Title: I'll Be Over You
By: angstytimelord
Pairing: Greg Sanders/Nick Stokes
Fandom: CSI: Vegas
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: Post-ep for the S11 CSI: Vegas episode "Cello and Goodbye," and a sequel to the Greg/Nick fic "Go Your Own Way". Completely unrelated to the other Greg/Nick series that I write.
Disclaimer: This is entirely a product of my own imagination, and I make no profit from it. I do not own the lovely Greg Sanders or Nick Stokes, unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while. Please do not sue.

***

Nick glanced over at Greg, watching surreptitiously as the other man processed a piece of evidence at the crime scene they were working on. This was the second time they had worked together since their breakup, and he was feeling more and more awkward.

Being in the same room with Greg and not saying anything to him about their broken relationship was getting harder every day. Nick knew that at some point, they had to clear the air -- and that wasn't going to happen until they sat down and talked it out.

He knew that Greg wasn't going to come back to him. He had made the ultimate mistake, and he was going to have to pay for that mistake for the rest of his life. But if he was going to work with Greg, he couldn't let things go on as they were.

They had to talk at some point. He hated this awkwardness between them, the silence that always fell whenever the two of them were in the same room with each other. It was a tense, nervous feeling, one that Nick didn't like dealing with, especially at work.

"Looks like some blood spatter over here," Greg told him, standing up and pointing the camera down at the bottom of the wall he was standing next to. "Let me get this photographed, then I'll take the rest of this back to the lab and work on it."

Nick winced at the other man's words; he knew that Greg would rather stay out here and work the case, rather than go back to the lab and work with the processing. But he wanted to get away from his present company, and in some ways, Nick couldn't blame him.

"Greg, we need to talk. And this is as good a time and place as any," he said, keeping his voice steady and calm. "You won't take my calls, and you won't see me outside of work. We can't talk at the lab, so it's got to be here and now."

"There's nothing to talk about," Greg told him without looking up, his voice terse. "We broke up. That's all there is to it. I'm seeing somebody else. I've moved on, and you need to do the same thing and stop all this obsessing over me. It's not doing you any favors."

"I'm not obsessing over you!" Nick protested, feeling stung by Greg's words. "I love you, Greg. That doesn't just stop because you decide we've broken up. I can't turn my feelings off and on like that. Like you can, apparently," he added, feeling guilty the moment he said the words.

He hadn't meant to be cruel to Greg. After all, what had happened between them was his fault. He had neglected Greg for most of the time they'd been together, making it obvious that his job mean more to him than his boyfriend did. Greg had every right to walk away.

But it hurt to feel that Greg could turn to someone else so easily, that he could slip into a new relationship without even having had time to mourn the one they had shared. Or had he been doing his mourning long before Nick had known that it was over?

"You need to get over me, Nick." Greg finally looked up at him, his dark eyes meeting Nick's across the room. Nick couldn't read those eyes the way he used to be able to; it was as though there was a screen over Greg's innermost feelings, one that he couldn't break through.

"I can't do that as easily as you seem to think I can, Greg," he said softly, wishing that he could make the younger man understand just how he felt. "I've loved you too much for too long. I'll be over you as soon as forever is past. That's how long it's going to take."

"I'm sorry, Nick." Greg's tone was sincere; Nick didn't doubt that he meant what he said. "But I can't be with you any more. I can't spend my life with somebody whose job is always going to come before me. Jonah isn't like that. With him, I come first."

"And he's the same way with you, isn't he?" Nick said sadly. "I wish I'd been smart enough to realize what I had when I had it. It's my own fault I lost you, Greg. I know that. I just wish you had been able to feel like you could give us another chance. I wouldn't have let you down again."

"You don't know that." Greg shook his head, sighing as he did so. "You kept saying that when we were together, Nick. You kept saying that next time, things would be different. And they never were. How many chances did you expect me to give you before I walked away?"

"I know I asked for too much," Nick whispered, feeling tears well up behind his eyes and blinking them back. This was no time for him to start crying; it wouldn't do any good to shed tears now. He'd already done enough of that.

Greg was right. It was time for him to move on, even though he didn't know how he was going to. He didn't want to find someone else. He couldn't replace Greg, not in his bed and not in his heart. Greg was the only man for him. If he wasn't with Greg, then he would be alone.

Without Greg in his life, he would rather be alone. There was no one else for him, either male or female, no one else who he could ever love in the way that he loved Greg. He would spend the rest of his life regretting the things that he'd done to cause him to lose the best thing in his life.

"I'll never be over you," he said, his throat tightening as he spoke. "I know you've moved on, but don't hate me for not being able to do that, Greg. I love you too much to just walk away and accept that I've lost you for good. I guess I'll always hope that you might have second thoughts."

"Don't, Nick." Greg's voice was soft, but Nick could hear the steel underlying the words. "Don't hope that I'll come back to you with open arms. It isn't going to happen. I'm sorry, and I didn't want to hurt you like this. But I couldn't let you keep hurting me."

"I don't blame you for that," Nick told him, shaking his head. "I was a fool, and I made a lot of stupid mistakes that I shouldn't have made. It's my own fault that I lost you. But don't just tell me to get over you, Greg. It isn't going to be that easy for me to do."

"It wasn't easy for me to walk away, either," Greg said, his voice very low and husky. "But I had to, Nick. For both of us. You need to be with somebody who can deal with never being first in your life. That isn't me. I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is."

Nick nodded, his throat tightening on all of the words he wanted to speak but couldn't force past the lump in his throat. He knew that if he was going to say something eloquent that might win Greg back to his side, this was the time. It was now or never.

But he couldn't do it. There were no words to bring Greg back to him, nothing that he could think of to say that hadn't already been said. He'd made a horrible mistake, and it had cost him the love of his life. He just had to learn to live with that.

He loved Greg. He would always love Greg. And what he had told his former lover had been the truth. He would never stop loving Greg, not until forever was over and done. Even then, he was sure that he would still be hopelessly in love with Greg Sanders.

"I'll never get over you, Greg. No matter what you might think," he whispered before he turned and headed out of the room. He couldn't stay here, not for one second longer. If he did, he would fall to his knees at Greg's feet and beg for another chance.

Greg was right. He'd already had enough chances. He had to accept what he'd done, and deal with the consequences like a man. He couldn't expect to be given chance after chance, not when he'd already let Greg down far too many times.

He didn't want to talk to Greg about this again; it hurt too much. He was sure that Greg was hurting just as badly as he was, but Greg had already moved on. He was doing what he felt that he had to do, and it was something that had to be accepted for what it was.

Nick was sure that somewhere deep inside, Greg still loved him -- but he had been foolish enough to think that love would endure no matter how badly he treated Greg. He'd found out the hard way that it wouldn't -- and he would spend the rest of his life regretting his own actions.

Sighing, Nick closed his eyes for just a moment, trying to gather his emotions together and push them away from him. He didn't need to deal with them now. He had to work with Greg on a professional level, and forget everything else that had been between them.

Going back into the house, he saw Greg glance up at him, then look quickly back down. He went over to the other man, gently but firmly taking the evidence out of his hands. "I'll take this back to the lab. You stay here and keep working the scene."

"Are you sure?" Greg asked, looking skeptical. Usually, Nick was the one who wanted to stay at the scene. And he had a right to, really; he'd been a CSI for longer than Greg, and he had a seniority with the team that the younger man couldn't deny.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Nick nodded and turned away before Greg could question him further. "I'll get to work on this at the lab, and you come back when you've got the rest. Are you going to be okay here?" he asked, turning back once he'd reached the doorway.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," Greg told him, nodding. "I'll be back in a little while." He looked down again, bending down to examine something else on the floor. "I'll call in before I head back. I doubt there'll be any kind of problems." He had obviously already pushed their conversation away.

Nick nodded curtly, heading out of the door and out to the Denali. He resisted the urge to wipe a hand across his eyes, even though he could feel tears rising behind his eyes again. Yes, it would be a long time before he was over Greg. And in his heart, he doubted that he ever would be.

***

Next story in series - If You Could Only See.