Title: Backwards
By: it-glitters
Pairing: Greg/Nick
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Rating: NC-17
Series: 1) Darkness Moves, 2) Perfect Deviant, 3) Public Displays, 4) Shared Toys, 5) Hands Tied, 6) Sheer Madness, 7) Manipulation, 8) Enough, 9) The Gospel According To Tony, 10) Whore, 11) Shut Up, 12) Just Don't
Warnings: violence, rape/non-con, other pairings
Summary: Even though they broke it off, they still can't get over it.

***

It had been too easy to fall in love with Greg again. It pained him everyday to not be able to go home to Greg, but Nick took solace in the fact that he could still see Greg at work – even if they were no longer working directly together.

Nick tried as hard as he could not to become a stalker, but he needed to know. He needed to know exactly what his ex-boyfriend was up to. There was surprisingly little activity – sometimes Greg would go out to the club, but he was never there for very long. A few times Nick actually followed Greg in – and watched what he would do – but it was actually less than what he had engaged in when they were together. Sometimes he would jerk off, and only once did he let one of the club bunnies suck him off, and it absolutely never went beyond that. Greg always ended the night early and alone.

Sometimes, Nick got the feeling that he was being followed. He had turned around at the coffee house on his day off and swore that he had seen Greg ducking out the door.

And now, Nick was watching in the hallway as Greg went into Grissom's office, thinking that he had failed another proficiency – but Nick knew that he hadn't. Greg had passed, and there would be celebration and drinking... All things that Nick knew generally led to disaster. He wanted to leave – he didn't trust himself to be around Greg when he was sure to be in such a good mood. All it would take would be one word, one glance – and he would be back in Greg's arms again. It wouldn't be the first time since the breakup that it would nearly happen. Somehow, Greg would always make Nick forget everything that was so wrong about them and only remember everything that was so right. The way it felt when they kissed – Nick had fallen for that one in an evidence room. He had been helping Greg sort through evidence when they had gotten to close. They ended up crawling under the table and making out for 20 minutes.

Nick waited with the group for Greg to come out. When he finally left the boss's office he was all smiles and light. Nick wanted more than anything just to kiss him – to actually taste the joy on his lips. He missed Greg – but at least he could be a part of the moment that he knew that Greg had worked so hard for.

They had drunk a little champagne and finished up. Nick had lingered in near Greg's car, pretending to read a book. Greg finally came out and said his goodbyes to Sara. He looked over at Nick.

"You should really stop following me, Nicky."

"So you know?"

"Yes."

"I miss you every fucking day. And I know you miss me. Don't lie. You got into my head somehow Greg – and I never want to lose you."

"I've been seeing someone."

Nick felt his heart drop into his stomach – how had he missed that? "Oh," was all he managed to choke out.

"Not that way, Nick. I mean a doctor – about everything that happened. After I lost you, I realized my life was shit and that I needed help."

It was strange talking together so openly. It had been months since the breakup, but this was by no means the first time that they had spoken to each other, or even the first time that they had been alone together. They had gone to meals, helped each other on cases, and even made out a few times. But this was the first time they had talked about the secret that no one else knew.

"You never lost me, Greg."

Greg looked into the abandoned parking lot. "This isn't the time or place for me to explain. I thought – I thought you just put up with me at work because you had too... and the kissing – I guess I just thought you were using me. But, there's more... Meet me at my house?"

"I never used you. I love you – and I...."

"At home, Nick, please." Greg placed his hand on Nick's arm.

"I'll follow you."

....

Greg had waited for Nick out in the parking lot of his apartment – it was the first time that he had done that. Usually, Greg was already inside, waiting impatiently. Nick realized that it must be because he no longer had a key to Greg's place.

"You always drive slow."

"I drive carefully, Greg. You drive like a crazy person."

"You want some food. I've got stuff to make some stir fry."

"Since when do you cook?"

"One of the things I've been trying out."

Nick followed Greg into the house. The second he walked in and he and Greg were alone, the only thing he wanted to do was take Greg into his arms and make love to him on the couch. Nick forced himself to hold back and then followed Greg into the kitchen. They stood in silence as Greg took the ingredients out of the kitchen.

"G, tell me more about the doctor," Nick said, finally breaking the silence between them.

"I don't know. You know that I haven't stopped my old life."

"You're still a sexual person, Greg. It's not like that will ever stop. And you don't go very often."

"I guess you know that I haven't had sex with anyone since you and I broke up."

Nick had assumed, but he hadn't been able to watch Greg every minute of everyday. "Neither have I."

Greg leaned sensually against the counter. "I've never been so horny." He was rubbing the skin just below his belly button. Nick felt his mouth go dry – he hadn't had sex since Greg either – he had masturbated frequently – always fantasizing about Greg.

"Greg." It was all Nick could say. He knew that in this situation 'no' wasn't an option – he just wasn't that strong. He had missed Greg. The splitting of the team, which he had originally seen as a blessing, had turned into a curse. He missed Greg – missed the smiles, the wacky hair, the random comments. He had missed Greg becoming a CSI – he had helped, but it was really Sara that had gotten to be with Greg throughout the process.

"Nicky, I've missed you. I... I wanted you to know... I'm sorry."

That was it. Nick couldn't hold back anymore, he crossed the kitchen and pulled Greg into his arms. Their one time make out session had barely gotten him through the last lonely months. He needed Greg.

Greg moaned as they kissed and ran his hands over Nick's closely shaven hair. Then he giggled.

"Greg, what?"

"Nothing – just last time we were together, I had something to hold onto up here."

Nick smiled down at Greg. "You want me to grow it back?"

"It's your hair."

"And you're my partner. Your opinion matters to me."

"Nick, this is sex – I don't know if I can get back into an 'us' situation."

Nick tried to convince himself that it wasn't ok. He knew that he shouldn't get involved with Greg if it was going to be a one night stand, but his dick was in control. "Kay," he whispered as he pulled off Greg's shirt and latched onto a nipple. Greg started to pull him down the hall, during which all their clothes were discarded.

Greg pushed Nick onto the bed and crawled onto of him, causing their erections to rub together. Nick missed the touch of anything that wasn't his own hand. Lube was pulled out of the nightstand where Greg always kept it. Nick gasped as he felt a slick finger enter him – it had been a long time since someone else had touched him there. Nick had fingered himself and even bought toys to replace the ones that Greg had kept at his house. But, it was always different when he knew it was Greg.

Nick moaned as Greg continued to stretch him, never pushing in far enough to touch his prostate. Nick knew that Greg was saving that for later.

"Greg, I'm ready... Please." Nick was reduced to begging, he wanted it so bad.

Greg pulled his fingers out claimed Nick's mouth as he slid in. Nick nearly bit Greg's tongue off in surprise – he wasn't expecting such a smooth entrance. He had missed Greg.

Greg slid in and out gently – but it wasn't what Nick wanted. He pushed his knees up, grabbed Greg's ass and pulled him in hard. Greg broke the kiss in surprise.

"Fuck me, Greg. I want to be fucked."

Greg bit his lip in concentration as he began to slam in and out of Nick, hitting his prostate every time. Nick screamed incoherently as Greg began to stoke his dick.

"Fuck! Fuck! Greg! Fuck!" He spilled his seed over Greg's chest. He heard Greg choke back a cry and then felt Greg's cum filling his ass.

"I missed you, Nicky."

***

Next story in series - Alone.