Previous part of First Time.
***
"Do you want to talk about it?" Mac asked once the pair was back at Horatio's house. Horatio had showered and was curled up under the blankets. Mac was lying next to him on top of the covers. "There's something bothering you, H. I can tell."
Horatio smiled. "I didn't think it was that obvious," he said. "Yelina's comment about Ray being too much like his father. How do I tell her that she's wrong?"
"I don't know," Mac said. "Do you see much of your brother in Ray?"
"Not really, but that's not a surprise given how young Ray was when Raymond died," Horatio said. He moved over and sighed. "Would you join me under here, Mac? I want to cuddle."
"Sure," Mac said softly. It took a bit of untangling, Horatio had tried to nest, but he was finally able to slip under the blankets with his lover and wrapped the red head in a hug. "That okay?"
"Yeah," Horatio sighed, resting his head on Mac's chest. "I realized something today, Mac. Watching you on the beach, I finally understood what you and Tim have been trying to tell me. Strength isn't always about being stubborn."
Mac chuckled. "I know it's hard, Horatio," he said. "Sometimes stepping back and letting others take charge for anything is the hardest thing you can do, but think about how it is when you turn a new CSI loose on their first case. You're there to help, but you're letting them take charge for the first time."
"I'm not sure how I managed to lose track of that," Horatio admitted. "I think I was trying to prove something to myself, Mac, and I only ended up hurting myself worse. Thanks for being so patient with me while I worked things out."
"It's my pleasure," Mac said. "I love you so much, Horatio Caine. I'm honored you're letting me see so much of you."
Horatio shifted so he could meet Mac's eyes. "I want forever, Mac," he said. "I know I still have a long way to go, a lot of past that I buried away to try to forget about it, but I'd like to have you there with me."
"Is it sad that my first response is wondering what your team is going to say?" Mac asked.
"Given what they've said to you, no," Horatio replied. "Do I take that as a yes, Detective?"
"Of course it's a yes," Mac said with a fond smile. "We just need to work out what I'm going to do for work down here. Stella and Danny will be able to run the New York lab without trouble. I don't even have to go back up, just call and they'll have my things packed up and sent down if you're sure about this, Horatio. It's only been a few weeks."
"A few weeks when I've been happier than I can remember being," Horatio said. "Mac, I don't know when I'll be ready for more from you, no matter how much Tim teases, but I want to know that I've got you to come home to. I think that, more than anything, will help me heal."
Mac pressed a kiss to the top of Horatio's head. "I'll give Danny a call in the morning," he said. "I think, Horatio, that we need to think about dinner before we go to sleep for the night. You know that Tim would have a few choice things to say if we skip a meal."
"Yes he would," Horatio chuckled. "I'm also wondering how we got here from talking about Ray Jr."
"You know what I think, H?"
"What?"
"Telling me about your fears surrounding your brother released something that was knotted down deep inside of you," Mac said. "Being able to confide your deepest fear, the one that so many others stemmed from, has let you feel safer than you have in years."
"That makes sense," Horatio said, resting his head back on Mac's chest. "I still have a lot to tell you about."
Mac smiled fondly. "I'll be right here whenever you need to talk, Horatio," he said.***
Mac had just put the phone down after arranging with Danny to have his apartment packed up and shipped to Miami when he heard a dry voice behind him. "One more talk, Mac?"
"I don't know if my heart can take it," Mac said. "Come sit down, Tim. I guess Horatio told you what's happening."
Speed sat down in the other deck chair with a sigh. "Everything. I don't know how the hell I missed his concerns about his brother, but I did," he said. "Mac, I've never seen Horatio look like this before and I don't know what to make of it."
"He looks happier, doesn't he?" Mac asked with a fond smile. "I think that being able to tell people about Raymond, about the fears and problems linked to him, has helped Horatio heal more than anything else could. He told me last night that he knows he still has a long way to go, Tim, but he slept through the night with only one nightmare. That's better than he's done in how long?"
"Quite a while that I know of," Speed said. "So you're moving down here?"
"Yeah, I just finished making the arrangements so I don't have to go back up to New York. Honestly, I don't want to leave Horatio alone right now, not when he's still feeling raw inside," Mac said. "I think he's healing though, Tim, I really do."
"I heard about Ray yesterday. How's your hand doing?"
"Bruised, but the swelling went down so if there's a break in there, it's not full," Mac replied. "I've had worse in my time."
Speed snorted. "I can only imagine," he said. "What are you going to do now, Mac?"
"I've gotten in touch with the Corps and asked about either recruiting or teaching positions available here in Miami," Mac said. "I love working in the lab, but there's not a place for me right now and I don't want to push anyone out of a job. I'll be recruiting full time for them, both at the station and up on campus. It'll allow me to be home when Horatio gets here at night."
"They aren't going to try and send you back over into one of the war zones, are they?" Speed asked.
"No, I'm too battered for that, even as a commander," Mac replied. "Time for me to ride a desk. It does free up the officers they've had working those two stations for other postings though, so that made everyone happy."
"How does Horatio feel about all of this?"
"He knows how I feel about my time in service and the Corps," Mac said. "I think he'd like to have me at the lab, but this way we don't have to worry about anyone thinking I got a job because I'm dating the head of the lab."
"Makes good sense," Speed said. "I'll be honest, Mac, I never thought we'd get to this place. I was set to hate you for the rest of my life, but you're good for Horatio. I don't think he's had a lot of people in his life that made him a promise and then worked so hard to keep it. I'm still going to be keeping an eye on him, but I'm not as worried now."
Mac's lips twitched. "When Horatio asked me to move down here, my first thought wasn't about spending my life with him, it was wondering what you all would think about it," he said. "Horatio agreed with me that it was probably going to be an interesting reaction. I'm curious, does he know you're here?"
"Nope, I took lunch," Speed said. "I just wanted to be sure we were on the same page still."
"We're helping Horatio heal, Tim. That's not a page I'm ever going to be off of."
"Me neither," Speed said.***
Mac was in the middle of cooking dinner when the doorbell rang. He grabbed a towel and went to see who it was because he wasn't expecting company and Horatio's team tended to just walk in. "Ray?"
"Hi Detective Taylor, I was wondering if I could maybe talk to Uncle Horatio," Ray said.
"He's still at work, Ray, but come on in," Mac said. "You can hang out until he gets home. Does your mom know where you are?"
"I kinda ran away," Ray said.
"Okay, we can work through this," Mac said, trying not to sigh. He locked the door behind Ray and headed back towards the kitchen. "You hungry, Ray?"
"No, Sir."
"All right, grab something to drink if you want," Mac said. "I'm going to call Horatio and let him know you're here and get him to tell your mom, okay?"
Ray nodded. He sat down at the kitchen table and put his head down on his arms, asleep before Mac had his phone out. Mac frowned and went out onto the back deck to call his lover. "Hey, it's me. I've got Ray here and he just about passed out he's so tired," he said. "Could you let Yelina know he's safe and not in trouble? I don't want her to worry."
"Is Ray okay?" Horatio asked.
"I don't see any marks on him," Mac replied. "I think he just didn't get a lot of sleep last night."
"All right, I'll talk to Yelina and then I'll be home," Horatio said. "Can I bring anything for supper?"
"No, but we don't have dessert," Mac said. "I hadn't planned on having Ray here, but there's plenty of food."
"I'll pick up some of his favorite ice cream," Horatio said. "See you in a bit, Mac."
"Love you," Mac said. He tucked his phone in his pocket and went back inside. "Hey Ray," he said, shaking the young man's shoulder gently, "come on, let's get you into the guest room. It'll be better for you to sleep in there."
"Okay," Ray said, barely waking up.
Mac helped him down the hall and into the guest room. Ray flopped down onto the bed and was back asleep before Mac had him covered in a light blanket. With a small sigh, Mac took off Ray's sneakers, set them down by the bed and left, shutting the door quietly behind him. He had a feeling he knew what had happened, but didn't want to make assumptions before Ray was able to tell them the truth. Mac went back to dinner, setting the table while things were cooking.
"Hey."
"Welcome home," Mac said, kissing Horatio softly. "Ray's asleep in the guest room. I think, Horatio, that maybe Yelina is going a little over the top in trying to punish Ray."
"She's going to pick him up tomorrow," Horatio said. "We'll wake him up for dinner and talk then. I've never worried about Yelina abusing Ray, Mac. Should I have?"
"No, not unless you think that something has changed," Mac said. "Dinner is about ready, H, if you want to go get Ray. Honestly, I think he needs a good meal, a good night's sleep and a strong father figure, in about that order."
Horatio smiled. "We can do that," he said.
Mac started to serve up dinner, taking the filled plates to the table as they were ready, pulled out the salad he'd made and put out water for all three of them. He respected Horatio's no alcohol rule and thought that they could have pop if water wasn't enough. "Hey Ray, hungry?"
"Not really, Sir," Ray said, sitting down. "I really just want to sleep."
"Ray, how much sleep did you get last night?" Horatio asked softly, sitting down next to his nephew.
"Couple of hours," Ray replied with a yawn. "Mom had me working the rest of the time. She said something about this being how Dad was punished growing up and she was taking a page out of his book."
Horatio glanced at Mac, eyes haunted. Mac knew exactly what that sentence did to his fragile lover and wanted to go kick Yelina for hurting Horatio. "Ray, your father was never punished growing up," Horatio said softly. "I was, and yes, my father did this to me many times, but never to your father. Depriving a growing boy of the sleep he needs is not punishment, it's abusive behavior, and I will speak with your mother about this, okay?"
"Dad was never punished, Uncle Horatio?" Ray asked. "I thought all kids got in trouble."
"My father was selective in his punishments, Ray. He was an abuser with favorite targets, and your father wasn't one," Horatio replied. "Everyone makes mistakes, Ray. Don't ever think that your father was perfect, because he wasn't, but he did love you and that's what matters."
"I didn't know Grandpa Caine was abusive," Ray said.
"I had hoped never to tell you that," Horatio admitted. "Mac, is there a diet coke in the fridge?"
Mac nodded. "Ray, would you like an orange soda?" he asked. "We have some here with your name on them."
"Sure, thank you," Ray said. "Uncle Horatio, I don't understand any of this."
"I know you don't, Ray, I know you don't," Horatio said. "You made a mistake in trying to join the gang. Yes, you need to be punished for hurting both Mac and me, but you do not need to be treated like this. Let me speak with your mother and I'll make sure that she understands things a little better, okay?"
"Thanks, Uncle Horatio," Ray said softly.
Horatio pulled him into a hug. "You did good to come to me, Ray, rather than just running," he said. "You will always have a place here. Don't ever feel like you have to hide from me, okay?"
"Yeah," Ray said.***
"Want to talk about it?" Mac asked once they were in bed. Ray had passed out again after dinner and showed no signs of waking up any time soon.
"Not really," Horatio replied. "This was just one of many creative abuses my father had when I was growing up, Mac. I don't even know how Raymond knew about it because it was never once used on him."
Mac held his arms open and Horatio burrowed in against him. "My guess, Horatio, is that Raymond was spying on you," he said softly. "Just like you always believed, but couldn't prove. It's even possible your father used him to punish you more."
"I know I have to talk with Yelina tomorrow, but I'm really not looking forward to it," Horatio admitted. "On top of everything else, it feels like this is never going to end."
"Do you want me with you tomorrow?" Mac asked.
"So much, but Ray is going to need someone with him," Horatio replied. "I don't want him to overhear what I'm telling his mother. He doesn't need to know the truth about his father or grandfather. No more than I told him tonight, at least not until he's older."
"We can keep an eye on him," Mac said, rubbing Horatio's back. "To be sure that he's not showing signs of his father's temper. It won't be easy, but breaking this cycle of abuse can be done."
Horatio nodded. "It's one reason, among the many you already know, that I don't want children of my own," he said. "I look out for everyone, keep track of children I've helped over the years, but I'm scared Mac. I'm scared to try and raise a child of my own."
"That's understandable, Horatio, and no one blames you for anything," Mac said. "You have Ray and it seems like he looks up to you as a father figure. I wish he hadn't been involved with that gang, that there was another way for him to try and get attention from his mother, but we know the problem is there now. We can watch for it stemming up again."
"That's if Yelina lets me near Ray after tomorrow," Horatio said. "The teen years are hard enough without outside problems impacting them. Ever since Raymond died and the news stories broke, Ray has been teased and bullied at school. I spoke with him a few years ago now and reminded him that he is his own person and yes, it does hurt when people say bad things about your father, but Raymond's actions do not reflect on him."
"It has to be hard for him," Mac said. "I wonder if maybe Yelina would let me spend some time with him. I could take him to the recruitment center and show him that there are other goals to work towards, other places to belong."
"She won't want him near anything military," Horatio said. "Ray is going to be some sort of a businessman no matter what he wants. I don't agree with it, I think she's making a mistake, but she won't listen to me."
Mac sighed. "Ray should be allowed to choose what he wants to do with his life," he said. "My parents were never thrilled when I chose to join the service, but they knew it made me happy, so they accepted it. I think they were just sort of resigned when I went into the police department, but at least no one was dropping bombs on me."
"I didn't have anyone left to object," Horatio sighed. "I went for a way to help others as I was never helped, and I think I've managed to do some good in my life."
"You have done some wonderful things in your life, Horatio," Mac said, kissing the top of his head. "You came all the way to New York to find answers for a scared young lady. I don't know many police officers that would do something like that."
"What else could I have done?"
"Left it to us, but you didn't know us so you didn't know if we would give the case the same care and attention that you would," Mac said. "I'm never going to complain about that because it brought you to me, and that was the best day of my life, Horatio."
Horatio looked up at Mac. "What about your wedding to Claire?" he asked softly.
"Best day of my young life," Mac replied with a smile. "Never think I don't still love her, Horatio, but Claire and I had the same talk I think most partners do. She would come haunt me if I was still moping around New York mourning her openly. The only thing she wanted for me was to be happy, and if she couldn't be there to help me do it, then she wanted me to find the person that could. Honestly, I thought that she would be the one searching out a new partner because I was the one with the more dangerous job. Life is odd that way."
"I understand what you mean, Mac," Horatio said. "I don't know if I would be able to open up to anyone else like this."
"I'm not planning to go anywhere, so we're safe," Mac said. "Do you think you'll be able to sleep tonight, Horatio?"
"Probably not, but I'll try," Horatio said. "I'm sorry to be keeping you awake like this, Mac."
"Nowhere else I'd rather be, H," Mac said.***
"Horatio, where's Ray?" Yelina asked before she was even in the door the next morning.
"He's out for a walk with Mac," Horatio replied. "Come in, Yelina. I think we need to talk about a couple of things, including something that's very painful to me, but you need to know."
"Horatio, Ray ran away from home. That's not something I can ignore."
"He ran away because you weren't letting him sleep," Horatio said. He handed her a cup of coffee and sat down at the table. "He was here ten seconds last night before he fell asleep, Yelina. He said that you got the idea from Raymond."
She nodded. "He said it was something that you both were punished with growing up and I thought that if I could keep Ray sleepy then he wouldn't be able to go out and get into trouble again."
"Childhood punishments aside, what you did to him yesterday was not trying to keep him sleepy," Horatio said. "You kept him awake for all but two hours, Yelina, and I don't know anyone, doctor or police, that wouldn't qualify that as abuse to your child."
"You survived."
"There are days I don't know how. I don't know what Raymond told you about life growing up, Yelina, but any punishment he said was enforced on both of us was only used on me," Horatio said. "Perhaps on our mother as well, but I seemed to be the favorite target. I can't even count the number of times my mother had to take me to an emergency room to be treated because of something my father had done to me."
"Raymond never told me your father was abusive," Yelina said, sitting down. "Though it does explain a lot, Horatio, things I've noticed about you over the years, but you have to trust me to raise my son."
"He ran away from home yesterday, Yelina," Horatio said. "He came here in an attempt to hide, but what if he hadn't. What if he went back to the gang hideout and stayed there? We don't know its location, we don't know all the kids involved. You could have lost him forever yesterday because you're over-reacting. Ray needs to be punished, but in a way that is reasonable and logical. He told me yesterday that he doesn't understand any of this. That is not effective punishment. That is either abuse, or punishment for the fun of it, and neither of those is acceptable."
"I don't understand what's so hard to understand. He was arrested for assault and won't tell me anything else about any of the kids," Yelina said. "He won't testify against them either, so I set him to work at the house and told him he couldn't go to bed until everything was done."
Horatio sighed. "Ray needs to know that you understand he's sorry for what he's done," he said. "Because right now you're acting unreasonable and it's doing far more damage than good, Yelina. I know that Ray is not my son, but I've always thought of him as one, especially after Raymond died. I think that it's not unreasonable to allow Mac to set the punishment for home because he is the one that Ray hurt the worst."
"Mac won't be there to enforce it," Yelina said.
"Ray is an honorable young man. He wouldn't lie about doing something if he hasn't," Horatio said softly. "Yelina, right now, you are very close to losing your son forever, and I don't want that to happen. You know how hard the teen years are for everyone. If you make it this much harder for Ray now, if you start to treat him as if he can't be trusted, then he will go looking for someone who will treat him with love, and that might well be a gang. Ask yourself if it's worth the risk."
"Of course it's not. Ray's all I have left," Yelina sighed. "All right, we'll try it your way, but if Ray lies about anything we go back to my way."
"That's fair," Horatio said. He looked up. "That's the door. Mac, is that you?"
"Yeah, are you guys to a point we can come in, or do we need to do some other stuff for a bit?" Mac asked.
"Come on in, guys," Horatio said. "Hey Ray, how was your walk?"
"Good. Hi, Mom."
"Hi, Ray. You scared me yesterday, but I'm glad you came here," she said. "Your uncle and I have been talking about your punishments for what you've done and he wants to talk to you about it, too."
"Sit down, Ray," Horatio said. "We've agreed that your mother acted out of fear and was extreme in punishment yesterday. Mac is going to detail out your punishment for home and you're going to be on an honor code to complete everything. If any of us find out you're lying, or you aren't doing something you're supposed to be, then your mother's system will go back in place. Does that sound fair to you?"
"What if I don't have enough time in the day to get something done?" Ray asked. "I have a lot of homework that I need to keep up with."
Mac sat down at the table with them. "How about this, Ray," he said. "You do your homework first thing when you get home," he said. "Then spend an extra hour on top of that studying in a field of your choice. You're getting to the age where you need to start planning what you want to do with the rest of your life, and research is always good. Eat all your dinner and do the dishes, no television or video games for a month until we can do a reassessment for you. On Saturday you mow the lawn and on Sunday you wash down the driveway. Computer time for homework and research only, no clearing the history so your mother or uncle can check and see what you're working on. You'll have your community service starting up in a week, but the judge is probably going to put that onto the weekends, so we can waive the lawn and driveway to once every two weeks or as needed while you're doing that."
"That's really fair, Sir, thank you," Ray said.
"I'd add in one thing," Horatio said softly. "Ray, I want you to do research on abusers and various causes and treatments if you have everything else done. Learn everything you can about the various forms of abuse for me, okay?"
"Okay, Uncle Horatio," Ray said.
"Yelina?" Horatio asked. "Is this all okay with you?"
"We'll give it a try," she said. "Ray, I'm still really disappointed in you for what you've done, but you're facing the consequences as an adult. For that, I'm proud of you. I think you'll understand more when you're older."
Horatio couldn't help but smile at that. "Breakfast guys?" he asked. "We haven't had a chance to eat yet."
"Can we, Mom?" Ray asked.
"Oh, sure," Yelina replied. "I think you need more time with a positive male influence, Ray."***
"Did you have a chance to talk with Ray while you guys were out walking?" Horatio asked later in the day when they were alone.
"Yeah, he's still not sure exactly what to make of me, but he opened up a little," Mac replied. He sat down next to Horatio and put an arm around his lover's shoulder. "I think that he'll stick to the punishments I detailed out, Horatio. I think he's got your sense of honor more than anything else."
"I don't suppose he told you why he wanted to join up with that gang did he?"
Mac sighed. "I don't think he really knows, to be honest. Ray's a young man looking for a place to belong and he found the wrong one," he said. "If I had a little more say in it, I'd find the local youth ROTC program and enroll him there."
"Yelina would throw a fit and never agree," Horatio said. "She's determined to keep Ray as far away from anything remotely dangerous and I think that's part of why he's acting out like he is. I wish I could show her that with three family members that are or were police officers, Ray is very likely going to look into something similar for himself one day. His reasoning probably wouldn't be too far off my own."
"Losing his dad like he did, that had to have made an impact on him," Mac agreed. "He might see the police department as a chance to try and help kids not have to go through what he did."
"I think all we can do is really all I've been able to do for years, and that's help him out however I can," Horatio said. "I'm dreading the day he asks about sex."
Mac couldn't help the snicker and quickly pressed a kiss to his lover's neck to soften it as much as he could. "You would have managed, love," he said. "I'll handle that talk if you want me to. After all, I'll be able to cover everything with him."
"Which is more than I would have been able to do," Horatio said. "Thank you, Mac. I'd appreciate the help."
"So, as long as we're talking about sex, want to make out like teenagers?" Mac asked.
Horatio flushed and looked down, but nodded. Mac tipped Horatio chin back up and kissed his nose softly. "Tell me if the teasing ever makes you uncomfortable, Horatio," he said. "I'm going to push and tease, but I don't want to hurt you again. Not if I can help it."
"I know, Mac, it just always takes me off-guard," Horatio said. "I still don't know when I'll be ready for more."
"Is it okay if I touch you here?" Mac rested a hand on Horatio's leg. "Just here, no higher."
"Yeah, that's okay," Horatio said. He shifted a little so he was facing Mac a little more head-on than before. "I'm sorry for making you wait."
"Don't be sorry for doing what you need to to be safe and comfortable, Horatio," Mac said. He leaned in and kissed Horatio's cheek. "I think that maybe you were pushing yourself too fast last time and we managed to get out of your comfort zone without realizing it. We're going to take this slowly and carefully and it will be that much more intense when we finally are able to make love again."
Horatio stared at Mac for a long moment. "I love you, Mac," he said softly.
"I love you too, Horatio."***
Mac's things arrived from New York early the following week. He stacked the boxes in the guest room to keep them out of the way while he unpacked and got things put away. "There's no way this is all of your things, Mac," Horatio said, looking at the boxes.
"I just asked them to pack up my books and decorations," Mac replied. "Clothes and other personal things. My furniture and kitchen stuff all went to various shelters around the city to help people there."
"You didn't have to get rid of your things to move down here, Mac," Horatio said.
"I didn't need those things," Mac said. "You're letting me move in here and our sense of style would clash. Besides Claire picked most of those pieces out and she always liked them more than I did. I kept them because of her, not because I liked them."
Horatio looked at him. "You didn't have to get rid of things your wife bought, Mac. I wouldn't have minded."
Mac handed over a couple of pictures. "These are better memories than the sofa, Horatio," he said. "Our wedding day and our ten year anniversary. Claire died just before our twenty year anniversary. I already had the time off and a trip planned when the planes hit the towers."
"You married young," Horatio said, sitting down next to Mac.
"We met when I was home on leave and dated for a couple of years before we got married when I was twenty," Mac said. "I posted home not long after that, so we had to get used to being together, but it was worth it. She was so full of life, Horatio. Taken far too early."
"Yes she was," Horatio said. "Are you going to hang these up in your office?"
"It won't make you uncomfortable?"
"Not at all," Horatio said. "She's still important to you and I would never take that away from you."
"Thank you." Mac leaned over and kissed Horatio softly. "I'm going to have to be fitted for a new uniform. I tried on my old one before you got home and it doesn't fit anymore. My dress uniform does, but not my daily uniform."
They both looked up at a knock on the door. "Any idea?" Horatio asked.
"Nope."
Horatio pushed up and headed to the front door. "Ray?"
"Hey Uncle Horatio, this is Cindy," Ray said. "She's in trouble and needs help and I couldn't go to Mom with this. She'd be mad at me."
"Okay, Ray, okay," Horatio said. "Come in, both of you. Mac, we have company. What's going on, Ray?"
"Cindy is in my class at school and she's been a member of the gang I was with the other day since the start of last year," Ray said. "Her dad just found out and kicked her out of the house and Cindy's pregnant."
Mac bit back a curse when he saw the kids in the hallway. "I think soda is in order here," he said. "Cindy, are you hungry, sweetie?"
"Yes, Sir."
"All right, I'll start on some sandwiches," Mac said.
"Come on, into the kitchen," Horatio said. "Ray, does your mother know where you are today?"
"Yes, Uncle Horatio, I told her I was coming here to talk with you about something important," Ray said. "I've finished my homework and research for the day, and Mom said she'd do the dishes if I needed to talk with you."
"Good boy," Horatio said. "Have a seat. Cindy, how old are you?"
"Fifteen, Sir."
"Do you know who the father is?"
"No."
"Okay, that's okay," Horatio said, knowing how some teen gangs operated. "I think that the best thing we can do is get you fed and then to the hospital for a check-up to be sure both you and the baby are healthy. Do you want Ray to come along?"
Cindy finally looked up. "Could he?" she asked. "He's the only one treating me like I'm worth something right now."
"Of course he can," Horatio said. "Of course he can, and I'll be right there with you the whole time too, okay? Cindy, you are worth so much. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you are, and we'll help you find yourself again. I promise you that."***
"Horatio?"
The red head turned and smiled softly. "Teresa," he said, "thanks for coming down on such short notice. I've got a bit of a situation."
"Fill me in."
"Fifteen-year-old girl kicked out of her house because she's expecting," Horatio said. "My nephew is a friend and brought her to me for help. The girl was a member of a gang and doesn't know who the father of the child is."
"So she needs a place to stay, support and possible adoption services," Teresa said. "All doable. Where is she now?"
"The doctors are still running some tests," Horatio said. "This is my nephew, Ray, and my partner Mac Taylor. How are you feeling now, Ray?"
Ray ducked his head. "Better, Uncle Horatio," he said. "The doctor said it was stress and I needed to take it easy for a few days."
"All right, we'll talk to your mother and see what we can come up with," Horatio said. "Ray, this is Teresa. She works with a group that helps young women that are in trouble, and she's going to talk with Cindy."
"Thanks for helping us, Uncle Horatio," Ray said. "Cindy was scared she'd have to live on the streets after her father kicked her out like he did."
"We'll see what we can do, Ray," Teresa said. "Sounds like you really care about Cindy. Would you like to be in there when I'm talking with her? Normally we'd have a parent in, but these are special circumstances."
"Could I?" Ray asked.
"Go ahead, Ray," Horatio said. "Tell Cindy that I'm close by if she wants to talk with me again, okay?"
Mac moved in close to Horatio when they were alone. "You really do know everyone, don't you?" he asked softly.
"I try to," Horatio replied. "I helped Teresa with a case about three years ago when one of the young girls her office was monitoring disappeared in the middle of the night. I think they'll be able to help Cindy get back on her feet, but the one thing I'm worried about is this gang."
"Are they going to be willing to let Cindy go so easily," Mac said. "We're thinking the same thing, Horatio. I'm worried about Ray, too."
"I wasn't expecting him to get sick like he did," Horatio said. He leaned against the wall with a sigh. "He made a mistake and I support him being punished for it, but is the punishment too much for him? Ray shouldn't be that stressed, should he?"
"No, not so stressed that he's getting sick," Mac agreed. "It's possible that he's worried about Cindy and that's what's thrown him over the edge though. I think the three of us should have a serious talk before we take him home again."
Horatio nodded. "We can do that," he said.
****
When they got back to the house, Horatio called Yelina and let her know that Ray was going to stay for dinner and they would have him home in time for bed. Mac started cooking something light to help Ray's stomach. "What's going through your mind, Ray?" he asked softly.
Ray put his pop down on the table with a sigh. "I'm worried about Cindy, Sir," he said. "I really like her and I don't want her to get hurt any more than she already has."
"I have to ask the question, Ray," Mac said. "Is there any change the baby could be yours?"
"No, Sir," Ray said.
"Okay, thank you for being honest," Mac said. "I know that's not a comfortable question to have a stranger ask you, but your uncle and I agreed that I would handle more of the sex questions if anything came up."
Ray flushed a little. "I haven't, with anyone," he said.
"It's okay, Ray, we can stop," Mac said. He put the pan in the oven and joined the teen at the table. "Do you have any idea what could have pushed you over the edge to be so stressed that you got sick?"
"I don't," Ray said. "It just sort of hit me today and I don't think I've ever felt that sick before."
Horatio came into the room and sat down at the table. "You mom knows where you are, Ray," he said. "I didn't tell her anything about what's going on, but you need to let her know you're not feeling good and show her the doctor's report."
"I've messed things up again, haven't I?" Ray asked.
"Of course not, Ray," Horatio replied. "You did perfect bringing Cindy to us for help. You can always come here and I'll help you with anything you need help on, okay? I know it's hard for you to not have a father, Ray, and I'll do my best to fill in when you need me."
"Thanks, Uncle Horatio," Ray said. "I didn't know what else to do."
"You did fine, Ray," Horatio said. "You did just fine."***
"Horatio, do you have a minute to talk?" Yelina asked, leaning in the door to the lab where Horatio was working.
"Of course, come in," Horatio replied. "I'm only reviewing some documentation, there's nothing sensitive, Yelina."
She nodded. "Horatio, I'm worried about Ray," she admitted. "He showed me the report from the doctor when you brought him home last night. He shouldn't be so stressed that he's sick. What are we missing?"
"Ray's concerned for a young friend of his," Horatio said. "She was kicked out of her house because she's expecting and Ray brought her to me for help. I have a friend that was able to find Ray's friend a temporary home while they're working on some other things."
"Why didn't he come to me?"
"Because the friend was also a member of the gang Ray was with and he worried that you wouldn't understand," Horatio said. "He promised me that he hasn't been talking with anyone from the gang except for this friend, and she wants out, Yelina."
"How did this get to be such a mess, Horatio?" Yelina asked. "I don't understand my son anymore."
Horatio sighed. "It's not an uncommon complaint for mothers with teenaged boys, I understand," he said. "Ray is coming to me as well, Yelina. He knows he has family that will support him and I think that maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing to ease back on him a little. Ray understands that he made a mistake and he needs to face punishment for it, but is it possible we're putting too much pressure on him when he's got school and community service?"
"Maybe," Yelina admitted with a sigh. "I totally overreacted when I took him home immediately after talking with you and Mac that first day. I admit that and I'm horrified that I did. I don't think I ever did thank you for stepping in and helping me see what I was doing. You never had anyone do that for you, did you?"
"I did, his name was Hank," Horatio said softly. "He helped me with homework and gave me a place to come when things at home were too much for me. When my father found out, he murdered Hank in front of me, and then threatened both my mother and me with the same fate if I talked to the police."
"Oh, Horatio, I didn't know," Yelina said.
"I've only just been table to talk about him with anyone," Horatio said. "Hank died a horribly and violent death, Yelina. My father set him on fire. For many years, I blamed myself for his death, but Mac's been helping me understand that it wasn't my fault, and I would do the same thing now that Hank did for me back then."
"Mac seems like a very smart man," Yelina said. "I'm amazed that he's helping with Ray as much as he is."
Horatio managed a smile. "Mac considers my family to be his family," he said. "Yelina, Mac has asked several times about getting Ray involved in one of the junior ROTC programs. It would give him discipline, a group of people he can relate to and chances to do things he's never done before. I know how you feel about anything remotely dangerous for Ray, but I think it would be a good idea."
"There's no contract to go into the military, is there?" Yelina asked.
"I don't know, but I can ask," Horatio replied. "Mac would know and he could tell you more before we even brought the idea up with Ray."
"Ask him. I make no promises I'll say yes, but I want to do the right things for Ray," Yelina said. "I told him he could have the next couple of days off chores at the house as long as he gets his homework done. I don't want him getting sicker."
"That's the ultimate goal," Horatio said. "Remind him he can come see me this weekend if he wants to."
"I will. I don't say it enough, Horatio, but thank you for being a father to Ray," Yelina said. "I don't know that I would be able to do this alone."
"You're a strong woman, Yelina. I think you would have done just fine," Horatio said.***
"I spoke with Yelina about the junior ROTC program today," Horatio said while he was helping Mac clean up the kitchen after dinner.
"That must have been an interesting conversation," Mac said. "What'd she say?"
"Her main concern was that there would be a contract for Ray to enter the Marines," Horatio said.
Mac nodded and put the last pot away. "That's actually a common concern among parents when they first hear about the program," he said. "I'd say most of the kids that join do want to go on to a military career, but there are some that just want a place to belong. To be around people that understand them and give back to their community in ways they couldn't otherwise do. I stand by my belief that the program would be good for Ray."
"I think that Yelina will be open to it as long as she's not signing anything that will put Ray into basic training when he graduates," Horatio said.
"She won't be. There will be contact with active soldiers, reservists, and beat up old Marines like me," Mac said. "There's uniforms and other events just like if they were in active service, but there's no contract to join up when the kids graduate. If they do join up though, their time in the program is considered."
Horatio turned and leaned against the counter. "Do you think that, if this is something Ray was interested in, it could be used in place of his community service?" he asked. "I'm worried about all the stress Ray has right now, and I've been wondering if part of it isn't coming from the places he's doing his time."
"That's possible, although if that's the problem, then someone needs to talk to those businesses and make sure they're behaving themselves," Mac said. "I checked, there's an orientation for summer join for Ray's age group this coming weekend. I could take him and see what he thinks of it all."
"Yelina will have to agree," Horatio said.
"Of course, do you want me to talk with her about it?" Mac asked. "That's my job now."
"Yes, it is," Horatio agreed with a smile. "I think you're the best one to explain everything to her, Mac. You know these programs better than I do, and I would just come up with more questions about it."
"I'll talk with Yelina, you check with the judge, and we can both go and look at the two businesses Ray's doing his community service at," Mac said. "I think that, between the two of us, if they are giving Ray a hard time, we can show them the error of their ways."
Horatio laughed. "I love it when we're on the same page, Mac," he said.
****
Yelina looked around. "Somehow I wasn't expecting balloons," she said. "This seems more like a party than anything relating to the military."
"The balloons are in Marine colors," Mac replied. "Come on, the registration booth is just up here. Ray, I know I've asked you this a lot, but are you sure this is something you want for yourself, and not because you think it's going to make your mother, uncle and me happy?"
"I'm sure," Ray said with a smile. "I've been reading about the Marine Corps, Mac, and I really like what I've seen there. I think it'll be fun to learn more first hand."
"All right, then let's go get you signed in," Mac said. "We'll meet you guys over by the seats."
Horatio's eyes had been scanning the crowd out of habit, but he didn't see anyone he recognized, or any threats. "What are you thinking, Yelina?"
"How do I let him go into the military if this is what he really wants?" she asked. "All his life I've told him I didn't want him involved in the police force. I tried to direct his interest to over fields, but we're here and he's been reading about the Marines. How do I do it?"
"By letting him fly free," a soft voice said from behind them.
Yelina and Horatio turned and found an older woman sitting in one of the chairs. "My four boys, they all enlisted right out of high school," she said. "Each time, I knew they might not come home, but it was all they wanted to do. The Marines were the only thing they talked about growing up, the only thing that interested them and I knew that if I held them back, they would leave and never come home to me even if they lived through their time in the service. So I let them do what they loved and prayed for them all each night."
"What happened?" Yelina asked, sitting down.
"They all lived and are happily married with families of their own," she replied. "My name is Martha and I come with my boys every year to talk with parents that have questions like yours. Sometimes soldiers die, but sometimes people are killed crossing the street. Doing what you love in life, it makes every day that much more alive. More colorful. Don't you agree, Lieutenant Caine?"
Horatio recognized her then. "Yes it does, Martha," he said. "Yelina, this is Martha Allens. She's married to the former chief of detectives."
"Of course, I should have recognized you," Yelina said. "It's a pleasure to meet you officially, ma'am."
"Just Martha here," she said. "Which one is yours?"
"My son Ray, just getting in line there," Yelina said. "His father is dead, killed in the line of duty. Horatio is his uncle."
"And my partner, Mac Taylor," Horatio said. "Mac, do you know Martha Allens?"
"I do," Mac said with a smile. "Good to see you, Martha."
"You as well, Mac. Are you mentoring young Ray?"
Mac nodded. "For now, but I think that his squad commander will take over soon enough," he said. "Yelina, I'll introduce you when the games are over. They're going to let the kids get to know each other with basketball and baseball first and then we'll have the talks about exactly what a commitment here means. Ray though, he's happier than I've ever seen him."
"I'll second that," Horatio said with a smile.***
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