Previous part of The Enemy.

***

The days went well and it was as if the trouble Nick had had at the beginning of the treatment was all he was going to suffer since here he was with just one injection remaining and he was feeling better than he had all the way through. His hair wasn't growing but that was not even a minor inconvenience. He agreed with Mandy since it was a darn sight easier to shower and get ready without having to get his hair...just right. Of course, that was one of the reasons why favoured the buzz cut.

Gil still couldn't rid himself of his feeling of doom. But at least he could laugh at himself now as Nick nicknamed him, 'Lord of Doom' and would deepen his voice and speak like a character in a cheesy TV show.

As they approached the hospital on the last day they were both in high spirits. They had flowers and a box of Ghirardelli chocolates for Susan...after Gil had called and checked that she would be in on his last day. Nick had eaten well and drunk himself silly with water, sodas, shakes, tea and coffee. He was buoyant and so was Gil. Whatever Gil thought about his feelings, this day had been a long time coming. He felt a great deal of sympathy for those men, woman and children who had to undertake long periods of treatments and many of them with poor prognoses.

When they got into the Chemo suite, Nick's usual chair had been festooned with balloons and the staff stood and clapped as he arrived. It was customary and the men had seen the little ceremony several times. He grinned as wide as he could, even Gil couldn't imagine how thrilled he was to be on his. Very. Last. Treatment. And whatever Gil thought about what could still happen, Nick didn't care; as far as he was concerned the worst was over.

They both hugged Susan and gave her the flowers and chocolates. She was happy since Nick had been one of her best patients and Gil one of her best relatives. There were Nick's parents, of course, but it was an interesting little diversion when it happened and helped break up the relentlessness of the treatments she doled out.

When things settled down and Nick was in his chair she brought her drugs and kit to him and smiled broadly. "Last time. You know the drill. What did you say your name was?"

"Englebert Humperdinck."

"Wise guy; you think I haven't heard that before?" She laughed.

"Donald Duck?" He asked somewhat hopefully.

"Uh-uh, try again."

"Nicholas Stokes?"

"About time. Here we go, same procedure. Bleomycin. Steroid. Wait ten minutes and then you can leave. I have an appointment for you to see Dr Gupta in three weeks. You'll need to come in for a blood test the day before. Any questions?"

"No, ma'am. But I'll miss you...although, to be honest I might not." He grinned and then grimaced as the injection hit home. "You really should practise more, Susan." He was feeling brave.

"You might want to apologise, Nick, there's another injection after this." Gil looked knowingly at Susan.

"As if I would." She laughed a little maniacal laugh.

"Oh, you think you're both so funny, don't ya?" Nick drawled.

"Who me? Mr Duck?" She smiled serenely as she finished his first injection.

"Okay, okay. I apologise, profusely, Susan, for denigrating your fine injection skills."

"You're so kind." She drawled back at Nick mimicking, quite accurately, a Southern accent. She gave him the steroid injection and then smiled as she tidied up and unpeeled her latex gloves. "Nick...and Gil, it's been good knowing you and to be honest I hope I never have to see you again, and I mean that in the best possible way. You prognosis is excellent and I wish you a long and happy life together."

She stood and so did Nick and threw his arms around her once more. "Susan you've been kind and supportive the whole time. Thank you. I owe you."

"You don't." Susan blushed and when Nick had finished hugging her Gil too, hugged her to him again.

"Thank you for all your advice when Nick was sleeping..."

"...what? You've been conspiring behind my back?"

"Of course. Every step of the way." Gil told him. "I needed someone to moan and groan to..."

"...he hasn't moaned or groaned, Nick, not once. He's just been very concerned and wanted all the information and encouragement I could give. He's a good husband...partner? Are you guys married?"

"No, we're not...yet." Gil spoke and his eyes twinkled and Nick eyebrows rose, even without any hair on them.

"Sounds promising, Nick." Susan said.

"Does, doesn't it...if he hadn't been talking about it for years. He takes a long time to do things so I don't expect anything to happen this side of, say. 2020." He laughed.

"I don't want to rush things." Gil countered and they all laughed.

"We'll go, Susan, I know you're very busy. But I'll drop by when I come and see Dr Gupta and we can shoot the breeze."

"You do that. Take care. Good luck."

And the men left to waves and 'byes' from staff and patients alike.

Out in the bright early morning sunshine they walked towards Gil's truck. And both of them were grinning. It hadn't been quite seven weeks since the chemotherapy had begun but it had been eventful and they both knew that the next couple of weeks were still critical while the drugs worked their way around Nick's system.

"Do you remember that first morning when I said it was surreal?"

"Yes."

"It was and it still is. Just got to get over these next few weeks then it's a major push for normal."

"I don't think it'll take you very long once the drugs are fully out of your system."

"I hope not...I'm worried about my hair, though."

"It'll grow back soon enough, sweetheart."

"It's not that I'm worried about, it's if it grows back curly. I'll be a freak!"

"Are you intimating that I'm a freak?"

"Nooo...you've got great curls and I love them...but I'm a straight haired kinda guy."

"It would be an interesting phenomenon."

"You think it would be a funny experiment type of thing?" Nick was indignant.

"No." But Gil was not treating this with the respect and seriousness that Nick believed it deserved.

"I'll have to have buzz cuts forever." He added triumphantly, because he knew Gil hated them.

"Okay." Gil wasn't playing into his hands.

"I mean it."

"I'm sure you do."

"So why aren't you arguing?" Nick was getting exasperated.

"Because, Nick, you've finished your chemotherapy today and I couldn't give a fuck about your hair."

"Oh. Okay then." Nick grinned at Gil and grabbed his hand and they walked hand in hand the last few yards to the truck.

When they got in the truck, Gil started the engine and the air conditioning and then looked across as Nick. "I think we should get married. Maybe take a vacation somewhere and marry...won't be official here in Nevada, but who cares?"

"Is this a proposal, Dr Grissom?"

"I guess it is."

"Then I accept." They both grinned at each other. "Let's get home; we've got research and planning to do." Nick saw the panic cross Gil's face. "Don't worry, honey, we'll leave it a few...weeks!" He laughed.

"Actually, Nick? What do you say? Bring it on!"

"Honestly? Man?"

"Honestly. Man." They chuckled at Gil's pale imitation of Nick's excitement.

"I'm an engaged man. Should we sleep in separate rooms? Who'll wear white?"

"Neither of us...unless it's a beach wedding."

"A beach...that would be...great."

"We'll research it, Nick."

"Home, James. I feel good."

Of course, by the time they got home Nick was suffering with a shivering fit but he was able to get into the house and up the bedroom. Gil got out his 'shivering' kit... sweat shirt and pants and his walking socks. And an extra blanket.

"I'll get you a hot tea with lemon?"

"Yeah, man. " Gil settled him in bed and then went to make the tea. When he brought it back Nick was asleep and Gil thought about leaving him...but no, he needed fluids after the injection.

"Nick, wake up. You've got to drink something before you sleep." He didn't wake up. It took several minutes of shouting and shaking before Nick emerged from his almost comatose sleep...it was the worst Gil had ever known and his heart was thumping in his chest from worry...or fright...or both.

Once again the speed of change in Nick was incredible. He'd been able to put on his own sweat shirt and pants and now not twenty minutes later he was hardly coherent.

"Nick, you've got to drink something before you sleep. Here's you lemon tea."

"Tea?" Nick slurred as if he had no idea what Gil was talking about. Although Gil noticed that he wasn't shivering any more.

"I'm hot...don't want tea." Nick managed to slur out.

"Okay, I'll take off the extra blanket." He did so while he was still talking to Nick. "So what do you want to drink, because I'm not letting you go back to sleep without having a drink of something." Nor am I going to leave you asleep for very long, he thought.

"Apple juice." Nick slurred.

"Okay, I'm going to get one; try not to go to sleep while I'm away. Nick? Nick?" He was drifting off already.

"'K." But he didn't even open his eyes. Gil dashed downstairs and grabbed a couple of juices from the fridge and dashed back up, panting by the time he got to the bedside.

"Nick!" He managed to wake him again after another effort and he was seriously worried; he'd been groggy before but never like this. He did sip his juice and eventually finished it though and that helped ease Gil's worry...a little.

Gil decided to let him sleep for two hours...then changed his mind and thought that one hour would be better. But he couldn't settle and he sat on the bed beside Nick for half an hour and watched him sleep. There didn't seem to be anything else out of the ordinary. He was breathing deeply and evenly. He was still. But Gil was feeling very uneasy. He managed an hour and a half before he tried to wake him again. It was just the same; he didn't think it was any worse. It was like he'd been drugged...of course, he had been drugged but not with an anaesthetic.

He drank some water without complaint but didn't really speak, just muttered his responses to Gil. He let him fall back to sleep and then decided to call Susan. See what she said about this new effect. It wasn't anything that he'd read about and that fact alone worried him sick.

***

He called and she was busy but they promised that she would call back as soon as she could. It never occurred to him just to ask the nurse he spoke to for advice. He was stressed...there was no denying that...spooked even. Fifteen very tense minutes later she called. Gil explained what was happening.

She was very reassuring. "It's not a regular side effect but I have heard of it before...especially, Gil, as the treatments continue and take hold. He's had two complete treatments and his body has been assaulted with these drugs and its way of dealing is to make the body rest. But...if he gets any worse and you cannot rouse him at all then you should call nine, one, one.

"If you can keep waking him up regularly, as you've been doing, to give him fluids then that's the best you can do. If you're still having trouble waking him after he's a had a long rest...say twelve hours, then call the suite again and speak to a doctor. I will alert them and if you have any other concerns or worry, call straight away. Does that help you?"

"It does, Susan, thank you. It's such a relief to hear a reassuring voice."

"It'll be good, you see. He just needs to assimilate and process the drugs."

"I understand. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Call again of you need anything...anything at all. Okay?"

"I will, I promise. Thank you." When he finished the call he did feel a whole lot better. But he was staying awake to monitor Nick all day so he called Ecklie and Catherine to alert them.

To keep himself busy he pottered around doing some chores...even some ironing which he loathed and usually left for Nick. After a hour and half he woke Nick again and wasn't sure whether he was just as bad or because Gil now knew what was going on, he was the same but Gil had become used to it. He set his watch alarm for two hours the next time.

He was downstairs when he though he heard sounds and ran upstairs again. To his relief Nick was struggling to get out of bed.

"Gotta...take...a piss." He informed Gil as he was trying to get out of bed.

"Okay...let's get you to the bathroom." Gil was elated; he'd woken up by himself. His bladder had trounced his comatose-like sleep. He helped a very groggy Nick to the toilet and propped him up while he emptied his bladder and then washed his hands. "Okay, back to bed."

"Need to...take... sweats off...hot."

"Okay, we can do that when you sit on the bed. And don't forget another drink."

"Another?" Gil was so relieved he laughed that even in this state he could complain about all the fluids Gil was making him drink. That was a good sign.

"A water."

"'K."

Gil peeled off his sweat shirt off and manoeuvred his pants off so that he sat there in a tee and his tighty whities. He then pulled off his socks. Nick's head was nodding at all the exertion.

"Just a drink and then you can sleep. Here." Gil gave him a water bottle with the cap already removed and Nick nearly split it, but Gil caught it in time. He chuckled. "Near miss. Come on sip it down." He smiled at Nick and sat beside him as Nick gradually emptied the bottle.

"Will need another piss in a minute." Nick sounded a little more articulate.

"Do you need one now?" Nick shook his head. "Okay, I'll let you sleep a while now." Nick gave Gil a little smile.

"We're engaged."

"We are indeed."

"Need a diamond."

"Really?"

"A guy's not engaged until he has a diamond on his finger."

"Does that go for me too?"

Nick frowned. "Yeah, it does."

"Come on sleepy head we'll discuss this tonight. I'm staying home."

"That's good...no way I could go." Although in the minutes they'd been speaking Gil noticed a definite improvement. He would let Nick sleep for three hours now that he'd woken up properly and spoken.

When Gil went downstairs he googled diamond rings for men. And found a ring he thought he could wear. He saved the page and would run it past Nick when he able to stay awake.

There was no doubt he felt a little easier after speaking to Susan and then Nick was almost properly awake when he got up to take a piss. Maybe he'd been panicking. No he hadn't. He felt that he was justified in being alarmed he'd read nothing about such a side effect and almost googled again to have a search...but then thought that would probably do more harm than good. A little knowledge...and all that.

He was tired now but was determined to stay awake, so took his laptop up to the bedroom and settled on the bed next to Nick and played poker for an hour. Not so lucky this time his profit on his games was only twenty dollars but he still had five hundred and thirty bucks in his kitty so he wasn't bothered. It wasn't a loss.

He decided to take a shower and then wake Nick again. And Nick woke up almost like normal...normal since his chemo began anyway. Gil smiled as Nick surfaced and felt a little ridiculous for panicking so much.

"Hey."

"Hey. Tell me it's not time to get up."

"It's not time to get up."

"Have I been awake before...did you say we're not going into work?"

"You have and I did."

"Feel really out of it...need a lot more sleep, I think."

"That's fine. A drink, a piss of you need one and then I'll come to bed with you."

"Okay."

"What do you want to drink?"

"A McDonald's banana shake." He was quite emphatic.

"I can go and get one. If you have a water now."

"You don't have to..."

"...do you really want one?" He smiled and nodded. "Then I can go and get one, take about half an hour." Gil wasn't that happy about leaving Nick but he was okay now...holding a normal conversation. And he loved banana milk shakes and he deserved one.

Nick drank half the bottle of water and did take a piss and then got back into bed. Gil dressed since he'd got ready for bed after his shower, grabbed his wallet and keys and off he went.

At McDonald's Gil couldn't resist a burger and ended up with a Big Mac, but he bought some fries for Nick and four shakes, two banana and two strawberry flavoured. He thought they'd keep in the fridge for a day.

When he got home in twenty-seven minutes he went straight upstairs and Nick was still sleeping peacefully. He came down again and put two shakes in the fridge and took the rest of his purchases up to Nick.

"Nick. Nick. Shakes arrived." Nick woke up almost immediately and Gil was so relieved he kissed him.

"I dread to think what my breath tastes like. I haven't brushed my teeth...since I can't remember when."

"It's sweet tasting Nick breath. I have your shake and I bought some fries for you just in case. I have a Big Mac.

"A Big Mac. Wow."

"You want it?"

"Could I just have a bite or two? Do you mind?"

"Of course not...you could do with the calories I don't need them."

Gil got Nick propped up against his pillows and he managed about a third of the burger, half of the fries and all of his shake. He was still very tired and it seemed to take an age for him to chew but he was enjoying it and it wasn't forced so Gil was virtually ecstatic after the drama of earlier.

"I enjoyed all that, thank you." Nick confirmed what Gil knew.

"You're welcome. I'm going to get into bed with you now...but just before I do I wanted to show you something." He picked up his laptop and found the page of rings. "I couldn't find an engagement ring per se and the diamond rings for men tend to be a bit...over the top. But what about combining an engagement ring with a wedding band? Look." He put his lap top on Nick's lap.

"Wow. That's really something."

"Isn't it? Wait until you're a bit better and we'll really look into all of this."

"We will?" Nick smiled even though he was trying to keep awake.

"I promise."

"I like it when you promise me things...because you always keep them."

"Okay, I promise to let you go to sleep now."

Nick smiled. "Piss first."

"Oh, okay." Gil helped him again and a few minutes later they were cuddled up in bed. Gil had set the alarm on his watch for three hours.

And when it sounded he woke Nick up again and gave him a juice and they settled very quickly again. But he still set his alarm for three hours.

When he woke Nick again, Nick was much better. Gil knew this because he complained about being woken up, even though he did get up for yet another piss.

"You know what, Dr Grissom?" Nick moaned when he got back into bed

"No, what?" Gil was expecting some perceived non-problem or other and was very happy.

"You're gonna wear out my kidneys and bladder, you know that?"

"I am, am I?"

"Sure you are. Now let me be and let me sleep."

"Okay."

"Goodnight." Nick said, emphatically, and plopped down and wrapped himself around Gil.

Gil wondered, as he drifted off to sleep again, whether or not Nick would remember how sick he'd been. Although could it be called sick? Yes, it could because it was a direct result of his treatment.

He forgot to set his alarm and woke with a shock and looked down at Nick who woke and muttered as he re-positioned himself.

"Why did you jump?"

"I don't know, go back to sleep." He though that Nick had probably had enough fluids for now.

"Don't need to tell me twice." And he didn't.

***

When Gil got up he left a very drowsy Nick in bed but he was nowhere near as bad as he had been earlier that day when they'd got home.

When Gil had finished in the bathroom he came out and was happy to see that Nick was still awake.

"I don't know about you but I could eat something...a Chinese. Can we order take-out?" Nick wanted to know.

"We can, what do you want?"

"I want noodles. Chicken noodles."

"Okay...chicken noodles it is." Gil came over and sat beside Nick and bent to kiss him but Nick put his head under the bedclothes.

"Nooo...my breath is toxic, man."

"It doesn't matter."

"Maybe not to you...but it does to me. Hey, did you, or did you not show me a ring after we had that Big Mac?"

"I did. Here." He picked up his laptop from the floor where he'd left it and opened it up but the battery was flat.

"I forgot to plug it in. But I liked it and it combined a diamond engagement ring with a wedding ring. Very tastefully, I thought. Are you getting up or staying in bed?"

"Getting up...need a shower and definitely need to clean my teeth...I'll have a hundred cavities if I'm not careful."

"Not after one missed cleaning. You're exaggerating..."

"...I know, and you've told me a million times not to exaggerate!" He chuckled. Gil wasn't going to mention the sleep problem; if Nick couldn't remember then that was fine by him.

By the time their Chinese meal had arrived they were dressed and lounging on the couch. Gil had plugged in his laptop and shown the rings he'd seen to Nick...who was incredulous that Gil had actually seen and liked something so beautiful and...stunning. Gil pretended to be hurt; his argument was that he must have some good taste because he had chosen Nick. It was a theory that Nick could subscribe too but decided to contradict Gil this time...for fun.

"But I did the chasing and if I hadn't you wouldn't have made a move; therefore, I have the better style for convincing you we could be a couple."

Gil opened his mouth to counter the accusation when the doorbell rang. "I'll come back to that later."

They settled on the couch with the meal and Nick managed about three quarters of his noodles and stole some of Gil's crispy beef. Towards the end of the meal Gil remembered the little disagreement.

"But, I let myself be caught because I realised that you were a 'catch'. Otherwise you could have chased me forever and I would have resisted." He popped a piece of beef in his mouth with a flourish.

"Like Sara, you mean?" Nick wasn't in the least phased by Gil's return to a subject some fifteen minutes later. It was normal...for Gil.

"Yes. No, not really; realistically she had no chance at all with a gay man. I didn't even consider resisting because they was no chance anyway."

"And that was your big mistake."

"It was?" Nick had never said this before so Gil was intrigued.

"If you'd put up some resistance immediately she might have got the message sooner. You could have told her you were gay...that would have been easiest."

"I was naïve, I admit, in thinking that my homosexuality was no one's business but mine; but I thought that passively ignoring her rather than openly resisting would cause her to get bored and back-off. Lose interest."

Nick nearly choked. "Back off! Sara?"

Gil had the good grace to smile and nod. "I know, now."

"Do you know, Dr Grissom, that I love you. You can be a real dork and despite your intelligence and knowledge you can be clueless. But you are endearing." He laughed.

"Thank you. I think. Or was that an insult wrapped up with love?"

"Yeah, it was."

Gil pulled Nick to him and cuddled him on their couch and sighed. "Oh, how wonderful it would be to have the benefit of hindsight."

"True. You know I don't want to buy a ring off the 'net don't you?"

"Of course. I'm not that clueless." He kissed Nick's bald head. "We can look around for something similar or even have someone make them for us."

"Yeah, good thinking. We don't want to rush it; we need to find rings that we'll love for the rest of our lives."

And just like that Gil's eyes teared up...that statement was a lot more palpable since Nick's brush with death. He couldn't speak but nodded against Nick and Nick must have sensed his thoughts.

"I'm going to okay, babe. I know it."

"I know. I know." Was all Gil could say.

They didn't go to work for three days because Nick was so tired all the time. He was okay to eat and in fact had regained some appetite but even the most mundane of things caused him extreme exhaustion. But he gradually got stronger and it was, as usual, Nick who insisted they go to work on the fourth night after his final injection. Gil had to concede that he was much better.

"I could look at some lab work for the guys."

"I don't think so...not just yet. Just you getting to work will probably exhaust you...you've done nothing for three days...nothing at all."

"We'll see. Okay?"

"Okay." Gil smirked.

"Stop smirking or I'll go into the lab..." Gil put his face straight immediately. "...your face will stick on a smirk one day and then what will you do?"

"Cosmetic surgery?" They laughed together.

"How do you improve on perfect?" Nick asked and moved in to hug Gil.

"You tell me, sweetheart."

Naturally Gil was right about Nick. He went straight to his cot and slept...after a strawberry shake and fries on the way in.

Catherine and Gil discussed work and the position they were in and she was pleased that everyone seemed really good and still raring to go. She also told Gil she was quite certain that Nick was out of the woods...but even as she said it Gil had the bad feelings back. The Lord of Doom that Nick had called him echoed around his brain.

He went back into his office and he'd been watching Nick sleep for a few minutes when Ecklie came in, Gil put his finger to his lips to silence him and went out into the corridor with him.

"How's he doing?"

"Better than he was, obviously still wasted, but really starting to eat now. I'm still worried sick and I have no idea why...except that I know that immediately post chemo is still a very vulnerable time."

"I understand. I actually googled it, you know, when Nick got sick. But he's done very well. I also came to tell you that the shift has done very well in your absence. My only worry is that they're doing too much...I'm okay about the overtime...but I don't want any burn outs."

"Of course, I understand, but I have just spoken with Catherine and she was very positive about everyone and said they're all still sufficiently rested and, raring to go...her words. But, I think it's motivated not only by their friendship for Nick, but the money angle. Warrick wants a new car and Greg's thinking of moving up the property ladder. Sara's saving for some big vacation to the Galapagos Islands. It's an excellent motivator.

Ecklie laughed. "I'm pleased LVPD can fund their extravagances."

"I would like a vacation when Nick is better. I want to take him somewhere warm where they do gay marriages. Hawaii maybe."

"Making it legal. Probably a wise move. Nevada recognises gay unions doesn't it...but doesn't do the unions itself?"

"That's exactly right, Conrad. Who knew you were so enlightened?" Gil smirked but then changed it to a chuckle when he remembered Nick's admonishment of his smirking face.

"I'm not the man you think I am. I know we've had out differences in the past but I think I've moved on...and moved with the times."

Gil realised, and not for the first time, that without Ecklie's support for him and Nick he wouldn't have been able to support Nick as he had done. In a very rare show of familiarity Gil put his hand Ecklie's arm. "Without your support, none of this would have run so smoothly for Nick and me. You will have my undying gratitude. Thank you."

The gesture, plainly sincere, took Ecklie by surprise and he was speechless and seemed embarrassed, he nodded, turned and left. Ungraciously, Gil thought he should try being nice to him more often and then chastised himself for his uncharitable thought because without Conrad Ecklie they would have been severely compromised during the last couple of months.

It was when they were in bed the next day that something woke up Gil; it was the first time he'd heard it and he knew that his predication of doom could be about to come true...

***

Nick was coughing in his sleep. A dry irritating sound; it didn't seem to be disturbing Nick unduly but Gil was gripped by a fear that made his gut churn. A dry cough was the first sign of the worst, and potentially fatal, side effect of Bleomycin. Pulmonary fibrosis. It was, thankfully, very rare and the leaflets from the hospital almost glossed over it except to say...keep a look out.

Gil had been asleep for three hours and Nick for maybe five. Gil thought back and he was sure that this was the very first time he'd heard him cough since the treatment began. He wasn't going to sleep again. That was an absolute certainty.

He lay there with Nick in his arms counting out the time between the coughs. Listening to see if it sounded worse each time. It didn't sound worse but as the time passed it did become more persistent and Nick woke up, eventually.

"Man. My throat's dry." Nick, Gil realised, may not have realised that a cough had woken him so he didn't say anything about it.

"I'll get you a drink, what would you like?"

"My throat's kind of sore. Something soothing."

"Tea with honey?"

"Ugh. Never had it. What's it taste like."

Gil smiled. "Let me see...oh, I know, tea with honey in it."

"Smartass. Okay, I'll try it, honey is soothing. Have we got some?"

"I'm pretty sure. I'll go get it for you."

"Thanks, babe. When I'm better I'll wait on you, hand and foot, for a few months."

"There's no need. It's been a pleasure, Nick, a real pleasure." Nick kissed his cheek and then he got out of bed and went downstairs to make the tea. When he'd put on the kettle he went to his den and fired up his laptop. He could hear Nick coughing.

He googled, not for the first time, Pulmonary Fibrosis. To check the presenting symptoms. The dry cough was the first indicator followed by shortness of breath, fatigue, weight loss and aching muscles and joints.

The fatigue and weight loss were directly attributable to the chemo. Nick had never complained of any aches at all. So shortness of breath? No. Also, Bleomycin could just cause a cough with no sinister undertones. But Gil was already past caring. He made his way back to the kitchen to make the drink for Nick. Then he'd watch Nick for a few hours and then if there was no change he would take him directly to the ER. He was taking no chances. Not one solitary chance.

When he got back to the bedroom Nick was just coming out of the bathroom. "Man, I didn't have this cough when I went to sleep."

"No, you didn't." Gil was trying very hard indeed to keep his voice light and even but Nick stopped in his tracks.

"Lord of Doom." Nick didn't use his jokey voice but looked directly at Gil. "You expected this didn't you?"

"No, honestly, no. I just had the feeling there was something more to come."

"Well; all I've got is a cough and I feel okay. Is that the tea?" Nick was being matter of fact and had obviously dismissed Gil from speaking about it anymore.

"Yes. I hope you like it; it should soothe your throat."

"I hope so." He climbed back into bed and took the drink from Gil and took a sip, then relaxed and smiled. "I'm okay...it's just a bit of a cough, okay, and this isn't too bad at all."

Gil relaxed...just a little. Nick looked better than he had for weeks...he had some colour in his cheeks and... "Fuck, Nick..."

"You want to fuck?" Nick asked, very surprised.

"No. You look good...you've got colour in your cheeks." He held his hand on Nick's brow. "You're hot. I'll take your temperature and I'll warn you now that even if it's slightly elevated we're off to the ER." He didn't look at Nick or wait for a response but took off for the bathroom and returned with the thermometer.

He put it in Nick's ear and waited; Nick sipped his tea quite nonchalantly. When Gil pulled it out he stared at it.

"Okay. What is it?"

"Ninety-eight point eight."

"I am not going to the hospital for point two...for all we know that could be a normal anomaly for me.

Gil thought for a few moments then conceded defeat. "Okay, but I'm going to take it hourly and if goes up by one whole point I will take you, kicking and screaming if necessary, to the ER. Okay?"

"It's a deal." He smiled but was then interrupted by the cough again. Gil sat down on the bed and worried. When he'd finished the coughing fit, Nick continued to sip his tea. "But I'm going to sleep now. That was very good, thank you, Lord Grissom."

Gil smiled. "Okay, I know. Panic first, think second."

"It's a good job you don't work like that, or the lab would fall apart. Come and get into bed and cuddle me asleep. It'll take you ages...ten seconds at least, I bet."

Gil did get into bed and set his watch alarm for one hour and then cuddled Nick. He thought he should have taken the bet because by his counting Nick took fourteen seconds to fall asleep. Was that longer than normal and was Nick worried as worried as he was?

He slept fitfully and every slight movement or sound from Nick disturbed him. He took Nick's temperature twice. On each occasion it had risen point one. Nick was still coughing but it wasn't waking him. But the next time Gil was due to wake him, Nick woke before him with a really bad coughing fit and Gil noticed immediately that the sound of the cough had changed. Rather than the dry hack, this was becoming a more congested sounding cough and as bad as that was...it was not a symptom of Pulmonary Fibrosis.

"I'll get you a drink of water."

"'K. Babe?"

"What is it?"

"I got pains...in my chest."

"Okay. Water first. Then we'll get dressed and we'll go to the hospital."

"Yeah. Okay. Feel hot now."

He got the water for Nick and then took his temperature and from ninety-nine dead at his last reading it was now one hundred point three. Infection.

Gil dressed and then helped Nick dress in his warm sweats and took a blanket for the car and as they made their way to the truck he took a bottled water from the fridge. Nick smiled that Gil remembered to do the little things.

Gil had on the air con warming the truck on the journey but Nick started shivering before they got half way. He wrapped himself in the blanket and tried shallow breathing to stop the pains. But then that made him cough. Gil was increasingly alarmed and decided on an illegal action. His truck was a work truck...he put on the flashing lights and the siren...which he couldn't ever remember using before.

It made the passage to the hospital easier and quicker. At the hospital he didn't look for any parking space but parked the truck in the emergency bay. As he started to get Nick out, a paramedic that had been hanging around having a cigarette came over.

"Hold on, I'll get a gurney."

"Thanks. It would help." Gil acknowledged him.

But Nick whispered. "I don't need a gurney I'm not that bad."

"Take it and be thankful." Gil was having no messing.

The gurney gave them immediate access to a cubicle so he, and the paramedic, parked Nick and then Gil went to the desk. On the way he asked the paramedic if he'd move his truck and put it somewhere where it wasn't blocking access. And he went off quite happily to do Gil's bidding.

Gil explained patiently what had happened and the desk clerk wasn't as efficient as the one they'd seen the last time. He couldn't get her to understand the urgency of the matter because, apparently, he'd failed to use nine, one, one. He was about ready to jump the counter and take over when an older nurse came over to hand in a file. Gil ignored the clerk and turned to her.

"Excuse me, but I cannot seem to instil any urgency in the clerk; could you please tell her that a chemotherapy patient with chest pains, a temperature and a bad cough is an emergency."

She gave Gil a look and then turned to the clerk. "It is. Bump him to the top of the queue."

"Thank you. Thank you." He turned and smiled at the clerk who gave him a filthy look and then continued on her computer.

"Done. But all the doctors are currently busy and it could be some time before he's seen."

"Then I'll be back here regularly, to check." He smiled again but there was nothing pleasant about it. As he went back to the cubicle the paramedic brought his keys back.

"It's at the side to the right of the doors."

"Thank you very much for your help."

"You're welcome."

The threat to the clerk must have worked because not five minutes later, in which time Nick was worse, a doctor arrived.

In an hour, Nick had had bloods and an x-ray taken and been prescribed broad spectrum antibiotics as a precautionary measure through a drip into a port in the back of his hand, together with saline. But the x-ray had confirmed the diagnosis. Pneumonia. It just needed for the type to be determined with the blood test.

Nick was taken to an isolation room to be barrier nursed and by the time he'd arrived there he needed oxygen and his temperature had shot up to one hundred and three. He was barely conscious and when he'd been settled Gil was allowed in wearing the precautionary gown and mask. Gil had already been to the bathroom where he'd vomited. He was sure it was a nervous response since he'd felt in imminent danger of throwing up from the moment he'd first woken to the sound of the cough...and that was about six or seven hours ago.

Nick was very still against the white bedding and with his now white features and lack of any hair he almost disappeared into the pillow. Gil held back his tears. This was no time for worry this was a time for resolution and sheer willpower and he smiled, just a little, to himself because he knew that both of them had that willpower and it would get them through this.

A/N 2:

You have antesqueluz to thank for pointing out that Pulmonary Fibrosis is a life altering and potentially fatal consequence of Bleomycin treatment. Weirdly, it is not mentioned in any of the forums I read before I wrote this fic...probably because it is so dangerous and they don't want testicular cancer sufferers to panic. But once she'd told me about it...there's more than enough data to make it v.worrying, however, it does remain v.v.rare!

***

Gil sat with Nick for hours...sometimes he nodded off but he always jerked awake. Nick was hardly coughing but his was wheezing as he breathed and his chest seemed to be moving more exaggeratedly up and down to be able to get oxygen. They changed the cannula providing oxygen to a full mask. After about three hours a doctor came in and checked Nick's chest.

"You're his partner? Medical proxy?"

"Yes to both. It's on his records."

"It's okay, I believe you. Well the bad news is it is definitely pneumonia but the good news is, it's bacterial so we can fight it with antibiotics. Heavy duty antibiotics, given his underlying compromised immune situation and Nurse will be in in a few minutes to change the bag...we're going with

Azithromycin to start with, see how he responds to that. I gather that his deterioration has been rapid?"

"Yes. In about four hours he went from dry cough to elevated temperature, chest pain and a congested cough. I brought him into the ER at that stage."

"Good. An early catch. We can see how he goes. I've left a message for Dr Gupta's team and they might want to visit tomorrow. Are you staying because he's going to be out of it?"

"Yes, I am. I'm not leaving his side."

"Fair enough. Make sure you keep hydrated won't you...don't want two patients on our hands." The doctor left with a wave and almost as soon as the door closed it opened again with the nurse bringing in the new bag of antibiotics with saline.

The nurses were in and out all the time....checking Nick about once every fifteen minutes. They hardly spoke to Gil except to say a, 'hi, or 'hello'. They were busy.

After about three hours Gil decided that he would have to go and eat and drink something so he spoke to a sleeping, heavily sedated or comatose Nick, he wasn't quite sure which it was, and held his hand.

"Babe, I'm going out for a little while...get something to eat and drink. I'll be back soon, don't worry you're going to be okay...bacterial pneumonia and they're pumping you full of heavy duty antibiotics...that's what the doctor said." To his surprise Nick responded with a small squeeze of his hand.

"I got that. I love you." And there was another squeeze; and Gil was grateful that he knew Nick was inside there hanging on...

Gil left the hospital and walked towards a little diner he'd seen on his frequent trips over the last couple of months. He went in and ordered a sandwich and a coffee and was grateful for a decent cup when it arrived. He sat there dazed for a few minutes and then realised that he hadn't called work. He found his cell, in his jacket pocket, and when he turned it on it reverberated with messages and missed calls. Catherine, Warrick and Ecklie.

It was the middle of the night so he called Catherine and she answered almost immediately.

"What's wrong, Gil?"

"Nick's got pneumonia, it came on very quickly and he's been in hospital since yesterday...I completely forgot..."

"...hey, don't bother with us. How is he?"

"Holding his own, I suppose. Seemed to know me...on oxygen and antibiotics. He's in an isolation ward." Gil rubbed his face as he spoke he was shattered, exhausted, and he'd only just realised. He sandwich arrived and he looked at it and thought there was no way he could eat it.

"That's better than I'd thought...I was giving you another fifteen minutes and then getting everyone to call the hospitals."

"I'm so sorry..."

"...don't be. Nick comes first and, you know, that's exactly how it should be."

"It's taken me a long time to realise that, Catherine...only recently, you know."

"Don't I know it...the times I've wanted to pull you up over things you've done and said and I think you only survived because one, Nick is such a patient and kind guy and two, he loves you like crazy."

"You know you're right don't you? His being sick has been terrible, make no mistake about that, and yet we are closer than we've ever been and I made a few discoveries...about myself mostly. But also just how brave and stoic Nick is...I thought I knew him after he survived Walter Gordon but that's not even the half of it..."

"And are you going to make an honest man of him when he's better?"

"Yes. I am. Do you know something?"

She laughed. "I know that that's what he's wanted from the moment you succumbed to his charms. He's a keeper, Gil, keep him."

"I will. Does everyone know how useless I've been?" She hesitated, fatally. "They do, don't they." It wasn't really a question.

"Of course. Even Sara. She says she's happy that you're with Nick because she wouldn't be able to stand it if you behaved like you do with Nick...with her."

"She said that?" Gil was incredulous.

"Yeah, she said it but I don't believe a word of it. She's green with envy. She'd have you, gay or not."

"Nick said I should have been up front with her as soon as she started on me."

"He's right."

"I know."

"You get back to Nick and I'll get the message out to everyone. Let me know the instant you have news. Promise?"

"I promise. Bye, Catherine."

"Bye and hugs and kisses to Nick."

Gil definitely felt better for talking to Catherine...she did cheer him up...even with her home truths about his behaviour with Nick.

He ate about half of the sandwich and thought about asking for it to be boxed for take-out but he couldn't be bothered, it had no taste to it anyway. But that could have been Gil's mouth...he felt unclean since he'd vomited and so he made a decision. Go home, shower change and go back to Nick, he could pack a few things for him and that it would probably not take much more than an hour.

Altogether Gil was away for two hours and forty minutes and as soon as he got back to the hospital he bitterly regretted it, there was a doctor and two nurses around Nick's bed and it seemed that there was a lot of activity. He quickly donned his gown and went into the room.

"What's happened?"

"He spiked a fever of a hundred and five, so we've been cooling him; we've added acetaminophen to his drugs." The doctor spoke and appeared to be quite calm so that, in part, calmed Gil.

"Has it come down?"

"Yes, just over a hundred and three."

"I'm sorry I wasn't here."

"Not a problem; he was out of it and you would have been in the way. No harm done...let's hope that that was the worst of it and that the antibiotics will do their job now. We'll leave the ice packs on for a while longer and see how it helps."

Gil's heart was broken he was sure. He'd left his lover and in that time he'd had a crisis and he wasn't here to support him...he was more interested in feeling better himself. His chair had been moved to the side of the room and he sat down on it heavily and stared at Nick. He was flushed and quiet, but his breathing looked okay. There were more machines around him now than there had been and it was noisy in the room. The floor was littered with bits of discarded medical equipment and paper.

It was so different than when Gil had left less than three hours before.

A nurse spoke up. "It's down to one, oh, two point seven. A good drop."

"Yeah, we got it." The doctor acknowledged.

Gil sat there for the duration and listened to the staff mutter to one another and after he didn't know how long, they declared Nick stable and retreated. A cleaner can into the room almost immediately and cleared away all the detritus from their actions. After she left Gil still sat here staring at Nick, he was almost in a trance.

He didn't hear him straight away because he was distracted and Nick was wearing an oxygen mask. But he was trying to lift it from his mouth...that was when Gil sprang into action.

"Hey. Sweetheart, leave that alone." He was at Nick's side in a flash.

"Hi." He heard Nick say, through the mask and he leaned forward over Nick and took his wrist in his hand...the cannula was in the back of his hand.

"Hi, back at you."

"People in here?"

"Have there been people in here?" Nick nodded. "Yes; a doctor, two nurses and then a cleaner."

"Thought so."

"How do you feel?"

"Okay." Gil's heart almost stopped; he was so plainly not okay.

"You've had a very high temperature."

"How long?"

"How long have you been here?" Nick nodded again.

"Twelve hours, give or take." Nick looked at Gil and his hairless eyebrows rose in a question. "You didn't think you'd been here that long?" Nick shook his head. "Ah, you thought you'd been here longer?" He nodded again.

Gil chuckled. "It just seems longer."

Nick beckoned Gil closer to him and when his ear was against Nick's mask he heard Nick whisper. "Love you. Sorry."

Gil was aghast and almost shouted. "Sorry? Nick, it's not your fault!" He thought he saw Nick trying to grin under the mask.

"You worry." Another whisper. "I didn't want to make you worry."

"Nick, you've been great...fighting this off."

"Pulmonary...fi..." Was all Nick whispered before Gil realised what he was trying to say.

"No! Nick. No...it's bacterial pneumonia...you'll get better, I promise." And he saw Nick relax a little into his bed and he obviously hadn't heard him before when Gil had told him. "I should have told you. I'm the one who should be sorry. I went out to eat and then went home to shower and while I was away you had a very high temperature...that's why the doctor and nurses were here."

Nick nodded as if in understanding. "Idiot. I feel okay. Honest." He whispered.

"Then you're getting better. Crisis over. And yes, I am an idiot."

"I feel weak."

"I bet you do and you're wasting valuable energy gossiping. Rest...sleep and I won't leave your side."

"Go home to bed." Nick bought his hand up and touched Gil's face. "You need to rest, you look tired."

Tears fell down Gil's face. His very sick lover was telling him he needed to rest.

"Don't cry, it'll be okay." Nick whispered and Gil nodded. He was a selfish asshole; wallowing in his own self-pity...there was nothing wrong with him and here was Nick trying to comfort him.

"You'd better be, you hear me?" Gil spoke but almost sobbed out the words.

"Hey, babe, I promise."

A nurse came into his room at that moment.

***

"Hi, Nick, welcome to ward eighteen. I'm Jessie. How ya doin'?"

Nick grinned beneath his mask. This girl was a Texan. "'K, thanks ma'am." Despite his weakness Gil was amazed that he could still drawl out his Texan.

"Whoa, there! They never said you were a Texas boy, I'd have been in here sooner." She laughed and if she'd noticed Gil's tears she chose to ignore them.

"Dallas." He managed to enunciate clearly.

"Austin, me." While she was talking she was checking all his monitors and then noted his chart. "You're holding steady there, keep up the good work. I'll be in later. Is there anything you need?"

"No, ma'am, I have everything I need." And he held Gil's hand up to show her.

"I'll swear that every Texan boy I meet in Vegas is gay. You work in a hotel resort?"

Nick laughed and started coughing and she came over to his side from the end of the bed but he soon stopped.

"I'm making you talk too much." She spoke to Gil. "So what does Nick do that made him laugh at my suggestion?"

"He's a criminalist with LVPD, we both are."

She laughed, outrageously loud and then spluttered. "That told me! I thought you might be one of those very cute boys that walk around half naked that me and my girlfriends go to drool over!"

Nick laughed again and Gil could see that he really had perked up with her jovial mood. A lesson for him there. Stop being so fucking introspective and learn to take the knocks...this wasn't about him it was about Nick.

"I got to go tell the girls. You take care, now." And off she breezed.

"She was a...well...different." Gil remarked and smiled at Nick.

"Texan."

"Nick, I'm sorry I'm all misery and gloom. Lord of Doom...that was fitting I can see...but I'm going to make a real effort to cheer up; okay?" He could see Nick smiling and his eyes were crinkling, but also drooping from his need to rest. "You go to sleep now and I'll go home in a little while."

And he didn't need to be told twice he was asleep. But Gil was very happy that he was quite aware and much improved in just a few hours. He wanted to speak to the nurses so he left Nick and went out to the nurses' station. Jessie was there and spoke to him straight away.

"Are you okay? I saw that you were upset but didn't want to mention it in front of Nick."

"I'm fine now. Thanks to you, in part. I was wallowing...and it's Nick who's sick, not me...but you certainly cheered up both of us, so thank you."

"Don't be too hard on yourself, honey, it's difficult to watch someone you love when they're sick and you feel helpless. As long as you're there for him that's the important part.

"Well he wants me to go home but I wondered if someone from oncology would be here in the morning and if I should stay to see them."

"Ah, oncology. They checked his blood for tumor markers...absolutely normal ..." She smiled and Gil opened his mouth in shock. "...so the test results will be forwarded to them but I wouldn't have thought they will visit. Chemo is over...and although this is a side effect of his

immunocompromised system he hasn't got to go back for any more treatments, so this is a straight forward nursing back to health situation. We'll probably keep him in hospital longer than a normal pneumonia patient for obvious reasons. But..." She petered out and smiled at Gil.

"Nurse...Jessie. That's the best...most comprehensive and clear review of the situation I've ever heard. Thank you."

"You're welcome." She blushed.

"I obviously have a soft spot for Texans."

"Yeah, me too, if I could find me one." Gil laughed and then stopped.

"Wouldn't you have better luck with that in Texas?"

"You trying to get rid of me already?" She laughed again.

"No. Sorry." Gil knew he may have stepped over a line.

"You're right; but I have two daughters, born here and my ex...well he was a lousy husband but he's a good father so I stayed."

"I understand; it's admirable that you've put your daughters' care above your own life."

"Hey, it's not that bad. I do love Vegas." She laughed again.

"Well I for one am very happy you chose to stay."

"Why, thanks, honey."

Gil felt happy and carefree...okay, Nick had pneumonia but it was manageable and he would get better...and there was every indication his operation and the chemotherapy had been, as expected, completely successful. Nick was cancer free.

He went back into Nick's room after changing his gown. Nick looked peaceful but Gil was going to wake him, he could sleep for the next twenty-four hours but he needed to know something.

"Nick, Nick, wake up for me." And he did, slowly.

"Wha... How long have I been asleep? He whispered.

"Maybe ten minutes? But I had to wake you to tell you something...they took bloods last night to test you for pneumonia but they also did a tumor marker test for your cancer and it came back absolutely normal. Isn't that great news?"

Nick frowned. "You woke me up to tell me something I knew?"

"You knew?"

"The Doc said he'd removed it all and the chemo was for precautionary measures...so..."

"Oh, yes, I suppose there is that." Gil was slightly disappointed with Nick's lack of enthusiasm but when he put it like that he was indeed free of cancer...ever since his operation. "Okay. You got me sweetheart, now you can go back to sleep."

"Thanks; go home and don't drink so much coffee you're buzzing around too much."

Gil laughed. "Whatever you say, sweetheart, whatever you say. I love you." But Nick was asleep.

Gil went to the lab on his way home and Catherine and Warrick were there.

"Gil, how is he?" Catherine came up to him and hugged him.

"Much better. He had a crisis a couple of hours ago when his temperature shot up...but he is much better now. I've left him sleeping and I'm on my way home. Is Ecklie in? I think I really do need some time off now. I'm going to be visiting him and then looking after him...probably for some weeks."

"I haven't seen him. But while Nick's in the hospital come into work. There's not much you can do with him in a hospital bed and that will give you more time at home with him when he's discharged." Gil considered what she'd said.

"You could be right. I will speak to Ecklie though. Are things okay with you?"

"Just fine. What do you think, Warrick?" She asked Warrick.

"I think...that in a couple more weeks I'll get that sweet beemer." He laughed.

"I worry that no one's missing me." Gil joked and chuckled.

"I know, weird isn't it?" Catherine agreed. Warrick laughed

"I'm saying nothing."

"I guess I know where I stand. I'm just Nick's partner."

"You got that right." Catherine laughed. "Don't be so hard on yourself, we like you really, don't we, Warrick?" She addressed Warrick with a questioning voice.

"I guess. But how long do you reckon before Nick's able to work again?"

"I don't know. I would say a very minimum of one month and I think two months may be more like it. It'll depend how quickly he can shake off the pneumonia and build up his strength. But one thing I have learned about him is that he is determined and tenacious and if he wants to come back he will...regardless of what I say. Which is one of the reasons why I want to see Ecklie." He didn't elaborate and neither of them asked him what he meant.

"We'll have to leave you to it; we have a four nineteen in Henderson. See you later."

"Thanks Catherine, Warrick."

Gil made his way to Ecklie's office. It was locked; he'd call him later, he decided. However, just as he walked out of the door to the car lot Ecklie was just arriving so he waited for him.

"Conrad."

"Something's happened, I take it?"

"Yes. Pneumonia. Came on in hours but the fever seems to have broken in hours, too. He's in an isolation ward at Desert Palm."

"You think it's over when the treatment finishes but it isn't, is it?"

"No. His immune system has been severely compromised and he could be vulnerable for...months...especially if he keeps getting infections."

"So this is where you ask for time off?"

They'd been walking towards Ecklie's office and had arrived. He unlocked the door and gestured for Gil to go before him.

"Yes, it is...but I have spoken to Catherine and she says that I should stay at work while he remains in hospital because there's nothing I can do, and she's right, there isn't. But when he gets out..."

"How long will you need?"

"I don't know...no idea at all. The problem is that Nick doesn't want to cause any disruption. He's been in work, as you know when he would have been better at home, but it's not just himself...he doesn't want me to be disrupted, or the team. Basically, he doesn't want his cancer to be the cause of any problems that he can possibly avoid."

"It's incredible when you think I have some staff who do all they can do to avoid work. So what do you want Gil...and I'll try my best to accommodate you."

"Two things. Indeterminate time off to look after Nick when he's discharged from the hospital; and you refusing to let Nick come back to work when he thinks he's ready...because I know for certain that he will want to come back too soon."

"I can do that. I can order him to be examined by the LVPD doctor whose job it is to determine fitness for work."

"That's exactly what I hoped you'd say. I have another request. Before he comes back to work I want to take a vacation with him...so that would be when he is fit for work but put off his return for a week or ten days. We both have sufficient leave days for that. Obviously, I won't expect Nick or me to be paid for the time we have to take off, other than Nick's statutory sick days."

"I can see about that...see what leeway I have. I cannot fault either of you for your commitment to your work and this lab for the years you've both been here. Let's get this right. You're coming into work now while he's in hospital? Yes?"

"Yes. Full duties, too. Get out at scenes again with the team."

"They've managed remarkable well. Did I once say that you didn't engender team spirit? I was wrong."

"Thank you Conrad, that means a lot." Gil was both touched and amazed at Ecklie's apology so he thought he could add his own. "I know we haven't seen eye to eye quite a few times over the years...but then, I can be an obstinate jackass."

Ecklie laughed out loud and Gil started chuckling but in moments both men were really laughing hard.

Ecklie spluttered. "I'm glad we got that out of way."

***

Gil went home to sleep and made it back to the hospital during the early evening and intended to go to work after he visited with Nick. He saw Nick through the observation window of his room as he donned the gown. He seemed as if he was asleep but he looked quite good. He wasn't as white as his pillow or as red as he'd been running the very high temperature.

As Gil walked into the room Nick was instantly awake and alert. "Hey, babe. How ya doin'?"

"I'm perfectly okay...how are you doing and what's with the twang?"

"Jessie's been in here and we've been swapping Texas stories." Gil went over to him and they kissed.

"You look good and sound even better. So how have you been today?"

"Been asleep mostly but I do feel better. They had me out of bed and I had a wash and cleaned my teeth. That wore me out so I then slept for hours again. But I've eaten...oatmeal. Twice. I didn't want anything else. I really wanted some of your toast and that green marmalade."

"I can bring some in..."

"...nah, man, I'm not going to be in here that long and it wouldn't taste the same anyways. It's your toast at our house that I love."

"So, have they given you any indication about when you can go home?" Gil was being cautious here, because he guessed that Nick would be in the hospital for a lot longer than he thought he would be.

"No, but I feel so much better they're not going to keep me here that long are they?" Gil's dilemma made him pause and Nick picked it up immediately so Gil knew his condition was vastly improved. "You know something don't you?" Nick was accusatory.

"I don't. Honestly. But I think that even if you do feel as if you could go home I think they may still keep you in..."

"....no...why?" He actually whined.

"Because of your circumstances. You have pneumonia and I must have been exposed to the same bacteria somewhere, or from someone, but with no ill-effects...but your compromised immune system couldn't fight it, at all, and it will need longer to fight off the infection...to get rid of it completely. You cannot afford to have any lingering problems when you're discharged because a second infection after this could be...dangerous." Gil was going to say a word far worse than dangerous but it stuck in his throat.

Nick looked at him and Gil knew an argument was a heartbeat away, but then he lay back and closed his eyes, thought for a few moments and opened them again and spoke. "You were going to say fatal, weren't you?"

Gil bit his lip and nodded.

"You're right. I don't want to have had cancer, got rid of the cancer and then fall at the last hurdle. Do I?"

"No, sweetheart, you don't."

"Okay. I'll be good. Well, I'll try and be good." Gil leaned over him again and kissed him.

"I love you."

"I know you do. Fuck cancer. Fuck chemo. Fuck pneumonia. We're the only ones that really matter!"

"I cannot disagree with your sentiments." Gil noticed that he was starting to tire after their exchange. It was hard to remember that he was so sturdy and healthy a couple of months ago. "But I have some news."

"Is this gossip?" Nick perked up a little.

"No. I don't gossip...much. No, this is about work. I'm going into work tonight and I'm resuming normal duties...while you're in here. When you do come out I'll be at home with you..."

"...I can go into work with you."

"No, you can't..."

"...why not?" Nick was indignant but getting very tired.

"Because I have spoken to Ecklie and he's said that you will need to have an official exam with the LVPD doctor before he will allow you back at work. I think he was quite shook up with you being in the hospital and he wants everything done right now."

"Huh." Nick looked pissed.

"But...when you have been cleared for work you're not going back straight away...and neither am I...because we're going to go on a vacation and get..."

"...married?" He smiled and lifted his hand to Gil's face. "In that case I will not moan and whine ever again."

"Are you sure?" Gil was sceptical.

"No. Where shall we go?"

"Hawaii? Beach wedding?"

"Yes, man. Just us, no one else. Our own private marriage."

"I was thinking that, but if you want some of your fam..."

"...hell, no! We do not want any of my family interfering."

"Then when you get home we will devote ourselves to the planning and execution of our wedding."

"Why would I want to go to work anyways, when we've got all that to do?" He smiled.

"That's what I thought." It wasn't; it was what he'd hoped for but he hadn't been at all sure he could pull it off.

"I'm really tired now babe, but I can have some sweet dreams. Hey, you could bring in my laptop and I could do some research..."

"...I think, Nick, the purpose of you being kept in here is to rest and get better."

"The sooner I'm better the sooner we can get married..." He paused and thought something and the spoke again. "...you've set me up, Gil Grissom."

"I have. I'm rather pleased with myself." He smirked.

"Love ya, cowboy. I do need my laptop though because I can e-mail the family and keep them in the loop; we don't want any nasty surprises if they think we're being evasive or incognito."

Nick was fading fast and was asleep when Gil left but they'd already said their goodbyes. Gil felt a real relief as he drove into work. With Nick safe in the hospital he felt as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He was still very worried about him and his health but thought that he was in a safe, isolated, environment. Of course, there were infections that were specific to hospitals and he could contract one of those but he felt as long as he was isolated that would be a minimal risk. But, nevertheless, it was still something he could worry about...

At work he went out to a homicide with Warrick and enjoyed the crime scene investigation with renewed vigour. He did feel guilty for enjoying the work when Nick was lying in a hospital bed...but he had Nick's blessing and he felt a lightness about him because he didn't have to worry about looking after Nick. But then he felt guilty for thinking that...he knew he couldn't win, he was resigned to the feelings but still, he couldn't wait for Nick to be back at home with him.

He'd been sitting at a desk for so long he knew there was nothing in comparison to the real thing and he knew that Nick would be severely tested by being confined to the lab, probably for a couple more months even after he returned, although Gil hadn't mentioned it, he felt sure that Dr Gupta would not allow Nick out and about until he was absolutely certain he was back to normal.

That would be another hurdle for Nick to face. But he would be far more likely to follow Dr Gupta's edict than anything Gil said so Gil intended to keep quiet about it...he didn't want to be the bad guy all the time.

He worked several hours over and visited Nick on the way home. He'd showered at work and changed his clothes before visiting Nick and it was good news. Nick was making a really good recovery, there was no doubt about that, and Gil had a list of things that he had to take into Nick on his evening visit. But when he got home he was absolutely poleaxed. Physical work, longer hours and the stress of Nick; he went straight to bed and slept until the alarm sounded.

And that's how it was for Gil for the next week. Working long hours, since they'd inexplicably got really busy, but also each of the team members were taking much needed rest days to recuperate from the run of work they'd done to compensate for Nick's loss in the lab and Gil's loss in the field. Gil still visited Nick twice a day and his progress was steady and all one way, he had no relapses. He looked better to Gil, every time he saw him and he was getting stronger each day.

Nick stayed in the hospital for eight days. He completed a seven day course of his antibiotic and it seemed to have done the trick, though he had strict instructions to stay at home for two weeks to give his immune system a chance to recover its fighting properties. Since the hospital staff had told Nick about work Ecklie said he would be guided by what Dr Gupta said to Gil...not Nick...about returning to work. And to Gil's delight he told Nick this in a telephone conversation on his first day home. Without any prompting from Gil.

They had just under two weeks to wait until they saw Dr Gupta and Gil had sufficient leave to cover the time off and keep some in reserve for Hawaii...it was definitely going to be Hawaii...and emergencies.

Ecklie was less successful with the financial aspect for Nick but with his accrued sick leave he was able to be paid until two days before he was discharged and Gil forfeited fifteen days of his own accumulated sick days to Nick. Money was no problem since he'd always been a careful saver and had good reserves. Added to that Gil was still earning his full wage, so he was quite happy to be a kept man.

Their life was quiet and although Nick was undoubtedly getting better each day he still had a long way to go. He was still bald and every day checked for some regrowth...it was supposed to be fuzz at first and then turn to proper hair growth about a month after chemo finished...but there were no hard and fast rules. Mostly, he was worried about curls. He thought if he had any curls he would look like a freak. He was not a curly haired kind of guy. And yet he loved Gil's curls...but then he was a curly haired kind of guy.

They went out walking three or four times a day and Nick was able to walk a little further each day. He wasn't as tired as he had been but he still needed a long sleep and several naps each day.

They spent time working out the logistics of their wedding. They decided that it would definitely be just the two of them and whatever official was needed to conduct the ceremony and two witnesses. They agreed that they would just ask someone who was around that day to do the honours. They wanted it to be about them and no one else. They couldn't book anything or finalise anything because they didn't know when Nick would be allowed to fly and, of course, Nick wanted hair.

Gil realised that they would probably have to go back to work before they took their vacation but in the scheme of things that really wasn't a big problem. In fact, Gil had to confess and Nick agreed, wholeheartedly, that nothing would ever be a problem again. Facing and fighting cancer was the biggest problem they'd ever faced and in their case, luckily, a surmountable problem. It put any and everything else into perspective.

"But do you think you'll still think that next year or the year after, say, when you get a flat on your truck in the middle of a rain storm? Bad times are forgotten and you move on and eventually everything gets to be the same again."

"That, Nick Stokes, is a very valid point. But I suppose we must remember this experience, however terrible it's been, and try not to forget that everything else is inconsequential. Besides if I get a flat...I'll call you."

"Why do I think you're not joking?"

"Because I would? Besides you like tinkering with trucks."

"Changing a flat in a rain storm is not tinkering."

"Well we could tinker together in the truck until it stopped raining." Gil waggled his eyebrows and Nick laughed.

"I think your tyres are the type fitted with those automatic inflation devices which will be good for another ten or fifteen miles."

"Spoilsport."

***

The day before Nick's appointment with Dr Gupta he had to go to the hospital for a blood test. He already knew that the tumour markers were normal since they'd tested him when he'd been admitted with pneumonia. But it would be good to see where they stood now some three weeks later.

The morning after the blood test Nick was up, unusually before Gil, and in the shower really early. Gil was half awake and aware of the movement and then he rolled onto his back and smiled. Nick was trying to make the appointment come quicker. He was obviously nervous about it but for some strange reason Gil wasn't.

After Nick contracted pneumonia the feelings that Gil had been having about something going badly wrong completely dissipated. Something had gone wrong...the pneumonia...and now everything would be okay. He felt that as strongly as he'd felt the doom previously. He was no longer the Lord of Doom...

Gil got out of bed and ambled over to the bathroom...it was full of steam and he could hear Nick singing to himself...very quietly. He pissed, washed his hands and then opened the shower door.

"What's the rush? It's five o'clock in the morning...the appointment isn't until eight."

"Just woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay. I'll go get some coffee going. Do you want your breakfast early too?"

"No...yeah. I can do it."

"So can I." Gil was happy to cook but he was being provocative because Nick wanted to do more as he was getting steadily better and cooking breakfast was usually what he wanted to do.

"Let me. Man, it's not taxing to cook a breakfast."

"Okay then. How about I get back into bed and you can serve me breakfast in bed?"

Nick face lit up and he grinned. "That would be great. Go back to bed immediately."

"Your command is my wish." He grinned back at Nick as Nick rolled his eyes at the mixed metaphor and then went straight back to bed. Nick started singing loudly with some obscene lyrics to a country song and Gil smiled as he settled back in bed. Nick was obviously feeling a lot better. He came out of the bathroom a few minutes later.

"Change of plan."

Gil poked his head out of the bedding. "Now I've got to get up and cook breakfast?"

"Nah, man, I'm coming back to bed for pre-breakfast sex. What do you think?"

Gil didn't speak but lifted the blankets up for Nick to get into bed. He was warm but a bit damp and still very thin although he had put on three pounds in the last two weeks. His eyes shone and looked enormous in their hairless sockets...Gil had become used to Nick without hair and although he missed it, it wasn't a major problem for him, or Nick.

Nick lay almost on top of Gil and started kissing him and Gil put his arms around Nick to hold him close and then rub his back...as much to dry it some more as to inflame his lover. Nick liked being stroked all over. It was a favourite pastime even if it wasn't a prelude to lovemaking.

But Gil was losing concentration of his thoughts and starting to react to Nick's kisses and rutting against him and he ran his hands up Nick's spine and onto his head to pull him closer and then stopped and pushed Nick away.

"What's the matter?" Nick looked down at Gil.

"I feel hair...on the back of your head."

"Really?" Nick pulled away and ran his hands over his head.

"You're right there's a bit of a fuzzy growth...I missed that 'cause I towelled my head dry. Hey, good news." He grinned and dived back down onto Gil who ran his hands over his head to feel the soft fuzziness of growth. It warmed his innards...although that could have been his erection and growing desire for his wonderful lover.

They made love gently and thoroughly and ended with mutual masturbation. Nick was regaining his sexual prowess and it no longer took him an age to ejaculate but it still made him very tired. He was soon asleep and Gil looked at him and decided that he would be the one making breakfast after all.

And some time later after another shower for Nick and Gil's first, Gil made a cooked breakfast and they both ate well and ended up, despite Nick's early start, having to rush and made it to Dr Gupta's office with only two minutes to spare.

They were called in to see him after barely getting settled in the chairs in the waiting area. Nick took Gil's hand and led him into the office.

"Gentlemen. How are you?" Dr Gupta was smiling broadly and appeared in very good spirits.

"'I'm very well, thank you, Doctor, and this morning discovered that my hair has started to grow back."

"Good news; a sign that you are returning to normal. And how have you been?" He asked Gil directly.

"It's been a rollercoaster ride I don't mind admitting but I feel we've come through it intact."

"It makes you stronger, generally speaking, but there are those that cannot cope." He returned to his chair and indicated that they should sit. "I'll get straight to the point; your blood test makes excellent reading. Your white blood cell count is slowly improving...it's a lot better than it was when you were discharged from the hospital. And your tumour markers are beyond excellent. They are actually on the very low side of normal. No sign of any cancer. It was gruelling for you, I know, and then the pneumonia...but worth it...every minute. You are in remission and I fully expect you to stay there, as cured as you can be. I will want to keep a close eye on you for a year...and then regular check-ups for the rest of your life. A small inconvenience for you, but essential."

"I understand. When can I go back to work?"

"Not yet. I would like you to spend another two weeks away from work then you may work part-time and gradually build up your strength. You cannot go out of your lab...I do not want you being exposed to your, crime scenes, until I have seen you again, but you may go out ordinarily."

Nick was plainly disappointed and for a moment Gil thought he would argue but then he nodded.

"Okay. Two weeks at home then part time...working up to full time and only in the lab until I see you again. So when do you want yo see me again?"

"In eight weeks' time."

"Eight weeks?" Nick did pull a face at this.

"You need to be one hundred percent, plus, before you venture out into the great unknown." Gil added his voice to the doctors.

"You make it sound like... I'm boldly going where no man has been...it's Vegas."

Dr Gupta smiled. "I understand your frustration but I want you to be completely well before you are exposed to anything out of the ordinary. Your white cell count is not yet normal although it has improved since your pneumonia, so until that reaches a normal reading too, you must stay in at your work."

"He won't be going out I can assure you." Gil assured the doctor and smirked at Nick.

Nick huffed. "I know when to concede defeat. And it was remiss of me not to thank you, Doctor, for your good work...the op, the chemo. I owe my life to you."

"On the contrary; you owe your life to your partner who found the tumour...the cancer, so early. That's the key to a successful recovery."

"It is and you're right." Nick smiled at Gil; he knew he was one lucky guy and then remembered something else. "What about going to the gym...working out?"

"No working out until I see you again, walking...brisk walking is good and swimming but no working out."

"Okay."

They said their goodbyes and made two appointments for eight weeks' time, one for a blood test and one for Dr Gupta, and they left the offices. They made their way to the Chemo suite and saw Susan sitting at a desk. She looked across and saw him and waved and got up.

"Nick, you look so good."

"I feel good. Just got the all clear from Dr Gupta...just got to get my white blood count back to normal and that will be the end of it."

The chatted for some time and waved at some familiar faces but then Susan had to go to a patient so they hugged once more and left.

"We could go and look at engagement rings....wedding rings?" Nick suggested hopefully as they walked to the truck.

"Yes, we could. Start at the Forum?"

"As good a place as any." Nick smiled at Gil. "It was great news wasn't it? I mean I knew anyway before we went in but to hear it makes me feel good. It's just three months and look what's happened in that time."

"I know and Dr Gupta said it would be three months when you first saw him. It's the best news I think I've ever heard in my life."

"Even better than when you were told your hearing was going to be okay."

"There's no comparison; losing your hearing is bad....but losing your life is considerably worse."

"I guess it is when you put it like that. We fought the enemy and won."

"You did."

"We did...couldn't have done it without you along for the ride."

"I felt every bump in the road."

"Shall we blow off the Forum and go home...relax on the deck and maybe have a beer?"

"Sounds like a plan."

"I want you to go to work, Gil. Don't stay with me now I'm nearly better."

"Do I have to?"

"That sounded like a whine to me. Yes, you do. I've only got two weeks at home and I can catch up with reading all the forensic stuff I've missed. And when I start back part-time can I work every shift for a few hours and then I can rest up on my bed in your office...if I need to."

"Okay. But you will not be working more than a half a shift...if that, if you get tired. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir, Supervisor Grissom."

"Just so you know."

As Gil had predicted once the pneumonia was well and truly over it all gradually got back to normal. Nick returned to the lab and worked for four hours each shift for a week...then six hours for two weeks and eight hours for two weeks. He then he let him work the whole shift and even a little overtime in the week before he saw Dr Gupta again. To see if he could cope. He had no problems whatsoever...except his moaning and groaning about being confined to the lab. It got to the stage where his colleagues would roll their eyes and wonder off mid-groan... But Nick took it like a man...and moaned at Hodges...continually. Payback. And Hodges never complained once; but his face told a thousand tales...

By the time Nick saw the doctor his hair was growing back and much to his great relief it was straight...still no curls in the Stokes family. The doctor discharged Nick for four months and agreed that he could work full shifts and go to scenes. If he became too tired then he should cut back again and gradually work up to it again. Gil promised to make sure that Nick was never compromised. But in reality he moved to his fulltime work and investigation as if he'd never been away.

And he started working out and building up his body again. He looked as if he'd never had cancer, never been sick.

They took a week off to vacation in Hawaii and married on a beach at dusk. An elderly and surprisingly liberal couple, celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary, were delighted to act as witnesses. Their wedding bands matched and were platinum with a half band of baguette cut diamonds inset in a channel. Gil had never worn a ring before and he was quite besotted with it and kept looking at it and admiring it. Nick smiled and would put his hand up beside Gil's so they could see their rings together. The engraving inside Gil's ring said, 'Love Nick x' and inside Nick's it said, 'Love Gil x'.

About six months after Nick had returned to work Gil was walking along the corridor when he spotted Nick chatting to Wendy in the her lab; her glossy hair was now cut into a short bob. Gil stood and looked at Nick for a few moments. He looked absolutely great, but then Gil was biased. He'd bulked up again at the gym...maybe not as much as before but he looked good enough to eat...maybe Gil would do just that later, swallow his hard–on. He blushed slightly at the thought and the warmth in his boxer shorts; he cleared his throat.

"Nick, may I see you in my office please?"

"Yeah, on my way." Nick reckoned he was in some kind of trouble as Gil was all business-like...never a good sign. He walked along the corridor just behind Gil and as he arrived in the glass bowl of an office, Gil had just reached his desk.

"Close the door, will you please?"

"Uh-uh what have I done?"

"Done?" Gil looked puzzled.

"You've called me into the office and I've had to close the door so you're going to read me the riot act?"

"No, nothing of the kind. Sit down, Nick." Gil was frowning as he sat down at his desk opposite Nick.

"So?"

"Nick, I've been thinking..."

"...you don't say."

Gil chuckled. "Okay. Okay. Nick, I have been thinking about your testis. Unless you really want to have a prosthetic testis I don't think you should have the operation..."

"...that's what you've been thinking about at work?" Gil had surprised Nick because they hadn't spoken about his missing ball for months and they hadn't ever really discussed it in detail.

"I'm allowed a little personal time and no one knows what I'm thinking...most of the time anyway." He smirked at Nick because they both knew that Nick could tell what was on Gil's mind sometimes...especially when he wanted sex.

"Why don't you want me to have the op?"

"Because it is an operation. Another general anesthetic, another operation. You've been through enough and I don't think you should put yourself through another operation...even if it's a routine procedure...for cosmetic purposes. Unless, Nick, you feel you really need a...a new ball. I don't miss it, you are a...complete...man to me." Gil really emphasised the 'complete'.

Nick smiled. "Okay then, I won't bother."

"That's it? You've decided?" Gil was expecting an argument or some discussion at the very least.

"Yeah. I don't feel that I need a substitute ball and if you don't want one either, it's a pointless exercise."

Gil sat back in his chair and took off his glasses and looked at Nick. He could still surprise him. And then it came to him in a flash of understanding.

"You would have done it for me?" He almost whispered the words as he fully understood the implication of what Nick would have done...just for him.

"Yeah." Was all Nick said.

"I love you."

"I know you do and if you do want me to have it done, I will."

"I really don't. Battle scars...a reminder of what you've been through...and that you've emerged victorious."

Nick laughed. "Man, all you need now is, 'The Battle Hymn of the Republic'...to set the scene.

Gil looked at the smiling happy face before him and he spoke. "The battles have been waged and you've fought each one and won. The war is over; the enemy defeated."

The End

***

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