With a gleam in my eye, I ask "What does Catherine have to say about all of this?"

 

Part 3

Lily shakes her head and says "She's not very happy with the idea, but she doesn't want to stay in the hospital and she doesn't want Sam's nurses."

Sam? Is that the name of Catherine's father? I'll have to file that tidbit away for later.

Confused as to why I am the perfect solution to this problem, I ask "Why me? I would think Catherine would want one of her friends to stay with her or perhaps hire a nurse."

Lily responds "Sara, Catherine doesn't really have any close friends anymore and she can't afford to hire a nurse on her salary. Her sister works full time and can only help out occasionally with Lindsey. Besides, since you and Catherine work so closely with each other, I would think you two would be friends."

Thinking doesn't make it so. I would love to be friends with Catherine. Of course, I would love to be more than friends with Catherine too.

Instead I offer a safe answer. "If Catherine agrees for me to stay with her, I will be more than happy to do so."

Hell will freeze over before Catherine would ever agree to have me play nursemaid to her.

We return to the room after Lily finishes her lunch. Warrick has left and Lindsey is asleep in the chair. Catherine is pensively looking out the window.

Lily walks to the bed and brushes Catherine's hair from her face as I stand by the door. "Catherine, Sara has agreed to stay with you as long as you are willing."

Catherine evidently is unaware of my presence as she answers "Yeah right, Mom. Sara barely tolerates me. There is no way she would willingly agree to take care of me."

I push away from the door and move into the room. "She's right, Catherine. You need someone to help you until you get the casts off. I can move in whenever you say."

Sara Sidle, have you lost your mind? You are opening yourself up to a ton of heartache.

Catherine turns her head towards me stunned. I'm not sure if she's surprised to find me in the room or she can't believe I have volunteered my services.

"Sara, are you sure? You really need to talk to the doctors and nurses about what will be involved before you agree. I imagine I will be quite the handful."

No shit. Catherine's quite the handful on a regular basis. I'm afraid to think of how much worse she will be.

Thankfully, my pager goes off saving me from my answer. Checking the display, I find the lab's numbers. It's got to be either Nick or Grissom. I sure hope its Nick.

"Catherine, I need to get back to the lab. Have the nurse call me to let me know when I can meet with the doctor. I'll talk to him and then give you my final decision."

I quickly say my goodbyes and escape.

Returning to the lab, I am met by a smiling, joking Greg. It's nice to see him back to normal or at least normal for Greg.

Greg ran the prints through AFIS and got a hit, Jason Ziegler. Years ago, Catherine and Warrick worked a crime scene involving a stolen painting. Turns out the son was stealing his dad's priceless paintings and replacing them with forgeries. It seems the dad was paying more attention to the paintings than to his own son, so Jason decided to switch out the paintings. He had no intention of selling them; he just wanted the satisfaction of knowing his dad was being made a fool of. When his dad found out, he immediately pressed charges against Jason.

I guess this time tough love didn't pay off since it appears Jason has turned to a life of crime. Nick has gone back to the crime scene to collect any paintings to test for authenticity and Brass sent some uniforms to collect Jason at his last known address.

It looks like Grissom was wrong about me needing to get back to the lab immediately.

This case seems to have solved itself without me.

The ringing of my cell pulls me from my ruminations. I check the display. UMC. Who'd be….oh yeah, Catherine.

"Hello? . . . Yes, I can be there in an hour. . . . Fine, I'll see you then."

Yippee, I have an appointment with Catherine's doctor. She must be desperate to go home if she's willing to allow me to take care of her.

Looking at my watch, I note that shift has officially been over for 8 hours. I better get going if I'm going to meet with Catherine's doctor and still have time for some shuteye before reporting back to work for the next shift.

I enter UMC and go to the information desk for the second time today. Doctor Waters is Catherine's primary physician and his office is located on the seventh floor.

A secretary greets me as I arrive at the office and asks me to have a seat. I pick up a few outdated magazines to thumb through to pass the time. With the money these guys make, you would think they could afford current magazines. Three of these still have Nixon as president.

After ten minutes, the secretary shows me in. Doctor Waters is writing something in a folder so I have a seat and wait.

He makes one last notation before saying "Ms. Sidle, it's nice to meet you. Mrs. Willows told me you are considering taking on the task of her caregiver for the next few weeks. I think I should fill you in on some of the details."

He talks for the next fifteen minutes. Catherine has hairline fractures of both her tibia and fibula. Her radius suffered a more serious break. The doctor does not want Catherine to bear any weight on her leg for three weeks. At that time, he will re-evaluate and more than likely put her in a walking cast. Since her arm is also in a cast, crutches are out of the question. She will have to use a wheelchair and will need assistance both in and out of the chair.

The doctor tells me to call his nurse if I have any more questions before sending me down the hall to visit the physical therapy area. One of the therapists is waiting to show me the proper method of getting Catherine in and out of the chair.

Forty five minutes later, I am standing outside Catherine's room. I gently knock on the door and enter. Catherine is alone and appears to be sleeping. I quietly call her name and do not get a response. I sit in the chair next to the bed and watch her sleep. God, she is so beautiful.

Can I do this? Be this close to the object of my affection and keep my desire in check. I know how difficult it was for her to ask me for help. How can I turn her down?

I am so caught up in my thoughts I don't realize Catherine is awake until she calls my name. I immediately turn my attention to the bed.

"Sara, you were a million miles away. I hope you aren't this distracted if I need to go to the bathroom."

I blush and apologize for my inattentiveness. I describe my meeting with both the doctor and physical therapist. I don't divulge the hints the therapist gave me on how to deal with an uncooperative patient.

There is an awkward silence after my report. We both look at each other and then glance away.

Several more minutes elapse before Catherine finally asks "Well, are you willing to help me?"

 

Part 4

As I start to respond, the door opens and in walks Lily.

"Sara, I'm so glad you're here. I talked with Mr. Grissom and he has agreed to give you the next couple of days off so that you can acclimate yourself to Catherine's house. I thought you might want to bring your things over tonight. We'll need to take Lindsey to school and then bring Catherine home in the morning."

Shocked, I sit in the chair with my mouth agape.

Catherine doesn't hesitate to come to my rescue. "Mother, what gives you the right to take over Sara's life? She hasn't even given me her decision yet and you have her moving in tonight. And what made you call Gil? Work is very important to Sara. If or when she takes off is her decision. You are not going to try to run her life like you do mine. I won't stand for it."

Oh my. I never thought I would see the day Catherine Willows would come to my defense. It's a good thing too, because I don't think I would stand a chance against Lily on my own.

"Of course Sara's going to help, Catherine. She's a friend isn't she? There is no way she would make you stay in this hospital knowing how much you hate it."

I feel like I'm watching a tennis match as my head turns with each response.

"Mother, butt out. This is between me and Sara. Why don't you go down to the cafeteria and get something to drink while I finish my conversation with Sara."

Advantage, Catherine. Let's see what her mother serves up next.

"Fine, I know when I'm not wanted. One of these days when I'm gone, you're going to wish I was here to give you advice."

Ouch. Looks like an ace. I don't think Catherine can return that one.

"Oh mother, please. You know I love you, but you are going to have to leave so I can talk to Sara uninterrupted."

Oh, nice return Catherine. And the game is over as Lily leaves the room.

"Sara, I am so sorry about my mother. Please don't pay any attention to her. This decision only concerns you and me. If you do this, she will only be around during the night. She has found a part time job she loves, so she will not be around very much during the day."

I nod my head and reply "Okay."

With a confused look Catherine asks "Okay, you understand it's our decision, or okay, you are going to move in and help me?"

I smile and say "Okay, I am willing to help you through your recovery. Tell your mom I will bring my things over later, but I will sleep in my apartment tonight. I will pick Lindsey up for school in the morning and then swing by and get you. Lily can stay and get the house ready. How does that sound?"

Catherine returns my smile and answers "Perfect."

"Then I'll be on my way. Since I seem to be off work for a couple of nights, I think I'll take advantage of the time and run some errands. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

Leaving the hospital, I drive to the American Home Medical Equipment Supply recommended by the physical therapist. I find a space in front of the store and park. Reaching into my pocket for the list of suggested items, I make my way into the store.

Hundreds of dollars later, I am on my way. I make one more stop at The Sport Authority to get Catherine some sweat pants that will fit over her cast. I also pick up a few t-shirts and thick socks to match. As I pull into my apartment parking space, my cell phone rings.

The display shows C. Willows. "Hello. Oh, hi Lily. . . . Yes, I will be coming by there in a couple of hours. . . . No, I think I'll sleep here tonight. . . . Yes, that is important. . . . Okay, I'll see you in a bit."

Lord, this woman is going to drive me nuts before I get the chance to move in.

Exactly two hours later, I am sitting in Catherine's driveway. It's probably going to take at least an hour to unload all these medical supplies along with my own stuff. Oh well, I may as well get started.

Lily greets me at the door with a huge smile. She offers to help, but I decline. That doesn't stop her from following me in and out the door with each and every load asking questions, making comments, and offering suggestions.

I put my things in Catherine's closet and begin the process of unloading the medical supplies. I'm not sure if Catherine will need all this stuff, but John, the manager, said I could return any unused items for a full refund.

Now all I have to do is put this stuff together. I ask Lily if she knows where Catherine's tools are. She offers to retrieve the toolbox and I graciously accept. At least I will have a few minutes of silence.

I purchased an acrorail system that attaches to the bed frame. This should help Catherine sit up and possibly get in position for me to lift her. I also unpack the overbed/chair mobile tilt table top. I figure Catherine may want to read or perhaps work on some of her case files.

Lily returns as I organize the parts. I hope none of the nuts or bolts are missing. I hate it when you start to put something together and find pieces missing.

After checking and double checking, all the parts seem to be present. I think I'll begin with the installation of the rail. I love working with tools especially power tools. I sure hope Catherine has an electric screwdriver.

I get the rail installed and the table top put together without any problem despite the non-stop chatter coming from Lily. I have managed to avoid discussing my youth by diverting her attention to Catherine's youth instead. Man, do I have some blackmail material on Catherine.

As I begin to unload the rest of the boxes, Lindsey walks in followed by another woman. Introductions are made by Lily. Catherine's sister, Nancy, does not look a bit like her. Different hair color, eye color, and height are apparent at first glance.

Nancy invites me to join them for Chinese take-out, but I decline with the excuse of needing to finish my unpacking. I tell her I will get something on my way home.

The three leave and I finally have some peace and quiet to finish my tasks. I unbox the suction cup grab bars and threshold ramps. These items can be used anywhere so I will wait until tomorrow to determine their placement. I find the personal pager and place it on the night stand. I hope I can get Catherine to wear it.

The last items are for the bathroom. I walk into the master bath to get an idea of the setup. The shampoo aide is going to be perfect to use with the oversized sink and the bath transfer bench should work nicely as well. I'm not sure how we're going to work out getting on and off the toilet, but I'm sure I'll think of something.

I move back into the bedroom, put together the bathroom items, and place them in the master bath. As I collapse the boxes for storage, I begin to work out a daily routine in my head.

Right in the middle of my musings, I stop and sit on the floor dumbstruck. Holy shit! I am going to see Catherine naked on a daily basis.

 

Part 5

After several minutes, I am able to get up off the floor and complete my tidying task. I install one of the threshold ramps at the front door and then find the others to say my goodbyes. I tell Lily I will return at 7:30 a.m. to take Lindsey to school.

I swing by the Thai restaurant near my apartment for take out. After eating, I take a shower and go to bed. I set my alarm for 6:30 a.m. and turn out the light.

My dreams are filled with images of a naked Catherine. Thank God I didn't dream in color or 3-D. I awake the next morning in an extremely horny state and take matters into my own hand.

At 7:10 a.m., I am on my way to pick up Lindsey. As I pull up to the house, she is waiting for me in the drive. She runs to the truck and jumps in.

"Hey, Lindsey. How are you doing today?"

She looks at me like I'm insane. "Sara, I've spend the entire night and morning with Grandma. How do you think I'm doing?"

I laugh as I pull away from the curb. Lindsey is very bright for her age and is enjoyable to be around. We have a nice conversation on the way to school. She tells me her Aunt Nancy will be picking her up every day until Catherine can drive.

I drop her off and watch her until she is inside the building. Next stop, UMC.

I move to knock on Catherine's door when I hear raised voices.

"Ms. Willows, you only have to use the bed pan one more time. When you get home, you can use the toilet. For right now, you will use this bed pan or hold it until you get home."

"Listen to me you Nazi nurse. I am not going to use this bed pan one more time. I am going home today, so I don't see any reason why I can't use the bathroom properly."

Gathering my courage, I knock on the door and enter. "Good morning, Catherine. I've come to take you home. Why don't you follow the nurse's order one more time and then we can get out of here."

Catherine shoots me a death glare while the nurse looks on with relief. I stand near the doorway with my arms folded returning Catherine's glare.

After a few tense moments, she finally gives in and nods her head. I step out into the hallway until the nurse leaves. I return with a smile on my face. Score one for me.

"Okay, Catherine. I brought you a t-shirt and a pair of sweats that should fit over your cast. What do you say we get you dressed and blow this joint?"

Catherine doesn't say anything but nods her head in assent. I can't help but smile. I seem to be on a roll. That's two for me.

I reach into the bag for the t-shirt. As I turn around, I find Catherine has already slipped her hospital gown off and is sitting there naked with the sheets pooled around her waist.

Oh…My…God. I stand there with my mouth wide open, staring. I just hope I don't have any drool escaping. The t-shirt slides from my grasp and drops on the floor.

Catherine continues to sit there topless with an added smirk on her face. Score two for Catherine and I do mean two. Two perfect breasts.

I snap out of my stupor and reach down for the t-shirt. I move toward the bed and try very hard to keep my gaze at eye level. I stand to the side of Catherine and prepare the t-shirt to slip over her arms first.

We manage to slide the shirt over her arms and then over her head. I pull it the rest of the way down covering Catherine's assets.

Catherine evidently has decided to stay mute. I have a feeling she may be storing this embarrassing moment for later.

I retrieve the sweat pants and pull them over her feet. I manage to work them over the cast and up the uninjured leg. Now what? How am I going to get them over her waist without putting pressure on her leg?

Catherine solves the problem by lying back and working the pants up a little at a time with her good arm. I put her matching socks on and Catherine seems very pleased.

I relate the arrangements Nancy and Lily have made in getting Lindsey to and from school. Catherine is clearly unhappy about not being consulted, but after a few minutes of discussion, she is okay with the idea. I'm going to have to send the therapist, Jill, flowers for filling me in on the proper way to handle problem patients.

As I gather Catherine's things, Nurse Nazi comes in pushing a wheelchair. She has numerous papers for Catherine to sign before she can be released. I acquaint myself with the wheelchair while Catherine reads through the papers.

The hospital has a rental agreement with a local supply company. The patient is responsible for the proper care and return of the wheelchair. This particular chair is set up perfectly for Catherine's needs with a leg and arm rest on the left side.

The nurse leaves and Catherine calls me to her side. "Sara, please get me out of here. I don't think I can stand another minute of this place."

I push the wheelchair over to the left side and carefully put one arm under Catherine's legs while placing the other arm around her waist. I instruct Catherine to hook her casted arm around my neck. I concentrate on the mechanics and try not to think about how good she feels in my arms as I very slowly lift her from the bed.

Gingerly, I place her in the chair making certain her left leg and arm are supported. She releases my neck and I stand. Whew, made it. I only have hundreds of lifts left.

I push Catherine out the door of UMC into the sunlight. I don't believe I have ever seen her smile so big. We make it to the truck without any problems. I open the door and push the seat back as far as it will go. Carefully, I extract Catherine from the chair and very gently place her on the seat.

I had been very nervous about being able to maneuver Catherine in and out of the chair. Jill said it probably would take some time to get the kinks worked out, but it's as if we are in perfect sync with each other. I hope every aspect will be this easy.

 

Part 6

We arrive at Catherine's to find Lily waiting in the driveway. I had called her from the hospital to let her know we were leaving.

She rushes to the truck to greet us, and I notice Catherine's cheery mood is fading fast. Maybe calling Lily ahead of time was not such a good idea.

"You're finally here. I was getting worried. Sara called almost an hour ago. Where have you two been? You should have called to let me know you were running late. I was getting ready to call the hospital to see if something had happened."

Catherine is about ready to blow. Her face is flushed and her brow has that little wrinkle indicating someone is about to catch hell.

Perhaps I can provide a diversionary tactic. "Lily, do you think you could go to Anthony's Deli over on South Valley View Boulevard to pick up some lunch?"

She quickly answers "That won't be necessary, Sara. I made some soup. Catherine needs to eat soft foods."

Catherine jumps in before I can make a counter offer. "Mother, there is nothing wrong with my stomach. The doctor wants me to keep up my strength and soup isn't going to do it. I need something solid."

I look to Lily expecting to see a hurt expression on her face only to find her preparing for a retaliatory remark. I quickly blurt out "You know what? Soup and sandwiches sound great. I am a vegetarian and can only eat certain sandwiches. Anthony's makes the best Veggie wrap in the city. I would really appreciate it if you could go and pick up some sandwiches while I get Catherine settled in. What kind of sandwich would you like Catherine?"

Catherine looks at me in awe before replying "Turkey on wheat."

I reach in my pocket and pull out a twenty and hand it over to Lily. She smiles and says "That's a great idea, Sara. I'll go get my purse and be back in a little while."

I begin to push Catherine toward the front door when I hear "You're good, Sara Sidle. You're very good. You even managed to send her across town keeping her out of my hair for awhile. Can I keep you?"

I almost push Catherine into the grass before straightening out on the sidewalk. Oh Catherine, if you only knew.

Catherine is clearly impressed with the threshold ramp as we enter the house. I wonder how she is going to feel about the other items.

Lily comes down the hallway with her purse in hand. She asks if we need anything else while she's out. Neither one of us can think of anything so Lily heads toward the door and tells us to call her cell if we think of anything.

Catherine mutters under her breath "No way in hell."

Laughing, I ask Catherine if she would like something to drink. She smiles replying "I would kill for a good cup of coffee." I skillfully steer her into the kitchen and push her next to the table.

Catherine directs me to the coffee and filters. I prepare the coffeemaker and sit down at the table with Catherine to wait for it to brew.

After a few moments of comfortable silence, Catherine says "Sara, I don't know how I can possibly repay you for making such a magnanimous gesture. You not only have to deal with me but Mom and Lindsey as well. I'm not so sure I would be able to make such an offer if our roles were reversed."

I'm fairly certain Catherine would offer some help to me, but I don't believe she would choose to move in and take care of me.

Instead I answer, "Of course you would, Catherine. But let's not discuss improbable situations. We need to figure out some sort of daily routine. I'll be returning to work tomorrow night so some parts of your day will need to be scheduled."

Rising, I move to pour our coffee. I return to the table after adding sweetener to Catherine's.

I place the mug in front of her and she takes her first sip. "Yum. This is wonderful. It's exactly like I like it. How did you know how I take my coffee?"

Mentally I answer because I watch your every move. Aloud I say, "I think you once told me you prefer one and a half packets in your cup."

Catherine answers "I don't remember ever discussing coffee with you, but I'll take your word for it. Now, what things do we need to schedule?"

"Your mom is staying with you at night so I will put you in bed before I leave for work. I'll need to get some sleep in the morning and there will be some things we should do before I go to bed. I want you to be comfortable during the time I am sleeping."

Catherine nods her head and asks "What kind of things?"

Pausing, I reply "Let's see. First, we have to get you up in the morning. Um…then you will probably need to use the toilet. And…" Dear Lord "… we'll follow up with a bath."

Catherine is oblivious to my current flustered state. "Take a bath? How am I going to manage that with these damn casts? I can't get them wet."

I answer "Erm ... I got this bench thingee. It will keep your left leg elevated and out of the way, but you won't actually be able to submerge yourself in the tub. I also found this shower type nozzle that connects to the faucet. We can cover your arm cast with plastic, and you can soap yourself and then rinse using the nozzle."

Smiling, Catherine says "Very clever, Sara. I do see a problem though. How will I keep my balance to soap myself or reach for the nozzle to rinse without falling on my head?"

I feel my face turning red as I reply "You're going to need some help either with the balancing or the bathing."

Realization has finally made its way to Catherine's brain. With a matching red face, she responds "Oh."

 

Part 7

We finish our coffee while managing to avoid the proverbial elephant sitting in the corner. I guess we'll solve the bath balancing problem when we get to it.

My cell rings as I am placing our mugs in the dishwasher. It's Brass letting me know he's arrested Jason. The home belonged to a friend of the father, Joe Barton. Jason's dad had been planning to continue paying for Jason's education until Joe Barton talked him out of it. Jason was going to steal the paintings to help pay for the remainder of his education. I ask Brass if I can put him on speaker so Catherine can hear. He agrees and continues with his report.

"Jason had gained access into the master bedroom by climbing up to the balcony, and apparently he was unaware a silent alarm had been triggered. He was making his way downstairs when he saw the flashing lights through the front door. Jason made his way back to the balcony only to discover a policeman in the backyard. He hid on the edge of the balcony and waited."

Jim pauses as if looking at his notes before continuing. "Catherine made her way into the bedroom and evidently noticed the balcony doors were ajar. She pulled them open and began to fingerprint the edge. Jason lost his footing and knocked over a plant and Catherine came out to investigate. Jason said he started over the balcony and Catherine made a grab for him. He said Catherine slipped and went over the edge. He made a grab for her but only managed to slow her fall. Jason jumped to the ground, called for help, and ran. He knocked over Officer Pratt as he escaped. He remembered Catherine from her work on his dad's case and seemed very upset that she was injured."

I thank Brass for the report and close my cell. Catherine has a lost expression on her face. It's as if she's grasping for something. Maybe I shouldn't have let her listen to Brass.

"Hey Catherine, are you okay?"

Shaking her head as if to clear cobwebs, she answers "Why can't I remember? I didn't hit my head. I remember going into the bedroom and seeing the doors, but nothing after that."

I kneel next to her chair and take her right hand. "It will come to you. Don't try to force it. You have suffered a trauma. Your brain needs time to deal with it."

Lily walks in as I am comforting Catherine and asks "What's wrong? Do we need to take Catherine back to the hospital?"

Good Lord, this woman could drive a person to drink. "No, Lily. Catherine was discussing the case with me. Hey, did you find Anthony's okay?"

Catherine squeezes my hand before letting go. I smile and listen to Lily tell about her trip to the deli.

We make small talk while we eat, and Catherine is relieved to find out Lily will only be staying through lunch. It seems she has a dinner date tonight and she will be going back to her part time job tomorrow. She will return tomorrow night to stay with Catherine.

After what seems like forever, Lily has finally taken her leave and Catherine and I are getting ready to embark on our next embarrassing moment. Catherine has expressed a desire to use the bathroom facilities and we have to figure out the best way to get her on the toilet.

I wheel Catherine into the master bath and survey the situation. I notice there is a wall to the right of the commode. I retrieve one of the suction grab bars and affix it to the wall for Catherine to use to balance herself, now to solve the problem of her leg. I look around and spy the bath bench. It seems to be the perfect height.

I place the bench to the left side of the toilet. The doctor told Catherine she could put her leg down for only a minute at a time and to try to limit the motion so I think my plan will work. I guess it's time to find out so I wheel Catherine close to the toilet.

Placing my hands on my hips, I say "Okay, Catherine. Here's the plan. I'm going to lift you and put you down next to the toilet. I know this next part is going to be difficult for you, but you will need to pull down your pants and underwear and then pivot on your good leg without putting any weight on your left leg. I will lift your left leg up and place it on the bath bench as you sit down. You should be able to maintain your balance using the grip bar. I will step into the bedroom until you call me to help you back in the chair. Is that all right with you or do you want to try something else?"

Catherine is clearly not happy with my plan, but for the life of me, I can't figure out any other way.

After a few moments, she nods her head and says "I don't know how else we're going to do this. It's just so damn embarrassing to not be able to sit on the toilet without help, but I have to go so let's get it over with."

I gently pick her up and put her down in front of the toilet making sure she doesn't fall. She reaches for her pants and I move my eyes to her shoulders. Catherine pivots so I assume her pants are in the down position. As she begins to sit, I try to move my eyes from her shoulders to her leg without any in between peeking. She begins to stumble and I reach out and pull her to me steadying her.

Catherine immediately says "I'm okay."

Well, I'm certainly not. I have Catherine Willows in my arms wearing nothing but a t-shirt and two casts with her pants at her knees. God, give me strength.

I take a deep breath and pull back looking in Catherine's eyes. I smile and say "Ready to try again." She nods her head.

This time she successfully hits her mark and I gently place her leg on the bench. I tell her I will wait in the bedroom for her call and to be careful.

I move to the bedroom and sink to my knees.

Part 8

We barely survive the "dismount" and Catherine decides to rest for awhile. I wheel her into the bedroom and demonstrate the acrorail system. She is very impressed with the way I have made things so easy for her.

Blushing, I also show her the personal pager and ask if she would please wear it during the day and not to hesitate to use it. I explain how it will alert me if she needs me when I'm in another part of the house.

Lifting her from the chair, I place her on the bed. I think we both need some time alone to regroup after our first trip to the bathroom. Walking toward the door I say, "Catherine, I will be in the den working. I've brought my laptop so I can work on case notes. Either use the pager or yell if you need something."

She agrees and I leave her to rest.

I plop down on the couch and run the past 15 minutes through my head. I am in hell. Someone has a sick sense of humor and knows exactly how to punish me. Finding out that Catherine is a true red head is certainly not helping matters. I'm going to have to find a fixed point to concentrate on during the dismount portion of the toilet routine.

I open my laptop and try to concentrate on my case notes. After about an hour, I am busily typing away when I hear a scream from the bedroom.

I rush in to find Catherine calling out in her sleep and thrashing in the bed. I move forward gently calling her name.

Catherine is mumbling "Please, please don't let me fall. Please don't let go."

I sit on the edge of the bed, take her hand, and gently stroke her hair. "It's okay Catherine. C'mon, wake up. You're safe."

Catherine finally gasps and opens her eyes. She grabs my shirt and pulls herself up as she launches into my arms. I hold her tightly and whisper in her ear. "Sh, you're okay. It was just a dream. You're safe. Just relax."

I hold Catherine until she finally stops shaking. Gently letting her go, I help her lie back on the bed. I continue holding her hand reassuring her in soothing tones as she slowly begins to relax.

Embarrassed, Catherine says "I'm so sorry, Sara. It was just so real. I kept falling over and over again. Each time it was a different person letting go. First, it was my dad. Then, it was Eddie, and finally, Sam."

Sam? I thought Sam was her dad. Are there two Sams? Sam Braun?

Before I can ask for clarification, Lindsey comes bounding in the room. I let go of Catherine's hand and move out of the way to allow room for Lindsey to sit by her mother.

"Mom, I'm so glad you're home. Grandma was driving me nuts. Promise me you won't be like that when you get older."

Smiling, I sneak out leaving the two to visit. I walk into the den to find Nancy sitting on the couch.

"Hey Sara, how did the first day go? Is she driving you crazy yet?"

I ask "Who? Lily?"

Nancy laughs and says "No, I meant Catherine. I already know mother is going to drive you insane. Dad was the only one who could handle her."

Was? Could Sam Braun be Catherine's father? I think I'll do some investigating later, but first, I need to take advantage of Nancy's visit.

"Hey Nancy, would you mind staying with Catherine while I run to the grocery store? I didn't think about it last night and there are some items Catherine's kitchen lacks."

Nancy answers "Sure. I'm free for another hour. I don't have any plans until I have to pick up my son from his music lesson."

Relieved, I say "Great. I'll go make sure Catherine is okay and then I'll be on my way."

After checking in on Catherine and Lindsey, I leave to do a bit of grocery shopping. I hope I'm not stepping on Lily's toes, but I have to make sure there are things in the house I can eat.

I return within the hour and quickly unload the groceries. I make my way into Catherine's room to find both Lindsey and Nancy in bed with Catherine.

Nancy notices me first and gets up from the bed saying "Catherine, I will see you tomorrow. Be sure to behave. Linds, why don't you walk me out?"

The two depart as I move closer to the bed. Catherine's face is tight and drawn.

Concerned, I ask "Catherine, are you in pain? Do you need me to get your pain medicine?"

She attempts a smile, but it is obvious she is suffering. "Sara, I hate those damn pain pills. They make me loopy. I stopped taking them last night and I have been able to stand the discomfort. I guess I overdid it today because my leg and arm are constantly throbbing."

Smiling, I reply "Catherine, you did overdo it today and your nightmare probably put you over the top. Why don't I fix you something light to eat so you can take your pain medicine?"

She agrees as Lindsey returns. I ask Lindsey to keep her mom company while I prepare a light meal.

I decide on toast and tea and place the snack on a tray I found in the pantry. I rummage through Catherine's hospital bag to retrieve the pain meds. Good thing I prepared something for Catherine to eat since the directions indicate the meds are to be taken with food.

I return to the master bedroom to find Catherine alone. She says she sent Lindsey to her room to work on her homework.

I pull the overbed table top over and place the tray on top. What a handy device.

I help Catherine sit up and then move the tray closer. She must be in a great deal of pain because she hasn't said a word since I walked in the room.

Catherine eats most of her meal and then quickly downs her meds. I help her lie back on the bed and situate her leg in a comfortable position. I tell her to call me if she needs me as I leave the room.

I whip up a noodle dish casserole for Lindsey and me. We eat at the bar and discuss life at Hyde Park Middle School. As I clear the table, Lindsey asks if I can help her with her math homework. I tell her to go get her book and meet me in the den.

Lindsey is a very quick study. She is one of those kids who need to know the reason for learning different concepts. Once she realizes the importance, Lindsey focuses on the task at hand. She said her teacher always gives the reason "because it's in the book" or "because I said so."

We go over her entire homework assignment together. I check her work as she goes.

"Sara, I wish you were my math teacher. It's fun when you show me how to work problems. Do you think you can help me all the time?"

I immediately answer "Sure. I don't see why not." Then I remember Catherine so I quickly add "But we need to ask your mother."

Lindsey responds okay and begins to pack up her books. She tells me it's almost her bedtime so she better go take her bath. I remind her Nancy will pick her up for school in the morning since I need to stay with her mother. She bids me good night as she heads down the hall.

I straighten the den area and decide to check on Catherine. I tiptoe into her room and stand next to the bed. Her eyes are closed and she is lightly snoring. Well, not really snoring, just breathing deeply. I take advantage of her sleep to admire her beauty.

In her sleep, her face is relaxed and she appears to be so innocent. Catherine is truly stunning with flawless facial features from her forehead to her cheekbones to her nose and chin back to her kissable lips. I continue my scan to her breasts and flat stomach which I now have intimate knowledge of thanks to the hospital changing session.

I force my eyes to move back up her torso before they can venture to her pelvic region which I have a very brief knowledge of. As I make my way back to her face, I see those two beautiful blue eyes I have fallen in love with looking back at me. And then her lips move.

"Sara, were you just checking me out?"

Oh shit, I am so busted.

 

Part 9

"No!" …squeak… "I mean, no, I wasn't checking you out. I was monitoring your breathing to make sure you were resting comfortably and you weren't having any more bad dreams."

Stupid, Sara. What a lame excuse. Couldn't you come up with something better? Hell, you may have well shouted to the world 'Yes, Catherine. I'm a peeping Sara.'

Before Catherine can reply, I immediately try to change the subject. "How are you feeling now? Did the pain medication do the job?"

Catherine pauses before answering. Will she let me get away with the quick subject change or will she call me on the carpet for ogling her?

She responds "Yes, I do feel better but I'm a bit sluggish. I hope I don't have to take those meds very often. They make me want to sleep all the time. I feel like I could sleep for 12 more hours."

Whew, it looks like Catherine is going to let me off the hook this time or perhaps she is not alert enough to pick up on my attempt to hide my guilt. Regardless, I need to be very careful in the future.

Staying on the current track, I offer "I think the key is to take your meds before the pain gets too bad. We'll try half doses next time. Now, do you want to sleep in your t-shirt and sweats or do you want to change into something else?"

Please say you don't want to change. I really don't need the added visual right now.

My prayers are answered as she responds "I am very comfortable in what I have on. I think I'll sleep in the tee and sweats. Besides, I usually sleep in the nude and I don't think that would be such a good idea under the current circumstances."

No kidding. With my current state of libido, I don't think Catherine would appreciate it if I dropped her as I picked up her nude body to place in the wheelchair.

Keeping my voice neutral I respond "Okay. I'll turn off the lights so you can get back to sleep. I'll sleep on the couch tonight so I'll be nearby if you need me. I have the monitor set up in the den so use your personal pager if you need me."

As I turn to leave, Catherine asks "Sara, do you think you could turn the light on in the master bath? I don't think I'm quite ready to be in the dark yet."

Smiling, I answer "Sure. No problem." I move to the bathroom and turn on the light. I leave the door open a few inches to let light filter into the room.

I turn off the light in the bedroom saying "Good night, Catherine. Sweet dreams." She responds with a goodnight as I leave the room.

I change into a pair of boxers and a tank top. I decide to watch TV until it's time to retire. I settle in on the couch and turn the TV down low.

I idly flip through the channels searching for something to watch to get my mind off Catherine. I stop on "The Family Guy" and watch for a few minutes until the scene changes to Mr. Rogers of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood being depicted as a peeping Tom.

I immediately change the channel to one of the many crime shows. The crime gurus begin to investigate a peeping Tom who has escalated into breaking into women's apartments and terrorizing them.

When I flip over one more channel to find Alfred Hitchcock's "Rear Window," I turn the TV off and pick up my laptop. At least I will not find a reference to peeping in my case notes. Guilty much, Sara?

I work for a couple of hours when I hear Catherine's voice coming from the monitor. I close and save my file before going to check on Catherine.

"Hey, Cath. You need something?" I ask entering the bedroom.

She responds "Yes, I need to use the bathroom."

Oh boy, time for another round of the not-trying to peek routine. I turn on the light and move toward the bed. Pushing the wheel chair close, I lift Catherine and gently place her in the chair. I move to open the bathroom door before wheeling her in.

Two must be a charm for me as we flawlessly complete both the mount and dismount portions of the routine without a problem. I was even able to keep my focal points away from Catherine's privates.

As I place Catherine in the bed and move to turn out the lights, I hear "Sara, could I ask you for a really big favor?"

Let's see. What can possibly be bigger than our completed bathroom venture? I can't come up with anything worse at the current time so I answer "Sure, Catherine. What do you need?"

I am assuming she wants me to get her something to drink, read, or snack on. Instead she asks "Could you sleep in here with me? I keep having those bad dreams. I am waking up before calling out, but they still unnerve me to no end."

Sleep in the same room? Is she serious? How am I going to manage this? My mouth bypasses my brain and says "No problem. I'll go turn out the lights in the den."

I chastise myself all the way to the den and back. How could I have agreed to stay in the same room? I probably won't sleep a wink knowing Catherine is so close. I'll just have to sleep on the floor.

I return to the room and take the blanket off the chest at the end of the bed. I make a pallet on the floor and move to get a pillow off the bed while Catherine intently watches me.

As I switch off the light in the room, Catherine quietly asks "Sara, could you sleep in my bed?"

 

Part 10

I am thankful for the darkness in the room as I visibly cringe in response to Catherine's question. How in the world can I turn down her request? It had to have taken a great deal of courage to ask this of me and her voice sounds so meek and mild. I truly believe she is afraid to sleep alone.

I move toward the bed saying "I am a restless sleeper on occasion. What if I accidentally hit your arm or leg in my sleep?"

"Please, Sara. I know you would never hurt me even on accident. I just want to be able to sleep without having those dreams. I believe you can keep them away."

Well crap. I can't believe she has such faith in my abilities. If she only knew how my own demons haunt me in sleep, she wouldn't be so confident in my power to keep her nightmares away.

I walk to the other side of the bed and climb in. "Just relax, Catherine. Try to get some sleep. I'll be right here if you need me."

"Thank you, Sara. I feel safer with you here beside me. Good night."

I find myself hugging the edge of the bed. There is no way I will get any sleep tonight.

After several hours, I relax enough to move away from the edge. Catherine has been sleeping soundly the entire time. I guess somehow I am keeping her nightmares at bay. As I reflect over the past 24 hours, I feel myself drifting into sleep.

I awake to the early morning light filtering in through the window. I lift my head to glance at the clock to see 6:30 a.m. I can't remember the last time I've slept four straight hours without waking. It feels nice lying here with Catherine and holding her hand.

Holding her hand! How the hell did that happen? Catherine will knock me in the head with her cast if she finds me holding her hand. I carefully try to disentangle my hand from Catherine without waking her. As I finally get my hand clear of hers, I hear "Sara?"

Nervously, I reply "Good morning, Catherine. How did you sleep?"

She groggily replies "Wonderful. I didn't have one nightmare. You're better than my old teddy bear."

Great, a life-size teddy bear replacement, just what I always wanted to be. Before I can reply, my attention shifts to a knock at the door and Lindsey's voice as she enters the room. "Mom, are you awake?"

Oh my God, Lindsey is in the room. She's going to find me in bed with her mother.

As I am having my panic attack, Catherine answers "Hey, baby. Come over here and give your mom a good morning hug."

I lie as still as possible. Maybe she won't notice me. My plan is immediately foiled as Lindsey says "Hi, Sara. What are you doing sleeping in mom's bed?"

Cause is was just right jumps into my head. Wonderful, now I'm channeling "Goldilocks and the Three Bears." What is it with bears this morning?

Catherine saves me as she answers "I was having trouble sleeping and Sara kept away the bad dreams."

Lindsey snorts saying "That's the same excuse you used to give me when Beth would sleep over."

Catherine replies "Now don't get smart, young lady. You know Beth was my lover. I only used that excuse for her benefit. She didn't want you to think of us as anything but friends. Sara really is keeping my nightmares away."

Whoa, back up. Beth? Catherine had a female lover? I'm glad I am already lying down because this news would most definitely put me on the floor as images of Catherine and another woman flood my already overcrowded brain.

The visuals are abruptly brought to an end as Catherine says "Sara, do you think you could prepare something for Lindsey's breakfast? She's had cereal the past two mornings and I'd like for her to have something a bit more substantial."

At last, the perfect reason for my escape. I rise from the bed and move toward the door. "Not a problem, Catherine. Lindsey, how do you feel about pancakes?"

I receive my answer in the form of a hug and a squeal. "Pancakes are my absolute favorite. Thanks, Sara. I'll run get dressed and meet you in the kitchen." We both leave the room to the sound of Catherine's laughter.

Alone in the kitchen, I organize the pancake ingredients and locate the griddle. As I begin to pour the first batch onto the hot griddle, my brain jumps back to the earlier conversation between Catherine and Lindsey.

So Catherine is bisexual. I would have never in a million years pegged her as anything but pure heterosexual. She has every man she comes in contact with eating out of her hand. I have never noticed any sign of flirting or interest in any of the women Catherine works with or interviews.

Lindsey comes bouncing into the kitchen as I remove the second batch from the griddle. I turn off the stove and place the pancakes on the table. She retrieves a plate and silverware and begins to attack her breakfast.

Laughing, I say "Hey, Lindsey. Slow down. They're not going anywhere."

She swallows and apologizes for her bad table manners. "It's just that I don't get pancakes very often and these are especially good. What did you do different?"

I pour Lindsey a glass of orange juice and reply "I mixed the ingredients together and cooked them on the griddle. I didn't do anything special."

"They taste way better than when mom and grandma make them. Did you maybe use a different brand?"

Brand? Oh, I get it. "I didn't use a box mix. I made these from scratch."

Lindsey answers "Mom is going to love you. She hates the box mix and says it's too much trouble to make them. When she gets a craving, she always goes to the diner."

Maybe I can get to Catherine through her stomach. She does have that magnet on the fridge that says "The way to a woman's heart is through the doors of a good restaurant." Since she won't be able to frequent any diners or restaurants in the next few weeks, I will have some time to woo her with food.

Get a grip, Sidle. There will be no wooing in this house. You will get Catherine through this and be on your way. She is not interested in you. Be thankful if you come out of this as friends.

Lindsey gets up from the table and rinses her dishes in the sink. She notices the time and says she better hurry or she won't be ready when Nancy comes to get her. She thanks me once again and kisses me on the cheek. On her way out she says "I really like you, Sara. I wish you were Mom's girlfriend then you could stay here all the time."

Me too, Linds. Me too.

 

Part 11

I see Lindsey off and go to check on Catherine. She is awake and very happy to see me. My hopes are dashed as the reason for her joy becomes apparent when she asks me to take her to the bathroom.

As I begin to wheel her back toward the bed from the master bath, Catherine asks if I could take her to the den. I make the detour down the hall and ask if she would like to have some breakfast. Her stomach growls making us both laugh as I push her into the kitchen.

Placing the wheel chair next to the table, I walk to the stove to heat up the griddle. Catherine watches me closely. She opens her mouth to say something but decides to remain quiet.

I know exactly what she is thinking. She doesn't want pancakes from a box, but she is willing to sacrifice to keep from hurting my feelings. I can't wait to see the expression on her face when she takes her first bite.

I pour her a cup of coffee and add the sweetener. She smiles broadly as I place the cup in front of her. Little does she know I had Greg get me some his precious French vanilla coffee. I had my first cup this morning as I was making Lindsey's pancakes and have to admit it was difficult not to drink the entire pot.

The moans Catherine emit as she takes her first sip sound quite erotic. I have to grip the handle of the spatula to keep from dropping it on the floor. "Sara, if you are guilty of stealing some of Greg's precious coffee, I will give you the perfect alibi as long as there is more."

I laugh as I flip the pancakes. "No need for you to lie. Greg willing gave me some of his stash. It's his way of helping you get better soon."

I set the table and put the pancakes in the middle. Catherine stares at them before putting one on her plate. I guess this is her test pancake. I place the butter and syrup next to her. She slathers both on top. How she'll ever taste the pancake with all that syrup is a mystery to me.

I watch Catherine with my peripheral vision as I remove the last batch from the griddle. She cuts a small piece and gingerly puts it in her mouth. As she begins to chew, a smile crosses her face and she reaches to pile more pancakes on her plate.

I sit directly across the table from Catherine. She has the most pleased expression on her face as she savors both the pancakes and coffee. I grin and begin to eat.

As I take my last bite, Catherine finishes as well. The only difference is the amount of food we have both consumed. Where in the world does she put it?

After a few minutes, Catherine finally speaks. "Sara, those were the best pancakes I have ever eaten. We are definitely going to have to limit the number of times you make them while you are here. Otherwise, I will be as big as a house and you will never be able to lift me in and out of this chair."

I clear the table as I add "Well, you certainly have a hardy appetite when it comes to pancakes. I'll be sure to make this breakfast as a once a week treat instead of a daily ritual."

I rinse off the dishes and push Catherine into the den. She picks up the remote and begins to channel surf. I ask her if she will be okay while I take a quick shower. She nods her head yes as I take my leave.

When I return, Catherine is absorbed in an episode of "The L-Word." She must be watching a tape because there is no way this show is on this early in the morning. I step closer to see Moira or rather Max getting it on with Jenny. Catherine notices me standing next to her and immediately hits the stop button.

Silence prevails for several minutes before Catherine stutters a response. "Er, um, I tape this show and watch it when Lindsey is away. I didn't get a chance to remove the tape from the machine because of the accident. I forgot to tape it on Sunday and remembered to tape the encore on Monday night. Then, of course, I was injured on Monday's shift and had forgotten all about the tape. I am so thankful all of Lindsey's movies are DVDs. And heaven forbid if my mother accidentally hit play on the VCR."

Catherine finishes her rambling and looks guiltily at me for a response. I guess if she can let me get by with checking her out, I can return the favor by pretending she is not interested in a lesbian centered show. Besides, there is an even more awkward situation we still have to tackle this morning.

"Catherine, I think we should probably talk about how we're going to manage the bathing routine each day. Today's a good day to work out any problems since we're both well rested and have plenty of time to work out the kinks."

Catherine readily agrees as I eject the tape from the VCR and place it in her lap. She has me wheel her to the nightstand in her room where she places the tape before we move to the bathroom. I place the bath bench in the tub and survey the setup. I should be able to place Catherine facing forward in the tub. Her left leg and arm will be facing the outside of the tub and the faucet will be located directly in front of her.

I retrieve the hose and spray nozzle and connect it to the overhead shower. The hose is extra long so it will reach well past the middle of the tub. I also affix another grab bar to the tile where Catherine can reach it while sitting on the bench.

Catherine has been busy processing as well. She has suggesting using garbage bags to cover her leg and arm casts. I compliment her on the idea and leave to get the items.

I return with a large and medium trash bag. I also bring some duct tape and string. My first thought was to place the bag on the affected limb and fasten the top using tape; however, I don't believe the tape alone will hold so I'm going to tie a string just below the tape line.

The main problem for me is Catherine will have to disrobe before the bags can be placed over her arm and leg. She has already picked up on the need to undress as she begins to remove her top, the top which has no bra underneath.

Catherine manages to slip her good arm through the arm hole and then lifts the shirt over her head where it now lies loosely around her casted arm. She smoothly removes the shirt from the end of her cast. Catherine seems quite proud of her accomplishment. I would be too under different circumstances.

Okay, Sidle, time to buck up and get this over with. "Nice job, Catherine. Now let's wheel you over here and get started on this bath."

I help Catherine stand while she removes her sweats and underwear. I take deep breaths and keep my eyes away from her midline. She sits back down as I begin the task of covering her arm and leg with the bags.

I think this is going to actually work. I lift Catherine's nude body out of the chair and gently place her on the bath bench. I place her leg on the edge of the tub and hold her arm up with my hand.

It immediately becomes apparent what my job will be. I will have to act as the "balancer" and I must admit to being a bit relieved. I don't think I could survive the "washer" part of this plan.

 

Part 12

We make it through the bathing process with no problem except for my temporary tunnel vision. I can describe the exact pattern in Catherine's tile. In fact, I could probably draw it from memory.

Catherine is able to dry her front and she holds onto the bar as I dry her back. I quickly place a towel in her chair before lifting her up from the bench and setting her down in the wheelchair. I dry off her right leg and then remove the bags from her casts. I place the bags over the shower rod to reuse the next day.

I go to retrieve a new shirt and sweats while Catherine dries off her intimate areas. We put her shirt back on together and I pull her underwear and sweats to her knees. I help her stand and she pulls them the rest of the way as I remove the towel. We have completed the entire routine with very few words.

I bring her back into the den and hand her the remote. I tell her I am going to rest for a little while and to call me if she needs me. I make sure to take the monitor with me to the master bedroom.

As I lie in the bed, I can understand the need for a cathartic scream. Having all this stress and emotion buried deep inside me is going to do me in not to mention touching a naked Catherine on a daily basis. At least going to work will get my mind off my turmoil.

I finally fall into a fitful sleep awakening much later in a cold sweat. Shit, the old dreams have come back with a vengeance. I should have known better than to fall asleep in the state I was in. Stress always triggers the memory of my father's death at my mother's hands and this one was especially graphic.

I wipe the sweat from my brow and glance to the clock on the bedside table. 1:00 p.m. Wow, I had quite the nap. I may as well get up because there is no way I want to return to those visions.

As I sit up, I notice a very concerned Catherine sitting in the doorway watching me. How did she get there, and better yet, how long as she been there?

"Sara, are you okay? You were calling out in your sleep for someone to help you."

Damn it. This is not what I need right now. "Yeah, I'm fine Catherine. I have a bit of a problem with nightmares as well. Now, missy, how did you get down that hall?"

Catherine pushes herself slowly into the room using her right hand. I guess that answers my question. "Sara, you were not having a nightmare. You were having a flashback of some kind."

Shit, how do I get out of this? Maybe I can try to postpone this discussion. "Catherine, I would rather not discuss this if you don't mind. I apologize for disturbing you, but really, I'm fine. I was just overtired." Please drop this, please.

She bites her lower lip and then says "You didn't disturb me, Sara. I was worried about you. It took me 15 minutes to get down the damn hall. I felt so bad that I couldn't get to you in time to help you."

Okay, time to nip this subject in the bud. "Thank you for trying, Catherine, but you need to be careful wheeling yourself around. If you bump your leg into the wall, you will be in for a world of hurt." Needing to move to safer ground, I add "What do you say we go sit outside? It's a beautiful day and I bet you're tired of being cooped up in the house."

I get the famous "this is not over" look but Catherine agrees to go out. I knew she wouldn't be able to resist a little time in the sun.

We head outdoors as soon as I retrieve Catherine's sunglasses from her purse. I wheel her out to the table by the pool and set the brakes on the wheelchair. I don't want her accidentally rolling into the pool while I go back inside to get us something to drink.

Upon my return, we sit quietly basking in the sun sipping on our lemonade. I close my eyes and feel completely at ease out here with Catherine. Until…

"Sara, I want to talk to you about something." I start to protest but Catherine assures me it is not about my nightmare. I nod my head for her to continue.

"I guess you have figured out that I'm bisexual by now and I think we should talk about your feelings on the subject. If you are uncomfortable with this knowledge, you need to let me know. I won't hold you to your agreement to look after me. If you want out, say the word. I just ask that you keep my lifestyle to yourself. No one else at work knows. Not even Gil. If I were to ever get serious with a female partner, I would definitely tell them. Right now, I don't think it's anyone's business whom I choose to date."

Catherine must truly trust me to confirm her sexual preferences. If she only knew how many secrets I possess. Should I confide in her about being gay? It would only be like a tit for tat exchange.

I must take too long to respond as she adds "Don't worry about it. I can call the local home health care facility and apply for medical assistance. If you can stay until they can send someone out, I would really appreciate it."

"No, no, no. You didn't give me time to respond. I don't care that you are bisexual. It would be hypocritical of me if it did." Okay Sara, it's time to come clean. "I'm gay, Catherine. So the ball is in your court so to speak. You need to decide if my being here is going to make you uncomfortable."

Catherine is completely taken back by my statement. "Sara, how can you be gay? You had that thing for Gil and what about Hank?"

Why can't Catherine ever accept things at face value? I guess that's why she's such a good criminalist. She always questions things. Just this once, I wish she would process internally instead of externally.

Sighing, I answer "In San Francisco, being gay in the work place was not uncommon.

I wasn't sure how my sexual preference would be perceived in Vegas. I thought things would be easier if I were seen in the company of men. Grissom was an easy mark. We were already friends and I knew nothing would come from a relationship with him. When he didn't show any interest, I hooked up with Hank. He seemed to be a nice guy and I should have realized something was up when he wasn't in the least bit upset I wouldn't go to bed with him. I had a better time with you when we went out for a beer after the so-called breakup than I had on any of my dates with Hank."

Catherine takes a few minutes to respond. After all, I gave her quite a bit of information to absorb. I watch as her facial expression changes from disbelief to confusion to finally realization.

With a smile on her face, she says "Damn, Sara. If I had known I had a shot at you, I would never have gone after Beth."

I sit back in my chair stunned by Catherine's revelation.

 

Part 13

Recovering from the shock of Catherine's statement, I open my mouth to find out exactly what she meant when I hear Lily's voice behind me. "Catherine, what are you doing out in the sun? You are going to get a heat stroke. I can't leave you along for a minute, and you, Sara. You're supposed to be taking care of Catherine, not endangering her health. It's a good thing I decided to drop by on my way home. Now, let's get you back inside."

Before I can respond to Lily's accusations, Catherine is being wheeled back toward the house. Judging from the tone of Catherine's snappy comeback, she is not pleased with Lily or her impromptu visit. I listen until her voice fades. "Mother, stop this chair right now. I don't want to go back inside. And don't you dare attack Sara. She is a wonderful help to me and where do you……"

I decide not to follow so that I can think things through. Catherine can handle her mother and I need some time alone to think. It is apparent that neither Catherine nor I have a problem with each other's sexual preferences so I'm assuming I will be staying on to help.

Was Catherine serious about her desire to go out with me or was she trying for a little humor to lighten the conversation? With Lily here, I won't be able to ask about her intent, but it's probably just as well. In fact, I think the subject should be dropped all together. Catherine and I are getting along fairly well and we don't need to be uncomfortable around each other for the remainder of her recovery time.

I pick up our glasses and head back to the house. Catherine is sitting dejectedly at the table while Lily prepares a sandwich of some kind. I rinse the glasses and place them in the dishwasher.

The silence in the room is deafening. I believe I have may have interrupted a conversation intended for only the two of them. I walk by Catherine and lightly squeeze her shoulder as I leave the room.

A trip down the road to that new diner seems like a great idea. I leave the house and drive to the diner. Ordering a salad and coffee, I pick up the local newspaper and wait for my meal. I think an hour should be sufficient time for Catherine and Lily to work out their differences.

I return to Catherine's to find Lindsey and Lily in the den watching TV. I inquire as to Catherine's whereabouts. Lily totally ignores me, but Lindsey tells me she's in her bedroom. I quickly stride down the hall to make sure she's okay.

Catherine is sitting in front of the window looking out. She looks so sad and lonely. I move to the chair and kneel down next to her. "Catherine, what's going on? Your mom won't speak to me and you look like you've lost your best friend?"

She looks me in the eye and asks "Have I?"

Confused, I answer "Have you what?"

With tears in her eyes, Catherine says "Lost you. You left and I didn't know where you had gone. I didn't know for certain if you were coming back. I'm sorry my mother accused you of not caring for me properly. I hope you don't let her influence you into not staying. I trust you and I need you, Sara. Please don't go."

I gently reach out and hug Catherine saying "I'm not going anywhere. I thought you might need some time alone with your mom to sort things out. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was leaving. I didn't want to add any fuel to the fire because I'm sure my departure was welcomed by your mother."

Catherine answers "Actually, mother likes you. The reason she didn't speak to you is because she is feeling guilty. That's the only time she's ever quiet. Maybe you can figure out a way to make her feel guilty more often."

We both laugh as I pull away. "Okay, now we have all this settled. How are you doing in the 'have to go to the bathroom' department?"

Catherine turns red but says "I drank two glasses of water with the sandwich mother made me eat if that answers your question." I smile as I push her toward the master bath.

It's finally time to leave for work after a productive evening for us all. I assisted Lindsey with some of her math homework and Lily has apologized for earlier and has started speaking to me again—at length.

I place Catherine into her bed and place her book and glasses on her right side so she can get to them easily. Lily will come in later to check on her, turn off the light, and help her with the bedpan if the need arises. I think Catherine is worried that she will have to use the bedpan before I can get home because she hasn't had anything to drink since 6:00 p.m. I bid Catherine and Lily goodnight and leave the house. For the first time in a very long time, I don't want to go to work. I want to stay with Catherine.

Work is unusually slow tonight. Only two cases so far and Grissom has assigned Nick to one and Warrick to another. Grissom called me in his office at the beginning of the shift to tell me he was going to keep my work load light this week. I think he almost had a heart attack when I smiled and thanked him.

Around 4:30 a.m., things are almost at a stand still. Grissom finds me in my lab and tells me to call it a night. He says he'll call if some emergency comes up. I quickly leave before he changes his mind.

I let myself in Catherine's house and tiptoe past the den where Lily is sleeping. I feel my way down the hall and quietly move into the master bedroom. Changing into my boxers and a tank from my duffle bag, I place a blanket on the floor and start toward the bed to retrieve a pillow.

As I near the bed, Catherine begins to whimper in her sleep. I crawl into the bed and gently take her hand. I whisper to her that everything is okay. She grasps my hand tightly and pulls it to her chest.

After a few minutes, Catherine has settled down. I try to untangle our hands without success. Every time I pull away, Catherine begins to whimper again. Finally, I give up and lie down beside her. I fall asleep almost immediately.

I awaken to my name being called. I open my eyes to see Catherine smiling and saying "Good morning. What time did you get in?"

Smiling back, I describe the night's events. Catherine is glad I will be working light shifts and will be available if she were to need me. I get up and move around the bed to begin our morning routine. As I lift Catherine up to place her in the chair, I almost drop her when she says "Sara, I like waking up next to you in the morning."

 

Part 14

Adjusting my grip, I lean down and place Catherine in the chair. As I begin to stand, Catherine reaches up and pulls me back down until we are face to face. "Sara, I didn't mean to embarrass you, but I meant what I said. I feel safe with you. I always have."

She then leans forward and gently kisses my lips. Pulling away, she says "No pressure. I just want to get to know you. Now, will you please push me to the toilet before I have an accident?" Smiling, I stand and wheel her into the master bath.

Two week pass with me coming in early from work and sleeping with Catherine. She always seems to know when I climb into bed as she reaches for me each time. We have exchanged a few sweet kisses on occasion, but we never go any further.

Catherine has even taken to lying down with me when I need to get some sleep during the day. She usually reads a book or listens to her iPod while I rest. When she's with me, I never have any of the old nightmares instead I dream of her.

We have not actually talked about what is going on between us. Instead we just live day to day getting to know each other and becoming closer. I am dreading the day Catherine gets her walking cast on. There will be no reason for me to stay with her if she is mobile.

On a Tuesday afternoon as Catherine and I are watching TV in the den, Lily enters from the kitchen. "That was the doctor's office on the phone. He wants you to come in tomorrow instead of next Monday. There is some sort of conflict with his surgery calendar. By the way Catherine, I talked to the nurse while you were still in the hospital. Dr. Waters is recently divorced and he is a nice looking man. You should ask him out sometime."

I stifle a laugh as Catherine answers "Mother, please. He's my doctor and I am not the least bit interested in dating him. Besides, he is closer to your age. Why don't you ask him out?" I excuse myself and leave the room before I burst out laughing.

Grissom calls about thirty minutes before I leave for work telling me to stay home tonight. It seems someone from the swing shift wants to work a double to make up for being out the night before. Grissom has agreed to the request mainly because of all the overtime I have amassed the past two months.

I am both excited and nervous. This is the first time I will be spending the entire night with Catherine except of course for her first night home from the hospital. I usually work six days with the following two days off during my normal shift hours, but since I've been working light shifts I have been going in every night.

I walk back to the den to inform Catherine and Lily of the news. Lily immediately expresses her concerns about the sleeping arrangements. She is totally unaware of my sneaking in during the early mornings and sleeping with Catherine. She is under the impression I am still working my usual shift hours.

As I prepare my response to Lily's uncertainties, she says "Sara, this gives you the opportunity to go home and sleep. Nothing compares to a good night's rest in your own bed. You could come back in the morning like you usually do."

Problem is I never get a good night's rest in my apartment, but how am I going to contest her logic? It makes perfect sense for me to sleep in my own bed. I can't very well tell her that I'd rather sleep with her daughter.

Resigned to my fate, I answer "You're right, Lily. I'll get my things and go after I put Catherine in the bed." I immediately move toward Catherine to wheel her to the bedroom. As I start to turn her chair around, she puts her right hand on the wheel stopping the progress.

"Wait just a damn minute. Mother, Sara is not going anywhere. She is staying in this house and will sleep in my bedroom. It's too late for her to be traipsing around the city."

Lily is not pleased with Catherine's solution as she says "Catherine, Sara is a big girl. She is used to traveling around the city at all hours of the night. It's not very charitable of you to expect her to sleep on the floor when she can be sleeping in her own bed."

I take this as my cue to leave, but I am stopped by Catherine's hand on my arm. She moves her hand down to mine and interlaces our fingers bringing me around to her right side. Crap, now I'm going to become the ball in another one of their tennis matches.

Catherine responds "Sara won't be sleeping on the floor. She will sleep in my bed."

Thanks, Catherine. Lob me up for an overhead smash. I tighten my grip on Catherine's hand waiting for Lily's retort.

I don't have long to wait as Lily replies "Don't be silly, Catherine. Sara won't be comfortable in your bed. You take up almost the entire space with your casts."

Oh Lily, if you only knew how small a space I need if the end result is to share the same bed with Catherine. I think I could manage in a twin bed if need be.

I look down at Catherine to see fire coming out of those beautiful blue orbs followed by a smirk. Uh oh, this is not a good sign. This particular smirk is the signal that Catherine is about to offer some earth shattering statement.

"For you information, Mother, Sara and I have been sleeping together for the past two weeks. She has been getting off work hours before the end of shift and she crawls into bed with me to sleep until it's time to get you and Lindsey up. We sleep quite comfortably together."

Stop the presses. Lily is completely speechless. She opens and closes her mouth several times as she stares at the two of us. As her eyes drift to our joined hands, her speaking ability returns. "What exactly do you mean by sleeping together?"

Catherine throws her head back and laughs. I, on the other hand, have apparently missed a very good punch line. Lily and I both look at Catherine with matching confused expressions.

Catherine recovers from her laughing jag long enough to respond "I mean sleep, Mother. In case you haven't noticed, I have a left leg and arm in a cast. I don't want to be incapacitated in any shape or form when Sara and I make love for the first time."

Lily faints and I stand there giving my best impression of a deer caught in the headlights.

 

Part 15

I am pulled from my stupor by Catherine squeezing my hand and calling my name. "Sara, hey. Sara, look at me. Sara!"

I look in Catherine's eyes with my wide eyed ones and stutter "Yes?"

She smiles saying "Could you check on mother before she falls out of the chair and hurts herself?"

I immediately rush to Lily's side catching her just as she is about to topple over. I gently place her back into the chair as she begins to come around. She looks at me totally confused.

I pull back saying "Welcome back, Lily. Why don't I go get you a glass of water? I'll be right back." I quickly make my escape as Catherine begins to offer an apology for causing such a stir.

In the kitchen, I mentally review the last few minutes. What the hell is going on here? Did Catherine really mean what she said or was she trying to shock her mother? I don't think I've ever felt so off center in my entire life.

I pull myself together as I get Lily's water and return to the den. It sure is awfully quiet in here. I wonder if that's a good or bad sign of things to come.

I hand Lily the water and move back beside Catherine. She immediately reaches down and takes my hand. "Mother, it's late. Why don't we all go to bed and talk about this in the morning?"

Lily, still quite pale and flustered, readily agrees as I release Catherine's hand. Turning, I push her down the hall and into the master bath where we silently go through our nightly ritual.

I place Catherine in the bed and am kept from standing by Catherine's arm around my neck. I am forced to look into her eyes where I see a little of everything. Confusion, caring, sadness, hurt, and, could it be, love?

"Sara, have I ruined things between us? I'm not going to apologize for what I said to mother because I meant it. I will apologize for the timing. Telling my mother about my feelings for you before I've said anything to you was a huge mistake. She just gets me so mad that my mouth takes over. I'm sorry if I embarrassed you or if I'm moving too fast."

Smiling, I respond "Catherine you didn't embarrass me. Shocked me to the core yes, but embarrassed no. I would have preferred to have been in a one on one setting when we discussed our feelings, but I am overjoyed to know your feelings for me are the same as the ones I have for you."

I place my hand on her face as I lower my lips to hers. The kiss begins as our others have. Slow and sweet, but quickly escalates as Catherine pushes her tongue into my mouth. I suck on her tongue gently as she moans into my mouth. I force myself to keep my hands from roaming as I make the supreme effort of slowing the intensity of the kiss. I pull back from Catherine and rest my forehead on hers.

After several minutes, our breathing has returned to some semblance of normal. Catherine releases my neck and I am able to stand, barely. "Damn, Sara. You are one hell of a kisser. If this is an indication of what is to come, I can hardly wait to get these casts off."

What is to come? Oh, what a choice of words. Instead I respond "Me either, Catherine, me either. For right now, I think we need to keep things in check. I don't know how many more of those heated kisses I can stand before moving forward and I don't want to do anything that might hurt you. Now, the sooner we get to sleep, the sooner we can find out what the doctor has to say tomorrow." As if I can get to sleep with my lower extremities clamoring for attention.

I turn out the light and crawl into bed turning on my side with my back to Catherine. Let's see if the old 'out of sight, out of mind' adage really works.

After about an hour, I am lying on my back with Catherine's hand in mine. She fell asleep within five minutes and immediately began to seek me out. The least I could do was to accommodate her need especially when she was groping my ass.

My libido has calmed somewhat. I think picturing Hodges in his underwear did the trick. Good thing because the next trick was to imagine Hodges and Ecklie together. Ewww.

Now, if I could just get my mind to shut down, but I can't get Lily's reaction out of my head. Why would she faint? Does the thought of Catherine and me together bother her so much? It's almost as if she didn't know Catherine was bisexual. How can that be? Lindsey knows. Arggg. I have to get some sleep.

A few hours later, I finally fall into a fitful sleep and have the most bizarre dream. Catherine and I are dancing together in some nightclub. I am dressed entirely in leather and she in lace. Ecklie and Hodges are dancing together to our left and Lily and Sam Braun to our right. Catherine and I begin to passionately kiss as Lily leads Sam over to us. Sam pulls out a gun and shoots me directly in the chest. Catherine screams and Lily applauds. I immediately sit up on the bed gasping for air. .

Catherine awakens and begins to lightly rub my back. She whispers "Sara, what's wrong? Are you okay?" I can't find my voice to answer and Catherine is beginning to get frantic as she says "C'mere baby, and let me hold you."

I immediately lie with my head on Catherine's chest. She pulls me close and continues to rub my back and soothe me with her voice. Holy shit, that dream felt real. I could even feel the bullet pierce my chest.

I finally calm down enough to describe my dream to Catherine. She laughs when I tell her about Hodges and Ecklie dancing, but her body immediately tenses up at the mention of Sam Braun. She pulls me even closer when I tell her of the shooting.

 

Part 16

We lie in silence for several moments before Catherine asks in a shaky voice, "Sara, why do you think you dreamt of Sam Braun? You haven't met him have you?"

Ah, the moment of truth. How should I handle this? Should I pretend I don't have my suspicions or let Catherine in on my thoughts?

I decide to be as truthful as possible. I don't want a relationship with Catherine built on lies. "Catherine, when you were first injured, your mother said something about Sam paying for your care. At the time, I didn't have any idea who she was talking about. I figured Sam was your father and you two had a falling out. Then you had that dream where you were falling and Eddie, your dad, and Sam always let go. Later, Nancy mentioned your father in the past tense as if he were deceased. I had my suspicions then that Sam Braun may be your dad. Since I'm also worried about Lily's reaction to your statement earlier tonight, I guess my subconscious got away with me when I was dreaming."

Catherine has remained silent during my explanation, but she has tightened her hold on me. Finally after several minutes she says "You're right, Sara. Sam Braun is my father. I found out when we were investigating the robbery of the bank where Detective Lockwood was killed. I compromised the case when I ran a DNA sample against my own. Hell of a way to find out about your parentage. I wanted as few people as possible to know so I worked very hard at keeping it quiet."

In a soft voice, she continues "I am slowly coming to terms with him. Mom has been dating him again and Lindsey wants to get to know her grandfather. I just don't want to be in debt to him for anything and I don't want him to become involved in the way I live my life. He may be my father, but he's still a very dangerous man, Sara."

And what would he do if he found out his little girl was involved with me, especially if Lily is not happy with the arrangement? Could my dream be some sort of premonition? I'm sure he still has mafia ties and could easily have me disappear. I bet Catherine and Grissom would never be able to find me.

Shit, Sidle. Get a hold of yourself. Paranoid, much? I'm sure Jimmy Hoffa wasn't anywhere near Vegas when he fell off the face of the earth.

Catherine moves her hand to lightly stroke my hair. "Hey, what's going on in that overactive brain of yours? If you're worried about Sam, don't. He's aware of my bisexuality and doesn't have a problem with it. Of course, I did tell him if he ever came between me and a female lover, I would make sure he never had any contact with me or Lindsey ever again."

I start to respond but am stopped as Catherine continues "Now, as for mother. She chooses not to believe I could have a relationship with another woman. She thinks Beth was a really good friend who just happened to sleep over on occasion. I actually have never come out and told her until today in my round about way."

I snort a laugh before responding "Round about way, Catherine? The woman fainted dead away at the thought of the two of us making love. Don't you think you could have been a little more subtle?"

Catherine sighs and with a sad voice says "You're right. I shouldn't have been so direct. She has a knack for pushing all my buttons and the next thing I know I am spouting off all kinds of inappropriate things. You've been around her long enough to know how she is. Mother could make a monk break his vow of silence just to tell her off."

I sit up and face Catherine. "Catherine, she's your mother. Her job is to drive you crazy. Be thankful that she loves you enough to get under your skin. Some mothers don't care at all what happens to their child." And I definitely know about that. "Now, enough of this, it's time to get up and face the music. I'll go wake Lindsey and then come back to get you. We can wake your mother together."

I lightly kiss Catherine and jump up to head for Lindsey's room. I hope I can maintain this bravado when we face Lily. In the meantime, I get to wake up an extremely non-morning little person.

After several attempts, I succeed in getting Lindsey out of the bed. I return for Catherine and we complete our morning ritual like clockwork. I wheel Catherine into the kitchen. We decide a cup of Greg's famous brew would make a nice peace offering for Lily.

We make the ultimate sacrifice of pouring Lily the first cup. Catherine holds the mug while I push her into the den. Coffee in bed would certainly put me in a better mood to start the day.

I wheel Catherine over to the couch where we both stare at the sight that greets us. Lily is gone and a note is lying on the middle cushion.

I finally move to the paper, pick it up, and hand it to Catherine. She sits there staring at it but not reading. Her hand begins to shake and tears begin to fall. I kneel next to her and gently take her in my arms. She silently cries into my shoulder.

Using a soothing voice, I say "Hey, c'mon now. It's going to be okay. You haven't even read the note yet. Maybe she had some early morning appointment and didn't get a chance to tell us last night."

She pulls back from me and places her hand on my cheek. "Thanks, Sara. I know you are trying to help, but we both know what the note will say. She can't accept us."

I lift Catherine from the chair and place her on the couch with her casts toward the inside. I kneel next to her and take her hand. She hands me the note and I begin to read aloud.

My dearest Catherine,

I love you with all my heart and I am trying to accept your relationship with Sara, but you must understand this is very hard for me. Being in a relationship with a woman is very difficult and it is not a life I want for you. People can be so cruel and discriminating. There are so many factors to consider. How will people at work treat you? Will you be able to work together on the same shift? How will you be looked upon by others when you go out in public together? And what about Lindsey? How will this affect her?

Oh, Catherine. I only want the best for you, and if Sara is who you want, I will try my best to accept your relationship. I like Sara, I really do. She truly is a good person. I would like to sit down with the two of you tonight and discuss things. I just need a little time to myself to work things out.

Love,

Mother

P. S. Don't forget about your doctor's appointment.

 

Part 17

Lily's letter has Catherine both hopeful and worried at the same time. I try to reassure her by pointing out Lily is trying to come to terms with things. Catherine promises to try not to dwell on the 'what ifs' for now.

I push Catherine to the table in the kitchen and pour her coffee. I decide to make pancakes this morning to try to cheer her up. Lindsey comes strolling in and immediately lights up when she sees the griddle on the stove. At least I am making one Willows happy this morning.

Lindsey provides the topic of conversation at breakfast. Who knew so much could take place at a middle school? It's like a mini soap opera.

Nancy comes in just as we are finishing our meal. Lindsey races out to brush her teeth and get her book bag. I quickly rinse the dishes and excuse myself to ready the bath area for Catherine leaving the two sisters alone to hopefully discuss their mother.

As I am getting the towels out of the linen closet, Nancy pushes Catherine into the room. She gives me a wink and bids us goodbye. I kneel next to Catherine and push the hair from her eyes. "Hey, beautiful. How about getting ready for your doctor's appointment? We could visit Starbucks and sit out in the atrium of the hospital while we wait. It will get you out of the house for awhile."

Catherine quietly agrees and we begin our bathing routine. I talk about anything and everything with the exception of Lily to try to get Catherine out of her funk. I also believe Catherine is a little nervous about her doctor's visit today. That makes two of us.

Finding a corner table in the atrium area, I push Catherine to the table and take the seat across from her. We have pretty much covered all the small talk on our ride over so we just sit in silence.

As I get up to dispose of our paper cups, Catherine evidently decides it's time to discuss a few things. "Sara, how would you like to continue our relationship? I mean, do we go out on dates? Have family outings? Do we try to keep things a secret or should we tell the team?"

Damn. When Catherine broaches a subject, she jumps in with both feet. No wonder she has been so quiet. She's had all this stuff bottled inside.

I make an attempt to answer. "Well, I think we should go out to the movies and maybe dinner sometime, but I would like to include Lindsey in some of our outings. As far as telling the team, I think we should wait until we are totally comfortable with our relationship."

Catherine responds "Okay." Okay? Is that all? Wow, that was easy. I reach out and take Catherine's hand as we look up through the skylight waiting for her appointment.

I sit in the waiting room reading more outdated magazines. Catherine has been wheeled to x-ray and I was told it may take awhile so I had plenty of time to take care of any errands. I informed the nurse I was staying right here until Catherine was finished.

I look to the seat next to me and spot the entertainment section of today's paper. I find an extra pen at the check in desk, locate the crossword puzzle, and proceed to fill in the blanks. I know it's rude of me to work on a "community" puzzle, but I'm bored.

I've finished the puzzle, the jumble, the Sudoku number puzzle, and even the word search. I've read the paper from front to back and back to front and even perused the classified. I got a chuckle or two from the personals found on the last page.

I finally lean my head back and close my eyes. I must have dozed off because the next thing I know, the nurse if calling my name and asking me to follow her.

We go down a hall and she motions for me to enter the far door. Ah, Doctor Waters' office. I open the door to see Catherine sitting in her wheelchair with her back to me.

I pull a chair up next to her and immediately look down to see a walking cast on her left leg. I try not to show any expression of disappointment as I make eye contact with Catherine who doesn't seem to be overjoyed either.

As if reading my mind, Catherine says "Don't get me wrong. I am very happy to be rid of that bulky cast, but I don't look forward to not having you around all the time. Selfish of me, huh?"

Relieved, I reply "No, you're not at all selfish. You make me feel less guilty about my displeasure when I laid eyes on that cast. I think we may be able to work out some sort of time schedule where we can still spend quality time together."

Before she can reply, Dr. Waters enters the room. He places her x-rays on the display behind his desk and proceeds to explain how surprised he is at the amount of healing the bones have undergone in the past two weeks. Catherine will be able to walk using the cast in two days time. He wants the cast to set properly before adding weight. Catherine's arm has also showed signs of improvement so he replaced her bulky arm cast with a lighter one.

Since Catherine won't be able to use crutches, it looks like I will be needed for another two days. Fine by me, that will give us some time to work out a plan for us to see each other on a daily basis once she is fully mobile.

We decide to celebrate with ice cream and a trip to the park. After about an hour, Catherine is showing signs of fatigue and I suggest we head back to the house.

We notice Lily's car in the drive as we pull in. I don't think Catherine is up to a confrontation with her mother. I just hope it doesn't come to that.

I wheel Catherine inside and toward the couch area. Lily emerges from the kitchen as I get Catherine settled on the couch. I nervously stand in the wings.

Lily immediately goes to Catherine, gives her a hug, and tells her how much she loves her. She compliments her on her new casts and says how happy she is the recovery is going well. Lily then turns to me.

I try not to act nervous even though I am shifting my weight from foot to foot. Lily approaches me and draws me into a warm hug. She pulls back and says "Sara, I apologize for my behavior last night and again this morning. I knew Catherine dated both men and women, but I chose to ignore the obvious. If you make Catherine happy, then I am happy as well."

As she takes my hand to guide me to the couch, I notice someone standing in the kitchen doorway. I turn my attention to the unknown person only to see the blue eyes of Sam Braun looking back at me.

Holy shit! My eyes immediately look to his hands.

 

Part 18

I am barely able to keep myself from stumbling the rest of the way to the couch. Catherine, who is unaware of Sam's presence, reaches out to pull me down next to her with a very concerned expression on her face.

Sam makes his way around the couch and stands in front of us. "Hello, Mugs. How are you feeling?"

Catherine reflexively pulls me closer before she answers. "Hello, Sam. I'm feeling just fine. What brings you here?"

He smiles saying "Your mother was quite distraught this morning. She came by to talk about your circumstance."

Circumstance? Is that what I am? Oh God, I bet he uses the term when dealing with unwanted situations.

Catherine is cool as a cucumber as she responds "What circumstance are you referring to? Surely, you don't see my relationship with Sara as a circumstance. Do you now, Sam?"

He throws his had back and laughs. "Mugs, you certainly have moxy that's for sure. And no, I believe your relationship with Ms. Sidle is exactly that, a relationship. Otherwise, I would not have spent all morning explaining things to your mother."

Catherine relaxes back into the couch. I move with her and squeeze her hand. Catherine turns her attention to her 'father' and asks "Sam, would you and mother like some tea or coffee?"

He looks to his watch and shakes his head. "I would love to, but I have a meeting in about 30 minutes. My driver should be outside. Can I have a raincheck?"

Oh, he's good. He orchestrated this entire thing. Sam made sure his car was out of sight so we wouldn't know he was here. Too bad Catherine and I didn't stay at the park longer. That would have messed up his plans for sure.

Sam stands and moves to hug Catherine. I release her hand so she can return the hug. He then holds his hand out to me. "Ms. Sidle, it's a pleasure to meet you. I look forward to getting to know you."

Crap, by the look in his eye, I'd say he already knows a great deal about me. I need to talk to Catherine before he lays out my whole sorted life for her.

I reach out to shake his hand and respond in a controlled voice"Nice to finally meet you, Mr. Braun. I've heard so much about you." He gives me a wink and then asks Lily to walk him out. As the door closes, I breathe a huge sigh of relief. A handshake over a gun shot to the chest wins hands down every time.

Catherine turns toward me and lifts her walking cast over my lap as she pulls me close. "Sara, you were wonderful. You didn't let Sam walk all over you. He'll respect you for that."

She is so at ease with her body practically on top of mine. I look down at her leg across my body and realize I am in big trouble when she gets this cast off. I can't wait.

Lily comes back inside as Catherine removes her leg from my lap. I start to move over so Lily won't feel uncomfortable when Catherine takes my hand and keeps me in place. Oh well, it's her mother.

Lily sits directly across from us and begins the discussion. "Girls, I want you to know I stand by you. I've had some time to think and Sam has helped me see things in a different light. I will still worry about you two, but I won't stand in your way."

Before Catherine and I can respond, Lily says "Now, tell me what the doctor said. How long before you can walk on your cast? Will you be able to go back to work when you can get around? How long will you have to wear your arm cast?" She's baaaacckkk.

When Lindsey gets home, we are going to order pizza to celebrate Catherine's new cast. It is so much easier to maneuver Catherine in this sleeker version. She has also gone back to wearing shorts saying she felt self conscious with the bulky cast on.

Of course, wearing shorts means shaving her legs. I set Catherine up in the bed with towels and shaving gel. She made quite a mess but was able to finish without nicking herself. It took all my concentration to make sure she didn't fall off the bed. After all, she was clad in only her underwear and t-shirt.

I look at the time and realize I haven't gotten any sleep today. I need to get a nap in if I'm going to be alert for work tonight. Lily has decided to take a nap as well. She has a bit of a headache and says sleep always helps.

Lily heads to Lindsey's bed and I go to Catherine's. Catherine has asked if she could lie down with me and read a book. I worry what Lily will think, but Catherine reassures me. I lie down and within minutes I am asleep.

I awake to quiet murmuring. I look to the clock to see 8:00 p.m. What? I slept for five hours? There has to be some kind of problem with this clock. I roll over to find Lindsey signing Catherine's casts.

She looks at me and smiles. "Hi, Sara. Mom let me be the first to sign her casts. I think you should be next." Catherine whispers something in Lindsey's ear and then Lindsey grins and leaves.

Catherine turns toward me and runs her fingers lightly through my hair asking "Did you sleep well?"

I close my eyes and say "I slept great, no weird dreams or nightmares. But I think there's something wrong with this clock over here."

Catherine laughs answering "I'm glad I was able to keep your nightmares away and there is nothing wrong with that clock."

I immediately sit up. "Catherine, why didn't you wake me? You must be starving. Let me get up and I'll go get you something to eat."

She puts her hand out stopping me. "Sara, I've already eaten. Mother and Lindsey brought me a tray and I ate in here. I've sent Lindsey to fix your tray."

"You're kidding me. I slept for five straight hours without a nightmare and while Lily and Lindsey brought you a meal? I have to be dreaming."

Catherine leans over and softly kisses my lips. "Does this feel like a dream to you?"

I look her in the eyes and say "No, it feels like heaven." I lean forward to kiss her again when I hear "All right, you two. Kid in the room. Cease and desist all PDA."

I immediately freeze in place. Please tell me Lindsey did not see me kiss her mother.

 

Part 19

"Cease and desist, huh. Where did you hear that?" Catherine asks as Lindsey brings the tray over to my side of the bed.

Lindsey replies "On one of those Law and Order shows. They say it all the time. Now, here's your pizza and Coke, Sara. We got you one of those vegetarian ones. I hope you like it."

I take the tray and without making eye contact with Lindsey respond "Thanks, Linds, but you didn't need to serve me in bed. I could have gotten up and eaten in the kitchen."

Lindsey smiles and says "Nope. Mom said she wanted to keep you in bed." I turn red as a beet as Lindsey continues. "Besides, you deserve a reward after taking care of mom since she's been injured."

Catherine reaches over, takes my hand, and adds in a sexy voice "Yes, she does. I am going to have to find a way to pay her back for services rendered." I almost drop the tray on the floor, but Catherine reaches out to steady it. "Lindsey, have you finished your homework?"

Lindsey looks at Catherine then at me and back to Catherine. "Um, no. I'll get right on it." She walks out muttering "Grownups."

Speechless after listening to Lindsey and Catherine, I begin to eat my pizza. I am beginning to realize Catherine is way out of my league. She is so beautiful and alluring and I am just plain Sara. Catherine can have anyone she wants. Why would she be interested in me?

Catherine sits back and watches me closely. "Sara, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of Lindsey. I'll try to censor myself more often. Sometimes I'll say or do something without thinking how it will affect others. Just let me know if you are uncomfortable with something. I don't want to do anything to jeopardize this relationship."

I turn to Catherine and ask "Why me? Why would you be interested in someone like me? I don't have anything to offer."

Catherine asks me to move the tray to the nightstand. I comply without thought. As I turn back, Catherine swings her leg over mine and straddles my thighs. Wow. She can bend her leg now that the cast is cut just below her knee.

She cups my face with her right hand and turns my head so that I have no choice but to look directly into her eyes.

"Sara. I want you to listen and listen good. You are the most beautiful person I have ever met, both inside and out. You are kind, caring, intelligent, sincere, reliable, and to top it off incredibly sexy. I am going to do everything in my power to get you to see yourself through my eyes."

With that said she leans forward and passionately kisses me. She controls every aspect of the kiss and leaves no doubt as to her feelings for me. As she pulls away, she topples forward. I catch her, lift her leg, and turn her back to her side of the bed.

Catherine ducks her head and says "Well, that was romantic. Nothing says I love you quite like almost falling on your head."

Now, it's my turn to reassure. "Catherine, romantic doesn't come close to describing the kiss we shared. No one has ever kissed me the way you just did. You poured all your feelings and emotions into a single kiss. I think it's only fair that I tell you a few things about myself that may change your feelings for me. I want you to listen and not say a word until I've finished."

I draw a breath and continue. "When Sam was here today, he gave me a very knowing look. It was as if he was telling me he knew everything about me and would not hesitate to hold it over my head. I had already decided to talk to you about my childhood and subsequent years after eventually, but I feel now is the right time. I don't want Sam to have any power over me."

Catherine doesn't say a word. She smiles and pats her lap. I lay my head in her lap facing outward as she plays with my hair. I begin by detailing the abuse I suffered growing up. I describe the night my mother killed my father as well as my years in foster homes. I speak of my determination to go to Harvard and how I sacrificed my social life to make my dream come true. I talk of the few unsuccessful relationships I had while at Harvard, and go on to describe my life in San Francisco and how I ended up in Vegas. I conclude with all the problems I've encountered since arriving here.

I turn to look up at Catherine only to see her looking back with tears in her eyes. "God Sara, how could I not want you? You persevered through such adversity and you made it through successfully. Knowing all of this only makes me love you even more."

Love? She loves me? Catherine loves me!!! I sit up and hug her tightly whispering in her ear. "I love you too, Catherine. I love you so much."

We are interrupted by a knock on the door followed by Lily's voice. "Excuse me girls, but it is ten o'clock and almost time for Sara to leave for work. I was just checking to be sure Catherine was ready for bed."

Embarrassed, I pull away only to be pulled back and quickly kissed by Catherine. "Sara will be out shortly, mother." She lets me go as I quickly down a piece of pizza. I walk around and lift her into my arms. I carry Catherine toward the master bath as she protests the entire way about her weighing too much and how I'll hurt my back. I just smile and continue the journey.

I'm on cloud nine at work. Everyone asks me why I'm in such a good mood. I just smile and answer "No reason." Greg follows me around every chance he gets trying to worm some information out of me, but I will not cater to his tactics. When shift ends, I rush out before I can be cornered by anyone else.

I run by Krispy Kreme Doughnuts and pick up some of Lindsey and Catherine's favorite, dulce de leche. I overheard Lily talking about how she loves cinnamon and apples, so I pick up a couple of cinnamon apple filled for her. I choose some glazed crullers for myself. Catherine's probably going to kill me for sending Lindsey off to school with a sugar rush, but better her teachers deal with her than us.

Arriving at the house, I open the door to silence. Good, no one is up yet. I would hate to waste perfectly good donuts. Lily wakes as I shut the door. I hand her the donuts and she instructs me to go wake Lindsey and then Catherine while she prepares the coffee. I smile and move down the hall.

"Lindsey, rise and shine. It's time to get some breakfast." I receive a few grunts in response. "Lindsey, I got you some dulce de leche donuts." Her head pops out from under the cover as she says "Really? I love you, Sara!" She hugs me and takes off toward the kitchen. Chuckling, I move to Catherine's room.

Oh, my. Catherine has kicked off the covers and her t-shirt is bunched under her breasts. I swallow and walk toward the bed. Her hair is fanned out across the pillow and her lips are slightly parted. What a vision of beauty.

I barely succeed in keeping my eyes above the cast lying across her flat stomach. I take a breath and quietly call her name. Without opening her eyes, she smiles and stretches like a cat. I brush the hair from her eyes as she looks directly at me.

I lean down and lightly kiss her. "Good morning. I brought breakfast and your mom is brewing the coffee. Let's get you up and moving."

Ten minutes later, I wheel Catherine into the kitchen. By the looks of the donuts left on the plate, Lindsey is working on her third and washing it down with milk. She swallows and says "Look mom. Sara bought our favorite donuts. Beth always brought home those boring plain ones. And I like Sara so much more than Beth. I think we should keep her."

Catherine responds "I asked Sara that exact question the day she brought me home from the hospital, and you know she never gave me an answer." Catherine turns toward me with a huge smile on her face and asks "So what do you say, Sara, can we keep you?"

 

Part 20

I stand both motionless and speechless. I am overwhelmed with emotion. No one has even jokingly talked about wanting me around.

Lily picks up on my state and very smoothly ushers Lindsey from the room pointing out how she's going to be late for school.

Catherine slowly turns her chair so that she is facing me. "Sara, what's the matter? You look as if you're going to pass out. Come sit down."

I obediently comply as Catherine wheels herself close enough to touch me. She reaches out and takes my hand. "Hey, Lindsey and I were just kidding around. We didn't mean to upset you. We really like having you here."

I put my free hand over my eyes and begin to cry. What is wrong with me? My emotions are so near the surface. You would think I had PMS or something.

Catherine works her chair until she is adjacent to mine. She immediately pulls me to her as best she can. Even in this awkward embrace, I feel safe and loved.

I finally pull myself together and lift my head from Catherine's shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Catherine. You must think I'm a basket case. I can't explain my feelings. I am having a hard time controlling my emotions."

Catherine nods her head and says "I may be way off base, but I think what you're feeling is security and happiness."

I close my eyes and try to pinpoint my feelings. I feel so close to Catherine and I think of Lindsey and Lily as family. I have felt more loved and appreciated these past two weeks that at any time in my life.

I open my eyes saying "I think you're right, Catherine. I am happy for the first time since my early childhood before all the bad things started to happen. I want to be part of you. I want to be part of your family." I smile and add "Yes, you can keep me."

Lily comes back in with Lindsey to say their goodbyes while I clear the table and rinse the dishes. I wheel Catherine to her room and begin our day.

I successfully sneak some of Greg's coffee before shift. Nick and Warrick come in and catch me, but both keep mum when Greg walks in. I nod my thanks and pick up a magazine to read while waiting for Grissom.

Tomorrow's the day Catherine gets to try out her walking cast. She's going to wait for me to return in case she has some problems. We've decided that I will come by after shift each morning and have breakfast. Then I'll go home, get some rest, and return to visit each evening. There's no way we can go cold turkey without seeing each other.

Catherine is going to stay by herself starting tomorrow night and promises to call Lily or me if there's a problem. I know she is looking forward to being self sufficient again.

The guys pull me from my thoughts asking for an update on Catherine. I smile and fill in all the blanks, well, almost all the blanks. Grissom comes in, and by the look on his face, it's going to be a long night.

I exit the building thirty minutes early. My only job of the night was to collect evidence and secure it back at headquarters. Grissom told me to enjoy my freedom because starting Monday I would be expected to work full shifts again.

As I walk toward my truck, a black limousine pulls up next to me. The tinted glass prevents me from seeing the passenger. The car stops just ahead of me and the window slides down. Well, hell. It's Sam Braun.

"Hello again, Ms. Sidle. I was wondering if you would take a ride with me this morning. I'd like to treat you to the best coffee in Vegas."

Is that the line they are using these days to entice victims into a car? I don't believe Sam is going to take no for an answer. I wonder if I have time to run back inside for my bulletproof vest.

I make a show of looking at my watch before answering. "I promised Catherine I would be there to help her take her first steps with her cast. Is this going to take long?"

He opens the door and replies "No, just a quick cup and I'll have you back in time so that Catherine won't be disappointed." Like a true gentleman, he takes my hand to help me in. I just hope I come out of this in one piece.

We only travel a couple of blocks when the driver pulls into an old run down looking diner. Sam opens the door and helps me out. I look at him then the diner and back at him. He grins and says "Don't let the exterior fool you. Betty Sue makes the best coffee in the city. C'mon, you'll see."

I just hope Betty Sue isn't toting a gun. We walk to the entrance and he holds the door. He motions me to the back booth and I head toward it without hesitation. I hope my bravado lasts for awhile longer.

Sure enough, Betty Sue, at least that's what her nametag says, walks over and pours the most aromatic coffee in my mug. I take the first sip and close my eyes at its wonderful flavor. Sam laughs and holds up his mug for his serving. Betty Sue will be seeing me quite often.

We drink our first cup in silence. Betty Sue offers a refill and leaves. Sam takes her departure as his cue. "Ms. Sidle, can I call you Sara?" I nod my head in assent as he continues. "I know all about your background and I'm not sure how Mugs will react if she finds out you've been keeping things from her."

I immediately put a halt to where this is going. "Mr. Braun, can I call you Sam?" He smiles and nods yes. "I have already told Catherine everything about me since birth. She doesn't have a problem with any of it. I'm sorry if that causes problems for your blackmailing scheme."

Sam laughs for several minutes before replying "Oh Mugs, you've got your hands full with this one. If you two team up, I feel sorry for all the bad guys." I start to reply when he puts up his hand. "Sara, I've gone about this all wrong. I admit I wanted to have something on you to make sure you never mistreated Catherine. You have already impressed me a great deal. You've stood up to me for one thing, but the main thing is you've stuck by Catherine through her entire ordeal. None of the bastards she's dated before would have lasted a day and that Beth person was a gold digging bitch."

He sighs before continuing. "Beth was after me and I pretty much told her to take a hike. She found out Catherine was my daughter and went after her. Catherine doesn't know and I'd like to keep it that way if you don't mind. I gave Beth $25,000 to leave Vegas and if she comes back, I will deal with her. Anyway, back to you, I like you Sara. You're good for Catherine and Lindsey. You also handle Lily pretty well, and that's saying a lot about a person. I'm sorry for trying to get you in line with your past. I actually have plenty of respect for you to be able to get out of that situation in such a positive way."

What do I say to all of this? "Um, thanks." Wow, Sara. That was really intelligent.

Sam doesn't seem to notice as he finishes with "I hope you and Catherine are able to build a solid relationship with each other. I know Mugs is leery of me, but I just want the best for her and I think you can be that for her. I'm here if either of you ever need me."

I put my hand out and reply "Thanks, Sam. I appreciate your candor. I promise you I will always be there for Catherine." He shakes my hand and we finish our coffee.

 

Part 21

I arrive at Catherine's right on time. Lily has gotten Lindsey up and they are both having breakfast. She said she left Catherine for me. Gotta love the woman.

When I enter the room, Catherine is awake and looks over as I walk toward her. She sits up on the bed and gingerly puts her left foot on the floor. I move over to her and place my hands on her waist.

I smile and say "Ready?" She nods and starts to stand. Catherine places all her weight on her right foot before shifting a little to her left. After a couple of minutes, her weight is evenly distributed on both legs. She gives me another nod as she takes her first few steps.

I keep my hands on her waist as I back up with each step. She has a bit of a limp, but is pretty much walking without problems. "How are you doing? Any pain?"

Catherine grins and replies "None. And this feels wonderful. I'll never take walking for granted again." She expresses a desire to go to the bathroom by herself promising she'll be careful.

I anxiously wait in the bedroom for her return. She comes around the corner sporting a huge smile. "Who knew going to the toilet all by myself would be one of the highlights of my day?"

I rush over to her and hug her tight. It feels so good to be able to hold her in this manner. I can't wait for all the other firsts.

I brush my teeth and wash my face while Catherine gets dressed. I can't get my "visit" with Sam out of my head. There is no way I can keep this from Catherine, but today's not the day.

Catherine and I walk into the kitchen hand in hand. Lily and Lindsey are so excited to see Catherine up and about. I pull out the chair for Catherine and we both sit down to enjoy a family breakfast.

I'm going to stay with Catherine today just as a precaution. She is going to try to do a few chores and I promise to stay out of the way unless she needs me. I will leave from here to go to work. Catherine is staying on her own with Lindsey tonight. I hope I can finish my shift without driving by to check on her.

Tonight's my last night of work until Monday. This was originally my weekend off and Grissom didn't see any reason to change it. I will return for breakfast in the morning and will be available all day Saturday and Sunday if Catherine should need me. Lily is going to take a trip this weekend so everything is working out great.

Catherine has washed two loads of clothes and is smiling like she's won the lottery. I wonder how long it will take for her to tire of menial tasks. I give her two days.

I warn Catherine about doing too much and remind her to sit down as much as possible. She is not happy with my reprimand but promises to slow things down. I give her a kiss and tell her I'm off to get some sleep.

I awake later to find an arm around my waist and a body spooning me from behind. I take hold of Catherine's hand and snuggle back into her body. She starts to kiss my shoulder and moves up to my neck sucking lightly.

I moan and turn on my back to greet her lips. Soon our tongues are gliding against each other and Catherine is straddling my waist with my hands on her hips. We both begin to moan while Catherine presses down against me. As she begins to rock, I realize just how close we are to losing control. I gently roll her to the right being extremely careful of her left leg and arm.

I finally succeed in getting Catherine on her back without breaking our kiss. I pull away and place a few light kisses on her lips. "Catherine, we've got to stop."

She pulls me back down to her lips. "I don't want to stop, Sara. I want you."

I break our kiss once more. Breathing heavily, I ask "Catherine, what happened to not wanting to make love while you were incapacitated? Remember?"

I look into eyes full of desire as she says "Fuck that, Sara. I want you now." She pulls me back down and takes total possession of my mouth. She tastes so good and I want her so badly, but she is not one hundred percent. I could accidentally hurt her.

As I attempt to pull back once more, she brings her casted arm up just as I've lifted my head and she knocks me off of the bed. I lie on the floor looking at the ceiling trying to get my breathing under control.

After a few moments, Catherine peeks over the edge of the bed. "Oh, Sara. I am so sorry. I didn't know you were going to lift up. Are you okay?"

I turn my head toward her and reply "I'm just peachy, Catherine. Although I think I'll lie here for awhile longer until the room stops spinning."

Catherine immediately sits up and gets off the bed. It takes her a few minutes, but she is finally able to sit on the floor next to me. She takes my face in her hand and says "Shit, Sara. You are going to have quite a shiner. I didn't realize I hit you in the face. Can you get up? We need to get some ice to keep the swelling down."

I finally manage to get up and then help Catherine from the floor. What a pair we make? The crippled leading the blind, together we slowly walk to the kitchen.

Catherine leads me to the chair in the kitchen. She gets a dishtowel and places it on the table. She then gets a glass and fills it with ice from the ice maker. Moving back toward me, she pours the ice on the towel and folds the towel back up.

I reach for the makeshift ice bag and place it on my eye. Catherine takes one look at me and bursts out laughing. I immediately join in.

I'm not looking forward to all the questions from the team. My eye is a nice shade of purple, but the swelling is minimal. I've already come up with my cover story, I ran into the door. Not very original but at least Lindsey believed it.

I get the expected ribbing from the guys and am surprised they all believe my cover story as well. You'd think I was a natural klutz or something. Although, I have to admit I'd rather be labeled a klutz than tell the real story.

Grissom keeps me in the lab tonight which is fine by me. I won't have to explain my accident to any other law enforcement personnel. Besides, I'll be accessible if Catherine calls.

I make it through the shift and am on my way out the door when Ecklie passes me. He laughs saying "What happened, Sidle? Catherine knock you for a loop?" I answer "You could say that" as I smile and walk away.

I sneak into the house and all is quiet. I mix up some pancakes, put the batter in the fridge, and get the griddle out from under the cabinet. Leaving the kitchen, I head to the master bedroom. I check in on Lindsey as I walk past. She is dead to the world.

I crawl into bed with Catherine and lie on my side watching her sleep. Who knew two and a half weeks ago, I would be in this position? I hate it took an injury to Catherine for the two of us to realize how much we mean to each other. I feel less guilty each day she improves. She will soon be back to work and we will continue to build our relationship.

Recovery is defined as a return to a normal or original state. I'm happy to say we will both come away from this much better than before.

I dreamily smile thinking about our future as Catherine awakens. She kisses my cheek as I move toward the edge so she can get out of bed. As Catherine walks toward the master bath, she purrs over her shoulder "You think you're smiling now. Don't forget I used to be an erotic dancer. When I get these casts off, I'm going to rock your world. "

Thud. Shit, I think I broke my ass. And once again Catherine Willows is responsible for me falling off the bed. I look up at the ceiling rubbing my ass and smile...hm, I wonder if I can install a pole in here?

EPILOGUE

It's been three weeks since Catherine has returned to work. Grissom wouldn't let her leave the lab for the first few nights, but Catherine nagged him until he finally relented. She walks a little slower than normal, but she hasn't let either of her casts get in the way of her doing her job.

We've been teamed together quite a bit lately. I think Grissom feels I will be able to keep her from overdoing it. Yeah, right. When Catherine gets something in her head, I don't think God could talk her out of it. I'm just happy for any excuse to work with her.

It's amazing how we are able to keep our personal relationship separate from our working one. Granted, we are much friendly toward each other, but we have both stay focused on the job at hand. A few people have remarked that it's nice to see us finally getting along. I just smile and move on. Oh, if they only knew how well we're getting along.

I have breakfast with Catherine and Lindsey each morning and we always plan an outing for the three of us on the weekends. Catherine and I have been able to go out for dinner a few times thanks to Lily staying with Lindsey. We have not moved past the heavy petting stage, although, it has been very difficult keeping my hands to myself.

Catherine is off tonight and tomorrow night. Bill from the day shift was supposed to help out and work a double, but his wife has gone into labor. Now we're short a person and I'm a bit worried I won't be able to finish in time to take Catherine to the doctor tomorrow. Oh well, no sense to worry this early in shift.

Crap, I jinxed myself with all my earlier negative thoughts. I'll be lucky to get out of here by 11:00 a.m. I call Catherine to inform her of my predicament and she tells me not to worry about it. She asks me to come by the house as soon as I get off.

I look at the clock as I walk out the doors. 12:30 p.m. Good thing I'm off tonight; otherwise, I don't think I would be much help next shift. I get into my truck and head to Catherine's. I call on the way to see if she needs anything. She tells me she's fine and to let myself in.

As I open the door, I don't see any sign of Catherine. "Hey, Cath. It's me. Where are you?" I hear a voice from the back of the house call out "I'm back here in the bedroom. I need your help with something."

I put my keys on the sofa table and make my way to the master bedroom. I immediately notice how dark it is in the room. As I reach for the light switch, I hear "Don't turn on the light. Follow my voice." I shrug my shoulders and walk toward Catherine's voice.

She greets me with a very hot kiss as she moves her hands around to grab my ass. I moan into her mouth as I return the favor. Hm, Catherine sure doesn't seem to have much on. My hand feels as if it's touching skin.

She maneuvers me backward until I feel my knees hit something solid. Who put that chair here? Catherine pushes me down until I am seated as she pulls away. I suddenly become very uncomfortable with the darkness. "Cath, what's going on? Turn on a light or something please."

The next thing I know, music begins to play and some sort of spotlight is focused in the middle of the room. My eyes take a few minutes to become accustomed to the light as Catherine comes into view wearing a very skimpy outfit and there is absolutely no sign of a cast anywhere. I start to stand and she motions me to stay seated. I immediately comply.

The music takes on a sultry beat as Catherine begins to sway perfectly in sync with the rhythm. As she moves directly into the spotlight, I see it for the first time. Holy shit, there's a pole in the middle of the room. I can't believe I told her about my fantasy.

Catherine begins to dance using the pole as a prop. Oh, to be that pole. She treats it as if it's her lover. I wipe the sweat from my brow as Catherine glides up and down the pole like a monkey on a tree.

I unbutton my top few buttons as Catherine removes pieces of clothing while she gyrates around the pole. Oh my God. Did someone turn up the heat? I am profusely sweating and my lower extremities are coming alive.

Catherine grabs hold of the pole with her right hand and swings around pointing her left foot out and then lands on her right. Damn, she's got pretty good upper body strength. She straddles the pole and begins to undulate with the beat of the music as I struggle to cross my legs.

As the music winds down, Catherine makes her way to me wearing only a see thru bra and a thong. I gulp loudly as she knocks my legs apart and straddles my lap. I start to ask if the doctor okayed this much exercise when my mouth is taken hostage by Catherine's tongue.

I move my hands to her ass and squeeze her perfect globes. Somehow she has unbuttoned my shirt and is removing it from my body without breaking our kiss. She moves her lips to my neck and makes it a point to mark me as she grabs hold with more suction than a vacuum.

As she kisses her way down to my chest, I realize she has removed my bra with the skill of a Houdini. I had no idea it was gone. When she latches onto my nipple, I no longer care how she performed the act.

I lean down to get her attention as our lips once again lock in battle. As I start to stand, Catherine wraps her legs around my waist as I walk us to the bed using the spotlight to guide my way.

I lay Catherine back on the bed as I remove my shoes using only my feet. I lift up slightly and undo my jeans. Using one hand I push them to my knees and once again use my talented feet to completely remove them.

Catherine begins to move up toward the headboard as I follow her with my lips. She has reached back and removed her bra as I lie on top of her. For the first time, we have achieved skin on skin and oh, what a glorious feeling. The only barrier that remains is our underwear.

I work my way down Catherine's body sucking and marking as I go. When I reach her flat stomach, I grab the sides of her thongs and pull ripping them from her body. What the hell, I can always get her a new pair.

I move back up and take her nipple into my mouth as I reach down to remove my own underwear. After a few moments, I have completed my task. Catherine is making the most exquisite little noises. It is going to become my life's goal to hear them as often as possible.

Catherine pulls me back up to her lips. As I push my tongue into her mouth, we begin to move against each other in perfect harmony. We both reach down and enter each other simultaneously. I break our kiss to look into Catherine's eyes as we continue our vigorous pumping. We keep our eyes focused on each other until we finally cum together. Leaning down, I gently kiss her lips.

We make love the rest of the afternoon and as promised, Catherine has truly rocked my world. As we lay in each other arms, Catherine fills me in on her successful plan. She talked Nancy into keeping Lindsey for a couple of days and she visited an old dancing friend of hers who had a portable pole brought over and set up. The doctor told her she could begin to exercise, but Catherine admitted she didn't tell him exactly what her exercise entailed.

We decide to tell Grissom and the rest of the team of our relationship when we get back to work. I am going to let the lease run out on my apartment next month and move in with Catherine. We had been talking about it for some time and both Lily and Lindsey are excited about it. It looks like we've both made a fully recovery.

Catherine turns on her side and I spoon her from behind. She takes my hand and interlaces it with hers. As soon as I feel Catherine drifting off, I ask "Hey, Cath. Can we keep the pole?"

***

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