Previous part of First Time.

***

Speed took Mac back to the airport the next morning. "Have you thought about where you're going to stay while you're doing all this?" he asked.
 
"I have the money for a hotel, Speedle," Mac replied. "I'm not expecting to stay at Horatio's house so don't worry about that. And I'll rent a car when I come back so you don't have to worry about driving me around all the time."
 
"It's not a problem and you don't need to spend that much money," Speed said. "Look, I may be pissed as hell at you, but you're trying and I have to give you credit for that. Delko and I have a guest room that you can use. I'm guessing it'll only be for about a week anyway, no matter how much I grumble about it."
 
"There's no way Horatio will let me move into his guest room in under a week," Mac said. "And I seriously doubt you or the rest of the team would allow it."
 
"H called me this morning," Speed said. "He wants me to back off just a little so you're not so stressed out. The man has a huge heart and is always looking out for everyone else. That's the reason that we watch him so closely. He doesn't always know his limits and will put everything on the line for the victims."
 
"I swear on my honor as a Marine that I will move at a slug's pace for this, Tim," Mac said. "And if you doubt that then there's nothing else I can do to convince you of my sincerity in wanting to fix all this."
 
"I've known a few Marines," Speed said. "I also know that's the strictest oath you can take. I'll call the hounds off for now, but we're all going to be watching and if we see something we don't like..."
 
"Yeah, snipping time," Mac said with a shudder.

"Call me when you have your flight info to come back," Speed said. "And someone will be here to pick you up."
 
"Thank you," Mac said. "It shouldn't take me more than a week to get this all taken care of. I just hope Stella isn't too mad at me."
 
Speed snorted. "That's all you need, Taylor. Someone else who is mad at you."
********************
 
When Mac got back to New York he took a taxi directly to the lab, hoping that he would be able to find Stella before their shift started. He wasn't lucky enough to find her alone, but finding Danny in the room saved him some time. "Do you two have a minute?"
 
"What's up, Mac?" Danny asked.
 
"I've decided I'm going to take a leave of absence from the department," Mac replied. He shut the door to Stella's office and sat down so his back was to the glass wall. "I made a mistake and I need the time away to fix it and move on with my life."
 
"Is this why you've been so grumpy and secretive lately?" Danny asked.
 
"Yeah," Mac said. "Do you remember when you asked me if Horatio had found me, Danny? And I said I wished he hadn't."
 
"Sure, you confused the hell outta me with that one," Danny said with a small grin.
 
"This isn't easy for me to say, but you two are the closest friends I have, and are the only ones I plan on telling," Mac said with a sigh. "When Horatio first came to New York back in 04 we started a physical relationship. It was hard because we live in different cities but every chance we had to see each other, we took. And I love him. I love him more than anything, except maybe Claire and he knows that."
 
"Well, that's good, Mac," Stella said. "You know that Claire would want you to move on and be happy. So what's the big deal?"
 
Danny rubbed his eyes. "Mac, you didn't."
 
"I did," Mac said. "And admitting that is harder than telling the two of you about my relationship with Horatio."
 
"Do you guys want to clue me in here?" Stella asked.
 
"He cheated on Horatio," Danny replied.
 
"In a nutshell only it never went past kissing," Mac said. "I'm still not sure exactly what happened but the night Peyton dragged me to that dinner we, somehow, ended up back at my apartment and in bed. And Horatio was there waiting for me. He'd come to New York to surprise me and, instead, he got the surprise. I also found out that he's been horribly abused by his family and that only added to his insecurities. For the past month I've been on restrictions put into place by one of his co-workers, his best friend. But I've decided that I'm going to take this leave of absence and go down to Miami and make everything right between me and Horatio."
 
"I feel like I should smack you," Stella said. "How could you be so stupid, Mac?"
 
"Trust me, that point has been driven home quite well by Horatio's team," Mac said with a shudder. "His medical examiner threatened to castrate me if I hurt Horatio again. Look, I'm still on restrictions, but I want to make this relationship work. One way I can prove that to Horatio is to move to Miami for a while. I'm to the point that I'd willingly quit here and move down their permanently if it meant I'd be able to be with him for the rest of our lives. I love him, Stella. And that's all that matters to me right now. I have to show him how much I do love him."
 
"So what do you need from us, Mac?" Stella asked.
 
"Well, with me gone, you'll be put in charge of the shift," Mac replied. "And Danny, I'm going to recommend you for her second. You have the time, you're a great CSI, and you're a wonderful teacher. Just take care of everything for me and you'll be fine."
 
"When are you leaving?" Danny asked.
 
"As soon as I get my leave approved and pack," Mac said. "I told Horatio no more than week and I really want to keep my promise to him."
 
"Will you let us know if there's anything else we can do?" Stella asked.
 
"Of course," Mac said.
 
"Hey, don't look so surprised, Mac," Stella said. "I think you forget how well Danny and I know you. We've both known that there was something bothering you. We just didn't know what it was until you told us."
 
Danny patted Mac on the shoulder. "Yeah, thanks for trusting us with that."
 
"What do we tell the others?"
 
"Tell them I'm thinking about where I want my life to lead," Mac said. "It isn't far off of the truth. They don't need to know everything."
 
"What if Peyton comes looking for you?"
 
"I doubt she will, Stella," Mac sighed. "Somehow I think she was just as embarrassed by that night as I was. She's been professional about our relationship ever since. Now I'm going to go and call the bosses and get things rolling, unless you want to rake me over the coals some more."
 
Stella grinned. "Nope, it sounds like the Miami team took care of that for us," she said. "But I might give them a call and have them call us with updates on how you're doing. I mean, we kinda need to know if they kill you."
 
Danny started laughing at Mac's growl. "She's gotta point there, boss," he said. "Stel, I can save you some time. I know Speed down in Miami. I'll give him a call."
 
"Why am I not surprised," Mac groaned.
********************
 
Mac had just hung up his phone when his office door opened and in walked the last person he wanted to see while he was in New York. "Peyton, what can I do for you?" he asked.
 
"If you're busy, I can come back later," she said.
 
"I'm getting ready to leave," Mac replied.
 
"Oh, well then I'll make this as quick as I can," Peyton said. "I was wondering if you'd like to join me for dinner later this week?"
 
"That isn't a good idea, Peyton," Mac said.
 
"Well, I thought perhaps we could try again and see if it was a better night for you," Peyton said with a smile. "But if you're busy, maybe next week?"
 
"No, Peyton, you misunderstood," Mac said. "I'm leaving the city for an unknown period of time. I made a mistake and hurt someone I love deeply and I'm going to fix it. And based on that it isn't a good idea for you to continue to harbor any sort of notions towards me other than purely professional."
 
"Do you know when you'll be returning?"
 
"I don't," Mac said. "Because I don't know how long it'll take to set things right."
 
"Mac, have you considered that you might not be able to make things right between you and the red headed gentleman I saw in your apartment?" she asked.
 
Mac went completely still. "You knew he was there," he whispered. "You bitch."
 
"What?"
 
"Why didn't you say something?" Mac demanded.
 
"Because it was fairly obvious that you wanted to be with me that night, no matter what the other man wanted with you," Peyton said.
 
"So obvious based on what?" Mac asked. "The fact that I was kissing you? I regret that more than I can tell you. You can't base it off of my body's reaction because it quite obviously didn't want you. I can't believe you didn't tell me he was there. Get out of my office, now."
 
"Mac, I don't know what...."
 
"Out," Mac hissed, "before I do something I really will regret."
 
Stella watched as Peyton fled from Mac's office and then went in just in time to see Mac slam his fist against his desk. "Do I want to know?" she asked.
 
"That bitch saw Horatio in my apartment and didn't say a word about it," he snarled. "I bet she enjoyed every second of pain she saw reflected in his eyes too. If she had stayed another second in here, I would've killed her. How could I have been so blind, Stella?"
 
"You've been trying to make things right with Horatio and that's where your focus should have been," Stella said. "Peyton changed while she was teaching and I don't even recognize her. Don't dwell on this, Mac. Leave her to me and Danny. You go and take care of Horatio. And if you get a better offer down there, you sure as hell had better take it. New York can function without you. I don't know if Horatio can."
 
"Thanks Stella. You're one in a million."
 
"Oh sure, now you figure that out," Stella laughed. She held up her hands and made a little sweeping motion with them. "Go on, shoo. Horatio needs you."

***

Mac wasn't too surprised to find Tim Speedle and Eric Delko waiting for him at the airport when he arrived back in Miami. He opened the door to the back of the Hummer, tossed in his bags and then carefully set the box he was carrying on the floor. "Gentlemen, I need to speak with Dr. Woods, please."
 
"Why do you need to see Alexx?" Speed asked as he pulled into traffic.
 
"And do you think it's a good idea?" Eric added.
 
"Please," Mac replied. "It has to do with Peyton and I need a woman's advice."
 
Speed nodded. "She should still be at the morgue, but she's on her way to a medical conference so I'm warning you that we might miss her," he said. "What's in the box?"
 
"I saw the cookies at Horatio's house and stopped at a bakery in New York," Mac said. "I brought him some gourmet cookies and candies."
 
"He'll like that," Eric said with a grin. "H hides his sweet tooth pretty well, but I do know he uses cookies as a comfort food. So I hear you're staying with us for a while."
 
"I agree with Speedle that it's probably not a good idea for me to stay with Horatio right now," Mac said. "I was willing to stay in a hotel but that idea was vetoed pretty fast."
 
"There's no reason for you to blow your bank account like that when we have room," Speed said. "And I have to tell you that Horatio has looked different since you left. And it's different in a good way. The sparkle has come back to his eyes and he's been holding his head up a little more. I had my doubts about the two of you, but seeing him this past week they're starting to dissolve. You might just win me over yet, Taylor."
 
Mac smiled wryly. "I won't hold my breath," he said. "I still feel like I'm in a movie from a hundred years ago courting with a stern father looking over my shoulder at every move I make. It's not easy, I'll tell you that much."
 
"Just remember the rules and you'll be fine," Speed said. "But I'll add a new one; if Horatio asks for something and you think he's ready for it, go ahead. I think its time to let him set the pace a little more and for me to back off; no matter how much I hate the idea."
 
"I wish there was a way I could make this all not have happened," Mac sighed. "But it might be good in the long run because now Horatio and I are being able to take the time to really get to know each other and rebuild our relationship on a firmer base. Last time we just sort of fell into bed and were both focused on sex. It's not healthy by any stretch of the imagination and now I realize how much I really could have hurt him."
 
"You've been given a gift," Speed said. "Don't throw it away again. Now, I'll wait here while you go in and talk with Alexx. Eric has to get back to work."
 
"Thank you," Mac said. "I'll try not to take too long."
********************
 
Alexx looked up when the door to her morgue opened. "Detective Taylor," she said coolly. "What can I do for you?"
 
"I need your help, Dr. Woods," Mac said. "I know I don't have any right to ask you this, but please just hear me out. Speedle mentioned that you're going to an ME's conference. Do you know, or know of, Peyton Driscoll?"
 
"I've heard the name," Alexx said.
 
"She's the one I was with when I hurt Horatio," Mac said. "That night was my fault and I take full responsibility for it. But when I went back to New York to get my affairs in order to move down here for six months she approached me again. I found out that she had seen Horatio in my apartment that night and didn't say anything because she wanted to hurt him and drive him away so she could have me all to herself. I feel sick, Dr. Woods. Just knowing that Horatio was there hurts me more than I can say, but to know that she saw him and used me like that...I had to throw her out of my office before I hit or killed her."
 
Alexx nodded slowly. "I think I see where you're going with this," she said. "I make no promises, Detective, but if I happen to run into Dr. Driscoll at the conference, I might have a few words of advice for her. Now, I understand you're here to court one of my babies."
 
"I am," Mac said. "And I've sworn an oath that I won't hurt him again, Dr. Woods. I love Horatio and I'm willing to take the time to prove it to him."
 
"I can see that," she said. "And he's talked with all of us about backing down so you're able to relax a little. Sugar, I gotta tell you that I don't back down when one of my own is hurt so my conditions still stand."
 
Mac smiled. "I wouldn't have that any other way," he said. "Thank you for loving Horatio that much. He needs it."
 
"I know he does," Alexx said. "I know he does."
********************
 
That night, Speed dropped Mac off at Horatio's house with a warning that he would be back around eleven to pick him up. Mac had the box in one hand and wiped the other down his black jeans. He couldn't remember the last time he had been so nervous about a date – maybe back in high school – only none of those mattered nearly as much as the one in front of him.
 
"Hello Mac," Horatio said softly when he opened the door.
 
"Horatio," Mac smiled. "I brought you something from New York."
 
"Thank you," Horatio said. He stepped back to let his friend into the house. Mac handed over the box and Horatio leaned in to kiss him softly in reply. "Dinner is in the kitchen at the moment, I thought we could eat out on the deck."
 
"And listen to the ocean?"
 
"Yeah."
 
"Just tell me what I can do to help," Mac said. "Did you cook?"
 
"I don't cook much, just enough to get by, but there are a few things I do cook very well," Horatio said. "This is one of my mother's dishes that she taught me when my father wasn't home for a week. I think he was probably off drinking and lost track of time, but it was one of the happiest times of my life because I didn't have to worry."
 
Mac sniffed the air as he followed Horatio into the kitchen. "I can't pick out what it is, but it smells wonderful, Horatio. Do you need me to set out the dishes?"
 
"No, I already set the deck table," Horatio said. "We just have to carry the serving dishes outside. And its lamb with rice and a mild curry."
 
"That explains why I can't pick out the meat," Mac grinned.
 
When they were settled, Horatio looked over at Mac. "Tell me why you joined the Marines, Mac," he said softly. "I've always been curious about that."
 
"It's all I ever wanted to do," Mac said. "And I would've done anything to be able to join the Corps. And even after the bombing, after seeing my friends die around me, I've never been sorry that I became a Marine. Being able to defend my country is important to me and this was the best way for me to do it."
 
"I'd forgotten you lived through one of the bombings," Horatio said. "I won't ask you for details, Mac, because I know they'll be painful."
 
"No, its okay," Mac said. "I just haven't talked about it much with anyone but Don Flack. When we were in the building and the bomb went off, I had flashbacks to that day when the barracks was bombed. Flack's wound was so much like the one my friend took in the blast, only this time I knew enough to be able to save Flack. After it was all over, I realized that half of what I had been seeing wasn't really there, that it was all in my mind, and I had to stop and think about a few things. I went through all the required counseling and crap they put you through after a traumatic incident – both times – but I also realized that it never really leaves you. And I can't help but wonder if soldiers are ticking time-bombs just waiting for the right trigger to explode."
 
"But you didn't," Horatio said. "You used the bad experience to keep Flack alive and that is what counts, Mac. I suppose we both have our scars to bear."
 
"May I?" Mac asked, his hand hovering over Horatio's.
 
"Yes."
 
"You shouldn't have your scars, Horatio," Mac said. "I chose the path that led me to mine. Your father made the choice for you and that wasn't fair to you or your family. And I'm sorry that I've reopened so many of the old wounds."
 
Horatio curled his hand around Mac's. "Maybe it was time," he whispered. "I don't know that they ever truly healed because I was always so afraid of them and my reactions that I didn't want to open up enough to let them heal. I didn't get a chance to tell you this, but after we spoke on the beach about Hank, that was the first night since he died that I didn't have a nightmare about him. I think now he can truly rest and move on because I've been able to let go. I still blame myself, but the pain isn't as all powering as it was before."
 
"Come dance with me," Mac said.
 
"Mac?"
 
"Come on, it'll be fun," Mac grinned. "I'll even let you lead."
 
"I thought the taller partner always led," Horatio said with a small smile. "You're not going to let me get too bogged down in memories are you?"
 
"We do need to talk through our pasts to be able to move forward," Mac said. "But I don't want either of us drowning in what we talk about. You need to heal, I need to hear and we both need to move forward. And I'm going to tell you this hundreds of thousands of times; I love you."
 
"I know," Horatio said. He wrapped his arms around Mac and sighed as he felt the warm, familiar body settle against his own. "I love you too."
 
The pair swayed gently for a while, the sound of the ocean their music when Horatio suddenly broke the silence. "I never knew you had such an evil streak," he said softly.
 
"What?"
 
"Siccing Alexx on Dr. Driscoll," Horatio replied. "I agree that she needs to figure out that you're not interested in her in any way, but that's just mean."
 
"I thought it was appropriate, considering," Mac said. "How'd you know?"
 
"I was at the lab when Speed picked you up," Horatio said. "He called and said you were insistent on talking with Alexx and I was curious on what could've been so important – given that she threatened you with her rib cutters last time you were in town. Did Driscoll really see me in the apartment?"
 
"That's what she says and I'm inclined to believe her," Mac sighed. "I was honestly mad enough to kill her, H. When I found out she used me to hurt you like that, I could have killed her. And if she hadn't left my office when she did, then I might have."
 
"I'm glad you didn't because then I would've lost you," Horatio said. "And I have to admit, I'm looking forward to having Alexx home again to find out exactly what happened at her conference."
 
Mac laughed. "Now who has the evil streak?" he asked.
 
"You," Horatio replied. He leaned back a little and studied Mac's face for a moment.
 
"What?" Mac asked, a little puzzled.
 
In reply, Horatio leaned in and kissed Mac softly. Mac kept the kiss light on purpose, not wanting to push his inexperienced lover too far, especially with how fragile Horatio's mindset had been the past few weeks. Horatio made a noise that was half protest and half moan and pressed in a little tighter, lips opening and his tongue running along Mac's bottom lip. Mac groaned and opened to the invader, meeting it with his own tongue and deepening the kiss and angling his head a little to make it more comfortable for both of them.
 
But when he felt their cocks starting to take an interest in the proceedings, he pulled back. "No, Horatio," he panted. "You're not ready for this. Not yet."
 
"I know," Horatio said. He rested his forehead against Mac's for a moment. "That doesn't mean I don't want to though. Because I really, really do."
 
"Use what I taught you when you go to bed tonight," Mac said. "Come on, let's clean up our mess from dinner and watch a movie before Speedle gets here. I promise we'll get back to where we were, Horatio. But we're moving slowly this time. I refuse to hurt you again – for any reason."

***

When Mac arrived at Horatio's house the next evening along with pizza and a movie Horatio had mentioned wanting to see, he was concerned to find that his lover wasn't at home. Even more concerning was the fact that the front door was unlocked. With a frown, Mac took out his cell phone and dialed Speed's number.
 
"Speedle."
 
"Is Horatio still at the lab?" Mac asked as he put the pizza in the oven. 
 
"No, he took off a couple of hours ago," Speed replied.
 
"Well he's not home and his door was unlocked,"
Mac said. "Do you have any idea where he might be?"
 
"He didn't say anything to me," Speed said. "Hang on a second, hey Delko, did H mention anything to you about plans for the night?"
 
Mac wasn't sure exactly where Delko was standing but he was able to hear the younger man's answer. "No, but he had me do the final interview in our case today," he said.
 
"Well that's strange," Speed commented.
 
"Not really, the guy beat his wife and five year old son to death."
 
"And you didn't think it was important to tell me this?" Speed asked. "You are so sleeping in the garage tonight, Delko. Mac, Horatio has probably taken off for the beach. There's one he favors, even if he won't admit to it. I'm going to come pick you up and we'll find him."
 
"How badly do you think he's hurting right now?" Mac asked.
 
"Bad," Speed replied. "With the wounds he's hidden for so many years open again, this might be enough to make him do something drastic. Delko, you are so dead when I get back."
********************
 
Mac was waiting on the sidewalk when Speed pulled up in one of the department Hummers. "I would've brought my bike, but I thought this would be faster," Speed said. "I don't know how this one got past me, Mac. I really don't."
 
"It's not your fault and don't be too hard on Eric," Mac replied. "Horatio's had a lot of old nightmares and wounds opened recently and he's going to react to things differently that he has been in the past."
 
"I know, that doesn't mean I have to like it," Speed said.
 
"Speed, I'm going to stay in Horatio's guest room tonight," Mac said. "I don't care if he likes the idea or not, he's going to be having bad nightmares and I want to be there to wake him up."
 
Speed sighed. "You're right, I don't like it but you're right," he said. "Normally I'd be the one to stay with him after a case like this. But I think you're the best one to do it this time. I really do."
 
"I'm not going to do anything," Mac said. "Except maybe hold him if he starts crying or needs some physical comfort, like a hug."
 
"What if he wants more?" Speed asked. "He's learned about sex now. It's possible that he knows it's a good way to forget certain things."
 
"Tim, he probably wouldn't want anyone knowing this, but he's still a virgin, technically," Mac said, flushing a little red. "I've never been able to get more than one finger into his body; Horatio's nerves are still too tense for that. And I'm certainly not going to attempt to penetrate him when he's recovering from a child abuse/murder case because that's now what he needs."
 
"Good," Speed said. "He's already hurting enough; I don't think he needs the physical ache added to it. Not to mention I think he'll want a couple of days off if, when you guys do get that far. Horatio doesn't want the lab to know about his personal life if he can avoid it."
 
"I thought your whole team knew about this situation already," Mac said. He sighed in relief when he caught sight of another Hummer.
 
"They do, but we don't gossip," Speed said. "The lab techs do and they're the ones we really want to keep out of his life."
 
"As I said before, I really wish my team was as dedicated to me as you all are to Horatio," Mac said.
 
"Oh yeah, about that; Danny called and said that Stella said to tell you that if you mess up again, don't bother coming home," Speed said.
 
Mac turned around and looked at Speed over the top of his sunglasses. "I already told you, Speed," he said. "I'll kill myself if I hurt Horatio again. I'll call you when I have him home. Don't be too hard on Eric."
 
"I'll try," Speed said. "But there are days he likes things a little hard."
 
"More than I wanted or needed to know," Mac smiled. He shut the Hummer door and looked out towards the beach. It was fairly deserted with a pier extending out into the water. Off to the right, sitting on the sand was Horatio. He was still in his suit, but he had his shoes off and it looked like he had his feet buried in the sand. His knees were up with his arms braced on his knees, chin on his arms looking out at the water. Mac sighed softly and made his way as quietly as he could through the sand and sat down next to his lover.
 
He took his shoes and socks off, put them to the side and mirrored Horatio's posture almost perfectly, not speaking. Mac wanted Horatio to know that he was there to offer him both silent and, eventually, verbal support.
 
"What are you doing here, Mac?" Horatio eventually asked quietly.
 
"Sitting next to someone I love," Mac replied just as softly.
 
"I came here because I wanted to be alone," Horatio said.
 
"There are times when you shouldn't be alone," Mac said, not looking over at his lover. "I'm happy to sit here as long as you want to, H. And we can do it in silence too, but I'm not going to leave you alone. Delko told me what happened."
 
Horatio took off his sunglasses and rested his forehead on his folded arms. "I could see myself in him, Mac," he said. "And my father in the suspect. I wanted to shoot him in the interrogation room, which is why I sent Eric in to do the final interview. I didn't trust myself. Is it going to get so bad that I can't do my job any more?"
 
"No," Mac said. "Because I know that you were close by even though it was Eric doing the interrogation. And you would have stepped in the moment he needed you, no matter how much it hurt you personally. You take care of you people and help the victim far more than your duties require, Horatio. You know that."
 
"I should have been strong enough to face him," Horatio said.
 
"We all have demons, Horatio," Mac said. He shifted closer and let his shoulder and arm press in against his lover's. "I can't interview men who have killed Marines because they've attacked a brother of mine. Danny can't interview child rapists. I learned that one the hard way when he almost threw the suspect through the window into the viewing room. It doesn't mean you're weak and that's why we have a team rather than working all alone, so we can play off of each other's strengths and support each other when they feel they're not right for a job."
 
"A supervisor has to be able to do everything," Horatio insisted.
 
Mac bit back a sigh. He'd forgotten exactly how stubborn his lover could be at times. It had to be the red hair. "A supervisor has to use their best tools to get the job done correctly," he said. Mac shifted around a little and ended up with his arm around Horatio's waist; hand resting in the sand next to Horatio's right hip.
 
"I don't want to be touched right now," Horatio said twisting away.
 
"Horatio," Mac sighed. "Hiding isn't going to make this any better or any easier."
 
"I'm not hiding and I'm not sulking," Horatio said as he stood up suddenly.
 
"No one said anything about sulking," Mac said. He grabbed Horatio's hand and pulled his lover back down to the sand before he could stalk off down the beach. "And you're not going to stalk off on me, Horatio. Come on, I know you love the beach, but let's go back to your house and sit out on your deck. It's less public and you can yell at me all you want there. How does that sound?"
 
"Why would I yell at you?" Horatio asked, puzzled.
 
"You need to yell at someone," Mac replied. "And I won't take it personally. Come on, Horatio. Are you okay to drive or do you need me to do it?"
 
"I'm fine, I always am," Horatio said.
 
Mac raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. But he picked up his shoes and socks and followed Horatio back to the parking lot and the Hummer.
********************
 
When they got back to Horatio's house, Mac followed his lover inside and then stood in the living room and just watched as Horatio vanished into the back of the house. He sighed when he heard the water running and sank down on the sofa. Mac really needed to know exactly what Horatio's father had done to him as a kid and they needed to get the festering poison of the abuse out so Horatio could start healing from it. He just wasn't sure the best way to go about it. Mac didn't even think about calling Stella or Danny and asking to get copies of the police reports because he still remembered Horatio's reaction to the thought that Mac was digging into his personal life.
 
Mac wondered if maybe he should suggest, or insist, that Horatio see a professional to talk about his childhood and the abuse he suffered at his father's hand. He remembered that Horatio's nightmares about Hank had stopped after they had talked about the firefighter and Mac's hope at the time had been that by talking through his past, he could help Horatio move past everything and heal. But now he was really wondering if he'd be able to help Horatio enough. If he was strong enough to hold them both up through the process, take the burden of keeping their relationship from foundering under the stress of a ghost from Horatio's past – a serious problem that needed to be dealt with – and still be able to show Horatio the love and tenderness he needed through it all.
 
He ran his hands through his hair and glanced at his watch. Horatio had been in the shower an awfully long time and while Mac didn't want to violate his lover's privacy, he needed to make sure that Horatio was okay. So he pushed up off the sofa and made his way into the back of the house. The door to the bathroom was shut so Mac tapped on it before nudging it open. "Horatio?"
 
"Go away," Horatio said, his voice smaller and sadder than Mac could ever remember hearing it before.
 
"Not this time," Mac said. He reached in and turned off the water before pulling the shower curtain back. Horatio was sitting on the floor of the shower, his arms wrapped back around his legs and his head down. "Come on, H. Let's get you out and dried off."
 
"I don't want to fall asleep," Horatio muttered as he let Mac help him to his feet.
 
"What if I'm there with you?" Mac asked. He wrapped a towel around Horatio's waist and grabbed another to start drying the other man off with. "Just to hold you through the nightmares. I'll keep watch for a while, Horatio. I'll keep you safe."
 
"Thank you," Horatio whispered.

***

Mac got Horatio dried off and into bed, although it took some convincing to get him into an old pair of sweatpants to sleep in. Mac knew that Horatio normally slept in his boxers, but thought the comfort from the sweats would help him sleep a little easier. "Do you want some warm milk or hot chocolate, Horatio?" he asked tucking his lover in. "Is there anything I can get you?"

"No, I just don't want to be alone right now," Horatio replied. "Tim's letting you stay?"

"He trusts me not to try anything," Mac said. He started to get undressed. "Do you?"

"Mac, how...."

"Don't even, Horatio Caine, you know exactly how I can ask that question," Mac said. "You're hurting badly right now and I know that so many nightmares from your past have come back to you, but I need to know that you're comfortable having me in the bed with you. If you're not, then I'll go get an extra blanket and a chair to sit with you tonight. I'm not going to leave you alone, but I need to know that you're okay with having me in here with you."

Horatio sighed. "I'm sorry, Mac," he said.

"Sorry for what, Horatio?" Mac sat down on the edge of the bed and caught Horatio's hand with his own.

"For being such a mess," Horatio said.

"You're not a mess, Horatio," Mac said. "No, listen to me for a minute, H. How many children have you helped who have been raised in abusive homes? A dozen, two dozen, more? You make sure that they don't have to deal with the lingering questions brought on by the abuse because you know what they've lived through and you know how to help them improve. Did you have anyone do that for you?"

"No. Not until you came into my life."

"I'm doing everything I can to help you, Horatio," Mac said. "I love you so much that I want to be with you for the rest of our lives. Every single part of you is wonderful to me, and the only thing I would change is how your father treated you. No one deserves to have a childhood like you did."

Horatio looked at their hands. "I've tried to talk to professionals about this, Mac," he said softly. "I had to initially, the court ordered me to. It didn't help because they didn't understand what I'd lived through. It's hard enough to talk about being abused, but I could always see pity in their eyes. Pity and no understanding." He looked up. "I've never seen that in your eyes, Mac."

"Oh, H," Mac said. "I have never pitied you and if the doctors you were talking to did then they need to go back and relearn how to handle patients because that's something they shouldn't be showing during a therapy session. It's unprofessional. What about talking with Tim and Alexx? Does that help?"

"A little, but even Tim doesn't know everything," Horatio said. "Mac, could I have a hug, please?"

"Sure, come here." Mac moved up so his back was against the headboard and pulled Horatio in tight. "I love you, Horatio Caine. I think a weaker man would have broken by now. You've been able to keep going. So strong, H. So very strong."

"Strong men don't break down crying in their showers," Horatio said.

"Of course they do," Mac said softly. "They break down behind closed doors because they're strong enough to face anything in public no matter how much they're screaming in public. They put themselves back together in private and if that means crying or having a breakdown, then that's what they do. The strongest men are the ones who admit they can be weak and ask for help, Horatio."

"Really?" Horatio asked.

Mac had a feeling that Horatio was remembering something his father had likely yelled at him at some point and less common sense or what Horatio himself believed, but he wasn't going to call his lover on it. Not when he was already feeling so fragile from the day he'd faced. "Really," he said. "I know you said you didn't want to fall asleep, Horatio. Do you want to just talk for a bit? I promised Tim I'd let him know when we got home."

"Was he mad?" Horatio asked, looking up.

"At Eric, yeah, but I told him to take it easy because you're going through a lot of things right now," Mac said.

"That's what I would have told him too," Horatio said. "You'd better let him know we're home or he'll come over and check on me."

"He wanted to," Mac said. He stretched out and caught Horatio's cell phone from the bedside table. "He said that normally he'd be here, and if you want him to be, then I'll tell him and you know he'll come over."

"No, he needs to be with Eric," Horatio said. "You feel safer than he does, Mac."

Mac grinned. "I'm not telling him that."

"I wouldn't either," Horatio murmured. When Mac looked down, he saw that Horatio had fallen asleep. He flipped open the phone and sent Speed a text message rather than calling because he didn't want to risk waking his lover up. Mac knew that they were in for a long, rough night.

***

"You look like hell," Speed said when Mac opened the front door the next morning.

Mac snorted and stepped back to let the younger man into the house. "They warned me you were sarcastic, Tim, but they never said anything about you being blunt," he said.

"I don't think sugar coating helps anything," Speed said. "Where's Horatio?"

"On the beach watching the ocean," Mac sighed. "I think he slept maybe an hour last night with all the nightmares and trying to get him to go back to sleep after I got him calmed back down again."

"So you didn't even get that, did you?" Speed asked. "Go take a nap and I'll sit with Horatio for a couple of hours. We'll wake you up for lunch."

"Thanks, Tim," Mac said.

"Least I could do," Speed said. He went out onto the deck and down onto the beach. "Hey."

"Tim."

"I'm sorry about yesterday, H, it got by me somehow," Speed said, sitting down next to his friend. "Without Alexx giving me a heads-up, I had no idea what sort of case you and Delko pulled, and he didn't think he needed to tell me about it."

Horatio glanced over. "You had your own case, Tim."

"Yeah, and I still could have taken fifteen minutes to come stand in the observation room with you while Delko was doing the final interview," Speed said. "Hell, I was waiting on a couple of tests, it wouldn't have hurt anything to have me there with you."

"I thought I could handle it," Horatio admitted. "I have in the past."

Speed snorted. "In the past you weren't baring your soul to your lover," he said. "H, talking about things will only help you move forward and I'm all for it, but you've got to be willing to give us a heads-up when there could be a problem. Don't feel like you have to handle anything. Would you let me walk into an interview with a rape victim?"

"Of course not."

"So why should this be any different?"

"That's what Mac said."

"Y'know, I was all set to hate the guy, and then I met him, and he's great," Speed said. "He's smart and he has good instincts and he loves you. Mac's pretty much what I would have picked for you, H, if I'd been trying to fix you up with someone. Yeah, he slipped, but he's making up for it and that's more than most people would do."

Horatio rested his head on his arms. "I'm not as confused as I was, Tim," he said. "Having Mac with me last night, nothing that happened drove him away. Not even when I accidentally hit him in the nose during a nightmare. He was right there every time and I feel horrible because I don't think he slept at all."

"I sent him for a nap before I came out here," Speed said. "Horatio, Mac and I both love you and we'll do anything for you. Yeah, the type of love is different, but we both love you. We're here to help you however we can, and Mac knew what he was facing last night. There wasn't anywhere else he wanted to be but next to you to help you battle through the nightmares."

"That's what's killed the confusion," Horatio said. "I don't know about trusting him if he moves back up to New York, that might take longer to work back to, but I think I'm ready to go forward with him again."

"You aren't going to throw sex into the mix this soon, are you?" Speed asked, trying to sound stern.

Horatio choked. Speed sighed and started laughing. "Sorry, H, I shouldn't have just thrown that at you," he said, patting Horatio on the back. "It's a fair question though."

"I don't think Mac would let me," Horatio managed, trying to catch his breath. "He's really asleep?"

"Probably dead to the world. I told him we'd wake him for lunch," Speed said. "Don't even think it, H. You're totally worth every minute of it and none of us would change a thing about you. Well, unless it was possible to go back in time and save you from your bastard of a father."

"Sort of what Mac said too," Horatio said, glancing over at Speed.

Speed beat his head against his folded arms. "He's going to end up one of my best friends at this rate," he muttered. "Come on, you, kitchen. We can make something for lunch that'll take a few hours to cook. Mac needs to get caught up on his sleep because I have a feeling you are going to turn into a handful."

"Tim, thanks for being here," Horatio said. "How's Eric?"

"He slept in the garage last night," Speed said. He stood and pulled Horatio to his feet. "I'm thinking about buying a dog house for nights like these."

"Tim, you are very weird," Horatio said with a smile.

"Yeah, I know," Speed replied. "Eric knew what he was getting into with me. I'll forgive him when I go home and he'll make it up to me. Come on, food is calling our names. Lets go destroy the kitchen again."

***

Mac woke up when the smell of lunch reached back into the bedroom. He stretched and debated trying to go back to sleep, knowing that he was facing another long night with Horatio, but figured that eating was probably the better option. He detoured into the bathroom to splash some water on his face and then headed out into the kitchen. "Are we expecting company?" he asked, looking at the food on the counters.

"Nah, most of this is to freeze," Speed replied. "I worry about Horatio eating when I can't keep an eye on him, and there's not much he enjoys cooking for himself, so I thought I'd go ahead and make up a few things as long as I was here. Horatio Caine, get away from those cookies."

"One cookie will not stop me eating my lunch, Tim," Horatio said, but he moved away with a sigh. "Mac, were you able to sleep?"

"Yep. I'm good at napping," Mac said. "You get a lot of practice in the military. So, what can I help with?"

Speed pointed at three plates. "You and Horatio can carry those and drinks out onto the back deck," he said. "I'm going to finish up this roast and put it into bake and then I'll join you."

Horatio pulled down a tray and put the drinks and forks on it, along with one plate. "Can you get those, Mac?" he asked.

"Yep, right behind you," Mac said. He followed Horatio out onto the back deck and the table with the umbrella already open. "How are you feeling, Horatio?"

"Less like I'm going to fly apart and more like I'm going to cry," Horatio said softly, "if that even makes sense."

"Of course it does." Mac put his things down and went over, wrapping Horatio in a hug. "You are allowed to have emotions all over the place for as long as you need to. No one ever said that talking about events you've kept buried for years would be easy, and it'll take time for you to feel more you. I'm here and I'm not leaving."

"Mac, what happens when you have to go back to work?" Horatio asked. "When we're in two different cities again."

"I told you, Horatio, that if this works out between us, I would move down here for good," Mac replied softly. "The only reason I put a time limit on it was because you weren't sure what you wanted from me and I didn't want to have no job to go back to if things didn't work out. Do you see what I'm saying?"

Horatio pulled back enough that he was able to look down into Mac's eyes. "You would really give up your lab, your city, to move down here with me?" he asked.

"In a heartbeat if you'll have me," Mac said.

Horatio teared up and buried his face against Mac's neck. "I think that's the nicest thing anyone has said to me," he muttered.

"I love you, Horatio, and I want to spend the rest of my life tell you that," Mac said, rubbing Horatio's back. He caught sight of Speed watching them from the kitchen and nodded, letting the other man know he could join them if they wanted. "I'd be happy to never leave your side again."

Speed slipped out quietly and sat down at the table. "Just when I'm determined to hate him," he sighed.

"You have every right to hate me, Tim," Mac started.

"Yeah, you're right, but you keep showing me that it's also wrong," Speed interrupted. "Horatio, your pasta is getting cold."

"You are the ultimate cynic, Tim Speedle," Horatio said. He pulled back and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "One of these days I will find something to put you in a good mood."

Speed snorted. "Never going to happen," he said. "Mac, if you did move down here, what would you do with yourself?"

Mac sat across from Speed, leaving Horatio to pick where he wanted to sit. "I don't know. Consult, work for the lab, or I could become a recruiter for the Corps," he said. "That would take more commitment from me than I might be willing to give right now though. I'd find something to keep me busy."

"Or someone?"

Horatio flushed red. "Tim!"

"It's a fair comment, Horatio," Speed said. "I'm not teasing you, I'm serious. That's something you have to consider if Mac moves down here."

"We'll take it one day at a time, Horatio," Mac said. "Don't feel pressured to make any choices now. You have all the time in the world to think about what you want. I'll be here to support you no matter what."

***

"Hey, come here for a minute," Mac said later that night when they were alone. He patted the sofa cushion next to him. "I think Tim brought up a point today that we need to talk about."

"Do we have to?" Horatio asked. He sat down next to his lover, his face already flushed a light pink.

"I just want you to know something, Horatio," Mac replied. "Tim's right that sex is part of a relationship, but he's thinking about a relationship between more experienced people. I don't care how long it takes for you to be comfortable in bed again, Horatio. The important thing to me right now is getting you through the crisis I've thrown you into."

Horatio leaned against Mac with a sigh. "I think we're both a fault, Mac," he said.

"No, not for this, Horatio. I was stupid, I made a choice without thinking about how it would impact anyone else and I hurt you," Mac said. "That's something I will never forgive myself for. You told me about your past, enough for me to know that you had a horrible time growing up and my cheating on you has brought so many bad things up in your mind. I know you're strong enough to get through this and I'm awed that you trust me enough to let me back by your side."

"It wasn't fair of Tim to just bring it up like that at the dinner table though," Horatio said. "I do want to get back to that point with you, Mac. I still want to feel everything you can teach me, but I'm scared. When I saw you in your apartment with Peyton, you were using some of the same things you had done with me and it made me question everything. I can't promise that I'm not going to be jumpy, Mac, but I'm trying so hard."

"I know you are, and I understand," Mac said. "I will happily spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you, Horatio. I suppose the point I was trying to make here is do not worry about sex and sexual contact right now. You get to bring it up when you're comfortable bringing it up. If that takes years, then I'm fine with that."

"It's not fair for me to make you go that long without sex, Mac," Horatio said.

Mac tilted Horatio's head up. "Hey, you do not get to fall into the mindset that if I'm not sleeping with you, I'm going to cheat on you," he said. "I know that's what I showed you, but I swear to you, Horatio Caine, I will shoot myself dead before I touch another person like that again. You, with these remarkable blue eyes and soft red hair, you are all I want in my life. I I have to be next to you every second of every day for you to trust me again, Horatio, then I will do that. We can do whatever it will take to get you to trust me again, understand?"

"I'm sorry I keep going in circles like this, Mac," Horatio said. "It's not really fair to you at all."

"The only thing not fair is what I did to you, Horatio. No one should ever be treated like that and it makes me sick that I did it to you." Mac sighed. "We're going to keep going back and forth on this for a while, love. We might even get to the point where we have to agree to disagree on things to be able to move forward. I still stand by my original thought though, and that is there is no pressure for you to sleep with me sexually. We can talk about it as much as you need to when you're feeling more you."

"I don't think I need you glued to me, Mac," Horatio said. "It'll make it hard to work. I would like to have you here when I come home though. I guess it didn't really register when you said it before, that you would be willing to move down here to be with me. No one has ever cared about me enough to do something like that."

"I love you, Horatio, and I will do whatever it takes to prove that," Mac said. "Whatever you need me to do, I'll do."

***

The pair had another rough night, but Horatio insisted on going to work the next day. He told Mac to stay at the house and make himself at home, that he'd go by Speed's place after work and get Mac's things. Mac wasn't happy, but didn't want to push Horatio, so he sent a text to Speed letting him know about the rough night, kissed Horatio good-bye, and went back to bed.

His phone woke him up just short of noon. "Taylor."

"Hey Mac, I didn't wake you, did I?"

"I think I was sort of awake, Danny, what's up?" Mac asked. He pushed up in bed and rubbed his eyes.

"Just wanted to let you know that Driscoll got back from whatever conference she was at, resigned and went back to England," Danny said. "I dunno what happened to her while she was gone, but I've never seen no one that pale before."

Mac snorted. "I think that Peyton might have run into the ME from Horatio's lab," he said. "Alexx Woods can put Stella to shame when it comes to mothering, Danny. Alexx has also threatened to castrate me with her rib cutters if I hurt Horatio again."

"Wow," Danny said, the wince visible in the words, "sounds like a woman you don't want to mess with."

"Exactly, and I told her that Peyton knew Horatio was in my apartment that night and used me to hurt him," Mac said.

"Revenge by proxy, Mac?" Danny asked with a grin.

"I had more important things to worry about than her," Mac replied. "It sounds like Alexx was able to find her at the conference. I'll have to remember to thank her next time I'm down there."

"So if you ain't at the lab, where are you?"

"Right now, at Horatio's house," Mac said. "He's at work and I'm enjoying the beach that's just off his deck."

"Everything going okay?" Danny said.

Mac shut the door behind him and sank into one of the deck loungers. "I think so, but it's hard to tell," he said. "We've had a couple of breakthroughs, but there's still so much to work through. It's definitely going to take six months, if not longer for me to fix all the problems I've caused."

"You still serious about moving down there for good?" Danny asked.

"I am, but Horatio is still healing and I won't know if he wants me to for a couple more months," Mac replied. "I know he wants to have me with him, but thinking about something and confronting the reality of it are two different things."

"You've got that right," Danny said. "All right, I'll let Stella know you're alive and healthy. I think she's been worried that Speed's killed you in the night and just not told anyone yet."

"Speed and I are working out our differences," Mac said. "I don't blame him for hating me. He was protecting Horatio and that's the most important thing for me. All I can do, Danny, is take things one day at a time."

"Yep. Okay, I gotta go, just got a slip," Danny said. "Talk to you later. You take care, yeah?"

"You too, Danny. Be safe in the field." Mac closed his phone and leaned back with a sigh.

"Danny?"

"Damn it, Horatio, how did you sneak up on me?" Mac asked, laughing. He sat up and turned to face his lover. "You're good."

Horatio smiled and took off his sunglasses. "Practice at the lab," he said. "How's Danny doing?"

"He's good. He called to tell me that Peyton has gone back to England rather abruptly, never to return," Mac said.

"That might explain why Alexx is in such a good mood today," Horatio said. He sat down next to Mac. "My team ran me off, saying things were slow enough that I should come home and show you around Miami. Is that something you'd like to do, Mac?"

"Sure, it sounds like fun," Mac said. "Let me get dressed though. I don't think anyone else would appreciate my ratty Marine sweats."

"I'll be waiting," Horatio said with a smile.

***

"Is there anything specific you wanted to talk about, Horatio, or are we just enjoying the afternoon?" Mac asked, eyes taking in the city. He was good at mental mapping and he wanted to be able to get around Miami quickly if he had to for any reason.

"I have so many bad memories that I've locked away, Mac, I don't know if we could talk about them if we took the rest of our lives," Horatio replied. "There is something I've hinted at, but haven't known how to bring up. I guess I hoped if I dropped enough hints someone would figure it out."

Mac reached over and squeezed Horatio's arm softly. "We just don't have all the pieces, H," he said. "You're the only one that does, but if you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to."

"I think this is where a lot of my trust issues ultimately stem from though," Horatio said. "You said you saw about Raymond in the newspapers."

"Which I shouldn't have been reading," Mac said. "I just wasn't sure how else to go about it, Horatio. I never pulled the old police reports, not even after I found out there were some."

"I have copies if you're curious about them," Horatio said. "My parents were both very dark in hair and eyes. My grandfather had blond hair and blue eyes, and so did a number of my uncles, but I'm the only one in the family with red hair. I'm still not sure, but I have my doubts about my true parentage. There's no one to ask, now, and no way to check, but I've long suspected that was one reason my father beat me as badly as he did. Mom too, but never Raymond. He looked just like our father, down to the nose once he grew up. Dad never once touched Raymond, not for anything. When my dog was killed, I think that Raymond left the trash out on purpose because it was his week to be doing it, and he knew that the dog liked to get in there and eat scraps. I just could never prove anything."

Mac held back a wince, wondering if the younger brother could have been responsible for some of Horatio's beating. "You think that Raymond spied on you, H?"

"I think he's ultimately the reason Hank died, Mac," Horatio said softly. He pulled into a parking lot and looked out at the ocean in front of them. "That night is burned into my memory, Mac, but the one thing I have never been able to work out is how my father figured out how much time I was spending down in Hank's apartment working on homework or just talking. Mom didn't care where I was as long as I could get home quickly when my father shouted for me for any reason. There was no one else in our building that would talk with my father for any reason. A fair number of them were scared of him. Rightly so, but there's no one else."

"What happened when your father died, Horatio?" Mac asked.

Horatio sighed. "Raymond quit talking to me for close onto two years," he said. "Then he suddenly turned up down here in Miami on the force. I hadn't known he was coming down here, that he was going to join the police department. Everyone thinks I blame myself for Raymond's death, Mac. The guilt I feel is at how relieved I am that he can't spy on me anymore."

"Come here," Mac said. He pulled Horatio into an awkward hug. "I've got you."

"Thank you," Horatio said softly.

"Do you want to go sit on the beach, H?" Mac asked. "We could go wading."

"You just want to see me wet," Horatio muttered against Mac's neck.

"Busted," Mac said with a soft smile. "Seriously, Horatio, I think it'd do you some good to walk on the beach a little bit."

Horatio pulled back and wiped his eyes. "Okay," he said. "We can't wade here though, the rocks are too sharp and slippery."

"It's still the ocean."

"That it is," Horatio said. He turned off the Hummer and slipped the keys into his pocket. "There's a little more to it, Mac. Raymond married another detective and they had a son. You wouldn't believe how closely I watched over that little boy to be sure that there were never any unexplained bruises or injuries."

"Were there?"

"No." Horatio took the offered hand and they started down the beach away from the rocks, walking slowly. "No, Raymond might have inherited our father's temper, but he never struck his family. Ray, the son, has been having problems at school since his father died, but there's only so much I can do."

"He's lucky to have you in his life in any way, Horatio," Mac said. He flinched when a rock hit his shoulder. "H."

"Yeah." Horatio and Mac turned around and found a group of young teens, boys and girls, each holding rocks. "Can we help you?" Horatio asked.

"You're disgusting," one of the girls yelled, throwing a rock at Horatio's head.

He ducked it easily and shifted his weight, pushing his jacket back enough that his badge was visible. "You do not want to do that again," Horatio said softly. "Put the rocks down now and I'll only be speaking with your parents about this."

Mac had pulled out his cell phone and was taking pictures of the group when a rock hit his hand. "I think, Horatio, that we might have to make some arrests here," he said, starting towards the group. "You go right, I'll go left."

"That sounds like a very good idea," Horatio said.

The group of kids tried to break and scatter, but Horatio and Mac were faster and caught six of the ten that had been facing them. For some reason he wouldn't explain, Horatio had zip ties in his jacket pocket and they were able to use those to secure the kids to each other while they waited for back-up. Mac had just finished putting the last tie in place when he caught the look on Horatio's face.

Horatio sighed. "I'm very disappointed in you, Raymond Caine Jr," he said softly. "I thought your mother taught you better than this."

"I'm sorry, Uncle Horatio," the young man, Ray, said.

"You threw a rock at someone very important to me, Ray," Horatio said. "That is assault and it will go on your record. There's nothing I can do to change that now."

"Your nephew?" Mac asked.

"My nephew who will soon be doing a fair amount of community service if I have anything to say about it," Horatio replied. "It seems to me that he has far too much free time on his hands right now."

***

"Here's an ice pack, Mac," Horatio said softly. "Do we need to go and get your hand x-rayed?"

"I don't think so, but I'll let you know," Mac said. He put the ice pack on his hand and hissed. "I've lived through bomb blasts and didn't hurt this much. Have the parents started showing up?"

Horatio sat down next to his lover with a sigh. "They have and the kids are denying any wrong-doing," he said. "I've spoken with the district attorney because every one of the kids, except Ray, have previous arrests for vandalism and minor assault, and he's willing to talk with the court about community service, but doesn't think we'll be able to go to trial because there are no witnesses."

"There's one, but he's not going to go against his friends, no matter what," Mac said.

"Exactly." Horatio looked over. "That's my sister-in-law, Yelina. Hang on. Yelina."

"Ray has something to say to you both, Horatio," Yelina said.

Ray looked down at his feet. "I'm sorry for throwing the rock at you, Detective Taylor," he said. "It was wrong and I shouldn't have done it."

"Why did you, Ray?" Mac asked. "If you knew it was wrong, why did you do it?"

"Because I wanted to fit in," Ray replied.

"Horatio, I'm backing the charges going onto Ray's record because he was trying to get involved in a gang and I'm shocked he would do something like that," Yelina said. "I'm going to cut back my hours at work so I can keep an eye on him, but was wondering if you could help out on weekends when you're not working."

"Of course, and I'll be happy to do it," Horatio said. "Ray, you should know that I'm very disappointed in you. Your mother raised you better than this and you should know that violence is not an answer for anything, especially for belonging in a group. How did you not know it was me before the first rock was thrown?"

Ray didn't look up. "I had a feeling it was you, but no one would listen to me," he said. "I'm sorry for causing so much trouble, Uncle Horatio."

"I think you'll be more sorry once you find out how much community service you're going to be receiving for this, Ray," Horatio said. "You were involved in an assault on two police officers. That one of them is out of his jurisdiction doesn't matter in this case, because Mac isn't working. He is a policeman and he is a Marine. Do you know what that means?"

"Yes, Sir. It means that Detective Taylor has served in the military to help keep our country safe," Ray said.

"Exactly. He was at a post when it was bombed by the enemy, Ray," Horatio said. "He almost died that day. He is a decorated veteran and you threw a rock at him. How are you better than those that attack the weak, Ray?"

"I'm not," Ray said.

Horatio nodded. "All right, as long as you understand that you are in serious trouble here, I think that Mac has something to say to you."

"Ray, I accept your apology," Mac said. "It takes courage to admit that you are in the wrong and face the victims of what you did. Take this as a lesson, Ray, and stay away from kids that want to use violence. They're not good influences, and they're certainly not good friends."

"Yes, Sir. Thank you," Ray said.

"Go wait at my desk," Yelina said. She sat down next to Horatio with a sigh. "There are days when I think he's too much like his father, Horatio. Mac, this isn't the introduction I would have picked for us. It's a pleasure to meet you, and welcome to the family." She smiled at their obvious shock. "Ray told me you were holding hands on the beach, that's why they decided to attack you. I'll talk with him tonight. Ray might be willing to talk with the judge and implicate the others that were with him."

"Don't push too hard," Horatio said. "We managed to keep him out of the gang this time, Yelina, but there's always next time."

"Tell me about it," she sighed. "He's grounded for the next few months, so that will let me keep an eye on him. Thanks for the help, and I hope your hand is better soon, Mac. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help you out."

"Thank you, Yelina," Mac said with a small smile.

She nodded. "All right, I'm going to take him home and I think he's going to be trimming the hedges tonight," Yelina said. "I'll talk to you both later."

Mac looked over at Horatio when they were alone again. "That really wasn't what I was expecting to have happen."

"Me neither," Horatio admitted. "Come on, let's get the final paperwork done and head home. I just want to sleep for a bit."

***

Next part of First Time.