Title: On ne voit que bien avec le coeur
By: Valerie
Summary: There are some things that you can only see with your heart.
Note: Third and last story in 'Lovers and Enemies'. Sequal to Even Better Than The Real Thing and In Joy and Sorrow
Rating: FRAO

*Prologue*

 

"Hey love"

 

Gil knew that he would never tire of waking up like this. A soft kiss to his lips and Nick's dark eyes smiling at him with love, it was something he had never dreamed of having in his life and now that he had it, he knew that he would never be able to go without.

 

"Morning"

 

Nick smiled a bit more and before Gil had any chance to think about that smile, his lover leaned over and kissed him hard, passionate and full of pent up desire. Groaning Gil shifted so that Nick was on top of him and with the same passion that fuelled his lover, Gil answered the frantic kisses. It had been so long since they had had time for each other, both swamped with evidence and work. Yesterday after work, they had been too tired to do anything but crash on the bed, now though they had slept and were rested.

 

Moaning at the contact of the long missed skin, Gil's hand's roamed over Nick's body, kneaded the tense muscles until his lover was practically melting into the touch.

 

"I need you Gil"

 

The raspy voice was so full wit need that it made him tremble, but a glance at the watch told him that they didn't have the time for a thorough session of love-making and so he whispered into Nick's ear.

 

"After the shift, next morning love... I promise we'll do it right then."

 

Nick just moaned at that promise and Gil felt his lover's hand move between their bodies, he gasped when Nick started to stroke their cocks together and within no time, he felt Nick's body tense above him and his deep moan and the ecstasy in his face caused him to see stars too.

 

Coming back to reality he felt Nick's hand softly caressing his back, his eyes on him full of love and care.

 

"You are so beautiful, when you are like this."

 

Gil just shook his head and laughed and yet he knew that to Nick he really was beautiful. He had learned to believe him, but there were still moments when he had to pinch himself to know that it was true.

 

"I would say ditto, but then you are always beautiful to me."

 

Nick grinned and got out of bed to start the coffee while Gil went to take a quick shower. By the time he was finished the coffee was ready and as Nick ducked into the bathroom for his own shower, Gil sat back and thought of the last 24 months.

 

24 months since Lower had waged his own personal war against Gil by making Nick a killer's target, 24 months since he had confessed his love and received Nick's heart in return.

 

It hadn't always been easy, he mused as he sipped from his coffee, his own insecurity and Nick's old demons had seen to that. But with the help of their friends and some well chosen words from them, they had made it through and now Gil really believed them to be strong enough to face anything.

 

"What are you thinking about? Dreaming about your meeting with the sheriff?"

 

Nick shook his keys and smiled as Gil jumped up.

 

"You and what I'll be doing with you when we come home next morning."

 

Nick's smile got brighter and he quickly walked over to Gil. Stealing some of his coffee he leaned down and shared the drink with Gil

 

"I can't wait."

 

Neither could Gil and as he left their house and got into his own car, his eyes followed Nick as he drove off towards the lab. They just had to get through this night, how hard could that be?

 

---

 

Catherine had already handed out the assignments by the time he returned from the meeting with the sheriff and with a smile he sat down next to her.

 

"What do you have left for me?"

 

She grinned and shrugged, then handed him a sheet of paper.

 

"Nick should be back with his body, I guess you can give him a hand."

 

Gil nodded already concentrating on the case, when the call came in.

 

"CSI Stokes has been abducted from a crime scene, all units please be notified."

 

Everything in him froze and he knew that life as he had known it had just ceased to exist.

 

---

 

*Chapter 1*

 

It was the emptiness beside him that woke Nick and he woke like he always did since... well since it had happened. Quick and immediate; a short moment of complete panic and then the slow realization setting in that he was not in the box anymore, that he was safe.

 

Or something like it.

 

He didn't remember much about the first days right after they'd found him. He remembered shadows and dreams, remembered fighting against anyone trying to restrain him, remembered soft whispers and gentle hands, remembered someone crying next to him. And he remembered Gil... Gil who had been there, had been with him all the time. Gil's hands cooling the bites with ointment, Gil's voice telling him that he was safe...

 

But just as all the other memories it was as if he were watching them through a filter. From the three weeks he'd been in hospital only one memory remained crystal clear.

 

Conrad Ecklie sitting next to his bed and reading in a book, the usually cold voice had been lowered, softened, the words had floated through the room, weaving a spell of magic in the air. He hadn't understood any of it, had at that time not even known what language it had been. But the simple care that Ecklie had expressed with his action had moved Nick deeply and for once he had not dreamed of a box and of being trapped but instead of birds and of flying.

 

He had since then often wondered if he should ask Ecklie about it, but something had always held him back.

 

The night in the hospital was three months ago. He still had nightmares, and tried to avoid bugs, but Nick knew that he had recovered much faster than expected. His friends had been a tremendous help; Warrick, who had never left his side until Gil almost physically pushed him away; Sara, who had been there when he had needed a kick in the ass, who had made him go to physiotherapy despite his whining; Greg, who had often just turned up with DVDs in the middle of the day and Catherine, who had taken him in her arms when he had needed it.

 

But that had not been all; Nick had expected the care from his close friends, because he had always known that he could count on them. It had been the others that had surprised him and helped maybe even more, people he would have considered work colleagues, but not friends. Conrad Ecklie had raised heaven and earth to bring the team back together, had defended his decision against the mayor and the sheriff going as far as threatening to quit. Jim Brass had made sure that whenever Nick was out on a scene, he was there too and yet had never given him the feeling of watching him. David Hodges whose constant snarky comments hadn't changed one bit, who refused to change just cause Nick had been abducted...

 

But in the end, Nick knew that neither Warrick's care nor Ecklie's silent support would have helped, had he not had Gil constantly with him. Nick shivered lightly in the cold bed room

 

Where was Gil?

 

It wasn't the first time that Nick woke to an empty bed, and sighing silently he got up and went to their living room. He knew Gil would be there, reading some kind of forensic journal or a book or just anything to keep him awake. He watched him from the door frame and saw the deep lines in the handsome face, lines of worry and exhaustion, lines that hadn't been there... before...

 

"Gil"

 

He looked up and Nick barely suppressed a gasp at the terror that lurked in the blue eyes. Without thinking he walked through the room and kneeled down next to his lover. Tentatively, suddenly unsure he reached out and gently touched Gil's shoulder. A shiver went through Gil and he grabbed Nick and pressed him against the couch holding him close against his body.

 

"Nick"

 

Gil's voice broke and his hands mapped Nick's face as if he was touching him for the first time.

 

"Nicky"

 

For a second Nick fought down the fear as he felt trapped under Gil, but within moments the realization that it was Gil on top of him made him relax again. Gil's body shook, but his fingers were incredibly gentle as they caressed him, touched his eyes, his lips and finally rested on the vein at his neck where his blood was closest to the skin.

 

"I almost lost you."

 

The despair in Gil's voice stunned Nick and he pushed a bit at the hard body covering his, not much, just enough so that he could see Gil's eyes. What he saw there made him freeze, Gil's normally so calm and controlled eyes were wild with fear and terror. Nick recognized the look; he had seen it in his own face every time he had woken up from a nightmare.

 

Realization hit hard and he wanted to shout at Gil and yet he understood why his lover had never spoken about this, had never told him about his own nightmares. Up until a couple of weeks ago, Nick would not have been able to help and still it hurt, because it felt as if he had failed his lover, the one person who meant so much to him.

 

"I am here, Gil… I am here, you found me... I am safe..."

 

Whispering the words in Gil's ear, Nick was shocked to realize how much he meant it. He felt safe in Gil's arms. A shiver ran through him and as if reacting to it, Gil pressed him closer before he released him and got up slowly. Nick saw defeat in his face and reached out with one hand.

 

"Come back to bed... talk to me."

 

A tightening of Gil's lips was the only reaction he got, but Gil followed him towards the bedroom and soon they were lying under the covers. Gil's body was against his own, his arms held him close. He remained silent though and Nick sighed as he realized that Gil didn't want to talk about his nightmares. Gently he caressed the arms that held him tight and he smiled as he felt Gil relax.

 

"Why did you never tell me?"

 

Gil tensed again and Nick sighed. He didn't want his lover to hide from him, and wanted, no needed to be there for Gil the way Gil was there for him. A chill ran through him as he thought of how many times he'd woken up alone lately and how often Gil had hidden his nightmares from him.

 

"I couldn't."

 

Gil's voice was flat, but Nick knew that they had to talk. They had to get to the ground not only of the nightmares, but also of Gil's avoidance of Nick. They had been there before... well before it all had happened... long ago, when some stupid cops had threatened Nick. Gil had tried to push him away for his own safety, but Nick had been stubborn then and as they said; some things never changed.

 

"Why?"

 

He had learned that when he was dealing with Gil Grissom, he had to be persistent but not pushing and so he kept the gentle caresses up while he asked the question and waited for Gil to make up his mind whether or not to tell him the truth.

 

"I couldn't put this on you... I... I am supposed to be the strong one here..."

 

Oh Gil... Nick's heart broke at the whispered words which seemed to resound in the room. Instinctively he turned around and cupped Gil's face with his hands. Eyes locked with the clouded blue ones he loved so much, he tried to make sure that Gil understood him.

 

"You are Gil, you are so strong, but please let me help you, please don't push me aside. Allow yourself to be weak..."

 

He sighed when Gil tried to withdraw.

 

"Don't hide Gil… please talk to me"

 

It was an almost desperate plea and as if Gil had read the urgency behind the words he sagged against Nick and closed his eyes for a moment. Opening them again, he once more mapped Nick's face with his eyes and hands, then took Nick in his arms, holding him close. Nick felt the tremors that ran through Gil and remaining silent he waited.

 

"I dream of it... every night I see you there... I see you in that box and I can't do anything... I am so helpless and I want to cry out to hold you, but you are behind that glass and I have to watch you..."

 

Gil pressed him even closer as his voice broke.

 

"I dream of you saying good bye."

 

He tensed for a moment, and then forced himself to relax. Gil had never said anything about the tape and so he had thought that he didn't know about it. Now he knew better.

 

"You... god Nick... watching you tape this message, knowing that you didn't think you would survive... love... I... I..."

 

Again Gil's voice broke, but as he spoke again it had changed was urgent and his eyes bore into Nick's with an incredible intensity.

 

"You never disappointed me. How could you even think you had?"

 

Swallowing hard, Nick tried to find a way to make Gil understand, but in the end there was nothing to tell but the honest truth.

 

"I promised to never leave you... and when I was there all I thought was that I was about to break my promise."

 

Gil shivered again, more violently until his entire body shook with suppressed sobs. Nick held him close, arms around him and let him cry. He didn't whisper any soothing words, didn't tell him that it was going to be alright. He knew that in a way, it would never again be alright. They had gone through hell; both of them had one inside and one outside of the box. And so he just held Gil close, let him cry and give into the terror and pain that had been eating at him ever since he had heard those fateful words ‘officer abducted from scene'.

 

"You could never disappoint me."

 

Nick shivered at the whispered words; the broken voice woke memories from the hospital. He had been drifting in and out of consciousness, but one memory that had remained was that of Gil sitting at his bed, eyes red with unshed tears. His hand had been clutching at his own and the same words had been whispered over and over again. He hadn't understood then, but he did understand now.

 

Nick had suffered in that box.

 

But those searching for him had suffered too.

 

Watching him on the monitor had almost killed Gil... no, Nick corrected himself as he held Gil in his arms, soothing him with no words but his presence, no it hadn't been the watching that had made Gil die a little with each second, no, it had been the fact that he had only been able to watch.

 

A shiver ran through Nick as he imagined himself in Gil's position. It was sick, he reflected silently, but looking back, maybe he had been dealt the better end of this nightmare.

 

---

 

Gil broke too many speed limits to count on the way to the burial site. There was nothing that could stop him and knowing that, they didn't even try. And then he was there...

 

They had found him, had found Nick. Gil watched with a pained heart as Nick's coffin... no his prison was finally freed from dirt. He was there immediately, and that's when he saw Nick, saw his face, saw the pain in his eyes...

 

"Love"

 

Nick cried out, struggled and fought and yet there was something sluggish in his movements, something uncoordinated and Gil's heart stopped for a second as he understood.

 

"Get the lid off… he's used up all air... please get the lid off..."

 

He was shouting, screaming at the others. But they were oblivious, stood there and looked down at their friend and colleague, looked at Nick not seeing that he was dying under their gaze. Terrified he saw Nick look at him, saw the tears that ran over his face and read his lips as his lover spoke.

 

‘I never wanted to disappoint you... I love you...'

 

He saw the moment when Nick's breathing hitched and frantically he screamed and tried to reach out, to run towards his lover. But as he stretched his arms, he felt glass against his palms and looking around he gasped in horror. He was surrounded by glass, stood inside a box similar to the one Nicky was in and suddenly he understood why no one heard him, why they didn't see what he saw. And with a pained cry he fought against the glass, his eyes never leaving Nicky.

 

"Get him out... please, someone, please get him out"

 

Still no one heard him and frantically Gil pounded at the glass, tried to break it but instead of breaking free, the walls seemed to close in and then suddenly there was another voice inside his cage. A voice full of venom and hatred...

 

"What does Nick Stokes mean to you? How do you feel when you see him in that coffin? Does your soul die every time you push that button? How do you feel, knowing that there's nothing you can do to get him out of that hell?  Helpless ... useless ... impotent?"

 

Walter Gordon's voice resonated through his prison as he pleaded with fate, to spare Nick. Once more did he try and make the others see, once more he cried out, but even as he willed Nick to stay with him, he saw the moment when the dark eyes broke and he knew that Nick was gone.

 

"No, please no..."

 

His legs gave in and once more he pounded at his glass prison only to find the walls giving way and freeing him. Sobbing he walked towards the now open box, no coffin and looked down at Nick.

 

His lover...

 

His heart...

 

His soul...

 

Dead

 

And with an anguished cry he broke down, caressed Nick's face and pleaded with him to come back to him, cursed him for leaving him... promised him to follow... but even as he tried to hold onto his lover, strong hands tore him away and no matter how strong he fought, he was overpowered...

 

"Gil"

 

It was hardship to open his eyes, but as he did it was Nick's face that he saw and with a jerk he understood that nothing had been real, that it had all been a dream. Still though he wasn't sure, wasn't sure if this wasn't the dream...

 

"Gil, look at me"

 

Strong, confident and as he really looked at Nick he saw the fading marks from the ant bites, saw the pain in the dark eyes, saw the memories and he knew it was real.

 

Nick was safe.

 

They had found him in time. Yet the tremors raced through his body, memories of this terrible moment when Nick's eyes had broken behind that glass.

 

"Talk to me, love, please you're scaring me."

 

Nick's voice was trembling too now and that more than anything drew Gil from his stupor and instinctively he pulled Nick against his body, only to feel strong arms around him. It was then when he realized that he was held, he was sheltered and the warmth of feeling safe penetrated his body and mind. He finally relaxed and slowly found the strength to talk.

 

"We had found you... but they wouldn't open the lid and I... I was trapped in a glass box myself... I saw how you fought for air and I cried out for them to save you, to open the lid, to get you out... but they just stood there and looked at you and then..."

 

He couldn't talk anymore and felt the aftershocks wracking his body, felt tears clouding his eyes and silently he cursed himself for being so weak, for bothering Nick with his neediness, but his lover just held him close like he had four nights ago, when he had broken down the first time. Nick's presence, his silent and unwavering support, his love; it soothed the fear, ensured him that it really had just been a nightmare.

 

"I couldn't do anything..."

 

And that was the worst, wasn't it? Having to watch, not being able to do anything... not able to help…

 

"When I brought him the money... he taunted me..."

 

Gil felt Nick tense against him, but still he kept the soothing motions up, kept caressing him softly, encouraging him to speak.

 

"I asked him where you are and he kept asking me whether you were my guy... asked me if we were close..."

 

Just speaking the words brought the memories back and shivering, pressing his face against Nick's shoulder he repeated the hateful words that Walter Gordon had spoken to him.

 

"What does Nick Stokes mean to you? How do you feel when you see him in that coffin? Does your soul die every time you push that button? How do you feel, knowing that there's nothing you can do to get him out of that hell?  Helpless ... useless ... impotent?"

 

Nick's arms tightened around him and a slight gasp escaped him.

 

"Oh god"

 

Soft lips kissed his forehead, and then Nick gently forced him to look up. Gil met his eyes and saw the love and concern. There was something else there though and it took him a moment to read and understand it correctly. It was strength, strength and will and with a jolt, Gil realized that he had almost forgotten how strong his lover was, as he had been so wrapped in the need to protect Nick.

 

"I am here... you found me. He lost Gil, he lost everything and we still have all."

 

The words slowly penetrated his mind and once more he felt shivers all over his body, then though he let go of the fear and lifted his hand to caress Nick's face.

 

"Yes, we have."

 

Nick moved against the caress, closing his eyes at the contact and for a second Gil's breath caught at the erotic sight. Ever since Nick had been released, their love making had been tame, slow and gentle, now though with the nightmare still in the back of his mind; Gil suddenly felt a passion and possessiveness in him that he hadn't felt for a long time.

 

He wasn't thinking when he covered Nick with his own body, wasn't thinking when he almost tore Nick's shirt of and then he finally had access to his lover's skin.

 

"I need you."

 

There was no time for finesse or foreplay, no time for caring gestures or loving words. He prepared Nick fast, even in his frenzied state aware of the tightness, even lost in passion conscious enough to not hurt his lover. Nick tensed a bit when he slid into him, and immediately Gil froze, afraid that in his need to be close to his lover he had hurt him.

 

"Move, please!"

 

Nick's voice was pressed as if he had to force himself to speak and still afraid, Gil tried to see his lover's face. Nick turned his head at the gentle prompting and Gil shivered as he saw the deep passion and longing edged in the beautiful face.

 

"Gil, please don't torture me!"

 

His voice was tight and finally Gil reacted to it and started to move. The slow slide in and out was almost too much, and soon he couldn't hold back, moved with the need and desperation that had festered in him since he had seen Nicky on the screen.

 

And Nick matched every single one of his thrusts with an equal fervor.

 

"Come for me..."

 

He barely could speak, but still managed the command and as Nick's body shuddered and jerked under him, as his lover's hoarse cry of his name sounded through the room, Gil finally felt it down to his heart.

 

Nick was safe, was his and the relief of that deep knowledge was enough of send him over the edge.

 

Much later, he still held Nick close, listening to his breathing, to the beat of his heart, when Nick suddenly spoke.

 

"It was almost easier this time..."

 

Confused Gil lifted his head and looked at Nick who was resting with his head on his chest. There was a thoughtful expression on his face and at the questioning look from Gil, he blushed a bit and shrugged.

 

"Recovering from this... I don't know, it certainly didn't feel easy, hell it still doesn't but it's like... I am not alone this time..."

 

Gil remained silent although something inside him wanted to stop Nick from talking, from reminding him of how often he'd come close to losing him. But he understood that Nick needed to say this.

 

"After Crane was arrested I stayed in a hotel for three days, and then Warrick persuaded me to bunk with him until I could move into my new flat. It didn't matter though, wherever I was, I woke up screaming or was too scared to fall asleep, because I always felt as if someone was watching me.

 

You know that I started working so much more then don't you? It was cause work was the only place I felt safe, cause there I felt that nothing could happen to me."

 

Gil's heart clenched painfully as Nick's voice wavered lightly.

 

"It wasn't until I was in that box that I understood why I had gone to work, why I felt safe when I was in the lab. It never was work, never was the lab.

 

It was always you."

 

Nick lifted his head now and smiled lightly. It wasn't the beatific smile he'd used to shower everyone with before, but for the first time since they had gotten him out of the box, Gil saw a shadow of that smile.

 

"This... the abduction and everything... it was terrible, but the aftermath? It was easier Gil... cause I wasn't alone, cause I had someone I could lean onto, someone who cares... Someone I trust with everything I am."

 

His eyes locked with Nick's and he saw a shiver of fear run through them.

 

"But do you know what helped most? It was the knowledge that I had to get well, that I had to pull through because of you, because I promised you..."

 

Nick swallowed and Gil was sure that they both had the same lump in their throats. To know that Nick had fought so hard only for him; it was incredible and scary in one.

 

"Thanks for saving me Gil... thanks for loving me."

 

His hand shook as he caressed the soft hair and once more swallowing against the tears in his eyes, he pressed Nicky close to him.

 

"I did it as much for me as for you."

 

They had gone through hell and back.

 

But they were not there anymore.

 

They were out.

 

---

 

"Something is missing."

 

Jim looked up from where he was lounging on the couch reading his book. Conrad was lying on the floor, resting his back from the stress of his day. The cryptic comment was unusual for his partner, and as he took a closer look, Jim Brass noticed the tension in Conrad's shoulders.

 

"What are you talking about?"

 

Tensing even more, Ecklie moved, got up and sat down next to Jim. His pale blue eyes fixed Jim with their gaze and shaking his head he told him about the unease he felt every time he thought about Nick Stokes' abduction.

 

"It went too easy, too straight."

 

For a second, Jim could only stare at his lover, and then he shook his head.

 

"Too easy? What are you talking about? Nick almost died in that box..."

 

He wanted to say more, but before he could, Conrad interrupted him.

 

"But he didn't... and because of that it just feels unfinished."

 

Even when they had been enemies, Brass had admired Conrad's cold analytical mind, and his ability to completely turn off emotions in the face of adversity. He had chalked it up to Ecklie being a CSI, now though, that he knew him so much better, he knew that the reason lay in Conrad's past and in the training he had received while still being in Special Ops. Right now though Jim wanted to scream at Conrad for the clinical assessment, and yet, once started, he couldn't help following the trail of thought his lover had made and with a shiver he understood what Conrad wanted to say.

 

"Walter Gordon had planned the perfect revenge for us, but it went wrong..."

 

Conrad finished the thought and Jim shivered at the implications.

 

"... and a man as meticulous as Gordon would never start something like this without a back up plan. He was a madman, but a genius."

 

It made sense, a lot of sense and as Conrad's eyes met his, Jim saw that his partner had already thought further. He was silent, waiting for Conrad to speak and felt dread grow in him as he saw how his lover's hand shook as he reached out for his water.

 

"I could contact some people from..."

 

Jim stopped the words with a shake of his head and saw the relief that quickly crossed Conrad's face.

 

"You don't have to tell me. It's enough if I know that you contacted someone."

 

Conrad closed his eyes and tenderly, Jim pulled him towards his body. He felt the tension in Conrad and soothingly rubbed his shoulders. Conrad's past was a wound he never spoke about, never mentioned, but Jim knew that it was there. He still remembered the Lower case, and how he had found Conrad after they had taken down the sniper. He had stood completely still watching the Bellagio fountain, and then suddenly he had spoken with a strained voice, words almost slipping out against his will.

 

It felt good to hold a rifle again, to have this power over a person's life. It's addictive, you know, this feeling of power, this feeling of playing god even if it is just for a short moment.

 

They hadn't been together then and still Jim had felt an incredible desire to hold Conrad, to erase that look of self hatred from his face.

 

It was the reason why I left the corps, why I left Delta. If I had stayed, this guy, Snowdon... it could have been me.

 

Remembering those words, Jim shivered and pulled Conrad even closer towards his body.

 

"Thanks"

 

Surprised Jim looked down and met Conrad's eyes.

 

"What for?"

 

The blue eyes clouded but Jim didn't let him look away, instead gently held his face with his hands.

 

"For not running..."

 

Jim shook his head and leaned down to capture Conrad's lips in a gentle kiss.

 

"I told you that I won't leave."

 

And maybe one day, Conrad would believe him.

 

---

 

 

"Gil, can I talk to you for a moment?"

 

He wanted to say no, but of course he knew that he couldn't. After all, he had been the one who had asked Archie to examine the tape and to keep his silence towards Nick.

 

"Sure what have you found?"

 

Archie walked into the room with his shoulders visibly tense and the quick glance he sent around before he sat down told Gil volumes about the discomfort Archie felt. He explained all his findings and led Gil through the procedures he'd performed and finally told him about his findings.

 

"The one thing I can definitely say is that there is a second person on the tape. I could isolate the voice, but there isn't much. All I can say is that it is a male voice."

 

Fear clutched at Gil's heart as he tried to process the fact that Nick's abduction had not only been Walter Gordon's plan. It wasn't so much the fact that there had been two men that scared him; it was the fact that only one of them was dead.

 

"There might be someone out there waiting for us to make a mistake. Waiting to finish Gordon's work."

 

Archie paled at Gil's words and immediately leaned forward his entire body radiating anxiety.

 

"You have to warn Nick."

 

He had to... but what should he tell him? How could he ever tell Nick about the tape and Archie's discovery? How could he tell his lover about this and not lose the trust Nick had in him?

 

Gil swallowed harshly and watched Archie leave. Alone at last, he looked at his hands, not surprised to see them trembling and a memory from the previous night surfaced in his mind.

 

"This... the abduction and everything... it was terrible, but the aftermath? It was easier Gil... cause I wasn't alone, cause I had someone I could lean onto, someone who cares... Someone I trust with everything I am."

 

He remembered how Nick had looked in that moment, how his dark eyes had been so full of love and trust and with a broken sigh he put the file with Archie's findings in the bottom drawer of his desk and closed it. It was childish and he knew it, but right now he couldn't deal with the implications of it, couldn't deal with the fear the findings woke in him.

 

And he couldn't bring himself to face Nick and confess the truth.

 

---

 

*Chapter 2*

 

Warrick Brown was Nick Stokes' best friend and everyone who told him anything different could just go and screw himself.

 

Especially if said anyone was a dumb ass cop called Officer Michael, especially if said Officer Michael was the cop who had left Nick alone at a scene, who had left him unprotected and had gotten him abducted, buried and almost killed.

 

And it had nothing to do with the fact that if it hadn't been for one single coin toss, it could have been Warrick.

 

So he had reacted completely reasonable, when the idiot of a cop greeted Nick with such an idiotic comment, hadn't he?

 

"Hey Stokes, great to see you above ground for a change"

 

Nick's smile had been forced and that had been enough to make Warrick explode. He had been close to screaming at Michael, when Nick's hand on his shoulder had stopped him.

 

"Stop it Warrick"

 

He had calmed down but sent one look at his friend that told Nick, they would talk about it. First though the scene and the job.

 

It was a simple looking accident, but the tire threads on the pavement spoke a different language and with a sigh, Nick looked at Warrick.

 

"Hit and run?"

 

He nodded and groaned. Hit and runs were not emotionally hard like cases that involved children, but they were often tedious and without success. It seemed as if working with Nick would be the only highlight this night.

 

It had become something of a rare occurrence, them working a case together and maybe it was only normal that Grissom tried to keep Nick as close to him as possible, still though Warrick couldn't help but resent it sometimes and at the same time chastised himself for this resentment. It wasn't a matter of the mind though, cause rationally he knew that Gris had suffered tremendously during Nick's ordeal and he understood that their supervisor felt guilty for not having been there for his lover, for not finding him earlier, but at the same time there was a part in him that screamed ‘me too' every time he thought this.

 

"I got glass and possible paint chips..."

 

Nick was kneeling next to the car and Warrick took a moment to look at his friend.

 

He had almost lost him.

 

The truth of that statement had a tendency to hit him at the most inappropriate moments like now and it always made him want to hold Nick, to pull him close and keep him save.

 

He wasn't the only one with those tendencies, had seen Catherine reaching out for Nick almost as if she wanted to shelter him and retrieve her hand with a shiver as soon as she realized what she was doing. Catherine felt the even more responsible for the entire mess, because it had happened under her supervision. Warrick shook himself from the introspective and started to walk around the car to search for any possible evidence. Soon though he felt Nick's hand on his shoulder and looked up in his friend's eyes.

 

"Vartaan is calling for a tow, let's do this right and in the lab."

 

A small group of people had gathered around them and as they walked towards the car, Warrick suddenly felt Nick tense next to him.

 

"You ok, buddy?"

 

Nick didn't hear him and looking at his friend, Warrick noticed with growing dread that he was shaking lightly. He had been like this a couple of times before he had come back to work, but since his return Warrick had never seen Nick like this. Concerned he followed Nick's gaze and his eyes fell on a woman. Unlike the other spectators who watched the car being towed, her eyes were fixed on Nick and there was an expression in them that made him shiver.

 

"Nick?"

 

He gently touched Nick on the shoulder and felt him shiver, before he turned and looked at Warrick. The deep fear and dread in the dark eyes made him shudder too and silently he asked once again.

 

"What has happened? Nick, who is she?"

 

Nick shrugged turned away.

 

"Nothing, she just reminded me of someone."

 

He walked past Warrick and put his kit away; Warrick on the other hand stopped quickly and took a picture of the woman. He had a feeling that Nick had not been entirely honest.

 

---

 

David Hodges had been observing people all his life. He preferred to be on the sideline and watch, rather than be in the middle of the action or as a friend had once said:

 

He rather wrote the review about a movie than star in it.

 

None of this had changed since he had moved to Las Vegas and yet he was intelligent enough to know that while still watching, he was part of the action too. Of course not at the forefront, but he was involved, and not, not that way, no sir, but he cared about people and so his focus had changed. Before, he had watched people and silently mocked them, now though he watched them to know how they were.

 

He had watched them even more after Nick had been buried.

 

It wasn't so much Nick he watched, because everyone in the lab did that. Whenever Nick was in the building, there seemed to be a special atmosphere, almost as if everyone was walking on eggshells. Hodges had noticed how only two people seemed to treat Nick the same way as before.

 

Himself and Conrad Ecklie

 

Ecklie was an enigma to him and because he wasn't around the lab so often, Hodges still had a hard time reading him and whenever he did it felt as if he was missing an important piece of the puzzle Conrad Ecklie was. Outwardly he clearly didn't like Grissom, and didn't seem to be too fond of Nick either.

 

And still he'd gone to mighty lengths in order to rescue Nick and ever since he had been rescued, Ecklie seemed more civil. Or actually no, Hodges mused while he watched the new lab tech try and get the copy machine to work. How someone with an MIT degree could be so frighteningly stupid when it came to normal life things? Anyway, he had realized that Ecklie had been more civil with both Grissom and Nick ever since their coming out.

 

Hmm... Hodges smirked, now that was an interesting angle, but the point still remained that Ecklie was the only one who didn't treat Nick with gloves, well apart from Hodges himself of course.

 

Grissom had to be on the other side of the specter, but then that was kind of to be expected. After all having your lover buried and almost eaten by ants tended to make you more protective or at least Hodges assumed; he never had had a lover buried, so he couldn't say for sure... So Grissom was hovering and clinging and everyone just let him. Hodges actually wondered how long it would be until Nick snapped and told Grissom to relax, but unfortunately Nick had too much sense of decorum to have such an outburst in public.

 

Shit, he would have loved to watch that and talking of watching...

 

"You know the copies won't come out just cause you stare at it..."

 

The new lab tech glared at him, what was her name again? He couldn't remember, but then she wasn't his type, so it didn't matter and he smirked.

 

"MIT and all that never taught you about such mundane things, did they? Guess you thought you'd have an assistant around for that..."

 

She actually growled at that and with his day made brighter, Hodges wandered over to the break room peaking in first. Greg was sitting there, reading some obscure surf magazine.

 

For a while Hodges just stood in the door and watched.

 

It was the common opinion that Greg had suffered the least through those terrible hours, and as if to support the statement, he didn't seemed to have changed much, but Hodges tended to disagree with common opinion, cause well, it was common wasn't it?

 

Greg had become more silent, and more determined, more mature and although Hodges would never openly admit it, he missed the jokes and the pranks.

 

"Hey Hodges... how's the lab?"

 

Was it just him or did he really hear a trace of longing in Greg's voice?

 

"Well it's still standing... the new tech has not damaged anything vitally important, apart from the copy machine... and the coffee machine... and oh, she ruined Jacqui's cookies..."

 

Greg looked positively terrified at the last comment and Hodges understood him only too well. There weren't many things that scared him, but a pissed off Jacqui definitely made that list.

 

"And any great new cases?"

 

Greg shrugged and looked anywhere but Hodges as he responded.

 

"Worked with Cat, had a dead body in a hotel..."

 

Worked with Cat, well that said it all. While Greg had become more distant, she had become annoying. Her mothering everyone was silly, because it wasn't as if she was responsible for putting Nick in that box. She seemed poised to make up for it, but instead of doing any good, she just managed to smoother everyone in her surroundings and Greg being the youngest of the CSI group got the most of her ‘care'.

 

It was interesting, Hodges thought, that she toned her mothering down whenever she interacted with Nick and he couldn't help but wondering why.

 

Had Grissom talked to her?

 

Or Nick?

 

Oh, boy he would have loved to see that.

 

"So Greg, when are you coming back to us?"

 

He saw the sudden tension in Greg's body and silently nodded, so he'd been right. Greg didn't meet his eyes, but his hands clutched the magazine as if it were a lifeline. It would have been funny, if it hadn't been so heart wrenching and after a second of consideration, he sat down next to Greg.

 

"You want to grab some food after the shift?"

 

Greg's eyes were huge when he looked at him, then though he grinned and nodded.

 

"Sounds good"

 

---

 

When Warrick finally left to get some results back from trace, Nick sighed and finally gave into the trembling that he had felt ever since he had laid his eyes on her.

 

Kelly Gordon

 

A shiver ran through him and he forced himself to continue working. It shouldn't affect him like this; she shouldn't have the power to affect him like this, but just seeing her, had made him feel as if he were back there.

 

She had looked at him and he had felt trapped.

 

How sick was that?

 

He felt the trembling that indicated another break down. He had learned to recognize it over the last few months. It always started deep in his stomach almost as if he had swallowed a butterfly, and then it would spread further and further until he had no control over his body anymore, until his chest felt too tight, until he felt as if he were suffocating.

 

Leaning against the car, he tried to get his emotions under control, but soon enough gave up and his legs gave in as he collapsed onto the floor. He hid his face in his arms as desperate sobs shook him, and then jerked back in shock when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Immediately he felt embarrassed and looked up into Sara's calm eyes.

 

"Sara, I..."

 

Shaking her head, she sat down next to him and just left her hand on his shoulder. He waited for her to say something, to tell him to get his act together, but she didn't, instead she just was there giving him support without words and slowly he got himself back under control.

 

"Thanks"

 

He still felt embarrassed, but she just smiled and asked him about his results. Nick looked at her thankfully and started to go over the details with her. Sara listened and questioned and soon enough his reaction of before was not forgotten but put in the background. Sighing, Nick thanked whatever deity had been watching over him that it hadn't been Warrick or Gil who found him like this.

 

"See you tonight."

 

Sara nodded and smiled, then when he was almost at the door, she called at him.

 

"Nick?"

 

He looked back and saw her smile hesitantly.

 

"It's good to have you back."

 

Surprised he didn't know how to react for a moment, and then though couldn't help the smile that threatened to split his face.

 

"It's good to be back."

 

It really was he mused as he walked towards the lockers; it was good to be back, to do something useful again, and to do the job he loved. For a while he had been afraid, had been scared that he would never get rid of the fear that something could happen, but he had fought and he had won.

 

It had surprised him to hear Sara say this, he thought as he turned the shower on. But it felt good to know. Refreshed from the shower, changed and ready to go home, he walked towards the reception when one of the girls sitting at the entrance called him out.

 

"Mr. Stokes? There is someone here for you."

 

He smiled at the young girl and looked towards the person she pointed and froze.

 

Kelly Gordon got up from her seat.

 

"Officer Stokes, I need to talk to you."

 

---

 

Warrick had run the paint chips, compared the tire threads and just done everything his job required. But now he was off the clock and he could do whatever he pleased and as he cut the woman's head from the picture and ran it through the facial recognition program, he suddenly felt dread crawl up his spine.

 

He had seen her looking at Nick and it hadn't been in a good way, she had had an almost crazy look and shivering slightly, Warrick wondered what it was that made Nick a target for nutcases. It hadn't been the woman's behavior though that had irked him; it had been the way Nick had reacted about it. His friend had clearly brushed his concern away and had since then avoided him. Nick never did that unless he was seriously bothered by something.

 

Again Warrick shivered.

 

Something was not right, but before he could think of anything, the new lab tech walked in and smiled at him.

 

"Hey, how'd your fight with the copy machine end?"

 

Her smile faltered and without saying anything she left again. Warrick grinned, he loved annoying techies. Just then the program announced a positive match and Warrick turned towards the screen. For a moment he stared at the name uncomprehendingly then he paled and cursed.

 

"Son of a bitch"

 

He wasn't sure whom he cursed though, the woman on the screen or Nick. Still cursing silently, he reached for his cell phone to call Grissom when Sara walked into the lab. She was pale and looked unsettled.

 

"I just saw Nick walk into an empty office with Kelly Gordon."

 

"Shit"

 

He pointed towards the screen and saw her pale even more. Praying for Grissom to pick up he pushed the call button and gave a sigh when the phone was answered immediately.

 

"Grissom you better come back to the lab. Kelly Gordon is here and she's talking to Nick."

 

For a second there was silence on the other side, then Grissom's voice came through and even through the static noise Warrick could hear the tight control his boss had over his emotions.

 

"Five minutes, if I'm not there by then, get him out of that room; get him away from that woman."

 

The connection was cut and Warrick saw Sara look at her watch.

 

"Five minutes"

 

---

 

 

Gil had to force himself not to break the speed limit. Had to remind himself that Nick was in the middle of a police building, was surrounded by other officers and friends. And wasn't that exactly what he had thought in the night when Nick had been out at that scene? A shiver ran through him and he understood suddenly what a victim had once told him after they had arrested her rapist.

 

I have lost my ability to trust anyone, Mr. Grissom. Even in the safest environment I feel vulnerable.

 

He knew that Nick didn't feel like this, not anymore at least. Of course his lover still had troubles going underground, and of course he had become wary of strangers, but it never felt to Gil that he had lost his ability to trust, at least not his ability to trust his friends and his lover.

 

Thinking back to the conversation with Archie, Gil shivered.

 

"Why did I tell him not to inform Nicky? Why didn't I tell Nick myself?"

 

The words echoed harshly in the empty car, but even as he spoke them, Gil knew that he would do the same thing again. He had failed to protect Nick from Gordon, and he would not fail anymore, could not fail anymore.

 

"Calm down."

 

He sat in his car for an entire minute and calmed himself, slowed his breath and forced the mask of indifference back on. He couldn't run into the lab and drag Nick away from her; Nick would never forgive him that. Even though everything in him screamed to run, instead he forced himself to walk slowly and nod at Bobby, even listen to his results from a test while he wanted to do nothing but head towards Nick.

 

He was Gil Grissom, the bug man with no feelings, no emotions.

 

And why was it so damn hard to remember this now?

 

"Gris"

 

Warrick's face showed his concern and Gil forced himself not to react to it. Instead he looked at the younger man with a calm face.

 

"Is she still here?"

 

Sara appeared behind Warrick and shook her head.

 

"No she left moments ago, you just missed her."

 

He didn't know where the relief came at that thought, but didn't dwell on it too much. Other matters were much more important right now.

 

"Nicky?"

 

Sara pointed towards a closed office door and he forced himself to wait for a second, before he stormed over and held Nick close.

 

"Thanks for calling."

 

Warrick reached out quickly and clasped his shoulder, yet meeting the younger man's eyes; Gil saw not only concern there, but also a warning.

 

"Nick's a friend Gris, a good friend."

 

He felt guilty and nodded, before he couldn't hold himself back anymore and rushed to the office where he knew Nick would be. Opening the door and walking in, he tried to steel himself against anything, but as usual, he wasn't prepared for the sight of Nick huddled in the seat, shaking and trembling in the same way as he had when they had gotten him out of the box.

 

Feeling his heart clench in pain, Gil walked over swiftly and kneeled down next to Nick.

 

"Nicky"

 

Gil reached out and carefully touched his lover's shoulder. Nick reacted immediately jerking away from his touch, and almost falling off the chair in the process. Gil acted on instinct and enclosed Nick in his arms holding him close, cushioning the fall gently. For a second Nick fought against him, struggled against his arms and the desperate whimper that escaped him, broke Gil's heart.

 

"Nick, I've got you, you're safe... please love, love look at me."

 

A shiver went through Nick and Gil saw Nick look at him. His dark eyes were clouded with fear and terror, but cleared even as another shiver ran through him.

 

"Gil"

 

Glad that Nick was back from his panicked state, he held him close although he wasn't sure who was actually comforting whom.

 

"Nicky, why did you agree to see her on your own?"

 

Standing up finally, looking composed and calm again, Nick shrugged.

 

"I didn't think much... she was on the scene Rick and I were working and then when she came up and told me that she needed to speak to me... I guess I wasn't thinking..."

 

Gil couldn't help getting angry and as he led Nicky out of the office, he stopped him abruptly in the hallway. He wasn't thinking about anything but the fear and panic he'd felt from the moment Warrick had told him about Kelly Gordon's visit.

 

"No you weren't thinking... God Nicky, why didn't you call me? Why did you not ask Warrick? Why for fuck's sake do you always have to do everything on your own?"

 

His voice had risen with the last words and he could see that people looked over to them, but he was too preoccupied with the memories of how he had found Nick, of the terror he had seen in his face and reaching out to caress him, he shook his head.

 

"Next time, Nick if she ever comes back here, call me... And god help her if she tries to hurt you..."

 

He wanted to say more, but before he could utter any other words, Gil felt a hand on his shoulder and looking up he saw Jim and Ecklie standing there. There was a serious expression in Jim's face and it made Gil jerk back to reality. A shiver went through him and he looked at Jim with a grateful expression in his face.

 

"You should continue this talk in your office."

 

Ecklie's voice was carefully neutral, and Gil looked at him skeptically. He didn't know how to act around Ecklie anymore, the fact that he had put up such a fight to save Nicky had surprised Gil, but somehow he still waited for the other shoe to drop and for Ecklie to stab him in the back fatally. Yet once more, Ecklie didn't take the chance to humiliate him the way he could have, instead just calmly looked at him and Nick until Gil felt five year old again. He could feel himself blush and without saying anything, he turned around and walked towards his office.

 

He didn't turn to see if Nick followed him. He knew he would.

 

"What was that Gil?"

 

Nick's voice was tightly controlled and as he looked at his lover, Gil could see the anger burning in Nick's eyes.

 

"Next time you want to treat me like a child, please why don't you sell tickets for the show?"

 

Gil froze at the hard voice and suddenly understood, really understood what he had just done.

 

"Nicky... I wasn't thinking... I..."

 

His words failed him, when Nick gave a harsh laugh.

 

"Yeah, it catches I know."

 

He reached out for his lover and silently sighed with relief when Nick didn't withdraw. Slowly, gently he pulled Nick towards himself and only when he held him in his arms, did he finally admit his fear.

 

"I am sorry... When Warrick called me, god Nicky, I was so afraid. All I could think of was that once again I was not there when you needed me, that once again I was too late..."

 

Gil felt Nick tense at the softly whispered words and then Nick withdrew from his arms.

 

"Gil, you are not responsible for what happened... I really though we were over this?"

 

Yes, Nick was right, they had gone over this time and time, but it didn't change what he felt and he couldn't help it.

 

"What did she want?"

 

A light shiver went through Nick, as he looked at Gil and Gil saw that the fear and terror still lurked in the dark orbs, hidden and stored away, but still present.

 

"She... I don't know, it was so weird Gil, she... she just sat there and then suddenly asked me how it had been, how I had felt in that coffin..."

 

By the time Nick's voice broke Gil was already at his side and held him close. Holding Nick safely in his arms, sheltering him with his love, he curse the woman who had purposely opened all those barely healed wounds.

 

"Nicky, look at me."

 

Dark eyes looked at him and he reached out carefully to caress his face.

 

"You are safe Nicky, safe. She can't hurt you, I won't let her."

 

He meant it, he would do anything to prevent Kelly Gordon from hurting Nick and once more locking his eyes with his lover he told him so.

 

"Let's go home"

 

Gil looked at Nick and held him close once more, before he released him.

 

"Let's go."

 

---

 

Green light surrounded Nick and he froze when he realized what it was.

 

"No"

 

He knew it was a dream, knew it because he remembered Gil's face as they had rescued him, remembered the mix of joy and horror, remembered the wonderful agony of sucking in the fresh air.

 

"They found me."

 

Nick spoke confidently, but as he reached out his hands collided with glass and with a shudder he realized that he was trapped once more. Yet once more he saw Gil's face, felt his hands on his body and heard a gentle voice telling him.

 

"No, it's nothing but a dream"

 

Another voice crept through him, a voice so full of hatred and glee and instinctively he tried to drone it out, but the voice persisted.

 

"Breathe quick, breathe slow, put your gun in your mouth and pull the trigger. Any way you like, you're going to die here... They will look for you but they won't find you... "

 

The voice grew louder and Nick felt himself give up, wanted to stop fighting and doubts crept in; had he only dreamed his rescue?

 

Had nothing been real?

 

"Come back to me, Nick, you are safe, I am here, you are safe."

 

Gil's voice was so close so full of love, that Nick suddenly knew that it was the truth and with a gasp he pushed hard against the box, pushed again and again until out of the blue his hands pushed against air and he was free. Shivering with relief and joy all he could see was Gil's face, the love in the blue eyes and reaching out he caressed his lover's skin.

 

"You are safe, I am here."

 

It was so easy then, to move, to get up and his eyes still holding Gil's he pushed himself up... noise exploded around him, fire licked at his skin and the last thing he saw before flames consumed him was Gil's face twisted with pain and horror. Nick screamed as he realized that he was dying, but what hurt even more was the realization that he wasn't the only one.

 

Knowing that he had caused Gil's death, Nick screamed and woke up.

 

For a moment he was confused at the darkness, and then he started to look around frantically for his lover. He couldn't think clearly, because all he saw was Gil's face surrounded by flames, all he could think about was that he had been the reason why Gil had died.

 

"Nicky... it's ok, I am here... you are safe..."

 

Gil's arms were around him and Nick slowly came back to reality, understood that it had been a dream and with a shiver he burrowed closer to his lover.

 

"I... I was there again..."

 

Gil only held him tighter, but he could feel the tension when Gil silently spoke.

 

"After her visit..."

 

It was only then that Nick realized another thing and looking at Gil he interrupted him.

 

"It was different Gil, I... I knew it was a dream... I got out, the box was suddenly open and I saw you... I got out, cause I heard you talking, heard your voice telling me that I was safe..."

 

He trailed of shocked when he saw tears in Gil's eyes, but his lover didn't make a movement to brush them away, just leaned down and kissed him.

 

"You're stronger than your dreams, stronger than anyone of us..."

 

Nick shook his head; he needed to tell Gil the rest of the dream, needed to warn Gil from something.

 

"The bombs went off and I saw you, saw you dying... you died because of me..."

 

Sobs shook him at the last words and Gil held him until he calmed down. Finally their eyes met and Nick saw that Gil's eyes were red too.

 

"Love, we both are safe... we both made it..."

 

Another shiver went through him and immediately he moved even closer towards Gil. For a long time, they lay like this, and then Gil moved and got out of bed. Nick heard the sound of the toilet flushing and wasn't surprised to see his lover return with a glass of water and a tablet in his hands.

 

"Gil..."

 

He didn't want to take a sleeping pill, but Gil's eyes told him that ‘no' wasn't an option and so he swallowed the slightly bitter pill and snuggled close to his lover. Drowsily he felt Gil's hands in his hair, felt the loving caress and fell asleep to the soft voice of his lover telling him that he was safe.

 

---

 

*Chapter 3*

 

Warrick and Greg walked up to the patrolling officer and nodded briskly, when he let them inside. Detective Vartaan waited for them and sighed when they approached him.

 

"Gun shot victim, one single shot to the head. Female, no ID on her, but the flat was rented by a Glenda Davies."

 

Sharing a quick look, Warrick and Greg split up and while Greg started to look for evidence at the door and the corridor, Warrick walked in the living room where their victim was.

 

The first thing he noticed, were the two glasses on the cocktail table.

 

"She had a visitor."

 

Vartaan nodded and mate a note in his booklet, while Warrick walked over to the side where the woman was lying on the ground. For a moment he was sure that he was hallucinating, but soon he felt as if everything in him had frozen.

 

"Kelly Gordon"

 

Vartaan looked at him carefully, his face mirroring the shock that Warrick felt.

 

"The Kelly Gordon?"

 

Feeling his heart race with sudden unease, Warrick met Vartaan's blue eyes and saw the same concern and dread in them that he felt too, as he nodded. This was too close and he was tempted to call in another shift and yet, which shift would be objective?

 

None, he decided and while he called for Greg, he pulled his phone from his pocket and pressed speed dial one. Catherine's voice was cool and professional as she answered and for a moment, Warrick ached for the connection he used to have with her, a connection forever severed when she had become his supervisor.

 

"Catherine, Warrick here... Listen I need you to talk with Grissom and then come out here..."

 

She responded immediately and he knew that she had heard his anxiety.

 

"No it's nothing about me or Greg, it's the victim... Cat, it is Kelly Gordon."

 

For a long time she was silent, then she spoke again and her voice shook with the same dread that had filled him as soon as he had seen the dead body of Walter Gordon's daughter.

 

Too close...

 

Too close to home...

 

What if one of them had fired that shot?

 

Warrick recoiled from that thought even as it entered his mind, he refused to even consider the idea and yet once that he had allowed it in, it hooked itself into his brain. He had never been called upon, but when Nick had been buried in that box, Warrick had asked Ecklie to give him only five minutes with the one who had done it. Ecklie had looked at him with cold, hard eyes and simply asked why.

 

Cause I want him to understand what fear is.

 

Thinking back later, he had shrunk back from that anger and hatred that had driven him, had tried to reason, that it had been his way of dealing with fear. Yet ever since that night, Warrick knew that he would be able to kill a person in order to protect those he loved.

 

What if the others had had similar revelations? What if one of them had acted on it?

 

Catherine walked into the room and stopped dead as she saw the body, Warrick met her eyes and shivered as he saw a mixture of horror and relief in face and once again the thought rose in him, taunting him with the fear it evoked in his body.

 

What if one of them had anything to do with it?

 

"I told Gil, he and Nick will stay in the lab and take over our open cases."

 

Her voice was completely calm, devoid of any emotion but her hand shook as she reached out for one of the glasses and lifted it.

 

"No lipstick... male visitor?"

 

Finally Warrick remembered that he had a job to do and looking over he saw Greg stand in a corner, his eyes fixed on the dead woman. As if he were feeling his gaze, Greg looked up.

 

"Does it make me a bad person if I am not sad that she is dead?"

 

His voice was steady and only a small shiver at the end showed what he was feeling.

 

"Are you aware, that we are the prime suspects for this?"

 

Catherine jolted around at Warrick's soft question, but as she met his eyes, he could see that she had had similar thoughts.

 

"We, the cops... hell anyone who helped finding Nick. Anyone who ever spoke to Nick..."

 

Vartaan's voice was hard, but at the same time it calmed them all down enough to start processing. Warrick grabbed the glasses carefully, and placed them in bags. Hopefully they would get some prints from them or if they were really lucky, then they would be able to collect some DNA.

 

Walking over to dust the table, he looked up when Greg stood next to him.

 

"Not one print, someone really cleaned up behind them."

 

Seeing the same thing on the table, Warrick felt even his apprehension rise. Whoever had killed Kelly Gordon had cleaned up professionally and again the little voice in his mind spoke of his team. His imagination showed him with scaring clarity how Sara walked into Kelly Gordon's flat, saw her raising a gun, and Warrick swallowed as the mental movie stopped, some part of him was glad that he couldn't imagine Sara killing someone.

 

"Anyone checked the voice mails?"

 

Warrick shook his head at Greg's question and from the bed room Catherine's ‘no' could be heard. Greg pressed the button and the automated voice told them that Kelly Gordon had one new message. Looking up and staring at the tape, Warrick was unprepared to suddenly hear Gil Grissom's voice, but as he did, he froze just as Greg did.

 

Gil's voice was cold and hard and it seemed to resonate through the entire room.

 

"Ms. Gordon, this is Gil Grissom speaking. I would like to ask to you stay away from my partner and my lab. Your presence has once more disrupted the healing process of my partner and I will not allow you to do this again. If you have anything to tell him or have any questions, call me, but leave my partner and my team alone."

 

Warrick stood frozen in the now silent room. Gris' face when he had found out that Nick was in the same room as Kelly Gordon flashed in front of his eyes and he shivered in remembrance of that cold, contained fury. Grissom wasn't a violent man, in fact Warrick knew that Gil despised any kind of violence and yet... He had seen Grissom when they had rescued Nick and he had known then that in order to keep Nick safe, Grissom would kill.

 

And once more the taunting question seemed to stand in the room.

 

What if it had been one of them?

 

---

 

Sara was on the edge as she scanned the print she had lifted from the water glass. Something was wrong. She could tell in her gut, that something didn't fit as she looked at the crime scene pictures once more, but she couldn't understand what it was and so she just sighed and glanced at the computer while the comparison ran.

 

Nick and Gil had gone home; Catherine had basically ordered them to do so, saying clearly that she didn't want to have neither of them in the lab while they were processing the evidence from Kelly Gordon's case.

 

Kelly Gordon was dead.

 

Sara wasn't sure what to feel about it. On one hand she knew that no one deserved a violent death, and yet she remembered Nick's break down after Gordon's visit at the crime scene and was glad that Kelly Gordon would never be the cause of such desperate sobs anymore.

 

Kelly Gordon would never hurt Nick again.

 

Nick's face as he had walked out of the office in Gil's arms came to her mind and she shivered. Whatever Gordon had said or done, it clearly had reopened old wounds and she had wanted to scream in anger. This pale, trembling man, this wasn't Nick, not the man she knew and the fact that Kelly Gordon and her father had managed to reduce him to this state...

 

She sighed as she realized that this would be a hard case to work for her, or for all of them. Sympathy for the devil... She knew it was wrong and yet she couldn't help but feeling grateful for the person who had committed that crime.

 

As if on cue to her thought, the computer beeped signaling an affirmative match. Looking at the print, Sara unexpectedly felt dread rise in her and her hand shook as she pressed the enter button. For a moment the screen when dark, then the picture of the man whose fingerprints were on the water glass in Kelly Gordon's flat appeared and Sara gasped.

 

"No"

 

Her words made her jerk around and look if anyone had seen or heard her. Shivering she printed the picture and the match and then shut the computer down. Her hands shook as she grabbed the print out from the printer and once more she looked around to see if anyone was watching her. She stared at the name and she closed her eyes in despair, because although her heart screamed no, her mind told her to believe in nothing but the evidence. Sara was shaking with the turmoil inside her, as she stood there and then with a sigh powered the computer up again. Once more she looked over her shoulder feeling like a criminal before she took a deep breath and called up the scanned print. Her finger hovered over the button and with a last look at the print out she hit it and the little sand clock appeared before the computer message popped up.

 

‘Data erased'

 

Shivering violently, she turned away and walked towards the break room. To her it felt as if she was in a trance and maybe she was, as her entire world had suddenly gotten a feeling of unreality. She had just deleted potentially vital evidence, had tampered with evidence for no other reason than to protect a friend.

 

Sara stopped against the door and felt her legs shaking with the realization of what she had just done.

 

Would you do it again?

 

Grissom's face seemed to taunt her as she suddenly imagined him looking at her with disappointed eyes. But it was the question that threw her because; yes… yes she would do it again. Warrick and Catherine were sitting on the chairs, both reading something, both holding coffees. They looked up when she entered and Catherine tensed.

 

"Sara, what's wrong?"

 

Once more looking around she put the print outs down on the table.

 

"I got a match from the water glass."

 

Warrick and Catherine first looked at her then at the print outs and she could see how both of them tensed and paled. She knew why, knew that they were seeing something they didn't want to see...

 

Every person in the world had unique fingerprints, and right now they were looking at the prints of Gil Grissom.

 

"Gil..."

 

Catherine stopped anything she had wanted to say when Bobby came into the break room. The weapons expert was pale as he looked at the group of CSI's and somehow Sara already knew what he was going to say.

 

"You better come with me; I got the results back about that bullet that killed Kelly Gordon."

 

---

 

Kelly Gordon was dead.

 

When Catherine had called and told him and Gil, Nick didn't feel anything but regret at the message. Regret that the young woman had died without ever having a real chance in her life, but soon relief replaced the regret and that disturbed Nick deeply. It was wrong to be glad when someone had died. Still he felt as if a weight had lifted from his chest at the thought that Kelly Gordon would never again ask him about his time in the box. Shivering lightly, Nick wrapped his arms around his body for a moment, before steeling himself and forcing a smile onto his face. He didn't want Gil to worry; he knew that his lover worried too much anyway.

 

"Nick, are you ok?"

 

He couldn't help the slightly sarcastic smile that crossed his face at the question, how had he ever thought of concealing what he was feeling? Ever since his near brush with death in the Lower case, Gil had made ‘Nick-watching' his favorite past time and sometimes it felt to him as if Gil knew his moods better than he did. Getting up from the couch he walked over to the seat where Gil was reading in the Forensic journal. Frowning at the air of calm he displayed Nick shook his head.

 

"No, I'm not... Kelly Gordon is dead, one day after she visited me in the lab... Gil... how can I be ok?"

 

Nick swore silently as Gil looked up and blue eyes gazed concerned at him.

 

"What do you mean? Has anyone treated you as a suspect?"

 

He could almost see how Gil prepared for the battle ahead and he put a calming hand on Gil's shoulder before he shook his head.

 

"No, no one has... it's just... I feel relieved and I know that it is so wrong to feel like this."

 

There he had said it and Nick couldn't help but tensing. He knew how Gil hated it if he got too emotional in his cases, if he took the side of the victims and lost the professional distance, but for once his lover didn't lecture him about involvement and entanglement. Gil pulled him down, made him sit in his lap, wrapped in Gil's arms, safe.

 

"Nick, you're human... It is a natural reaction of the human mind to feel relief if a threat is eliminated and for understandable reasons, your mind did consider Kelly Gordon a threat."

 

Only Gil... Nick couldn't stifle the slight laughter and reaching out he grabbed Gil's hand and kissed it tenderly.

 

"Thanks"

 

Gil looked at him confused and the slight quirk of his eyebrow made him smile.

 

"You are the only one who can actually make me believe this."

 

Now the look changed from confused to slightly exasperated and with a bit more heat in his voice Gil told him.

 

"There is nothing to believe, Nicky! It is a scientifically proven fact..."

 

Nick didn't know what Gil wanted to say, but he found out once again that kissing his lover was a great way of shutting him up.

 

---

 

There was a tension in the bullet lab that Catherine had never experienced before. It wasn't a sense of urgency or anticipation because an important break through had just been made. No, this was a mixture of fear and disbelief and with a shiver she realized that it was exactly what she had felt when Sara had showed her the results from the analysis of the fingerprints.

 

"I didn't really think I would find anything on the bullets. They are completely standard you know, but then I ran them against the database and got a hit."

 

Bobby trailed off and his voice was devoid of the usual joy when he had found something. Instead he glanced at them almost as if he were debating on whether or not to tell them about his results.

 

"And you got a hit"

 

He jerked and nodded tersely before he pressed something and two images appeared on the projector screen.

 

"Left is the bullet from Kelly Gordon's body, right is the match that the database found."

 

It was a perfect match, every ridge detail fit; every little marker was perfectly identical.

 

"There from the same weapon, so who's the owner?"

 

Warrick's voice was calm and casual. Catherine looked at him sharply wondering if he hadn't picked up on the tension in the room, wondering if he had already forgotten about the fingerprint, but as she looked at him she saw that Warrick had not forgotten about anything. His voice and the body language didn't match at all. The voice had sounded casual as if this was just another routine case, but Warrick's body spoke another language, her friend was tense. His hands were balled into fists.

 

No, Warrick had not forgotten and suddenly something he had said when they had searched Kelly's room flashed through Catherine's mind

 

"Are you aware, that we are the prime suspects for this?"

 

Bobby's voice drew her away from her musings as he looked at each of them and finally answered the question.

 

"The LVPD... the weapon is Grissom's spare weapon."

 

For a second, Catherine was sure that someone was playing a cruel joke on her, but as she saw the same shock and horror on everyone's face she knew that this was no dream, no joke.

 

Follow the evidence...

 

She felt everyone looking at her, looking for guidance and steeling herself she started to tell Sara where to go looking, asked Warrick to contact Detective Vartaan when a voice interrupted her.

 

"You won't do any of this"

 

Ecklie's voice made them all turn around and with a shiver Catherine felt cold hard eyes on her.

 

"This is not your case Catherine; even more this is not a normal case. It's my responsibility and if anyone is giving directions here, it will be me."

 

For a moment, she couldn't do anything but stare incredulously at Conrad Ecklie. How dare he putting her into place like this?

 

Yes, she had accepted the move down going back to Gil's shift had meant, but after Nick had been abducted and with the added administrative duties, she had always thought herself as Gil's equal. Now though Ecklie told her with clear words that she was wrong. Looking around the room she saw equal amounts of disbelief and anger on Warrick's and Greg's faces. Sara though surprised her. Sara looked almost relieved. Catherine glared at Ecklie, but before she could say anything, he spoke again.

 

"You were going to treat this like another case, weren't you? Follow the evidence, gather the suspect, question him or her and then hand him over to the DA..."

 

He was not getting away with questioning her authority like this and looking at him coldly she replied or tried to reply.

 

"Grissom..."

 

But Ecklie didn't let her speak.

 

"Grissom is currently your prime suspect. If you play this by your rules, you'll end up with him as your only suspect."

 

She stared at him confused how suddenly he had become the one to defend Grissom and she the one to accuse him.

 

"Ecklie is right."

 

Sara's support of Conrad Ecklie made everyone look at her surprised, even Ecklie himself as Catherine noted as she glanced at him.

 

"If Grissom was set up, then who ever did it knew exactly how we work and what would lead us to Grissom."

 

Catherine could see the logic behind Sara's argument, but it still irked that she had to hand the case over to Ecklie. Watching him walk into the lab completely and closing the door behind him, she suddenly understood that her reluctance to make way for Ecklie was not only because of competition. There was more. Everyone in this room was convinced that Grissom was innocent, that he had been set up. Was she the only one who dared to think that he might have committed the crime? Was she the only one to look at the evidence?

 

"So we're going to ignore the evidence, because it's Grissom?"

 

They all looked at her and for a moment the room was silent. Then Greg, of all people, Greg, their youngest member broke the tension by looking at coldly.

 

"Do you think he's guilty?"

 

She felt four pair of eyes looking at her and with a jolt she understood that Greg had hit the jackpot.

 

"Yes"

 

---

 

Conrad sighed, when he heard Catherine's ‘yes'. He had always known that she had her issues with Grissom. Lately however it had been quiet and he had assumed that the unspoken issues had been talked about and cleared. Now it seemed he had been wrong. It was the worst possible time for her to suddenly question her loyalty to Grissom and making a quick decision he looked at her and fixed her coldly.

 

"Can you work on this case?"

 

She regarded him just as coldly and her answer was hard.

 

"Are you going to tell me that only people who think he's innocent are allowed to work the case?"

 

She was deliberately misunderstanding him, but for once it didn't irritate him and so he managed to speak calmly. He knew that she saw the steel in his eyes, heard the warning in his voice.

 

"I don't care if you think he's guilty or innocent. But unless you can deal with your personal issues with Grissom and your lingering guilt complex about Nick, you cannot work on this case."

 

He saw her pale and heard Brown take a deep breath. There had always been a connection between them, and he wondered if Brown would attack him now or not. Instead Brown surprised him.

 

"He's right Cat. You have issues with Gris and with Nick, just as I have, just as Sara has, but unless we all do our best and most professional work, we won't find who's guilty and who's not."

 

Ecklie saw how the two locked eyes and he wondered what was said in this silent conversation, then Catherine sighed and finally looked at him.

 

"I'll make sure you don't get interrupted by other cases."

 

Surprised at the development, Ecklie stopped her on her way out.

 

"I don't have to tell you to treat all details highly confidential, do I?"

 

Her eyes flashed for a moment, but she visibly composed herself.

 

"He is my friend Conrad, even if you don't believe me right now."

 

She walked out of the room without turning back and he sighed knowing that whatever the outcome of this case was, there would be a fall out from this conversation. For a moment there was silence in the lab as the remaining members of Grissom's nightshift tried to understand what had just happened, Ecklie looked at each of them and then looking at Brown he asked him to summarize their findings once more. Brown did and ended it with a personal comment.

 

"It's not about what I believe, but it doesn't make sense you know. I mean he cleans the entire scene but leaves a glass with his prints and potentially his DNA behind? And he uses his own gun?"

 

It had been his first thought too and with a nod he acknowledged Brown's comment, before looking at the four people in the lab.

 

"Brown, Sidle I want you to go back to the apartment. Search it, search the perimeter, we need that gun. Search the apartment, if anything stands out, anything doesn't add up, bag it and bring it back."

 

His eyes moved to Greg and he smiled as he saw the determination in his eyes.

 

"Sanders, I don't trust anyone with the DNA but you. So I need you to make an analysis of potential DNA on the glass and then I want you to go through Kelly Gordon's things. Anything you find, have it analyzed by Hodges or do it yourself."

 

He saw the nod, and was slightly surprised how Sanders didn't even complain about being back in the lab again.

 

"Dawson, your job is done for the moment. And I guess I don't have to tell you to mark the findings as confidential and treat them alike, do I?"

 

Dawson smiled and shook his head. His eyes met Ecklie's and he was surprised by the gratitude he saw there.

 

"Sure, no worries."

 

Looking at Brown, Sidle and Sanders he saw fear and apprehension in their faces and understood them perfectly. It was a shock when suddenly someone close was affected and this was too close, way too close. Sighing once more, he took a deep breath, and then spoke.

 

"Nothing gets communicated to anyone, is that understood? I don't want any of you talking to Grissom or Stokes. I will talk with Hodges and tell him. No one and I repeat no one else in this lab will hear anything about those findings. If you need assistance from PD, call Brass and not Vartaan. I'll talk to Brass and tell him what the deal is.

 

Once again, not a word to anyone in the lab!"

 

He saw the moment his words registered and he saw Sidle pale as she made the connection.

 

"You think someone from..."

 

She didn't finish, but as he kept looking at her, she started speaking again.

 

"Gris kept his spare weapon in his locker. No one had access but someone working here..."

 

She trembled lightly, but to his surprise she looked stronger now. Walking towards the door with energy and purpose she turned around right before stepping out.

 

"Thanks"

 

It was an ironic smile that crossed his face. Who would have thought that it would take Grissom as a suspect for his team to start liking him?

 

---

 

Hodges wasn't surprised that Conrad Ecklie was leaning at his door when he looked up. Ecklie had a habit of showing up in the lab at unexpected times and while it might scare others, it amused Hodges.

 

"Homesick?"

 

Ecklie grinned at the jab, but his face turned serious immediately after.

 

"My office please"

 

Now what was this about? Mentally going through the last couple of days, Hodges couldn't think of an incident worth him being reprimanded by Ecklie himself. Finally he shrugged and followed him to the corner office which he had obtained together with the new rank and the additional responsibility.

 

"What I tell you now, is confidential and I have to ask you to ensure that it remains like this."

 

Intrigued, he looked at Ecklie, but before he could even ask a question, Ecklie started to tell him about Kelly Gordon and the evidence they had found.

 

"I need you to work with priority on the trace evidence we find in this case. And I need you to keep your mouth shut. The only people that know are Brown, Sidle, Sanders, Dawson and Willows. That's already too many."

 

Some part of him had frozen when Ecklie had explained, but thinking about everything, he shook his head and looked at Ecklie.

 

"You have to talk with Archie."

 

Ecklie stared at him and when Hodges didn't say anything else, he impatiently waved with his hand. Despite the serious situation, Hodges had to smile a bit at the innately elegant movement. Sometimes, when Ecklie wasn't watching himself, his movements and body language contradicted his behavior and spoke of a deeply ingrained training. It made Hodges wonder who Conrad Ecklie really was.

 

Now though he pushed the thought aside and explained what he had found out when Archie one day hadn't been able to stomach the secrecy anymore.

 

"Archie found a second voice on the tape that Grissom secured from the box. Grissom asked him to keep investigating but not to tell anyone..."

 

Hodges trailed off as he suddenly realized that his words only made Grissom an even stronger suspect, but Ecklie didn't say anything, instead sighed and completed the sentence for him.

 

"... especially not Stokes."

 

For a second a quick smile crossed over Ecklie's face and Hodges was surprised to see that it was a wry and yet understanding smile and not the smirk he had expected.

 

"I'll talk to Archie... now I need you to go back and act as if nothing had happened."

 

Hodges left, but even as he walked through the corridors he couldn't help wondering what it was that drove Ecklie to take all those measures in order to protect Grissom. The man he had just left was not the man who had done anything to best Grissom and make him look bad in front of the sheriff.

 

---

 

Archie loved his job, loved being the one to discover things, and loved the idea of making the invisible visible and the mute noisy. But neither had been the reason for him choosing to work at the CSI lab instead of some fancy surveillance company or even some CGI studio. Archie liked to think that he could make a difference with his work, that he could help people not just in the broader sense of the word as in ‘making the world better', but on a small individual base.

 

Help a mother to find her child, give closure to a grieving husband, send a bad guy to jail...

 

Small steps and yet wasn't that what the entire butterfly theory was all about? Sitting opposite Conrad Ecklie, he thought about the little butterfly that flapped its wings in China and caused a hurricane in Miami.

 

Had he been the butterfly?

 

Had his discovery and subsequent talk with Gil Grissom led to the death of Kelly Gordon?

 

A shiver ran through him at the thought that his words potentially had pushed Grissom to kill a human being.

 

And yet even as he thought it, he shook his head.

 

He couldn't see Grissom kill anyone, or at least not in cold blood.

 

"Did you identify the voice?"

 

Jerked back to reality Archie looked at Conrad Ecklie and shook his head.

 

"I ran it against the database we have, but without a reference sample it's hard. The database is small and not really relevant yet..."

 

He felt himself start to squirm under Ecklie's intense stare and wondered what exactly went on behind the blue eyes that fixed him so coldly. Ecklie had the reputation of being more a political than scientific CSI something that most people despised and yet looking at him right now Archie couldn't help wondering if they all had underestimated Ecklie. Ecklie reached for the phone and dialed a number.

 

"Brass? Ecklie here, can you get me a voice record of Officer Michaels ASAP?"

 

Archie gaped at the older man while Ecklie tapped impatiently with his fingers on the table obviously waiting for Brass to finish whatever he was saying.

 

"Well, find a legal reason for god's sake, have him interview a dealer or whatever... Look I don't care, I just need a reference sample and I need it yesterday..."

 

Archie watched fascinated how a genuine smile suddenly lit Ecklie's face only to disappear as soon as it had appeared as he curtly said his thanks and hung up.

 

"I'll have Brass send the tape to you as soon as possible."

 

Their conversation was over, but Archie still didn't feel comfortable with the knowledge that he had just broken Grissom's trust in him.

 

"Will you tell Grissom?"

 

Ecklie looked at him then shook his head with a smile that didn't reach his eyes and twisted his face into a grimace.

 

"I'll tell him the truth, Hodges told me to talk to you and you folded under the pressure of my eyes."

 

At the last word a sliver of humor appeared in the pale blue eyes and now more than ever Archie felt as if he had fallen into another dimension.

 

"That's all by the way. Or no, actually if you hear anything about Kelly Gordon's death, if it doesn't come from someone who knows, report it to me immediately."

 

Archie left the room and sighed.

 

How did it come that everyone saw him as a perfect secret keeper?

 

---

 

"Catherine, do you have a moment?"

 

Warrick saw her tense for a second, before she turned around and looked at him. He had waited for her and finally he had seen his chance. Outwardly calm he strode into the room poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down next to her.

 

"What was this about in Hodges lab?"

 

She looked at him annoyed but he noted how she wouldn't meet his eyes.

 

"Cat, this isn't you..."

 

Now she looked at him and there was a tight smile on her lips.

 

"No Warrick, this isn't us. What has happened to letting the evidence speak? Warrick be honest with me, what would you have done, if this had been your average murder and if you had found this kind of evidence?"

 

He understood her point and yet could not understand it. Of course the evidence was damning and yet there were too many points that didn't fit. He still answered honestly though.

 

"We would have asked Grissom in for an interview, after all he had the motive, and we found evidence of him at the scene. But Cat, isn't this what Ecklie is going to do if he talks with Gris at home? You know very well that we can't bring Gris into the precinct like a common criminal..."

 

For a second he trailed off as he imagined the scene and a shiver ran through him at the thought of the mocking glances, the rumors and the comments.

 

"And if we talk about evidence that fits what about the evidence that does not fit? Cat, you know Grissom and he is no murderer. Gosh, if Kelly Gordon had been shot walking out of the lab after talking with Nicky, hey I would immediately have thought of him, but this? Cat, this wasn't a normal murder this was an execution and that's not Grissom."

 

Her shoulders slumped and Warrick understood that he had finally gotten through her and gently he put one hand on her shoulders, carefully drawing her against him.

 

"What is this really about?"

 

A shiver ran through her and with a sigh she finally shook her head.

 

"I don't know Warrick... It's... I feel so guilty for what happened with Nick and Grissom. But he never ever even spoke to me about it, he never told me whether he thinks I'm at fault and..."

 

It was then that Warrick finally understood. He understood that Catherine's behavior had nothing to do with evidence and what had happened to Kelly Gordon and everything with the night where Nick had been abducted and buried.

 

"I sent him out there."

 

Her voice broke and he held her close not caring how it looked to anyone seeing them.

 

"But Gordon buried him."

 

He had told himself the same thing over and over again, had tried to fight his guilt over the coin toss and in the end had given in and driven to his friend. Nick had not been back at work then, but his eyes had shone like before and his smile had finally resembled the dazzling one he had used to have.

 

"Warrick, what are you doing here, aren't you supposed to work?"

 

It had been then that Nick had realized something was wrong and without saying anything else had pulled him into the house and made him sit down on the couch. Warrick remembered how it had humbled him then, the fact that Nick had been the one to comfort him. Nick, who had been so badly hurt and yet had still managed to give support.

 

"I never blamed you... Warrick... when I was there, I never thought about the coin toss, I never wished it would be you instead of me..."

 

And then Nick had fallen silent until he finally had looked up and his eyes had been haunted.

 

"I've talked to Kane and Gil and surprisingly Sara... and you know I've realized that it doesn't matter who was buried and who not... you know I mean, my injuries are just more visible..."

 

Warrick hadn't understood then. He did now as he looked at Catherine, remembered how Greg had changed and had turned from the sparkling geek to the somber and dedicated CSI, remembered his own anguish during that terrible night. Yes, he understood now and once more shook his head in awe.

 

"You know what Nick told me when I came to find absolution for the coin toss?"

 

Catherine looked at him and he saw surprise in her beautiful eyes.

 

"Nick told me that he had realized that it didn't matter who was buried and who not... That in many ways his injuries were just more visible..."

 

A smile crossed over Catherine's face and for the first time since Nick had been abducted it was a real smile. It dimmed though and with a shake of her head she sighed.

 

"I acted like an idiot in there, didn't I?"

 

Warrick looked at her and grinned lightly.

 

"Yes, but don't worry, we all have our moments. I would suggest you talk to Sara though."

 

Now the light smile turned into a smirk and she punched him lightly in the shoulder. Warrick retaliated, but even as they mock battled, he felt relieved that at least this issue was cleared.

 

They had enough to deal with without having to watch their backs.

 

---

 

*Chapter 4*

 

Gil watched Nick from the side as his lover lounged on the couch and read the forensic journal. Nick had been shaken by Kelly Gordon's death, but it wasn't the fact that someone had shot her, that had unsettled him this much, no, it were the emotions of relief and almost gratitude. A small smile crossed Gil's face as he looked at his partner. Nick was unique and special, too good for this world. It was a clichéd saying and yet it somehow fit perfectly for Nick.

 

"Have you seen this?"

 

Nick looked up and pointed towards an article he had been reading. Intrigued he walked over to see what his lover was talking about when his phone rang.

 

"Grissom, this is Conrad. Are you at home?"

 

Surprised by the tense, but still friendly voice, Gil answered affirmative only to have Ecklie tell him that he was on his way over. Something like dread rose in his stomach, but he forced it down and instead walked over to Nick, sitting down next to his lover and looking at the journal.

 

"What did Ecklie want?"

 

Nick's eyes were open and curious and Gil couldn't help drowning in them. He had fallen in love with those eyes years ago. They truly were the window to Nick's soul and finally they were free of fear and pain again.

 

"He didn't say, just said that he was on his way over."

 

Nick shrugged and yawned a bit, feeling the residue of a night filled with nightmares and sleeping pills.

 

"He'll tell us eventually."

 

Feeling Nick's back against his body, Gil relaxed and let himself drift off to the silent sounds of Nick's breaths and the occasional rustle of the journal.

 

It was peaceful, he thought, peaceful, calm and loving.

 

Almost as if that day hadn't happened and a weight he hadn't known about fell off his shoulders. They would find the way back to themselves.

 

The ring of the door bell startled both of them, but Nick shook it off faster and jumped up to let Ecklie in, Gil got up slower almost tentatively. His good mood had evaporated the moment he had seen the seriousness on Ecklie's face and the solemn look in his eyes. Jim Brass followed him in and tipped his non-existent hat as he entered.

 

"Gil, I need to know where you were when Kelly Gordon was killed."

 

He heard Nick's gasp next to him and turned towards his lover only to see the shock and slight anger in the dark eyes. Smiling at the immediately defensive posture Nick had taken; he put a calming hand on his leg and turned back to Ecklie.

 

"I was here with Nick."

 

Ecklie nodded and made a few notes and asked him to go into more details, while Jim looked at Nick.

 

"We went home after Kelly Gordon's visit to the lab. Nick went to the shop to get some food, while I remained at home, had a shower and worked on a paper. We ate, watched some TV, and then went to bed. Nick had a nightmare in the middle of the day, we talked about it and went back to sleep..."

 

Jim nodded and still looking at Nick, he asked almost casually.

 

"When did you call her?"

 

Gil tensed as he felt Nick's eyes on him and without caring about either Brass or Ecklie he looked at his lover.

 

"I called her when you went to buy food. I just had to do something."

 

Nick's eyes were unreadable, but his hands trembled as he reached out for Gil. There was something tender and loving in the gesture even though he shook his hands.

 

"Why do you always think that you have to protect me?"

 

Gil felt himself blush slightly, then though he shrugged helpless. He loved Nick, wasn't it normal that he wanted to protect him from everything?

 

"Nick can you confirm that Gil was with you the entire night?"

 

Jim's words were calm, but there was an underlying tension that made Gil look at his friend twice.

 

"I was asleep, but I would have woken up had he not been there. I... I don't sleep very deeply at the moment."

 

Ecklie and Brass shared a look, but before Gil could think of anything else a thought struck him and he looked at Nick in shock. His lover had just lied. He had lied straight in Jim's face. A shiver went through him at the realization and he swallowed hard.

 

"That's not true; Nick took a sleeping tablet after his nightmare."

 

It was as if the room temperature had dropped at his statement. He could feel Nick tense next to him, but what worried him more was the look of dread in Jim's face.

 

"What is going on?"

 

He looked at Jim, but it was Ecklie who answered.

 

"We found your fingerprints at the scene, your DNA, and Kelly Gordon was shot with your replacement gun."

 

For a moment Gil couldn't do anything but look at Ecklie, the words still ringing in his ears, his mind unable to process them. His fingerprints... his DNA... his gun...

 

Evidence didn't lie.

 

And yet he had not shot Kelly Gordon.

 

It hit him then, hit him completely and with the understanding he began to tremble.

 

"I did not shoot her."

 

Ecklie looked at him steadily, and then sighed.

 

"Right now the evidence says different."

 

It was Nick who reacted to the comment, jumping up and staring at Ecklie and Jim.

 

"He was with me the entire night. He was here, don't you get it? He was here and I will swear it in front of any jury."

 

Gil saw the look that passed between Ecklie and Brass, saw that there was understanding in their eyes and somehow that surprised him more than anything.

 

"Nick, we believe you, but if you have taken a sleeping tablet no jury will believe you."

 

Nick stood as if he had been slapped. Gil saw how he tensed, and violent shivers began to wrack his body.

 

"No, you can't do this... Please Jim, you can't just take him away, can't just throw him into prison... Please Jim..."

 

Gil was shocked by the pleas and softly drew his lover in his arms. His eyes searched Jim's and as he saw the confirmation he spoke silently.

 

"They won't take me away from you... Nicky... You are safe here, you are with me..."

 

It took a while for Nick to calm down and it was obvious how he steeled himself as he looked at Ecklie and Jim.

 

"You can't honestly believe that Gil is the killer."

 

Gil saw the look that passed between them and answered for them.

 

"The evidence points to me, doesn't it? I had a motive, an opportunity and now the evidence tells you that I killed her."

 

Nick didn't say anything, but Gil could feel him tense, yet before he could continue, Ecklie spoke.

 

"The evidence points to you. What concerns us more right now though is not the evidence we found, but the evidence we didn't find."

 

Looking at Ecklie Gil almost did a double take as he saw clear and strong eyes look at him with an intelligence he had never seen in Ecklie before.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

It was Nick, who asked and Gil could hear the slight tremble in Nick's voice and reaching out with one hand, he drew him closer to his body. The immediate response of his lover, the complete relaxing of the tense muscles humbled Gil, but before he could dwell on it, Ecklie answered Nick's question.

 

"The rooms were wiped clean and yet we found a glass with Grissom's fingerprints and DNA. We have not been able to locate the weapon and yet could match the bullets to the spare weapon. It is too clean, too smooth..."

 

A wry grin crossed Ecklie's face.

 

"... and the glass and the bullets are mistakes that Grissom would not make."

 

Nick shook in his arms but before Gil could determine whether his lover shook with relief or fear, Nick spoke and he sounded tired.

 

"You speak as if Gil were able to kill a person."

 

It was a sad and yet understanding smile that now crossed Ecklie's face, but to Gil's surprise he didn't look at Nick instead locking eyes with Brass. They seemed to talk without words and before Grissom could even think about the implications. Ecklie looked straight at Nick.

 

"Gil is able to kill a person Nick. Had he had any implications that Kelly Gordon wanted to harm you, he would have killed her."

 

Pale blue eyes moved from Nick to Gil and Gil saw understanding and a deep emotion in there. Shock ripped through him as he understood and his eyes traveled to Jim seeking confirmation for what he had only understood right now. But before he could process the thought, before he could analyze it, Ecklie spoke again.

 

"Gil would kill to protect you whether you need protection or not."

 

Ecklie trailed off for a moment, then looking at Brass he finished almost silently.

 

"He would kill for you Nick, just as I would kill for Jim."

 

---

 

"Do you know what Catherine is up to? Is she really trying to get Gil behind bars?"

 

Warrick sighed at the incredulity and anger in Sara's voice. He could understand her, but since he'd been talking to Cat, he knew that it was something completely different. Now he only had to make Sara understand that too. Shaking his head, he suddenly realized that he had become the peacemaker in their little dysfunctional family.

 

Now how the hell had that happened?

 

"She's feeling guilty for Nick's abduction and couldn't really deal with the silent treatment she got from Gil."

 

His eyes moved over the pavement to the bushes and hedges that lined the little walkway between Kelly Gordon's flat and the street. He wasn't sure if he should hope for them to find the murder weapon or not, not sure what he should think about this case. It was a case that contradicted everything he believed in and their evidence was leading to Grissom. Warrick was sure that Gris had not committed the murder.

 

Absence of evidence can be evidence in itself.

 

It was not something that Grissom had taught him, but it was something that he had learned in his years as a criminologist. Now it was almost ironic that this belief might be the only thing that could save Grissom from getting convicted for a crime he hadn't committed.

 

"Warrick"

 

Sara's voice held the apprehension and as he turned around he saw that she held a pair of gloves in her hand. His heart jumped for a second as he saw that they were the gloves that the lab used, the same gloves he was wearing right now.

 

"I am not sure whether I am glad or not."

 

He nodded and watched as she bagged the gloves.

 

"Gloves and we find a glass with his print? I can't see him putting the gloves on and shooting her right after having a drink at her place."

 

He swallowed hard. In all the years he had worked for Gris, he had rarely ever seen him draw his gun and never seen him shoot it. And yet here they were, a woman dead, shot and Grissom's bullet had killed her. How had they ended up here?

 

"Let's get it back to the lab."

 

Sara nodded, but as Warrick started to walk away, she stayed behind.

 

"Go ahead, I just want to look around. Maybe I find something..."

 

Something, anything... Warrick understood what drove her and without a comment he left her walking down the street. In his mind though he made a mental note to call her in an hour just to ensure that she didn't lose herself in a task that very well might be fruitless.

 

Driving back to the lab, Warrick felt the anxiety in his body as his eyes fell on the brown evidence bag every once in a while. Gloves... He was almost sure that they had been used for the murder, but what if they found Grissom's DNA? How much more evidence could they hide?

 

His mind reeled to a halt right then.

 

They were hiding evidence, holding prints and DNA results back.

 

He forced himself to think of something else as he parked his car and walked into the lab to check the gloves for gun shot residue and potential DNS

 

What was he going to do, if he found Grissom's DNA?

 

---

 

"You've just outed us."

 

Jim saw the sudden fear in Conrad's face and shook his head in dismay. He had meant the comment as a joke and not as the reproach his lover obviously had taken it for.

 

"I'm sorry."

 

Conrad's voice was contrite and now more than ever, Jim cursed the need for secrecy that surrounded their entire relationship. He wanted to be able to reach out and comfort his lover, but all he could do was look at Conrad, trying to convey with his eyes what he really wanted to say.

 

"I'm glad you did it."

 

A quick smile appeared in Ecklie's face, but soon enough he looked brooding again.

 

"Just don't expect me to double date."

 

The mental image of Ecklie and Gil on a double date was enough to make Jim grin. His hand itched to reach out and touch his partner and something Gil had told him a while ago suddenly made sense.

 

‘I'm glad that Lower outed us, cause I am not sure if I had had the courage to to so. And yet, as it is I can reach out and touch Nicky.'

 

He wanted to say something when the phone rang.

 

"Ecklie"

 

Jim saw how Conrad's face got hard and tensed. He was silent for a long time, then sighed heavily and nodded.

 

"We'll be in your lab in a minute."

 

Putting the phone down, Conrad looked at him.

 

"Archie compared the voice recordings. They match."

 

It was like a punch in the stomach. One of their own had helped Walter Gordon to kidnap Nick. One of their own... Jim felt almost dizzy, but soon forced all emotion down and nodded.

 

"You go and see Archie. I go and bring the bastard in."

 

He could easily hear how hard his voice had become, and he knew that he would have to school his features so that they didn't his anger when he walked into the station. Every time he thought they finally got a break, something about this damned case reappeared and threw them onto another loop.

 

And now this...

 

Now one of their own was involved.

 

---

 

Hodges frowned as the results from the traces on the two glasses came back.

 

Lipstick and fingerprint powder

 

The lipstick did make perfect sense; Kelly Gordon had been a woman after all so the fact that she had been wearing lipstick when she had received a visitor wasn't a surprise. Neither was the fact that it was a cheep one, one didn't come out from prison and buy Chanel lipstick.

 

No, it wasn't the lipstick that made him shake his head and frown, it was the fingerprint powder. Hodges had been with the Vegas lab for long enough to know that Sara and Warrick would have bagged the glass before they started printing the room and he knew that Sara hadn't used powder when she had lifted the print using super glue instead.

 

So how in God's name did small traces of fingerprint powder get on the glass?

 

There was one obvious answer, but even in his mind Hodges shied away from it.

 

If the glass had been touched by someone using the powder before then a transfer of evidence would make sense. Pressing his lips together, he looked at the glass as if it were an offending item. But in truth he didn't see it, his mind back in the past, long ago during a quick conversation when Grissom had acknowledged his presence for the first time.

 

"You sniffed it?"

 

Grissom had looked at him with a slightly appalled look as he told him that the hair smelled of pines. For a moment, Hodges had wondered what he'd done wrong, when Grissom had suddenly asked something else.

 

"You're the new guy, aren't you?"

 

Surprised he had agreed and commented wryly.

 

"You think it's weird that I sniffed the hair..."

 

Inwardly he had had himself resigned to the fact that with this one action he had gotten himself a reputation as a freak. Instead Grissom had suddenly smiled.

 

"No, actually I think you've just impressed me for the first time."

 

And that had been it. He had been surprised and somehow annoyed and only later when he'd been sitting in the break room with Bobby and Greg, had he realized what kind of a compliment Grissom had just paid him.

 

Still staring at the glass, Hodges thought of how Grissom made people work harder, made them want to impress him without even trying to motivate them to do so. He had seen it with Sara, Nick, hell even with Catherine and he had found himself trying harder just to make sure he met the high standards Grissom set for himself and the crew around him.

 

"You trying to figure something out by staring at the evidence?"

 

Greg's voice brought him back from the memory lane. He looked up to meet concerned eyes and sighed silently.

 

"Found traces of fingerprint powder on it."

 

Greg paled and shook his head.

 

"It wasn't him."

 

He could hear the conviction, the stead fast conviction in Greg's voice and wondered if Grissom even knew how much they all were willing to put on the line in order to prevent him to get convicted for something he didn't do.

 

Didn't do?

 

Hodges pushed the thought away, but before he could say anything Greg suddenly grabbed him hard by the shoulder.

 

"Hey, watch out will you?"

 

But Greg didn't hear him, instead just stared at the glass.

 

"Greg, what's wrong?"

 

Still grabbing his arm, Greg pointed at the glass, his hand shivering with what Hodges recognized as excitement. Fixing him, Hodges raised an eyebrow and folded his arms waiting patiently for an explanation or maybe not that patiently, he thought when Greg literally began to bounce up and down.

 

"Spill it for Grissom's sake."

 

The bark made Greg tense, but inwardly Hodge was elated to see the sparkle light back in Greg's eyes. He had missed the happiness, the carefree funny and sometimes overgrown kid.

 

"This glass is from the break room."

 

The words registered but didn't reach his brain and dumbfound for once in his life, Hodges let himself get dragged through the hallway towards the break room. He didn't notice the smirks and stares they attracted just followed Greg and finally there, he stared at the glasses neatly stacked on the shelf.

 

He took one and dazedly walked back towards his lab and once there put it next to the one retrieved from Kelly Gordon's flat.

 

They were a matching pair.

 

Turning towards Greg, he wanted to praise him, but Greg was already on the phone to someone. Hodges could hear the excitement in Greg's voice as he asked whoever was on the phone.

 

"You still close there?"

 

Waiting for a moment, Greg rolled his eyes and Hodges grinned before making a mental bet with himself that it was Sara on the other side of the phone. If he lost, he'd go to the gym tonight; if he won, he'd treat himself to a nice burger...

 

"Warrick, you need to go back and check out the glasses..."

 

Bugger, lost the bet. Hodges groaned silently, he hated the gym, but well, he had lost a bet and he had always paid his dues even if it was to himself.

 

"Ok, so Sara is still there."

 

Figures, once in Greg's life he should have called Sara and what did the boy do? Called Warrick...

 

"See you in a second."

 

Greg didn't pause, just hit the speed dial again and then quickly briefed Sara or at least tried to brief her quickly. Hodges grinned as he saw the frustration in Greg's face. Nothing ever went quickly with Sara, nothing...

 

"Just go there, grab a glass from every sort she had and come back ok?"

 

Greg shook his head and looked at Hodges, who just grinned. Slowly Greg's features relaxed and a grin spread over his face until he smiled broadly.

 

"Sara"

 

Hodges smiled and agreed with the many unspoken emotions in the one single word.

 

"Sara"

 

---

 

Gil smiled at Nick. His body was shining in the warm lights of the candles, and for a moment he was so incredibly beautiful that Nick felt blessed. Blessed that Gil loved him, had stayed with him despite all his issues and a shiver ran through him as he once more understood that Gil really was his, that he was with him, that he could touch him.

 

His chest was faintly muscled, soft and strong. His lover was an older man and it showed in parts of his body. Nick knew that Gil sometimes was uncomfortable with those parts, but he loved them. It was Gil, was what defined him, it was him. Slowly moving over, he kissed Gil's chest, lick over the soft skin and his lover moaned lightly. Shifting lower Nick felt hands on his head, stroking through his hair, he heard Gil whisper his name as he caressed his cock with his lips and tongue. Gil shivered slightly and arched his body to get closer.

 

"Please Nicky... I love you!"

 

His voice sent shivers through Nick and he bent down not able to deny Gil anything. A deep moan escaped Gil as he caressed him with his tongue and Nick felt the beginnings of the shivers that indicated how close to ecstasy his partner was. He looked up and saw the love in Gil's eyes, saw the depth of his lover's feelings for him and he groaned with passion. Another look made him tense though as he saw the sudden fear in Gil's eyes and he screamed when hands tore him away from Gil's body. Nameless faces dressed in black surrounded him, held him back, forced him to stand back against the wall and he screamed once more as he saw them grab Gil, saw their cruel smiles and he tried to struggle, tried to fight them but he was frozen could only watch.

 

"Say good bye to your lover."

 

The voice sounded eerily like Walter Gordon and terrified Nick saw one of the dark figures raise a gun and point it towards Gil.

 

"He will die like my daughter did."

 

Nick screamed in horror as he saw the hand move towards Gil, saw the trigger being pulled and heard the gun shot.

 

He woke with a start, his entire body shaking and sweating and instinctively reached out. When his hand found nothing but emptiness, he tensed.

 

"Gil"

 

Slowly he walked over to the living room and saw Gil sit there in the dark.

 

"Hey"

 

It was a hardship to keep his voice light, to sit down gently and caress Gil's back lightly, when all Nick wanted to do was pull Gil towards him, feel his heat, listen to the heartbeat. But one look at the slumped form of his lover had already told Nick, that tonight it was his turn to give comfort.

 

"You alright?"

 

Gil didn't react, just stared at his hands and slowly Nick grew concerned. Giving into his instinct, he wrapped his arms around him, held him close to his body, only to find Gil's body tense and unrelenting against his.

 

"Gil..."

 

He couldn't finish his sentence as suddenly Gil turned around and Nick found himself pinned under the heat of his blue eyes.

 

"Why Nicky?"

 

Confused and slightly scared Nick frowned.

 

"Why what?"

 

He felt his lover pull back and used his own strength to prevent Gil from leaving his arms, something in his heart telling him that if he let Grissom away now, he could lose him for good. The thought scared him to death, but he kept his face bland as he waited for Gil to stop struggling and talk.

 

"Why did you lie to Brass and Ecklie?"

 

Surprised at the anger in Gil's voice, Nick moved back and really looked at his lover. Grissom was angry and yet there was something else there and Nick tensed when he recognized it: Fear

 

"I didn't lie to them..."

 

Seeing that he was about to be interrupted, he raised a hand and stalled Gil before he could say anything.

 

"Yes, I did take a sleeping tablet, but Gil don't you think I would have noticed if you were not in our bed? I wake up every time you're not here. And even more, I know you didn't kill her."

 

He could see the battle between anger, fear and relief in the deep blue eyes and wondered what he had done wrong. He really hadn't seen it as a lie, when he'd told Brass that Gil had been with him all night.

 

"No you don't know."

 

Shocked at the harshness in Gil's voice Nick tensed.

 

"You can't know and everything says I am the killer. Did you not learn anything all those years? Did I not teach you to look at the evidence? Why do you believe in me?"

 

It was hard not to get offended; hard to look past the accusation and listen to the fear in Gil's voice. They had been together for two years now and he had learned much about his lover. Gil was stubborn, caring and Nick knew that whenever Gil was afraid for him, he would try to push him away. It had almost worked a couple of times. He had learned though and so he swallowed the hurt and the anger and pulled Gil close to him once more.

 

"I know you. I love you. I don't need evidence Gil; I know you didn't kill her."

 

The body in his arms was still tense and with a desperate shiver Nick wished there was something he could say to break through the walls around Gil's composure. He understood that his lover's world had been shaken by the evidence found, understood that no matter how the case ended, it would take time for Gil to work through the fact that his credo of following the evidence had almost gotten him convicted of a murder he hadn't committed. Nevertheless, he needed Gil to believe him.

 

"I know you didn't kill her."

 

He repeated the words softly, but still got no reaction from his partner. Something flashed through his mind and he remembered a line from a book he had read as a kid and slowly he forced Gil to meet his eyes as he spoke the words that so clearly expressed what he felt.

 

"One can only see truly with one's heart as the essential things are hidden from the eyes."

 

Surprise made Gil's eyes widen and for a moment Nick feared that he had made a mistake, then though he felt Gil relax in his arms and leaned forward until their lips met. Their kiss was soft, gentle and full of emotions and as they parted for air, Nick heard his lover repeat the words he had said in their original language.

 

"On ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur, l'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.

 

----

*Chapter 5*

 

Conrad Ecklie had never liked cases which involved their own forces. And yet he had had to deal with them more often than he cared to count.

 

This case was different though.

 

Normally when they accused a police officer of a crime, they faced anger and hostility from the corps. Insults and thinly veiled threats were not uncommon and yet as he walked thought the precinct to get to the interrogation room where Officer Michaels was held, he saw no hard looks no cold assessing glances. Instead there was something akin to shame and sadness in the eyes of the men he encountered.

 

They all had searched for Nick Stokes that night, they all had prayed for the young CSI and although not all of them had seen the feed or the rescue, they certainly all had heard stories about it.

 

Nick Stokes had become a hero for his will to survive, for his mental strength that had prevented him from snapping and simply for being saved.

 

Ecklie turned around the corner and tensed when he saw the man standing at the window.

 

"Excuse me"

 

The uniformed officer turned around and looked at him. Ecklie and Officer Fromansky had clashed several times openly. Fromansky was homophobic and had made life hard for Gil and Nick, so hard that Conrad had finally done something he had promised he would never do again. A shiver ran through him and he pushed the memory aside forcefully while he watched Fromansky closely.

 

"Was he really a part of Stokes' abduction?"

 

Ecklie shrugged and gave the usual comment.

 

"I can't talk about an ongoing investigation."

 

The dark eyes fixed him for a moment, before he turned back to watching Michaels.

 

"Just let me alone with him for five and I'll tell you afterwards."

 

Ecklie was surprised at the words and it must have shown in his face, because Fromansky shrugged.

 

"Grissom proved my innocence although he had no incentive of doing so. I still don't like him or the fact that he's queer and doing Stokes, but what happened to Stokes was something I would never wish on anybody."

 

Cold hard words and silently Ecklie wondered what he should do with that, wondered how Nick would react if he knew that his abduction had turned a homophobic enemy like Fromansky into a reluctant ally. Sighing lightly, he opened the door and walked inside just as Brass finished his sentence.

 

"So why did you get involved?"

 

Michaels was pale, but his eyes met Brass' straight on and his posture was full of arrogance.

 

"I have not done anything wrong."

 

Ecklie sat down next to Brass and looked at the officer.

 

"Actually I disagree. You were part of the plan to abduct a CSI from a staged scene, you knew what was going to happen and you purposely left the scene. I think that classifies as something wrong."

 

Shaking his head, Michaels denied once more, but Ecklie just showed him the evidence.

 

"We compared the voice on the tape we found in the box where CSI Stokes was held with your voice and we got a match."

 

Michaels paled even more and immediately Brass jumped in which, despite the dire situation made Ecklie smile, Brass was a blood hound if it came to interrogating suspects and watching him was something he loved.

 

"You don't have to say anything, we've got you. So now why did you kill her?"

 

Ecklie saw how Michaels looked up in shock and shook his head frantically.

 

"No, you can't pin this on me..."

 

Sharing a glance with Brass, Ecklie harshly asked the now visibly distraught officer.

 

"Talk"

 

Michaels shivered but finally broke down and started to speak in a low voice.

 

"I didn't know what he planned. I knew he wanted to get revenge for his daughter, but I had no idea that he wanted to kill Stokes. Please you have to believe me..."

 

Ecklie heard the sincerity in the words, but still needed more to believe him.

 

"Was Stokes a random target?"

 

The silence that followed was telling and Ecklie felt how he started to tense as he thought about the ramifications of Nick not being a random victim.

 

"He was random, but Gordon... He had someone in mind, I think. He hoped for someone else, but when Stokes was there, he said that he would do. I don't know who he wanted. I... He told me, he would just ask for money and then let him go."

 

Cold replaced the tension and Ecklie repressed a shiver as he realized who Gordon had wanted to capture. He felt Brass look at him but forcefully contained any emotions and blandly looked at their suspect.

 

"How much did he pay you?"

 

Michaels looked up, his face pale, drawn and full of fear. He knew that he had lost; Ecklie realized and wondered if Michaels had understood that no one would help him once he was in prison. Michaels would be a pariah for both sides.

 

"50,000"

 

Fifty thousand dollars... Brass shook his head and getting up, he looked at the uniformed officer at the door.

 

"Take him away"

 

Then as they were alone, Ecklie saw his lover look at him.

 

"I remember a case where we were hunting three guys that had robbed a casino. In the end we found them all dead and realized that a cop had killed them and stolen the money."

 

Ecklie remembered the case faintly but didn't see the connection.

 

"Catherine said back then that 250,000 had turned a good cop bad and I still remember Grissom's comment."

 

Brass shook his head sadly, his eyes following Michaels as he was led away.

 

"Everybody has his price."

 

They were silent when they left the building and walked to their respective cars, but as soon as they were out of sight and ear shot; Brass stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

 

"Conrad what's wrong?"

 

Torn between relief and anger at his insightful lover, Conrad repeated the words Michaels had uttered during the interview.

 

"He had someone in mind. I think, he hoped for someone else, but when Stokes was there, he said that he would do..."

 

Brass paled as he made the connection and a shiver ran through him.

 

"He was talking about..."

 

Hearing Jim's voice trail off, Conrad finished the sentence for him.

 

"…me"

 

---

 

Nick knew that he couldn't stand it anymore, knew that the waiting was going to kill him and with a glance at Gil sleeping peacefully on the couch, he got up and grabbed his car key. He needed to do something or he would lose his lover.

 

Brass was not in his office, but Nick just sat down and waited for him to come back and hopefully talk to him. He looked at the few personal items on the desk, noted the picture of Ellie and wondered where Brass' daughter was right now. At the other end was a large pot plant that desperately needed some fresh water and right underneath the plant was a metal plaque. It looked like an old badge and for a moment Nick wondered whether the badge was Brass' old one from New Jersey. The picture on it didn't fit though as it was not the NJPD symbol instead some intrinsically woven sign. Curious now he reached for it, and turning it around read the inscription.

 

C.D.E.

 

Once and forever

 

CDE? Nick frowned then suddenly his breath stopped for a moment. Conrad Daniel Ecklie... Nick swallowed hard as he understood that Brass had some kind of honor medal of Ecklie in his room. He had known that the two of them were together, had seen it and heard it when they had come over to talk to him and Gil and still to see the tangible proof of it was different.

 

"I guess I should not have had it lying around like this."

 

Nick jerked around as Brass spoke next to him. He saw that he was looking at him with silent reproach but also with understanding and lowering his head he apologized.

 

"No, it's ok. I..."

 

Brass sighed and then got up and closed the door. Only when that was done did he continue speaking and with a wistful look he told Nick the truth.

 

"I just sometimes wish that we wouldn't have to hide it."

 

He understood what Brass meant and once more was glad that Lower had forced them out. Shaking his head he changed the topic and looking Brass straight in the eyes asked the question that burned in his heart.

 

"Is Gil still a suspect?"

 

Nick could see that Brass didn't want to respond and leaning forward in his chair he captured his eyes and held them as he pleaded with the friend not the police officer.

 

"Please Jim, just tell me if he is or not. Just tell me if there is anything I can do to make this accusations go away, please Jim, I am a CSI and just because I am personally involved that doesn't mean that I lost my ability to think."

 

He was making an impact he could see it in the deep breaths that Brass took, but still Brass remained silent and so he continued.

 

"Look you told me you found gloves from the lab, his DNA and his prints at the scene, you have a recorded message where he basically threatens her. He has a motive and although I know that I would have woken up despite the tablets, I can't prove it."

 

Just reciting the facts in the way he was used to and looking at them professionally made Nick tremble and his hand shook as he reached for the coffee.

 

"Jim, tell me something, anything... I can't lose him."

 

Now Brass looked guilty and finally Nick could see him give in.

 

"We have nothing new, I am sorry Nick."

 

Fear swamped him shortly and he shook his head.

 

"He didn't kill her."

 

Brass lifted his hands almost as if to show how empty they were and Nick understood.

 

"How much longer?"

 

This time Brass didn't even pretend not to understand and not meeting Nick's eyes he swallowed hard.

 

"Conrad has kept it under wraps for as long as he could, but if we don't get any evidence pointing towards someone else... A day or two..."

 

Nick closed his eyes and shook his head. He felt as if he were stuck in a bad dream, a nightmare worse than the one he had endured while being buried.

 

A day or two and then they would come and arrest Grissom.

 

"What can I do?"

 

He knew that his voice sounded hollow and that probably his eyes matched the sound and the look Brass gave him told him everything. Brass felt as bad about this as he did. Looking at the silver badge in front of him, Brass seemed to think about what he could say, then finally shook his head.

 

"Go home Nick, go home and talk with Gil, hold him, love him... Be with him."

 

Nick heard the unspoken words, the words that Brass didn't dare to say and another shiver ran through him.

 

Be with him... for as long as you have the chance...

 

He forced the tears back and looked up to meet understanding eyes.

 

"Thanks"

 

Brass reached out and clasped his hand.

 

"I'm sorry Nick."

 

---

 

Sara, Greg and Hodges all stood in the lab looking at the glasses with both shock and joy in their eyes. Two glasses were identical the others varied in size and shape. Two glasses and one of them had had Grissom's prints on it. They had found it in Kelly Gordon's flat and it had been their first clue that had pointed to their supervisor, the first shock as Greg called it.

 

"It should have been the first wake up call."

 

Sara's words were harsh, but she scolded herself as much as the others and Greg and Hodges nodded.

 

"Grissom would never leave evidence like this behind."

 

Greg agreed with her and still Sara could see that Hodges didn't.

 

"Why not? I mean the guy is not perfect you know, and we all know that had he been the one who killed her, it would not have been a planned murder but something just happening because he wants to protect Nick."

 

Sara felt annoyed at Hodges comment and yet she knew that he was right.

 

"He's not cleared yet by the way."

 

Yes she knew that too, Greg shook his head though.

 

"But if the glass is from the lab, come on Hodges, why would Grissom bring a glass with his fingerprints to a place where he then kills someone?"

 

Sara saw a shrewd smile in the lab tech's face and before he even answered she understood what he was thinking and answered for him.

 

"Cause Grissom would know that such a twist would change the way we look at all our evidence."

 

Her heart was heavy, five minutes ago she had been elated at the fact that Grissom was in the clear and now it seemed as if she had been wrong. With a wry grin she remembered that Grissom had always told her not to assume anything, not to look any further than to the evidence and with a sigh she did exactly that.

 

"So if the glass was moved from the lab to Kelly Gordon's flat, how did it get there?"

 

Greg looked at her and she could read the disappointment in his eyes saw it and understood it and still had to press down on any comforting feeling because right now Grissom relied on them doing their job.

 

"Anyone in the lab could have brought it there."

 

Nodding slightly, Sara looked pensive; something was nagging at her mind, something that had not been right from the start of this investigation.

 

"Including Kelly Gordon"

 

Greg's words were like a slap in her face and she looked at him. Greg shrugged and easily explained what he meant.

 

"She was here at the lab to see Nick only a few nights ago. They gave her a visitor's pass and called Nick, but when she left the room Nick didn't accompany her out because whatever she had said made him collapse. I saw the new receptionist escorting her out."

 

Sara still stared at Greg while his last words were dancing in her ears.

 

The new receptionist was escorting her out

 

And suddenly the wrong thing that had been so much in her face that she had not seen it was there, right in her face.

 

"The new receptionist"

 

Hodges and Greg stared at her as if she was talking in Chinese. But Sara knew that she was right and she suddenly understood that it had not been the case which had seemed wrong but the drama before, it all had seemed so staged and looking at Greg and Hodges in front of her she knew that she had to call Warrick and Ecklie, cause this was going further than they had thought.

 

"It was all staged..."

 

Hodges and Greg exchanged glances as she reached for her phone and she could clearly see how they were shaking their heads at her behavior.

 

"Warrick, can you come to Ecklie's office? I think we have found something."

 

She didn't wait to see if Greg and Hodges were following her as she strode out of the lab and towards Ecklie's office. Weird she suddenly thought how her relationship with Ecklie had changed, how his actions to protect Nick and Grissom had somehow changed her opinion of him. She still didn't trust him completely but she had understood that he was on their side.

 

For now at least.

 

Ecklie was looking up as she knocked and walked inside followed by Greg, Hodges and Warrick. His eyes were alert but wary and Sara realized that he was both hoping for good news and simultaneously bracing himself for bad ones. Waiting until Warrick had closed the door; she remained silent then started to speak.

 

"Hodges found out that the glass we retrieved from Kelly Gordon's flat; the one covered with prints was not from Kelly Gordon but from the break room here at the lab."

 

Her words had the impact of a bomb, but before anyone could say anything she continued to speak.

 

"I had a bad feeling about something right from the start. It just all seemed so staged."

 

Warrick nodded and she could see how he too was beginning to see the light.

 

"Then Greg told me that Kelly Gordon had been accompanied out of the lab by the new receptionist."

 

Now Warrick gasped and she smiled as he shook his head.

 

"Of course, that's what was wrong all the time."

 

Looking between them, Ecklie shook his head and Sara realized that he needed more explanations.

 

"Grissom specifically asked everyone at the reception to contact him if someone was coming to see Nick specifically. He was afraid that one day some reporter would show up and they promised him to watch out."

 

Warrick took over and continued for her.

 

"But when Kelly Gordon came to visit Nick, it was us who contacted him. The receptionist did not."

 

Ecklie didn't seem convinced but with a deep sigh he nodded slowly.

 

"She had access to the glass but what's her motive? Why kill Kelly Gordon?"

 

Sara exchanged a look with Warrick and silently suggested.

 

"Maybe we should ask her that?"

 

Ecklie looked at her and then picked up the phone, but before he made a call he looked at Warrick.

 

"Brown, go down to the reception and ask her if she could help us with anything. We don't have enough to hold her, but we can always ask her for help."

 

He dialed and Sara watched how he rolled his shoulder as if to remove tension, listening to the one sided conversation she could feel her respect of Conrad Ecklie grow.

 

"Judge Morrison, how are you?"

 

"I need a warrant for the search of an apartment. No, it's a bit delicate..."

 

"You have heard that Kelly Gordon has been shot, haven't you? It concerns the investigation into her murder."

 

Sara watched as Ecklie listened to whatever the judge said, then nodded and made some notes and finally spoke again.

 

"You know that."

 

Again he was silent, then smiled.

 

"Robert, I still am what I am. You know that too... Once and forever..."

 

She frowned and shared a look with Greg who shrugged. It sounded so mysterious almost as if Ecklie was speaking in a coded language. Once more she looked at him and saw a relieved smile in his eyes.

 

"Thanks you honor"

 

He nodded at the phone as Warrick came back and announced that the receptionist was ready to talk to them.

 

"Brown, I want you to observe the interview. Sidle, Sanders, you go to her flat while we question her and take a uniform with you. Judge Morrison is currently issuing the warrant."

 

He got up and looked at Sara before a smile crossed his face.

 

"Good work, Sidle"

 

Surprised as she was at the compliment, she was even more surprised how much it pleased her to get it. Still as she walked out of his office, she shook her head.

 

She had just watched Conrad Ecklie getting a warrant on the basis of nothing but a promise.

 

How had he done that?

 

---

 

Brass had not moved from his chair since Nick had left him. Nick's almost tangible pain had shaken him to the core and while he stared blindly ahead, his fingers traced the inscription on the silver plate.

 

Once and forever

 

Conrad had blushed when he had given it to him and told him that it was the code by which the Delta's lived and that his CO had given it to him when he had left the corps. Just a reminder, Conrad had said, just a reminder that no matter where he was going, no matter what he was doing with his life, he would always remember that he was a Delta first and foremost.

 

Once and forever...

 

How would he feel, if he were in Nick's shoes right now? How would it be, if Conrad were the one accused?

 

Brass knew what Nick feared, knew he was not only afraid of what could happened in a trial, but even more what could happen to his lover if they were to throw him in prison. Grissom had put too many men away, had too many enemies in those prisons. Nick knew that for Gil Grissom the death penalty would be decided by the other prisoners and not a jury.

 

Another shiver ran through him, but before he could decide on moving or doing anything, his phone rang.

 

"Brass, I need you to send a couple of uniforms to this address and then come over and prepare for an interrogation."

 

Conrad's voice was hard, short and clipped. It was the AD speaking and not the lover and a shiver ran through Brass.

 

"What has happened?"

 

He expected the worst, but instead Conrad's answer made him relax at least slightly.

 

"We might have found the person who planted the glass with Grissom's prints."

 

---

 

Warrick watched through the tinted window as Ecklie and Brass interrogated the receptionist. Marion Delaney had a cocky appearance and he knew that right now she had every right to be.

 

They had nothing.

 

No evidence, no facts pointing towards her.

 

They weren't even holding her; she could walk right out of the interrogation if she wanted to. They were talking to her on the bases of an assumption and the desperate hope that Greg and Sara would find something in her house. Warrick didn't feel good with what they were doing, but it was their only lead that didn't point towards Grissom.

 

They were grasping at straws.

 

How much longer, he wondered, how much longer could Ecklie keep the evidence under wraps, how much longer until someone notified the sheriff or the mayor?

 

How much longer until Grissom would be sitting on that chair?

 

Cursing at himself for getting distracted, Warrick focused on the interview that was unfolding in front of him.

 

"Why did you not call Dr. Grissom like he asked you to?"

 

There was a slight sneer in her face as she shrugged carelessly.

 

"They all treat Stokes as if he were something special, I mean come on, the guy got out there alive, so what's the big deal?"

 

Brass leaned forward a bit and Warrick could see how Brass was having a hard time to keep composed.

 

"Did you know Kelly Gordon?"

 

She seemed surprised at the question and for a moment Warrick could see how her eyes narrowed almost as if she was thinking about something, then though the arrogant mask fell once again and she shook her head.

 

"Never heard of her before she walked in and wanted to see Stokes."

 

His phone beeped and without taking his eyes from the interview, he answered it. Sara's voice came through sounding both excited and defeated.

 

"We found nothing pointing towards Kelly Gordon, but she has a huge collection about Grissom in her flat."

 

Confused, Warrick shook his head.

 

"What do you mean huge collection?"

 

Sara laughed and Warrick easily heard the light embarrassment in her voice as she explained.

 

"She's worse than I... I mean I have every article he wrote, but she had like every newspaper clip where his name is mentioned. There are even some videos with him giving statements and everything... We haven't looked at everything yet, but will take the stuff with us. Anyway, I just wanted to give you this as a heads up."

 

Was she a groupie? Warrick looked at the young woman through the window. She was probably twenty-eight, twenty-nine, tall, slender with dark hair. She was pretty, not handsome in the common sense, but there was something alluring around her, her confidence and arrogance melting into a very sensual combination.

 

A thought suddenly struck him and Warrick looked at her once more.

 

Had Grissom rejected her? Was this entire set up a revenge?

 

Something Brass had once told him came to his mind.

 

There is nothing scarier than a rejected woman.

 

It opened up other possibilities and Warrick sat down still watching the interview, but at the same time thinking about the new angle he suddenly saw. They had assumed that Kelly Gordon had been killed because of who she was, maybe even because of what her father had done to Nick.

 

Had they been wrong right from the start?

 

Warrick saw that the interview was over and he walked out to catch Ecklie and Brass before they went separate ways again.

 

"I got a call from Sara."

 

They looked at him expectantly and he pointed towards the meeting room next door and once they where there, he started explaining what Sara and Greg had found.

 

"Here's my theory and yes I know we don't work them, but hey Gris' time is running out isn't it?"

 

He didn't wait for an answer, instead just looked at them intently.

 

"What if we were looking at it from the wrong angle? We found Kelly Gordon and thought her to be the victim, but what if she wasn't the ultimate target? What if she was just means to an end?"

 

Brass was looking at him as if he had gone mad, but Warrick could see that Ecklie saw his point and nodded slowly.

 

"What if Grissom is the ultimate target?"

 

Looking at Brass and then at Ecklie, Warrick could see that they understood what he was trying to say and as if to prove him right, Brass nodded too.

 

"He rejects her, she wants revenge, and then Kelly Gordon shows up asking for Nick. She sees Nick break down or hears about it, hears about the comments Grissom made in public and decides she has found the perfect person for her revenge."

 

Ecklie frowned a bit, and then asked the one question that Warrick couldn't answer either.

 

"But even if all that is true, how did she get Grissom's spare gun? And where is that gun?"

 

And once more they were back to square one, Warrick thought and he cursed the fact that they still didn't have the gun. There was however something he could do.

 

"I'll dust Grissom's locker inside and outside."

 

Maybe, maybe they would find something that made sense.

 

---

 

*Chapter 6*

 

Grissom had felt Nick leave, but didn't move until his lover had left the house and driven away. He knew what a toll the entire disaster was taking on Nick and he felt guilty for putting his partner through this. Of course he knew that rationally there was nothing to feel guilty for but still he hated being the cause of Nick's worries and fears. Sighing lightly, he got up and walked over to the room that housed his insects. He watched them feed and while he made sure that the light and the temperature were ideal for the little crawlers, he tried to make sense of the case.

 

If it weren't him involved, he would have said it was a straight forward case.

 

A dead woman, DNA and prints at the scene and a matching bullet found inside her body, even better the suspect had a motive and left a threatening message on the victim's phone...

 

He closed his eyes against the onslaught of pain as his head suddenly pounded violently. Groaning he walked back to the living room and lay down on the couch.

 

He had not killed Kelly Gordon.

 

But everyone would believe he had.

 

How much longer until they came to take him in for questioning first and then?

 

"Gil"

 

Nick's voice seemed to be far away and as he opened his eyes he saw his lover as nothing more than a blurry form. His eyes watered from the effort of looking at Nick and he made a pained sound. Nick was immediately at his side.

 

"Love, have you taken anything?"

 

He waved with his hand, knowing from experience that shaking his head when the migraines were this bad was not a good idea.

 

"Hold on, I'll be right back with some drugs and some water ok?"

 

Nick disappeared and was back in what seemed only seconds. He held him up softly and helped him swallowing some pain killers, then gently held him as they moved towards the bedroom. Settled in bed finally, Grissom was surprised to feel Nick slip under the covers next to him.

 

"What?"

 

Nick's finger on his lips stopped him.

 

"Shh... I just want to hold you, be close to you ok?"

 

He heard the fear in his lover's voice, but he was too weak to say anything and so he just let himself being held soaking up the warmth and love coming from Nick.

 

"I won't let you go; I won't let them take you away."

 

He wasn't sure if he had heard correct, but then Nick kissed his temple and Gil heard him murmur the words again and he understood that Nick was making a promise.

 

"You will never be alone again."

 

---

 

Ecklie was exhausted, glad that the day was over and yet at the same time apprehensive at how fast it had passed. He was no fool; he knew that they were running out of time. Soon enough, he would have to answer to someone why he had not brought Grissom in for questioning. Soon enough, someone would ask why he had consciously overlooked evidence while following up on Kelly Gordon's murder.

 

What was he supposed to say then?

 

Looking at the watch he got up and shut his computer down.

 

Time to go home... time to shed the masks and become Conrad again, but before he could even get up his phone rang.

 

"We've got the gun."

 

Nothing could have woken him up like this and with a deep sigh, he nodded.

 

"Well done Sidle, where was it?"

 

She sounded as excited as he felt and with a dry smile, he noted that they might have more in common that he wanted to know.

 

"It was hidden underneath a stack of newspaper articles about Grissom. I'll have it analyzed as soon as we get back to the lab."

 

She disconnected without saying goodbye and he sat back for a moment. This was the break through he had hoped for. It gave them a reason to talk with Marion Delaney once again and this time they would have the advantage. The ringing of the phone made him freeze and for a moment he contemplated not answering it.

 

He knew better though and so he turned around and picked up.

 

"Mr. Ecklie, can you explain to me why I get an anonymous phone call telling me to ask you about the Kelly Gordon investigation?"

 

Sinking into his chair, Ecklie knew that the dreaded moment had come.

 

They had run out of time.

 

But at least he had a basis of arguments that spoke for Grissom.

 

---

 

Archie looked up as Ecklie walked into the room. His entire body language screamed of anger and frustration, but to Archie's surprise, his voice was friendly as he put a tape down.

 

"That's a record from an anonymous phone call that the sheriff got not even three hours ago. In it someone accuses us to purposely slow down the Kelly Gordon investigation because our only suspect is Gil Grissom."

 

A second tape landed on his desk.

 

"This is the tape of an interrogation Brass and I had this morning with a potential suspect. Can you compare them?"

 

He nodded and started to work when he noticed that Ecklie hadn't left. Throwing a glance over his shoulder, he saw him grin and shrugged.

 

"I'm not checking on you, I just need this analysis quickly."

 

Oh, of course and no pressure at all, Archie grinned, but then concentrated on the task at hand. Fifteen minutes later, he looked up again.

 

"It's the same person."

 

Ecklie grinned darkly and nodded.

 

"The net gets tighter. I like that."

 

It was a cryptic comment, but Archie understood what Ecklie meant and smiled as he left, then though he looked up surprised as Ecklie returned again with a rueful smile on his face.

 

"Thanks"

 

And he was gone again. Archie shook his head, who was this man and where was the real Conrad Ecklie?

 

---

 

It was one of the very few times when Hodges despised being a trace expert. He felt useless sitting in the lab, examining some random samples for Catherine's case while at the other side of the town Sara and Greg were running out of time.

 

"Hey"

 

Nick was the last person he had expected to show up in his lab, but one look at the haggard face, the haunted look in his eyes told him enough.

 

"Tell me you have something."

 

There was nothing of the usual Texas brawl in Nick's voice, nothing but hoarse pleading and once more, Hodges cursed himself and his job. Nick was one of the few people that had always treated him decently right from the start and he hated not being able to help him.

 

Not that he would ever say that out loud, he had an image to protect after all...

 

"Nick, you now better than to ask me. You're not on this case and I can't tell you anything."

 

He felt as if he were kicking a puppy as Nick closed his eyes and nodded silently.

 

"I know Hodges, but... I can't just sit at home and wait for them to arrest Gil."

 

Nick's voice trembled and Hodges felt his walls crumble. He reached out and patted Nick's hand in an awkward fashion before he assured him or at least tried to.

 

"Nick, everyone tries their best to make sure that doesn't happen. Have faith in us..."

 

But Nick just shook his head and walked out slowly.

 

"How can I have faith in the evidence, if it is leading everyone to Gil?"

 

---

 

"Why did you try to frame Gil Grissom for Kelly Gordon's murder?"

 

Jim's voice was cold but the anger and rage could be seen in his eyes. Conrad watched him closely, they had agreed to Jim starting the interview but his partner knew that he was close to snap. He didn't feel much better himself; he wanted to scream at Marion Delaney whose cold composure rattled him. It made him wonder whether or not she had a secret weapon they didn't know about.

 

"I don't know what you are talking about."

 

Jim fixed her and took a picture out of the file on the desk; Conrad saw the small tremble in his hand as he put it in front of her.

 

"You called the sheriff not even three hours ago and we found the murder weapon in your house. Do you have any idea how it got there?"

 

For the first time since Marion Delaney had walked into the interrogation room, she seemed tense, then she shrugged.

 

"Maybe one of your CSIs planted it there? I am pretty sure you are willing to do anything to get Mr. Grissom cleared. Why do you think I called the sheriff, this lab has a good reputation, but you are holding back evidence..."

 

Conrad raised an eyebrow and held his head slightly to the side as he studied her. Jim saw his look and nodded quietly, giving him the ok for asking a question.

 

"What are we holding back exactly?"

 

She shook her head and sneered at him.

 

"His gun obviously, the fact that he shot her..."

 

Her voice trailed off as Jim jumped up and glared at her, Conrad put one hand onto his lover's shoulder and Jim sat down again, their eyes met quickly and Conrad took over.

 

"How did you know that it is Gil Grissom's weapon?"

 

For a moment, there was silence then she glared at them, her eyes burning with emotions and Conrad felt a shiver running through him as he read the anger and hatred in her entire aura. It always surprised him how a recluse like Grissom managed to draw such extreme reactions from others. Smiling wryly he acknowledged that he had been no exception. His reaction to Grissom had been almost as extreme as Delaney's. Grissom had without doing or saying anything managed to antagonize him right from the start and even now that they had a certain understanding, he still didn't know what had caused him to dislike Grissom.

 

Now wasn't the time to think about it though and with a hard look, he prompted Delaney as she didn't answer.

 

"Miss?"

 

Her eyes were on him again.

 

"If you know it's his weapon, then you know he killed her... So why am I here?"

 

Jim leaned forward again, but with a warning look at him Conrad told him to keep silent, while he leaned back and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

 

"We know that he didn't kill her. We know you did. We just don't know why."

 

She jumped up but the guard in the room restrained her effortlessly, while she glared at Conrad. He could feel Jim's surprised look on him at the blatant statement, but his lover remained quiet. Conrad had a different method of interrogation than any of the other CSIs, but that had nothing to do with a disregard for the evidence as Grissom had once put it. On the contrary, Conrad valued the science of forensics highly, and still he had learned his interrogation techniques in a different place and he knew that while unconventional, they were highly effective.

 

"We know that you took the gun from Gil Grissom's locker. You knew exactly that he would not miss his spare gun for a long time; you had researched him for a long time, haven't you? You took the gun, wiped the locker clean and waited. Waited for the chance to get a second piece of evidence and you got your chance as one day Mr. Grissom left his glass in the break room. You took it, kept it pristine and once again you waited.

 

I think you waited for the perfect opportunity, the perfect victim and when Kelly Gordon showed up that afternoon you knew that this was your moment. You didn't call Mr. Grissom instead made sure that Nick Stokes spoke to her. You knew that he would break down, and you knew that his break down would cause Mr. Grissom to react emotionally.

 

And then you went to her, I don't know how you got into her flat, but once there you shot her and then wiped everything down. You knew that the clean scene would be noted by our investigators, you knew that we would draw our own conclusions... you planted the glass and left.

 

Now all you had to do was wait for Mr. Grissom to get arrested and when nothing happened, you called the sheriff."

 

She had paled while he had spoken, but as he just continued speaking without presenting her any evidence, she regained her composure again and as he had finished, she leaned forward and locked her eyes with his.

 

"Prove it."

 

Conrad kept his eyes locked, he knew that right now his eyes were as blank as if he were not thinking or feeling anything and he could see the moment when her smile started to fade, saw when she became the captive in their staring contest and he still held her gaze until she looked away.

 

"We will."

 

Nodding at the guard, he watched as the two officers led her away and then sighed.

 

"Now we better get some bullet proof evidence..."

 

---

 

Grissom's locker was full of fingerprints, but that was no surprise to Warrick. The outside of any locker would look the same and even though it would raise questions why a lab worker's fingerprints were outside Grissom's locker, it would not prove anything.

 

He was tense as he started to dust the inner wall of the door. This was their last chance he knew, and his heart fell as he saw how clean it was. Too clean, some part of his brain said, too clean for a locker which had been opened and closed several times a day.

 

Someone had cleaned up after them.

 

It was the first sign that spoke for Grissom.

 

The first piece of evidence that spoke of a third person and still Warrick knew that it was not enough. They needed more, they needed real, hard evidence and as he continued to dust the door, he suddenly tensed.

 

There...

 

A clear, large thumb print

 

Warrick's heart was thundering as he carefully lifted the print and closed the locker again. He wanted to run to the lab, but he forced himself to walk, tried to clamp down on the hope he felt until he had confirmation, but his gut told him that this was their break through.

 

The scanner seemed to take forever, and the search seemed to be even longer. Then though finally the system beeped loudly and with a shiver Warrick realized that this entire nightmare had started with exactly this sound. Looking at the open lab door he sent a little prayer that no one would see what he was doing and clicked on the selected thumbprint.

 

Marion Delaney

 

Warrick punched the chair with his fist and suddenly felt his legs starting to tremble. He had never really realized how tense he had been and now as he had the first real proof that Grissom had not killed Kelly Gordon. His hands shook as he reached for the phone and called Ecklie.

 

---

 

Sara felt excitement flow through her as she looked at the information she had just gotten from the background search she had performed on Marion Delaney. It had been a hunch nothing more that had made her look closer at the receptionist and when the first question mark had appeared she had been surprised.

 

Now three hours later, she wasn't surprised anymore, but shocked and yet elated. She knew about Warrick's findings and it matched what she had found. More even it matched the theory that Warrick had formulated when he had said that Kelly Gordon had just been a means to an end and the real target was Gil Grissom.

 

Her eyes flew over to the printer and she played nervously with the band of her watch. The printing took longer than ever, but finally the papers were out and she grabbed a marker as she began to read the results of her search.

 

"Sara?"

 

Greg stood in the door, his eyes large and excited.

 

"I've got something you need to see."

 

Frowning, she marked the page she had been on and got up. Greg was working in the lab next to hers, going through the evidence they had found in Marion Delaney's flat. He had sorted the dozens of newspaper articles into different piles, but it was the one paper that lay on the table that caught her attention. It was an older article from a forensic journal. Grissom had written about some bug and Sara was sure that she had read the article too. Still, the article wasn't what had caught her attention immediately.

 

It was the word that was written across the article in red letters.

 

‘Murderer'

 

She swallowed hard and looked closer. Greg watched her closely and as she saw what he had wanted her to find, she paled. On the side of the article, Grissom's picture was printed along with some of his biography, it was a younger Grissom that smiled politely on the black and white photo, but it wasn't the picture itself that had made Greg call her.

 

It was the target mark that had been drawn over his face.

 

"We worked on the assumption that she developed a crush on him while she worked here, but I think we're wrong."

 

Greg's words made her smile and nod. She already knew that but it was reassuring to see that Greg had come to the same conclusion from a completely different way.

 

"I know that we're wrong."

 

He looked at her and frowned.

 

"Why?"

 

Sara shrugged and walked back to the lab she worked in.

 

"I did a background search. Marion Delaney's real name is Janice Marion Cooper. She got married and divorced a bout a year ago and kept the name. She knows Grissom."

 

Pointing at the papers, Sara gathered her findings and left the office again.

 

"Greg, get your stuff and meet me in Ecklie's office. Warrick's going to be there too. We've got her."

 

Greg gaped, and ran off, yet stopped again and turned around.

 

"How did she know Gris?"

 

Sara smiled bitterly.

 

"She was his student."

 

---

 

Nick had been sitting like on hot coals for the entire day. Jim's words seemed to be stuck on repeat in his memory and they were all he could think.

 

"Conrad has kept it under wraps for as long as he could, but if we don't get any evidence pointing towards someone else... A day or two..."

 

They were fast approaching day two and he knew that soon enough their door bell would ring.

 

He looked around and at Gil who sat on his laptop and typed something. His migraine attack had ebbed down and he looked better, still Nick wanted to wrap him in cotton and hold him close. Gil had looked so fragile yesterday, so vulnerable and, Nick swallowed hard, so old. The age difference between them was rarely an issue, not after they had gotten together at least, but there were moments when the fifteen years between them hit Nick like a slap in his face.

 

Gil was fifteen years older than him. Nick shivered and pushed the thought away, he didn't want to think about what it meant for them, couldn't face the statistical facts that said that Gil would die several years before him and like he always did when those thoughts crept into his mind, Nick got up and walked over to Gil.

 

"Hey, you feel better?"

 

He wrapped his arms around Gil's body and rested his head on his shoulder. Gil reacted by leaning back himself and resting his own head against Nick. It was a tender, loving hug. There was no passion in this moment, just a sharing of peace, a mutual giving and taking of strength. Nick closed his eyes and took a deep breath, breathing in his lover's scent. Gil never wore aftershave, but he used a lightly scented soap and Nick had long ago learned to associate the unique scent of skin and soap with his lover. The warmth between their bodies made him relax and for a moment he forgot everything and just felt.

 

And then the door bell rang.

 

"No"

 

Gil opened his eyes at his whispered exclamation and turned around in his chair. Seeing the calm, resigned face, Nick wanted to scream at him, wanted to shake him, but he didn't. He knew that the calm was a mask and as their eyes met, he saw the naked fear in Gil's eyes. Leaning down, he caressed Gil's face and kissed him softly, and then he got up and walked to the door.

 

"Nick"

 

There was something in that one word, something so raw and naked that it almost broke him and he stopped in the middle of the hallway. Gil walked over to him and then they held each other tight and almost desperate and Nick shivered at the tension he felt in Gil's body. He wanted to say something, but had no words and so he could only meet Gil's eyes helplessly. The fear he had seen before had been pushed down and all he saw now, was love and determination.

 

"I'll be back soon. I won't leave you alone ok?"

 

Nick nodded, but Gil didn't let him go, held onto him despite the doorbell ringing once more, despite the knocks that came from the entrance. Gil still held him and his gaze never wavered as he repeated his words.

 

"I won't leave you alone."

 

They separated and Nick swallowed hard, his hand rose to caress Gil's face and with a sad smile he nodded.

 

"I know."

 

He stood back and watched as Gil opened the door and Detective Vartaan stood outside. He smiled friendly, but sadly as he showed his ID and asked Gil to accompany him to the station. Nick swallowed against his tears as Gil left the house. He felt helpless, hated it that he was unable to help his lover, that he was unable to do anything but wait. Gil turned around once more and they exchanged another look. He got into Vartaan's car and Nick was alone.

 

The silence in the house was deafening and shivering he looked at the white walls, feeling them close in, come nearer until he was trapped only this time, he was awake. He knew that he wasn't dreaming and that there would be no one to hold him if he woke up screaming and a shiver ran through him. Desperate, feeling caged he started to pace the room back and forth like a trapped animal as he wracked his brain to find something that could prove Gil's innocence until he finally sank down onto the floor with a sob.

 

If he hadn't taken the sleeping pills...

 

If he hadn't spoken to Kelly Gordon...

 

So many ifs and none of them could help Gil now.

 

Nick got up and studied the picture that hung on the wall. It had been taken in Iceland and showed one of those endless lava fields. It should have been a depressing and dark image, but instead it seemed calm and serene and he remembered something Gil had told him when they had visited the island.

 

"If you ever feel down or like you are not good enough or if you just can't go on anymore, think back to this place and how perfectly you fit into that majestic setting."

 

The hot pool underneath the glacier, the sun that had filtered through the ice... Nick closed his eyes and was there again. He felt the peace of the magical place flow through him and he remembered the love he had felt then, remembered how loved he had felt. Taking a deep breath, he got up and walked over to Gil's laptop. He still shivered, but he felt calmer and more determined.

 

He had to find a way to clear Gil.

 

---

 

*Chapter 7*

 

"That's not the way to the station."

 

Grissom kept his voice calm and neutral. It took an effort to do so, just as it was hard to make sure that his hands didn't tremble. He had tried to prepare himself for this, but as he had opened the door he had realized that no one could prepare for the moment when they were taken away from their home.

 

"We're going to the lab."

 

Vartaan's voice bore through his thoughts and Gil frowned at him.

 

"You arrest me and then bring me to the lab?"

 

For a moment, there was silence then a smile crossed over Vartaan's face before he spoke again.

 

"You're not under arrest Grissom; I didn't read you the Miranda right. Someone tipped the sheriff off about the evidence against you. He wanted you arrested, but Conrad and your team have found some other evidence and the sheriff gave them another twelve hours. He still wants you under constant surveillance and since we didn't think you'd appreciate a uniformed officer in your house, Conrad called me to pick you up. You can work in the lab and no one will think much of it."

 

Twelve hours... He guessed that Ecklie and his own team had already bent the rules for him, and he was sure that if they couldn't prove his innocence within that twelve hour window, he would go to prison. A shiver ran over him at that thought and he forced himself to focus on something else.

 

"What is with Nick?"

 

Vartaan looked at his watch and smiled.

 

"He should get a call from Warrick about now."

 

Despite his fear, Grissom couldn't hold back the smile and some of the dread he felt lessened. His curiosity came back and he replayed the conversation with a smile.

 

"Conrad?"

 

Vartaan laughed easily and shook his head.

 

"Don't worry; Brass doesn't need to get jealous. We're good friends, have been for a while."

 

Curious cause so far Grissom had never heard about Vartaan and Ecklie being friends. Of course he didn't listen to rumours, but he was sure that he would have heard and remembered something like that. Sensing an opportunity to find out more about Ecklie, Grissom looked at Vartaan. Conrad Ecklie was a mystery to him from his bitter behaviour at the beginning to his 180 degree turn during the Lower investigation. Even more intriguing were the things he just did; things like taking a sniper's rifle and hold a woman at gun point, things like being ready to cut his budget in order to save Nick's life...

 

Grissom had learned in the past two years that there was more to Conrad Ecklie that met his eyes and yet he didn't know anything about him.

 

"Where did the two of you meet?"

 

He was watching Vartaan closely and caught the moment of pain and memory that crossed his face. It was just a fleeting expression and immediately replaced by the neutral look in his eyes as he shrugged.

 

"A long time ago... So long that it was almost a different life."

 

He wanted to ask more, but they had arrived at the lab and as the car stopped he knew that he had to face reality. His hand was at the door handle, as Vartaan put a hand onto his shoulder.

 

"It's soon over."

 

Apprehensive and at the same time annoyed Grissom walked into the lab, where no one seemed to notice him or at least it felt like it. Lab techs looked up briefly some nodding, some saying hi, but none of them saying anything else. He reached his office and sat down shaking. Everything was as if it were just another day in the lab, as if nothing major had happened.

 

I was a ghost.

 

He remembered telling Warrick this and a shudder ran through him. Had he become a ghost here in the lab too?

 

"Grissom, great to see you."

 

He had barely finished his thought, when Catherine strolled in. She looked at him critically and sat down. He could see that she had something on her mind and waited for her to speak. One minute passed, another one and just as he was about to lose his patience, she cleared her voice.

 

"I wanted to apologize. When we found some evidence, I doubted you. Ecklie took me off the case... I... I just thought you should hear it from me..."

 

Her eyes were clear as she looked at him, still her words wounded him and he had wait until he was calmer before he could respond.

 

"You still believe that I am guilty?"

 

Shock registered on her face and she shook her head.

 

"No, honestly no! I guess I never really did believe it. I was just angry and felt guilty and then the entire mess happened and it was easier to blame you than be honest and admit that I was angry at myself..."

 

Somehow he had waited for an outburst ever since Nick had been abducted. He knew that Cat felt guilty because she had sent Nick to the scene. He also knew that it was more and that they had had issues before. The longer they worked together, the more Catherine had developed a problem of accepting him as her boss and it seemed as if everything had exploded at the worst possible time.

 

He glanced at his watch and shivered as he saw that three of the twelve hours had already passed. He forced his thoughts away from the case and focused on Catherine.

 

"It wasn't your fault and I never blamed you for anything."

 

Catherine wanted to respond, but before she could the door opened and Nick walked into the office. Grissom saw the excitement and joy in Nick's face and got up instantly. He was almost next to his lover, when he noticed Sara and Warrick.

 

"Gris, we thought you might want to watch the interrogation of Kelly Gordon's killer."

 

Warrick smiled and Grissom looked at Sara for confirmation. He saw the smile in her eyes, noticed how she seemed more relaxed and he felt himself relax in turn.

 

"Yes, I would love to."

 

They walked to the door, but he held Catherine back and looked at her.

 

"Are we ok or do you have other issues you want to discuss with me?"

 

She studied him for a moment, then smiled.

 

"We're fine."

 

No, they weren't, Grissom thought as his eyes followed her, but there was nothing he could do about it now and turning around he smiled at Nick who had waited for him. They walked to the interrogation room together and he felt himself relax even more. They didn't touch, didn't even look at each other and still he was aware of Nick and just as he entered the observer room, Nick stepped up next to him and smiled.

 

"It's going to be fine."

 

Grissom nodded silently, knowing that Nick's choice of words was not an accident. He had purposely not used the word ‘over'. The entire ordeal might end fine, but it would be a long time before it really would be over.

 

---

 

Ecklie smiled as Marion Delaney was brought in once again. He knew that she still felt as if she held all the trump cards in her hand and he would let her belief it for a moment.

 

"Why are you holding me? You have nothing against me!"

 

He looked at her for a long time and saw how her composure faltered for a moment. He nodded as if to acknowledge her statement before he spoke himself.

 

"You asked me to prove my theory and you know what? I can prove it."

 

She paled, but had herself under control within seconds, Ecklie however didn't intend to give her enough time to find her cocky self again and showed her the printed pictures of the thumb print Warrick had found.

 

"We found a thumbprint on the inside of Gil Grissom's locker. We ran it through the database and got a match. It's your print. Can you tell me, what you were doing at Mr. Grissom's locker?"

 

She swallowed and looked first at him, then at Jim, but she remained silent. It was alright with Conrad as he took another picture from the folder.

 

"This is a photo from a surveillance video. It shows you taking a glass that had been used by Mr. Grissom. You took it with you to the reception and put it into a bag. It's the same kind of glass we found at the crime scene."

 

Fixing her, he leaned over and shook his head.

 

"You asked me to prove your story. Now you better answer my questions."

 

His voice had become hard and cold and he could see that it affected her. Still she didn't give in and he silently congratulated her for her stubbornness. Conrad preferred to interrogate stubborn people, it was more fun.

 

"Everything you have is circumstantial. You can't place me at the crime scene, I didn't know Kelly Gordon, never spoke to her before she came to see Stokes, so why would I shoot her?"

 

A smile threatened to show on his face, but Conrad kept the calm mask. Marion Delaney had just made her first mistake and as she looked at him he met her eyes blandly knowing that it would provoke her to speak again.

 

"If this is how you want to save your friend, then you will fail. Gil Grissom had the motive, the opportunity and the weapon. Why don't you ask him about the murder?"

 

Once again he smiled inwardly and looking at Jim he nodded silently. Brass saw the nod and attacked like the blood hound he was.

 

"You had no motive to kill Kelly Gordon that is correct. But she was never your target was she? Kelly Gordon was just the perfect set up. She presented everything you had been looking for didn't she? We both know who the real target in your plot is, but what I don't understand is, why do you hate Mr. Grissom so much?

 

Did he reject you?"

 

She laughed at that and Conrad nodded relieved.

 

They had her; she just didn't know it yet.

 

---

 

Sara had been watching the entire interrogation and as Marion Delaney started to laugh at Brass' question she saw how Ecklie's shoulders relaxed. It had been weird to watch him question her.

 

"He's good."

 

She said it almost reluctantly, but to her surprise no one contradicted her instead she saw Grissom nod.

 

"Yeah, he is."

 

Warrick snorted a bit and as she looked at him, he shrugged.

 

"Once a bully, always a bully."

 

It made her smile, but to her surprise Greg shook his head next to her.

 

"He's not bullying her, he's just using the evidence differently than we do in an interrogation."

 

Grissom had turned away from the window and looked at Greg intrigued.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

Greg shrugged and pointed towards the interrogation room once again.

 

"Ecklie's conducting the interview like a dance and not just a dance, it's like a valse. He's leading her somewhere without her realizing it. Delaney still thinks that she's got the upper hand... We would have put all our facts on the table immediately and tried to pressure her into a confession

 

Our message to her would be: We know you did it, we can prove it, so you might as well tell us.

 

His message is: I have enough to convict you, but there are still loopholes for you to escape.

 

And I promise you, she sees those loopholes and as soon as she tries to escape, he's got her."

 

It was a surprising analysis, but as Sara turned back, Ecklie had just leaned back in his chair and looked at Marion Delaney.

 

"Your knowledge of the juridical jargon is amazing, Miss Delaney. How does a receptionist pick up all those terms?"

 

Greg's description of a dance wasn't accurate in her opinion and she shook her head.

 

"It's not a dance, it's like watching a cat stalk a mouse."

 

"I read a lot."

 

Ecklie nodded at Delaney's comment and shook his head.

 

"We know you do or should I say did? You know you almost had us fooled, when Ms. Sidle told me about the shrine to Grissom that you had in your flat, I was sure you had a crush on him, but that's not it, isn't it? You didn't collect all those newspaper articles about him because you've fallen in love with him. You collected them because you hate him."

 

Delaney had tensed and Sara saw that she was ready to attack Ecklie if he would continue speaking. Looking over to Ecklie, Sara noticed how he looked relaxed, but he too had tensed and with a start she realized that he was prepared to fight. His voice hadn't changed though.

 

"You were one of his students, weren't you? And not just some random student, no, you were one of his best students, one of his most prized followers. Tell me, how come he didn't recognize you?"

 

Sara kept her focus on the drama unfolding in the other room, but from the corner of her eyes, she watched Grissom. He had paled and walked closer to the window. A shiver ran through his body as Marion Delaney laughed harshly.

 

"I dyed my hair, bought lenses and trashed my glasses. But more important, do you really think, the mighty Gil Grissom would ever look twice at a receptionist? Forget it, unless one of us dies, he will never notice us."

 

Grissom stood still. He was tense and his hand trembled as he put it at the cold glass of the window.

 

"Janice Cooper"

 

He looked lost and Sara wanted to go to him and offer some comfort, but Nick was already there. She watched as he simply put a hand on Gris' shoulder. It was a simple touch and yet Grissom relaxed. He removed the hand from the window and covered Nick's with his. Sara smiled and turned her attention back to the interrogation.

 

"Tell me one thing Miss Delaney, did you marry Alex Delaney for his name or did you really love him?"

 

She shrugged carelessly.

 

"We got married, but it didn't work out. It's not a crime to get divorced, is it?"

 

Brass grinned at the comment, but Sara saw how Ecklie remained cold. He looked at something in his notes, and knowing all about Janice Cooper, Sara expected his next question.

 

"Why did you start to work for the man who had rejected your thesis and thus ended your career in forensics?"

 

Marion Janice Delaney tensed and Sara saw how her hands twisted into fists. They had her, and once more she remembered Greg's metaphor about the dance. It was true, she thought, as Ecklie didn't give Delaney time to recover but merciless continued.

 

"He rejected the thesis, but that wasn't all, was it? He publicly accused you of corrupting the science of forensics, branded you a traitor. You didn't get a degree and no college would have accepted you after his article. And all that after you had been his best student for such a long time. It really must have pissed you off."

 

He wanted to continue, but he had already said enough. Janice had been pushed too far and she jumped up. Her eyes burned as she tried to lunge at Ecklie, but the guard and Brass quickly subdued her.

 

"He's the one corrupting forensics; do you think I don't see what you're doing here? You're twisting evidence to make sure that he won't go down for Kelly Gordon's murder. You know what? You won't get through with this. What do you think a jury will say when I tell them about the hidden evidence?"

 

Sara had watched Ecklie, had noticed how he'd tensed even more as Delaney had jumped up, but still she startled as he slammed his fist on the table and leaned over to fix Janice Delaney.

 

"You should have accepted the offer to call an attorney. But you rejected and now I will spell it out for you. We have enough evidence to go to trial and believe me; the jury will convict you."

 

His voice was resonating through the room, but as if he had noticed that he had lost his control, he sat back again and spoke on calmer, his voice quiet and deliberate.

 

"It's almost ironic, you know. You wrote a thesis about the perfect crime and how the use of forensic knowledge makes it possible to commit it. Gil Grissom called the thesis unethical and rejected it, worse though he probably told you that you were wrong and that there is no perfect crime. You wanted revenge, but even more you wanted to prove him wrong.

 

You almost pulled it off. We had a murder, found the planted evidence and examining it, we had a perfect suspect. Gil Grissom had a motive, and as you said it was his weapon. You didn't know that Nick Stokes was still taking sleeping pills, but I guess you assumed it. It was the perfect crime, but for one thing..."

 

Sara saw the smile that now crossed Ecklie's face and there was something sarcastic in it, something hard and yet easy. It made her wonder what his next words would be.

 

"Processing evidence is just one part of the story; the other part is putting it in context. Processing alone will never get you to the right place, and you're evidence didn't fit the context we knew."

 

Seeing Grissom shake his head, Sara understood the smile. It was one of the ongoing arguments between Ecklie and Grissom. Grissom who believed unconditionally in the evidence and on the other side Ecklie who never just saw the evidence, sometimes even purposely overlooked it, if it didn't fit in the context. Sara could see the irony in the fact that it was Ecklie's way of seeing things that had in the end saved Grissom.

 

"Bastard"

 

The word was harsh, but Grissom's voice was amused and as she looked at him she saw a smile in his eyes. A light sob from the interrogation room made her turn back and she watched as Janice Delaney pointed at the picture of Grissom's gun.

 

"He always said that evidence never lied."

 

An amused smile was the only reaction and Ecklie managed to keep his voice easy as he answered.

 

"He was right, it doesn't lie. Your fingerprint inside his locker, his gun in your house, the glass you took from the break room... none of those pieces of evidence lied to us. But they didn't tell us the complete truth either."

 

He made a movement with his head and the guard cuffed Janice Cooper. Sara watched as she was led away and then turned her head towards Grissom. He was pale, but as he turned around and looked at each one of them, she saw that his eyes were calm.

 

"Thanks for believing in me."

 

For a moment she didn't know how to respond, because she heard the many things he didn't say. They were saved by Ecklie who opened the door and walked inside with Brass at his side.

 

"We got her."

 

Grissom walked over and Sara saw him and Ecklie exchange a look. They both smiled as they shook hands and as Grissom smiled once more, she had the feeling that there were many undercurrents in the simple gaze they shared.

 

"Thanks Conrad"

 

Yeah, she thought, definitely more than meets the eye.

 

---

 

He was cleared.

 

Grissom wasn't sure what to feel. He was relieved, but the fact that one of his students had set the trap made his victory look shallow. Worse even, had his team conducted the investigations in the way he had taught them...

 

"Nick, Grissom, one more thing; we have arrested Officer Michaels."

 

Brass' words stopped him as if he had run against a wall. Nick stopped too and frowned.

 

"Why?"

 

Looking at Brass, Grissom knew why and cursed his bad luck. He had still not told Nick about the tape, had never found the courage and now? Now he would find out that Grissom had betrayed his trust. His heart was beating faster and he instinctively made a step forward as Brass began to speak.

 

"He knew of Walter Gordon's plan and he purposely..."

 

"Brass, not here. In my office please!"

 

Ecklie had given Grissom another moment of relief, but as he followed Nick to the corner office, he had a feeling that he was walking to his own execution.

 

‘Don't make me lose Nick.'

 

‘You should have told him long ago.'

 

Two voices in his head, but he managed to keep the calm façade as he sat down next to Nick. Brown eyes looked at him concerned and a hand stole into his. He looked at Nick and smiled.

 

"You ok?"

 

Nick nodded, but before he could say anything, Ecklie cleared his voice.

 

"During the investigations into Kelly's murder, we examined the tape from your box. We found evidence of a second voice on it and managed to prove that it was Officer Michaels' voice."

 

Grissom felt Nick tense next to him, but he was too stunned to react immediately. His eyes met Ecklie's and he saw understanding in them. Flashing back to a couple of days back, he remembered something Ecklie had said.

 

"He would kill for you Nick, just as I would kill for Jim."

 

It made sense, he thought. Ecklie and he were very similar in this aspect, they both would do anything to protect the one they loved. Ecklie understood why he had not told Nick, because he would have reacted the same way in the same situation.

 

"He admitted to having been a part of your abduction. Gordon paid him 50,000 USD."

 

Nick shivered and this time Grissom reacted to it by putting an arm around his shoulders.

 

"50,000..."

 

Nick tried to laugh, but it came out as a sob and Grissom pulled his chair closer to Nick, pulled him towards his chest and tried to soothe him.

 

"I'm not worth much, am I?"

 

He wanted to reply, when Ecklie took a deep breath and spoke again.

 

"There's something else and I think you should know it Nick."

 

Ecklie's voice was tight and Grissom looked up concerned.

 

"Michaels confirmed that your abduction was a random hit, but he also said that Gordon had hoped for a specific CSI to get caught. That CSI am I."

 

The words were spoken so calmly that they took a moment to register, but as they did, Grissom tensed. He wasn't sure whether he was glad, that Nick really had been a random victim or whether he was angry at Ecklie for... for what?

 

"Why?"

 

It wasn't Nick who had asked, it was Jim. He was pale and his voice wavered as he continued.

 

"You've said that right after we arrested Michaels, but why would Gordon...?"

 

His voice trailed off and Grissom saw the moment as Ecklie's hand moved towards Jim, saw how he stopped and withdrew. His own hand was still clasped tightly with Nick's and once more Grissom was glad that he and Nick were out.

 

"He came to me after his daughter had been arrested. Swing shift had worked the evidence on it and he felt that they had not done a good job. He was sure of her innocence and pleaded with me to go over it once again..."

 

Ecklie's eyes were troubled as he looked down as his table. Grissom felt that he was reliving the scene again.

 

"He begged and in the end threatened me, told me that all CSIs were corrupt and that we would pay for it. When you were abducted, I didn't think of him. It was over three years ago and I had just forgotten about Gordon.

 

Only after we had rescued you, I remembered."

 

He stopped and the silence in the room was heavy, Grissom saw that Nick wanted to say something and held him back with a look. Ecklie was not done yet, he knew.

 

"I just wanted to say sorry Nick."

 

Shaking his head, Nick removed his hand from Grissom's and leaned forward.

 

"No, it wasn't you who put me in there."

 

A smile appeared on Ecklie's face, but he shook his head.

 

"I know, but still. Had Kelly Gordon's case been Grissom's case, I would have looked into it."

 

Of course he would have, Grissom smiled and shrugged.

 

"Yeah, and I would have done so too. Nick is right Conrad."

 

Ecklie startled and looked surprised, but Grissom continued.

 

"We all know by now, that Kelly Gordon was guilty. You could not just reopen a case because someone asked you to do it. It is not your fault, that Walter Gordon did what he did. It was his decision, his fault..."

 

Brass grinned and shook his head.

 

"I wish I had a camera with me."

 

His joke broke the somber mood and Grissom smiled as he got up. They were almost at the door when he remembered something.

 

"I'll need a couple of days off, is that ok?"

 

Ecklie looked at him for a long time and then nodded.

 

"As long as you want, but Gil? Come back ok?"

 

Grissom bit back a curse. Ecklie had certainly learned to read him.

 

---

 

*Epilogue – 12 months later*

 

Nick smiled as he watched Gil sleep. They had worked a hard shift, had not gotten a good night sleep for almost a week and still he couldn't sleep. The events a year ago, had taken their toll on them. The fact that Gil had almost been accused of a murder... It had been a long time until Gil had come to terms with it. Nick knew that he had been close to give up several times, and even now, Gil tended to question the evidence more often. Janice Delaney had not gotten her revenge, but she had made an impact. Nick knew that Grissom would never look at evidence the same way he had before Kelly Gordon had been shot.

 

Nick had read a lot while recovering from the abduction and one day he had come across a sentence that had made him smile.

 

'Who of the wise would have believed when we had told them then, that everything would come to such an end.'

 

Sometimes when he was looking back at the last three years, at his life with Gil he wondered whether the sentence had been written for them alone.

 

Who would have thought that it would take a mad killer to make him and Gil confess their love?

 

Who would have thought that they could make it work both in and outside the lab?

 

Who would have thought that their love for each other would change their relationship with others so much?

 

Who would have thought that Conrad Ecklie and Gil would become friends?

 

Nick shook his head, when he had believed that he was dying in the box, he had wished for more time with Grissom and he had gotten it. His hand moved caressingly over Gil's face and he thought of all they had gone through together, of all the things they had experienced and seen.

 

Gil murmured something in his sleep and Nick smiled as he whispered softly.

 

"Sleep, everything is fine."

 

But Gil only smiled and opened his eyes. Nick drowned in the blue eyes and the love he saw there.

 

"It's over, isn't it? The nightmares and everything... it finally is over."

 

For a moment, he tensed, but he couldn't deny the truth of Gil's statement. They both had slept without nightmares in the last couple of months, no screams at night, no fears of the darkness anymore... Nick smiled kissed Gil's nose gently.

 

"Yes, it is over."

 

It was as if a weight had lifted from his soul and with a sigh he let Gil pull him close. He felt light and at peace. Fifteen months after the abduction, they had finally gotten out of the box completely.

 

They had finally gotten their lives back.

 

---

 THE END

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