Title: These Walls
Author: mojor
Pairing: Cath/Sara
Fandom: CSI
Rating: PG-13
Challenge: Heather Nova titles
Spoilers: None really
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Words: 337
AN: This is my first post to the journal- took me about half an hour to figure out how to actual post this thing. The story really isn't worth the effort IMO! but at least it will be easier next time... assuming this actually works. I've enjoyed reading all the stories posted here over the last few weeks and decided it was time i contributed so... here goes.

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I used to think I was safe inside these walls. That the outside world of life and death and love and betrayal and lies and desperate heartache could not reach me here. I stole glimpses of that other world; those few hours of perimeter searches and evidence gathering, dead bodies and blood splatter- they told their tragic tales to anyone who wanted to listen.


And I wanted to listen; to see all there was of the truth, find peace for the victim, solve the problems that they could not solve themselves- who was right and who was wrong, innocent and guilty.


I used to think that there was only truth inside these walls. That, no matter how confusing the evidence, I had only to look harder, follow the clues, analyse, and extrapolate.


I used to think there was trust inside these walls. Colleagues in whom I placed my faith knowing that each part of team was working towards the same goal.


What was your goal?


I trusted that we both wanted more than stolen moments and desparate sex.


Those many nights when you would push me away only to pull me close as the sun came up and we fled the lab to the privacy of my bedroom. When, slick with sweat, you moaned of need and desire I thought you meant love.


So many dismissive glances and condescending comments. I imagined them away; perhaps a cover to hide your true feelings, a way to distance us at work... I can't see the clues anymore. The fog of my own emotions hides the truth.


I think of myself as the victim; my innocence to your guilt, my right to your wrong, my faith and your betrayal.


I never even suspected. I thought you spent the day with Lindsey. I asked how you enjoyed your time off- you told me you had fun.


You're with him now and these walls close in on me. Reducing my life and love, to death and betrayal and lies and desparate heartache.

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